The Crappy Feelings Thread (HOTLINES in first post)

[kisstheviolets]

i'm feeling really homesick for my life and friends back in MA. i've been increasingly miserable, almost to the point of tears on a few occassions. while there's a degree of loneliness involved, it's mostly just frustration at the situation, and the guilt i feel as a result of feeling frustrated, that is making me feel so crappy.

the main reason i came home to CA last fall was to help my mom out financially (and otherwise) since she's been in poor health and unable to work. she's been waiting for her social security appeal hearing for over a year and a half and the last we heard it'll likely be in in early may. i got her a lawyer to handle the appeal which significantly increases the likelihood that she'll be awarded the benefits (and oddly enough we later found out the lawyer went to my law school and interned at the agency i worked for - 3,000 miles away!). so once she gets those benefits i'll be able to go back to MA and know that she'll be all right financially but it's hard not to be able to make definitive plans to get back. and i'm happy to be able to be here and help my mom - i owe her all of this and more - so i feel guilty about being so sick of it here and just wanting to get back to my life.

but the simple fact is, i freaking hate california more than i can put into words. i'm reminded of the line in the rufus wainwright song "california" that goes: "life is the longest death in california." all i can say is "amen brother. amen."

[summer fairy]

I keep waking up several times a night.. me is sleepy!

[littlewicca]

please dont do that.
well i feel the smae sometimes about your first point

[dlline]

Migraines suck...my day is shot.

Happy Easter!

[Bound2Her]

Oh man I hate Easter....

[Saena]

Something that I thought I had gotten over just affected me really emotionally a moment ago. I know it's just a momentary thing, not any kind of relapse into a bad place, but it frustrates me that I still feel like crying when we talk about this.

Saena

[umgaynow]

If this cold does not go away soon I shall be most put out!

Ah to be able to breathe again...

[dlline]

I thought it was a migraine yesterday.

Apparantly, it's the stomach flu.

Yuck!

[summer fairy]

I'm really sad because I just found out that my neighbout is moving! She can be annoying but I will miss her, I am actually a lot more sad about this than I thought I would be...

[Auriam]

I'm soo stupid
with my stupidness i make a friend worried about me.
Cause she is very sweet and a wonderful friend !
Now i feel really bad about that !

[Sapphire eyes]

I hate having OCD when I think I ma delaing with it something comes up and its washing hands all the time again...I am too stressed I need a holiday so bad :( I am so sick of being an emotional punching bag for some people. I am too nice.

[JujuDeRoussie]

I went to the post office today and ask about rules to send things to the USA... to a friend... and I was very disappointed to learn that I can't send what I wanted... I can try but it risks to be sent back to me .

it sucks

[summer fairy]

I have bad stomouch ach... to much milkshake... might go bed!

[Bound2Her]

I feel like hell and I would love nothing more but to lay around in bed all day, but I have thing's to do. Psh. And people are being annoying.

Lovely.

[Boschi]

A mild annoyance: suddenly, at age 29, developing an allergy to poison ivy after being able to bathe in the stuff with immunity previously.

A truly crappy occurence: suddenly, at age 31, developing a systemic allergic reaction to poison ivy such that I have oozing sores over ... well... all over.

Dear lord in heaven, I itch.

[Auriam]

I'm sick !
i can't smell nothing !

[Bound2Her]

i feel like throwing up.....this week sucks.

[summer fairy]

I have way to much housework, instead i'm on here, which, to me is a far better way to spend my time on, haha!

[MagicPancakes]

everything went to shit...i have no job, let alone a career, no hope of going to school any time soon, my girlfriend hates philadelphia, and we live here, so our relationship is getting increasingly rocky...it doesnt help that she can't get her antidepressants (because she doesnt have insurance) and i won't go on them even though i know i need them (because i'm stubborn and i dont want my family to know im on them)

we fight alot lately and its taking a toll on both of us. we don't have any friends anymore, except the ones that just want to sit around and get stoned all the time and that's not working for me.

and i dont have anyone to talk to about christie and i, even though i need someone to talk to so bad...it doesn't matter. i don't even know how to make friends anymore.

i can't even make internet friends anymore.

i know, if im patient, things will eventually work themselves out but im tired of sitting around being patient. i'm starting to believe that i'm really NOT going to go anywhere in life. i screwed myself somewhere along the way.

i feel like such a loser...my hugest wish right now is for a friend, a real one.

[Bound2Her]

I'm feeling a bit homesick myself and I don't know why. I don't really like it there but somehow being in the presence of my mother makes me feel like thing's are ok. Though that sense of comfort tends to leave a day or so after I get home. I'm starting to wish I could just go home for a month or two, maybe things would be different. Maybe I'd get a different perspective out of my life out here.

Sad thing is, I really can't go home right now. Bah.

[Saena]

I've become increasingly curt and uptight and impatient and excessively mothering to a close friend of mine recently, and I don't like it. Every time I say something to her, it comes out wrong, and I feel guilty after each interaction. I see her a bit disapprovingly a lot, even though she doesn't deserve it. She's come a long way from where she was at the beginning of this year, but I've created some kind of roadblock to giving her what she needs in this friendship.

This isn't the first time this has happened between me and another person. But unlike the other times, this person is integral to our circle of friends. I feel like if I can't fix whatever I'm approaching wrong in our friendship, it's going to make things tense between me and other people I'm close to, people I really care about a lot.

I don't want to fail as a friend to her. But I don't know how to change this behavior.

Saena

[Boschi]

So I don't know if this is a crappy feeling. It's just a decision.

I can't work with my business partner. Or at least, I can't get what I need from this situation. So I started looking for jobs. Yes, it's 3 a.m., but no time like the present. Better than lying in bed feeling trapped.

So now I need to figure out how to extricate myself from this still nascent business in a way that causes the least damage to myself, him and the various people whose reputations and opinions are intertwined in this.

Booger.

[Auriam]

My lil sis hasto go today !
This week end pass sooo fast !
I mean one minute she just arrive to my place and now we wake up and she has to go! ! !
I miss her already !

[JujuDeRoussie]

I just got home from my sister's... I'm sad :(

It was a wonderful week end... unfortunatly as a week end it ended today....

I miss her...

[Floyd]

Back to school tomorrow. :( I can't take any more!

[dlline]

Just a crappy day.

My power keeps going out because of the 60mph winds.

I feel like crap.

I know way too many people at Virginia Tech.

I'm going to bed soon because I just give up.

[Sapphire eyes]

I share too much and peoiple use that to make me feel insecure...I will have to bite my lip from now on...

[JujuDeRoussie]

I'm trying to not put my noose in business that is not mine, but sometimes the angry feeling it makes me feel is overwhelming...
Still I'm not gonna put my noose there, but how I want to!!!

I thank my grand mother to have taught me how be polite by letting my noose out of people's business!

[Willowtree252]

I sliped on a wet floor going to work this morning and busted my ankle and shoulder I am out of work till further notice and I havent missed a day of work all year after it happened then thay put cones and new mats down I want to go to work I miss my babys

[Bound2Her]

I get noooo moral support from my sister when it comes to me doing all of these independent things for myself for the first time. Yet my mother is right with happiness about it and seems more eager to talk to me these days. But I don't live with her. Not much she can do, but it's always nice to hear her be encouraging instead of my sister who just complains about everything. Whatever.