by hin768 » Sun Jun 03, 2007 1:08 am
Ahhh...I need to vent.
So here's the deal. About a month when I was over at my brothers house visiting he asked me if I would be guardian of his kids if anything ever happened to he and his wife.
I was kind of surprised, and told him that I thought he would have asked my parents or his wife's parents. He just said that he hadn't really thought of them and that they had initially thought of his wife’s brother and his fiancée but then changed their minds as they’re not sure about the fiancée. So I said yeah sure, I’d be happy to do it.
Let me back track slightly and explain that I am not out to my brother yet. Not for any particular reason, I've been planning to tell him for months ( I came out to my folks about 6 mths ago) but hadn't gotten around to it. Anyway, so I'm thinking hmm...I probably should tell him that now, so I did. I explained that I am bi, he was fine with it but was a little taken aback initially, mainly because he'd never suspected so was just getting his head around it.
Anyway, so I explained that I just thought he should know, expecially given what he’d just asked me and that I could end up in a long term relationship with a woman and I didn’t know if it changed anything for him but that some people might not choose that for their kids.
He agreed that he didn’t care himself but wondered whether if would mean his kids would get teased and it would be harder for them etc etc. You could see him start rethinking it all.
Anyway, I didn’t want to get into an argument about it and wasn’t really sure how I felt, so it was kind of left open, nothing really got decided. I remember driving home with really mixed emotions Anyway, I tried to just forget about it and figured they would just do what they thought best but realised that they may very well change their minds now.
So, today we were all at my parents place for lunch and I overheard then asking my Mum if she and my Dad would be guardian of the kids. I tried not to listen as I didn’t want to get upset but I heard my name a few times so I guess they were explaining why they changed their minds or talking about how they thought I would take it. I’d mentioned it to my Mum a few weeks ago explaining what had happened at my brothers and how I was feeling and I think she could see it from all points of view.
Anyway, I’m still at my parents place right now so I don’t know whether my brother is actually going to say anything to me about it tonight or just leave it for my Mum to give me the update. Don’t get me wrong my brother is a really great guy, I think he probably feels kinda shitty about the situation and isn’t sure how to deal with it.
I am sooo conflicted right now, on the one hand thinking that they changed their minds and feeling discriminated against and being really upset about that, also feeling really pissed off for not having come out to him earlier and avoid this situation entirely. I feel like I kind of put him on the spot a little as well.
I hope I don’t piss people off for saying this but a part of my can understand why they would change their minds and want to pick guardians who would create an environment that would closely match themselves..ie heterosexual. I get that kids with two Mums might get teased more than those who don’t. And I know that kids get teased for all sorts of reasons so maybe it makes no difference. But I can’t help but feel frustrated by the situation.
And then I think, am I totally overreacting – I mean I'm the one that thought they should go to my parents in the first place. Besides, chances are this is never going to be an issue anyway. Am I taking this too personally and shouldn’t I respect the fact that my brother is going to do what he feels is best for his children even if that means my feelings get a little hurt.
Thanks for anyone that read this far, I just had to unload that.
Last edited by
hin768 on Sun Jun 03, 2007 1:45 am, edited 2 times in total.
Gym and Swimming Damn now I can't walk I am ssssssssoooooooo sore . >>>>>>>>> 
not me for sure today,
