" Through it all" ....

[LadyCallie]

This past year has been such a roller-coaster. I met my soulmate, my life-bond , my mate, and 3 months later I moved several thousand miles away from her. I had known my family would be moving from our northern Ohio home all the way to the homophobic capital of the US- Dallas Texas, since this time last year. What I didn't know was that I would fall absolute head-over-heels in love a the amazing woman I did (more impressive was that I didn't know I was gay until after I'd fallen). Kat (who goes by RealLiveTara here on the Kitten) and I had done a show together back in the summer of 2000, but we hadn’t kept in touch. Why would we? I was 15 at the time and homeschooled; she was 18 and headed to college. During the run of the show, we talked, but we had our groups that we hung with and didn't really spend time together. I was also nursing a crush on one the guys, who unknown to me, liked me back thought I didn't like him, so he kept quiet. ARGH! MEN!!!!! I will never understand them. Which is one reason I like girls. ::beams::



Blah blah woof woof, skipping forward a year. I was back at the theatre in a different show and a new group of people, one of which was the roommate of the guy I had feelings towards last summer and she hooked us up. Well after about 3 weeks with this guy things started to cave in. I hadn't seen him in over a week, so when I heard that he was going to his high school Alumni-Night (when the old graduates get to play with the marching band once again) I was so there.



As it turns out my (yuck I have to call him this) boyfriend paid me no attention, and I bumped into Kat, who had come home from school to play that night. We talked the whole football game through, and right before I left I happened to mention Buffy. She lit up- turns out she'd just started watching too. I quickly gave her my email address (which she remembered correctly without writing it down) and that night she wrote me.



Shortly after we started talking on AIM, and whenever she was home from school for a while, I'd go over and we'd watch our favorite shows (Buffy and Angel naturally) together. It wasn't until after the new year that I realized that I loved her, only in my mind it wasn't called *love*. I knew that my friendship with her was stronger then any I'd had (excluding the bond I have with my "sister" Amy, just had to mention her), but I hadn’t realized that I was in love with her.



I'd joked with several friends about how I thought life would be easier if I were gay, but I hadn't thought seriously about it. Until I realized how Kat felt about me. I very seriously questioned myself to make sure I really did love her, and wasn’t' just playing along because I liked being with her, or was taking an easy romance because the kind of person Kat is, I knew she'd never ever hurt me and it was be safe, and I'd be the leader, the boss. After much inner debate and the help of my wonderful beta, I was able to shoo the fears of so completely loving Kat away, and 4 days later I gave her her first kiss.



I swear we couldn't have bonded any more thoroughly then the first time we kissed. It was like...everything fled from my mind except that this felt *so* unbelievably right. When she offered her lips to mine, when she didn't tilt her head away like every-other-time I'd gotten close to her mouth that night (I was letting her set the pace, but I made sure she knew that I was ready anytime), when she parted her lips and I tasted my mate for the first time... I seriously wondered if I'd died and gone to Heaven. I was shaking, the feeling was so intense.



For the next 3 months Kat and I learned and taught eachother. We surprised eachother, and sometimes ourselves, with our feelings and thoughts. We took eachother places we wouldn't have gone before. We held eachother close in the bad times, and walked together in the good times. We faced challenges against our love together. She loved me, and I loved her back. We promised eachother our unending love, we physically proved the depth of our love.



And we said goodbye when I left Ohio. It had to be one of the hardest things I've ever done, and we're both so upset about being apart. I keep telling her that it's only temporally (it is too, I'm moving back to Ohio for college this summer and I will be moving in with my girlfriend), and hopefully this is the last time we'll have to be parted in our lives together.



But what I just realized last night at 3am was that I don't think I would have been able to survive the move from Ohio to Texas if I didn't have her. So many little things could have kept us from meeting. I'm so unhappy here in Texas, but I know I would feel worlds worse if I didn't have her to help me, to comfort me. I thank God everyday for blessing me with her love. In Tara's words she "makes me complete."



That's what gets me through. Her love, and the almighty lord that brought us together.





Thanks for letting me gush and ramble girls. Ever since I got down here I’ve been constantly writing. It’s soothing.

-LC

~*~

RealLiveTara is my RealLiveGirlfriend! :)

"It doesn't have to be a really frenchish french, I just wanna feel your tongue."- my grilfriend last night.

Moderator of the
Dark Angel Fanfiction Board and Boo's Corner.


~*~

[LeatherQueen]

Hey LC, that was a great story. And buck up... you'll survive Dallas. It can be harsh here, but you can find support in the oddest of places.



LQ - a fellow Dallasite Kitten...

--------------------------------


"But when they're playing your song on the jukebox in Hell, you might as well dance." - K. Simpson


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

[friskylez]

I wanted to "rejuvenate" this thread cause i am glad that i have "met" and become friends with the kittens from this board..I dont think i can say that too much



Its been a tough few months, but having this board to get "through it all", has made the bumps a little easier to ride out..



I am enjoying kitten chat and getting to know the kittens there..This board has opened up opportunities to make new friends and meet some great people..



Laughter is the best medicine and having friends that can make ya laugh and smile is a wonderful, wonderful thing...

"Life is what happens, while waiting for your ship to come in"

[relativegirl]

What frisky said. Kittens will get you through the worst of times.

Broncos 4 - 1

[xita]

i second that, I hope people reach out to each other here, be random chat up someone randomly , reach out by email. IT pays off in friendships that I know will go beyond anything on television.

- - - - - - - - - - - -
Tara and Willow

Accept NO subsitutes

[slayer747]

i agree to the fact that the kittens are the best friends anyone could wish for. keep it up guys. as for my "through it all" update. i can't honestly say that i am through it all, however, i am getting through the toughies quite fine. thanks to you guys.



edited to add:

oh, and a new friend of mine is also a great help.

------------
"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong, and those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie "Once and Again"

Edited by: slayer747  at: 10/10/02 7:40:37 pm

[Urn of Osiris]

This place offered safety when very few places did. In Here I can say every word of anger I have over S6 and you all understand.



I have never been on a board that so openly welcomes newbies and embraces such diversity.



The Kitten The Witches and the bad wardrobe got me through some serious sorrow.



Thanks for that.



Oh and Pens, I'm not sure any place in cyberspace loves W/T so completely!

Urn of Osiris
_________________**

"Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses."
— George Washington Carver "Bite me Harris." Anya Beneath you
Voice your opinion about Tara http://www.petitiononline.com/Tara/petition.html

[Dumbsaint]

Regarding what UO just said about Pens... well, duh! Of course Pens is W/T love central. No one loves W/T more than the Kitties do. It's an unwritten law of the universe, right up there with "Willow loves Tara," "Tara loves Willow," and "Kitties do it better."

"And never let it be said that I left a Tara craving unsatisfied." Willow, Wilderness Pt. 1

[DaNzS]

A couple of months back i had anxiety disorder. I'm so scared of being alone. I can't stay at home alone, I can't travel alone, to make things short, because of this I have no social life. I can't force people to stay with me at home during weekends, (weekdays i have work) everytime I cry coz i feel so alone. My parents and two of my sisters are working abroad, then the only sister left with me here got married and she has to live her own life, and my girlfriend is also miles away from me because she has to study. Left me alone in an apartment. And it gets really sad and scary.

That was the toughest moment in my life. The people I love, though they are physically far from me showed me that i'm not alone. My family went back here to be with me for a while, my girlfriend is very supportive and she loves me very much. And now my life is back to normal. There will be times I will get scared but thinking of them gives me the strength to fight my fears.