GLBT News

[Jennpurr]

www.lavendermagazine.com/sections/pages/vangorp.html

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CENTERED AND OUT

MICHELLE VAN GORP TELLS IT LIKE IT IS

ARTICLE AND PHOTOS BY SOPHIA HANTZES





Michele Van Gorp stands tall—6'6" to be exact. As a center for the Minnesota Lynx, she speaks her truth on and off the basketball court, and her compass has been living her life with honesty and integrity.



Van Gorp talks directly, and with the force of her approach to the basket, about her growing up; her decision to leave Purdue for Duke; the Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA); and her lifetime partner and spouse, Kyleen.



On May 30, before taking on the New York Liberty, Van Gorp, icing her ankle, sat down to talk with Lavender Magazine. Ironically, she began her WNBA career with the New York Liberty in 1999.



When asked how the WNBA views her relationship with Kyleen, Van Gorp says, "I had a lot of issues in New York in my first year. The [New York] organization wasn't very happy that Kyleen would come down to [meet] me at the team bus as we were leaving for practice."



In fact, at one point, a coach scheduled a lunch with Van Gorp to discuss her sexual orientation. "It was actually a big issue, and a big part of why, the game of basketball aside, I didn't like being in New York," Van Gorp recalls. "Within the organization, it seemed very taboo, and that was hard for me, because it is not something I am afraid of. It is who I am. I don't try to push it on anyone, but I'm not going to live my life differently because someone else is scared of what society thinks."



Subsequently, Sue Wicks, then-forward for the New York Liberty, came out publicly as a lesbian in the May 30, 2002 issue of Time Out New York Magazine.



Fortunately, Van Gorp reports that since leaving New York, she hasn't had any "other issues in any other places" regarding her relationship with Kyleen.



Having grown up in Michigan with her parents and two sisters, Van Gorp doesn't remember modeling herself after other athletes. Rather, she credits the individuals who taught and coached her as childhood mentors.



In Van Gorp's words, "I can't really say I had heroes or anything of that nature [while] going through high school. I would say the two most influential people in my life were my coach, Larry Clemans, and one of my teachers, Mrs. Voss. She was a brilliant woman who taught history. She made things very interesting and challenged us. That was nice to have."



When asked about coming out, Van Gorp's first response is very pragmatic and concise. "This is who I am," the statuesque player unequivocally states.



And while that statement itself is simple, initially making the admission was anything but.



According to Van Gorp, "It took me a long time to be comfortable with it, just dealing with it as a teenager. Adolescence is never easy for anyone. Everyone has different things that they have to be comfortable with, whether they're tall, short, straight, gay, black, white, orange, or purple. You know, everyone has different issues that they have to deal with, and that was just one of my issues.



"But I've always just been true to myself, and as long as I'm happy within myself, then I'm going to be happy in life. If I'm struggling with something—when I look in the mirror, [and] I just can't stand the person that's looking back at me—I'm not going to be good at anything. So as long as I am happy with myself, the rest of the things kind of take care of themselves."



When it comes to family, however, being true to herself has created conflict for Van Gorp. "I don't speak at all with my father. He hasn't been able to accept it, and that's his choice. That's hard on my mom, because she wants us to get along, but my father has just never been able to accept it. I'm fine with that. I don't have any problems with that. That's what he wants," Van Gorp shares.



Van Gorp left Michigan at 17 to play basketball at Purdue with Coach Lin Dunn. In 1996, after Van Gorp's sophomore year, Dunn was fired. Van Gorp's reaction was unwavering.



As Van Gorp relates, "If I don't feel like a place where I am is right, or if there is not a plausible explanation for something that's been done that I don't agree with, I really don't want to be a part of it.



"I came there to win a championship, to play for Coach Dunn, and get an education. I can get an education at a lot of different universities, but the program at Purdue is what drew me there."



After Dunn's firing, several players decided to leave the school, including Van Gorp, who transferred to Duke University.



At Duke, Van Gorp graduated with a major in Psychology, and a minor in Markets and Management. "The thing is," Van Gorp notes, "when I transferred from Purdue, I was majoring in Kinesiology, and Duke doesn't have a Kinesiology program, so I had to find something that I could graduate in—in time. And I had several classes in Psychology, so that's what I ended up finishing my degree in."



In her two years playing basketball at Duke, Van Gorp averaged 13.9 points and 4.8 rebounds per game.



The tallest women's player in Duke's history, Van Gorp led the Blue Devils to the 1999 National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) National Championship Game, scoring 15 points in the title game that they lost to Purdue, the same team she had left two years before.



Psychology degree in hand, Van Gorp began her career in the WNBA, picked by New York in the second round (18th overall) of the 1999 WNBA Draft. In 2000, she was traded to the Portland Fire, and in 2001, to the Minnesota Lynx, where she begins her sixth season in the WNBA.



Van Gorp's career has been marred by injuries and playing with significant pain.





OFF-SEASON PLAY



* Sports International Group, Inc.

* 2000-01 Ronchetti Cup Panathinaikos, Greece

* 2001-02 Euroleague Bourges, France

* 2002-03 Dynamo Moscow, Russia

* 2003-04 Euroleague Ros Casares Valencia, Spain



When asked what it's like playing with injuries, Van Gorp responds, "It sucks. It hurts. It's mentally very trying. That's the hardest part of the game for me. I've got a lot of things that are just nagging, and I have a lot of arthritis issues. It's tough, but I can take care of it.



Off the court, Van Gorp's time is spent in Vermont with Kyleen, with whom she celebrated a civil union. "It's just beautiful there. [It's] gorgeous...I love it," Van Gorp enthuses about the area she refers to as her favorite place on earth. "When I'm there, I just feel relaxed. I feel happy, and that's where I'm the most comfortable."



True to who she is, Van Gorp has very definite opinions regarding same-sex marriage rights and the Federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).



"Everyone makes a controversy out of DOMA, and what I can't understand is people getting hung up on the term 'marriage,'" Van Gorp emphasizes. "It's not that gay people necessarily want the term 'marriage.' "We have a partnership in life, as much as any straight couple does, and for the government to say, 'Well, you can't have the benefits that come along with that, that everybody else gets,' is just wrong.



"People try to say it's not a civil issue. Well, it is a civil issue. We don't care what you call it. If you want to call it a civil union, you can call it a civil union. If you want to call it marriage, call it marriage."



Additionally, Van Gorp firmly believes that when it comes to federal policy, a separation of church and state must be observed. "For you to sit there and give me religious reasons why we shouldn't have gay marriage is just ludicrous," Van Gorp remarks. "I think it comes down to fiscal policy, because no matter how much a politician agrees or doesn't agree with it, if it's something that's fiscally good, and it's going to benefit the government, then they're going to be for it."



Van Gorp continues, "The fact is, if we as gay people have any additional Social Security benefits, or additional protections and retirement benefits, that marriage, as it's so defined, provides, that is going to be an additional strain on...the Social Security network that's already being strained. So, I think it's as much of a 'moral dilemma' for the government as it is a fiscal one.



"We as gay people are not there to destroy an institution. That is just ridiculous. We just want to be able to have the same benefits that a man and a woman do. Just because one couple is a man and a woman, and another couple is two people of the same sex, doesn't make the relationship any different."



Van Gorp's message to WNBA players who are not out in the league is simple. "It's a personal choice for everyone, and if you're not comfortable enough with yourself to be out, then you're not. And if that makes you happier not to be out, then don't be out. But don't be afraid if you are out. There are a lot of people who are straight, and there are a lot of people who are gay. That's just how life is."



Van Gorp adds, "There are always going to be networks of people to hang out with. And, like [the Lynx], we don't try to define it that way. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I don't hang out with the straight people. We all go out together. We'll go to the gay clubs or the straight clubs together. We just want to have fun together and enjoy each other's time."



Van Gorp plans to attend Twin Cities Pride Festival, and she has a special message for members of the GLBT community regarding attendance at the event.



As Van Gorp puts it, "Have a good time. Be civil with each other. Remember that it's a high-profile event, and that you're a representative of the gay community. Act with integrity."



©2004 Sophia Hantzes/Lavender Magazine. All Rights Reserved. No part may be reproduced.

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Jen

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Phoebe: Be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting demons. ~ Charmed: Season 2, "P3 H20"
Quia ego cognosco cogitationes meas, quas ego cogito super vos, dicit Jehova, cogitationes pacis, et non in malum; ut dem vobis finem et expectationem. ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Edited by: Jennpurr at: 6/27/04 9:49 pm

[kpmuse]

This is very disturbing.... Yikes!



Protests As Virginia Gay Unions Ban Goes Into Effect

by 365Gay.com Newscenter Staff



(Richmond, Virginia) As a law described as the most virulently anti-gay legislation in the nation went into effect Thursday gay civil rights groups across the state held demonstrations.



The law will prevent the state from recognizing gay marriages, civil unions, and domestic partnerships and block any "contract or other arrangement" same-sex couples may enter into.



An attempt by Virginia Governor Mark R. Warner to soften the impact by removing sections nullifying contracts was overridden by the legislature.



Virginia already has a so-called Affirmation of Marriage Act that was passed in 1997 denying same-sex couples the right to marry, but the sponsor of the new law, Del. Robert G. Marshall (R-Prince William) said it did not go far enough.



"Civil unions are a proxy for marriage and domestic partnerships are a proxy for civil unions," Marshall said. ''This has nothing to do with abrogating the ability of anyone entering into a contract.''



But, legal experts and LGBT rights advocates disagree saying it will prevent any same-sex couple from entering into any legal contract to provide for their estates or children.



At a protest rally Wednesday night at the Capitol hundreds of gays held rainbow flags and listened as community leaders vowed to challenge the law in the court.



"(The law) clearly states that gay and lesbian people in this state should not feel welcome," Dyana Mason, executive director of Equality Virginia, the state's largest gay rights organization, said at the Richmond rally. "It seeks to strip the only tool that gay and lesbian couples have to protect their families."



Gov. Mark R. Warner, a Democrat, issued a statement condemning the law, which he refused to sign.



"This law raises serious constitutional issues and it places Virginia outside the mainstream of other states when it comes to respecting individual liberty," he said.



Two groups have formed to convince LGBT travelers to boycott the state of Virginia. (story)



www.365gay.com/newscon04/06/063004vaBan.htm

[Gatito Grande]

Absofreakinlutely: Boycott Virginia!!!



GG who will not be attending any Gatito family reunions at the ol' homestead in the vicinity of "Rural Retreat" (real name!) anytime soon Out



*NB: As w/ all boycotts, it's not enough to merely not spend money there . . . you have to tell someone (in charge) that that is what you're doing. When I learn whom is being targetted (by LGBT groups) as such a contact person, I'll let you know here.



Hang in there, Virginia Kittens.

[Diebrock]

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Same-Sex Marriage, Glory Holes & Leathermen Make It To Dictionary



(Toronto, Ontario) As gays and lesbians gain new rights dictionaries are struggling to keep up with changing definitions. The newly published second edition of the Canadian Oxford Dictionary includes a revised definition of the word "marriage" to reflect the existence of same-sex marriage in Canada since June 2003.



The new definition is "the legal or religious union of two people" and makes no mention of "a man and a woman".



"An up-to-date accurate dictionary reflects what words mean," says Katherine Barber, Editor-in-Chief of the dictionary, "and when court rulings in 2003 allowed for same-sex marriage, the traditional sense of the word immediately changed."



Barber has received some criticism for the decision, but stands steadfastly by it. "It is a matter or lexicographical principle," she says. "We would simply be incorrect if we continued to define marriage as being solely between a man and a woman; that is no longer the case in Canada."



The importance of the GLBT community is also reflected in other new additions to the dictionary, the first edition of which was published in 1998. The term "GLBT" itself is new, as is "lesbigay". "Transgender(ed)", which was considered for the first edition, became much more commonly used in the last seven years, and thus made the cut for the second edition. A new meaning was added to the word "pride" to cross-refer specifically to "gay pride", which is also a new entry. The significance of the rainbow symbol is also recognized with an entry for "rainbow flag".



"In addition to our revised definition of marriage, there is a particularly Canadian aspect to our coverage of gay and lesbian vocabulary in that we include the term "two-spirited", used to mean gay or lesbian in the Canadian Aboriginal community," says Barber. She first noticed this word on a City of Toronto bus shelter advertisement promoting tolerance, and on further research decided it deserved to be in the dictionary.



Other gay-related terms in the Second Edition of the Canadian Oxford Dictionary include bareback, bi-curious, civil union, co-parenting, cruisy, gaydar, glory hole, leatherman, lipstick lesbian, and pink triangle.



link

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_________________

Independence is my happiness, and I view things as they are, without regard to place or person; my country is the world, and my religion is to do good.

I've kissed her best friend. I've reached into her best friend's pocket and fished around for keys. And I gave her best friend my number. I must be doing something totally, totally wrong... - TBSOL by Dreams

[dekalog]

Sorry to be a downer after the last one, but Worldwide the battle still rages: www.commondreams.org/head...705-03.htm



or read on:



Published on Monday, July 5, 2004 by Reuters

Gay Persecution Rising Around the World - Book

by Kate Kelland



LONDON - Gay Pride marches are mainstream in some countries and gay politicians, actors and pop stars are out and proud -- but homophobia is growing across the world with increasing numbers of countries making it punishable by death.



A new book published by human rights group Amnesty International says despite widespread acceptance of gays and lesbians in some countries, violent persecution of homosexuals is on the rise and has reached "epidemic" levels in others.



"Lesbian and gay people who form or join organizations, be they political or social, are being violently persecuted in many parts of the world where before they might have been unnoticed," writes the book's British author Vanessa Baird.



She singles out Uganda, Zimbabwe, Jamaica, El Salvador and Latin America in particular, where she says "the targeting and killing of transgender people has become an epidemic on streets."



The book, "Sex, Love and Homophobia," offers an overview of the experiences of gay, lesbian and transgender people around the world and gives a snapshot of their status in various societies today.



One British gay man interviewed describes how he was subjected to "aversion therapy" as a teenager in the 1960s because his mother could not accept her son was gay.



"I was locked up alone in a mental institution for 72 hours with supposedly gay pornography and given drugs to make me vomit and become incontinent," he said. "They said the next part of the treatment was to apply electrodes to my genitals. After three days I begged to be let out."



In the United States, Baird notes an increasing polarization of attitudes. "While San Francisco boasts the largest openly gay community of any city in the world, anti-homosexual movements in Kansas, Ohio and Colorado advocate as a 'Christian duty' the rejection, and in some cases even killing, of gay people."



"And this is not all just a small group of nutters in the mid-West," she told Reuters. "This kind of evangelism is growing, and unfortunately a substantial part of it is homophobic and says homosexuality is a sin or a disease."



Baird's book also focuses on countries where homosexuality is punishable by death -- Iran, Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Mauritania, Sudan, Pakistan, United Arab Emirates, Yemen and northern provinces of Nigeria.



Baird quotes Iran's 1991 Islamic penal law, which states "sodomy is a crime" and "punishment is death if the participants are adults, of sound mind and consenting."



South African Archbishop Desmond Tutu uses a foreword to the book to condemn homophobia as "every bit as unjust as that crime against humanity, apartheid."



"I could not have fought against the discrimination of apartheid and not also fight against the discrimination homosexuals endure," he wrote.



South Africa became the first country in the world in 1996 to include a clause in its constitution to guarantee freedom from discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation.



© Copyright 2004 Reuters Ltd

[Kieli]

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Absofreakinlutely: Boycott Virginia!!!

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How nice that you can do that. We still have to live here, unfortunately. Mark Warner is an idiot and most Virginia gays regret voting for him....he's so weak sister it's pathetic. However, VA has always had this long standing policy of voting Republican no matter how much they disagree with the party's politics at election time.....it's a view I find so insipidly stupid and mindless and very counter productive. *shrug* Honestly? I expected nothing less from a state that has more millionaires per square foot than most other southern states.



I'm getting my passport and applying for my visas now....I have no hope that the US won't roll back to the Stone Age come November.

Time flies by when the Devil drives.
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.

Edited by: Kieli  at: 7/8/04 8:25 pm

[Warduke]

From Yahoo...

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N.J. Governor Resigns, Admits He Is Gay



By JOHN P. McALPIN, Associated Press Writer





TRENTON, N.J. - In a stunning declaration, Gov. James E. McGreevey acknowledged that he had an extramarital affair with another man and announced his resignation Thursday. "My truth is that I am a gay American," he said.



"Shamefully, I engaged in adult consensual affairs with another man, which violates my bonds of matrimony," the married father of two said. "It was wrong, it was foolish, it was inexcusable."



The Democrat said his resignation would be effective Nov. 15.



McGreevey said he would step down because his secret — both his sexuality and his affair — leaves the governor's office vulnerable.



The former suburban mayor took office 2 1/2 years ago, and despite inheriting a $5 billion budget deficit, he steadfastly refused to boost income taxes for most New Jerseyans, instead raising taxes on millionaires, casinos and cigarettes.



But he has been dogged by several scandals involving fund-raising.



Among those caught up in recent scandals were his first chief of staff and former counsel; a top Democratic fund-raiser and former high school classmate; and real estate developer Charles Kushner, McGreevey's biggest campaign contributor, who was charged with trying to thwart a federal campaign-finance investigation by luring a grand jury witness — his own brother-in-law — into a compromising position with a prostitute and sending video and photos to the man's wife.



McGreevey would be the second governor to resign in weeks, following the resignation in June of Connecticut GOP Gov. John Rowland amid corruption investigations and threats of impeachment.



McGreevey rose from suburban mayor to state chief executive by his tenacious pursuit of party politics, maintaining a power base days after he narrowly lost to Republican Christie Whitman in 1997.



McGreevey never truly stopped that campaign until he won in November 2001, beating Republican Bret Schundler by 15 percentage points.



Born in Jersey City, McGreevey graduated from Columbia University in 1978. He earned a law degree from Georgetown University in 1981 and a master's degree in education from Harvard University a year later.



After briefly serving as a county prosecutor, McGreevey became a lobbyist for a pharmaceutical company, then a state government official. While in the Legislature, McGreevey voted for Gov. Jim Florio's $2.8 billion tax hike that prompted a voter rebellion against Democrats.

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Firefox: One Browser To Rule Them All.

[maudmac]

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McGreevey said he would step down because his secret — both his sexuality and his affair — leaves the governor's office vulnerable.

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Um...while I can see that the dishonesty involved in having an affair calls one's moral character (and therefore, possibly one's ability to govern) into question, I fail to see how one's sexuality affects either one's moral character or one's ability to govern. For God's sake, it's 2004, people! He says "it makes little difference that as governor I am gay" and then turns around and says that staying in office with his secrets leaves the office "vulnerable to rumors, false allegations and threats of disclosure." So? Can the cat not come out of the bag without destroying the governor's office? If it makes little difference, it makes little difference. One or the other. Not both.



Never mind all the other men who've whored around from their offices as public officials. I never thought Bill Clinton couldn't be a good president because he did naughty things with Monica Lewinsky. And if Hillary got up to some naughtiness on her own, I say more power to her.



Bless McGreevey's heart that he had to come out under threat of blackmail. Did I mention that it is 2004 now?



I would rather he'd come on out of the closet, publicly named the man who was threatening to blackmail him, hung his head in shame, apologized on the air to his wife and daughter, and then raised his head and said that "I am a gay American" line with pride, followed by a nice moving speech full of defiance and confidence. It shouldn't be horrifying to have a gay governor. Not in 2004, anyway.

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i wasn't sniffing your spicy brains

[Gatito Grande]

Well, talking head Jeff Goldblum on CNN tonight was making the comparison, that he didn't think it was relevent that McGreevey was gay. Comparing it to a het scandal w/ a Kentucky (?) governor a couple of years ago, he thought it came out (ahem) the same either way (i.e., it wasn't just diddling, ala Monica: it was diddling, and putting the diddle-ee on the govt. payroll. Homeland Security no less! ).



Agree, though, that McGreevey made it sound like "it's shameful I'm gay."



GG Regardless, I still feel for his wife, though. From my POV as the maritally *dumped*, I hope they come up w/ a mutually amicable resolution. Out

[Triscuit7]

This is the full text of Governor McGreevy's speech. Like everything in life, it brings up all sorts of "what-ifs". But "what-ifs" are only speculation.... IMHO he's been an ok governor.



Ciao, Melissa



-----

Good afternoon. Throughout my life, I have grappled with my own identity, who I am. As a young child, I often felt ambivalent about myself, in fact, confused.



By virtue of my traditions, and my community, I worked hard

to ensure that I was accepted as part of the traditional

family of America. I married my first wife, Carrie, out of

respect and love. And together, we have a wonderful,

extraordinary daughter. Carrie then chose to return to

British Columbia.



I then had the blessing of marrying Dina, whose love and joy for life has been an incredible source of strength for me. And together, we have the most beautiful daughter.



Yet, from my early days in school, until the present day, I

acknowledged some feelings, a certain sense that separated

me from others. But because of my resolve, and also

thinking that I was doing the right thing, I forced what I

thought was an acceptable reality onto myself, a reality

which is layered and layered with all the, quote, good

things, and all the, quote, right things of typical

adolescent and adult behavior.



Yet, at my most reflective, maybe even spiritual level, there were points in my life when I began to question what an acceptable reality really meant for me. Were there realities from which I was running? Which master was I trying to serve?



I do not believe that God tortures any person simply for its own sake. I believe that God enables all things to work for the greater good. And this, the 47th year of my life, is arguably too late to have this discussion. But it is here, and it is now.



At a point in every person's life, one has to look deeply into the mirror of one's soul and decide one's unique truth in the world, not as we may want to see it or hope to see it, but as it is.



And so my truth is that I am a gay American. And I am blessed to live in the greatest nation with the tradition of civil liberties, the greatest tradition of civil liberties in the world, in a country which provides so much to its people.



Yet because of the pain and suffering and anguish that I have caused to my beloved family, my parents, my wife, my friends, I would almost rather have this moment pass. For

this is an intensely personal decision, and not one typically for the public domain.



Yet, it cannot and should not pass. I am also here today

because, shamefully, I engaged in adult consensual affair

with another man, which violates my bonds of matrimony. It

was wrong. It was foolish. It was inexcusable. And for this, I ask the forgiveness and the grace of my wife. She has been extraordinary throughout this ordeal, and I am blessed by virtue of her love and strength.



I realize the fact of this affair and my own sexuality if kept secret leaves me, and most importantly the governor's office, vulnerable to rumors, false allegations and threats of disclosure. So I am removing these threats by telling you directly about my sexuality.



Let me be clear, I accept total and full responsibility for my actions. However, I'm required to do now, to do what is right to correct the consequences of my actions and to be truthful to my loved ones, to my friends and my family and also to myself.



It makes little difference that as governor I am gay. In fact, having the ability to truthfully set forth my identity might have enabled me to be more forthright in fulfilling and discharging my constitutional obligations.



Given the circumstances surrounding the affair and its likely impact upon my family and my ability to govern, I have decided the right course of action is to resign. To facilitate a responsible transition, my resignation will be effective on November 15th of this year.



I'm very proud of the things we have accomplished during my

administration. And I want to thank humbly the citizens of the state of New Jersey for the privilege to govern. Thank you.

******************



Do something totally irrational and let the enemy think himself to death. (Pyanfar Chanur)

[Hemiola]

Yet this affair continues to get, as Lewis Carroll put it, "curiouser and curiouser"....



The "other man" involved in this business, a certain Golan Cipel, now claims two things:

1. That he is not gay.

2. That he was, in fact, "sexually harassed" by McGreevey.

He is backing up claim no.2 with a lawsuit.



But the oddness doesn't stop there. One David Twersky, a newspaper editor who claims to be acquainted with both parties, has stated that he knew of the affair two years ago, and warned both Cipel and McGreevey that this would have dire consequences for both of them, but that both men ignored him.



For McGreevey's part, one of McGreevey's fellow legislators stated in an interview that "the Jim McGreevey I know" had two characteristics:

1. boundless ambition

2. a total lack of judgement

This would seem to go a long way toward explaining McGreevey's behavior.



As for Cipel, one can only speculate. Israeli society has strong biases against male homosexuality (for both religious and "machismo" reasons--it is worth remembering that Israel, being under constant threat, is a highly militarized society), so it is not surprising that Cipel would deny being gay. However, I think the "harassment" claims may be to cover the fact that he was completely unqualified to fill the government position that McGreevey had appointed him to.



This affair just seems to get more and more sordid....

[skittles]

From the NYTimes (registration required)



When the Computer Opens the Closet



By Jane Gross, NYTimes

August 22, 2004



JENNIFER's infant son was tucked in for the night and her husband was at work when she logged onto her home computer in Port Huron, Mich., looking for the forgotten name of a travel Web site she had used earlier in the day.



A few simple keystrokes, nothing geeky, took her to the history box on the Internet browser, a listing of recently visited Web sites. What she found there — 30 gay pornography sites and chat rooms — astounded her. But it also solved a mystery: why marriage to her childhood sweetheart had been so unsatisfying.



Jennifer, now 29, had never suspected that her husband was gay. But suddenly that seemed an inescapable conclusion. She remembers a dizzying rush of emotion and then feeling numb. In the darkened room, lighted only by the computer screen, she got down to business, opening each and every Web site and taking copious notes for the confrontation that would follow.



The sheer volume of what she had found was convincing, although circumstantial. "There was no concrete evidence he had cheated; he could have been curious or whatever," Jennifer said. But when they talked later, her husband confessed to having a series of one-night stands with men from the time he was 16, she said.



Jennifer doubts he would have come clean on his own, at least not so quickly. "Had it not been for what I found on the computer, I might still be in my unhappy marriage," she said. (Her husband confirmed her account but asked that their last names not be used to protect his identity.)



Once women like Jennifer might have spent decades in the limbo of ignorance or denial, while their husbands explored their sexual orientation and lived furtive double lives. But in the age of the Internet, the blinders can be yanked off with the flick of a finger. Mental health professionals and matrimonial lawyers say that many marriages, involving both heterosexuals and homosexuals, are collapsing under the weight of documentary evidence left behind on computers, just as computer records are increasingly tripping up business leaders, employees and others who forget that these are communications not easily denied.



A condom found in a gym bag can be explained away relatively easily: the guy in the next locker must have dropped it. But an e-mail discussing condom use for the purposes of safe sex is far more difficult to justify. That means, counselors and lawyers say, that for the growing numbers of spouses conducting clandestine lives online, the risk of disclosure is higher than ever before.



"The age of privacy is over and with it the ability to sustain denial," said Dr. Sheenah Hankin, a psychotherapist in New York City. "Anyone can search the Internet and discover a lot about their spouse."



Denial has historically been easier to sustain in marriages involving a closeted gay spouse, marriage counselors and therapists say, because of the ambiguities of sexual orientation. More often than not, these experts say, the gay partner has an inkling before marriage but is determined to make a go of what he or she believes society considers a "normal" life.



And more often than not, these experts explain, man and wife truly love each other, enough that a fraction of these marriages never break up because the spouses redesign the relationship and live as if friends or siblings.



Ten days ago, Gov. James E. McGreevey of New Jersey and Dina Matos McGreevey, stood before a national television audience as he revealed that he is gay. It remains unclear how long Mrs. McGreevey has known that her husband of four years is gay, although a report in The Star-Ledger of Newark this week quoted a friend of hers, Lori JFK, as saying that she learned only three days before his speech.



Mrs. McGreevey's indecipherable half smile touched a nerve among others who have had similar experiences.



Many of them have flocked to the Web site of the Straight Spouse Network, http://www.ssnetwk.org, a support group for people whose spouses turn out to be gay or lesbian.



The Web site has been a very popular place since Mr. McGreevey's disclosure. On a normal day, according to Amity Pierce Buxton, the network's 75-year-old founder, about 300 people visit the site, which has a public forum and several subscriber-only chat rooms. In the five days after the McGreevey press conference, the daily traffic reached 1,187.



Dr. Buxton, who was married for 25 years to a gay man, began organizing face-to-face support groups for straight spouses in the late 1980's. There are now 65 around the country, and five overseas in addition to the online forums and chat rooms. Dr. Buxton, who has a doctorate in education, wrote the self-help bible on the subject, "The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families" (John Wiley & Sons, 1991).



That book, revised in 1994, tells the stories of 18 couples. In none of these marriages, Dr. Buxton said, nor in her own, was a computer a tool of discovery. Similarly, none of the gay men or lesbians in the marriages she studied had explored their sexuality on the Web, which was then in its infancy, or used it as a way to meet others for homosexual encounters.



"Men back in our day didn't do it that way," Dr. Buxton said. "They went to bars and bathhouses and could always make excuses about where they were."



Now documentary evidence is readily available, particularly in marriages where the wife is straight and the husband gay. The gender divide is apparent to counselors who have treated such couples; to support group leaders; and in the postings on the straight spouse network. According to these accounts, typically it is gay men who spend hours on the computer and are interested in online pornography. It is rarely lesbians.



Married women who acknowledge that they are lesbians generally tell their husbands, often with painful abruptness but without subterfuge, then quickly exit the marriage, according to Dr. Buxton's research, which has put her in touch with 1,000 men and women. Married men who acknowledge that they are gay, Dr. Buxton's research shows, often hunker down in the marriage, lying to keep it together and only admitting what's going on if confronted.



The digital clues run the gamut. Take Carolyn of Chevy Chase, Md., who divorced her husband in May, after a 33-year marriage. (Her full name is not used because her husband is in Bolivia and could not be reached.) Carolyn, 56, said she was outside smoking a cigarette when, through a window, she saw her husband viewing gay pornography online. He told her it was a pop-up ad. But her "ah ha" moment came when she found a print-out of an e-mail arranging a meeting with a man, obvious even to the technologically challenged.



Mary, a harpist in New Jersey, noticed her husband rising earlier than usual to use the computer while the rest of the household slept. One insomniac dawn she wandered into the kitchen at 5 and heard the sounds of arriving instant messages from the adjacent family room. Her husband told her he was in a sports chat room and had made a comment that struck a nerve.



But when the same thing happened again, she registered his guilty demeanor. She realized how often he all but body-blocked her when she approached his computer. One morning, she discovered on his screen an e-mail from another married gay man, arranging a first meeting. Before she heard his tread on the stair, she had read two more messages, from different men setting up dates.



The next time her husband claimed to be in the sports chat room, Mary countered with "here's what I know and here's how I know it." He haltingly acknowledged the obvious, but he still has not told many relatives and friends. (Thus her request, in deference to his privacy, that her last name not be used.) Mary chose the occasion of Mr. McGreevey's confession to tell her teenage children that their father is gay. It turned out that they already knew, she says.



Sometimes, it is teenage children who make the discovery. Carol Silverman, of Scarsdale, N.Y., said that when her 27-year marriage collapsed six years ago, it was her daughter, then 14, who found the key document: a personal profile, in rich anatomical detail, that her father had posted on a gay dating site. (Ms. Silverman uses her maiden name and said she does not know her husband's whereabouts.)



Father and daughter shared a computer in their home. The girl had already seen many of his postings, among them the ad "Married gay man looking for Asian partner" — that included telltale physical details.



Some women unfamiliar with computers seek instruction so they can snoop. Typical is a recent posting on the Web site of the Straight Spouse Network. "How do you find porn, information etc. on your computer?" asked a woman whose screen name is Pam.



A detailed answer came quickly from "David," who said he was a straight man married to a lesbian. He directed her to hit "Ctrl-H" on a Microsoft Explorer browser for a pop-up window of Web sites previously visited. "Some stuff will be obviously benign," David wrote. But he added, "If there's any http://www.gaynakedguys.com or http://www.hotstuddating.com kind of stuff, well it's pretty clear."



David expressed concern that Pam might be better off not opening what she found. Still, he told her that certain sites would "remember" her husband's user name and password and display them. She could also find clues on a cellphone, in the histories of calls made, received or missed.



"Kathy" posted a question about software that will override the deletion of history from a browser. "Trini" suggested Kidsafe by Webroot. "I find it incredibly incriminating that the Web history is erased," "JJ" wrote. With these early postings, Pam, David, Trini, Kathy and JJ are using the Internet to find a like-minded community, as their mates had done. The irony does not escape those who have found solace or suggestions online.



Jennifer said that she found a set of new friends there, people who would understand why it took her two years, and one failed attempt at reconciliation, to end her marriage. A year ago, Jennifer filed for divorce. Counseling from her pastor was helpful. But she needed more support. A Google search led her to the Straight Spouse Network. The men and women she met there "saved my sanity," Jennifer said.



Technology brought her full circle. After a lengthy telephone interview with this reporter, Jennifer sent an e-mail postscript, summarizing the best and the worst of the Internet and casting a clear ballot.



"This computer has been my lifeline," she wrote. "Yay for computers!"



Alex Kuczynski contributed reporting for this article. (end)

skittles

Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.

[Kieli]

Looks like Big Brother is no longer snooping in your closet but wholesale rummaging around....although, in hindsight, I still maintain that upfront honesty is best for all involved. It's bad enough the government gives you no privacy, but don't give your spouse a reason not to give you yours. If you have a problem, work on it, talk it out but for heaven's sake, cheating just makes it tough for everyone involved. This article makes it sound like only gays are involved in the sort of behaviour they mention...was anyone else disturbed by the implications?

Time flies by when the Devil drives.
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.

[tybee317]

I cannot figure out how to copy and paste but anyway regarding Kieli statement about oxytocin being available in Pill or IV.



Actually oxytocin is a naturally occurring hormone in females. However, it is used only under direct medical supervision for induction of labor and to control post-partum bleeding. It is available in IM (Intramuscular injection) or IV form, I'm not aware of PO(pill). Also, you need a crash cart nearby when using this, especially in the post-partum bleeding scenario. It does stimulate milk ejection by the breast, but ahem... since it is naturally occurring, release of the hormone can effected by stimulating the breasts.

[Kieli]

I did not address the fact that oxytocin production naturally occurs in women b/c I felt that was obvious. For women who lack the proper oxytocin production mechanism which would cause them to underproduce or to not produce oxytocin at all (underproduction of such anterior pituitary gland hormones like oxytocin is called parahypopituitarism), using the pill or IV forms of the hormone would best serve their needs.

So, tybee, I was not ignorant of the fact but chose not to overstate the obvious You might want to figure out that copy and paste function too .



ETA: I also didn't know that orgasms produce a large amount of oxytocin in women! This was quite an interesting article...definitely worth reading through (The Medical Need for Orgasms).

Time flies by when the Devil drives.
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.

Edited by: Kieli at: 8/21/04 8:39 pm

[tybee317]

Kieli,



While I can appreciate your knowledge of pathophysiology, I was only trying to explain the material in terms that most people can understand, without being patronizing. I don't assume that everyone has some vast knowledge of hormones and where they come from and what they do! Heck, hormones are a fairly complex subject.



did not mean to offend anyone!

[Kieli]

As was I, which was my intent when I first answered the posters question as to whether or not the hormone itself could be induced into her body in another form. The field of endocrinology is indeed very complex...that was one of the reasons I didn't feel the need to go into great detail. It was a simple question, I gave a simple answer. I had made the assumption that her doctor had already informed her of certain things. Perhaps that assumption was in error; I was not informed of my mistake. Apparently you assumed that I didn't have knowledge of the subject. I'm no expert, to be sure. But I do have some experience and I felt I answered the question for the poster adequately enough. I was offended but I now realise that your intentions were not to do so.

Time flies by when the Devil drives.
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.

[Gatito Grande]

It's difficult to believe that so many of these closet-cases can be so sloppy w/ the computer. My ex told me one time about checking the "history" of the Web-browser on his office computer, on which he found a ton of gay porn sites.



GG His co-worker/computer-sharer? A Roman Catholic priest of course! Out



Of course, my ex would have to have been very diligent to remove from the history all the straight porn sites of his own using . . .

[Kieli]

Honestly? I don't think very many of these "closet cases" are very computer savvy. This is probably the first time they've owned a computer for whatever reason and haven't quite picked up on how to do the basics like clearing the cache on their browser and the URL history every so often...or they really do believe their spouses, co-workers, etc, aren't very savvy in turn. Another possibility is that they really do think that they'll never get caught...which is quite stupid and very sloppy. I can't begin to tell you how many residents at our hospital read porn while they're signing off on charts and orders. And on public nursing station terminals, no less! Very very sloppy and very poor judgement on their part...especially since their user names always show up in the history of who was logged onto the computer last and their own profiles with time stamps.

Time flies by when the Devil drives.
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.

[tkheaven]

I was just recently informed for those in/familiar with the Hudson County area of NJ:



FIRST Hudson County Gay Pride Flag raising ceremony on Thursday, August 26th at 5:30 PM at the Court House on Newark Avenue in Jersey City.



Supposedly there have been at least 3 people in the county that have come out since Mcgreevey's outing.

Tk's new and improved "GrrArgg"...Crazy? Crazy?? I do not talk to myself...it's called thinking aloud...

---

Tara ate her, devoured her from beneath. -The Edge of Silence giving new meaning to season seven's catch phrase.

bulldog: (gesturing to tk)"Can she get a Sloe Comfortable Screw Against the Wall?" female bartender: (laughing)"Honey, you're living in a fantasy world."

[dekalog]

Two female judges who really are part of the reason for marriage rights in Ontario were nominated to the Canadian Supreme Court. It's fabulous news and you would be hard pressed to find two more qualified people.



www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs...8793972154



Only good things can happen with these two on the bench. Truly a happy day. A better day will be when they get past all the 'Conservative' good ole boys.

[kpmuse]

Please pass this info along to family, friends, co-workers, neighbors.



Gays and Lesbians to Withhold $1.4 Billion From US Economy During October 8 Economic Boycott



ATLANTA, Aug. 25 /PRNewswire/ -- The U.S. lesbian and gay population spends an average of $1.4 billion each day, totaling $500 billion a year, and Boycott For Equality is organizing a one-day nationwide economic "walkout" on October 8, 2004 to make that point clear.



The one-day event is designed to highlight the contribution that lesbians and gays make to the domestic economy and tax base, at the same time they are denied the full legal protections and civil liberties afforded heterosexual Americans.



"We want to remind those in our nation who don't always see the impact of our community in terms of dollars and cents that we do have real market power," said Boycott for Equality Co-Founder Dale Duncan. "We were inspired by Don't Amend Founder Robin Tyler's famous quip, `If being gay is a disease, let's all call in sick to work' and decided to put those words into action."



Up to twenty-seven million Americans identify as being primarily lesbian or gay, yet no Federal law provides protection from discrimination in the workplace and many State and Federal laws prohibit access to the rights and responsibilities of marriage.



According to the Washington D.C.-based public relations firm Witeck-Combs Communications, the US Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender (GLBT) population contributed an estimated $500 billion to the U.S. marketplace in 2003, while The University of Georgia's Selig Center at the Terry College of Business estimates that the African-American, Hispanic, Asian and Native- American markets contribute $688 billion, $653 billion, $344 billion, and $45 billion respectively.



"This event brings into focus the economic contribution of GLBT citizens," said Duncan. "And people understand money. The response so far has been tremendous."



Some major groups that have endorsed or encouraged Boycott for Equality Day include the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Don't Amend: The Equality Campaign, The Advocate magazine, Civil Marriage US, DC Diversity, Equality Illinois and Wyoming Equality.



Additionally, comic Margaret Cho's web site, http://www.loveisloveislove.com, has listed Boycott For Equality Day as one of the "12 Things You Can Do" to promote gay and lesbian equality.



October 8 falls on a Friday, and the following Monday is National Coming Out Day, Duncan explained. "It seemed like a great time to make our presence felt."



Boycott For Equality is an Atlanta-based non-profit formed to promote the boycott, scheduled this year for October 8. For that day, GLBT Americans and their straight allies are encouraged to withdraw from the economy in three specific areas:



1) Do not purchase anything. Do not generate sales tax or business



revenue.



2) Don't work. Take the day off - do not generate payroll taxes, income



taxes or add to the economy.



3) Do not use cell phones. Dropping out of the communication network is away to measure the impact of your presence.



For more information, visit http://www.boycottforequality.org



Contact:



Dale Duncan (757) 257-6215



dsd@boycottforequality.org



This release was issued through eReleases(TM). For more information, visit http://www.ereleases.com.


SOURCE Boycott For Equality



CO: Boycott For Equality



ST: Georgia



SU: NPT



Web site: http://www.boycottforequality.org



aolsvc.news.aol.com/business/article.adp?id=20040825074209990004

[Warduke]

I read this over at IMDb...

Quote:

---

Sarandon Takes On Gay Rights in New TV Ad



Susan Sarandon is standing up for gay rights in a series of new TV commercials for steering group Gays & Lesbians Against Defamation (GLAAD). The ads show the actress sitting on a bar stool, pulling petals from a flower while repeating the mantra, "He loves me, he loves me not" before asking, "Do you really care if he loves me? Probably not. I mean who I love doesn't really effect you, right?" She goes on, "What if I were gay and it was, 'She loves me...' Does that effect you anymore than, 'He loves me..?' Probably not. Straight, gay or lesbian, love is love is love." The advertisement encourages people to visit http://WWW.Glaad.Org to seek information about gay rights issues.

---

---

Firefox: One Browser To Rule Them All.

[Gatito Grande]

Quote:

---

She goes on, "What if I were gay and it was, 'She loves me...'

---

{Remembering The Hunger, enjoys the image . . . }



Speaking of C-SPAN (um, as Holley just was on the Politics Thread), I just saw BillC (the former Prez) give a really great address at Riverside Church (in NYC: Hillary was in the front row) this morning. He defended gay rights about umpteen times, inc. gay marriage.



I couldn't help noticing though: wasn't this the same guy who signed the Defense of Marriage Act into law? Come to think of it, I don't think I remember hearing Bill mention "gay rights" once in his recent speech at the DNC. Why is it only in nice, safe, progressive ghettoes like Riverside (which, if you don't know Riverside, it is ) that we suddenly become the poster-boys/grrlz of our friends in high places (or, only when they're not in/running for high places?)



Wouldn't it be great to hear Kerry and Edwards (or even Hillary) say "Of course I'm for gay marriage: don't gays and lesbians pay taxes to? Why shouldn't they get the exact same marital benefits---inc. the label 'marriage'---as any other American? Discrimination against gays is Just Plain EVIL! (and completely 'Un-American')"



GG Must go to bed soon, as I'm obviously becoming delusional Out

[WebWarlock]

Convention coverage...



www.chicagotribune.com/ne...gays.story

Quote:

---

Gay Republicans confront party agenda



By Dawn Turner Trice

Tribune staff reporter

Published August 30, 2004, 7:35 PM CDT



NEW YORK -- Being gay and a Republican sometimes can be difficult to reconcile.



But members of the Log Cabin Republicans, the GOP's most influential gay and lesbian political organization, said that while they believe in the Republican Party's core philosophy — limited government, lower taxes, the idea of rugged individualism — they will no longer sit silently and let their party's agenda be dictated by archconservatives opposing equal rights for gays.



"You find out very quickly in Washington, D.C., and in American politics that if you remain silent while people are kicking you in the stomach, you become completely irrelevant," Log Cabin executive director Patrick Guerriero said Monday.



He spoke during a news conference launching a limited-run advertising spot the organization called their opening salvo in a fight for the future of the Republican Party.



The television advertisement, which will appear only in the New York market during the convention, began running Monday, the same day the Republican Party approved its platform supporting a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage and condemning the recognition of civil unions and domestic partnerships.



In February, President Bush announced his support for the marriage amendment.



Both incidents have left Log Cabin members feeling betrayed by the president they worked hard to elect in 2000 and thinking twice about whether to give him their vote in a November election that could end up in a dead heat.



Guerriero said this was a watershed moment for the party as more moderate Republicans fight for control of the party with the religious right and social conservatives pursuing what he called a "vicious and mean-spirited" agenda that marginalizes gays and lesbians.



"In 2000, over a million gays and lesbians supported the president, including over 45,000 in Florida alone," said Guerriero. "What kind of message is this campaign strategy, support for a constitutional amendment and the platform, sending to those voters? I would say that they have been taken for granted."



The marriage amendment was defeated in the Senate last month.



Guerriero said the battle is bigger than one platform, one convention and one president. "This is a fight for the heart and soul of the Republican Party."



Log Cabin members said the GOP has to choose whether it's going to be the party of more social moderates like former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, New York Gov. George Pataki and California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, or of the party's more social conservatives such as former GOP presidential candidate Gary Bauer, the Rev. Jerry Falwell and Sen. Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania.



Guerriero said that over the next five to 10 years, younger and more moderate Republicans will dominate the party, and the sentiments of the radical right will be a thing of the past. He said that Log Cabin's opposition to the platform and the amendment is just an example of the group moving ahead of the curve.



The Log Cabin advertisement, which opens with a clip of Ronald Reagan saying "I hope (history) will record that I appealed to your best hopes, not your worst fears," is aimed at shoring up support among delegates and will run over the next three days in New York.



Earlier this year, within days of Bush endorsing the marriage amendment, Log Cabin launched a $1 million campaign opposing it.



The television advertisement featured Dick Cheney speaking during the vice presidential candidates' debate in 2000 and forcefully defending people's rights "to enter into any kind of relationship they want," and the ad noted that the legality of those relationships is regulated by states.



Last week, the vice president echoed those remarks while campaigning at a town hall meeting in Davenport, Iowa. Making it clear that the president sets policy for the administration, Cheney once again acknowledged that he and his wife have a gay daughter, Mary Cheney, "so it's an issue our family is very familiar with."



"I think it's difficult to have such a powerful and heartfelt statement made and then within 24 hours, the re-election committee allows this platform to be hijacked by the radical right," said Guerriero.



Christopher Barron, political director of the Log Cabin Republicans, said that although the party feels discomfited at times, he believes most members aren't considering becoming Democrats.



"This is our party and we're not leaving," Barron said last week when the draft platform was distributed to delegates. "I thoroughly plan on having me in this party and the Gary Bauers and Jerry Falwells out. I would tell them to start packing their bags and they can join Pat Buchanan in a different party."



Other gay Republicans attending a Sunday afternoon event hosted by Log Cabin and highlighting "inclusive" Republican leaders said they're focusing on the totality of the president's record and not just a single issue.



"But we're hugely disappointed and very offended that they're including such ridiculous language in the platform," said Carleh Ward, of Washington, D.C., who married her partner in Canada last year.



"When the president came out in favor of the marriage amendment, we felt like not attending the convention," said Ward, whose partner is an alternate delegate. "But it's important to put a face on the abstract. It's much harder for somebody to discriminate against you when they look you in the eye."



The organization's 25-member board of directors will decide after the convention whether to endorse the president or withhold any endorsement, the only two options under consideration.



Bill Brownson, chairman of the board of directors, said recent events have placed the endorsement in jeopardy.



Founded in 1978 to oppose a California ballot initiative seeking to ban gay teachers, Log Cabin has withheld an endorsement only once.



That was in 1992 when it declined to endorse George H.W. Bush for president because he did not denounce the anti-gay rhetoric at the GOP national convention in Houston.



Guerriero said the second Bush ran a compassionate and inclusive campaign in 2000, staying the course for the first two years of his presidency.



Over the last two years, Guerriero said, Bush's advisers have been concerned about attending to the needs of the party's base, which has caused a shift in the administration's policy toward gays.



"But I think it has backfired," said Guerriero. "If it was such a great campaign strategy, why isn't Rick Santorum the keynote speaker this evening" instead of the lineup of more moderate Republicans?



"Why aren't they having this celebration with Pat Buchanan re-registering as a Republican?"



(c) 2004, Chicago Tribune.

---

I think it is brilliant using Regan's own words like that.



Warlock

-----

Web Warlock

Coming Soon to The Other Side, The Netbook of Shadows: A Book of Spells for d20 Witches

Talent on loan from Cthulhu

[Gatito Grande]

This ain't news (courts in MI are dominated by Republican bozos), but it sucks all the same.

Quote:

---

Court Allows Michigan Vote on Gay Marriage Ban



A Michigan state appeals court ruled today that the proposed constitutional amendment seeking to ban same-sex marriage, civil unions, and domestic partnerships should go before voters on the November 2 ballot.



Supporters of the amendment had filed suit earlier this week seeking to get the amendment on the ballot after the State Board of Canvassers deadlocked on certification of the ballot initiative. The board's two Republican members voted to certify the amendment, while the two Democratic members voted not to certify it based on concerns over the wording of the amendment.



Under state law, the board is tasked with certifying proposed initiatives, including ensure wording of the initiatives meet standards. The Democratic board members felt the amendment was misleading, as it did not make clear that the amendment would ban civil unions and domestic partnerships as well as same-sex marriages.



The appeals court today ruled that the board had overstepped its authority by objecting on the basis of meaning, rather than following strict guidelines on ballot language.



Posted on: September 03, 2004, 01:57 PM EDT

---

www.gayapolis.com/news/ar...?artid=432



GG So I'll be GOTVing this fall for Kerry/Edwards *and* to defeat this f*cked-up discriminatory bullsh*t! Out



Meanwhile today, I've also been reading rumors that the Episcopal Church is about to get kicked out of the Anglican Communion, because---guess why?---of us queers. Could we PLEASE have some good news for a change?

[sheila wt]

I didn't know that...

Quote:

---

The Brazilian National Immigration Council has begun to recognize same-sex couples for the effect of conceding visas to Brazil. By means of Administrative Resolution #3 of December 3, 2003, as published by the Official Diary of the Union on December 12, 2003, any couple, regardless the partners’ sex, being one of them a Brazilian citizen, may require a temporary visa, a permanent one, or even the definitive permanence in the country, as long as they prove to be living in stable partnership.

---

I'm proud of my country.



I just wish a miracle happened and the US decided to adopt similar laws. At least, I wouldn't be worried every single day thinking what I am going to do to stay here with my partner after I graduate next year...



It's *so* not fair.

--------------------------
"She had tasted Willow on her tongue, and she had worn Willow on her skin. There wasn't a shower in the world that could have washed that away." (Terra Firma, by Tulipp)

[Warduke]

From Yahoo...

Quote:

---

Gay Republican Group Won't Endorse Bush



NEW YORK (Reuters) - Leaders of the largest group for gay men and lesbians in the Republican Party voted overwhelmingly against endorsing President Bush for re-election because he favors a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, The New York Times said on Wednesday.



The board of the Log Cabin Republicans voted 22-2 on Tuesday night against endorsing Bush, the newspaper said, citing a spokesman for the group.



Log Cabin in 2000 endorsed Bush against Democrat Al Gore, and in 1996 endorsed Republican Bob Dole against incumbent Democrat Bill Clinton.



The group in February criticized Bush for supporting the amendment. "Writing discrimination into our Constitution violates conservative and Republican principles," Executive Director Patrick Guerriero said at the time. "This amendment would not strengthen marriage -- it would weaken our nation."



A call to the group was not immediately returned.



Log Cabin last month supported statements by Vice President Dick Cheney, who has a lesbian daughter, that an amendment banning same-sex marriages is unnecessary.



Cheney said he believes individual U.S. states should decide whether to sanction such marriages, but accepted Bush's decision to pursue a ban as administration policy.



The group has also criticized what it calls "flip-flops" by John Kerry, the Democratic presidential nominee, for statements that he opposes same-sex marriages but also opposes amending the Constitution to ban it.



Log Cabin, however, has supported Republican positions on what it has called "issues that bring us together: lower taxes, strong national defense, personal responsibility and a commitment to individual liberty."



About 1 million gay men and lesbians voted for Bush in 2000, Log Cabin has said.

---

---

Firefox: One Browser To Rule Them All.

[Gatito Grande]

"About 1 million gay men and lesbians voted for Bush in 2000, Log Cabin has said."



With the (logical) possible exception of Mary Cheney, that's about 999,999 too many.



GG Hope they all come to their senses . . . and moreover, hopefully in swing states! Out



* And also Michael Deaver? (FYI, that's late Prez Ronnie Reagan's former chief-of-staff, who is so screamingly gay, I can't believe it was *never* publicly commented on. Nancy was---and I believe still is---ever-so-much his hag )

[sam7777]

Maybe they finally figured out that tax cuts won't help them when they can't share their wealth with their partner in marraige for now and then later in civil unions and finally through any legal documents if Bush and his cronies have their way.

_____________________

I still see dead lesbian cliches