The Crappy Feelings Thread (HOTLINES in first post)

[Sapphire eyes]

I don't wish any harm to anyone but I wish my stepdad would stop treating me the way he does and the way he treats my mum too. I wish that he could just be blown away on a cloud and never come back.

[Auriam]

I resart smoking !
(julia don't hurt me)

[Sapphire eyes]

Feeling even crappier...........

[Belli Bear]

okay soooo *takes a breath*

Its my last week of uni and I have two major's due at the end of the day (which is in about 4hrs) haaaa... well actually, one of them was due over two weeks ago but thanks to my slack tutor, a convenient bout of food posioning and my brilliant negotiation skills, I got an extention.

To add to the grueling 4+ hours ahead of me, I despise both of these subjects and am changing courses next year anyway, so it really doesn't matter what marks I get. Which leads me into problem 3..4? whatever! I'm a perfectionist when it comes to things I hand in for grading, especially at university level. So juggling my depression at having wasted a year of my life doing something my mother forced on me, bordem at the resounding BOLLOCKS that is these essays and absolute self-looooothing at the fact that I've procrastinated until today to start/finish them....I'm feeling a bit crappy today >.<

-bell XxX

[Sapphire eyes]

Got really really bad chest pains and am short of breath. :(
Damn stress!

[umgaynow]

I really hate not being able to sleep cuz I'm in too much pain to get comfortable...stupid doctors...stop dragging your asses and figure out who's gonna treat me so I can get a refill on my damned pain meds...

plus my pjs are all sweaty now from tossing and turning so I'm gonna have to change

[littlewicca]

Well, it is supposed to be happy friday, but..

My neck is hurting me, and I dont know why and there is no place to go on the trip I wanted to.

[Sapphire eyes]

I found out when I have to go to hospital today and I so don't want to go. Stupid car crash, it wasn't even my fault and yet I am the one that suffers because of it. :(
its not just the hospital things but the on-going pain that I have had since the crash, a fractured spine and a crushed thing in my spine and whiplash, headaches, sleep patterns going wonky, muscle wasting in the knee, hip pain, neck problems and now I have to spend three weeks in hospital and I honestly don;t know how to cope with it. The hospital is about a 9 hour drive from my family and friends plus no phones or computers obviously. I have my good days and my bad days but I don't even know if I will be able to do the exercises and things they set me because I will be putting my body through alot. I just know I am going to get so depressed, its like quicksand. I feel like I want to cry to let it all out but I just cant because if I cry now all the crash issues will keep on coming back. I wish I had never got in that car and I wish that my brother had driven moire carefully. He was driving insane and thought it was "funny" when will he realise what he has done? I don't know if I can ever forgive him he doesn't care.

[kisstheviolets]

i listened to the remaining saved voicemail messages i have from the girl and it's totally had me in a mopey mood all day. i just don't understand how someone who feels one way can totally cut themselves off from that because it's not convenient. i just don't get it.

[Willowtree252]

I pinched a nerve in my neck and shoulder I am in great pain

[umgaynow]

tonight is the last night until Thursday night that I won't have to bake anything

[Sn0wflak3]

I pinched a nerve in my neck and shoulder I am in great pain

Me too. am doped up on meds

.. Love f*cking hurts so bad. I've been hurt before, but not like this. I don't even know who i am anymore.

[Floyd]

Failed. Again. I'm so fucking useless.]

[Sn0wflak3]

I'm too scared to go to sleep. My muscles from my neck downwards are rapidly becoming very stiff for no reason. It feels like the day after i've done a 4hr workout n not cooled down properly. My chest feels like i did cross country run in the winter. Swallowing feels weird. I'm worried that it's gona get worse and i won't be able to get up in the morning.

[Yours]

God I wish I had a job

[littlewicca]

im tired and my eyes hurt and

[Sn0wflak3]

12 hours of being f*cking poked and prodded.. a waste of an entire day's uni work.. "It's probably just a viral infection" .. oh yeah, and we can't explain the complaints you came in with in the 1st place.. rest and fluids.

...useless piece of ... grr.

ps Spinal Tap.. NOT FUN.

[DreamLover]

After the last hospital visit they thought that they fixed my dads heart, that all was fine. Today he got the results back and every hopefull meaning dissapeard. It was a temp. fix it returned and now they can't even help him anymore. It's so fucked up right now.

[umgaynow]

urp...I think I'm retaining turkey

[kisstheviolets]

last night i went out to a club, had a bit much to drink, and texted "the girl" with some lame proclamation about how much i miss her and also wished her a happy thanksgiving. keep in mind i sent her an email a week and a half ago telling her i loved her but couldn't be in her life on some part-time basis if she wasn't willing to give us a real shot. she never responded. so there has been no contact between us in that time, and then i send this message. and i never hear back from her. no acknowledgement. no happy turkey day. not even a "fuck off". i obsessed about this all day and saw her online tonight and as the result of some temporary lapse in sanity which i will blame on turkey and pie, i IMd her. she responded with nothing but monosyllabic messages and then was like "well have a goodnight. bye."

so for the first time tonight i got angry about the situation. like really angry. i've made excuses for her and the games she plays. i've chalked it up to her age, inexperience, intimacy issues, etc. but when it comes down to it, she's an opportunistic bitch and i totally fell for it. so while i may be an idiot, i find comfort in the fact that i'm not a souless twat like her.

and now i'm off to have a cry or two about it and then be done with it hopefully.

[littlewicca]

Im sorry..

And my crappy is that my back hurts and that I miss my friends to much and will all next week. I hadnt seen my friends that lives near my house for more than that and Im cool with it but when it is about my best friends here, no I cant..

Other thing, read rant..

[JujuDeRoussie]

Not only does MSN messenger not work, but it makes my whole internet thing crash. Grrrr
And great, the mother just burn her hand... Too much porto made her forget to put on gloves before taking something in the working over!

[Miss Elly]

Those stupid parents are still spreading rumors about Kelly, Rachel and I. It's a long story, but to make it short:

Last year I had a girlfriend named Kelly and a friend, Rachel. Anyway last school year we had a trip for the end of the year. The school went to a hotel with a water park. In the late afternoon there was a party going on at the hotel next to the one we were at. So all three of us decided to take a walk around the hotel, I guess at one point we ventured off into the property of the other hotel. We didn't really notice until a security came and told us where we actually were. When we left we went to tell our teacher about it, just cause it seemed like the right thing to do. The rest of the night we were talking, until about 9:00 we left the room. We didn't think it would be a big deal, but it was. The parents got pissed at us and we tried to tell them sorry but they just wouldn't listen. They started to spread rumors about us.



Ok so this is 7 months after that happened and they're still saying all that crap about us. They're even telling the new students who are only in like, 6th grade. They say that we went to that party at the other hotel, got drunk and smoked. They also say that me and Kelly had sex in the shower while Rachel watched us from the side.



I like every single student this year (there's only 23 students). I hate the idea that they might think of my as some sluty whore bag that get's drunk all the time and has sex with my girlfriend. That wouldn't sound too bad if I were an adult, but I'm only 13. At my school I feel so... dirty. I feel like everyone there thinks of me as some horrible person. I just want to crawl in a corner and cry right now.



There's no way in hell I'm ever going to forgive them for making me feel this way.

[woahnellie]

i miss my baby already

[The_Marinaford_report]

moving from Kentucky to Ohio, i don't kno anyone here!

[jixer]

Hello Kittens-

Wife in hospital for tests, new job, new shift, no time to write.

But on the bright side, I'm not on fire!


Jixer

[JujuDeRoussie]

This is a crappy day... Not the worst but still, not an enjoyable one. Definitely not.
The appointment didn't go bad, but it didn't go well either. It was pointless, but hey I have a second appointment...
Add to that the mother, still being herself of course, annoying as hell.
All in all it is a bad day and I can't wait for it to be over.

[Thianne]

So much effort just wasted. i feel so weak.

[kisstheviolets]

this is the last time i will write about the craptasticness caused by this girl. i promise. she emailed her cousin (my housemate) tonight and went on and on about how great the troll she's dating is, and how the troll is applying for a job in dc and if she moves there they will keep dating and she'll try to get a job there after graduation and they'll live happily ever after. what makes this crappy beyond the obvious?? this is the EXACT same crap she fed me THREE FREAKING DAYS before she went on a date with this troll. exactly. "move to dc, i'll come up and see you on weekends, and then i can move up after graduation." wtf?? i totally got played. and she's known this girl for a month. again, she went on a date with her THREE DAYS after i left viriginia. i am beyond pissed and hurt.

what's the crappiest though, is that i've been through this before. i've actually been through this so much that i'm famous for it. almost every person i've ever been involved with (and all of the ones i've loved) has married or otherwise committed to the person they get with after me (or in some cases, leave me for). we're at 10 people right now and if the girl stays with this troll it'll be 11. it's hard not to take that personally. and it kills me to know that i'm so incredibly easy to get over. that they can just move on so fast. yet i pine for so long. it's got to be me, right? but they all say i didn't do anything wrong, that i was amazing, or patient with them through their issues, or i taught them a lot, or i made them feel safe, and i helped them be ready for the next person. and while that's all nice and good, i'm not offering some kind of lesbian repair service for the benefit of the rest of the world. i might be charitable in many ways, but that's a bit much, right?

i don't know what i'm supposed to do with this. it's like i can't escape the dating version of groundhog day. i've been here so many times before and while it's super familiar, there is nothing pleasant about it. if anything, i just dread meeting someone new because this inevitably happens.

[Yours]

Almost 3 weeks since I've heard off her. Which is weird as I normally speak to her everyday... I miss her voice.

I hope she's getting better