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The Questions and (un)-Answers game

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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby Candleshoe » Sat May 27, 2006 8:45 am

Ooh, I sense a creativity head-to-head between FOTS and Artemis...

A: I like it like that because it tickles. :blush

Q: What happened to Dorothy's red slippers?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby oneyedchicklet » Sat May 27, 2006 8:48 am

A: They clicked their heals together 3 times and found themselves on the feet of a drag queen.

Q: Why is the sky blue and grass green?

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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby Auburn » Sat May 27, 2006 3:30 pm

A: Because the world used to be occupied by pixies with a distinct colour coded system in place.

Q: Carlsberg don't make underwear, but what if they did?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby Candleshoe » Sat May 27, 2006 5:17 pm

A: It would be the most flimsy, sexy, soft, silky and tiny underwear in the world.

Q: How long is a piece of string?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby Auburn » Sun May 28, 2006 4:45 am

A: It's the length of space between Warwickshire and Yorkshire... now all I have to do is speak through this tin contraption and hope the noise reverberates all the way down the string to the tin contraption at your end.

Now you promised you would be naked when you were talking to me, and a promise is a promise! ;-)

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Last edited by Auburn on Sun May 28, 2006 12:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby inlerf » Sun May 28, 2006 8:20 am

A: Spongeboob Squarepanties.

Q: How big is your hammer?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby DelWhicker » Sun May 28, 2006 12:31 pm

A: An accurate sizing is impossible because the parachute pants always throw off the estimations.

Q: Did mama love mambo only because papa loved mambo?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby FemaleOfTheSpecies » Sun May 28, 2006 12:35 pm

No.

Mama loved mambo because she had a pair of kick-ass flamenco shoes to be worn on mambo-day, which falls on the third Monday of any month with an 'm' in it.

Papa, however, loves mambo because he secretly wears mama's flamenco shoes when doing the laundry. Mama doesn't know this but does wonder why they are suddenly baggy on her feet and smell of cheese.




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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby dynigirl » Sun May 28, 2006 2:14 pm

She ran away with the cookie monster?

Q why do the washing faries always steal the clothes you want to wear?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby Auburn » Mon May 29, 2006 6:30 am

A: Because otherwise they would be naked, and they're not just going to wear socks now, are they?

Q: Why is it called a mouse?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby watty » Mon May 29, 2006 7:28 am

A: Because when the inventor was inventing it, the clock struck one. The mouse ran down, did a swan dive for the last 6 inches (which is the equivalent to 300 ft to a mouse), ran across the workshop, did a double backed toe loop, mimed the entire Gilbert & Sullivan's H.M.S. Pinafore and finally out via a gap in the window. The inventor, one French chap by the name of Henri Henri de Henri, was so impressed that he named the pointing device after the mouse.

Q: How often did Linus wash his security blanket?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby oneyedchicklet » Mon May 29, 2006 7:34 am

A: The gang got disgusted with the stentch of Pig Pen so they threw him in the washing machine. They decided that he needed company and Linus' blanket could use a good cleaning so they threw him in too.

Q: Why does one "paint the town red"? Couldn't it be another color like Fuscia?

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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby SithLordWiccan » Mon May 29, 2006 8:19 am

A: It was decided long ago by a secret underground society that there should be a phrase used to indicate a situation of mass mayhem. And, after long deliberation, it was decided that it should be assoicated with a color. Black was the first obvious choice, given how often it is assoicated with evil, but it didn't have the right ring to it. Therefore, they went with the second most evil color: red.

Q: I've been thinking about this for a while, and checking out pictures of Transformers Galaxy Force (Cybertron for US Transfans) Soundblaster made me have to ask somebody. Repaints of Transformer figures have happened a lot, especially in the recent toylines, when it seems that they decided to repaint half the toys in order to get more characters (although this didn't happen in the shows as much). For example, ever since the Robots in Disguise line, Megatron has always been repainted into Galvatron, which looked a lot better than Megatron ever did. So my question is this: why are repainted figures always more cool looking than the originals, and why do people plonk down their cash for the originals when a far superior toy makes it onto the market six months later?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby inlerf » Mon May 29, 2006 6:14 pm

A: The same answer to why anime guys become a lot lot lot cooler when they turn evil: because the fear induced in you that they will sodomize you makes you submissive and triggers a switch called TSS--The Sodomy Switch, which in turn makes you think they're cooler, thus worship them, lest they, you know.

For your next question, some people do that due to the same aforementioned reason, only they don't know a far superior toy will make it to the market six months later--just like how people used to buy a log of wood and six months later, a thermal, bzz-ing vibrator came on the market.

Q: How did Willow make her abs sooo :drool toned?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby DelWhicker » Mon May 29, 2006 9:05 pm

A: Cupcakes, beer, and Tara.


Q: Where do all the moths go when the sun comes up?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby oneyedchicklet » Mon May 29, 2006 10:14 pm

A: To Rock the Casbah

Q: Why can Weebles wooble but don't fall down?

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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby inlerf » Tue May 30, 2006 9:14 am

A: The same reason why Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall: they got high on egg yolks.

Q: Strip dancing, yes?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby Thianne » Tue May 30, 2006 11:36 am

A: yes what? and that would be the answer, 'cause, you know, not at the 'question part' of the post yet

Q: yes what? (now THIS is the question)
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby Auburn » Wed May 31, 2006 5:48 pm

A: Yes, I would like to dance, but only if it was a slow dance in the snow at 6 in the morning with a walrus watching and giving me marks out of ten. Of course, I would have to invite the entire cast of The Bill just to make sure they all know how dancing at 6 in the morning with a walrus watching and giving me marks out of 10 should look.

Q: Why is it never cloudy at night?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby inlerf » Wed May 31, 2006 7:42 pm

A: Whoever asked that must be recently gay.

Q: Willow or Tara?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby SithLordWiccan » Wed May 31, 2006 9:29 pm

A: Both

Q: Does the fact that I care more for other people than I do myself make me a bad person?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby Artemis » Thu Jun 01, 2006 1:52 am

A: Not in and of itself, no. In fact, the ability to prioritise the needs of others above one's own needs is a necessary function of human thought (as well as other social animals). Indeed, the degree to which we may individually be considered worthwhile people is dependant on our acknowledgement and respect for the individuality of others, and our own place in a social framework that extends beyond ourselves. Concrete individuality - that is, individuality as a positive trait, according to our system of morals - cannot exist unless the individual denies their individuality, so far as it impacts negatively on the wellbeing of others.

As for caring about others, Heinlein argued persuasively that compassion is an elevation of survival behaviour above the level of the individual bloodline, and can therefore be considered the basis of any functioning system of morality. The necessity of evolution grants us the ability to quickly and mostly accurately assess situations with regard to our own survival, and the genetic imperative combined with non-genetic 'social evolution' extends this to the survival of our offspring, in that an individual or group that does not value its offspring will, all other factors being equal, be out-survived by the descendants of an individual or group that does.

The social evolution proceeds in stages - loyalty and sacrifice to one's own bloodline is fairly instinctual due to genetic imperative, and values inculcated during childhood. Loyalty and sacrifice to one's immediate social circle - the tribe (or these days, with less positive qualities, the gang) - is often developed as a result of shared circumstances, camaraderie, and external perceived-hostile factors that incline the individual to seek the superior survival value of a group. In more benign situations, shared interests and perceptions of mutual understanding can achieve the same, e.g. friendships. Loyalty and sacrifice to one's wider social group - religion, race, or nation-state - is widespread, as the millennia-long history of inter-societal struggle have created similar circumstances on a 'national' level as those which originally resulted in the rise of tribal behaviour. The ultimate evolution of the survival instinct, according to our present understanding of the universe, would be to hold the needs of life in any form as a goal worth sacrifice on the individual level (though it seems likely, given past experience, that an intermediate stage would be loyalty to Earth, in the event that any extra-terrestrial life is discovered - loyalty in the face of the 'other' is a recurring theme, and one which is difficult to surmount).

Of course, prioritisation of the needs of others doesn't negate one's own needs, and to care more about others than oneself without cause can be a negative in the individual sense, with the potential for negative impacts on others in one's social sphere. However, simplifying morality to a basic 'good/bad' equation, such behaviour would in most circumstances be considered a minor negative at most, and one which could be managed healthily. Understanding that all people have negative qualities, it would be irrational to deem one 'bad' on this basis alone.

So no, it doesn't really make you a bad person that you care more about others than you do yourself. The fact that you've got a gravitic cannon in your basement, and you plan to crash the moon into the Earth and rule the subsequently-arising techno-dark-age as a savage warlord, makes you a bad person. But I wouldn't worry, no-one's perfect.

Q: Who intented clouds, and what did people use previously to make the sky look fancy?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby DelWhicker » Thu Jun 01, 2006 2:28 pm

A: I can't tell you who intented clouds, but a prehistoric race of Stay-Puf Marshmallow men invented clouds. :-D Before that, they would just toss up blops of marshmallow and what ever stuck, stuck. They got tired of getting buried in the blops that would unstick from the sky, mostly because by then it was a viscous mixture of marshmallow and bird poop. So they fluffed it up a bit to make it light and airy and floaty-like. Voila, you got yer basic clouds.

Q: Who really was that masked man??
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby inlerf » Fri Jun 02, 2006 7:54 pm

A: Well, it depends on the time, day, and date you happen to see that masked man.

On days that end with 'y', it's a man. But, on days that has an 'a' in them, it's a woman. Indeed, there's more than one person who's the "masked man".

Superman was rumoured to be (one of) the masked man. It happened on the 16th of February, 1965, at exactly 10:54pm. However, in fact, that was the only time he was caught by Batman wearing his on-the-outside undies on top of his head, mocking the masked man. Thanks to his many ingenius gadgets, Batman had whipped a prototype of the Canon Ixus series out from a hiding place (that looked suspiciously close to his groin) and took several shots of Superman in the compromising pose. Subsequently, he sold the photos, 8 to be exact, to Spider-man, who we all know is a closet bisexual, for a night with Mary-Jane (who wasn't too happy with what Spider-man had done).

The only other superhero known to have been the "masked man" was Wonder Woman. On a dare, she had worn nothing but Batwoman's mask and brandished Catwoman's infamous whip. Spurred on by her lovers (who shall remain subtly unknown), she performed a pole dance and for one lucky couple, a lap dance, in one of the hottest mixed-sex clubs in Las Vegas. Alas, due to her fame and the tons of websites dedicated to her physical beauty, one sharp-eyed gentleman spotted the one tiny, near invisible pimple at the sole of her right foot when she kicked her leg up for the sexy routine's finale. The gentleman was quoted to have exclaimed, "thank God for the hours I spent [looking through] those pictures! It's Wonder Woman!" An uproar ensued, and in the mad panic, Wonder Woman, without any clothing but the mask and a whip in hand, dashed out of the club.

So other than those two, the "masked man" really is just your everyday alleyway mugger.

Q: Where is Paradise?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby Thianne » Sat Jun 03, 2006 6:24 am

A: second star to the right and than straight (or is it gay?) 'till morning

Q: What do you mean you lost them?!?!?!?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby kindagay » Sat Jun 03, 2006 8:49 am

A: They were right here the last time I looked, I swear. Maybe they wandered off somewhere.

Q: Why do people insist on wearing those silly big hats to weddings & christenings?

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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby FineyMcFine » Sat Jun 03, 2006 8:55 am

A: Here's the real reason: because there's a giant acid rain problem in England and the hats prevent skin damage from the falling acidic droplets.

Q: Why can't there be a square root of a negative number?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby umgaynow » Sat Jun 03, 2006 2:34 pm

A: Because Paddington Bear wouldn't like it

Q: It is raining again...3rd day in a row...it should be sunny and in the mid-70s about now...could someone in England check and see if they have our weather?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby dynigirl » Sat Jun 03, 2006 2:49 pm

Well its been sunny here for about three days so I guess so.

Q. Why can I walk around the house in the dark and not bum into anthing but have to turn the light on to pee?

ETA ok I get it too much personal information. Lets try another one. Why can I see the moon in the sky when the sun is shinning and it is four in the afternoon?
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Re: The Questions and (un)-Answers game

Postby inlerf » Sat Jun 03, 2006 7:57 pm

A,1: When you're walking around in the house naked, I was there to help you remove the furniture you were about to bump into. But when you have to pee, the rubber band has a high elastic potential energy that can snap and turn into a gigantic amount of thermal energy.

A,2: The moon hasn't tuned her clock for daylight savings.

Q: What's cheating?
Willow: [pouty] Everyone's getting spanked but me.

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