Things that make you go hmmm? The general humor thread.

[Jennpurr]

You know... resigning from adulthood would be so nice.



Tempest,



Thank you, sweetie. To answer your question, I'm not sure. I found the quote on the net at another group. I just thought it was so Amber and I had to use it.



Jen

---

||My Fan Fiction and More!|| ||My Yahoo Group||
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Got to sing. Got to dance. Got to suck face with Alyson Hannigan." - Amber Benson (Toronto Trek)
Dory: Look, here's something! *points to a door that has the word, 'escape,' on it* Es-cop-ay! I wonder what that means... it's funny. It's spelled just like the word escape.

[xita]

Yay thanks for the resignation. It's amazing even though kids are a whole lot more sophisticated than when I was a kid, they still have that innocense about the world.

- - - - - - - - - - -
"Hard work often pays off after time but laziness always pays off now!"

[skittles]

From CNN:



Oh brother! Paper bungles woman's ad



VANCOUVER, Washington (AP) -- Barbara Bennett wanted to sell her Brother brand sewing machine, so she bought a classified advertisement under "Miscellaneous" and "Items under $50" in The Columbian newspaper.



Instead, the words "sewing machine" were accidentally dropped, leaving a "BROTHER" for sale ad.



One caller wanted to know if the price was negotiable. Another, upon hearing what was really for sale, said merely, "Thank you," and hung up.



Bennett, 41, a customer service representative, said Tuesday she has two brothers in California and is not putting either on the block. Newspaper officials agreed to run a corrected ad.



"It's OK, I needed a good laugh," Bennett said. "I had minor heart surgery on Friday, so it helps."

skittles



"I'll tell you how the sun rose, --A ribbon at a time." Emily Dickinson

[Tempest Duer]

Can I sell my brother? Of course, he's a lot of trouble, but he's a smart, lovable kid. Except when he practices his trumpet indoors.

Willow: Hey Buff. One more thing. Buffy: Yeah? Willow: I’m gay. Buffy: Okay, Will. Xander owes me ten bucks.

~Remember to Breathe by Yellow Crayon

[cattwoman98111]

got the following email:



I will never admit to any of the following.









Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers: (Until the labels are in

place, use alcohol at your own discretion.)



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra (or boxers)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell yourfriends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe thatex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that youare tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy

Your smile got stuck in my eyes and your mouth makes me forget what i'm saying and your lips make me wonder if your taken, so tell me, are you taken?

[maudmac]

This is funny. And true. And horrifying. But still funny.

---

I have no professional training. I already gave my best. I have no regrets at all.

[Tempest Duer]

I'm scared, Mommy!



Actually, I've been scared since he got elected. But you're right, it's still funny.

Willow: Hey Buff. One more thing. Buffy: Yeah? Willow: I’m gay. Buffy: Okay, Will. Xander owes me ten bucks.

~Remember to Breathe by Yellow Crayon

[cattwoman98111]

give this a chance, trust me.





www.bettybowers.com

[Tempest Duer]

The bumper stickers are fantastic. God told me to hate you... You make Jesus vomit... this is funny!

Willow: Hey Buff. One more thing. Buffy: Yeah? Willow: I’m gay. Buffy: Okay, Will. Xander owes me ten bucks.

~Remember to Breathe by Yellow Crayon

[cattwoman98111]

Tempest,



Did you read the Homosexual Agenda?



And Coffee with God was pretty funny to.

[Jennpurr]

Sorry, but this one is funny:











Jen

---

||My Fan Fiction and More!|| ||My Yahoo Group||
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Got to sing. Got to dance. Got to suck face with Alyson Hannigan." - Amber Benson (Toronto Trek)


Dory: Look, here's something! *points to a door that has the word, 'escape,' on it* Es-cop-ay! I wonder what that means... it's funny. It's spelled just like the word escape. ~ "Finding Nemo"

[AmbeRocks]

that's cute and funny tva.canoe.com/emissions/s...tworry.htm



this one is strange:

www.neen.org/demo/clinger.swf





and those are just fun little games:

yeti.e-medien.com/playonline.html



have a nice day

jen

There is such a variety of well-invented things that the earth is like the breasts of a woman: useful as well as pleasing - Nietzsche

[maudmac]

Moth Class

---

I have no professional training. I already gave my best. I have no regrets at all.

[Jennpurr]

OMG...







That's frickin' hillarious!!!







Jen

---

||My Fan Fiction and More!|| ||My Yahoo Group||
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Got to sing. Got to dance. Got to suck face with Alyson Hannigan." - Amber Benson (Toronto Trek)


Dory: Look, here's something! *points to a door that has the word, 'escape,' on it* Es-cop-ay! I wonder what that means... it's funny. It's spelled just like the word escape. ~ "Finding Nemo"

[mollyig]

Source: The Guardian (UK newspaper)



www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,3604,1159037,00.html

---

". . . and tolerance it ain't acceptance . . ." - Amy Ray

Edited by: mollyig  at: 3/2/04 7:25 am

[cattwoman98111]

For those of you that know me I’m sure you have figured out a few things about me one, that i am easily amused and two, i have a dirty mind. So the item below may only be funny to well, me.





Last week and portions of this week i have been reprogramming access codes into copy machines, to prevent unauthorized use of said machine (thrilling work let me tell ya) anyway, the company settled on a 7 digit code (which by all means is a fabulous choice in itself, anyone know the song Jenny?) come to find out some machines can only handle a 4 digit code...so one of the tech’s (great guy btw) decided to translate the brand of machine alphanumerically into a code that it could handle, that being 2469. I don’t recommend laughing out loud in the middle of a meeting when told this, not fun to explain away.

Your smile got stuck in my eyes and your mouth makes me forget what i'm saying and your lips make me wonder if your taken, so tell me, are you taken?

[astrangerhere]

Seen on cars recently in a rather famous collge town:





Voldemort in 2004!

I mean i know the presidential election is often a lesser of the two evils, but Voldemort? Really...





Remember, Pillage first, Then Burn





a.s.h. (who is very amused by odd bumper stickers and would like to know if you have seen any...)

[skittles]

Ok, Here's the final exam for a class in Coaching Principles and Strategies of Basketball... I'll put a link to the article at the end... (there's a scandal at Georgia because of this... & perhaps other stuff) but here's the exam...Could you pass this test??

The 20-question final exam Jim Harrick Jr. gave to his

Coaching Principles and Strategies of Basketball class

in fall 2001:

1. How many goals are on a basketball court?

a. 1

b. 2

c. 3

d. 4



2. How many players are allowed to play at one time on any one team in a regulation game?

a. 2

b. 3

c. 4

d. 5



3. In what league to (sic) the Georgia Bulldogs compete?

a. ACC

b. Big Ten

c. SEC

d. Pac 10



4. What is the name of the coliseum where the Georgia Bulldogs play?

a. Cameron Indoor Arena

b. Stegeman Coliseum

c. Carrier Dome

d. Pauley Pavilion



5. How many halves are in a college basketball game?

a. 1

b. 2

c. 3

d. 4



6. How many quarters are in a high school basketball game?

a. 1

b. 2

c. 3

d. 4



7. How many points does one field goal account for in a Basketball Game?

a. 1

b. 2

c. 3

d. 4



8. How many points does a 3-point field goal account for in a Basketball Game?

a. 1

b. 2

c. 3

d. 4



9. How many officials referee a college basketball game?

a. 2

b. 4

c. 6

d. 3



10. How many teams are in the NCAA Men's Basketball National Championship Tournament?

a. 48

b. 64

c. 65

d. 32



11. What is the name of the exam which all high school seniors in the State of Georgia must pass?

a. Eye Exam

b. How Do The Grits Taste Exam

c. Bug Control Exam

d. Georgia Exit Exam



12. What basic color are the uniforms the Georgia Bulldogs wear in home games?

a. White

b. Red

c. Black

d. Silver



13. What basic color are the uniforms the Georgia Bulldogs wear in away games?

a. Pink

b. Blue

c. Orange

d. Red



14. How many minutes are played in a college basketball contest?

a. 20

b. 40

c. 60

d. 90



15. How many minutes are played in a high school basketball game?

a. 15

b. 30

c. 32

d. 45



16. Diagram the 3-point line.



17. Diagram the half-court line.



18. How many fouls is a player allowed to have in one Basketball game before fouling out in that game?

a. 3

b. 5

c. 7

d. 0



19. If you go on to become a huge coaching success, to whom will you tribute (sic) the credit?

a. Mike Krzyzewski

b. Bobby Knight

c. John Wooden

d. Jim Harrick Jr.



20. In your opinion, who is the best Division I assistant coach in the country?

a. Ron Jursa (sic)

b. John Pelphrey

c. Jim Harrick Jr.

d. Steve Wojciechowski



Click here for the article at CNN/Sports Illustrated.

skittles



"I'll tell you how the sun rose, --A ribbon at a time." Emily Dickinson

[Triscuit7]

Sent to me by a friend and I just had to share....



www.godhatesshrimp.com/



Ciao, Melissa

******************



Do something totally irrational and let the enemy think himself to death. (Pyanfar Chanur)

[Tempest Duer]

Oh, my god... for a second there I thought the site was serious. Then I saw the disclaimer at the bottom of the site.



Oh, here's something that's on-topic. You know how people have the lists of lame things on wrappers, right? Well, I actually saw "may cause drowsiness" on the label of a prescription sleep aid.

Willow: Hey Buff. One more thing. Buffy: Yeah? Willow: I’m gay. Buffy: Okay, Will. Xander owes me ten bucks.

~Remember to Breathe by Yellow Crayon

[SJ]

[Jennpurr]

Quote:

---

Oh, here's something that's on-topic. You know how people have the lists of lame things on wrappers, right? Well, I actually saw "may cause drowsiness" on the label of a prescription sleep aid.

---

That's hilarious!



Jen

---

||My Fan Fiction and More!|| ||My Yahoo Group||
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"I could never hide this little light of mine, If God made a mistake then I should die before I wake, Maybe it's my fate to swim against this tide, Swallowing my pride." - Melissa Etheridge, "Meet Me In The Dark."

[Tempest Duer]

I think I still have the bottle somewhere. If I do, I'll take a picture and post it here.

Willow: Hey Buff. One more thing. Buffy: Yeah? Willow: I’m gay. Buffy: Okay, Will. Xander owes me ten bucks.

~Remember to Breathe by Yellow Crayon

[cattwoman98111]

I must post in this thread on a weekly basis. It appears I find a lot of things funny (if you all only new the half of it) so here is another one i find fun.



Perfect remedy for a bad day...



Lessons I've learned...



I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.



I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.



I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.



I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits.



I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others they are more fucked up than you think.



I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.



I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.



I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.



I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.



I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends, because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.



I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.



I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.



I've learned to say "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.-Sacha Guitry

Edited by: cattwoman98111 at: 3/11/04 6:14 pm

[maudmac]

From Drew:



MC Low Self Esteem



A Pair of Banjos



My Coffee Commercial



I love these and think they're hilarious. Your mileage is almost certainly going to vary.

---

I have no professional training. I already gave my best. I have no regrets at all.

[xita]

dude i love those, cynical!! :grin

- - - - - - - - - - -
"Hard work often pays off after time but laziness always pays off now!"

[cattwoman98111]

It is time for my weekly comic post...this weeks edition contains strong language and may offend oh, lots of people.



www.illwillpress.com/sml.html





if you liked this one, check out the website home, lots more great stuff.



If the link does not work, paste it to the search bar and it should.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

[Jennpurr]

||My Fan Fiction and More!|| ||My Yahoo Group||
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"And though down here I may not understand; I won't let go of the unseen hand; For It holds the reasons why..." ~ 4 Him, "Why?"

[urnofosiris]

Hee, that was funny and so true.

[dekalog]

Now that little trip down memory lane made my morning







When I was in school I worked for them - it was a very cult like scary experience.