Random Moments

[JustSkipIt]

They are not dads but I can't express my level of gratitude to the 2 (ok, actually 3 because we mixed some sperm) young men (probably college students) who years ago donated sperm so that we could have our wonderful miracle children.

[sweet satin lover]

I honestly love how big my heart is and how capable I am of seeing the good in most people and most things. I love giving better than receiving and will do anything in my power to make people happy including my special ( and so beautiful) lady. I love that my mother raised me with dignity and respect and taught me to pass certain values to others during my life. I bet my dad will kick himself one day because he lost out big time but I don't know if I would be the woman i am today without certain things, all I know is that this is the sexiest and happiest I have felt in a long time

[Finey_McFine]

We're sitting here in the hotel lobby people watching and waiting for Jordan to finish rehearsals and my wife leans over and says..."Fuck, we're lesbian pageant Moms! Is there even such a thing?"

[T.G.I.F.]

Me and a male roommate were both in the kitchen. I needed to use the microwave and his food was done. He took out two meals and I looked at him a little weird and he was like: "What?"
And I said: "You put that in the microwave?'
He said: "Yes, why? I hope they're done."
I started to laugh and again he was like: "What?"
And I explained: "That's a pasta salad, you're supposed to eat that cold."
He looked at me and said: "No, that's a steamed meal."
Me: "Yes, the bottom one is, but the top one is a cold pasta salad...."
He: "Oooooh, that's why there was no macrowave time indication on the container.... Ah well, I'm sure it tastes fine."
I shrugged my shoulders and said: "Sure, it's still pasta."
And he walked off while my other roommate (female) was already in the doorway and she heard almost the whole conversation, and she was laughing so hard that I almost had to pick her off the floor.

It was so damn funny!

[Finey_McFine]

I was just on Craig's List searching 'old doors' and a flying squirrel with cage was included in my search results.

[sweet satin lover]

so excited!!! Yayayayayayayaya!

[Finey_McFine]

While our child is away at Orchestra camp, my wife and I are doing a house purge. Basically it's a clearing of all the BS clutter that she pack rats and forgets about. Anyway, I'm in the kitchen and I hear my wife cracking up. She found a card with a poem that Jordan made for me Valentine's Day 2011.

I Love You

Mother, I love you
Every day of the year
I love you so
and a lot more than beer.

I love you during winter
I love you during summer
I love you in the fall
and I love you in the spring.

I love you all the time and
I wouldn't trade you even
for a million dimes.

Now THAT'S love!

[JustSkipIt]

I had my annual evaluation today (my first one in 2 years). In that time I've had 3 bosses. I have been very nervous about it and about my job in general. Basically it's a 5 point scale and I got 3 3s, 4 4s, and 1 5. The 3s are "meets expectations" which is not very good obviously. I was expecting two of them and got in trouble last month so I already had my constructive criticism and have been working on improving. The other one is weird like he was like "here's your score - well done let's move on." I asked him and he basically said it was between a 3 and 4 and he settled on 3.

I'm actually relieved to get it over with.

1. I'm not fired.
2. I'm not on probation.

Now I just have to work on sucking up to customers more and telling my boss every little thing that happens to set a project off schedule.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Today I managed to get my head caught in a door.

[T.G.I.F.]

So, my mom was here for the weekend and we went shopping on Saturday. Everything was normal, until we ran into my uncle and aunt. Who we haven't seen in years (the family is kinda shredded due to stupid quarrels and nobody remembers what they were about), and I thought that was spooky because my mom never stayed with me before, I am downtown all the time, because I live there, and never saw them once. And now my mom was here and we miraculously ran into them after 5 years? They don't even live here! I still think it's kinda creepy....

[Finey_McFine]

Me: Innocently standing in the kitchen this morning.
Wife: You look like a twelve year old boy.
Me: What makes you say that?
Wife: Maybe because you're wearing long shorts with Vans and eating a PB&J sandwich?
Me: Grinning.
Wife: Adorable.

[meretricious]

The first time google maps did street level past our house, the garage door was open and my lovely girlfriend was in the yard, pulling weeds, ass in the air. They have since replaced it with a looks like no one is at home shot. Now we are cleaning and staining all the fences and decking in front of the house, which makes for a lot of ass in the air time, and I keep wondering if google maps are driving by again. How often do they reshoot those anyway?

[Finey_McFine]

How often do they reshoot those anyway?

I'm not sure, but I would guess every couple years. I just googled my house and the pic is fairly new. The last time I looked was a few months ago. That pic was taken in 2009ish and the pic on there now was taken during the drought last summer and recently uploaded. I know this because my yard is dead and looks like shit, lol.

[JustSkipIt]

It's Katie's birthday. Say Happy Birthday! Heck, shout it.

[BeMyDeputy]

It's Katie's birthday. Say Happy Birthday! Heck, shout it.

[Finey_McFine]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE!!!

[BeMyDeputy]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE!!!

I sure wouldn't cry if I got feedback for my birthday.

[Kessari]

My best friend suggested me getting a job as a football (soccer) commentator, because apparently I make games a lot more fun?! He HATES the sport with a passion, but since he's in the process of moving and has no internet he watched some games with me (over the phone)... Seems like I'm quite funny, when I scream at the tv and curse the players, who get paid millions and millions for standing around and doing nothing productive. Not the first time I've been told this... But aren't commentators supposed to be impartial?

[Finey_McFine]

Since picking up our daughter from orchestra camp last Saturday, she has asked us the following questions...

-What's a camel toe?
-What's jail bait?
-What's foreplay?
-What's a shlong?
-What's a queef?

*Sighs* Seriously?

[BeMyDeputy]

Since picking up our daughter from orchestra camp last Saturday, she has asked us the following questions...

*Sighs* Seriously?

I'm surprised the questions were that tame, honestly.

In orchestra tour in high school, kids put Everclear in water bottles to get it past the chaperones. At least, so I was told. I was (am?) an oblivious goody two-shoes, so . . . not my thing.

[RoyoNobus]

This morning I was woken up to the sound of a heavily accented woman screaming "Hello?" and calling out my mother's name. It was like 7 a.m. and I had plans to sleep late. Anyway, I was the only one home but this woman felt compelled to let herself into our house and scream at the top of her lungs for approximately three minutes straight. By the time I got dressed to see who it is, they left. So that happened....

[Kessari]

The other day I almost had a heart attack at Starbucks... Was deep in thought, waiting for the barista to show up and when she did I didn't pay attention and literally jumped a foot when she started talking to me. Ninja skills, seriously!
Today, I felt like having a heart attack again, when I installed my new RAM memory into my laptop. It was quite tricky, but I made it work. YAY. Go me!!!!

[BeMyDeputy]

I changed my Facebook picture to a Union Jack today. I can't find the picture of me from a different July 4th, standing under an American flag, wearing a tshirt with a Union Jack on it.

I'm just patriotic that way.

[JustSkipIt]

It's going to be so weird to have to work tomorrow after a holiday today.

[sweet satin lover]

I'm really really hungry but I refuse to eat at this hour of the morning. No way.

[BeMyDeputy]

Conversation between me and a straight female friend:

Me: Thanks for putting up with me yesterday. I was having one of those days when I'm like grr, the whole world sucks. Except, you know, you didn't. The whole world except you*.
Her: For reference, I never suck.
Me: Um. Uhh . . . man, part of me wants to ask, but I don't think I want to know.

*Technically, Adam didn't was also nice yesterday, as were the rest of my friends.


What I realized hours later I should have said at the end there: "Funny, I was taught oral comes standard."

[Finey_McFine]

It's raining and thundering today and one of our Chihuahua's is in the chair with me shaking uncontrollably. Poor little pooch, ever since Hurricane Ike she's terrified of storms.

[JustSkipIt]

Some times I simply do not understand my wife's family. They live about an hour East of Dallas. They do not come visit us. They have been here once. When Asher was born, Rachel's mom stayed 1.5 weeks. When Chiara was born she stayed about 18 hours (literally). It's not just us. They don't visit Rachel's brother who lives in Dallas. Today Rachel's nephew is having a baby shower in Dallas for his first child and they are not going because it would be too far to drive (an hour and fifteen minutes or so).

Anyway... Rachel's uncle died last week and the funeral is Thursday in Dallas. There are apparently 3 parts: immediate family only service or something. Graveside. and Memorial. Rachel is trying to figure out what to take herself, me, the kids or any of the above to. Her mom says only the memorial for any of the above. She asks me what I think and I said that she needs to have pretty low expectations of the kids' behavior to sit in a pew in a memorial service for someone they have never met and probably never heard of. She says she can't have low expectations. She wants them to go so that her cousins can meet the kids or something and also behave perfectly. The kids are 8 and 4 so don't you think if she cared for the kids to meet these people, we would have done so at some point? I mean they live in Dallas and we drive through there at least 4x a year to visit her parents.

This makes no fucking sense to me. Rachel's mother hadn't even seen her Brother in law in a few years and didn't know that he was in hospice for 6 months. How do you not know your brother-in-law who lives an hour away is in hospice for 6 months?

[Finey_McFine]

Deb...My Mom was famous for stuff like that. She never went anywhere. She lived with us for nine years and never once attended ANY of Jordan's orchestra concerts, softball games, soccer games, dance recitals...nothing and those were like 15 minutes away. When I was a kid she did the same thing to me, I can only remember her attending one band concert and my HS graduation. I thought it was because she had a bunch of little kids, but as she got older, I realized that it was pure selfishness. She couldn't be bothered or something, everyone had to come to her. Ridiculous.

[BeMyDeputy]

Adam, on seeing the cover of my new book:

"Um, I don't think that's about the price of salt."