The perks of being gay

[stillflygrlop]

The post pertaining to Willow and Tara's love got me to thinking about lesbian relationships in general. I know I can't generalize, and someone out there is probably going to criticize me for saying stuff, but I'm going to go out on a limb anyway.



IMO, lesbian relationships, as demonstrated by W/T, seem to be based more on tenderness and sensuality, rather than SEXuality. I know there was sex involved in their relationship at one point, but it doesn't seem like the focal point. I don't know whether it's because they're both women (and as such, have a tendency to be more supportive and understanding rather than domineering) or their connection, or both. But, in many films and tv shows that I've seen, the females aren't all about screwing each other's brains out. This might be because of censorship, and that there simply isn't any other way to convey what the writer wants, but I think the subtlety is very much a true facet of life as well.



I think, for me, the reason why I gravitate towards females is precisely because of the subtlety and understanding; the support, tenderness, and softness. Now, I'm not saying all of this is not possible in a heterosexual relationship, but the hackneyed phrase "men are from mars and women and from venus" isn't one for nothing. Understanding--real understanding-- is difficult when you've got two opposite poles. Of course, same-sex communication isn't much easier, but at least you know you've got the same relative anatomy.



So, to end this post, I've listed some perks to being gay (or lesbian, whichever). Keep an open mind, please



1. You know *exactly* how "that time of the month" feels like

2. Soft snuggling

3. You don't get impatient waiting for your partner to get ready....even if it takes hours

3. No machismo complex

4. Never have to wait for the "thing" to rise. Better yet, no impotence!

5. We can ALL be breadwinners

6. Nights of cuddling, and *gasp* no sex

7. Don't have to get pregnant if you don't want to

8. Asking your partner to buy you some tampons isn't so embarassing anymore

9. Talk, talk, and more talk

10. The toilet seat is NEVER up



Anymore suggestions? Responses? Bring it on! :-p

[kc070697]

I would have to add the following:



1. You can buy each other roses and no one has to feel like they have to "put out"

2. You can say cheesy stuff as much as you want

3. You can giggle when making love and nobody feels like it was a direct dig on them

4. no performance anxiety

5. You can double your wardrobe!!



I may add more later, but that's all that comes to mind right now!

Edited by: kc070697 at: 8/30/02 10:16:17 pm

[WiccansIllusion]

Y'know, all these are opinions on lesbianism are great, unless you have Ruth write a fic and it all goes to hell.

Tara nodded in agreement "She has magic fingers." Then, as though the words had just echoed back to her and sounded not at all right, she perked up and glanced around at the others. "On the keyboard."

TheWisdom of War, Chris Golden

'My heart is cleverer then I and it knows what to do.'-MC Legends of the Kiss

[Ittybittykitty]

Amen to that WiccansIllusion, I just started reading Final Exam...and whoa!

Shameless plug- Read my fic 7th Hellvan. It isn't half bad:)! "Innerbed".

[WiccansIllusion]

I think this is more along the lines of the perks of being a Lesbian

Tara nodded in agreement "She has magic fingers." Then, as though the words had just echoed back to her and sounded not at all right, she perked up and glanced around at the others. "On the keyboard."

TheWisdom of War, Chris Golden

'My heart is cleverer then I and it knows what to do.'-MC Legends of the Kiss

[AutumnT]

Quote:

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3. You don't get impatient waiting for your partner to get ready....even if it takes hours

---

Well. I can't say this. I'm the impatient type who MUST be on time.



But I agree that there is a big difference in understanding in being with another woman and yeah there is the sensuality factor, but I would never rule out the SEXuality factor just because it is two women. Because well, I'll let Ruth explain it as she does so much better at these things.

Autumn

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Buffy Season 6: It grated, like something forced in where it doesn't belong.

[xita]

I think we really should be careful, we don't bash other kitties and this could already be seen as an attack on heterosexuality. Yes there are perks to being gay but please do not put down heterosexuality. It does work well for some people.



My perk:



1. Sex without contraception.



And I would add, sex, sexuality, sensuality, affection and love are all entertwined for me I wouldn't judge one for another and hey I am gay.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

[AutumnT]

Well I certainly wasn't trying to put down heterosexuals. I mean some of my best friends are heterosexuals. I was raised by, uh, well rather disfuntional heterosexuals, and I am sure if I had a godfather he would have been heterosexual.

Autumn

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Buffy Season 6: It grated, like something forced in where it doesn't belong.

[miss calendar]

Well like Willow, I'm a breast girl myself so that's a definite perk to being a lesbian.

[Lindy]

Who can say cheesy stuff all the time? To me? Nuh uh, no way .. kitsch. I hate it. But this could lead to a whole debate about the difference between being romantic and being cheesy, so, let's better drop this before I get really started

~~~~~~~
It's nothing. It's all.. nothing

[tommo]

As much as you enjoy touching your own breasts, it's great to touch someone else's.



And thanks for the nice comments about FE. I have to say that my lesbian relationships have never been like that. But damn, I wish they had been...

Edited by: DrG at: 11/2/03 2:25 am

[Hair Annoyed]

That spiffy rainbow flag makes a cheerful motif on all your home or office decor.



Getting to share your college dormroom with your girlfriend.



Getting to claim Willow and Tara as our own.

[xita]

Going to stores and changing in the same dressing room

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

[Kieli]

That one, Xita is one of my fave perks. The one I don't really like so much is the whole "You two are just so cute together." It makes me feel like I'm a puppy or something.

Love is tricky. It is never mundane or daily. You can never get used to it. You have to walk with it, then let it walk with you. You can never balk. It moves you like the tide. It takes you out to sea then lays you on the beach again. Today's struggling pain is the foundation for a certain stride through the heavens. You can run from it but you can never say no. It includes everyone."--Amy Tan "The Hundred Secret Senses"

[tommo]

Uh, being gay.



And as for the stubble thing...that's entirely subjective. Depending on whether you shave or not.



Legs and armpits and uh...y'know, other places. Naturally.

Edited by: DrG at: 11/2/03 2:24 am

[Underneathherclothes]

Here's some I can think of off hand:

Chocolate shopping

No fuzz (stubble) in sink

Sharing clothes, makeup, hair stuff

Girl on girl action

How bad could it be, if you should fall in love with me? How bad could it be-sexuality

[Tulipp]

Um...



getting to share a room at the in-laws because if they split us up they'd have to admit we sleep together?

[brave little toaster]

...multiple orgasms

[Iamyouknowyours]

Breasts are fun, and now you have twice as many to play with!



Nothing against heterosexuals here. Or bisexuals. Or anyone else. The important thing is you love, it doesn't matter who

"That's right, Puppy... Willow's gonna make you bark."

-The Wish
Willow, you can make me bark anytime!

[DarkMagickClem]

Thanks Xita for sticking up for us heteros. As a straight male, I'd just like to point out that those of us who don't...gay...can sometimes also enjoy a few of your perks.

Quote:

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You know *exactly* how "that time of the month" feels like

---

well ok, not *exactly* but my girlfriend has often described it to me and then fervently wished I could share the experience with her.

Quote:

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Soft snuggling

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we do that.

Quote:

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We can ALL be breadwinners

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we have to do that.

Quote:

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Never have to wait for the "thing" to rise. Better yet, no impotence!

---

I have know idea what this is referring to.

Quote:

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Asking your partner to buy you some tampons isn't so embarassing anymore

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the asking partner is never embarassed, and I usually just buy a whole bunch of stuff I don't really need at the same time and hide the tampons in the middle.

Quote:

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Chocolate shopping

---

many of us forward-thinking heterosexuals will experiment with an occasional chocolate.

Quote:

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multiple orgasms

---

I'm not sure why women think this is such a big deal. I don't like to brag but I myself have had several over the period of a week or so.





WILLOW: Well, Xander is a man, so it's kinda not the surprise that he likes to watch... Girls... Why are we talking about this?

Edited by: DarkMagickClem at: 8/31/02 3:15:01 pm

[AutumnT]

Quote:

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I'm not sure why women think this is such a big deal. I don't like to brag but I myself have had several over the period of a week or so.

---

LOL. And can I just say I love your screen name.

Autumn

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Buffy Season 6: It grated, like something forced in where it doesn't belong.

[Rachel o4]

Hey, its only natural for women to accompany each other to the bathroom...hehe

[miawillow]

Tulipp your perk made me LOL!! I guess ignorance really is bliss!

Tara: Every time I... even at my worst, you always make me feel special. How do you do that?
Willow: Magic

[BBOvenGuy]

Quote:

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8. Asking your partner to buy you some tampons isn't so embarassing anymore

10. The toilet seat is NEVER up

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Hey! I'll have you know that when I was married, I was very good about both these issues.

------------------------------------------------
"A man who fails well is greater than one who succeeds badly" - Thomas Merton

[Dumbsaint]

Quote:

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Hey, its only natural for women to accompany each other to the bathroom...hehe

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Heh. Also handily demonstrated in Ruthfic. Many of them, as I recall. Godbless'er.



Yanno, I kinda take a bit of pervie girl umbrage at the initial post in this thread and the way it downplays the SEX part in lesbian sexuality. Yes, cuddling and snuggling and soft kisses are marvelous, but why diss the sex? I for one love sex. Really, really love sex. I really can't get enough of it.



Furthermore, I think we live in a culture guilty of systematically brainwashing women into not being sexual beings, or at least, not as sexual as they otherwise might be inclined to be, gay, bi, and straight alike. And I think that sucks.



Which is actually one of the reasons why I am inclined to write women-oriented smut. Heh. Can I get a friendly chorus of "I'd like to teach the world to get it on in perfect harmony..."?



...I can't help it. I'm a ho.



Edited because I am a ho who can't spell.

"It's not real. I mean, there are no vampires, there are no witches. Well, there are Wiccans, but they're not making out with Alyson, so..." -Amber Benson

Edited by: Dumbsaint at: 8/31/02 7:56:18 pm

[The Big I T]

Did you mean "friendly" in a sexual kind of way? Cuz I'm all over the chorus on that one...and I really, really mean that. In a sexual kind of way.

[stillflygrlop]

I acknowledge sex as a healthy part of every relationship, but it doesn't have to revolve around that. I'm referring to sex as the meaningless act, kinda like some of the episodes between B/S. But then again, who am I to say? I haven't exactly had the good fortune of experiencing sex :-(

[Mrs Vertigo]

perks:

You get to feel like a walking-talking political issue!



No, I’m kidding of course, but the stickers and the t-shirts can really be fun

[LadyCallie]

No offence to any straight person, but could you lighten up a little? We of the happy sparkly rainbow type are just listing some of the cheerful facts of lesbian life, we mean no offence and straight couples certainly can do most of the stuff listed...double breast touching is a little bit different in the not-gay sense, but yeah... :/



Anyways, girls this is such fun! I've printed most of it out and I'm gonna call my baby after church and read them off to her. Hopefully we can think up some more!!



Thanks dolls!

-LC

~*~

RealLiveTara is my RealLiveGirlfriend! :)

"It doesn't have to be a really frenchish french, I just wanna feel your tongue."- my grilfriend last night.

Moderator of the
Dark Angel Fanfiction Board and Boo's Corner.


~*~

[xita]

This is not about lightening up, this is about respect. We can't get respect unless we give it ourself. Imagine an opposite list. The things we should list here should not be hurtful to a group of people that I proudly welcome as kittens.



I think we can keep it to things that truly only apply to two women and not stereotypically so. I wouldn't like it if people made an opposite list that included things like, "flesh and blood penetration tool." or "legal marriages!" or "we can have babies." Some of those are offensive but others would be erroneous, heck we can have babies.



So it really isn't about having a sense of humor, it's about being good to each other. I think there are plenty of lesbian only things that are completely positive!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

Edited by: xita  at: 9/1/02 10:27:35 am