The Crappy Feelings Thread (HOTLINES in first post)

[bytrsuite]

This is a thread where we can post when we are feeling blue/down/depressed/crappy and any other words that cover blueish/downish/depressedly/crappily feelings. Hopefully posting here will make kitties feel better by either just getting whatever is troubling them off their chest or by the support from fellow kitties. You may offer support to other kitties but, do not use the thread as a chat thread. The Chat thread is here. If you find yourself back and forthing with just a few people then it is probably time to take it to PM or email or the chat thread. As always, if you have issues with the moderation, do not post about them on the board. Email or PM a mod. You can find them here.



Unfortunately -as it is with some other subjects- there are limits to what we can do for each other or talk about on the board. Should anyone have troubles that weigh so heavily on them that they feel like physically harming themselves or even suicide then that is not something we can counsel you on. Even kittens who happen to be doctors, nurses, psychologists etc. cannot do so. When posting here no one is a professional. As great a medium as a discussion forum is, when it comes to matters as serious as these it lacks important information. When reading a post we cannot see the look in your eyes or hear the sound of your voice. It is all too easy to say too much or too little and do more harm than good.



To avoid that, these are things we can't talk about, we simply are not qualified to do so. If anyone does have these feelings then we urge you to seek (professional) help in your immediate surroundings. If that is too difficult a step to take or not possible for other reasons we have compiled a list of links to sites or organizations that may help you.



The Trevor Project 1-866-4-U-TREVOR - For Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Trans Youth in Crisis

The National Suicide Helpline: 1-800-SUICIDE or (800)442-4673 .....1-800-442-HOPE

(877)838-2838 .....1-877-Vet2Vet Veterans

(800)784-2432 .....1-800-SUICIDA Spanish speaking

(877)968-8454 .....1-877-YOUTHLINE teen to teen

(800)472-3457 .....1-800-GRADHLP Grad student

(800)773-6667 .....1-800-PPD-MOMS Post partum depression

These sites will give help and hotline numbers for anyone outside the US:

Befrienders Worldwide

suicide helplines around the world

a few more helpful websites:

International Suicide Prevention Wiki

Suicide Prevention Action Network

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention




Now on with the thread, feel free to feel crappy now and hopefully better later.



-Your friendly neighborhood moderators

[LesbianJedi87]

Perfect.

The store where my mom works at got robbed as she was working. There were 3 guys, they kept pushing her around and as she was getting the money one of them bashed her in the head with a liqiour bottle. Argh. My sister and I hauled ass over there. Shes alright and on her way to the hostpital. I wasnt able to go because I had to drive my car back here. Grrr. Im so thankfull that shes ok. I dont want to post this just to get attention, it's just HERE and Im all alone with no one to talk to right now. :\

[Boschi]

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Grr.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Fucker.

Fucking Fucker.

[Tarababy77]

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Grr.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Fucker.

Fucking Fucker.

Let me know if you need another one. =)

[LtSticks]

I don't think I can quite describe how low I feel. LOL, I quit drinking ages ago, and now I'm just sat here with a half bottle of evil amaretto and shot glasses hoping it will cheer me up. It feels like so many issues I've avoided and tried to dismiss are just there, stronger than ever, and I feel like there's noone I can really talk to. Thank god for Livejournal I guess, I guess tonight I needed an outlet of my pain, fear and rage.

Sometimes I think the hardest thing is to be alone.

[Gatito Grande]

Yay: it's back (the Crappy Feelings thread). I feel better already!

Here's my deal: about a month ago, I interviewed for a job (in itself, a pretty rare thing for me: I usually get shot down in my job apps, w/ a rejection letter AT BEST! ).

A week later, I received a rejection letter in the mail (no surprise there) . . . but the same day, I got an email from the (non-profit organization's) director, saying they wanted to offer me the job!

...but there was a problem: at the time they interviewed me, they told me that---because of federal regulations---no one who took the position they were offering, could work any OTHER jobs.

Yours Truly, on the other hand, had already made a commitment to a (very) short-term, (very) part-time teaching job (great experience, though limited in time&compensation). Was this going to be a problem? They told me they would get back to me....(this was at the time of the interview: a month ago, remember).

They never did get back to me about my dilemma . . . but then offered me that job (which, in itself, wasn't All That: a "VISTA/AmeriCorp" "volunteer opportunity": full-time hours, for peanut wages . . . but it would provide some health insurance, which I currently lack ).

Oy vey: this story is already going on and on? Welcome to my world!

Anyway, to make a long story short(er), this past Monday, they formally told me, that if I kept my commitment to my other employer, I would have to turn them down (which I did).

All this time, they kept me hanging on . . . only to pull the rug out at the end.

GG Hence, the Crappy Feelings Out

...and now I STILL don't have a job, beyond the short-term one. (September to Mid-October, basically). And all the S~T~R~E~S~S that goes with that lack-of-job. Argh!

Please, keep me in your thoughts&prayers, everybody? Thanks!

[skittles]

Gatito Grande wrote:[blockquote]Please, keep me in your thoughts&prayers, everybody? Get on your knees and Thanks! [/blockquote]
GG, of course you are in my thoughts & prayers... always

In good times & in bad!!

[cantbefredless]

i hate life soo badly, right now im ina pissed off mood but acting like im a good mood because my dad calling me crying about everything... and wanting to call my mom and they got into a fight with me in the middle freaking me out and im the only one so far who hasnt cried yet or broken down.. but everytime i watch a movie or listen to usic i almost cry i mean last night a almst broke down watching fantastic four, then almost crying when i said bye to my dad this morning.. i hate it tonight i punch a fence almost broke my phone twice and right now i feel like finding the bottle of Vodka and downing just cause everytime someone needs something they turn to me.. its like why cant people do shit for them selvles and not ask me i wish i could just diseaper forever... but one thing good did happen Amberlover called and text me which put me ina good mood before my dad call me

[MochaVamp]

Arrggghhh, just such a crappy week dealing with hypocrites. I'm need to destress this weekend.

[Boschi]

Editted (Ok, Ok, deleted) because my little temper tantrum blew over and I cringed when I reread the original message.

Heh. Sorry - will stand by my future grumbles.

Apologies,

An embarrassed Boschi

[Floyd]

I'm all sweaty and yucky and it's BAD. Pleh.

But that shall be made better soon by showerness. Woooooooo.

[Sandman78]

Headache behind my eyeballs...go away!!!

[Krokador]

I dont know if thats exactly a crappy feeling, but I feel the need to rant while I still can do something o.o

http://krokador.iquebec.com/poorface3.jpg

the wreck that is my face after meeting with the ground at high speed after losing control on my bike going downhill... It friggin hurts, for one thing.

And since yesterday afternoon when I went to lay down to rest my eye, I hvent had the slightest sense of balance in me, as if someone had knocked over that thing in my ear. I feel sick and dizzy the minute im not lying down, or when i move too fast. It's even worse than the burning scratches I have all over my body :(

And to add to the torture, i lost part of one of my tooth's filling when crashing, so I cant eat on that side, and just having the slighest pressure on my tooth makes me wanna scream in pain...

[Hers Always]

I got my puppy a few months ago. me and my girlfriend were living in a two bedroom. so we were able to put him in the second bedroom at night, cuz he cries so much. well now we are in a one bedroom and we have to keep him separated from the cat cuz all he wants to do is to play with her. so he stays in our room cuz he cries if he doesn't. but then after a couple of hours he cries cuz he wants to play and wants attention. so my girlfriend said that we had to get rid of him. we can't keep losing sleep. and i understand. but i'm still sad cuz i don't want to give away my puppy. i love my puppy.

[Leaf]

My cousin died last week. Her cancer progressed really quickly. Not all of her family were able to make it there in time to say goodbye. Her baby (thank you universe for the miracles you do grant) is doing well, and will be able to go home with his dad soon.

It's such a strange disconnected grieving that happens when you are far away from family during crisis and loss. My heart is aching for my aunt and my cousin's husband, and for this baby who is never going to get to know his mom, but it's hard to find my own connection to this loss. I keep feeling swamped with this yearning I feel in my bones for my own family - wanting each of them, in all their crazy-making glory, right close to me.

Thank you to all the kittens who have been sending thoughts and prayers. They've been appreciated beyond measure.

[LesbianJedi87]

She make's my stomach all acidy. Like I could throw up everything Ive ever ate in my life, and then go into a fit of rage and go punch a wall or something. :\

[beanie]

My dog can't live with us anymore since we moved, so we might have to give her away. But no one will take her because she's kind of old now. Old enough that no one will adopt her but not old enough to put down.

Also, my family doesn't have enough money for me to go to college. I don't know how to help and it's busting my head.

[cantbefredless]

im completly numb.. i dont know whats real or whats not anymore... everybody says i should go out and get a life.. but i cant with no money or a car... im stuck here forever like this

[FineyMcFine]

What the hell is the matter with Orkin? Quit being so bureaucratic and annoying, and quit calling my house at 8am. We had an appointment for August 11. I don't care if it messes with your billing since August 11 is not in the current quarter - that's not my problem. Just shut the fuck up and keep the goddamn appointment. This is the second time you've called me to try to change the date. Fuck off. I have half a mind to dump your ass and call a locally-owned pest control company.

PS: Fuck off.

[NewRuthRising]

Oh thank GOD! Somewhere to rant at last! Everyone I know is getting pissed off with me.

So for the last year and a half I've had back and leg pain that been getting steadily worse. I've had blood tests, an MRI and am now awaiting surgery on my spine. I recieved physiotherapy at the local hospital (from a bunch of incompetant idiots) but it didn't help and eventually the idiots gave up. I haven't been to work in eight months. I have to take sleeping pills because my sleep cycle is so screwed up I've practically gone nocturnal. I'm on anti-imflammatories that make me sick and painkillers that're addictive and don't work enough. A few weeks ago I accidentally overdosed, spent three solid hours vomiting and then had a huge nosebleed (while asleep). Incidentally, laughing, coughing, sneezing and especially vomiting hurt like HELL. after that I had to stop taking medication of any kind to allow my system to recover. I was unable to walk and went so long without sleep that I began hallucinating (I'd always thought that was a myth). I'm back on the drugs which screw up my insides something rotten. I'm bored out of my skull (thank gods for the kitten board!) and my operation isn't scheduled till October, despite the fact that I was told it'd be in the summer. I'm now on a cancellation list which means if someone cancels I have to go into hosptial on very short notice. Adding insult to injury, I developed a fierce hatred and phobia of hospitals after seeing my mother on life support shortly before her death, seven years ago.

Oh yeah, and I've just turned 19. I'm having something of a pre-pre-pre midlife crisis.

[LesbianJedi87]

I dont feel good at ALL today and I reaallllllyyy miss my girlfriend....

[NewRuthRising]

Seven years. Fuck me.


Today feels like any other day. Except it isn't. The numbers are tainted and taste like ash, and I'm so angry at the world for turning, for going on with it's business instead of tearing apart with the force of grief. How many other people have died on this day? How many with die today? And our great Mother Earth just keeps pirouetting through the sky like the lump of stone that she is.


I watched the sky last night as it faded through it's various colours, and there came a point where the sky became a curtain, a veil over the human race, keeping us constrained and hiding the heavens from view. I raged at it. The sky, the earth, the very elements conspiring to keep me from


I can't write it. How bizarre. Normally I can talk about it with agonising honesty, but today, I can't even bear to type it.


Life goes on, for some, and I have to live in the world, so if you'll excuse me, I need to wash up.

[Floyd]

I've just been asked to present medals in the rowing event at the Commonwealth Games this weekend. Problem is I'm gonna be on holiday. GAH!

[kisstheviolets]

okay, i need to vent. i'm horribly unhappy. with work, my financial situation, and life generally. aside from the work drama though, nothing catastrophic has happened to me or anyone i love recently, but there is still this overwhelming sense of hopelessness that i feel. i have some health issues that need to be attended to but i can't seem to get myself to get in to see the various doctors that i need to see. i'm ridiculously avoidant (and probably in denial) when it comes to seeing doctors for certain things. but mainly, as with most things lately, i'm kind of gripped by a paralysis of inaction. all i can seem to do at the moment is concoct a variety of plans that all result in me checking out from my life in massachusetts for a time and heading home to my mom's place in california until i take the bar exam in february. it's going to take a substantial amount of money to do that, however. if i can hold out until december it'd totally be doable. but i just don't know if i can tough it out that long. i just feel so lost and can't find my way back because i suddenly don't know where i'm going.

[HalfCamel]

I'm about to write my dad an unplesant letter because when I talk to him I get really frustrated and angry and I never say what I mean, or everything that I want to. I don't know how he's going to take it. I'm nervous. And so tired of all this crap that's been happening for the last three years. I want it to be over so we can all move on with our lives.

[NewRuthRising]

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!

I HATE being female sometimes.

[Sn0wflak3]

*huge hugs for Ruth*

[FineyMcFine]

Grrrrr. I am frustrated that a check I mailed a week ago still hasn't arrived, so they say. GRRRRR.

[Leaf]

My great job interview today kinda sucked. Or rather, the interview went fine, but the job was not what I was led to believe. I wish dissappointment didn't feel quite so much like depression. Poop.

[Bound2Her]

I miss my girlfriend. :\