Partner says she loves me, then cheats & leaves

[Beth_NJ]

Hi, my now ex-partner & I have posted on the board, mainly in pens, on & off for years. This is a new name because well, for now I don't want to be connected with the previous ones. That being said, if anyone has any advice or words of wisdom I could certainly use them.:

My partner of 5 years cheated on & then dumped me. Only 2 weeks after her birthday when we had a wonderful romantic time full of proclamations of love & desire & only hours after leaving my arms she cheated on me. The woman she cheated with, had met me & I'd told my former love that I thought the woman was interested in her. She told me I was wrong & why would it matter, I should trust her. Fool that I was, I did. She told me about it a week later. She told me she wasn't in love with me & hadn't been for a long time, despite the fact that she always told & showed me she was. She then told me that though she wasn't in love with me, she loved me more then anything, that I loved her better then anyone ever had, that though the other woman could learn from me in bed, she didn't want me in bed but she wanted me to stay in her life, wanted to be in mine, come & stay with her whenever I wanted, (but stay in the guest room) be her best friend, keep her secrets, while she still dated & slept with the new woman or anyone else. She had no understanding of how unfair that was, how much pain she was putting me through, She wanted it all; me there to care for her, love her, be her best friend & still sleep around while I watched 5 years of a committed, loving (or so I foolishly thought) relationship, that started with meeting on this board, tossed aside like yesterday's trash, without even a consideration of trying to save it or save me additional pain. I guess she didn't want to miss a moment of dating time. So she tossed me & my feelings aside along with all the promises of a forever future together we had always given each other & I had always kept, trusted & had faith in... so not sure of anything anymore.

“A shot in the dark I woke up to find, You had broke all the rules
And you changed your mind, Didn't I love you good, Didn't I love you right”,

[tabula rasa]

I just joined the board, was just looking through stuff, seeing what was where, written and stuff and your post caught my eye. This is my first post ever and I see no one else responed so hope it's okay to do so and I'm not suppose to be doing this privite or something. If I should sorry. I was moved by what you said and wanted to tell you. I know time has past since you first posted this and I hope you have gotten better. Also hope she hasn't. I could tell, when you posted you had feelings for her but she does not deserve them. I've been through some relationships and break ups but couldn't believe how awful yours was and felt so bad for you as I read it. I can't even imagine being treated like that and I don't know you but no one could have deserved that. Hope you are better now.

[tabula rasa]

Hi Beth,

I just saw and commented on your post on your "Coming Back" thread on Pens. Wanted to leave a post here too to again say you've been really good through all this, thinking even of readers here while you're ex obviously just thinks of herself. No wonder she goes by anon, who'd want people to know who they are when they act like her. You hopefully know she is just a bitch who doesn't deserve you, isn't worth your (or anyones') love or tears and that karma is also a bitch so she'll eventually get hers. Hang in there and if you want to chat, just PM me.

Happy Holidays,
TR

PS: Is your ex still in NJ at the same job? Because that really blew me away that she could be that and you are too nice to wreck it for her. Good for you, we need more good people to balance out the crappy ones out there!