Poems

[Juliejames]

This won’t hurt a bit …


This won’t hurt a bit.
I’ll only cut you open with a scalpel.
Don’t worry. It’s not a big deal.

This won’t hurt a bit.
I’ll only have access to your heart.
Don’t worry. I’m trying to help you.

Those words whispered in a quiet tone,
As if the silence is comfortable
Against a backdrop of blinding white
And coldness and the smell of death.

I didn’t even know death had a smell.
Or that you could see it in someone’s eyes.
But I see it in her eyes now
And I can’t get away from it.

Even the flowers are wilting,
Blood-red petals tinged with black.
I set them on the windowsill,
But it didn’t change anything.

Maybe that’ll be me soon
If I don’t get out of here.
Give me back my heart
But the lights are fading away.

This won’t hurt a bit
That was a bitter lie
She cut me open with a scalpel.
Don’t worry. It’s not a big deal.

This will hurt more then you know
She had access to my heart.
Don’t worry. I can’t feel anymore anyhow

[Juliejames]

Escapism for the Twisted


Eyes that see right through these feeble disguises-
Well I’m all wrapped up in a cloud of smoke with
Alcohol on my breath and blood shot eyes,
Blurry vision, and tangled veins with
A poison sinking deeper just longing to escape.

Copper mess, with sweat and death
The stench of you covered up with perfume
And for another day I’ll lie here,
Dripping and slipping on a life not worth living,
With a bullet in my hands and
Naked flesh, abused and bruised.

Well chemical pollution and oil spill,
But you’re such a drag [just let it out, breathe it in]
And lately razorblades pave a path
To ecstasy and lust I can’t control,
The desire for just one more night
[Free of demons, free of you]

And I’m not okay, we’re not all right,
And for another day I’ll lie here,
Dripping and slipping on a life not worth living,
Well I’m all wrapped up in cherry-coated pain
A make-believe razor for decimated veins
A poison sinking deeper, I’m longing to escape…you.

[Juliejames]

Away


I’m drowning in my own world
Of hatred
Haunting thoughts
And through the alcohol flavor that constantly exists in my mouth as of resent
I can still taste her kiss
I can still feel her lips
And she tears me apart
I drink so not to feel
Yet I cant seem to stop the feelings that are ripping me to pieces
I can’t stand and I hardly remember my name
But I can’t forget her voice
Her scent
The feel of her skin pressed against mine
And her touch
Sent shocks straight into my core
And I can’t seem to forget
The nights we lay awake talking about nothing
Touching
Teasingly , listening to each other breathe
I can still hear her heart beat in my ears
And it still shakes me
She’s gone , off finding herself
Doing what she needs to do to make her life okay
While I’m sitting here trying not to go insane
Waiting
For her to change her mind
For her to come back home
And I’m drowning
In my own world
Of haunting thoughts
Haunting love

[Juliejames]

My heart still does


I gaze into the mirror
To make out all you left behind
Though no more than a small fragment
Am I able to see

My thoughts race back
To the day that my eyes
First landed upon
Your angelic silhouette

Such a beautiful lady
Strong yet gentle hands
soft skin
Silky hair

I don't miss you,
However, my heart still does.

The gentleness in your touch
Those passionate eyes that say I care
Lost in your embrace
Not knowing I should be scared

The comfort that I felt
As your strong arms held me close
A false sense of security
For your love was never real

Soon I would realize
As it all began to unfold
Treated as your slave
And no longer as your love

I don't miss you.
However, my heart still does.

First came the harsh words
Then those strong hands
Leaving oh the countless
Whelps upon my fair skin

What had I done to deserve this
Is this the price of love
I finally see what those strong arms were for
Not to hold me but to hold me down

As those hands of steel
Cause me to cry out
Then around my throat they are positioned
And no longer can I make a sound

I don't miss you,
However, my heart still does.

I gasp for air
As I glance and see Satan in your eyes
You're no longer you
What has made you become this way

My focus narrowing
A final gasp for air
Yet nothing comes into my lungs
As blackness overcomes me

I can now see you there
Holding my lifeless body and crying out
Pleading to God and asking for salvation
Screaming "My God" what have I done

As my eyes are consumed by the bright lights
The heaviness of my heart lifted away
My last request granted as I enter Heaven
I whisper in your ear

I don't miss you,
However, My Heart Still Does

[Juliejames]

Watch...


Suddenly, I still don't own a watch.

At present, to be precise
(Plus or minus several minutes),
outside of me and nothing
I have:
myself and I,
this table by the fence,
the last few minutes of my 20's,
no idea whatsoever,
and no more Chardonnay.
Wonder what will happen next

And a watch I don’t need



Prickling upon my flesh
The skin rises
I feel your scowling eyes

watching me

wanting me

waiting for me

to slip
betting that I will in time
And I will
break somehow

I see you standing
in the shadows of my mind


I strain now to write these words
the emptiness swelling within
funny how it can fill the space
but leave you with nothing
Feeling nothing
...
I wanted to believe in you
I still do
but everything is working against me
and you're helping it to

And I keep wondering what time it
Looking down at the watch I don’t have
Hoping the time passes faster
But it doesn’t
It never does
Slow when I want it fast
Fast when I want it slow

These days I don’t want it slow
I wish it would just go by
Day into night and so on


...
passing over my dark, ominous eyes
is a storm of impressive size


as even heartless angels try not to cry

(amazing isn’t it heartless angels what would you consider that)

I wonder if this storm will ever pass
or if my life will forever be, overcast

Fascinating really if I sit back and look at everything that has happened

I attract drama
Heartbreak
Hate

You keep talking in my deafened ears
And I keep looking for my watch …

[Juliejames]

Unbound

she said those little words
they whisper in my ears, lightly
because the words, her words are
unbound.
She’s not defending herself.
Or arguing
It’s all just a matter of fact, after all

but despite simplicity, in the answer
lies only more questions, silenced before
we could taste the wind as we could taste each other
silent as I looked up
from where my shoes are kicking through
the damp leaves, their color and vitality
drained away into the gutters, brown and
red, running together, conjoined but
never reconciled, all as if Fall had slit her wrists.
and I'm walking beside her , wondering
why I don't know everything
I'm looking at her she doesn't know
I turn away
but glanced again
I sense her longing
I could not bear to look no more
A shudder rips me to my spine
her body pressed next up to mine
And there it was, a moment lapsed
my heart has nearly collasped
she slips her hand in mine
taunting me with everything I could have
I can't stop the shivers
that are tearing through me
into her
I know she feels this too
she fed
my curiosity with her eyes—meeting mine.
and like a forgotten kiss
the taste
heat
feel
we move towards another step
in life
on this fall walk
in what ever it is we have started
we don't know
where this might lead
and her smile kills every part of me
breaks me down to the simplest I've ever been
and I look into her deep brown eyes
for just a moment
because it seems she always looks away
and I can tell she wants more to this
More I'll give
She said those little words
and I can't seem to turn away
we walk along
this fallen leave filled ground
not knowing where we're going ..

[Juliejames]

Well everyone those are my poems , well just a handful of what I have written , I've published a few , though they aren't that good but they are me , the last one , Unbound is my Fav .....

anyhow I hope you like them , if so let me know if you think there is anything i should do to change them let me know ... again thanks so much


Jules....

[SJ]

Powerful words,great poems.

[Juliejames]

Thank you SJ for your lovely feedback

[barnabasvamp]

Wonderful expressions of feelings usually does lead to intense writing, and these are good.

I liked "My Heart Still Does" , so full of emotion.

BV

[Juliejames]

Shouldn’t Have



I loved you when I shouldn’t have
Loved you in places we shouldn’t have loved

I touched you when I shouldn’t have
I touched you and strangely it left marks on me
It burned my finger tips permanently
Scaring me
Though
I touched you when it hurt to much to do anything else

I kissed you and I eased my soul
I slowed my brain
I felt the pains melt away

I looked into your eye’s and I shouldn’t have
I seen so much inside
I saw my future without you in those deep dark eye’s
I looked into those eye’s and I felt my heart move
For the very first time

I let you in and I shouldn’t have
I let you in and you swept me off my feet
I let you reach right into my soul

And you kept on reaching right through
Right through till you had every part of me
Inside the palm of your hands

You shouldn’t have

I watched you and I shouldn’t have
I watched you as you moved
As you moved against my body
I watched as we moved together
When no one else was around and we
We were the only two
And we
We were all that mattered
We
We had all the time in the world on those cold nights
We had each other , at the time that’s all that mattered

I watched you as you ruined it
I shouldn’t have
I watched you through the tears that blinded me

The ones that stung behind my eye’s
And I knew from the moment I met you
It would end this way

We loved when we shouldn’t have
We had our time
We shouldn’t have
Together we melted the world away
Away from beneath our feet
Away from the back of our minds
Away from everyone else that never really mattered

We loved
We loved
In ways neither of us had ever loved
And we shouldn’t have

I let you in and I shouldn’t have
I let you in to tear me apart
And you did
And if I could go back and rewind the clock
And just back away
Run away
When I could have ?

I wouldn’t have

I’d let you in
Still
Even though I know I shouldn’t

If I knew everything that was to come
I’d let you in
I’d let you reach in and touch my soul
Remove it once again with your cold and distant hands

I’d let you leave your finger prints once again
I’d let you ruin everything I am once again

I’d let you

I would do it all again

But I shouldn’t have

[SJ]

Great poetry.

[mmmh-Hot-Sauce]

i really like the last one. its very deep and meaningful.

[Blue_Night2010]

wow...great poems...