sam: Sucked in? That's awesome. I get sucked in writing it sometimes, so it's good to know that that fever is getting spread around some.
beautifultrgdy: banana dancing! High praise indeed! Do I still get another even if the update wasn't necessarily "real soon" in coming?
kieli: And more you shall have...
wilgen: Thanks! Glad you're still enjoying it.
kathryn: I was worried about how to handle Jay, since he's not a bad guy, just barking up the wrong tree. I didn't want to make him into a villain, so I'm glad it didn't come off that way.
It's entirely possible that after I'm done with this draft I might add some detail to the Taryn/Krista daytrips, and some more interaction in general. You make an interesting point about me not showing the two of them together too much, and that may be something that I'll need to go back and look at. I think I've been hesitant to show them together too much because I fear it would get into a lot of really intolerable moaning and groaning about unrequited love. I don't know that I'm good enough at subtlety to pull it off in detail, and I feel it's important not to hit the reader over the head with emotion and intent of this story.
Lastly, I think many of us have been in the situation of wanting/caring about someone in a way that isn't returned. I commend your ability and desire to still be a part of this girl's life even though it must sometimes be very hard, but from my own experience there's something also very satisfying and romantic about unrequited love. Or maybe I'm just a masochist.
All that having been said, without further ado....
*************************************
Title: Play It From the Heart
Author: Big Dummy (aka Stevie)
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: This is an original story. All characters belong to me. It depicts a romantic relationship betwen two high school girls. Nothing sexual, pure soppy romance. Think Diane Salvatore and Nancy Garden. But not as good. Any similarities between Krista and Taryn and any other characters/rl people is purely coincidental.
Copyright Stuff: I think it goes without saying, but please do not reproduce this piece of original fiction anywhere without my permission. It's my baby. Questions and requests can be directed to the email address in my profile.
Extra: My first time writing an original story, hopefully not my last. Also my first time posting any creative attempt here, or anywhere. It's not done yet, but it's at 177 pages so far, so by the time we get to where I stopped...well, hopefully it'll be done.
************************************
Taryn absently thumbed through the magazine, her eyes skimming over the pictures. Band practice was over and she was due to go out later that evening with TJ and Krista- the usual Saturday night plans- and was passing the time in between. She contemplated going over to Krista’s and seeing what she was up to. Her homework was done and she was just plain bored. She had just decided to motivate and head over when there was a knock at her door. Without glancing up she said, “Come in.”
She heard the door open and footsteps announced someone entering. “What’s up?” she asked, still skimming her magazine. She expected it to be Jay, but when she finally looked up in annoyance at her visitor’s continued silence it was TJ who stood in the doorway, hands thrust in his pockets, watching her.
“Hey,” she said in greeting, surprised. “I didn’t expect you till later. What are you doing here so early?” She asked the question even though she thought could guess why he would show up earlier than necessary. He had been much more interested in sex over the past month than usual, and had taken to making advances toward her every time they were alone together.
He surprised her by saying, “We need to talk.” His tone unnerved her, and as she gazed at him more carefully she noted the determined set of his mouth, and the sadness in his eyes. She laid her magazine aside. This wasn’t going to be a conversation of the good variety.
Sitting up she moved to the edge of the bed and waited. Taking his cue he stepped into the room and made his way over to her. He sat on the bed next to her, and she noticed that he did not touch her as he usually would have. She swallowed, her heart beginning to beat fast.
“I don’t really know how to do this,” he began. “You and me…I think we’ve gone pretty much as far as we’re going to go. I’m…I’m moving into the city, try and really get into my art thing.”
Taryn stared at him for a moment before she managed to sputter, “Are you breaking up with me?”
“Basically…yeah.”
She shook her head as if trying to force understanding into her brain. “Wait a minute…why?”
TJ lifted his hands palms up and shrugged, his expression suggesting that there were too many reasons to name. “Seriously, T, be honest with yourself. Why would we continue? Things have changed so much between us. I mean, I know you were never big into the physical stuff, but you’ve never all-out avoided it like you have been lately. You make me feel like I disgust you. And you never want to spend time alone with me anymore.”
“What do you mean? I---“
“When was the last time we went out without Krista?” he challenged. Taryn’s mouth clamped shut as she thought back through the past few weeks. She
had taken to inviting Krista along with them a lot, but what was wrong with that? So she wanted her friends to like each other and get along; why was that wrong? What was wrong with trying to give Krista some support in the dating category? As soon as the thoughts crossed her mind, she had to admit that they sounded lame. They sounded like excuses.
“So this is about sex?” she asked, deciding that for the moment it was the easiest point to stick to.
He sighed. “No, and you know that. It’s not not about sex, though. What guy wants to feel like his girlfriend doesn’t enjoy sex with him?” He paused and looked at her. She knew that he wanted her to interject and tell him that she did enjoy sex with him, but she wasn’t about to lie. This time was very much about honesty, so she met his eyes with a steady gaze. He looked away with another sigh, this one sad and final.
“So…that’s it. I don’t know what you’re into, but it’s clearly not me.” He stood and she held out a hand to restrain him.
“Wait a minute,” she protested. “That’s it? I mean, what, are we never going to see each other again? We’re not going to be friends? We’re just going to pretend like we never knew each other?”
TJ shook his head in disbelief. “I was falling in love with you,” he explained. “It’d be really hard for me to just be friends with you right now.” He turned away from her and stepped towards the door. Taryn watched him go, her mind feverishly processing everything that was happening. He hesitated and shook his head as if fighting off an urge to turn back, but he did not. “Bye T.” With that he was gone.
Taryn didn’t know how long she sat motionless on her bed, staring at the closed door and replaying their conversation. She struggled to get a grasp on the horde of emotions raging through her. She knew she hadn’t been in love with him, but where were the tears, the outpouring of grief and remorse; where was the hurt? She had just been dumped for the first time. Not for the first time she wondered if she was missing something internally, the kind of something that would have sent a normal teenage girl into fits of weeping.
She roused herself and glanced at the clock. Krista would be on her way over soon, unaware that the evening’s plans had changed. Taryn considered calling, but the idea of getting out of the house and out of her head was appealing. She also, she realized, really wanted to see Krista at that moment, and why not? That’s what friends were for. Maybe she would be good to talk to.
Taryn rose and slipped into her Tevas. She started down the stairs and towards her front door, replaying the scene of her dumping in bemusement. She didn’t notice her mother standing in the doorway to the kitchen watching her until she stepped in front of her and startled her out of her reverie. “Honey?” she questioned, laying a light hand on Taryn’s forearm. “Are you okay?”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I totally didn’t see you.”
“Is everything alright? I saw TJ leave not long ago and…he seemed sort’ve upset,” Cheryl ventured.
“Yeah. We um…sorta broke up.”
“Oh.” They stared at each other for a moment. Her mother’s eyes searched her face, looking for a hint of what was going on in her head.
She shuffled her feet, uncomfortable under the scrutiny, and looked away. “I’m going to go over to Krista’s, let her know we’re not going out tonight.”
“Okay,” her mother said nodding her head, and Taryn slipped past her and out of the house.
*************************************
Krista’s parents were surprised when Taryn showed up at their front door. The increasing amount of time that their daughter had been spending with the older girl had not escaped their attention, but the Hoffa residence was not the girls’ preferred setting. Taryn had only been inside their home on one occassion, and that visit had not seen her go any further than the living room. Even still, they welcomed her warmly enough and pointed the way to Krista’s room.
Taryn wandered up the stairs, past an open door that revealed a tidily made king-sized bed. She glanced in out of curiosity before continuing down the hall and stopping in front of a closed door. Strains of bass emanated from the room, and she stood listening for a long time before she shook herself out of her daze, realizing that she was in effect spying on her friend. She knocked on the door and the playing stopped immediately, followed by Krista’s voice calling out: “Come in.”
Krista didn’t move from her position on the floor in front of her make-shift recording studio; the thought that it could be anyone other than one of her parents never crossed her mind, and she planned to continue what she was doing as soon as they were done with whatever parental duty was on the docket for the day. Needless to say, when Taryn peeked around her door, Krista was more than a little shocked.
“Hey!” she greeted with a quick glance at the clock. Nope, she still had another half an hour or so before she was due at Taryn’s house.
“Sorry. Am I interrupting?” Taryn asked as she stepped further into the room.
“No, no.” Krista stood hastily and put her bass back in its stand. “Come on in.”
Taryn stepped into the room, taking in Krista’s room. Krista realized that this was the first time Taryn had been in her room, and her eyes scanned her bed and floor for sign of anything that might be embarrassing; a stray pair of underwear, a loose tampon…one of her lesbian romance novels. Relieved that all incriminating items seemed to be hidden away, she returned her attention to her guest.
“So, um, what’s up?” she asked, trying to modulate her voice so that the question did not sound as if she were unwelcome.
“I wanted to let you know that the party’s cancelled. At least, I’m not going, and TJ’s not going…” Taryn trailed off.
“Oh.” Krista sat on her bed. She wasn’t sure if she was disappointed or not. She had never been certain that she even wanted to go to the party in the first place, but as always: any excuse to hang out with Taryn. Taryn, who happened to seem a little unlike her usual self. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Taryn sighed and helped herself to a seat on the floor. “TJ and I broke up.” The statement came out as more of a question.
“Oh.” Krista cursed her lack of command of the English language. Taryn’s presence always reduced her to monosyllables for what felt like forever before her raging hormones allowed her to settle into a normal interaction. She hoped like hell that it would get easier with time.
Taryn laughed out loud at her friend’s reaction. “‘Oh?’” Krista blushed at her understatement. “That’s what my mom said too.”
“Do you wanna…do you wanna talk about it?”
Taryn shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s stupid.” She leaned back on her hands and gazed at the floor.
“Might help.” Krista stood and took the few steps necessary to bring her within arms length of the door. Leaning over she extended her arm and sent the door swinging shut with one light shove. She returned to her seat on the bed and with a brave flourish that she did not feel said, “Okay, spill it!”
“You want the long or short?”
“If we’re not going to the party anyway, might as well make it long.”
“Well, I kinda lied earlier. We didn’t break up as much as TJ…dumped me.” She looked down at the floor again with a small shake of her head. “He said we weren’t spending enough time together anymore.”
Krista digested this information, nodding her head in sympathy, although in truth, she was a little confused. After their heart-to-heart in Taryn’s bedroom, Krista had expected Taryn to break up with him long ago, and had watched in disappointment and puzzlement as the relationship had continued. They had never spoken of it again, and she had never gotten up the nerve to ask. Krista felt a little guilty that she was thinking those things, not to mention feeling some small glee that it was over. I guess I won’t be feeling like a third wheel any more. As soon as the thought had crossed her mind she made the connection between TJ’s words and the reality of the past month. She had been spending a lot of time with Taryn…and TJ. Could she be the reason…?
“It has nothing to do with you,” Taryn assured her, reading her expression. “I mean, yeah, we’ve been having a lot of group activities lately but…really, it wasn’t working out anyway. Long before tonight, but you know that.”
Krista nodded in acknowledgement; she did know that. It was clearly the reason Taryn could sit there, talking with her so in such a calm and emotionless way about it. Man, if I’d just gotten dumped I’d be miserable.
“Can I tell you something?”
Krista nodded and leaned forward. Taryn’s tone indicated that they were about to have another deep conversation, and her heart surged. Even if they were talking about Taryn’s relationships, she cherished the fact that she was being taken into her confidence, trusted.
“I’m so fucked up. I don’t even know how to feel about it. It’s like, on the one hand, I kinda feel a little relieved, y’know, cause we were more friends than anything else, and not being ‘together’ takes the pressure off, y’know? But then I feel bad because he was so…sad. And I think I must be this awful person to feel relieved when he feels so bad. And so I feel bad, but for the wrong reason, y’know? And what really sucks about this is that I lose the boyfriend, which I’m not upset about, but I also lose my friend, which is pretty shitty. I must not be human.”
The two girls sat in silence in the wake of Taryn’s words. Krista started to say something several times, but nothing came out. How did you respond to something like that? There was nothing she could say that would not sound inane or trite. She decided that the best thing she could do under the circumstances was to just be there.
Seconds passed that felt like minutes before Taryn looked up from the floor and seemed to come back to herself. She smiled gamely at Krista. “Sorry about that. Thanks for listening.”
“No problem.” Krista watched her, seeking to take a cue from her behavior.
“But, enough about me and my romantic problems,” Taryn said, reaching over and tapping Krista’s bass. “What were you playing when I came in?”
Krista did a double-take at the abrupt change in conversation. “Nothin’ much. Just fooling around.”
“Nothin’ much? It sounded really good.” Krista watched as Taryn looked again at the bass again, and this time her eyes lingered on the shelf behind the bass stand. Krista watched helplessly as she pushed herself up onto her knees to get a better look. She’s going to see the digital recorder and then she’s going to ask---
“Do you record? Do you write your own stuff?” Taryn was now standing, fingering the rudimentary equipment. “Were you playing your own stuff?”
Krista stood and moved protectively to her equipment. “I fool around some.”
Taryn turned to look at her. “Can I hear some?”
Krista’s mouth opened and closed. She did not know how to avert the direction this was going in, or how to get Taryn off the trail. She had never shared her music with anyone, and she had not gone into the evening expecting to be doing it tonight.
When Krista finally started to produce sound, Taryn cut her off, her face showing her amusement at her predicament. “Come on, you gotta share with me. You hear my music all the time.”
“That’s different,” Krista retorted. “You want me to hear your music.”
“What’re you afraid of?” Taryn reached over and hit the rewind button. Krista looked at her in indignation, indignation which faded in the light of her cute smile. Ah hell.
“It’s not very good.” She began making her disclaimers as she watched the counter roll back. “It’s still in the beginning stages, y’know, I’m still working out the kinks.” The snapping sound of the counter reaching its end sounded louder than ever before, and she glanced nervously at Taryn once more before pushing the play button. Taryn sat back down on the floor with a satisfied thump, leaning back on her hands again and letting her head loll to one side as she listened. Krista fidgeted by the machine, and as the first notes started to emanate from the speakers she could not stop her mind from critiquing her song as only creators can. She winced at every perceived missed note, and passages that she had thought of as creative and fluid sounded stiff and typical to her ears, causing her to groan out loud in embarrassment.
Taryn sighed and reached over to grab her hand. Her sudden firm grip took Krista by surprise, and she gasped as she found herself being propelled towards the floor. She came to the ground with a light oomph, Taryn’s other hand gripping her waist and helping to slow her descent so that she landed unharmed. “Cut it out,” Taryn admonished. “You’re interfering with my listening.” She withdrew her hands from Krista’s person and leaned back again, cocking an eyebrow in warning against any further comments.
Krista sat quietly; her wrist tingled where Taryn had touched her, and she was sure that if she lifted her shirt, her skin would bear an imprint of Taryn’s fingers where she had held her so briefly. At that moment she wanted very much to be alone, to be allowed to contemplate and bask in that feeling. She was forced instead to sit in double-agony: Taryn’s fingers on her skin wreaking havoc on her emotions, and the sound of her music putting her on edge.
Finally, mercifully, the last note of the song faded away, and Krista moved to turn off the machine before the next one began. She turned to find Taryn shaking her head, looking at her in disappointment.
“That was fantastic,” she complimented. “I’d love to hear more.” Krista demurred, shrugging her shoulders. “Is it really that hard?” Krista shrugged again, drawing a sigh from Taryn. “Alright. I’m not gonna force you.”
Krista bowed her head. In truth she wanted Taryn to hear her music. She wanted to get the other girl’s opinion about it. She of course thought it was wonderful, way deep inside, but she was realistic about her talent and knew she could very well be full of it. Rolling her eyes, she jabbed the Play button again and sat down.
Ten minutes later she jumped up again to press the Stop button, and turned with anxious eyes to Taryn, who had been silent the entire time. Taryn met her eyes, a slow smile spreading. “Wow,” she breathed. “You’ve got some awesome ideas. Why haven’t you ever brought this stuff to rehearsal?”
“I didn’t know if you guys would like it or not,” she explained. The excuse, which had served her well in her head, now sounded lame when uttered aloud.
“Well, I’m pretty sure we’ll like it,” Taryn sad with conviction. “And I’m pretty sure I’m mentioning this at our next rehearsal.” Krista sighed. She had expected nothing less. “So…can I work on lyrics for this? Is that okay?”
Krista balked. She did not want to be the center of attention, but she also was not about to give up creative control of her music. “Um, actually…I kinda have lyrics already.”
Taryn closed her eyes for a second, a small sound coming from her mouth. “You write too?” Krista nodded humbly. The revelations were dropping by the minute. “Can I read them?” She looked around, trying to search out a notebook or pad of paper that looked a likely suspect.
Krista colored, thinking of how very gender specific her songs were. “Actually--I mean – I haven’t really ever shown them to anyone…” Taryn gave her a pleading look. “It’s not really a big deal,” Krista said weakly.
Taryn’s sigh was deep and dramatic. She got to her feet with exaggerated slowness. “Figures. You don’t think you’re a big deal, and I think I’m too much of a big deal,” she mumbled. Krista barely heard it, but she caught enough to confuse her. What in the world does that mean, she wondered. Before she had time to contemplate it too much, Taryn had stepped closer to her, reaching out to grab her hands and looking intently into her eyes.
“You’re a part of the band, Krista. What you think, what you do –it matters. And even if you weren’t in the band, you’re my friend, so still, what you think and do matters.” She said all of this slowly, intent on getting her point across. “So, will you show me?”
Krista dropped her eyes, unable to hold the gaze that was making her heart flutter. She fought against a sudden desire to sit, to simply let her legs fold beneath her; she was sure that this had to be the most intense feeling she had ever had, and she couldn’t take it. Her words…the smooth, soft skin of Taryn’s hands pressed against her own, which she was sure had to be clammy. Could Taryn feel the rapid beating of her pulse in her hands? Could she tell the reaction she was causing? Oh God…
Taryn dropped the other girl’s hands and chuckled. “Now that I’m dying of curiosity? Friends don’t let friends die.” Krista almost choked at the sudden loss of intimacy, her throat convulsing as if she had just been robbed of air.
“Sure,” she mumbled, and made a quick decision. She hurried over to where her bass awaited her. Safe. Hold it together, Kris, hold it together. God, what is she doing to me? She picked the bass up, slinging the strap over her head, and turned on switches with expert flicks of her hand. She tested the tuning and when satisfied, joined Taryn on the bed – being sure not to sit too close.
“I get a live performance?” Krista shrugged. If Taryn was not going to let it go, then playing her songs for her seemed like the lesser of two evils. She could not let her just read them.
Taryn peered at her suspiciously. “You sing too?”
“I dabble a little---“
“God! All this time…Is there anything else?”
Actually, there’s this little matter…“No,” she said out loud. She plucked a few notes and breathed, clearing her thoughts and gathering her courage. She had only performed solo in front of a few people; Diana once, and her father. The personal nature of her lyrics made her self-conscious – not to mention that the song she was about to sing was written for and about Taryn. She doesn’t know that, she has no way of knowing, Krista reassured herself before taking a final deep breath and plunging into the song. She started off, her playing slow and faltering, aware of Taryn’s eyes on her. The sensation was strange; singing lyrics from her heart about the person she was singing to. It was like a scene from a bad movie. As she continued to play, however, her fingers found their route. They knew these songs by heart, and her playing smoothed out and began to flow. Her voice, which had started small and low, gained strength from the confidence of her fingers, and by the second chorus she played as if she were alone.
The song ended, and Taryn poked Krista, nodding her head at her to indicate that she should play some more. Seeing Taryn’s appreciative smile, Krista stamped down her lingering nervousness and played another song, which became another, and another. She did not need to ask if Taryn was enjoying it; her face spoke volumes, and by the next song she had started to join in on the choruses, harmonizing. Their voices blended together well, Krista’s higher soprano melding with Taryn’s alto. They did not notice the change from exhibition to collaboration as they began to work together on the songs, Taryn making suggestions and adding her touch to Krista’s work, nor did they notice the time pass.
***********************************
Jay reached across the table and snagged another fry off of Krista’s plate. She swatted his hand away and, glowering, said, “Look, I happen to like fries too. If you want some fries, order some.”
Ignoring her he munched and continued to address the group. “So, the rate sounds good, and he can fit us in next weekend. What do you think?”
There was thoughtful silence around the table for the first time that evening as the members of Q considered whether or not they were ready to record their demo. It was Tuesday evening and they had decided to meet up at Ray’s Deli prior to rehearsal to discuss band business and just hang out.
Krista glanced at Taryn out of the corner of her eye. She and Taryn had discussed the idea of bringing her music to the band, Taryn of course being more gung-ho about it than she. She half-hoped that she would just forget it and keep it between the two of them, but she knew better than that, and if she were to be honest, the other half of her wanted Taryn to bring it up. She was proud of her music, no matter how deep she tried to bury her ego, and thought it was worth their attention.
As if hearing her thoughts, Taryn rapped on the table and cleared her throat. “Actually,” she said, her voice official. “I’m thinking it might be a good idea to hold off on the demo until we’ve learned at least one of Krista’s songs.” She grinned at Krista sideways, and Krista sighed and slumped a little in the booth. Taryn flicked her lightly on the arm and waited for the others’ reactions.
Jay and Sergio looked between the two girls, bewildered. “What are you talking about?” Jay asked.
Taryn nudged Krista, encouraging her to speak up. Krista rolled her eyes at her, muttering, “You tell ‘em. You’re the one who’s excited about it.”
The boys watched the exchange impatiently until Sergio, fed up with the lack of information, turned to Krista for clarification. “Seriously, what’s going on?” he demanded. “Learn what music?”
“Um…I might have a song that maybe could go on the demo…if you guys liked it,” Krista said, the volume dropping until the last word was a whisper.
Taking pity on the girl, Taryn jumped in and said, “Krista’s got some songs to share with us. They’re really good. I was thinking we could try some of them out tonight and maybe use one for the demo.”
“What? You write?” Jay asked Krista incredulously. She nodded sheepishly; she knew exactly what his next question would be. “Why didn’t you tell us before?” She shrugged and offered him a small smile.
“I wasn’t sure you’d be interested,” she explained.
“Well, cool. New music. Can’t have too much of that,” Sergio stated with finality, and slurped contentedly on his shake. Jay shot him an annoyed look before turning to his sister.
“You’ve heard it?” he questioned.
She regarded him with a frown. He seemed perturbed by the revelation rather than excited at the prospect of having new material for the demo. “Yeah, she played it for me the other night,” she replied. “So, I’d love to get into Tony’s studio and record this weekend, but it would be cool if we could get one more song down, one of Krista’s, to put on the demo. And if we could re-work our old stuff and get her doing backing vocals and harmonizing.”
“It’s okay if we don’t have time,” Krista interjected.
“I don’t see why we couldn’t. I mean, no offense Krista, but how hard could it be?” Sergio asked, swallowing a mouthful of milkshake.
Jay continued to look at Taryn silently, contemplatively. She met his gaze with an annoyed look. “What’s your problem?”
He shook his head slowly. “Nothing. Just thinking. So,” he said, turning to Krista and drawing himself up with the air of someone who was changing the subject, “are you ready to bring them tonight?”
“Yeah,” she said simply. She felt a sense of disquiet at the strange interaction between the siblings. Things had seemed strained between them for a while, and their bickering had grown increasingly less friendly. She had the distinct feeling of missing out on something.
“Alright. I’ll book the studio for next weekend after next. Friday night through Sunday. Does that work for you guys?”
The group nodded with the exception of Sergio, who cleared his throat and said, “That’s perfect. We can use Carly’s party as a runthrough.”
“What?” Jay asked, his voice climbing an octave.
“Well, a little birdie named Carly came up to me today and asked if we wanted to play her Halloween party.”
His words were like a magic spell that worked on everyone except for Krista as Taryn smiled and clapped once in almost child-like excitement while Jay whooped, drawing stares from the restaurant’s other patrons; clearly playing at Carly’s party was a big deal. Krista glanced around, waiting for someone to fill her in.
“Hell’s yeah we’ll play at her party!” Jay exclaimed.
“If we get to play early,” Taryn added. “I want to be able to relax and have a good time, not worry about playing later.”
“No problem,” Sergio said. “She said they were having a DJ for the later part of the night, and we’d be the early act. So we can party,” he added with a wide grin.
“Alright,” Krista interrupted, tired of being in the dark. “Who, what, when, where, why?”
“Carly Myers throws these fuckin’ awesome parties,” Jay exclaimed excitedly. “Her parents are loaded, and it’s always huge, everyone’s there, and it’s just…the highlight of the year. Good job, Serg.” He gave him a high-five.
“He said he’d get us the gig,” Taryn said as she leaned over and gave him a high-five as well, “and he did. You the man!”
Sergio puffed out his chest and pursed his lips in imitation of a model and preened. “Yes…I am.” The table erupted in laughter. “But that means we have to get our shit together. The party’s next weekend, and we’re recording the weekend after. We’re gonna have to hustle through these next couple of weeks to get our set tight.”
They continued to talk about the party with excited gestures and the occasional exclamation. Krista listened on with interest, her mind racing ahead as her heart pounded in a pre-emptive panic attack; while this was a great opening gig for Q, it was much more than that for her. It was to be her first party of the year, at her new school, and she would be hanging with the cool kids. She listened to the details and her nervousness grew as she tried to imagine how she would fair in such an environment. From the sounds of it, this was not some fourth grade Halloween party. What would she wear? Who would she talk to? She supposed she could hang out with the band as much as possible, but they would probably all have dates. And how are you going to get your parents to let you go, she asked herself.
Krista snapped out of her cloud when she felt a pair of eyes on her. She met Taryn’s eyes and smiled, knowing she had been busted.
“Too much thinking,” Taryn said, lifting her eyebrow. Krista rolled her eyes and looked away.
Sergio glanced at his watch and noted that they should begin rehearsal soon. The group packed up their discarded wrappers and paper cartons and headed for the door. They piled into the Honda with no small amount of shoving and cursing. To a casual observer they looked like a group of close friends, and indeed the dynamic of the group had changed dramatically, at least in Krista’s eyes. She knew the others had always been like this, having known each other for years. She had just never considered that she might find herself a welcome member of the group, both musically and socially.
Her sense of contentment disappeared after setting up in Jay and Taryn’s basement. The rehearsal started with the same routines and patterns as always, but it didn’t take long for things to take a bad turn, at least in Krista’s opinion. She looked up after tuning her bass to find everyone looking at her expectantly.
“What?” she asked, glancing from face to face.
“Um, you wanna start?” Sergio prompted. She stared at him with a deer-in-the-headlights look. Taryn walked over to her and touched her arm in reassurance.
“Just go ahead and play what you played for me,” she encouraged, beckoning her to step to the microphone stand. “I’ll back you up.”
Krista nodded. Her fingers ran an agitated pattern across the strings of her bass and she continued to glance between the others for a moment more. It was only Sergio’s growing look of impatience that spurred her into action. She took a deep breath and moved to stand in front of the mic. It seemed to loom over her, much larger than it was. She cleared her throat and plucked a few experimental notes. With a final glance at Taryn, who was beaming at her with encouragement, she launched into her song.
The first note she sang made her flinch; her voice sounded so much larger than her in the acoustics of the room. She heard Jay lightly tapping on his drum kit, trying out the rhythm, as well as a few light strums from Sergio. She started to relax, closing her eyes and pretending that she was in her room, alone, just another run-through of a song she had played countless times before. She felt her lips form an irrepressible smile as she prepared to launch into the chorus, only to be derailed when she felt a presence close to her. She opened her eyes and found Taryn, standing mere inches away. Taryn leaned in close, her smiling eyes meeting Krista’s wide ones, and began singing along. Of course: they had practiced this vocal pairing and Krista should have known this was coming. There was, after all, only one mic.
They locked eyes for only a few seconds, but it seemed like forever. Krista stared at the woman who was causing her heart to thump painfully in her chest. Taryn’s easy smile faltered, a questioning look in her eyes. Krista looked down at her instrument, her voice faltering as she struggled to refocus her attention on the music and not on Taryn’s face, which was so close she could feel her breath against her cheek.
Taryn lowered her eyes, suddenly feeling stiff and uncomfortable. An inner voice taunted her that that had been happening with increasing frequency the more time she and Krista spent together. She must be catching, she joked to herself. She dismissed the strangeness of her reaction and finished up the chorus, melting away from the microphone with an unmistakable feeling of relief as the distance between the two of them increased again.
The song went into the second verse, and both girls were startled when Sergio and Jay began to play along at full volume; they had forgotten that they were even there. Krista couldn’t suppress the large grin that threatened to consume her face. This was her song, her music, as full and complete as she had imagined it. She listened closely to the others as she sang, loving the way the boys were adding to the song as if they were somehow inside her head. It couldn’t have sounded better if she had written their parts herself. She tried not to beam too much. It didn’t seem appropriate to be enjoying it as much as she was.
They continued through the song with only a few snags in the bridge where the chord structure was different from the rest of the song. The remaining choruses, however, went off without a hitch as both singers were now prepared for the proximity of sharing the microphone. Unbeknownst to one another, they had both reached the same resolve; they concentrated on the music and blocked out anything else, including each other. Only Taryn was left confused as to why that was even necessary.
*****************************
by StrangeQuark » Wed Dec 01, 2004 8:14 am 
. I love this story so much, when I read it I get sucked in and don't notice things going on around me..hehe 
woot! Happy banana dance for great wonderful spectacular updates! Once again, I'm totally lovin' this story and will gladly do another banana dance if you update again soon! 
There will be some rough times ahead for these two, but it wouldn't be a fluffy no-brainer romance if it didn't end well. 
..I loved this update..soo cute. Wonderful. Happy holidays 
. Love sam xx 
TL 
