Insanity Revealed

[intricate mirage]

Very interesting concept, nice poem

My whole life I've loved only one person, that person was you.

[ScarlettVonRaven]

Rai, impressive writing. I especially like your descriptions - “hemorrhages ink”, “hypnotic tile patterns”, “Desks, tiny and unforgiving”, and “God exists in this tick”. I also like your word (letter) play in trapped.

[RaiStarr]

SJ, onyxsundrops, intricate mirage, and ScarlettVonRaven Thanks for checking out my words. Sorry I didnt respond and thank you sooner. I was home for the holiday and am just now returning to my apartment at school. I think my posting may increase soon because as I may have mentioned before, I am taking Poetry Writing this semester. Thanks again for reading and Happy New Year!

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[Moon to the Tide]

Rai, the beauty of these come from the free, simplistic sense of honesty.



Thanks for pointing me over. I get no online time these days, and I quite miss the Kittenboard.



I wish you well in your class, and have fun experimenting with structure - but don't compromise the raw emotion for a style. That'd be a loss.



I hope to see more, my friend!

[RaiStarr]

Thanks for coming to see my insanity revealed! I had actually given what you said some thought before and realized that that would probably be my big fight for the semester. Emotion versus style and form. We will see out it goes. I'm sure I will post some of it.

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[sam darls]

Hey..these are sooo good..I love them all..Really emotional too. . Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[TaraBaby77]

Rai -



As I know you have heard this from everyone else, but I must repeat it, again. You have a very unique and creative writing style that caught my attention. I feel that unique and creative are good choices of words to use, but I am not sure if I would call it a writing style. It's more of a emotional release. Anyway, I love it. It's bold and honest and deep-rooted and strong and.... Okay, I think you can get where I am going with this. Amazing!!! I am really glad that you were willing to share these pieces of art with us. Hope to see more soon. =)

Aaron

'TaraBaby77'

[RaiStarr]

This was actually a journal entry about my day today. I was talking to my Mom about it and she asked me if I was going to post it where I was putting my poems. I told her no and she said it sounded like poetry to her and that I should think about it. I thought and figured what the heck so here it is. Thanks for reading!

Rai



Good

I was walking on the campus because my books were due. The campus was empty because the students were not due, only my books. And although it was day, it was dark. And although it was winter, it was warm. And the air was thick with almost energy. And I walked and I was alone and I was bigger and more powerful than ever. And I walked and I was alone and I was smaller and more insignificant than ever. And the weight of the contradiction was endless. And as I passed the buildings their knowledge fell upon me like dirt. And I walked and gathered the filthy knowledge from this learning place. I was a computer generated image walking and foul learning fell upon me. And I knew it all. And then the energy was real and there was a Goddess and a God. And they cursed me as they blessed me as they cleansed me. The sky opened and I was myself. I was just the right size and I knew just the right things. And there was water. And there was wind. And there was sound. And there was light. And it was good.

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[RaiStarr]

I posted that last bit without saying thank you to those who responded! I'm so sorry!



sam darls, thanks for your kinds words and taking the time to read.



Tarababy77, my lack of writing style is pretty much what the war is about. I will be taking a poetry writing class this semester and I am worried about being able to take the emotions that I normally use to write and making them fit into the pretty poetry shapes I will be learning about. Wish me luck because I think I going to need it! Thanks for reading!



Rai

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[SJ]

Liked that writing,great read

[RaiStarr]

SJ, Thanks! I kinda enjoyed writing that one.



Rai

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[RaiStarr]

So here is the first thing that I wrote for my class. So far there has been no forcing of the forms. I am grateful now but I know the forms are coming. The assignment for this one was to describe something in detail that you wouldnt ordinarily think of writing about.



Anatomy of a Panic Attack



The breath constricts little by little 'til all that remains are tiny gasps formed high in the lungs. No gas exchange there just hummingbird pants. While the floor melts in on itself, the heart grows jealous of the speed of the lungs and races to catch up, slamming blood so hard against arterial confines that pain radiates through it all - front, back, arm, leg and the lungs loosen to allow a needed puff and to respond to the agony of it all, only to find that the muscles themselves have joined in and all that can happen are the tiny wheezes of non-life sustaining air. And the colors grow brighter. And the world becomes a garish caricature of itself. Reality disappears behind the haze and all that is left is Bigfoot and stares and Gravity Gods and laughter and pointing fingers and clowns and all the residents of the land of "What If" and death without release comes a million times as they approach with their weapons drawn and then - it stops.

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[TaraBaby77]

Hey there RaiStarr -



As for lucky, you so don't need luck. Just from reading that last post, you have a unique way of expressing. All the poetry classes and courses are going to do is show you how to tweak what you already have going. Anyhoo, love the post!!!! For a while there, I was having flashbacks of college... walking through campus. Great work, hope to see more. =)

Aaron

'TaraBaby77'

[RaiStarr]

Thanks for continuing to check out my stuff Aaron. This semester is going to be a challenge for me. I have never written poetry on command. I'm gonna have to work on not letting the pressure of the assignment stilt my language. It will be interesting! Thanks for reading though! The posts should be picking up soon!

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[SJ]

Thought that was great

[sam darls]

This was so lovely to read I really enjoyed it. Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[RaiStarr]

SJ, sam darls, thanks! That was really hard for me to spit out. Our next one is due Tuesday so I will have something new up by then.



Rai

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[RaiStarr]

So here is my next one that is due on Tuesday. The assignment this time was to write a 20 line poem about our lives. For the first draft we just had to make a list of things that we remembered. Each line of the list had to start with "I remember..." from there we could revise as we saw fit. I ended up in a much darker place than I anticipated. Anyway, here it is.



Rai



Remember Anymore



I remember losing my throne, losing my faith,

standing on top of the world in a black

belt

when

gravity

remembered.

I remember when I lost the choice of motherhood;

when I knew I was unique and when I found out that

I was the same, and finding my faith and losing it again,

and being given up on.

I remember giving up and walls that are supposed to

be padded when I believed in Tomorrow.

I remember skateboards and bicycles and sunburned shoulders.

I remember finding love in an unexpected place.

I remember putting it back.

I remember sleep,

dreams of success.

I remember a reality of failure.

I remember taking pills

so I wouldn’t have to remember anymore.

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[TaraBaby77]

HOLY FRILLY HECK!!! Rai, talk about deep. All I can say is that, I think you are definitely going to being showing off when it comes time to submit that. I think that piece of work is of purity and depth with a hint of light. Okay, that may not make sense but that is what I think. Great work!!! If your work is this good now, I can't wait to see what you will have for us come the end of that course. Anyhoo, keep up the great work and thanks much for sharing. Take care.... =)

Aaron

'TaraBaby77'

[RaiStarr]

Thanks Aaron! I hope my fragile psyche can handle this class. It has been a week and I have panic attacks and dreary remembrances. I'm a little worried... *grin*





Rai

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[SJ]

Excellent poem

[RaiStarr]

Thanks, SJ!

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[sam darls]

Hi Rai..that was amazing..I loved it, so beautiful Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[onyxsundrops]

Very expressive poem, I enjoyed it. Please cont. posting.

Onyx

[RaiStarr]

sam darls, and onyxsundrops thank you very much for your kind words and for continuing to read.



This next one is actually a part of a journal entry. It is not the one that I did for class. We had to write about something we would not ordinarily talk about, things like shame or personal delight, things like that. I did come up with something but I am still fighting with it. It is hard to share your shame, ya know? And it is even harder to share when you can tell it doesn't have that...thing. So I will continue to fight with it but in the mean time I will share this...



The Blues

I live with the blues of midnight and thunderstorms and deep ocean treasures. Beautiful but heavy, full of hidden dangers, rivulets of red and jagged edges of white. A chthonic rainbow arching, reaching, attempting to make contact only to find itself over and over in a dazzling murky spiral of isolation and pain that is no different from yours or his or hers so it deserves and gets no fanfare. So it fades into the dirt and is tread upon by the vivids and the pastels and will lie crumbled and glorious and ordinary until it rears up and arches to find only itself again.

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[SJ]

Wow,great writing,you paint with words so well

[RaiStarr]

Thanks, SJ

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[RaiStarr]

So here is my latest poem. This one is the most different from anything I have done so far. It had to be a group of assertions. I was stumped pretty much until a minute ago. It is due in class this afternoon. Down to the wire indeed! Anyway, here it is.





Taste



Depression doesn’t taste as bad as one might think.



Writing bad poetry is the bane of my existence.



Bane tastes very much like the charred portion of the toast;



Which doesn’t taste bad with butter and jam.



Sarcasm tastes like fun, which sometimes tastes of work;



Which tastes of lemonade with too much yellow.



Tears taste like sweat, which tastes like sex;



Which tastes like love;



Which tastes like hate – that leads to depression,



Which doesn’t taste as bad as one might think.

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[Imperfectly Me]

very different, good though. I like it.

Edited by: Warduke at: 5/14/04 7:43 pm

[nazelhuts]

those poems are just amazing! can't seem to pick a favourite, i love them all equally. you are brave, keep creatin.. it suits you!