Insanity Revealed

[RaiStarr]

Imperfectly Me, nazelhuts - thanks very much for looking at my words. More coming soon, I'm sure.



Rai

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[SJ]

Interesting and different,enjoyed reading that

[RaiStarr]

Thanks SJ!

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[numbered words]

Very nice work.



-Kristyn

[Krazy Dreamer]

RaiStarr, I love how you put words together, and there is something very spiritual about your writing. I’ve been reading your stuff for a while now, and decided that I should let you know how much I love your work. My three favorites in order are “Extraction”, “Anatomy of a Panic Attack”, and “The Search.” I found “Remember Anymore” to be excruciating and deep. I really enjoy reading “The Blues” out loud, because I like the rhythm of it and how the words flow like honey off my lips. I also really like Good. I like them all. Great Job!

"Some men see things as they are and say,'why?' I dream things that never were and say, 'why not?'"

- Robert F. JFK

[RaiStarr]

numbered words Thanks for reading!



Krazy Dreamer Thank you very much for your kind words. Even though I write alot, poetry is a very new form of expression for me. I enjoy it but it is difficult to live so exposed, ya know? Extraction is my favorite because it the closest to a glimpse of what goes on in my head. It was originally called Cranial Extraction. I also kinda like the latest one because it is SO different from my other things. It really pleases me that you read them out loud. That is how I know when I am done with one because it works when I read it outloud, it pleases the musician in me. Anyway, thanks again for reading!



Rai

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[RaiStarr]

It has been a while with the poetry for me. I have been working away on revising the ones that I have. Not the most fun I have ever had but I am getting by. I am here to offer up my latest work. My assignment was to read the poem In This Country on Poems daily and write a sort of imitation of it. It took me quite some time to get something where I could still hear my voice. Interesting stuff this poetry. Anyway here it is...



A Day in the Life



Dialogue happens all the time, often without words.



Without words it is in the slump of the shoulders and the heat that races across the cheeks.



Without words it is in the hand extended, partially reaching out, partially keeping away.



Without words it is the smile that lives in the teeth but never makes it to the eyes.



My eyes hide behind their reflective shields.



        Shields you from my pain.



        Shields me from your acknowledgement.



        Shields allow you to see yourself and apply your necessities to my silence.



Silence crashes about me, pulling my attention to the paper dollies on the wall. The timeless brilliance sends tremors through my fingers.



        Their fingers stand still and strong – a testament to the metamorphosis.



Metamorphosis happens here everyday. I fall from my cocoon when the sun says it’s time.

       

        When the sun says it’s time I shed the delicious darkness and warmth.



When the sun says it’s time my breathing shifts from the deep and low of the secure, of the asleep, of the singer, to the high quick gasps of the nervously aware.



Aware of responsibilities and realities and gravities;



Aware of a sadness that weaves its way through a privileged life.



Aware of suns and fingers and shields and eyes;



Aware of promises that were made before with an unspoken dialogue.

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[SJ]

Wow,like that poem a lot

[RaiStarr]

Thanks!

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[Krazy Dreamer]

I found this poem to have so many layers and such great depth that I don’t know what to say. The subtleties of human expression and the loneliness one can feel around other people. I think I saw you over on the Social Phobia thread, am I wrong? I could definitely see glimpses of social phobia in this poem. Definitely multi-layered and very poignant. I really enjoy your work, RaiStarr.

"Some men see things as they are and say,'why?' I dream things that never were and say, 'why not?'"

- Robert F. JFK

[TaraBaby77]

Hey Rai -



It's good ole me again, . Anyhoo, I just wanted to say that I still enjoy your work and that you are getting better each and every time. So please keep sharing. Hope to see more soon. =)

Aaron

'TaraBaby77'

[RaiStarr]

Thanks Aaron! I am still plugging away at it all. I have a few to write this week so hopefully I will be posting more in the near future. *crosses fingers*



Rai

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[nazelhuts]

good stuff Rai! me likes 'a day in the life' a lot!

[RaiStarr]

nazelhuts, hey thanks!



Rai

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[RaiStarr]

So got a new one finally! The assignment here was to write a poem using words we made up like in Carroll's Jabberwocky. It was interesting. I say that alot don't I? "interesting" oh well. here it is!



Rai





The Tales of We



Trustalosters aren’t born, they are created,



perhaps by the veritastakers.



Trustalosters don’t learn when to look away



so they can hear but not see the verbalies



that fumbabumbalumba forth.



Because the fumbabumbalumba can mean anything



but the eyes behind the spillage tell the truth.



How many times have we seen the eyes and heard the words



and realized that they don’t match?



How many times have we said the words and flailed the hands



nervously elsewhere drawing attention away from our eyes



because we know that they don’t match?



We are the trustalosters.



We are the veritastakers.

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[SJ]

Great writing

[RaiStarr]

Thanks SJ

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[onyxsundrops]

That was 'interesting' and different, great poem.



Yvonne

[RaiStarr]

Thanks onyxsundrops!



I have two more but they are in my portfolio which I turned in so I will have wait and post them next week sometime since I am off for Spring Break this week.



Maybe the Great Giver of Poetry will give me something before then. I wouldnt hold your breath though...



Rai

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[RaiStarr]

I got my portfolio back. Yay! So the assignment for this poem was to choose three unrelated words and write a poem that incorporates them all. My words were song, fraternity, and star. Anyway, here it is.



Unsung



I move along oblivious

to you and everyone else.

Completion my only goal.

Completion of this task

this journey

this song.

I wish to be done.

The fraternity of men

that walk the Earth

let us down as they focus

on the wholes and not the pieces

that make it.

They see the cost of the orchestra

before they hear the beauty of the song.

So I move along oblivious

to you and everyone else.

I wish to be done

because my song will never be heard.

The fraternity looked at my star

before it shone

and determined that the cost

was too high

and the worth

was too little

and the song will not ever be sung.

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[nazelhuts]

ooooh.. 'unsung' is really really good.. sorry that i can't think of a better way to praise the really really goodness!

a day without laughter is a day wasted - charlie chaplin (i think!)

[SJ]

Great poem

[Stroke of Luck]

WOw great writing, more pls



CU

SoL/Natti

Even in death Baby, i´ll never leave u!

[Krazy Dreamer]

I really like your latest poem, RaiStarr. I can relate, because I feel like this a lot of times. So anyway, great job!

"Some men see things as they are and say,'why?' I dream things that never were and say, 'why not?'"

- Robert F. JFK

[RaiStarr]

nazelhuts, SJ, Stroke of Luck, and Krazy Dreamer and anyone else who reads this, thank you for keeping up with my sporadic display of words! I will have more soon!



Rai

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[RaiStarr]

This poem is the one that has been the most forced for me throughout the entire semester. I have hemmed and hawed about posting it here for a while but I finally figured what the heck. The assignment for this one was to pick something mundane and try and make it kinda sexy. Can you guess what I wrote about?



Holder of Dreams



Solid but slender, functional grace

long, dark and firm, it grows

to reach just the right spot.

Edges worn from the clutch of nervous fingers

sweaty and trembling from the intensity of the moment

souls soar and hearts break in its presence

the innermost secrets of the greatest minds

have rested upon it

and experiences the same carress

as the fumbling novice

while it stands

solid and slender

with a functional grace.

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[SJ]

Great poem

[onyxsundrops]

I have my ideas, but they're probably wrong. Nice poem, and I'm curious to know what you're talking about.



Yvonne

[RaiStarr]

SJ thanks for being such a faithful reader of all the threads here on The Inward Eye.



onyxsundrops thanks for reading. The object in question is a music stand. I am a music major and I was sitting in the lobby of the music building next to a rack of music stand when I did the first draft of this.



Rai

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...

[RaiStarr]

Another poem. This one is, uh... I will go with my old stand by of interesting.



Rai



Before the Cul-de-sac



The house was obviously older

than all the rest, set

there before the surveyors

with the perfect lines

came and marked the perfect

shapes for the perfect houses.

And the perfect people

came and brought skeletons

and dirty socks

to fill the closets.

And the perfect children

who knew naught of spankings,

or rules, or manners

came and stared at the old house

that marred their edge

of perfection.

And the old woman of the house

moved about the yard.

And in the shadows

cats crept. And birds

tracked her movement.

And squirrels armed themselves.

And the pollen released

itself into the air,

as Nature’s army stood ready

to protect the last of its kind.

“I am not wicked.”

And the children jumped

and moved on in a storm

of perfectly jostled

I told you so’s.

And the old woman carried

her clippings in and added

them to her pot.

Forgive me now! Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...