Radio Commercials

[bowieinberlin]

Kathy told me to post these. Maybe there's somebody out there that will hire me. Heh. These are some of the commercials I've written for our radio stations. It's funny that 3 months ago I'd never written a commercial for real.

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Anytime Bonding

:30



SFX/MUSIC: A-Team Theme music



VO: It’s 3 a.m. on Saturday, the police are out in force, and your buddy just called you from jail. Your buddy needs you. If you need a bondsman, if no one else can help, call Anytime Bonding at 745-****.



SFX/MUSIC: Theme starts



VO: Anytime Bonding, they’ll get you out of the stickiest situation, call 745-****. That’s 745-****.

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Auburn Flowers & Gifts

:30



You’re running out of time to get your sweetie the perfect Valentine’s Day gifts, but never fear, Auburn Flowers & Gifts, on South College Street, can prevent such romantic blunders! Call ahead, 502-****, for more than just flowers! They’ve got cute, cuddly stuffed animals and balloon bouquets, or try one of Auburn Flowers & Gifts’ Bath, Goody or Gift baskets. Call 502-**** today, or stop by Auburn Flowers & Gifts, South College Street next to DC Cellars, and they’ll keep you out of the dog house. For one day, at least.

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Veggies To Go

:30



MUSIC: “Girl From Ipanema,” elevator style



SFX: “Thinking” so use an echo



BOSSMAN: I can’t wait to get off this elevator … Today is a Veggies To Go kind of day … Aah those juicy, tangy fried green tomatoes, I can just imagine biting into one now … mmm … oh, and those moist, tender chops … no, no, maybe the fried catfish … This is going to be the best lunch ever …



INTERN: Uh, boss? You OK? We’re here, Veggies To Go on South College Street across from Winn-Dixie – uh, did you want to go to the Glendean location next to Tiger Package instead?



SFX: “Thinking” so use an echo



INTERN: *SIGH* What does it matter, we’ve eaten here every day for a month and he STILL hasn’t tried it all … Mmmm … fried green tomatoes …



VO: Veggies To Go – it’s a ritual kind of thing

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Sterling University Arbors

:30



SFX: phone ringing



MOM: Hello



COLLEGE-AGE KID: Mom, I found the perfect new place for fall! It’s got a washer and dryer so I can save quarters for sodapop, and a state-of-the-art computer center where I can research and write papers.



MOM: Does it have a pool?



KID: Resort-style with hot tub, mom. There’s a 24-hour fitness center, and volleyball and basketball courts too.



MOM: And it’s how far away from campus?



KID: It’s on the campus bus route, and it’s convenient to grocery stores, restaurants, even a book store!



MOM: But does rent include water or cable with HBO?



KID: Of course it does, mom! And if I lease by February 28th I’ll get the current rate and $100 off September rent. The application fee is all I have to pay now!



MOM: Where should I send a check?



KID: Sterling University Arbors, but how’s about you just send me a blank check?



MOM: Don’t push your luck, kid.



VO: Sterling University Arbors, South College Street, Auburn.

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Off The Grill

:30



Want to spend Valentine’s Day with your special someone, but without the hassle of crowded restaurants? Why not call 502-**** and have Off The Grill do the cooking AND deliver a fresh, hot meal right to your door? Nothing says romance like tender grilled salmon or a moist, succulent filet mignon. Ask for the Valentine’s Day special and receive a free rose, two Hershey kisses, and a giant chocolate chip cookie with each order. Off The Grill is just one good reason to stay home on Valentine’s Day, but of course, there are others. Call 502-**** for fast, fresh, and free delivery. Off The Grill, Dean Road, in Auburn.

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Wendy’s

:30





MUSIC: Sexy sax music



SEXY FEMALE VOICE: Having a late night? Running out of steam and looking for a quickie? How about fresh, (PAUSE) hot, (PAUSE) juicy (PAUSE) burgers from Wendy’s late-night drive thru. Wendy’s will get you in and out, so you can get back to more important late-night activities. Slip into Wendy’s drive-thru, you won’t be disappointed … I promise.



VO: Wendy’s late-night drive thru, South College in Auburn.

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"Here she she comes ... you better watch your step ... she's going to break your heart in two ... it's true." Femme Fatale, Velvet Underground

Edited by: bowieinberlin at: 3/22/03 1:02:13 pm

[kbk3022]

Wow, I'm so glad Kathy told you to post these. It's like I can hear them in my head as I read them. I really wish I had a Veggies To Go here. Oh, and the Wendy's commercial is great.



Nice job Sally.

[justin]

These are great. It's worth having this new board just to be able to see them, especially the advert for Wendy's.

I understand, you should be with the person you l-love


I am

[BytrSuite]

Actually, Rhona is the one who suggested it, I just jumped on the bandwagon. So there.



Great ads Sally. The Veggies to Go sound really good. And the Wendy's spot is just brilliant.

________
"Oh, good, my dog found the chainsaw."

[bowieinberlin]

Here's some more ... and Kasey, I'm still looking for the Batman one... This has been really cathartic. Thanks Rhona, Kathy, and Kasey.

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Veggies To Go

:30



(drone-like, robotic voice) Burger, burger, burger, burger, burger, burger, etc. (loops?)



Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, etc.



Fries, fries, fries, fries, fries, etc.



Ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen, etc.



(Each level continues and builds on the next one until it becomes a swirling mess of noise)



SILENCE (a beat)



Veggies To Go will free you from the lunchtime routine! They’ve got food just like your mamma makes, and you don’t even have to call her! Try chicken, chops, mac and cheese, fried green tomatoes, and more. It’s tasty, makes you feel good, and best of all, you can get something different every day of the week!



Make your mamma proud. Get on down to Veggies To Go, South College Street or Glenndean, next to Tiger Package.

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Veggies To Go

:30



1: I’m sooooo hungry. Let’s go get lunch.



2: Good idea. Where do you want to eat?



1: I don’t know. Pizza?



2: No! I had that yesterday. How about burgers?



1: Eghads. I had that last night. I’m not even hungry anymore… there’s just nothing fresh and new to eat.



SFX: poof



1&2: It’s Valiant Veggie Man!



Valiant Veggie Man (like Phil’s Mission Thrift guy): I’m here to rescue you from your lunch break doldrums! Come to Veggies To Go for homemade chops, chicken, mac and cheese, peas, and more! It’ll impress your mom AND you’ll be free from the fast-food nightmare! It’s so good you’ll be here every day, dying to know what veggies and meats they’ll serve up next.



1 & 2: Thank you Valiant Veggie Man!



1: Should we go to the College Street Veggies To Go or the one at Glenndean next to Tiger Package?



2: I don’t care. I just want fried green tomatoes.



1&2: mmmm fried green tomatoes. (homer voice)

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Snapper O’Malley’s St. Patty’s Day

:30

SPEC



VO: Celebrate St. Patty’s Day at Snapper O’Malley’s with all things Irish!



LEPRECHAUN: If it’s not Irish it’s crap!



VO: Friday night the party begins with Adam Hood and half-price imports. Before you know it, you’ll be kissing the Blarney Stone and humming Sinead O’Connor.



LEPRECHAUN: My lucky charms are sure to be out at Snapper O’Malley’s all weekend long.



VO: Saturday’s dollar Jell-O shooters are sure to have ol’ Greenleaf here doing the Riverdance like there’s no tomorrow to Secondhand Jive!



LEPRECHAUN: By George the lassies have gone wild!



VO: Pick up a pitcher of green beer on Sunday and get free Irish stew, while Ziggy rocks the house.



LEPRECHAUN (singing): Oh Danny Boys … strap on your kilts and come to Snapper’s



VO: Run the snakes out of the Emerald Isle for good Monday with the sounds of Rollin’ in the Hay. Draft beer is only a dollar, and pssst … hey, Lucky! Put down those Irish bangers and eat some 25-cent wings!



LEPRECHAUN: (mouth full) If it’s not Snapper O’Malley’s St. Patty’s Day bash, it’s crap!

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Just because I love Todd Haynes ...



I.F. Film Series

:15



Here’s what’s going on this week with the Auburn University Program Council. UPC’s I.F. Film Series presents “Far From Heaven” March 18th. The film Stars Oscar-nominee Julianne Moore and is written and directed by Best Original Screenplay nominee Todd Haynes. In 1998 Haynes captured the world of ‘70s glam rock with “Velvet Goldmine,” now see what he does for a 1940s period piece. For more information visit the UPC web site at http://www.auburn.edu/upc or call 844-****.

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"Here she she comes ... you better watch your step ... she's going to break your heart in two ... it's true." Femme Fatale, Velvet Underground

[justin]

These are some more good adverts



except

Quote:

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LEPRECHAUN (singing): Oh Danny Boys … strap on your kilts and come to Snapper’s

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I hate to sound all nit picky but aren't kilts scottish?

I understand, you should be with the person you l-love


I am

[rduffy24]

Sally, these are just hilarious! What a talented advert writer you are.

I can definately see your bosses influence in the Wendy advert.

So pleased you posted them.

Ro

[bowieinberlin]

jusitn,

That's exactly what I said about the kilts thing! But my insane millionaire boss wanted that line in there. Actually everything the "leprechaun" says is what my boss said he wanted in the commercial. He's so lame. But I thought I built around it nicely. Of course, I was worried about being offensive, but he has a tendency to like that sort of thing... go figure.

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"Here she she comes ... you better watch your step ... she's going to break your heart in two ... it's true." Femme Fatale, Velvet Underground

[BytrSuite]

Heh, Sally, I really want to try fried green tomatoes now.



I have to ask, what is Tiger Package?

________
"Oh, good, my dog found the chainsaw."

[bowieinberlin]

Why, Kathy, Tiger Package is your one-stop party shop! They've got wine, beer, liquor, mixers, cigars and cigarettes, and hey, they've even got koozies! All at a grossly marked-up price!



Put THAT in your paper bag.



Oh yeah, my boss owns Tiger Package. Heh.

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"Here she she comes ... you better watch your step ... she's going to break your heart in two ... it's true." Femme Fatale, Velvet Underground

[rduffy24]

Okay, I have to ask....what are koozies? And what is a Tiger Package?



Any feedback on the madmans plans for giving people jobs again, Sally? Perhaps after Lent, he'll revert to his drug of choice and go back to his former, merely unpleasant self, rather than being completely nuts.

[MellindraX]

I am suddenly struck with a desire for fried green tomatoes! Hehehe. Very cute advertisments...

It is my solace, my home, the place where my walls crumble and fall away, because no one can know who I truly am. Thank goodness for the Internet, preserver of sanity! -Unknown

[bowieinberlin]

Ok, so things got all crazy at work. But by some miracle I was offered a job after graduation. Writing commercials. So I'm thinking, "Yay! This will be great on May 1st." Wrong. I stared my new job today. And I love it.



Here's the fruit of today's labor... Thanks to everybody for all teh nice feedback!

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"Here she she comes ... you better watch your step ... she's going to break your heart in two ... it's true." Femme Fatale, Velvet Underground

[kbk3022]

Congrats on staring your new job Sally.



Oh, nice new commercial. Heh.