Hi, this is the first story I've tried writing and could use some helpful advice/criticism. I tend to have stories going in my head but never bother to write them down. I have an idea of where I want to go with this one, which is why the beginning might be confusing, but I don't know how well I'm writing it. It's easier to see it like a movie in your head than to actually translate it into words to show others. Thank you to anyone with suggestions for improvement or even just general comments!
Prologue – Bea’s Note
Jenna was someone you knew. She was a sweet girl, who loved her family, her boyfriend, and her little town. She wouldn’t steal a room; her presence was of a simple beauty. She was pretty, yes, but nothing to sing about. Lovely is a better word, although words never suffice when it comes to beauty. Her eyes were a sea green, but much deeper; hair was a simple light brown, accented to seem special. Her smile was always a tease, bringing out primal want in everyone she touched. I noticed her. I do that, notice people. I can see who fits in, who doesn’t. The world’s best actor couldn’t fool these eyes. I guess old habits die hard, but let’s not get into that just yet. She was my only mistake. Every night I see myself going back and not saying ‘yes’, but walking away and keeping her out of my life. I never let people in, it’s safer that way. She is by far my greatest regret.
Dear Friend,
I am only writing this work of ‘fiction’ so that you know, everything. I think I owe you as much. We’re alike, you and I, more than I would care to admit to. You understand the loneliness, the need to feel normal, to feel anything, anyone. I let my guard down, I can never forgive myself for it. The blame is mine alone. Hear my words, please, you’re all I have. You’re the most I’ve ever really had.
Love, B
Chapter 1 – The meeting
Beatrice was trying to focus on the professor, but couldn’t convince herself to care about physics right now. I wore this stupid shirt and she’s not even here. Well, the shirt wasn’t too stupid. It was quite flattering actually, despite being uncomfortable. Beatrice could not even understand why she cared about the girl. She had strict rules governing her daily life. She had acquaintances, not friends, keeping people close but far enough to be safe. The professor was still going on about gravity or friction, but Beatrice chose to selectively listen to the ticking clock instead. Just 12 more minutes, try not to go crazy. Physics was easy, and if Jenna would not have sat right in front of her every day, then she would probably still be in bed, dreaming. With a quick glance around the room, she knew she wasn’t alone in her sentiment. The students were either worriedly copying down every syllable or using every ounce of self control to stay awake. She was quite sure the guy in the back, who always wore sandals despite it being 28 outside, was sleeping with his eyes open. And then the magic words came.
“Alright class,” the professor said, “we’ll continue on with potential energy on Friday. Don’t forget about the homework.”
Beatrice’s heart gave an involuntary flutter at the word. Homework. No, she wasn’t a nerd, but Jenna always went to the help sessions, so homework was a very good thing. Great, now I sound like a stalker. Her voice of reason made a plea against this path. She knew that pining after the girl could only lead to trouble, but she was trying to do the whole ‘normal college life’ thing. She hardly even notices me anyway. Beatrice left the classroom feeling disappointed that her morning wasn’t as planned. She turned right to navigate through the mob of people frantically trying to get to class. Maybe I should spoil their fun and tell them how boring... someone’s coming. She instinctively focused on the person walking quickly toward her from behind, almost sensing the arm reaching forward toward her. She stopped and turned around a second before contact was made and came to face the one person she wasn’t expecting.
“Hey, Beatrice, I’m glad I caught you.” Jenna said with that nice half smile on her face. She was slightly flushed, probably from trying to catch up. Beatrice involuntary smiled just from seeing those eyes, feeling an unwanted flutter deep inside. “Hey,” she replied. Very smooth.
“I don’t know if you noticed, but I totally missed class today. I was up really late with Austin last night,” Jenna said with a slight blush, glancing to the side as she caught the memory. “Anyway, I was wondering if I could borrow your notes?” She looked at Beatrice with shy, hopeful eyes. This caused any residual tension at the mention of Austin’s name to melt away. Beatrice gave a slight sigh of resignation, but then realized that she didn’t take a single word down all class.
“Um, I would, but I kinda zoned out for the class and didn’t take really good notes,” Beatrice replied. Damn, my once chance to get closer. I’m surprised she even asked me, maybe I was just convenient. Jenna slightly frowned, causing her bottom lip to stick out in a small pout. They looked soft and delicate, like all of her features. Stop noticing things like that.
“Oh well, I guess I’ll have to find someone else. I just haven’t been getting this new stuff very well, and I guess skipping class doesn’t help much. And now I’m rambling.” Jenna chuckled softly to herself, but Beatrice was too focused on her thoughts to notice. She saw two options ahead of her; one for her heart, one for her head. Her instincts had kept her alive this long, so she decided on impulse. “If you want, I could tutor you,” Beatrice asked calmly, masking any emotions that could scare the girl off. “I’m pretty good with physics and I could help you... if you wanted.” Jenna considered this and then had a brief ‘why not’ look cross her face.
“Ok, sure. How about meeting at my house tonight, if you’re not busy. We could get a pizza or something.” Smiling at Beatrice’s nod, she wrote her address and phone number. “Call me if you get lost or change your mind. Oh, and thanks.” She gave a quick smile before walking away.
Beatrice just smiled softly and watched Jenna move down the hallway, basking in the warm glow that seemed to envelop her whenever the girl was around. Shaking her head, she cleared these thoughts and focused on heading to class. The rest of the day was uneventful, but the glow never left Beatrice. In her reflection, the soft smile of happiness looked foreign below those eyes. She tried so hard to hide them, but beneath their beauty lies a cold, painful past that will never let go.
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