Old Amber interviews

[urnofosiris]

I've been digging through the archives and came across some old Amber interviews that could be interesting to some of us who have missed them way back when they were being posted. Because some of our archived threads are a bit messy due to broken links and dead smilies I thought it might be nice to collect some of the more interesting interviews here in a fresh new thread.



Starting with a transcript from a chat Amber had at yahoo in 2001. Thanks to Spuckie for the transcript.



originally posted by Spuckie





transcript of Ambers yahoo chat, march 2001

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it's messy, and likely someone else will have a better one, but managed to type this w/ having any of the three kids here bug me, so here it is :



hey amber what's it like being on buffy :

it's fantastic where do you getto work and get to have lunch w demons and vampires and work w/ amazing people



i love your work in buffy. rumor has it that yer very ticklish so who would last longer in a tickle fight, you , SMG, or alyson.

I would definitely lose first

Do u realize how mush you and your character helped gay or shy teens?

i have gotten amazing supportive letters about being the first long therm lesbian realationship on tv. saying that it has helped them come out and that it's ok to be gay



how do you feel about joss



he's a god. love him to pieces



if you could play any other character on the show, who would you wanna play?

probaby glory because she ahs great outfits



how does it feel to work w/ smg?

she has been super cool to me. very cool very supportive



did you always know you wanted to be an actress?

sicne i was about 5 i knew i wanted to be an actor. I'm kind of a ham



how did you get started?

i started out as a dancer as a young kid

when i realized i liked being on stage not necessarily the dancing part of being on stage



what has been yer favorite episode?

tie between restless and hush



what has been yer favourite scene in buffy so far?

um? kissy allyson hannigan



who is your role model and why?

my mum. she keeps me together and totally grounded. amazing woman



btw - BYe bye love is a fav movie of mine. did you get to work w/ eliza again this season?

i hope so. i love working w/ eliza she so much fun so sweet



how does it feel to be one of the newest members of the scooby gang?

it's cool. i get to kick vampire butt



we're all looking forward to the various projecyts you've written. commics movies etc? is therany chance we'll ever see an amber-authored buffy episode?

we have fantastic writers and i don't know if i could do as good a job as they already do



what has been your primary influence that drives your life philosohphy?

we have to go out there and live our lives and treat each other w/ respect and passion

life too short miss doingwhat you are passionate about



this is such a privelege = first of all, me and i'm sure everyone e4lse in the uk would like to wish you the verybest of success w/ chance. it couldln't happen to a nicer person. do you ahve any advice for us aspiring actors/screenwriters?

you just have to go and do it do whatever it takes just don't hurt anyone in the process.

thayou for the compelement i really appreciate it.



amber can you give us a synopsyis of your movie

it sort ofg my take on trying to find the one in LA and how difficult it is. you have to weave thru all the strange people out there to find someone you really connect with



how does it feel when millions of teens look up to you? i know i do

thank you . it's hard because i'm only human but i try to live my life in a positve way and try not to eat too many animals.



if you weren't in the entertainment business, what wouldyou be doing?

i'd start a reggae band and live in tahiti



whats the best thing a fan has ever done for you

just enjoying what i do and being supportive of the choices that i make



do you write anything besides the buffy comics?

lots of plays and short stories



i know you must be incredably busy but do you ever get any time to read any of the w/t fanfic that's online

i haven't as of yet, but now my interest is piqued



do you have any tattoos?

no. pierced earst that' s it



how do you relate w/ tara in real life?

definitely have a shy side but i've learned how to put on a happy face and go out there



ummm what do you think of all the school shootings? do you think the music and entertainment industry has an impact on kid's decisions?

they use commercials to sell products and definitely whats on tv has an impact on humanity so violence on tv probably does have an effect



enjoyed meeting you at megacon (beet girl_ if Chance does really well, do you see yourselve moving more behind the lens than in front of it?

thanks you for the beets. i definitely wnat to do both. i just wnatto make moves. the beets were yummy

good evening ms benson - are we gonna see you in any movies this summer?

a movie called the prime gig, vince vaugn,JULIA ORMAND, AND ED HARRIS. IT's about telemarketers and i play a kind of psycho telemarketer



i heard you are writing a book about the w/t relationship?

a comic book it's called wanna blessed be



do you believe paganism is a valid religious choice? what's yer normal religion?

anything that doesn't hurt other people is very valid and earth goddess religions are totally cool. i was rased half jewish and half christian. both ... religious mutt i guess



have you ever had a real magical experience?

i have lots of deja vu moments and it seems like anytime i think about someone they call. take it as you will



greetings lady amber = may i ask what type of clothings you prefer in your daily life? long dresses or tight jeans? do you prefer high heeled boots?

jeans, tshirt, tennis shoe girl all around



hi amber do you have a website?

i have a site celebrityblvd.com



i hear you are going to be making a movie soon. How is that experience different than working on TV?

tv is alot more structured where as doing an independent movie is pure insanity



i think anyone who is a fan of yours know yer a big jeff buckley fan. what else do you listent to? what's in your cd player right now? do you plan any instruments?

i lovve radiohead and nck drake. so many. beatles of course



what do you like best about being an actor?

being able to emotionally touch the whole world.



hi amber, do you surf on the net often? and do you visit sites that' all dedicated to you?

yes. i'm a dork. i do look at websites dedicated to me. there is som fantastic stuff out there about me.



how do you and Nicholas Brendon get along?

i love nick... he and his fiance tress are fantastic. super funny



I'm dying to know... how many takes did "the kiss" require?

we must hav kissed each other at least 50 times



what is your favorite tv show other than buffy?

i don't watch much tv. i'm a big movie freak.



have you ever been turned down at an audition?

on hundred million times. rejection sucks.



who's your favorite character on angel?

probably a tie betwen wesley and gunn?



wha do you do to sit back and relax?

sleep and read. lot's of books.



do you get to do any cool stunts on your own?

i have a fantastic stunt woman named gloria obrien who takes all the beating.



when did u start on the tv business?

i've been acting professionally for 10 yrs and on buffy for 2 seasons



have you had any bad responses from people for playing a gay character?

the only negative stuff i've gotten come from trying to fill green's shoes. he is so beloved by buffy fans



hi amber. really like your character - do you ahve any input as to how your character is written?

i trust joss and mary implicitly. and love the direction they've gone with Tara



What is your favorite book?

probably the idiot by fyodor dostoyevsky. or the journey to the east by hermann hesse



do you still like harry potter?

love harry potter with an intense passion. those books rock



can you play any instruments?

i can pick at the guitar and piano. very good with the triangle



would you ever consider changing careers to singing, like jenifer lopez?

love singing, but movies and tv is where it's at



Is it hard being ina business hwere people see your image and not necessarily you?

it's frustrating because i feel like a big dork w/ glasses i was growing up and not like a tv personality. it's very strange



how can you describe yourself in a few words?

trying to live by the golden rule



how long have you had your dog?

iv'e had penny for 10 yrs



if you could do a spell on anyone, what would it be and why?

put a spell on myself to be happy all the time.



what do you enjoy doing most : acting, writing...?

i love t hem both i couldn't decide



what michelle tratchtenburg like? i think she's a great addition to the show

me too she is sweet and kind and a wonderful actress



what books would you recommendfrom what you ahve read recently?

i read a book called the wasp factory and one called the secret history



amber thankyou foransweering these questions and being interactive w/ your fans. how do you feel about play the good witch on tv?

it's fun i have the best job in the whole world

are you into witchcraft in real life?

i have always been interested by it, but buffy keeps me too busy for anything but wwork



what was it like being in king of the hill?

stephen soderbergh is an amazingdirecter. i was very lucky to have it be my first film



what is your favorite movie?

loved "the celebration" and "antonia's line" and the secret of roan inish



do you have an official website for yourself?

yeah it's at http://www.celebrityblvd.com/amberbenson



if someone reeally wanted to star or at least try to audition for buffy or a show like that on the wb, what is some good advice so it would help them get the part?

just be yourself. don't be nervouse... my advice is to memorize the material before you go in



what do you do to memorize your lines?

i have a pretty quicke memory so i just read over them a few times



amber - do you thing BtVS will go into a 7th season?

i hope so i think it's a fantastic show



what was it like to film alonngside james marsters aka spike?

james is a wonderful actor and very fun to work with. he does an amazing macbeth



has being a star changed ur friends, or those that think thatthe yare ur friends?

i think that you meet people and connect with them regardless of where you are in your worklife



hey amber, who are some of your all time favorite performers in the film industry today?

albert finny jonny depp cate blachett



do u like eminem?

love the peanut ones he he

not into eminem just the candy



what's the worst rumor about you that you've heard of?

i wish someone would start a rumor i need some spice in my life



if you were on who wants to be a millionair who would be your "phone a friend"

somebody with a set of encyclopedias



thankyou guys for all the awesome questions

let's do this again sometime



(smilie)

Edited by: DrG at: 3/22/03 4:56:00 am

[urnofosiris]

Originally posted and transcribed by scifiacid





Live and Kicking Chat Transcript

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Live and Kicking Chat

June 02 2001

Dan - Are you anything like your characters in Buffy?



Tony – No! The simple answer. When I read the script I was attracted to the character. I normally do romantic hero’s and this was different.



Amber – I guess there’s definitely a shy part of me, but she’s her own entity.



Chick2k - Amber, were you nervous coming into one of the worlds most successful shows and being the new kids?



Amber – Definitely. It’s a scary prospect to come into a show that’s been on the air so long. Everyone has amazing relationship already.



Angel - Is there going to be a convention in England where the fans can meet the cast?



Amber - But Alyson told them she would beat them up if they didn’t’ like me.



Anthony – Yes, but it’s sold out. The Nocturnal Convention at Heathrow. But they are happening more and more and there may be a big one next year in London that’s just a Buffy one.



Hannah - What was it like for both of you working in the 100th episode?



Tony – Cool. Very cool. Every now and then we get a treat. Joss did this episode and it felt special from the beginning. It felt like we were coming of age, growing up somehow.



Amber – It was a tough season in general because of the subject matter. It was coming to a head, like a closure. Which was really nice, it was a beautiful episode.



James - Tony – Is it really your voice we hear when you’re been singing on the show?



Tony – Yes it is. It is me lip synching really badly. Joss couldn’t’ decide which song he wanted so I had to learn two. He made up his mind 5 mins before the song. Then we did the second song later and I thought I’d do it live, but I had to lip synch again! But yes, I do sing?



Hannah - Amber, do u watch Buffy before you joined the cast and what’s it like to work closely with such a cool actress as Alyson Hannigan?



Amber – I knew Alyson before she started Buffy so I watched to see how she was doing. When I got the part I was so excited to be working with her.



Ann - I’ve read in several places that Joss Whedon is thinking of doing a musical episode in season six. Is this true and if so, you both have really good voices – will you be singing?



Tony – Maybe … Joss has talked about doing it since we did the pilot. He’s always wanted to do it and so do I. He’s waiting for the right moment. He didn’t want it to look like they were running out of ideas. It’s a guaranteed maybe.



Amber – If it happens, I just wanna sing!



Tony – Joss has written about 4 or 5 songs already.



Britainia - In the beginning of Buffy, Giles was a stuffy, tweed wearing, tea drinking Englishman. How did you feel about playing up to the stereotypical Englishman?



Tony – The way it was written, it wasn’t so stereotyped. The way Joss wrote it – he went to school in England for some time – so he’s good at it. I’ve seen some LA scripts that make the English look like idiots and I’ve avoided them!



Charlie_Angel – if you could play any other character on the show who would it be and why?



Amber – Actually I wanna be on Angel and I wanna be the host - the karaoke singing demon



Tony – I always wanted to be Cordelia!



Amber – He likes her clothes



Williams - Amber when are we likely to see your movie Chance here in the UK?



Tony – No her lines



Amber – We’re in the middle of editing and we’ll take it to some festivals and see what happens.



Katy - Do you prefer working in TV or theater? Do you have any plans to return to the theatre in the near future?



Tony – I fancy theatre, I haven’t done any for a while. I do an acting class in LA every month or so. I haven’t been starved of theatre. I do prefer one of the other. I’ve always been lucky to have the opportunity to do both. But I won’t commit to something that takes me away from my family for too long.



Ally - Do you hang out with the Buffy cast away from the set?



Tony – Yes. Quite a lot of time together. We used to hang out at Joss’s every Sunday and do Shakespeare readings! Alyson, Alexis and I go to see gigs and I hang out with Nickie. They’re a friendly bunch.



Amber – It’s like family and we’re very supportive of each other. We eat a lot too!



Tony – And a boisterous evening round the piano and Joss has brought drums!



Rebecca - Do you believe in vampires?



Tony – Of course!



Amber – I am a vampire – I’m just back from Transylvania!



Littlemisselle – What were you scared of when you were a kid?



Tony – Quite a lot. My uncle and aunt used to do puppet theatre and they were scary puppets. On my 6th birthday they did something for my birthday and I was terrified.



Amber – The dark. And about something salivating under the bed and waiting to get me!



Victoria - How long does it take to film on episode of Buffy?



Tony - Eight days and some change. As they’ve got more ambitious, we find ourselves doing some splinter unit work.



AMW - What three things would you take with you to a desert island?



Tony – Lavatory paper, my family, and our dog



Amber – The mall with everything in it! And my computer with Internet access – and I think that’s enough!



Missy what’s the best thing about being in Buffy?



Tony – It’s cool, it’s very intelligently written and it’s an awful lot of fun



Amber – Working with this amazing group of people



Sarah - What is your favourite episode that you have appeared in?



Amber - Restless



Tony – Hush



Michaela - What was the most challenging scene you have done on Buffy?



Amber – In one episode I had some brain suckage happening and they had to stick the other actor’s hands into a blue screen of me and we had to match it up. It was so difficult and it took like and hour.



Tony - The demon episode was cool, when I got to be a demon. It wasn’t so much challenging. I wore high heels – to make me taller. But because I’ve done rocky horror I’m used to heels



Matther - What would you be doing if you weren’t acting?



Amber - And he looks better than me in heels!



Tony - Singing or writing or carpentry



Amber - I would definitely be a sanitation worker! I would do road kill



Cat - Having seen the last in the series of Buffy last night, I have one question: is this the end of Buffy?



Tony - No



Amber – It’s the end of the cheese man



BBC - Any last words



Tony - I might be doing a movie so look out for it. A musical fairytale.



Amber – Thank you for your support because without the fans we would be sad standing out on the sidewalks with our hats out, begging!



Tony - We have a very small low budget CD which I did with some friends for the show and it might make it’s way onto mp3.



www.amberbenson.ws

Edited by: DrG at: 3/22/03 4:56:29 am

[urnofosiris]

Originally posted and transcribed by Dododioh





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I sat down for a good hour and got the short bit that I have on tape all written down. So here goes...



Caller: How does it feel to work with SMG and Michelle Trachtenberg?



Amber: They're both super cool, really really good people all the way around. It's fun. It's such a girls group of... I mean there like 5 women to 3 men.



(My tape cut off for a minute here: There was something about getting to bite people.)



JoJo: Was that in the casting calls when you were called in for the part? Wanted: Lesbian witch to cast spells?



Amber: Lesbian witch to cast spells...(giggles)



JoJo: By the way, we were talking about your character. You get a funky assortment of mail. Like what kind of mail do you get?



Amber: I get interesting mail. I have this one guy who sends me pictures of himself and they're out of focus...and he has like proverbs...and like biblical references on the picture. And he's gonna love me till I die.



JoJo: Do you ever think, "Dude, this guys missing some marbles."?



Amber: No, I'd actually like to meet him. He osunds like a really interesting fellow.



JoJo: Where does he live?



Amber: I think he's in Europe. He doesn't live in the states.



JoJo: Well thank god for that.



Amber: Well, I'm going there...so maybe I'll look him up. He gives me his number and stuff, I'll call him.



JoJo: You can stop in his neighborhood and knock on his door and totally freak him out.



Caller: Her Amber, what's up?



Amber: Not much, what's goin on with you?



Caller: Nothing, just chillin



Amber: I'm just chillin here too, I kinda have to go to the bathroom again. I'm stupid and drank like 5 cokes before I came in.



JoJo: Really?



Amber: Yeah, I got the big refill thing...and had like 5 of them.



JoJo: Oh my god.



Caller: Man JoJo, let her go to the bathroom already! (Amber giggles)



JoJo: No. She already pee'd once. You only get one pee break on the show. So what's your question?



Caller: What other shows have you done?



Amber: Um...What other shows have I done?...I've done more movies than TV things. I did a movie called The Crush with Alicia Silverstone.



Caller: Yeah, I think I've seen that.



Amber: Yeah, that was pretty cool. And I did...I'm trying to think what else I've done...and I did a movie with Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey McGuire called Don's Plum.



JoJo: That's the one with all the controversy and everything.



Amber: Yeah, they have a little lawsuit over it...but um.. but like come on, I get to work with cute guys..it was fun.



JoJo: did you make out with Leo?



Amber: No, I didn’t get to make out with anybody.



JoJo: you need more making out parts you know?



Amber: Yeah, I keep asking on Buffy…, “Can’t she be straight for one episode and make out with everybody?” but no. Not gonna happen. Amber’s just not getting any. She’s unlucky in love.



JoJo: Man that sucks. You have a cool gig though. Buffy that Vampire Slayer…everybody watches the show/ Your family, where do they live at?



Amber: I have a lot of family in Alabama.



JoJo: “So they’re like, “Hey, that’s my girl”



Amber: I don’t think they get it in their town actually…they get it at like 3 in the morning.



JoJo: Are you kidding? They don’t get BTVS in Alabama? What do they watch?



Amber: Well, in some parts they do, some parts they don’t.



JoJo: Well in the spots that normally Buffy’s on…which is?…plug the time of your show…



Amber: We are on on Tuesday at 8



JoJo: Well, Tuesday at 8 in Alabama, what’s on TV…like the redneck hour.



Amber: I don’t know… hey hey hey hey hey… no dissin the South buddy boy, you’re from Texas, come on. We have to stick together.



JoJo: Well okay.. alright … ok cool.



Amber: I don’t know what’s on, I haven’t been back in a while.



JoJo: How’s your peein thing going? You okay? (Turns on some water noises)



Amber: I’m okay…oh…you are a mean little man. (More water) Hey that only works for men not women.



Another Caller: Hi Amber.



Amber: Hey, how are you doing?



Caller: I’m doing great how are you?



Amber: I wish he would just stop those peeing sounds (toilet flush) It’s a little unsettling… oh stop it… Ahhhhhh



Caller: I was wondering if you had any advice.



Amber: Um…You wanna be an actor?



Caller: Yeah



Amber: Ummm.. my advice is perseverance. It’s taken me 10 years to get to a point where I can actually pay my bills. So you just have to keep slugging it out and it will happen you know?.. as long as you stick it out and you just say, “Ok, I don’t care if I have to starve, I’m gonna do it.” You will



Caller: Thank you



Amber: You’re totally welcome. Just keep trying



JoJo: And get some pictures made.



Amber: Yeah, naked photos of yourself helps…(giggles) I can’t believe I said that.



JoJo: #1 song coming up. Amber’s gotta pee. You really have to pee?



Amber: I do, but I’m ok, I can hold it.



JoJo: Maybe we’ll see how many times you can pee tonight in this one show and we’ll set the record. That would be kinda…



Amber: No!



JoJo: Yeah…that’s a bad idea.



Break



JoJo: (to caller) make your question quick cuz she had like 6 cokes and she has to run down the hall.



Amber: It’s a guy. Yay!



Caller: Yeah yeah, a guy named Lauren right



Amber: No no, it’s just been…JoJo and all his young women.



Caller: I just heard that the WB’s getting real mad about Buffy leaving the network and canceling some shows. Do you know what’s going on with that?



Amber: Um, being a lowly(?) actor, they keep me kinda out of the loop, but it does look like we’re…we might be going somewhere else. But I know that everybody who loves the show will stick with us. But it’s not really my decision. I just hope it all works out and I love doing Buffy and it would be really sucky if it didn’t work out.



JoJo: It wouldn’t change your daily routine if you’re on one network or another in terms of where you go to work.



Amber: No, not for working, but, you know the WB has been really good to us.



Some guy in the studio: She almost rhymed right now, she said it would be really sucky if she didn’t do Buffy.



Amber laughs.



Caller: I was asking about other shows getting cancelled.



Amber: Oh, I haven’t heard anything about that…I hope not… I don’t think so, not what I’ve heard. That would be really crappy.



Caller: I heard this from people that were on the Roswell Site…people are gonna send 100’s of 1000’s of gallons of tabasco sauce to the television producers.



Amber: haha JoJo: Dude…oh my god



Amber: Oh, that kicks… that is awesome. I love that, you know when you love something you gotta stick up for it and fight to the end.



JoJo: That’s how I am with toes.



Amber: Yeah, I know…You wanna see my toes.. you’re just gonna have to ask nicely.



JoJo: Alright, I’ll let you go pee, but you have to introduce the #1 song.. By the way, you met Amanda earlier.



Amber: I did, she’s cool. She speaks Swedish and French.



JoJo: She’s gonna cast a video



Amber: Oooh, cute boy dancers.



JoJo: Ok miss Amber…#1 then off to the can for you



Amber: Um, the #1 song is More than Enough by the Backstreet Boys.



20-30 minutes later.



JoJo: You were in the bathroom the whole time?



Amber: Yes, I was in the bathroom the whole time



JoJo: BTW, you’re mom is downstairs… she’s waiting



Amber: Aww, you suck…I’m not showing you my toes now.



JoJo: Come on, just one foot.



Amber: Ok, you get one foot.



JoJo: Check out some toes…this is pretty cool….. Dude check you out!…Oh, don’t fall over…Dude, check them toes out! You got a little toe fuzz there, some sock fuzz



Amber: I know



JoJo: Those are some nice toes, but they don’t have paint on them…it shows how nice they are even without the paint and everything. You rule. By the way, plug your show



Amber: Buffy …. Etc.



JoJo : You’re still doing reruns right now right ?



Amber: No, we started showing the real deals.



JoJo: So which one’s coming up on this next episode do you know?



Amber: Something very very interesting for me



JoJo: You’re character has a real twist?



Amber: Yeah



JoJo; Well, you didn’t tell me…what’s the deal?



Amber: I can’t say.



JoJo: Well, it’s gonna be good…watch Buffy….You better take off cuz your mom’s gonna..



Amber: Shut Up!



JoJo: Owww, I know you’re a big girl but your mom…it’s cool you hang out with your mom.



Amber: Just shut up!

JoJo: Okay, your ride is here

Amber: You’re just making fun.



JoJo: I’m not making fun…your mom is cool. It’s so cool you’re so close with your mom. She gave you a ride up.



Amber: She kicks ass…..butt



JoJo: You should’ve brought her up here, I’m kinda bummed.



Amber: She was eating

JoJo: she was eading next door ok.

Amber: Are you on the air?

JoJo: Yes I am



The End

(Sorry for any mistakes)

Edited by: DrG at: 3/22/03 4:56:54 am

[urnofosiris]

Originally posted and transcribed by Spuckie:



it's abit messy, but i make up for my slovenly typing etc by gettin' this done quick, eh?





Q: amber is here to answer your questions before you got cast as tara, were you already a fan of buffy?



A: yes. i was friends with alyson hannigan already and have always been a big fan of the show.



Q: do you think you have broken any significant boundaries playing willow's girlfiend?



Q: hi i was just wondering, what is it like to work w/ the cast of buffy. what was it like being the new girl in season 4



A: i think that portraying part of a couple that is part of the first lesbian relationship on network tv made me realise that there are very few role models out there for gay viewers. luckily its a wonderful group of people and they were very

encouraging to me when i joined the show. it was really like coming home



Q:has fame changed you in any way?



A: i get less sleep! and i'm not really famous yet. i'm still a big ****!



Q: what's it like working with SMG?



A: she's super nice and super professional



Q: do people confuse you with your character on buffy?



A: not really. i have gotten a few letters from young women asking me out...

but that's about it.



Q:who are you closests to on the set of buffy?



A: i really like to hang out with michell trachtenberg



Q: how did you first get into acting



A: i started dancing when i was really little and realised that i really enjoyed being on the stage. then i moved on into acting



Q: i hear you are currently filming your own film "chance'. is it to be producer whriter and director all at the same time?



A: i need more sleep! my brain is fried, but it's wonderful



Q: who else is gonna be in your movie from buffy? you mention "james" in your journal (which is great thanks so much for that) could it be the original mr. marsters?



A: i can tell you for certain that one of the writers, David fury, is going to be in it.



Q: if u got stuck in a lift with someone famous, who would it be and why?



A: well, if einstein was still alive, i would be very curious to find out what that man is all about. But if i were to mention a living person it would be the man who wrote



Q: what was it like creating a comic based on yourself (or at least your character) with Christopher golden. Has it made you consider submitting any storylines for BTVS? by the way your a fav actress



A: wanna blessed be.



working on another comic book and making a movie



(sorry folks. this is how the above came out. not sure how it's supposed to read)



Q: What has been your favorite ep to film?



A: I love 'Hush'



Q: if you could choose any two actors or actresses to act with, whou would they be?



A: albert finny and jude lawson because he's really cute!



Q: are you interested in witchcraft in real life?



A: it was definitely something that i was curious about but buffy keeps me so busy that i have no time to work on any charms



Q: did you get alot of negative mail from fans of seth green because u sort of took his place



A: yes. people adore seth and filling his shoes has been very difficult



Q: who is the funniest person in the cast?



A: Nicholas Brandon...



Q: you first appeared in Hush - were the gentlemen scary?



A: i went in for lunch and almost screamed becaus they were all sitting at the lunch table eating and it freaked me out... plus it was 11pm at night and we were having lunch. that didn't help either!



Q: Do any of the stars have annoying habits?



A: well, i can't speak for anybody else, but if i don't quit biting my nails i'm not going to have any fingers left!



Q: do you think btvs sets a precident for strong female characters in network tv?



A: hell yes! i think joss whedon has created the first tough female role model on network television for young women.



Q: how to you relate to tara in real life



A: i can be really insecure and nervous around people. i can also be really shy. we definitely share that trait.



Q: how long does it take to record one episode?



A: 8 days



Q: what did u think of anthony steward head's singing



A: the man is a singing god



Q: HI amber! i was wndering if you can give any info as to whether there is going to be a season 6?



A: i hope so. I don't want buffy to end. i love working on the show



Q: do you get as much male attention as alyson and sarah?



A: i probably get more female attention actually, altho i have gotten a marriage proposal from an 11 yr old boy in sussex



Q: how long is your contract with the show?



A: you will definitely be seeing me in season 5



Q: can we expect any large storylines or arcs for tara in season 5?



A: there's definitely a couple of episodes which explain more about where she comes from



Q: nonbuffy question - what type of music to you like?



A: i relly like jeff buckley and a guy named ryan adams



Q: would you like to be in a crossover?



A: that would be super cool. the cast of angel is super nice.



Q: What's the most memorable moment you have had on the show?



A: i think probaby moving that soda machine in 'hush'



Q: why don't we get to see tara and willow actually kiss, when all the straight characters do?



A: you're just going to have to wait and see- hint hint.



Q: if you could cast a spell on anyone living or dead who would it be and why



A: my sister - to try and get her to clean the house



Q: what is your best memory of your first day?



A: probably being scared silly by the gentlemen



Q: you have done animation such as king of the hil..did you like it and would you do it again?



A: i've never done an animated show but would lot to do one. i love cartoons.



Q: How far ahead does the cast get to know plotlines?



A: we usually don't know what's going to happen until we get the script. they are

very tightlipped about what's happening on the show



Q: did you get to work with Eliza Dushku when she appeared in series 4? if so how was

it working with her?



A: she was a doll. I love working with eliza. she's so much fun.



Q: would you like to do a spin off with alyson?



A: that would be fantastic. i don;t see it on the horizon, but it would be very cool.



Q: you knew alyson hannigan before buffy- how?



A: i met her thru mutual friends at a party



Q: are you looking forward to MAC making a BTVSfigure of you in the future?



A: i hope they never make none. i would be so embarrassed.



Q: do you get to keep any cool props/clothes etc from the show?



A: no. they keep everything.



Q: Did the cast have an initiation ceremony for you when you joined?



A: they dumped my head in the toilet and held me down until i cried



Q: I was wondering if you or any of the other cast members would be visiting the uk or ireland for promotional work over the easter or summer break. i always hear about these things too late.



A: I'll'be seeing them in june i will be at 'nocturnal' in the uk. I'll be in disguise tho. short little bald woman



Q: what's the best thing about being on buffy?



A: working with such cool people. joss whedon is a god



Q: what's the strangest thing you've received from a fan?



A: i have a lovely picture sitting in a trailer at work from

a young man who quoted some scripture and told me he loved me and gave me all his contact details. And it's framed!



Q: How do you see the future of buffy, with it shifting maybe from the wb and to upn? do you think it could survive?



A: i hope so. i think buffy is a wonderful show and deserves to go on for at least 10 seasons.



Q: how do you feel when you were offered the part in the series? were you aware of

the intentions of the scriptwriters when you accepted?



A: i had no idea that she and willwer were going to be lovers but i'm really really glad i was given the opportunity to play her.



Q: did you ahve fun making this episode (yoko factor) as it is the funniest i have seen



A: it's really cute. i like that episode alot.



Q: how would you recommend getting into the acting business?



A: gosh. i would say if you think you could survive w/o being an actor, don't do it.

it's a horrible, painful, wonderful but miserable business.



Q: How do you feel about people saying that you are encouraging kids to dabble with dark forces?



A: hey so do harry Potter and others. people take what they want from the media and we're only encouraging people to do positive things.



Q: is joss whedon as full of ideas as he seems to be? i always imagine him to be this

bottomless pit of enthusiasm.



A: Totally. He is a creative genious. All the things he comes up with blows my mind.



Q: Do you want to get vamped up later on in the series?



A: i think it would be fun to actually stake a vamp. that's what i'm waiting for.



Q: do you think you ahvebeen accepted by the fans as part of the scoobie gang?



A: i think i'm slowly starting to become ok with the fans. i mean who can take over

from seth green? it's impossible. you cant. i have to forge my own path



Q: if a film of your life was made, who would you like to play ou?



A: probably john cusack.. he's got the right amount of sarcasm.



Q: What plays did u act in school and which one of them did you enjoy the most?



A: i as a hen in some parnyard production in 3rd grade and i really liked the costumes.



Q: Whad do you think of buffy website? have you visted any?

i think there are som fantastic websites out there dedicated to buffy.



A: I'm always blown away by this woman known as Little Willow. she runs alot of websights and she's fantastic.



Q: So what do you make of spikes english accent?



A: i had no idea he wasn't english until i met him.



Q: do you enjoyu any british tv or films?



A: i love Mike Leight and Absolutely Fabulous



Q: What does your family feel about you acting a lesbian part



A: they have all been very supportive.



Q: When did you first realize that you are famous?



A: it hasn't hit me yet, so i must not be. i think when i cease to go to the batheroom then i can call myself famous.



Q: do you enjoy your role on buffy and would you change it atall ?



A: i feel really blessed to be playing Tara and i wouldn't change a hair on her head



Q: were you scared when you auditioned for buffy?



A: i get nervous for every audition. i always feel like i'm going to throw up.



Q: how busy is your schedule?



A: let's put it t his way - i look at my bed with longing. but i love every minute of it.



Q: do you sometimes slip into tara's character w/o realising it?



A: no not really. she's definitely a different person to me.



Q: if you could be in any tv show apart form buffy, which one would you choose?



A: south part. but not as myself.



Q: do you have any pets?



A: i have two cats and a dog and i love them dearly



Q: if you had to stuck on a desert island, what five things would you take with you and why



A: i would take 'the journey to the east' a book by herman hess. a computer with internet access. a cell phone to call my mother and tell her i was ok. a dvd of indiana jones and the last crusade



Q: amber what did it feel like to see yourself on tv for the first time?



A: it blew my mind. i was so embarrassed. it's so not fair to see yourself on tv like that

you just take yourself apart.

Edited by: DrG at: 3/22/03 4:57:35 am

[urnofosiris]

Originally posted by tvsurfer



Amber Benson/Tara in "Jump" Magazine



Who's the coolest lesbian Wicca on TV? Buffy's witchin' Tara, of course.

Amber's Burning Bright



Most teens know Amber Benson for her groundbreaking role as Tara, Willow's Wiccan girlfriend on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but she’s been in show business since she was a child and has worked with some of the biggest names in Hollywood. Now, with a slew of upcoming projects (and Buffy still going strong), the 24-year-old actress is taking the world by storm.

Born in Brimingham,AL , Amber's introduction to the spotlight began at the tender age of four, when she took up ballet. "I did the Nutcracker Suite and I realized I loved being on stage and having people applaud," Amber says. "It wasn't the actual dancing that was so thrilling -it was the aplause. So I kind of shifted from dancing to acting."



After moving with her family to Los Angeles, Amber got her first big break in King Of The Hill, a film by hot Erin Brockovich director Stephen Soderbergh. "I was so intimidated, but Stephen was so nice," she says. Parts in other movies followed, including The Crush with Alicia Silverstone, Bye Bye Love with Paul Reiser and Janeane Garofalo and Can't Hardly Wait with Jennifer Love Hewitt and future Buffy co-star Seth Green (unfortunately her scenes didn't make the final cut). Her introduction to everybody's favorite slayer sounds lik something out of a Hollywood screenplay. "I'd been friends with Alyson Hannigon [Willow] before she got Buffy, so I had always watched to see her and because it was such a good show," she says. "They asked me to come and audition, so I met with [series creator] Josh Whedon and the casting director. When I came for callbacks, I ran into Alyson and she got mad at me for not telling her I was up for a part. But, you kind of want to do these things on your own, you know? She said ' I'm going in there and making them give you the job!' So, she marched in and they told her I already had the part."

Being friends with so many of her castmates and co-workers, Amber admits her role as Tara doesn't feel much like work. "It’s like playing all day -everyone is really so great."



When Amber initially took the part of Tara, she didn't know she would be playing a gay love interest for her old friend. " It wasn't until three or four episodes later that I learned they wanted to take things in that direction." When Joss Whedon approached Amber abut playing a lesbian, she told him she was fine with it, but she just wanted to do the part justice. " There are so few role models for gay teens. This is really the first long-term lesbian relationship on TV and I knew it would make an impact," she says. " I was very happy with the way it was introduced -it wasn't about ratings or girls kissing. It's about two people, regardless of gender, who fall in love and treat each other with kindness and respect"

Amber’s friends and family have all been very supportive. " My grandparents don't know so much about it because they're very religious and old-fashioned," she says. "The whole 'vampire-demon-witch' thing is too much for them to begin with."



Amber confesses she still watches the show whenever she gets a chance. " You've gotta see what's happening in other scenes," she says “ Even if you read the entire script you’re only guessing what it’ll look like in the final cut.” She does admit that she can’t stand watching herself on TV. “ I usually close my eyes or change the channel when my character comes on.”



Unfortunately she doesn’t have any hints about upcoming plotlines or the show’s season finale in May. “They’re so tight-lipped –they don’t tell us anything! The only thing I know is that Britney Spears is not making a guest appearance. They talked to her about a part but she wasn’t available.”

Despite Buffy’s wildfire success, Amber lives a very normal life –sharing an apartment with her sister Danielle and her Dalmation, Pinnsylvania. “The people around keep me really grounded.” They also keep her rolling, since, surprisingly Amber doesn’t have a driver’s license. “ My mom gives me rides a lot, so does Sarah [Michelle Gellar]” she says, laughing, “ I’m at the studio so much, I don’t have much of a life anyway.”



She may not have time for a social life, but Amber’s got plenty of new projects on the horizon. This summer, she’ll star with Vince Vaughn and Julia Ormond in the move Prime Gig, about a group of telemarketers trying to scheme people out of their money. “I play a crazy and aggressive con-artist named Batgirl,” she says, “It’s a really sharp movie and a great part. I got to work with Vince Vaughn –who’s a total babe- and have multi-colored hair extensions and a nose ring.”

She’s also starring with two of Hollywood’s hottest properties –Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey McGuire- in Don’s Plum, which was shown at the Berlin film festival this past February.



One effort Amber is especially proud of is WannaBlessedBe, a special one-shot Willow and Tara comic she co-wrote for Dark Horse Comics. “I’m really proud of it,” she says. “Writing comics is a lot different than acting –for on thing, you have to come up with your own dialogue!” The book , about a girl who accidentally conjures up an evil goddess that the girls have to defeat, hits shelves in April.

Edited by: DrG at: 3/22/03 4:57:57 am

[urnofosiris]

Originally posted by xita



I found the Amber article on Teen Celebrity. It's embarassing as a 29 year old to buy this and for the clerk to yell out the title. Not good.

Standard Tara pic from this season accompanies the article, with this caption:



Look for a Tara and Willow comic book, co-written by Amber, in stores in April, plus her new movie, The Prime Gig, later this year.



Now the article by Amanda K. Berke



The Bewitching





Amber Benson





"I'm a big heel" were the first words Buffy The Vampire



Slayer's super apologetic Amber Benson ["Tara"]

uttered after missing our morning interview in her

haste to help her sister move back to school. Once we

chatted, it came clear that Amber is every bit as

thoughtful and true as the exemplary character she's

crafted. Come under her spell...



How did it feel when Tara become a central character?



When people who are really good at what they do think you're good at what you do, it's the best compliment. And, I didn't even know 'til like three or four episodes in that we [Amber and Alyson Hannigan's character "Willow"] were going to be an item. Joss [Whedon, executive producer/creator] kind of took me aside and said, "we feel like you guys really have chemistry, and we want to go in that direction."



Were you comfortable playing a lesbian?



I wasn't put off at all. I just knew it was going to make an impact, and I wanted to do the part justice. So far, I think we've done a bang up job with it; it's not about ratings; it's not about "ooh ... two girls kissing;" it's about two people, regardless of sex, who love each other and treat each other with compassion and respect. There are so many gay people out there, but people are still scared to put it on TV. I'm just lucky that I'm working with really progressive people who want to touch on reality.



Was it complicated since you were already friends with Alyson? That made it so much easier. She has a boyfriend, and I like boys, so there's no lesbian vibe between us. But, we're friends, so being kind of intimate isn't really that difficult 'cause girls are kinda like that with each other anyway. You know, you hold hands; it's not a big deal.



What's the reaction from fans?



I get the most incredible letters from young kids who don't really know what's going on inside of them. They think they're dirty or bad, and they're not. There's nothing wrong with finding someone attractive. There just aren't many gay role models. The only thing you get is off of the Internet, and that's not real. That's not seeing two people in a relationship. And, I think seeing us makes people feel like it's ok to have these feelings, that they can be shy and stutter and still get a really cute girl. I got a letter from a college professor who teaches an American Gothic class, and she said, "all these kids out there don't feel good about themselves, and they see



you guys. I've got students whose lives you've changed." Wow! When you become an actor, you don't think you're gonna have that kind of impact. Even before we defined Tara's sexuality, we learned her power.



What's it like to film a scene with witchcraft?



It's really cool. Sometimes, it's a guy up in the rafters, pulling a string so that a rose floats around, or it's looking at nothing 'cause the amazing guys that do the CGI effects are gonna be putting it in later. It was really funny when Alyson and I were doing the rose spell, and the rose was on a little like filament string that kept breaking! The most bizarre part of it, though, is seeing the monsters. You go down to have lunch, and there's some guy dressed like a demon, eating peas, and you're like, 11 oh my goodness, where am I today?"



What would you like to see Tara accomplish?



I want to vamp out once; that's my big hope. It's Probably



not gonna happen, but I'm still pulling.



Do you believe in witchcraft, vampires and stuff?



There's got to be something to it. There are too many unexplained things. I have never come across a vampire or a witch that I know of, but we could be walking around with Lestat for all we know.



Luckily, you'd have the know?how to kick his butt.



Yeah ... I'd call Sarah (Michelle Gellar]!

Edited by: DrG at: 3/22/03 4:58:22 am

[urnofosiris]

Transcribed by myself from a brief tv interview that was linked online, I think this was at some premiere.

Interviewer: Come closer, don't be shy...

Amber Benson: *cute giggles*

I: So how is it, you know, joining a show that already had some legs, and coming in as a series regular?

AB: You know, it was strange, because you walk into a situation where people already have relationships, but luckily I was friends with Alyson Hannigan, who plays my girlfriend on the show, before, and so er..walking in was like old home, because she was so...She'd prepared everybody. "Amber is really cool. Treat her right..." and it was just really cool walking in there and having like a family, so....

I: When you got the part, did they, you know, reveal what they were gonna end up at the end of the season revealing about you, or did they just start...

AB: No, I had no idea, and about 3 episodes in we had a talk and they said "this is kinda the direction we're gonna go. How do you feel? And I was like "Hey, I'm an actor, and I'm cool with it. I just hope I can do justice to the part." It's a big responsibility you know.

I: Isn't it more challenging and more rewarding at the same time now that you have this other side?

AB: Oh totally, totally...I mean, it's an actor's dream. You know, where you get to play a many layered character. It's like peeling an onion. You keep going, and there is more and more and more, and it just gets sweeter and sweeter as you go.
Well, not really like an onion I guess (laughs), but more like, I don't know, what's sweet when you go inside if you peeled it?

I: Ah er..I don't know, oranges or something?

AB: (giggling) My goodness..I'm getting...Woo! (more giggles)

I: Your favourite moment from last year on the set, where something, you know, when you are trying to get a serious scene done, you just can't and everybody got the giggles, and you know, special effects aren't working...

AB:We have this scene in the finale from last season, where Alyson and I are in Xander's dream. we're kinda hookery, we're kinda dressed up like slut chicks, like hot chicks and it was so funny, because everybody...We were like surrounded, everyone wanted to see what we looked like, all dressed up like hot chicks. So like all the teamsters are in there and everybody is coming in. People that don't need to be there.
So it was kinda funny, we were sort of laughing. You know, we just couldn't keep a straight face and everyone was like looking in on us. We were in an ice-cream truck.
High heels, you know, and push-up bra's...

I: To you it was Halloween, to them it was Victoria's secret.

AB: (laughs) Exactly...Two lesbians in an ice-cream truck together. Hmmmm......

Edited by: DrG at: 3/22/03 5:03:14 am

[urnofosiris]

Originally posted and transcribed by Dumbsaint



Okay, I'm transcribing the parts I have. I missed the first half hour, and at some point when I had to turn the tape over I missed a minute or so 'cause I didn't notice at first. D'oH! But here's the first section that I have finished for everyone who didn't get to listen. It comes into the middle of talking to a caller:

Adam: It’s a nice sweetening of it. You know, it’s like, here’s my problem, I’m too smart.



(Amber laughage in background)



Drew: I think too much. Yeah.



Adam: You know what it’s like? It’s like your taste buds being so developed that everything takes like crap. Instead it’s just like being numb in the mouth.



Amber: Hmmm…



Adam: It’s a good twist. It’s a good angle.



Drew: It’s like the way a dog smell is, that’s why dogs start smelling poo. Comes all around smelling like roses.



Adam: Right. Did you publicist come up with that? Too great a thinker to be smart?



Drew: But listen, for Brandy (the caller) as just sort of a basic book, there’s a book called The Search for the Real Self by a guy named Masterson, it’s pretty good to start with.



Adam: Okay, so she can’t afford therapy, she got molested, she had the retarded brother, just walking in on mom-



Drew: Yeah, this is trauma survival…



Amber: Handicapped.



Drew: Another good one for her would be The Drama of the Gifted Child , ‘cause I’m sure she was the caretaker of the family, too.



Adam: Alright. Lee?



Lee (Caller): Hi.



Adam: Hey, you’re 27.



Lee: Hey, Amber, would you go out with me?



(She’s really amused at this and laughs loudly- so cutely goofy)



Adam: Yes.



Amber: Thanks, Adam. Man, you’re making my love life just sing.



Adam: What do you for- uh, you’re single, right?



Amber: Um…



Adam: Got a boyfriend?



Drew: Lee, are you a lesbian?



Amber: (chuckly ironic snort kinda thing) ‘Am I a lesbian.’



Drew: No, Lee.



Amber: Oh!



Adam: Lee’s a good lesbian name. I think the best.



Lee: No, no.



Amber: Lee’s a guy. (laughs)



Drew: Oh.



Adam: Oh. She only dates lesbians.



Amber: (laughing) No, no! Stop it! Nah, you know- um, um, I’m not seriously dating anybody at the moment, but…



Adam: So, what are your qualifications, Lee?



Lee: Well, I’m a nice guy, I’m intelligent. And like you, Adam, I have a pristine penis, so…



(Amber chuckles)



Adam: Nice.



Lee: We’d work great together.



Drew: No, Adam has a stunt penis.



(Amber guffaw)



Adam: Well, what do you do for a living?



Lee: I’m a software engineer.



Adam: Ooh, that could be worth something. And what do you do, do you make good money?



Lee: Yeah. I make- to the tune of 60K a year.



Adam: To the tune of 60K a year. Which is, you know, nothing to a big actress.



Amber: He’s got a nice voice, though.



Adam: Yeah, and he’s confident. I like that in a man. Ah, you live in the Pasadena area?



Lee: Yep.



Adam: Mhmm, not too far out. And you’re 27 years old?



Lee: Yeah.



Adam: What do you look like? Describe yourself physically.



Lee: Um, about 6’2’’, I have… long hair.



Adam: Uh oh. What’s up with the long hair?



Amber: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute… you’ve got long hair…



Lee: Yeah.



Adam: Do you like long hair?



Lee: I’d cut it for you, Amber.



Amber: Have I ever gotten a letter from you?



Lee: Um, yes you did, in fact. I offered to be your chauffer.



Amber: (yellin’) Ooohhh my god, I knew it! I knew it! Oh my god. You were the talk of like, the Buffy production office.



Lee: Oh, really?



Amber: Oh yes, I showed everybody those pictures. (laughs)



Adam: What pictures?



Adam: What pictures?



Lee: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?



Amber: (laughing) You should see the look on Dr. Drew’s face.



Adam: What pictures? What pictures?



Lee: I sent Amber pictures of me, and my car, and offered to be her chauffer on the show, that she doesn’t drive.



Amber: He’s cute! He’s very sweet.



Adam: What kind of car do you drive?



Lee: Old Mercedes.



Amber: He said he’d paint it blue for me.



Adam: Nice.



Amber: And he sent me pictures of stuffed animals.



Drew: Pasadena’s actually not too far from here, you could come down here tonight.



Adam: Hold on a second. Hold on a second, retard. Now you’re really not thinking. The guy is taking pictures of stuffed animals? Isn’t that a little twisted? A 27 year old man? (to Amber) Do you like stuffed animals?



(Amber is laughing in the background)



Amber: I’ve gone beyond… the stuffed animal… phase of my life.



Adam: You’ve outgrown the stuffed animals?



Amber: I- I am, kinda, dating somebody, so I don’t think he would look too- I mean, it’s not serious, but like, you know, I’m, like, you know- it’s heading in that direction.



Adam: Serious direction.



Amber: Yeah.



Adam: Why, are you pregnant?



Amber: (feigning ) How did you know? God, do I-? can you-? (drops act) No, I’m not.



Adam: I can smell it on a woman.



Amber: No, I’m not. It would be the immaculate conception at this point.



Adam: Oh, really? Jesus Christ. Well, you live with your mom, what’re you gonna do?



(Amber cracks up laughing)



Adam: Lee? Sorry, buddy. You just find yourself a nice nerdy chick that lives around JPL (?) there.



Amber: No, he’s very cute! He’s very cute.



Adam: No, I’m not saying he’s not, I’m saying he needs a nice nerdy chick.



Amber: (she says something kinda unintelligible about him needing someone nice and not being psychotic)



Adam: Alright, Lee, don’t do anything stupid, you know?



Lee: Ah, okay.



Adam: Don’t like, kill a bird and take a picture of it.



Amber. No! It was very cute, very sweet.



Adam: Where do people get that energy? D’you know what I mean?



Drew: To send pictures and stuff?



Adam: Just to do anything.



Drew: Adam, please. I’m a- soulmate of yours, as far as that is concerned. That’s… we’re just waiting to die, you and I.



(Amber chuckles)



Adam: Yeah, we’d like to be left alone until we die.



Drew. Yeah.



Adam: Then, uh… send all the pictures you like.



Amber: I knew it was him! I just had this feeling, except Pasadena- I was like, wait a minute…



Adam: Well, how long ago did he send these pictures?



Amber: This was pretty recently. Well, he probably sent them a while ago. I just got them. So…



Drew: Why are they the talk of the production office?



Amber: ‘Cause I was upstairs and I got my mail and I opened it and I was like, ‘Oh my god, oh my god, this guy offered to be my chauffer.’ And I read the letter, and everybody was like, ‘Oh, that’s so cute, ha ha ha!’ and they actually have some of the stuffed animal pictures up in the production office.



(Someone starts playing creepy stabby killer type “reeeee reeee reeee!” music.)



Adam: Taking pictures of stuff- did you announce that you are into stuffed animals?



Amber: N-no, but everybody was talking- I guess, there’s something called a ‘plushy’? Who likes to have- (breaks of giggling) sex with stuffed animals. (laughing)



Drew: Oh, yeah- is he one of those?



Adam: Oh, is that what a plushy is?



Amber: Oh, no, no I don’t think so but at the office, obviously, they go right to that. ‘Oh, is he a plushy?!’ I’m like, I don’t think so. You know, I think it was just to show that- he was nice. Although I was very offended because he had a picture of himself next to a poster of Alyson Hannigan who plays my girlfriend.



Adam: Oh, that is such BS.



Amber: But he said there was no poster of me, so…



Adam: They gotta come out with one.



Amber: I would die if there was a poster of me.



Drew: He wants to be in Alyson’s place.



Amber: Probably. Probably.



Adam: Hey, Sid?



Sid (Caller): Yeah.



Adam: What’s up?



Sid: Not much. Bad times, man.



Adam: Yeah, Bad times? What’s the matter?



Sid: Yeah. Well, uh… I dunno-



Drew: Your name’s Sid.



Sid: Yeah, uh, a question for Dr. Drew really. Yeah.



Drew: Yeah.



Sid: I dunno, kinda, no one really came to me and told me, but- just small drops and hints from people and, uh, stuff I’ve come to realize that I’ve got halitosis, which is, you know, horrible horrible bad breath.



Amber: Mhmm.



Sid: You know, you can smell you from here for a mile.



Drew: Alright, so… there’s a lot of things you can do to try to help that, right?



Sid: Alright, so far I’ve gone to the local drug store and bought the expensive, you know, the good mouthwash. They do absolutely nothing.



Drew: Have you gone to the dentist to make sure you don’t have any bacteria?



Sid: Well, I do- I-



(Someone plays some sound cue of someone stuttering, how mean)



Sid: I wake up- I wake up in the morning and I have a later of white, I dunno, gross stuff all over my tongue that takes me about 45 minutes of scraping with the tongue scraper to get it off of my tongue, and then that only lasts for about an hour.



Amber: Maybe with the stomach or something?



Drew: It could be a lot of things. Have you seen the dentist?



Sid: Well, I- the last time I went to the dentist was just for finding out about it, and I was kinda nervous about it, and I just said something to her, as I was going out, I didn’t make a big deal out of it, I said, ‘Well, how do you take care of bad breath?’ and she said ‘Well, just brush your teeth real good.’



Drew: No, you need to go back.



Amber: Mhmm.



Drew: There are actually- the majority of the really bad (something?) breath problems is bacteria that grows at the back of the tongue. And there’s special brushes they can give you, and to measure the (?). There’s reflux from the stomach, that might be from whatever you’re eating.



Amber: Uh huh.



Drew: You might want to keep your diet kind of bland. There’s-



Adam: What, you should just eat chalk?



Amber: Jell-o.



Drew: And, uh, shredded wheat.



Adam: Charcoal and plain yogurt?



Drew: And then there’s uh- your mouth… hygiene, to make sure there’s not any bacterial growth in there that could be causing bad smell.



Adam: Yeah, a-and th-



Drew: There’s a lot of things you can do, and then, it sounds like you might have a yeast infection in the mouth.



Adam: Eeewwww!



Drew: Called ‘thrush.’ And that can make a funky smell.



Adam: Eeewww! There’s- there’s dentists that pretty much specialize in this, these days.



Drew: There are indeed.



Adam: I was at a movie today, I walked out because someone had funky breath.



Drew: Oh really? (yucky noise)



Adam: Yeah, I really, I, you know, I think it’s because I’m a big star now and a literal millionaire.



Amber: Yeah, you can’t take the bad breath and the yawning and the snoring.



Adam: I just, I got nestled in between five of the worst people I’d ever met in my life, and about 20 minutes into the film, I’ve just had an assful of this-



Drew: Instead of leaving the theater, why didn’t you just move seats.



Amber: Yeah. What-?



Adam: I didn’t even wanna be in the same theatre. You know why?



Drew: Let it go so long you got angry.



Adam: No. Here’s what happened. I saw, I went to see the movie Bandits. And the movie is one of these that starts at the ending, and lays it all out, and then- and then proceeds-



Drew: You missed that because you were too distracted by the smells.



Adam: No, I missed that because I had the A-holes- you know these A-holes who pile in right at the beginning of the movie?



Amber: And they talk the whole time?



Adam: You know what I’m talking about? You’re sitting there for 25 minutes watching the popcorn, Mr. Popcorn dance.



Amber: Yeah, the trivia on the screen.



Drew: With the Good N’ Plenty dancing around.



Adam: Right. The whole concession stand band, Dixieland band.



Amber: It’s changed recently, actually.



Adam: And you’re sitting there the whole time, and then right when the movie begins here comes the guy and this chick and her friend, and then there was like a retarded guy behind me who kept repeating what they were saying.



Drew: Wow.



Adam: He was actually a little bit retarded.



Drew: So the Rainman sitting behind you?



Adam: Yeah. And there was a woman and her son who were behind me, too. And they were just having conversations like animals. You know, people are like animals, the dumb ones. You know how a dog will like, lick its balls in front of the queen. Just right in front of the Queen. The Queen of England could be standing there, dog would lick his balls.



Amber: I dunno if that’s stupidity or just- you know…



Adam: No, that’s just evolution. They’re down on the chain. And you know how stupid people get into arguments in front of other people. Like on ‘COPS’ the guy’s got his gun drawn and he’s like, ‘Sir, lay down. On your face!’ and the guy is walking to him, waving a sprinkler key saying, ‘What do you want?’ And the guy keeps yelling, ‘Down, down on your face.’



Amber: Down, down, down or I’m gonna shoot you.



Adam: And he keeps yelling ‘What do you want,’ and waving the sprinkler key with his shirt off. That’s stupidity! And people who talk and don’t think other people can hear them, or don’t care, or just not really in their- it’s not really in their mind.



Amber: He’s off on a diatribe, isn’t he?



Adam: Yeah, they’re just sittin’ there just having a conversation in the theatre. That’s stupid. And we like to call it a bunch of other things, but it’s really stupid. Isn’t is just stupid?



Amber: Or self-involved.



Drew: Yeah, one piece of it’s stupid.



Adam: How smart do you think that person is? Do you think they’re stupid in the theater and a genius in the financial world outside of that?



Amber: Maybe.



Adam: No way!



(Amber cackles. Heh.)



Adam: No way. No! It’s like the dog licking his balls, they’re closer to the dog than they are to Tony Randall, who I would put at the top of the human evolutionary scale.



Amber: Tony Randall?



Adam: From the Odd Couple. You remember him.



Amber: Yeah, yeah- Felix, I know. The clean freak.



Adam: Yes, he was the clean one.



Amber: Yeah, I know.



Adam: We put him at the top. Yeah, they’re just having a conversation and then this other one’s having a conversation, retarded guy, and then this bad breath starts coming in, and I’m like-



Amber: I thought you said ‘bad breast,’ I’m sorry. (laughing)



Adam: Bad breast. Bad breath.



Drew: That would offend him, too.



Adam: I’m going insane, after about 20 minutes…



Amber: I felt bad for this guy, Sid, though… he should just not worry about it. He needs to go in and talk to his dental person and deal with it.



Drew: Yeah.



Amber: He shouldn’t be freaked out about it, he just needs to get it taken care of. And… speak up for himself.



Adam: Alright, where was I? Amber Benson here from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She’s a big lesbian.



(Amber giggles)



Adam: We’ll be back.



(break)



I'll keep plugging away at it throughout the day. Heehee. She's so cute.





======================



(back from yet another way too long break, this one including the over five minutes long Mexican national anthem, which 91X here in San Diego plays religiously every night @ midnight. It’s long. Real long. And it hurts me. But back to the show!)



Drew: Hey, it’s Loveline.



Adam: Thank you there, Drew. (scatting death metal style as Drew snickers in the background) Never gets old for you, does it, Drew?



Drew: Never! I just wish people could have heard what we heard that one lovely afternoon in Pasedena, behind the stage of System of the Down (?)



Adam: To be fair to the band, we were behind the stage. (starts up with the scatting death metal stuff again)



Drew: But that’s what we heard!



Adam: (yet more scary syllables) Hey!



Amber: I’m so out of the loop, I don’t even know.



Adam: You’re not hip to the System Up And Down (again with the ???). Very hot, with the kids.



Amber: I’m gettin’ old.



Adam: Amber Benson, ladies and gentlemen, is our guest tonight. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. UPN. Tuesdays, 8 o’clock.



Amber: You know there’s like a porno that’s Muffy the Vampire Layer.



Adam: Well, you know you’ve arrived.



Amber: Yep. Not me. Other people, but…



Adam: Well, you know the show has arrived when the porn industry-



Amber: Yeah. The show has COME. It has hit its uh- it’s climax. (Amber laughage)



Adam: Good! Sixth season everybody.



Amber: (beat) God, I hope it’s the sixth. It is the sixth, isn’t it?



Adam: I was gonna say fifth, but-



Amber: It is, it is!



Adam: Okay, six. Let’s talk to-



Amber: I’m getting senile.



Adam: To uh… Sagen?



Drew: Saigon?



Adam: Hello?



Drew: Who?



(weird over the phone background noise)



Amber: It’s like playin’… Ozzy Osborne backwards.



Drew: Is it a guy?



Adam: Alright. Should we put ‘em on hold?



(someone in the booth starts playing a clip of Ozzy stammering something or other, sounding out of his head… “I-I-I-I-I-I used to do a little screwing around with my medication…”)



Amber: Who’s that?



Adam: That’s Ozzy.



Drew: Ozzy Osborne.



Amber: Was it? (laughs)



Adam: Who else was it?



Amber: I dunno!



Adam: See, you call it, we play it.



Amber: Wow.



Adam: Debra? You’re 24?



Debra (Caller): Yeah. I just want to say something, um- you were talking about the morning after pill and a few months ago my friend told me that she was having sex with her boyfriend when the condom broke. And she was freaking out ‘cause she’s not on the pill, and because I’ve been listening to your show for eight years I knew to ask her if it’d happened in the last 72 hours and got her to Planned Parenthood and got her the morning after pill. And she didn’t get pregnant.



Amber: Wow.



Drew: God bless you, Debra.



Amber: You rock!



Debra: Well, God bless you guys, ‘cause I’ve been listening to you and that’s how I know.



Adam: Thanks!



Drew: Ahhh, thank you. Thank you. I feel purposeful. I’m comin’ back tomorrow night!



(Amber chuckles)



Adam: Hey, uh, I just never have heard anyone else talk about this, and it seems to be something that would make quite a positive impact on our society. And I just wonder where all the politicians are when it comes to things that could actually impact society.



Amber: They’re still saying you can’t get pregnant the first time.



Drew: Ha!



Adam: Annnyways…



Amber: Abstinence!



Adam: Yeah, I told that old hag Maxine Waters about it, but she didn’t know what I was talking about.



Drew: But the fact that the abstinence method and this should go hand in hand.



Amber: Yeah, totally! You can’t preach one without the other, ‘cause kids aren’t gonna-



Drew: The problem is they’ve gone these disparate paths, and that’s the hugest- to the detriment of young people.



Adam: By the way, I don’t know why but I was just thinking about this the other day. Hold on a second, Debra. Remember when we had that crazy chick on from the abstinence council?



Drew: Oh, yeah.



Adam: And, uh, she said that uh, you know, here’s the thing about these people: they’re religious nutjobs. They don’t get laid, so they don’t want anyone else to get laid. That’s the through current here.



Amber: (laughing) God forbid anybody enjoys their lives.



Adam: All the abstinent people, the people who preach this, can’t get laid, so now they have a legitimate cause behind the reason they can’t get laid. They’ve made it legitimate. And uh, this woman, who reminded me- kinda reminiscent of a Jane Hathaway, from the Beverly Hillbillies, had about that much sexuality to her.



Amber: Awww.



Drew: What was her boss’s name?



Adam and Amber: Mr. Dreisdale!



Drew: Yes.



Adam: Yeah, I would have rather blown Mr. Dreisdale than had sex with this woman.



(Amber cackles)



Adam: But she came on the show-



Amber: Did she now?! She came on the show? (naughty giggle)



Adam: I was arguing with her about some of this stuff, and one of the things she said was that the birth control pill, that there was data to support the fact that the birth control pill, that taking the birth control pill made you more susceptible to getting HIV.



Drew: And cancer, too. She went on about it.



Adam: And I said the reason more people who get HIV are on the birth control pill is because they don’t use condoms. And that’s why the data would seem to suggest that they would be at a higher risk group.



Amber: They’re not thinking about the other things you can get, yeah.



Adam: She said nope, it’s not the condom thing, or not only that, but she actually has data to support that the birth control pill actually weakens your immune system so that you can contract HIV. And I said, nope, you don’t have any of that data. And she said, oh yes we do. And I said, well…



Amber: You got in a fight with her, didn’t you? (more Amber cackles, whee!)



Adam: I said well, what is that data? And she said ‘I do not have that data here, but-



Amber: I’ll fax it to you!



Adam: ‘It is substantial.’ And what did I say, Drew?



Drew: ‘Kiss my ass,’ if I recall.



Adam: No. I said ‘There’s no data! If you had data you’d bring it in.’



Drew: No, she quoted this one guy. This one guy.



Adam: But here’s my point.



Amber: There are many (something), I mean, the trials are-



Adam: I told her ‘go back to your office, get that data and send it on in. I’ll gladly read it over the air. But I know you’ll never do it because it doesn’t exist.’ And she never did it, of course.



Drew: Whenever it’s the opinion of one person, you really should look at it with a very jaundiced point of view, because it’s one thing one person reporting on a discipline or lots of people’s points of view-



Amber: Well, it’s gonna be subjective on top of that-



Drew: But if it’s not an entire community supporting a particular point of view, if it’s one person against the world… that person is up to something. He’s acting out.



Adam: Well, anyway… whatever her name was, I can’t remember what it is, we’re still waiting on that stuff.



Amber: Rebecca, I think? Oh, no, no. (Still back on Ms. Hathaway? Hehe)



Adam: Here’s my thing-



Amber: The lady from… abstinence…



Adam: You’re lying. She’s a lying bitch. That’s what I wanted to say. Do you know what I’m saying, Drew? She was lying! She was sitting there and lying. She had no data.



Drew: I don’t know that.



Adam: Oh, you think that she had substantial data that she couldn’t recall?



Drew: I think she- No, I think she had this one guy, this BS nonsense-



Adam: But do you think that number meant anything?



Drew: No. But I don’t think she knows that. I think these people they delude themselves-



Adam: No, they know it! They know it. If they have numbers that sound good, they will memorize those numbers.



Drew: Oh, I see what you’re saying.



Adam: She did not know the numbers. She knew every other number.



Drew: Right right right.



Adam: She didn’t know that number.



Drew: You’re right.



Adam: Because it wasn’t a number.



Amebr: She’s just trying to get her point across any way she can.



Adam: Of course. Even if it just means LYING! It is lying! So come on, liar! Call up!



Amber: Soft definition.



Adam: Call up. You got nothing, you lying bitch.



Amber: Awww, maaan!



Adam: That’s why you’re not calling, you puss! Go hump your Bible!



Drew: Debra… oh my God!



Amber: I don’t wanna get on his bad side!



Adam: So listen! How come we don’t beat on these people?! They sit here and they lie. She was lying to our face. ‘Oh, I’ll have to check that data.’ That’s BS, honey, you’ve got nothing! And we never heard from her again, so if anyone’s listening and they know her, tell her to send it on in. C’mon, give me that data!



Amber: Someone’s-



Adam: Ya lying bitch! Debra?



Debra: Hi.



Adam: Thank you.



Debra: Sure.



Adam: They’re trying to screw us all over.



(Amber and Debra laugh)



Adam: That’s what she’s doing! We’ve gotta live with these kids that aren’t wanted. Go ahead, Debra.



Debra: Okay. Um, I started taking a diet pill, I’ve taken it just a few times, and I dunno if it’s my imagination or not but I have uh, it’s sort of a pain in my lower back, when I-



Drew: Which pill?



Debra: It’s called Xenadren (sp?).



Drew: Xenadran. Do not take that crap, please?



Amber: Yeah.



Drew: Isn’t there ma wang (sp?) in that? There’s like ephedra (?), alright? And the stimulants can give you back pain.



Debra: Is that what it is?



Drew. Yeah.



Adam: Why? Why do stimulants-



Debra: Do you know if Allegra would give me back pain?



Drew: Allegra? Allegra should not gonna give you back pain.



Debra: Well, one of the symptoms on the website is back pain.



Drew: Here’s what- almost any medication can give you back pain, it turns out. And the reason, as I understand it- listen, this is actually kinda complicated, and I have no good way of describing it with science except to say clinically, we see this all the time. And in my experience it’s sorta been pills that make you feel worn out…



Debra: Mhmm?



Drew: -give you back pain. It’s almost like, somehow your central stabilizing muscles aren’t working so well, and you just feel tired. Like I took Acutan for a while, and it gave me horrible back pain.



Adam: Right.



Drew: There’s like, no reason for that. It just- I was tired all the time from it.



Amber: Mhmm.



Drew: And it gave me bad back pain. We also see, Debra, back pain with stimulants, and from opiates.



Amber: Hmmm.



Drew: Okay?



Debra: And is that because it makes you tired?



Drew: Mmm, probably not. It’s probably more- I just, is there- I’ve always thought it was associated with, I only thought I was seeing it in addicts. Do you have alcoholism in your family somewhere?



Debra: Um, no. I uh- there’s addiction, but it’s not alcohol, but yeah, it’s the same gene-



Drew: Alright, so you may have the gene. And what I think I’m seeing, from that, from stimulants and opiates is something we call ‘pain reward cycle’ which is when your body learns that you’re gonna give it a reward, it’ll cause the pain that motivates you to go give yourself that reward.



Amber: Hmm.



Drew: And so that’s what I think is going on.



Adam: Alright. Hey baby, uh, lay low on the carbs and get some exercise.



Debra: Thank you.



Amber: Yeah, don’t take that crap!



Adam: And remember, you’re not gonna change your shape that much.



Drew: You’re fat.



Adam: You just gotta find a guy that likes that.



Amber: You didn’t say that.



Debra: Thank you, Adam.



Adam: Well, it’s true! I’m taking the pressure off. You’ve got a big butt, right?



Amber: Join the club. I think- that’s just bein’ a woman, my dear.



Debra: Thank you!



Adam: There are guys who are into that, you just find one of those guys.



Amber: I can’t tell you how many guys would rather go to bed with something that’s got a little meat on its bones than, you know, these little stick-skeleton dead wom- girls.



Adam: Yeah, especially black guys. They love that. Listen-



Amber: You have experience with this?



Adam: I’ve slept with black guys.



(Amber guffaw)



Adam: They always call me scrawny. Hey Drew, seriously-



Drew: Hey Adam!



Drew: Hey, hey!



Amber: Whoa!



Adam: Speaking of big asses, Drew. (as an aside) I’m not sure about the blacks. (end aside) Have you ever met anyone who’s really changed their shape, too much? Male or female?



Drew: Not without surgery.



Adam: Thank you. That’s the sad reality.



Amber: Hmmm.



Adam: I mean, think about the people that have that shape, whatever shape, good or bad, whatever your shape is, male or female, whatever shape they are- and then, you see ‘em ten years later? Same shape. Once in a while someone loses a few pounds, looks a little bit better, but basically, everyone you know looks the same as-



Amber: The problem is that I work with actors- um, and I’m not even talking about my- the show I’m on now, but like, just being- doing this for ten years, I’ve seen people go from looking completely normal and beautiful and healthy to little skeletons. I mean, it’s really, I mean- they DO change their shape.



Drew: Their shape is the same, it’s just the skeleton version.



Amber: The shape- exactly! Exactly.



Adam: Yeah, sure, if you’re-



Amber: It’s scary.



Amber: If you’re put into a-



Amber: It’s not worth it, either, lemme tell ya.



Adam: If you’re put in a concentration camp, your shape will change.



Drew: But I think, ah, guys can change their shape more than the women can.



Adam: Yeah, ‘cause guys go to the gym and they pump their arms up and they take a lot of creatine.



Amber: They’re building muscle, they’re not changing shape.



Drew: Right, it just means-



Adam: Even if they end up looking like the same dude with big arms.



Amber: Yeah, and no legs. (laughs) That cracks me up, guys with big arms and nnno legs.



Adam: Yeah, I got the no arms, no penis look that women seem to enjoy.



(Amber giggles)



Adam: Peter?



Peter (Caller): Yes.



Adam: You’re 28?



Peter: Yes, sir.



Adam: What’s up?



Peter: Well, I don’t seem to be as… uh, sexually active as I used to be.



Drew: Alright. What’s changed?



Peter: Uh, well I’ve got a couple of things going on. As far as my work, concentrating on work…



Drew: What do you do for a living?



Peter: I do cable TV upgrades.



Drew: Oh, you gotta concentrate on that.



Adam: Yeah.



Drew: That’s very taxing.



Adam: Takes you on the road.



Amber: So he’s kinda stressed out.



Drew: So, do you have a girlfriend? Or whatever?



Peter: No, I- I’m married, I’ve got three kids.



Drew: Alright.



Peter: I’ve been married for seven years. When my wife and I first met, I mean, we were having sex… fifteen times a day. (Here Julia coughs. Cough cough cough. Cough LIAR cough.)



Drew: Are you depressed?



Peter: Ah, not depressed, I mean, I like where I’m headed in life.



Drew: And how’s your relationship with your wife?



Peter: Pretty good. You know, we argue just as much as any normal couple.



Drew: Are you still attracted to her?



Peter: Yes. Very much.



Drew: Maybe you’re just stressed, from working hard.



Adam: Well, he’s 28, he sounds like he’s 68, doesn’t he?



Amber: Sounds like he’s stressed out. But he’s got three kids, too. It’s hard to find time to, you know…



Adam: Drew’s got three kids, he’s still very virile.



(Amber giggles)



Adam: You don’t believe me? I’ll give you a run down during the commercial break.



Peter: I’ve got this other thing going on where I’ve lost the ability to smell.



Drew: Oh! That’s-



Peter: I know that has a lot to do with attraction.



Drew: No no no no no. Actually, this is quite interesting-



Adam: (making fun) No no no no no no.



Drew: There’s actually something called Calman’s syndrome where you can lose sense of smell, and your testes kind of shut down. You get hypogonadism and lack of sense of smell.



(Adam makes a pained noise)



Adam: My nuts hurt just hearing that.



Amber: He needs to go to the doctor.



Drew: Yeah, and Peter, that’s actually something that does need to be looked into right away. That’s an interesting, yeah-



Amber: Go to the doctor now.



Drew: This is a- the pheromone thing-



Peter: Question. Now, do I go to an ears mouth throat specialist, or-



Drew: No. You go to an endocrinologist.



Amber: Or go to your general doctor and they’ll refer you.



Drew: Yeah, start with internists. But you need- it’s a pretty specialized thing to sort out. Um, and I would start with- use your family doctor, but then go to an endocrinologist. That’s where that’s gonna be- they’re gonna sort it out.



Adam: Did he just lose the ability to smell on his own and never check into it?



(weird sniffling noise)



Drew: Ask him.



Adam: Peter?



Drew: Peter?



Amber: What was that?



Adam: Maybe he’s running to the endocrinologist.



Drew: He just let it happen. ‘Oh, there it goes…’ I mean it could be just, sinuses…



Adam: Drew, you could have used that last week when I was in here fartin’ up a storm.



Drew: Oh, I would have loved it.



Amber: Oh, no.



Adam: But what about the shrinking nads.



Drew: Yeah, that’s kind of sad.



Adam: Let me say this real quick. I’m not going on a tirade, but I just wanna say I love the fact that these cable TV companies, these rapists, are now all scrambling trying to get their acts together to put out some kind of product, when for the last twenty years they’ve just been putting out this sort of sub-par product and charging everybody an arm and a leg for it.



(silly Amber giggles)



Adam: I love the fact that you guys are now scrambling, scared, losing money and having to actually do something. I hope you all go under, by the way, you idiots.



(Amber cracking up in a cutely dorky fashion)



Drew: I’m gonna get the first direct broadband access from uh, Direct TV, in southern California.



Adam: Ohhh!



Drew: That’s a big deal! I’m getting-



Adam: What do you mean it’s a big deal?



Amber: Oh, that’s nnnice!



Drew: You don’t use a computer.



Amber: Yeah, you can do everything.



Drew: And it just all happens (makes snapping noise) magic.



(wistful sigh from Amber… ‘scuse me while I swoon)



Drew: It goes so that a download that would take an hour takes like, three minutes.



Adam: What are you downloading?



Drew: Just yesterday I downloaded a zip file operation-



Amber: Media files.



(weird porno-esque moaning noise)



Adam: Porn! Right?



Drew: No! You would love it for that, I have no doubt, but- I-



(Amber giggles)



Adam: What’s zip?



Drew: I’m doing a power point presentation next week, so- you don’t understand this stuff!



Adam: You two, with your movie making and your power point presentation. Just relax! Relax.



Amber: (gushing) I looove computers. I love that stuff.



Adam: Relax, both of you.



Amber: I just lost my DSL connection, I’m scaaa! (mock-sobbing type noise)



Drew: See? You may be next for the broadband. The satellite broadband.



(D’oH! This is where my tape cuts out for a minute or two while the clicky sound my stereo made registered in my brain as, “Aw, crap! My butt needs to get out of this chair and over there to flip that beotch over.” And we come back early into the creepy semi-reformed child molestor caller…)



Guy: Well, um, right now, um, I’m trying to break the- find a good way to break the news to my girlfriend that I am a former juvenile sex offender.



Drew: Former.



(Amber sigh-age, a long sigh that is probably a signal of troubledness at this caller but it comes across as being really rather sultry… I’m so going to hell, but hey! It’s Amber… Julia sigh-age…)



Adam: Hold on. Is this Steven Hawkings? Is he speaking through one of those like, electronic translator things?



Drew: He reminds me of that guy James that was zoophiliac (sounds like ZO-philiac when he says it) that we had.



Amber: What’s zo-philiac?



Adam: No, he reminds me of one of those guys with those boxes.



(Sound clip: “This conversation can serve no purpose anymore.”



Drew: Ah, animal…



(Amber groans softly at this. God, this is starting to sound one of my fics, isn’t it? Well, without the zoophilia.)



Drew: Aaron (caller’s name, it seems), so what do you mean ‘former juvenile sex offender.’



Aaron: Well, I’m 19 right now. I’m not a present juvenile sex offender. I’m 19, I’m past juvenile.



Adam: Right.



Drew: So you’re still-



Adam: Well, he went- he’s no longer a juvenile sex offender because he’s over 18.



Drew: But I imagine, at under 18, he wasn’t having sex with people over 18, it meant he was having sex with younger people, right?



Adam: Yeah, I would assume that.



Drew: How old, Aaron, were the people you were having sex with?



Aaron: (beat) Could you repeat that?



Drew: How old were the people you were offending on?



Aaron: Um, it ranged form 6 to 15.



(Amber makes a pained noise. Julia wants to hug her.)



Adam: (making an ass of himself) Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy behavior.



Amber: Not.

[urnofosiris]

Drew: Yeah, how do you not do that now?



Aaron: ‘Scuse me?



Drew: How is it you’re not doing that kind of thing, or don’t have that kind of impulse now?



Aaron: Well, um, when I was 14 and got caught in the act, I went to a sex offender treatment program, and you know, they beat you down, I mean, every time you check out a girl you get your monkey stomped and your brain sent back to your mother, but you know… I mean, they put you through a program, and then, you know, I mean, I’m one of the ones who actually changed my ways and you know, I don’t have any impulses anymore, and the only problem- the only real problem I have is my problem with pornography.



Drew: And that’s uh, juvenile pornography?



Aaron: Um, right now I’m withdrawing.



Drew: Withdrawing from that?



Aaron: Yeah.



Drew: Did you ever get into animals or anything of that sort?



Aaron: No.



Adam: Oh, Drew, what do you mean? He’s not a sick-o. Yeah, and uh-



(Some real tasteful chap in the booth chooses this moment to play a sound cue of sheep bleating.)



Adam: He’d only jack off to veal, though, the cows were too old.



Amber: Well, usually that’s somebody who’s had that perpetu- you know-



Adam: Yeah, we would assume that.



Amber: (murmuring to herself) Perpetrate.



Adam: So, Aaron, you have a girlfriend now?



Aaron: Yeah.



Adam: And how old is she?



Aaron: Nineteen.



Adam: Alright. And you want to tell her about this?



Aaron: Yes.



Adam: You do?



Aaron: Well, you know, she’s my girlfriend, she has a right to know.



Amber: Yeah, she does. You have to be honest with her, I mean-



Adam: Really?



Amber: Yeah, you do. I mean, this is someone he could potentially spend a long- a long time with, and she needs to be aware, you know, of what- of what he, you know, of his past.



Drew: Who he is.



Amber: Yeah, exactly.



(Adam makes a protesting noise)



Amber: Someone she could possibly have children with, you know?



Drew: Are you still in treatment, Aaron?



Aaron: Actually, no.



Drew: Are you supposed to be?



Aaron: Well, you know- (kinda laughs, not sounding real convincing here)



Drew: Oh!



Aaron: I’m not, well-



Drew: Yes.



Amber: Yeah.



Aaron: Well, I’m in foster care right now, but um, you know, on the 15th of November I’m being released.



Drew: But aren’t you supposed to still be in treatment for your impulses?



Aaron: Ah, no. No, I graduated a few months ago.



Drew: You go to some kind of 12 step program?



Aaron: Actually, you know, it’s not really a 12 step program, it’s something where you have to work your way up, you know, you know it’s not really an easy process, and you know, sometimes you go back… you know…



Amber: Is there somebody following your case right now that you go see?



Aaron: Um, well, there was for quite a while, when I was still having therapy, and you know… once I graduated they figured that I didn’t really need to worry about that. You know…



Adam: Yeah, I know. Once you got your diploma you’re out of there. It’s like, uh-



Aaron: Yeah, that’s why they’re kicking me out.



Adam: Well, how do you feel? I mean, do you feel like you’re going to re-offend?



Aaron: Oh, no.



Adam: No?



Aaron: Nah.



Drew: He said ‘I don’t know.’



Aaron: No.



Adam: No, I think he said ‘no.’



Amber. ‘No.’



Aaron: I said ‘no.’



Amber and Adam: Yeah.



Adam: That’s not something you wanna do again?



Aaron: Well, it’s- you know, too many people get hurt in the process… and you know…



Amber: Damn straight. Damn straight.



Aaron: And I won’t- I won’t even dare go and take something from the store anymore let alone- let alone, um-



Adam: What happened to you growing up? Did somebody do this to you?



Aaron: Actually, I’m one of the few that, you know, never had it happen to ‘em.



Drew: Really?



Amber: Wow.



Drew: That doesn’t make sense.



Adam: You’ve gotta admire that in a way.



Drew: Were you physically abused?



Aaron: Um, yes.



Drew and Amber: Okay.



Adam: So, your dad beat on you?



Aaron: Yes, but, you know, it kind of reversed, because when I was 12 I- you know, I got tired of it and started beating the crap out of him.



Adam: Outta him?



Aaron: Yeah.



Adam: Oh, good!



Drew: Yeah, thank- yeah.



Adam: Hope you killed him.



Amber: Uhh. (disconcerted noise)



Adam: Yeah! Fine. Listen, here’s uh, here’s the deal…



Amber: (starts to laugh) He’s gonna- he presses the button, he’s gonna give me a lecture now.



Adam: Yeah, you know in uh, Frankenstein? They went up to Dr. Frankenstein’s castle and they basically burned him down?



Amber: Yeah.



Adam: You know what I’m saying? Because he basically created this monster and then he let it loose on the village. And these parents…



Amber: Yeah, but then by doing something like going after and killing somebody that abused you, you just make your- what you’re dealing with even worse. You know what I mean?



Adam: Nah, I’m fine with that.



Amber: (laughs) Okay.



Adam: ‘Cause that guy could have other kids he was abusing.



Drew: The father, yeah.



Adam: You create these monsters and then you turn them loose on the world.



Amber: No, it’s not right. No. It’s totally not right, but-



Adam: And they created this, these guys by physical or sexual abuse.



Amber: But this isn’t the mo- we’re not living in a movie where you kill the bad guy and you miraculously don’t ever think about it again.



Drew: Yeah, you’re better.



Adam: No. Oh, no, he’ll never be the same again.



Amber: No.



Adam: I’d just feel better. I- it’s just- it’s not like-



Amber: (chuckling) Well, as long as you feel better then everything’s okay.



Adam: It doesn’t solve the problem. It’s just, why not? You know, we’re gonna go kill bin Ladin, hopefully, God willing, very soon. And it’s probably not gonna solve too much, but we’ll all feel a little bit better. It’ll be fine. We deserve that.



(music comes up like in a movie, the stirring speech background soundtrack) No problem. Anyone who, you know, sexually molests their kid, I hope someone kills them. I’ve got no problem with that, whether-



Drew: Well, what about Aaron? You want somebody to kill him? And the parents of these kids he abused (I think he means parents who abuse their kids).



Adam: Ah, if someone could have put a bullet in his head before he got to-



Amber: Heyyyyy.



Adam: this six year old. I mean, if you had a six year old that this guy-



Amber: Oh, I would- I would probably be the one to go after him. Totally, if it was my child, yeah.



Adam: Yeah. Yeah. And now he’s got his stuff under control-



Drew: These are very, very complex things. But I will, let’s just say that people who have been sexually abused who are going down a sexually compulsive path are-



Amber: Are gonna continue… without-



Drew: Well, there are treatments. And God willing, you get the treatment before somebody gets hurt. That’s the idea. And most of these treatments are around, 12 step programs, sexual addiction…



Amber: Mhmm.



Drew: There are highly trained professionals out there. It’s a lot of work, takes a lot of time. Aaron should still be in some kind of treatment.



Amber: Oh, I- 100%, yeah.



Drew: But somebody’s gonna get hurt if he doesn’t stay in some kind of treatment.



Amber: Totally.



Drew: Thank God, he’s very much improved, and that’s good, but he’s gotta still-



Amber: But still, he’s involved in pornography, and you know…



Drew: It’s like addiction, it’s a constant- constant problem.



Adam: So should he tell the girlfriend?



Amber and Drew: Yes.



Adam: Oh really?



(Amber laughs at Adam)



Adam: (not too convinced) Ahhh, alright. Really?



Amber: Adam’s like, ‘No! I don’t think so.’



Adam: Well, I don’t know… look, I’m sure she’s assuming there’s something going on with Aaron just from hangin’ with the guy for a little bit. Wouldn’t you say?



Drew: Yeah. I’d say. I hung with him for five minutes and- (shudder-y type noise) I got the feeling…



Amber: Yeah. Mhmm.



Adam: Drew, what do you want to bet that Aaron’s girlfriend may have-



Drew: Has a history.



Adam: May have been the victim of ah-



Drew: (feigning shock) I’d be shocked!



Adam: Yeah.



Amber: You gonna pull out your wallet now?



Drew and Adam: Ah, no.



Adam: Don’t think we need to on this one.



Drew: We’re placing the same bet.



Adam: Alright, we’re gonna take ourselves a break there, ah, Drew. We’ll talk to, ah, Lakeisha? Hello?



Lakeisha: (sounding all ghetto, a little bit like that drag character Martin Lawrence does on his show) What’s up?! Oh my god, I can’t belieeeve I got on.



(Amber cracks up)



Lakeisha: I’ve been on hold so long, I can not even tell you, and I was tellin’ that girl in there, you know, that you guys have far too little black people callin’-



Drew: Now hold on, hold on…



Adam: Damn, bitch!



Drew: Sounds like white people pretending to be black.



Lakeisha: ‘Scuse me?!



Drew: Hold on, hold on.



Adam: Yeah. (sarcastic) That’s black. Yeah, uh… we’ve got Nachilla on line 7 who’s gonna talk to Lakeisha after this.



(break)



Adam: Hey everybody. Loveline. I’m Adam Corrola, this is Dr. Drew. Amber Benson is here tonight.



Amber: (silly voice) Hellllo.



Adam: Who’s this rock band? (referring to background music)



Drew: I’ve never heard this one.



Adam: Pennypuke?



Drew: Pennywise?



Adam: Oh, Pennywise. Oh, Pennypuke, that’s a good name.



Amber: Loren’s all shaking, she’s like…



Adam: That’s a good song from Pennywise. Ah, Alien Ant Farm here tomorrow night.



(gross sound cue reminiscent of Buffy slashing into some kind of demon- a very gooey, gut-filled, sloshy-noise-when-being-killed demon. Bleh. Then pukey type sound effects. Again with the bleh.)



Adam: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, UPN, Tuesday nights everybody.



(Amber giggles her geeky giggle again, subtly teasing Adam about his earlier flub when he mentioned a certain frog type network that shall not be mentioned. CoughcoughFASCISTScoughcough)



Adam: Yeah?



Amber: Yeah. No, you nailed it.



Adam: Yeah, I got it. 8 o’clock.



Drew: UPN.



Amber: You staked it.



(Adorable Amber guffaw. When this girl peals into one of her laughing fits I crinkle up mah nose and giggle like a five year old. Truly infectious, our Amber.)



Adam: Alaya?



Alaya (Caller): Yeah?



Adam: You’re 17?



Alaya: Yeah, hi.



Amber: Hi.



Adam: What’s up?



Alaya: Uh, not much. Um, I’ve just been wondering, ah, recently my boobs have been sore all the time. Like-



Adam: Mhmm.



Amber: Hmmm.



Alaya: Yeah. I don’t know if there’s something I can do, or a pill I can take, or something.



Amber: Pills.



Drew: Do you ever notice the kind of accent that southern California women have when they refer to their own breasts?



Adam: Yeah.



Drew: Say that again. Your what are sore?



(Amber and Alaya start laughin’ up a storm.)



Drew: ‘Cause I find this very curious. (Shure ya do, Drew. Ya know, I think hanging out with Adam all these years has been a really bad influence on Drew.) What- what are sore?



Alaya: (playing up the so-called ‘accent’) My boooobs.



Adam: Booooobs.



Drew: Boooobs. Yeah.



Adam: Your boooooobs are sore? Yeah, and are they big? (Julia commences giving her tape player a really dirty look. A weary sigh is heard from Amber. I’m right there with ya, babe.)



Alaya: Um, I-I, hmm… sorta.



(You can pretty much hear Amber rolling her eyes just here, but she giggles cutely, too.)



Adam: That wasn’t a great endorsement of your boobs.



Alaya: They’re kinda- I dunno…



Drew: It’s b-e-w…



Adam: C-cups are nice.



Drew: Okay, um… are you on the birth control pill?



Alaya: No, I’m not. I’m on the other thing called deproprivera, like, the shot?



Amber: Ohhh.



Drew: And did that- how long have you been on that?



Alaya: Um, since July.



Drew: Have you noticed it getting worse from the shots?



Alaya: Um, yeah, recentl- Yeah, it’s been like the past two months.



Drew: So it’s possibly from the shot. Have you lost your period?



Alaya: Uh, no. It’s been getting worse. It’s been like, for three weeks an’ stuff.



Drew: So you’re bleeding all the time.



Alaya: Well, not all the time. It’s just like, a little bit each day for three weeks. And then it’s like, over.



Drew: Well, usually by- you’ve had your second shot of deproprevera, right?



Alaya: No, this is m- ah, first time using it. So…



Drew: But you’ve had the second shot?



Alaya: No, not yet.



Drew: You had your first in July and you haven’t had your second- let’s see, July, August, September, October- how come you haven’t had your second shot yet?



Alaya: Um, they haven’t called me back to the um, the doctor’s office yet. And they said they’d call me back when it was time.



Drew: Okay, Alaya, this is your responsibility, right?



Alaya: My boobs?



Drew: No, not your boobs.



Adam: Your booooobs.



Drew: Your birth control. You had it in July, right?



Alaya: Yes. Ah-



Drew: July?



Alaya: Yes.



Drew: August, September, October, this is-



Amber: It’s time, yeah.



Drew: It has to be three months, right now.



Alaya: Yeah.



Drew: So you’re due. You need to get that done. And usually by the time you get that-



Alaya: My boobs?



Adam: Pamela Anderson keeps- (something something), you idiot.



Amber: Oh!



Drew: Usually by the time you get the second shot, uh, usually the heavy bleeding settles down. In fact, usually you lose your period.



Alaya: Oh, really?



Drew: And some of the tenderness might settle down with that too with that. Um, you’re not gonna let me talk to her…



Adam: No. I know she’s DUE (he says it ‘dee-oooooh!’) and her BOOBS (‘beee-oooobs’) hurt.



Alaya: My boobs? (At this point I’m wondering if someone in the booth hasn’t just looped her voice and is making it sound like she’s saying it over and over again…)



Adam: Yeah, that’s right. You’re booooobs. Drew, that’s enough. Go back and get that shot.



Drew: There could be other things goin’ on.



Adam: Well, talk to the doctor when you get there.



Drew: She’s talking to me tonight.



Amber: That’s why she called.



Drew: She could have cysts. She could have- sometimes the underwire of bras irritates them and causes-



Amber: Mhmm.



Drew: Alright, and uh-



Adam: Anything else?



Drew: Is she lactating? Anything going on with-



Adam: No, she would have said that.



(Amber laughs softly)



Drew: No breast- no liquid comin’ out’a there, right?



Adam: Is there (obnoxious voice again) mmmmilk comin’ out your boooobs?



Alaya: There’s nothing coming out of them.



Drew: Alright, thank you.



Adam: Yeah, go back there and get that shot and tell the doctor your booooobs hurt, okay?



Alaya: Alright, thanks. (Code for: Adam, you’re such a prick)



Drew: Don’t worry, it’s not anything serious, I guarantee it.



Alaya: Alright, thank you.



Adam: Take care.



Alaya: Alright, bye.



Adam: Bye bye. Drew guaranteed her health.



(Amber chuckles)



Drew: No, I guaranteed her boobs- boooooobs, it won’t be anything serious.



Amber: Her b- (breaks off giggling)



Adam: Jerry?



Jerry (Caller): Yeah?



Adam: You’re 16?



Jerry: That’s right. I’ve been having this problem, like, every time I see a girl I like, I end up getting thoughts like someone killing me.



Adam: Someone killing you?



Jerry: Yeah.



Adam: Hmmm.



Drew: Say that again now?



Amber: Wait, what?



Drew: We’re having trouble tracking you.



Adam: Jerry, you’re a virgin, are you?



Jerry: Yeah.



Drew: You’re 16?



Jerry: Yeah.



Adam: How come- Drew, tell me if I have ever been wrong on the voice?



Drew: Never. Virgin- or, vs. non-virgin. 100%.



Jerry: Nah, I-



Adam: Always know the virgin guys.



Jerry: No one can recognize me. Not even my sister can recognize me on the phone.



(Amber laughs)



Drew: No, he’s not saying he recognizes you, Jerry. I’ve never met you.



(Big geeky Amber giggles, wheee!)



Drew: But he recognized that you were a virgin.



Jerry: Oh yeah.



Drew: Okay. Are you on any medication?



Adam: Hold on a second. I wonder if chicks pick that up in some weird way, too- I mean, they have pretty good instincts that way.



Drew: Pick what up? That- that he’s a virgin.



Adam: Subtly.



Amber: The pocket protector sometimes gives it away, but- (Oh, Amber! Don’t do me like that. You know you love the geekish. Geek solidarity, baby! Geeky girls are the sexiest kind, hands down. And Xita, if I hear ONE word from you about “Downtown,” you’re toast.)



Adam: Where I- where I got sent to school-



Drew: Women- women’s keenest sense is for any kind of desperation. (Heh… what kind of desperation?)



Amber: Mhmm. (You know it, baby.)



Drew: That’s their most keen sense.



Adam: I’m just saying if I’m 100% on my telling if a guy is a virgin from listening to a few words he says over the phone, when he talks to the ladies at school…



Drew: Oh, sure.



Adam: I’m just saying, I wonder if women have…



Drew: Yeah.



Adam: That instinct… Do you know what I’m saying?



Amber: Sometimes. It depends on the situation.



Adam: On some sub-level.



Drew: Being a virgin is not what women clue into for closing guys out.



Adam: No, but they- they clue into his inexperience, kind of a nerdy guy. Jerry?



(Amber chuckles in the background)



Adam: I’m sorry, buddy. So, you think about someone killing you?



Jerry: (sounding more and more paranoid, the poor guy) Yeah, like… maybe one of her guy friends or something, I dunno… I usually get these thoughts, like- last night I couldn’t sleep because it kept bugging me.



Drew: Are you doing any stimulants, any drugs lately?



Jerry: Nah, no drugs.



Drew: Are you on any medication?



Jerry: No medication.



Drew: Do you have any other sorts of like, hearing voices or anything like that?



Jerry: Sometimes.



Drew: What do the voices tell you?



Adam: (whispers into mic) You’re insane!



Jerry: Nah, I just get these weird voices. But I don’t- I don’t know what they say.



Drew: What do the voices say?



Adam: I think- I think he’s bogus.



Jerry: I’m bogus?



Adam: Yeah.



Jerry: Because I usually hear them whispering something, I dunno…



Drew: What do they whisper?



Jerry: I can’t tell, they just whisper different things, I just-



Adam: You’re not getting laid is what they’re whispering.



Drew: Do they say- do they call your name? (beat) The voices?



Jerry: I don’t- They call me a bunch of different names. Some things like I, I can’t really describe. They just tell me I’m gonna end up dying.



Drew: This is- he’s actually describing something pretty accurate.



(Adam makes unconvinced noises in the background)



Drew: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you-



Adam: Oh, yeah. Mister… 20% over here.



Drew: He- are- yeah you’re right, my instincts are not very good. But he is, he is accurate in terms of what he described.



Adam: No, I’m sorta with him. I- so, and so you see a beautiful girl. Let’s just say, hypothetically-



Drew: Ehhh, no no no-



Adam: Just shut up here Drew. You see a beautiful woman.



Drew: This is not about that.



Adam: And you look at her.



Amber: This is about- yeah. Oh that’s-



Adam: Do you immediately think that someone’s gonna kill you?



Jerry: Yeah, like one of her friends. One of her guy friends.



Drew: Do you have any other thoughts?



Amber: It’s paranoia. (Good call.)



Drew: Any other thoughts, people coming to get you?



Jerry: Nnnnot really.



Adam: How would one of her guy friends know that you looked at her.



Jerry: Ah, wh-what happened?



Adam: How would one of her guy friends know that you were looking at her.



Jerry: Well- that’s not actually true, but- I just get these thoughts like they’re gonna kill me.



Drew: Right. See, he’s just having obsessive thoughts.



Amber: He’s worried, he’s… paranoid.



Drew: A couple of other things could be going on here, Jerry. Sometimes obsessive-compulsive disorder can come in like this. People get these intrusive thoughts about being harmed unless they engage in some specific kind of rituals. Sometimes other kinds of thought disorders, psychotic illnesses, come on around- you’re a little young for it to be starting, so-



Amber: But still, I mean-



Drew: But it needs evaluation, and there’s very good medication for this right now. You don’t have to- it’s miserable if life is-



Adam: But Jerry… sounds like he’d be a pretty good candidate for some of the ah, medications.



Drew: Yep.



Adam: Jerry needs to go get evaluated.



Drew: Yep. For sure.



Amber: Mhmm.



Adam: For- the psychiatrist? Or start with the doctor?



Drew: Psychiatrist, so- eh, yeah, it’s always good to get a medical evaluation first to make sure it’s not some organic cause.



Amber: Mhmm.



Adam: Take care of yourself, Jerry, please.



Drew: Medical cause.



Adam: Jack?



Jack (Caller): Yep.



Adam: You’re 24?



Jack: Yeah.



Adam: You ironically have a masturbation question, (emphasizing name) Jack?



(Amber chuckles)



Amber: Ironically.



Jack: Yeah, one of many, I’m sure.



Adam: Interesting.



Jack: Um, I wanted to know what the effects of masturbation are, on the level of testosterone in guys? I also wanted to know um, if like, if guys can take a sex hormone binding globulin like estrogen in order to reduce the thickness of your facial hair and acne.



Drew: Now, wait a minute. You’re confusing several things. Sex hormone binding globulin is a circulating protein, it’s not estrogen. Estrogen is a steroid. Okay?



Jack: Okay.



Drew: And there is a ah, is an anti-estrogen agent called Vanica that helps reduce the light facial hair on the face of women.



Adam: Don’t we have Vanica on line 6?



Drew: (laughs) Yeah.



Adam: No, that’s Lakeisha.



Drew: Now are you talking about… what are you talking about? To take-



Jack: Well, my first question was like-



Drew: No, no- forget the first question. What is it you’re asking about this- the hair?



Jack: I have really, really coarse facial hair. And I usually get ingrown hairs and acne, even at 24. And so I was reading that like, estrogen, whatever it is, binding globulins sort of attach to the testosterone so that it can’t- it doesn’t have the same effect on your facial hair.



(sound cue or dumbhead Adam? “Tasty.”



Jack: And I was wondering if there was something similar in men- males.



Drew: There are things like that out there, but- um, most of the times they’re directed at increasing hair growth. To deal with baldness, which is-



Adam: Hey, Jack?



Drew: As far as decreasing hair growth, I’m not sure if there’s anything like that for men. There is stuff for women.



Adam: Lemme help ya. I’ve got a thick beard, myself. I get the-



Jack: I watch you all the time on The Man Show, Adam.



Adam: Thank you. Thank you, Jack. I get those ingrown hairs myself. You can- where do you get ‘em? On your neck?



Jack. Yeah. Usually I have to dig them out with a pin.



Amber: Mmmm! (disconcerted, sympathizing, i.e. “Owww!”)



Drew: That’s what Adam does. It’s lovely.



Adam: Yeah, you gotta dig ‘em out, with uh, tweezers and a pin. You gotta dig ‘em out because what they do is they- they grow in, and eventually they’ll wrap around your brain. (Okay, that was actually kind of funny. Heh. But Adam still annoys the bejeezus outta me.)



(Jack laughing in the background)



Drew: But what you can do with that usually, is uh- laser.



Adam: Nah.



Drew: But that’s what’s usually done- for that. Laser hair r-



Adam: No-



Drew: That’s-



Adam: La, la, la, la. Done it three times.



Drew: That’s what’s done for that usually.



Adam: Now hold on a second. Would you shut up?



Amber: You’re not into waxing, huh?



Adam: I saw that quack Dr. Marcell that charged me full price for his crappy laser treatment out there, by the way. What a- what a guy! He charges me full price, the son of a bitch. Comes on this show. Dr. Marcell… what’s up with these- with these, uh, plastic surgeons with the pinky rings, and the gold rope chain bracelets, and the porche? Were these guys real doctors?



Amber: Well, they got you to pay full price, though, didn’t they?



(Amber giggling in the background)



Adam: Full price! And by the way, that was nothing but just a painful and humiliating experience. The hair grew back three weeks later, it was a complete waste of time. Yes, you can go and get procedure after procedure after procedure, and maybe it’ll work. Not worth it.



Amber: It takes- it takes like… four, right? I-I know people that have been doing it.



Drew: It could take more…



Adam: It could take a thousand. It’s a big w- let me tell you something, this laser is no magic pill. Everyone made it out to be, ‘Oooh! You get the laser! Take the laser!



(Big silly laugh from Amber)



Adam: ‘The laser will take care of everything!’ The laser doesn’t do squat.



Drew: Let me-



Adam: Ahhhh.



Drew: Okay. Let me finish with Jack.



Adam: Da, da- I’ll tell him what to do, I’m the one with the ingrown hairs.



Drew: I was gonna tell him something about his testosterone levels.



Adam: Ah, tell him about that when I’m done with the hair.



Drew: Alright.



Adam: Forget about the laser.



Drew: You gotta have laser done on your faggoty self. (WTF?!)



Adam: Thank you.



Drew: Oooh!



Adam: You get the laser, you get to lie there and smell your own hair burning. And then later you smell money burning, when you throw it at the quack who performed the laser surgery on you.



(Amber giggling)



Adam: Okay, so forget about that. You get yourself one of those triple blade razors. I don’t know why, it just works. Alright?



Jack: Okay.



Adam: And start shaving in the direction of the, uh- don’t shave against the hair, you gotta go the direction it grows, right?



Jack: I always go against the-



Adam: Yeah.



Drew: Don’t, don’t go uh-



Amber: Don’t go against.



Adam: Don’t- what’d he just say?



(Amber laughage)



Drew: He said he always goes against.



Adam: Alright. Don’t go against. Only go in the direction it grows, alright?



Jack: Okay.



Adam: Alright. And use gel. That uh, Edge gel stuff.



Jack: Yeah, I do.



Adam: It works good. And then soon as you’re done, take a bunch of Oxy-10 and just slap it on there.



Drew: Also, what about the stuff the black guys use to remove the hair?



Adam: Aaah, I dunno. Use the Oxy-10. You understand?



Drew: Alright, and Jack, in terms of masturbation-



Adam: He’s never gonna do this.



Drew: If you masturbate too little… (Amber is starting to giggle again) your tesosterone levels will actually drop. There’s sort of an optimum range, and then you get the Corolla syndrome, and-



Adam: For me it’s four times a day.



Drew: Corolla, ah- plateau. Ah, then you fall off the other side and start actually decreasing your testosterone levels with excessive masturbation.



Adam: Okay.



Amber: Just overdone it.



Adam: Alright. We’re gonna take ourselves a little break here. You don’t want to talk to Lakeisha? Lakeisha? (silence) Uh oh. Lakeisha has fallen asleep. Lakeisha McEvil?



Amber: (awww, this is so cute… she sounds all tentative and sweet and little girlish) Hello?



Lakeisha: Excuse me, I’m here. Sorry about that, y’all be keepin’ me on hold for a long time, you know, I just thought maybe you wasn’t gonna come back or whatever but I just wanted to, you know, say a couple quick things. I ain’t gonna, you know, eat up yo’ time, you know what I’m sayin’?



Adam: Alright. Go right ahead.



Lakeisha: Well, first of all, Amber, you are, you know, you just are amazing, and I-



Amber: Awww, thank you.



Lakeisha: Ah, just a quick question for you about maybe the crew of Buffy. I was wondering if maybe there was any particular cast member, you know, that you click with?



Amber: Um, gosh. I-I work with really cool people…



Adam: She said she hated ‘em all.



Amber: But- I, I…



Adam: During the commercial.



Amber: Yeah! Oh, I hate ‘em all, no- I really love Michelle Trachtenburg. She is just like, my- my little sister.



Lakeisha: Yeah, that’s cool. That’s really cool. You know, I love Buffy and you know, I was reading an article the other day about how they were saying that, you know, that uh, Buffy is like, six years old, or whatever, and it’s still producing really good product. And that’s just really rare, you know, for like a teen show, you know what I’m sayin’? Y’all still be having good scripts, whatever. You know what I’m saying?



Amber: Mhmm. We’re really lucky, we have great writers. And uh-



Lakeisha: That’s awesome, that’s really awesome, and then I had a quick question for Adam, uh-



Adam: (still as amused with Lakeisha as ever) Yeah.



Lakeisha: Adam, some sexual techniques that I would-



Adam: (being kind of an ass) Yeah. Sure, yeah go ahead-



Lakeisha: Excuse me?



Adam: Go ahead, I wanna-



Lakeisha: Some sexual techniques that I was unfamiliar with.



Adam: Uh huh.



Lakeisha: And I was wondering if you could help me out with ‘em, ‘cause there was two of ‘em, and my friends and I was discussin’ this and we could not, you know what I’m sayin’, we couldn’t figure out. So-



(Sound cue: “Beeeeatttcccchhhhhhh!”)



Lakeisha: One of ‘em is a ‘filthy Sanchez.’



Adam: Riiiiight.



Amber: A what?



Lakeisha: What is that?



Drew: Well, we’ll talk about it when we get back from the break. What was the other?



Lakeisha: Hold on, Dr. Drew, I’m sorry, but it’s always you ruinin’ all the fun. You know-



Drew: That’s my job!



(Amber cackleage)



Drew: That is my job.



Lakeisha: You’re always killin’ the fun.



Drew: That is my job.



Lakeisha: A filthy Sanchez, okay-



Drew: We’ve got different jobs here, that’s mine.



Lakeisha: The other one is a ‘hot Carl.’ You know?



Drew and Adam: A hot Carl.



Drew: Alright. Alright.



Lakeisha: Yeah.



Drew: Hold on, we’ll talk about it.



Adam: Alright, when we come back…



(break)



Adam: Alrighty, a little more Loveline to go. Amber Benson is our guest tonight.



Amber: Yep sirree Bob.



Adam: Buffy the Vapmire Slayer, UPN, Tuesday night, 8 o’clock.



Amber: Does that annoy you? Having to say that over and over and over again?



Adam and Drew: Nope.



Adam: It’s my pleasure.



Amber: Hee! Thank you.



Adam: Sure. Alright, let’s uh- burn through some calls.



Drew: We were just answering the questions from um-



Adam: Oh, that’s right. Dirty Sanchez. How’d that dirty Sanchez go, Drew?



Drew: I don’t remember.



Adam: Somethin’ about uh-



Drew: A stool and mustaches.



Adam: The stool and the mustache… and uh, maybe that’s where the sand g-



Amber: Awww.



Adam: I always called it a dirty Sanchez, never called it a filthy Sanchez.



Drew: And hot Carl we don’t know.



Adam: Hot Carl… not aware of that one.



Drew: Okay.



Adam: So we’re really of uh, little help. Ah…



(Amber giggles)



Adam: Let’s burn through some calls here. Kate? 25? (beat) You-



Kate: Hi.



Adam: You wanna know if you should see your psychologist even though you freaked out last time?



Kate: No, she freaked out.



Adam: Oh, what’d she do?



Drew: What’d-



Kate: Um, well, I was trying to- I’ve only like, seen her like, four times. I was trying to um, like, reschedule an appointment and she said- I guess her receptionist said that there was no way, that they would have to bill me anyway, and this was… kind of an emergency, so it was something I really needed to cancel for. I went in anyway and she just… said, you know, I said, ‘Well, I completely understand, I mean, your time is your money.’ And I went ahead and went in, and she started going down her list of people that had tried to cancel that day and just freakin’ out, and she was into ah- ‘You know, you guys complain about your kids, I don’t have kids. You complain about your husbands, I don’t even have a husband.’



Adam: Alright.



Amber: She needs a therapist!



Adam: Go- go somewhere else.



Amber: Yeah.



Adam: Find a new one. That’s alright. And don’t go to a chick psychologist.



Kate: You would love her, though- she had a great boob job.



Amber: Heyyyy.



Adam: No, you-



Drew: She had a great boob job? Oh boy.



Adam: Chick psycholo- let me tell you something. Chick psychologists are a little nutty. Male psychologists are nutty, too, but- chick psychologists are nutty-



Amber: They’re allllll nutsy.



Drew: I think the women, when they’re doing it right, do that job better than anybody.



Adam: Right.



Drew: Because…



Adam: They never do it right.



Amber: It requires that maternal, like…



Drew: Requires that attunement that women have the capacity for that-



Amber: Yeah, yeah- that sensitivity.



Drew: It’s… attunement, that they can really see where you are emotionally, and men-



Amber: Mhmm.



Drew: We don’t do that so well. We can, but we don’t do it as well as women.



Adam: (Ever the nay-sayer) Ahhhh.



Kate: So, find somebody else?



Drew: Yes.



Amber: Yeah.



Adam: Sure.



Kate: Out here where I live it’s really hard-



Drew: Where you live?



Kate: Ah, Hawaii.



Drew: Where?



Adam: Speak to the volcano god.



Drew: Wait, no, you live in Hawaii, there’s gotta be tons of therapists out there.



Amber: Yeah.



Adam: Really?



Drew: Are you kidding? People love to live out there. ‘No, no! I can’t live in Hawaii if I want to become a therapist, oh, no, that’s ah-‘



Adam: Those islanders don’t go to see shrinks. They just pray to ah, false idols.



Drew: They need shrinks out there.



Amber: (Bless her) Pele, the volcano goddess. (Girl after my own heart, sniff sniff. Yes, let’s all go listen to Tori now together!)



Adam: Well, they need ‘em, but they’re so busy uh, eating spam and uh- doing that flame dance, that they-



Amber: What?!



Adam: They love spam over there.



Drew: Fried spam.



Adam: It’s kinda how you know where the culture is, by the way-



Amber: It’s fried Snickers bars in Scotland.



Drew and Adam: (all interested) What?



Amber: They bread and like, deep fry Snickers bars.



Drew: What?!



Amber: Yep.



Adam: That I could kinda get into.



(Amber laughage)



Drew: Very interesting.



Amber: They deep fry everything.



Adam: Alright, find a new one. You don’t need a uh, shrink that’s nuttier than you are. Travis?



Travis (Caller): Yeah.



Adam: You’re 17. You ah, you orgasm in massive amounts?



Travis: Yeah, I just had sex like, four days ago. (Four days, seven hours, and thirty two minutes ago?)



Adam: Mhmm.



Travis: And like, I come like… massive amounts and it hurts really bad, it’s like… I just wanted to know what’s wrong.



Drew: Where does it hurt?



Travis: Just like, when it comes out, like, the whole penis.



Drew: It burns?



Travis: Yeah.



Adam: Oh, yeah. That’s pretty bad if it’s like-



Amber: Sounds like…



Drew: Does it hurt when you pee?



Travis: No.



Drew: Just…semen burns. Now, what does massive amounts mean?



(Yet another classy sound cue, lots of liquid splashing)



Travis: It’s like a lot, like, more than normal.



Drew: For you, more than normal?



Travis: Yeah.



Drew: So, all of a sudden there’s a lot more.



Travis. Yeah.



Adam: No, he doesn’t mean that. He doesn’t mean all of the sudden three’s a lot more. He means more- he just means a lot more than the average guy. Right?



Drew: How does he know what the average guy puts out?



Adam: Ah, I mean, I know.



(Amber laughs)



Drew: Yeah, but does HE know. I know YOU know.



Adam: Travis? Did more start coming out of you recently, or was it always that way?



Travis: Recently.



Adam: Oooh.



Drew: See?



Adam: So, you upped your-



Amber: (gives us a lil preview to next week’s musical episode and sings a little bit, ominously) Da da da dum…



Adam: production.



Travis: Yeah, I… yeah.



Amber: Sounds like he’s got, like- he’s come across something.



Drew: No, I don’t know what this is. I don’t know.



Amber: Could it be-



Drew: But if it hurts, it needs to be looked into…



Amber: Yeah.



Adam: Well, focus on the pain part, and… maybe it’s a sexually transmitted disease. Although if it hurt when he urinated, it probably…



Drew: Yeah. It’s possible. Then I also wonder if he’s talking about discharge instead of semen- you never know with these guys… our callers.



(Heeheehee! Amber snorted this cute laughy little snort. That was way too cute. I like her way too much.)



Adam: Well, the first- my first shot is always pus…



Drew: Yeah, me too.



Adam: And then second one is semen, the actual semen.



Drew: No, I mean my first guess with these guys. (Well, that’s a relief.)



(Amber is crackin’ up now)



Drew: Not that I actually put out-



Adam: Now, when I’m with the ladies, at first is pus, then semen, then urine.



Amber: And then blood.



Drew: And then you’re sold.



Adam: And then sawdust comes out. Then kitty litter. And then my soul.



Drew: How ‘bout the ‘POW’ flag?



Adam: Oh, then that flag, yeah. From Laugh In. It just says ‘BANG’ on it. Actually, it says ‘semen.’ Alright, we’ll take a little break. We’ll be right back.



(break)



Adam: Well, there it is. Where did the time go, everybody? I want to thank Amber Benson for coming in here tonight, and uh… pimpin’ the… Buffy the Vampire Slayer.



Amber: Thank you guys for having me. (Julia snorts. Yeah! They wish. But don’t we all.)



Adam: Always good to see you.



Amber: You guys are fun.



Adam: Yeah, you’re a fun guest and we’re glad to have you. Come back anytime.



Amber: Thank you. Very much.



Adam: Bring your mom.



(uncomfortable silence)



Amber: Thaaaanks.



Adam: Okay.



(They both laugh)



Adam: Alien Ant Farm tomorrow night, everybody, and this is Adam Corrola for Dr. Drew saying ‘mahala.’



(Sound cue: The Ozzy clip again, with him stuttering, then a clip of Drew from earlier in the evening looped as he too stutters. Think Dr. Drew doing an impression of Elmer Fudd: “The uh-buh-duh-uh, buh-duh-uh abstinence message…”)



Time for Julia to go through Amber withdrawal now, but at least it’s Tuesday night and there is brand new Willow-Tara goodness on the way. That’s all folks!

Edited by: DrG at: 3/22/03 5:50:01 am

[urnofosiris]

Originally posted and transcribed by JBC



I hope its okay to post this here, but here’s a partial transcript of the Amber parts on Loveline. It’s not complete by any means -- I didn’t include everything, like the one or two lines Amber was actually able to get in during calls; plus, the show got cut off after an hour apparently because of technical difficulties.

WARNING: It’s a tad spoilery in one part near the beginning, so I placed it in the Spoiler Thread. (Sorry I didn't do this earlier!!!)



I’ve gotta say, if you can download this or hear it on the radio, I suggest you do so because a transcript can’t fully convey the wonder that is Amber Benson with her throaty, sexy voice and infectious laughter (*sighs and swoons*). Enjoy!



Adam: Amber Benson is our guest tonight. Amber is from BtVS, UPN, 8 o’clock on Tuesday nights. Amber was in here not too long ago



Amber Benson: I can’t get enough, can I?



Drew: 3 months ago? 4 months ago?



AB: Yeah, I think so. I got my license in the interim so … that’s good.



D: She came without her mother this time.



AB: (laughs) She trusts you guys. You guys passed the test.



A: Yeah, Amber was carted around by her mom ‘cause she didn’t have her license. You don’t have an eating disorder now, do you?



AB: No (laughing)



A: Oh, you’re heading for one…



D: No wait a minute. I remember vividly this line of questioning going down.



AB: We went through the whole thing!



D: I was sitting just behind her here and you (Adam) went completely down this path.



A: You know I’ve learned from doing this show that I don’t think a lot of different thoughts. You know, certain things trigger certain thoughts. I hear your momma is driving you in a minivan, and how old are you?



AB: 25 (sheepishly)



A: 25? Momma’s carting you around like a retarded kid in a minivan (Amber laughs), I think bulimia and I will think that if I talk to you tomorrow. I’m gonna bring it up.



AB: Dude, I’m sorry. I could not, I cannot, I can’t … people throwing up … No. No.



A: Not for you?



AB: No ipecac (sp?) for me, thank you very much … No Karen Carpenter [??]. I like my heart, it’s good.



A: You look good.



AB: Thank you. I try.



A: No, but you’re really trying harder now ‘cause something’s going on. Drew, do you know what I’m saying?



D: Well, hair’s down. You wore black last time.



AB: Okay, can I be completely honest?



A: Yeah, go ahead. What’s going on?



AB: I had some friends over, and my Mom, and Lauren who works for you guys said that there was gonna be a camera crew and they made me wear nice clothes (laughs out loud). I tried, I tried to wear my nice baggy clothes and my hair up, and they all made me dress nice.



A: That’s what it is. You really, you really threw it together for the show. You rarely see this. Hey Lauren, tell everyone there’s a camera crew coming in here so people can doll themselves up ‘cause people are train wrecks on this show. (Amber laughs hysterically in the background.)



D: Look at this guy. Look at Adam.



A: Well, when you live on TV like I do, it’s no big deal. But you know, you’re only in here once a week. Anyway, alright. So what’s going on with Buffy? What are you guys in season 4? 5?



AB: 6.



A: 6? Jesus.



****please see spoiler thread for the deleted section of the transcript ****



They start taking phone calls now. Just like to point out that Amber is very considerate and caring when talking to callers. J



The third caller asks Amber about Buffy:



Male Caller: Love BtVS. You guys are just great actors.



AB: Oh thank you. (meekly)



C: Not to kiss your ass any bit more. Basically all of the women on that show are just out of the world hot.



AB: (laughs out loud) Well, we try. You know, they do put us through the works. We get makeup and hair and really expensive clothing so…



A: Yeah. She cleans up nice.



AB. We should look decent. I’m just kidding. (laughing)



Caller asks Amber if the cast hangs out off the set:



AB: Um, actually a lot of us do hang out. The guy that created the show is really into Shakespeare and so sometimes on the weekends we’ll have like Shakespeare readings…



A: Ugh!



AB: Hey! Be quiet! Be quiet!



D: That actually sounds good to me.



A: Boring!



AB: But I got to play Lady Macbeth opposite James Marsters so it was very fun. I’m sure there a lot of girls who are very envious of that (laughing). But yeah, and Sarah’s awesome. I really like her a lot. We get on and she’s very bright. She’s actually driven me home from work a couple of times before I got my license. She took pity on me.



D: They’re lesbians.



A: No, she just plays one on TV.



AB: I wish I was. I wish I was a lesbian.



A: Oh. I wish I was gay.



D: You guys would make quite a couple.



A: We should hook up.



AB: I tell you, I get the most amazing letters. I have places to stay all over the United States and Europe (laughs, obviously flattered). If only I liked girls, my life would become just awesome.



Caller says he met Alyson and Alexis last Christmas. Amber says: “Yeah, they’re a couple actually.” Then Adam and Drew cut the poor guy off as he’s telling the story, but at least Amber’s nice enough to say “Thank you.” Hope the guy heard her though…



Then Adam starts talking about “slosers” (spaz + loser) and Amber defends the caller: “Oh no! He was nice. He complimented me in a really nice way!” (She’s such a sweetie)



Later, Adam asks Amber when she wants to be picked up on her honeymoon:



AB: From my honeymoon? I’m never getting married. Never, never, never.



A: Oh baby. Listen. You want to be a lesbian, right?



AB: No.



A: Oh really? I thought you were serious about that?



AB: No, no. I mean it would be great ‘cause I get wonderful letters…



A: But it would be nice?



AB: It would be nice because I could get laid every night for the rest of my life! (laughs)



They start to discuss the “trend” of lesbians not having sex as frequently after six months. (I disagree.)



AB: But you know what? It doesn’t seem surprising because women are so maternal and it’s really about the relationship and feeling secure in that relationship as opposed to the…



D: There’s no penis.



AB: Yeah.



A: But wouldn’t you say that a certain percentage of women might stop having sex in a heterosexual relationship if it was up to them?



D: Oh yes. Absolutely.



AB: Do you think it’s like a conditioned thing, though? Like the way women are raised?



D: No. Because you can try to force a guy to do that, and he won’t … (etc. etc. blah blah)



This goes on, and then:



AB: I’m more of like a cyclical person. One minute it’s like great and wonderful, and the next minute you’re kind of yeeeeh, then back to great and wonderful. And I feel like a dog in heat or something, you know? The way you … ok, I’m gonna shut up now.



A: Where are you tonight?



AB: Shut up. (laughing) Oh my head! I’m never dressing nicely again.



A: You want a pillow to hump?



AB: No. I have my bottle, thank you very much.



A: Oh wow. (Amber laughs) You never wanna get married? Really? You don’t want to get married?



AB: No.



A: Jeez, we gotta hook up. Drew, wouldn’t we make a great couple?



D: She wants to be a lesbian and never get married? It’s your perfect woman. (Amber is giggling in the background.)



A: I could work on you. You know, get you into chicks. You can work on me, get me into guys.



D: He’s handy around the house.



A: You’ll have no more trouble with contractors.



AB: I’m handy around the house. I don’t need a man for that.



A: I build houses.



AB: I built a fence.



A: Ok, listen. Are you gonna try to one up me with the building? (Amber laughs) Still, I’ll be the only gay who can handle a tool. Believe you me.



AB: Well, I doubt that seriously.



A: I would be king of all the gays. I would be the gay carpenter. I would be the only with skills. They would all go insane. King of the gays they would call me.



AB: I always go for the guys that are, you know, leaning in that direction.



D: Interesting, we’ll talk about that later. (They never do though…)



The last caller is a guy who called the last time Amber was on the show:



Caller: Hi Amber.



AB: Oh, oh, oh! Oh my gosh, it’s the guy with the stuffed animals! He called last time!



C: By the way, I’m not a plushy.



AB: I’m glad to hear that.



A: But he is a stalker.



C: No.



A: Oh that’s right. We were trying to set you guys up on a date. But your mom wouldn’t let you use the car or how does that go?



AB: Stop it! Leave my mom and my car alone. I gotta driver’s license now so I’m not looking for a chauffeur.



Yadda, yadda, yadda. Then:



A: Did you want to go out on a date with Amber?



C: No, not any more.



AB & A: Not any more?



C: I’ve given up on that dream.



AB: Awww. You wouldn’t want me anyway. I’m all screwed up. These guys will tell you.



A: Yeah, she’s a mess.



C: Are you still dating that guy?



AB: Um, not that one. Someone else.



A: Oh yeah? You’re dating someone?



AB: Sort of. Yeah. (Amber obviously doesn’t want to talk about this…)



C: Well, you’re wasting all your time with all these other guys when you have me. How was Sundance?



AB: How was…? Oh my gosh. (flattered giggling) You keep abreast of what’s going on with me, don’t you? It was fun. It was interesting. I had a film up there, so I went for that and it was good.



And that’s all she wrote, folks! (Well, those were the main parts at least…)





Other interesting tidbits:



1. Amber thinks grits are great. (“I’m from Alabama so…”)



2. Adam starts telling a story about “living the black life” [whatever that is supposed to mean] by eating grits and collard greens, and Amber replies “That’s a southern life sweetheart” in a cute southern belle accent.



3. When she was younger, Amber used to dance and lip-synch to Tiffany, Debbie Gibson and Les Miserables (CUTE!!).



4. Amber is against doing Acid because her mom said you could end up in a looney bin for the rest of your life. She also can’t believe how people can still take ecstasy if they know about its harmful effects/consequences. She also thinks people who use horse tranquilizers to get high are weird.



5. Amber thinks its strange parents would let their children watch BtVS and see vampires being eviscerated every night.



6. On the topic of finding women attractive/beautiful, Amber, to a caller, says: “I know what you mean. You look at women and they’re aesthetically pleasing to the eye, but they’re not…” Amber gets a bit upset when Adam starts going on about how he doesn’t believe women who think other women are hot aren’t gay. Amber says, “That’s where you lose me” and stops herself from saying something bad in reply. (Apparently, she actually covers her mouth with both hands. – “I’m from Alabama you know. Proper, prim girls.”)



7. When Adam starts acting in a judgmental way toward one male caller who watches transsexual pornography, Amber says, “To each their own, you know, as long as they’re not hurting anyone else with what they’re doing.”



Last Note:

It’s obvious when Amber doesn’t agree with Adam or Drew because she gets really quiet. But if she feels strongly about something, she’ll actually tell them flat out that she disagrees. Then, Adam will go out of his way to make some lame jokes to obviously soothe things over with Amber. Go Amber!

[tyche]

I was looking though some old issues of Movieline magazine and I came across this little quote (it's so short you can't really call it an interview) from Amber. It was in the Dec/Jan 2001 issue and the topic was 'Ten actors name the character they've played that they're most like'. Here's Amber's answer:

Quote:

---

Amber Benson (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

I'm most like Meg, the daughter of Randy Quaid's character in Bye, Bye, Love. She's very pragmatic, very motherly, always taking care of the people around her.

---

[DarkRed]

This is sooo Cool!! Thank you so much DrG. i've only had the chance to read the first few (the phone one with Jo Jo is the funniest for now, got me Lmao) i had no Id there were so many interviews with my favourite lady out there..



thanks again.

much love and kisses.

anne.



~~~~~~

If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.

[kajo 2000]

I just found this old Amber interview posted at Buffy Fan Forum:

Quote:

---

Horrorline.com



AMBER BENSON Interview

March 16, 2001

by Ian Spelling



Tara arrived on the BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER scene and just never left.



"I wasn't aware of the fact that it would go on so long," admits Amber Benson, who plays Amber, a student at UC-Sunnydale who was introduced in the fourth-season episode "Hush" and happens to be, in no particular order, a witch, a stutterer, a lesbian and shy as hell. "I thought that I'd do a few episodes or maybe even just one. I wasn't sure. And then it just kind of snowballed, which was fantastic. I'm really lucky that I get to work so much on a show that's so well written and so well put together. After the first couple of episodes, (series creator/writer/executive producer) Joss Whedon talked to me about staying around for a while. And that's when he also started talking to me about the whole lesbian aspect. I had no idea coming into it that Tara was going to be gay. So all of a sudden it was, `You're going to be sticking around and you're going to be Willow's (Alyson Hannigan) girlfriend.'"



Tara's sexuality caught a lot of people off-guard. Willow's turn from straight to gay in Oz's (Seth Green) absence caught a lot of people off-guard. And, make no mistake, that the Tara-Willow relationship evolved beyond a tease, beyond experimentation and into a serious relationship knocked many a fan for a loop. These days, though, people seem as accepting of Tara and Willow as they are of the show's assorted demons and vampires. "The reaction has been pretty positive," says Benson, a Birmingham, Alabama, native whose credits include the films BYE, BYE LOVE (with Eliza Dushku and Lindsay Crouse), IMAGINARY CRIMES, THE CRUSH, Stephen Soderbergh's KING OF THE HILL, CAN'T HARDLY WAIT (her scenes with Seth Green were cut), as well as guest spots on such TV shows as PROMISED LAND and PARTNERS. "I really like the fact that she's a lesbian. I've never played a character that's had this much of an effect on the world. One of the reasons I've enjoyed working on BUFFY so much is that Alyson and I get to do so much interesting work together. We're really building a relationship and it's been done in a positive, beautiful way. Alyson is great and we're both really pleased to be doing it."



As open and talkative as Benson is about Tara and the character's sexual orientation, she's entirely in the closet when it comes to scoop about upcoming episodes. "I can't tell you," she demurs politely. Prodded… OK, begged… Benson offers only the following. "Joyce (Kristine Sutherland) is no longer with us," says the actress, who's due next in the fall big screen release THE PRIME GIG with Vince Vaughn, Ed Harris and Julia Ormond, and who's also involved in "WannaBlessedBe" and "Tales of the Slayers," two upcoming BUFFY comic book projects for Dark Horse, not to mention CHANCE, a film that she will direct (as well as star in, write and produce) and which will co-star several familiar BUFFY and ANGEL names, among them Andy Hallett and Jeff Ricketts. "All I can tell you is that we're all going to be dealing with Glory (Clare Kramer) really soon, in episode 20. And Tara really gets a run-in with her. I can't say more than that, except that it's going to be insane. The fans are going to love it. It'll be fantastic."



And what doesn't Benson know yet about Tara, her Wiccan alter ego, that she's eager to explore?



"I want to know about her family," she shoots back in an instant. "We got to see a few of them (in the episode "Family," of course), but I want to know what's up with her mom. Joss and Marti (Noxon) and David (Greenwalt) are so tight-lipped. It's like Fort Knox over there. They don't tell you anything. So even if they were thinking about having Tara's whole family on the show, they wouldn't tell me."



That's OK, though. Benson trusts her bosses. Plus, she's having way too good a time to dare complain. "I get to work with all these great people and play a character that's a role model for a lot of people," Benson says, bringing the conversation to a close. "I get to yell at monsters in Latin. We get to cast all these funky spells. The special effects and the creatures are really cool. BUFFY has got to be one of the coolest shows on TV in that aspect. On your usual TV show you don't get to do all of the funky things we get to do."

---

Here is another interview that I hadn't seen before - this time with nyccomicbookmuseum.org:

Quote:

---

Women in Comics: Amber Benson



Amberdextrous

by Darren Metzger



I was also able to catch up with newcomer to the field Amber Benson (Tara on Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and discuss her work on Wannablessedbe. Amber has agreed to donate her original scripts for Tales of the Slayer, a new title coming from Dark Horse Comics, for our upcoming exhibit.



You may recognize her as Tara from the hit TV series Buffy The Vampire Slayer, but Amber Benson is more than just a demon demolishing dervish. When not vanquishing the undead, Amber can be found at the bewitching hour writing the screenplay for her new film, Chance, which she has directed, produced and starred in (talk about ambitious!). Amber has also found time over the past year to collaborate on two Buffy comic book projects for Dark Horse Comics, Wannablessedbe and Tales of the Slayer, which have been met with praise from comic enthusiasts and Buffy fans alike. So what's next in store for our intrepid 25-year old heroine?



Read on as we catch up with this insomniac via e-mail for this interview...



How do you approach writing for comics? Is it any different from how you approach writing a film screenplay e.g. Chance?



I think the two mediums are totally interconnected. They are both very visual mediums and therefore, you have to have the mindset of an artist AND a writer. When I sit down to write a screenplay, I think about details. When I write a comic, I don't have that luxury. With comic books, you really have to distill the story down to its' very guts. There is just no room for superfluous stuff. It's harder than screenwriting, for me at least, because I fall in love with a lot of what I write and don't want to throw anything away.



Was it difficult as a comic newbie coming on board with such well known comic professionals as Christopher Golden and Terry Moore?



I was very lucky to work with two incredibly talented (and amazingly nice, as well) guys who were 100% behind me and the project. I worked with Chris on a one on one basis, so I got to know him a lot better. The man is amazing. He has an imagination that knows no bounds. I am totally in awe of him. As for Terry, well, boy can that man draw! Did you see Wannablessedbe? I was soooo impressed with his ability to capture the realness of each character and then take that realness up about ten notches and make the characters even cooler looking. Plus, he draws women the right way - with real bodies that don't make you feel like a freak when you look at them. Believe me, some of the physically impossible looking women in comics can really make you feel inferior.



How different is the experience writing for a lesbian character than it is playing one on TV?



It's like comparing apples with oranges. Acting and writing is so completely different. But I've loved playing Tara and writing for her. I'm just really glad that there are so many amazing lesbian role models in the comic world. It's great to see. Just look at STRANGERS IN PARADISE.



With your time committed to acting for television and film,

when do you find time to write?



Never. I just pay someone else to do it for me. NOT! Actually, I write late at night when I should be sleeping. Bad for the Krebs cycle, but good for the not to be stymied creative creature that lurks under my skin.



With the success of Tales of The Slayer and WannaBlessedBe under your comic writing belt, are there plans to do any future comic related projects (Buffy inspired or otherwise)?



Chris and I are gonna be doing a couple more Tara/Willow comics. Chris and I are also hoping to put together a non-Buffy related comic idea that we've been tinkering with for a while. Should be cool, too.



If you could create your own fantasy team of comic professionals to work with, who would they be and to which comic book would you want to give your own personal interpretation?



Would love to work with Joss again. Had fun debating the ending of my Tales of The Slayer story with him over the summer. (He always seems to be right, too. That bad boy, genius!) He's such a hands on creative touchstone for all the writers that work in his realm. He's always ready to listen and offer good advice. I also love Alan Moore. His stuff is amazing. I am a big League of Gentlemen and Promethea fan.



On the interpretation front - wouldn't want to try my hand at anyone else's stuff. Am enjoying just being a neophyte comic aficionado right now.



Extra! Wilow and Tara II on the way!



For more on Amber visit her official site (which has some pretty cool Flash bells and whistles) or if you're looking for a more detailed analysis of her life and work to date, check out The Essence of Amber, a dedicated fan site.



Bibliography



Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Willow and Tara - WannaBlessedBe (Writer)

Popular horror writer and Buffy novelist Christopher Golden penned this first Tara and Willow tale together with Amber. The story delves into the "special" relationship brewing between Tara and Willow, but before things can get too hot and steamy, all hell breaks loose - literally. Also check this book out for the wonderful artwork by Terry Moore (Strangers in Paradise).



Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Tales of the Slayer (Writer)

The TV series has hinted at it, but never fully revealed the identities of any of the slayers pre-Buffy. Well, this comic has it all! A 95-page original graphic novel that collects some of the best Slayer stories that have never been told. Catch some of the comic industries best writers and artists (incl. Buffy's own creator, Joss Whedon) as they tell the whole uncensored tale.

---

---------

"I want to be Byron... because I want to date young boys." Amber Benson

Edited by: kajo 2000 at: 7/27/03 8:04 am

[xita]

You know I don't think I had read those, thanks! Cute to see her talking about ghosts of albion, knowing how well it's done.

- - - - - - - - - - -
"The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last."

-Willie Wonka

[J uk]

Just digging around for something else, and I saw this interview from Independant Reviews Site that I'm sure I haven't seen before because I would have saved and worshipped that bottom right picture.

---

(Future) FILM FEATURE



TAKING A CHANCE

Victor D. Infante interviews Amber Benson



Before all the hullabaloo began about BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER moving to UPN, and the subsequent furor over the titular character's apparent demise (yeah, right) the Internet was alight with discussion over Amber Benson's new independent film, CHANCE. More to the point, fans were abuzz about the fact that she was funding it out of pocket, with a little help from her fans. Little Willow, who runs the Amber Benson fan site THE ESSENCE OF AMBER soon after began promoting the movie before it was even filmed which fed fan interest even further. Shortly after the film finished shooting, Ms. Benson spared a few minutes to talk to the Independent Review Site about it.



Victor Infante: I guess it's best to get the Buffy stuff out of the way. Is it true you're going to be a series regular on the show next season, with your name in the credits and everything? How do you feel about that?



Amber Benson: At this point, I'm still a recurring character in the Buffyverse, but someday I hope to ascend to the opening credits stratosphere. I just hope they'd use the kiss from the body in my opening stuff. Hehe.



VI: Tell me a little bit about CHANCE. What possessed you to write, direct, produce and star in your own independent movie?



AB: I am completely and utterly insane. That's all I can come up with. Or at least I was when I decided to do all this. Yipes, I didn't realize how much work was involved. I just have had this amazing love affair with the cinema since I was a little kid. I remember sitting in the air-conditioned darkness watching THE MAN WITH ONE RED SHOE The or ET or just anything I could get into the theater for. Movies always have and will hopefully always continue to rock my world. And the story for Chance really comes from my own sense of trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do in this life. It's sort of a twenty-something girlie coming of age.



VI: Where did the fundraising idea come from? Has it gotten much support?



AB: My mother and my good friends Jen and Beth actually came up with the idea. And thank God they did 'cause we wouldn't have been able to do this thing without the love and support of the Internet community. I feel so blessed to be surrounded by such warm feeling from the Buffy fanbase. They're SO amazing.



VI: Does it ever feel like you've taken on a bit too much?



AB: You know what? These last few weeks have been some of the happiest of my whole life. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Even though the agony is tough, man, it's all about the ecstasy of a dream fulfilled.



VI: What's been the best part of taking on this project? How about the worst? Have you learned anything in the process?



AB: I've learned that you HAVE to trust your gut. It will always steer you to safe waters. The best part of the whole shoot was being surrounded by a huge group of people I love dearly who's one goal was to make sure that I got out of this whole thing intact. I am so lucky to have such good friends. The worst part was lack of sleep.



VI: The movie features, in addition to yourself, Andy Hallet and James Marsters. Have you gotten much support from the Buffy cast and crew? Is there anyone else involved?



AB: I work with a bunch of amazing people at Buffy. They have been super supportive of me doing this from the get go. Anything they could do to help, all I had to do was ask. It was amazing. And I owe them all a debt of gratitude. And working with James and Andy was amazing. They are both such phenomenal actors. Everyone on set was teasing me that I wrote the script so that I could be surrounded by hotties all day long.



VI: Who are some of the non-Buffy actors that are involved?



AB: Christine Estabrook is on THE NICKI SHOW. She plays my mother in the movie. She is an exquisite human being and actor. So is Tressa Difiglia. She played my lesbian love interest. She rocked. And David Fury, one of the producer/writers on Buffy acted for me. My friends Patrick Beller and Ray Woods and Cathy Doe and Lara Rhodes and Jeff Ricketts and Shamus Murphy and Rupert Cole and Nate Barlow and Jamie Linn all came in and just kicked ass. I was surrounded by love and talent each and every day.

amber cast photo



VI: On a side note, can you tell me a little bit about the comic book you did with Christopher Golden, WILLOW AND TARA: BLESSED WANNABES, on Dark Horse Comics. Is that something you'd like to do more of?



AB: I loved working with Chris. We had a blast doing the comic book. It's like making a little movie, but on paper. I'm doing another piece for a slayer compilation that Joss Whedon is working on. It should be super cool, too.



VI: Okay. You act, you're putting together an independent film and you've co-written a comic book. Are there any other art forms you're looking to explore?



AB: The art of sleeping. hehe.



VI: What are you going to do when CHANCE is finished?



AB: Cry. 'Cause it's been such an amazing roller coaster of a ride.





At the time of this writing, CHANCE is still in post-production, and has not been confirmed for distribution or Indie film festival screenings. A new fundraising campaign has begun to cover post-production costs, featuring on-line auctions of scripts and other memorabilia autographed by Benson, Marsters and the other cast members.



For further information on the on-line auctions or to see photos from the film, visit the Chance web site.

---

Edited by: J uk at: 7/31/03 6:01 pm

[kajo 2000]

J uk: Thanks for posting that interview, it was new to me.



Here is another older interview (mostly about Chance) from Liquid Ohio:

Quote:

---

Making Demons Skulk:

The Amber Benson Interview

Big 'ol Buffy-heads that we are, we often spend our geeky time searching out info on its cast & crew. We were very excited to find that Amber Benson (Tara) was making her own movie - as in writing, directing, acting and all the other movie-making hoopla that I'm clueless about. There's fundraising to help with - flic-making is a money vacuum - and in the spirit of trying to help a fellow creative soul do its thing, we jumped on the story and snagged an interview.



So, explain the premise of the movie.



Basically, Chance is my take on how hard it is to, first of all, figure out who you are, then find something to do with your life that doesn't majorly suck and, last but not least, find someone to share the rest of your time here on planet earth with.



Oh and I also wanted to show the world that a woman can look damn sexy with a fake Charlie Chaplin moustache made outta eyeliner. (That was my REAL goal) hehe.



With doing all the Buffy stuff, where did you find the time and energy to write a screenplay?



I've been writing forever. It's such an amazing escape. Instead of freaking out when I'm stressed, I come home, sit down in front of the 'puter and pour my guts out to the keyboard. So... Needless to say, with all the long Buffy hours (which includes mucho down time in your trailer) I had to get a laptop. That way I didn't have to resort to sniffing armpits to get high and zone out. J/k on the armpit part.



Did "Chance" start out as a movie in your head, or did it evolve from a story?



I just sort of sit down and start writing. Then I refine and shape the story after I've had time away from the mega regurgitation. But I HAVE to purge the story out of my system first. I am NO GOOD with outlines. sob. Which probably creates more work for me in the end, but so be it.



Which movies, if any, inspired you to want to make your own?



I love Antonia's Line. It made me realize that a woman centric story can be sooooo much more captivating than the boy counterpart fare. And then The Celebration and Mifune (two of the Dogma movies - you know, the whole Lars von Trier thingy) gave me the courage to be a guerilla and just do it.



Was it way different to be giving direction to people like Emma and James, whom you've been used to working with as fellow actors?



They both are so fantastic that I rarely had to say ANYTHING to them. Steven Soderbergh gave me a piece of advice that has stuck with me for almost ten years. He said that the real directing came in casting well. So, that was the mantra I lived by during the pre-production and filming. luckily I have a plethora of talented and wonderful friends who worked their butts off for me.



We always hear actors say "some day I want to direct" but you actually went out there and did it. What motivated you?



I knew that unless I did this for myself no one was gonna ever give me the opportunity. In this life, you either have to do it yourself or just be hella lucky. And since luck and I sometimes don't see eye to eye, well... there you go. But seriously, film is my passion and I was withering away as a creative entity by not living up to my full potential. Acting on Buffy rocks! But there's just so much more I want to do in this life.



Would you ever do it again?



Hell, yes. Everyone should face their demons had least once. It's such a high to see them skulk away when you win the staring match. :)



Which do you enjoy more, acting, writing or directing?



I love writing. It's such an intimate, powerful thing. And the thing that I am the least secure about. The acting I just do. It's a part of me and I couldn't see myself without it. The directing was so much fun. I loved saying "Cut"! I'm such a weirdo, but being in a scene and then taking everyone back to reality when it was completed was so COOL!



What was the most unexpected part of the "making your own movie" thing?



How tired I was gonna be :)



How did you come up with the fundraiser idea?



Actually, my mom and my good friends Jen and Beth came up with that all on their own. And I can't even begin to express how absolutely moved I was by the outpouring of love from the internet community. It's makes me realize how interconnected we all are. And reaffirms how wonderful humanity can be.



What are the next steps for the movie? What's up with distribution aspect - What's involved?



Well, next up is post-production. I can't wait to see the final product. Right now we have a lot of raw footage, but soon we will make ourselves a cozy little blanket from all the pieces.



How can people help?



Send us happy thoughts!



Last question - what's your favorite cookie?



Definitely, Uncle Eddie's Vegan peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies.

---

---------

"I want to be Byron... because I want to date young boys." Amber Benson

Edited by: kajo 2000 at: 8/6/03 5:18 am

[urnofosiris]

Thanks J uk and Kajo , these interviews are both new to me, though some of the questions and answers aren't, heh. It is fun to read this knowing everything that has happened since and to think back about what things were like at the time. A total shame that Chance has not gotten more recognition, it deserves it, but that can still happen. In the meanwhile I eagerly await my copy of the DVD.

-------------------------


Coffee, Food, Kisses and Gay Love........Get it while you are hot

[hin768]

I love reading interviews with Amber, thanks do much

[kajo 2000]

I just found this article about Amber's car accident on the way to Moonlight Rising at Clari.net:

Quote:

---

'Buffy' star's mom slays deer

Wednesday, 11-Jun-2003 8:51PM PDT



CATSKILL, N.Y., June 11 (UPI) - Amber Benson had a good excuse for being tardy to a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" convention last weekend: a deer ran into her mother's car in upstate New York.



Benson, who played Willow's kind-hearted girlfriend, Tara, on the popular television drama, told hundreds of fans at the three-day event she and her mother drove all the way from California, then hit the deer shortly before they reached the hamlet of Catskill in upstate New York.



"I'm sure everybody knows now that I'm a murderer," she joked. "My mom and I drove in from Los Angeles. We just got in this huge fight. My mom likes to drive and I'm not a very good driver ... For some reason, the green light looks red and the red light looks green and pedestrians, I don't see why they have to be on the sidewalk ..."



"So, yes, we just had a conversation about what a terrible driver I am, so I said, 'I'm going to bed' and I took my pillow (and tried to go to sleep.) And two seconds later, I'm like, 'We hit a guardrail!' But we didn't hit the guardrail. A deer hit us. It committed suicide. It did. It jumped out at us. And I'm really glad I was asleep because I don't eat meat. I haven't eaten meat in almost 13 years and if I had seen venison on my windshield, I probably would have thrown up."



No humans were injured in the accident.



Story from United Press International

Copyright 2003 by United Press International (via ClariNet)

---

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"I want to be Byron... because I want to date young boys." Amber Benson

[urnofosiris]

I heard it was a white deer, maybe it was the last of it's kind. Not that I want to add to the guilt or anything.

It was Amber's own car wasn't it? So she owns the murder weapon.

-------------------------


Coffee, Food, Kisses and Gay Love........Get it while you are hot

[xita]

So funny lol, the deer committed suicide! But on the plus side, MR people were able to serve us some dinner with it!

- - - - - - - - - - -
"The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last."

-Willie Wonka

[Hemiola]

Dr. G--As a New York State resident, I can assure you it was a white-tailed deer, which are so common here that they are considered to be pests and are regularly hunted. Many people refer to them as "rats with hooves".

Consequently, Ms. Amber's mom did a good thing.

[MellindraX]

Oh wow, thanks for all of these! So much fun, and funny

I got about six new things to add to my quote collections, though my personal favorite is: "My mom and I drove in from Los Angeles. We just got in this huge fight. My mom likes to drive and I'm not a very good driver ... For some reason, the green light looks red and the red light looks green and pedestrians, I don't see why they have to be on the sidewalk ..." Teeheehee, those silly pedestrians.



Is there anywhere where I can find audio files of her on Loveline??? I would be sooo friggin' grateful!

It is my solace, my home, the place where my walls crumble and fall away, because no one can know who I truly am. Thank goodness for the Internet, preserver of sanity! -Unknown

[kajo 2000]

MellindraX: Leeky posted a couple of MP3 audio files of Amber's most recent appearance on Loveline (in March 2002) at the Essence of Amber forum. Here are the direct links:



Loveline (whole show - approx 1 hour) 10MB



Loveline (Amber highlights only - approx 14 mins) 2.5 MB



Hope this helps.

---------

"I want to be Byron... because I want to date young boys." Amber Benson

[urnofosiris]

Ah Amber on loveline. I remember listening to it life in chat. *sigh* I hope she will make another appearance sometime. Those guys can be annoying but we have gotten some great Amber quotes everytime she was on there.

-------------------------


Coffee, Food, Kisses and Gay Love........Get it while you are hot

[MellindraX]

Thanks, kajo!

Now all I need to do is find the first time they interviewed her. I wanna hear the plusho



And yeah, gotta love those quotes! (she is the queen of nerds)

It is my solace, my home, the place where my walls crumble and fall away, because no one can know who I truly am. Thank goodness for the Internet, preserver of sanity! -Unknown

[kajo 2000]

MellindraX: Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find the full version of Amber's previous appearance on Loveline anywhere. However, Amberess (a Yahoo! Group, which requires registration before you can access it) has lots of clips in their "Files" section, including the following items:



MP3s:



8 short clips labelled "Loveline interview clip" - all dated December 2000.



2579 KB file entitled An interview with Amber on Dallas Radio Nov. 7th, 2000



Video clips:



4 rm clips of Amber's appearance on VH1's "The List"



Hope this helps.





Edited to add: Radio SciFi has 3 brief rm audio clips of Amber being interviewed at MegaCon 2001.





Edited again to add: older Amber interview I just found at Seventeen.com:

Quote:

---

little black book - stars



amber benson isn't dead

--Heather Fusion



Amber Benson arrived at the seventeen.com office wearing crumpled over-sized overalls and no makeup. She looked so great. Her quirkiness, confidence and immediate friendliness made her positively glow. Not to mention, she's also totally gorgeous.



She was drinking a huge latte when I met her. "Sorry if I seem a bit dazed," Amber apologized. "Our cat is on the road with us and we couldn't find a hotel in New York that would take pets until 3 a.m.!"



Amber, her sister Danielle, their mom and their road-warrior cat are driving cross-country this summer, stopping at sci-fi/fantasy conventions, film festivals and sightseeing.



We decided to grab some lunch at Ruby Foo's, a swanky Chinese restaurant in Times Square. Over vegetarian entrees, Amber talked about her role as Tara and what else she's been up to lately. "I loved being on Buffy, but creatively, it was kind of tough because I got relegated to a quiet, reticent character. She doesn't say a lot." Amber herself was remarkably confident and outgoing in person. Even our waiter couldn't help joking around with her.



So, Amber decided to create her own character - in her own movie! She wrote, directed, produced and starred in an independent film called Chance, about a girl struggling to find romance in all the wrong places. "I got so sick of reading scripts where it's like the girlfriend, or girl in peril, or the tomboy best friend. It's frustrating. There's never a really good female character that has depth." James Marsters, who plays Spike on Buffy, also stars in the film. Amber says, "He's fantastic. He's so funny!"



In her spare time, Amber also co-wrote a Willow and Tara comic book. We headed over to my favorite comic shop, Midtown Comics, to check it out. Many fan boys were stunned to see Amber walk in and almost fell over each other to catch a closer glimpse of her. Amber showed me her comic - a pro-environmental story centered on saving an old-age forest from loggers and angry wood demons. She also pointed out a couple of her favorite comics - Blue Monday by Chynna Clugston-Majors and Promethea by Alan Moore.



All too soon it was time to say good-bye and let Amber continue with her trip. It was good to know that despite the tragic death of Tara at the end of last season, the multi-talented actress who plays her is alive and well. Now if only Tara herself could come back next season... Who knows? After my amazing afternoon with Amber Benson, I realized that sometimes dreams really do come true.



Photos: Kim Rygiel

---

If you click on the above link, there are also a couple of small Amber pics (one with her sister Danielle).

---------

"I want to be Byron... because I want to date young boys." Amber Benson

Edited by: kajo 2000 at: 3/1/04 3:09 am