Poems all kinds mixed up

[sam darls]

Aprill..they were so amazing and definitely intense.. Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[SJ]

Great imagery in your poetry

[shadowygirl]

This is to everyone SJ , Sam , Terra , Rockin Rose , Sarah , Arron , everyone that's left feed back thank you so much for reading and staying with me here while I keep posting poems either that be Dark poems or light poems Love poems or sad poems , Thank ya'll so much for reading and being kind enough to leave feed back .....



I love you babes :*



Luv April

[shadowygirl]

How its you



I don’t understand out of all the people in this world

you are the one who made me fall

And I’ve crumbled to your feet

Broken down in tears

And I feel the softness of your touch

And the whisper in my ear

Of the loving truthful words

I know you mean with everything

I am thankful to have you

And lucky to be near you

Quietly you hold me

Making sure I’m alright

And in the darkest moment of my life

When I didn’t think I could take another breath

You’re here

Gracefully you’ve given me what keeps me going

And I am not shamed to show you my tears

Because I know you won’t look down on me

you’ve carried me through

Removed the clouds from my eyes

And pulled the dagger from my heart

I’m in this place I never thought I’d be

I’ve fallen

And you’ve caught me

Held me safely

away from everything that scared me

everything that haunted me

But I don’t understand

How you brought me through

How its you





~~~~



Start the night



I can hear you smile in the dark

I can even feel you breathe beside me

And when day light comes

We’ll close the curtains

Pretend the night just started

Forget about work

And everything else

It can wait a while

Turn off the phones

And lock the doors

Today we’re not home

We’ll keep the lights low

Maybe a candle or two

And you’ll feel the love I feel for you

No need to rush

Time is on our side

I want to hear your heart beat

And feel the way you move

I keep falling for you

I don’t know how

And you kiss away my tears

Again for the first time

And I can hear you smile in the dark

And I finally feel your heart beat

Today we’ll start the night

I can’t find the words to tell you

So my touch will have to do

Maybe my finger tips can show my love for you

[onyxsundrops]

Very beautiful poems. Start the night was my fav. Thanks.



Yvonne

[SJ]

Lovely poems

[girlfriends actually]

Your poetry is very intense. Some of its kind of hard for me to read coz it hits to close to home. The two newest are a really nice break from the pain. Great poems.

[Karmah]

You rock

your amazing

and I love you

She walks in beauty, Like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that's best of dark and bright. Meet in her aspect and her eyes.

~ by Byron ~

[sam darls]

So beautiful . Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[intricate mirage]

Beautiful and sweet, loved them, especially loved 'Start the Night' Keep up the great writing April!



Cass xx

---

My whole life I've loved only one person, that person was you

Edited by: intricate mirage at: 6/28/04 8:19 am

[shadowygirl]

Okay ya'll , As most of you know Arron was finally here in Canada for a visit she was here for my birthday and then left a few days later and Can I just say wow I love that woman heh .... Anyhoo this is what I wrote after she left ....

I love you sweetheart





Know



Now that you’ve gone so far away

My soul is aching

Crying out in lonely sobs

Needing you next to me

My hand is lost

And it is empty



Looking for yours



Needing to wrap itself around your fingers

And hold you tightly to me



Never let you go again



My eyes are hurting from all the tears that have been falling

Stinging on their way to the lonely ground



Where my feet are standing

Holding me up

Hardly



What happened to my rules that I could never fall this hard

I would never need someone

this much



They all went out the window the moment you took me in your arms



and wouldn’t let me go



And I don’t want to be let go of

But you had to go back home



And now my soul is crying

My heart is softly sobbing

And I am here lonely

No longer just to wonder but to know

Everything that I am missing

[shadowygirl]

Yvonne Thank you so much for reading and liking and for the lovely reply



SJ as always thanks for reading



AG thank you for reading and leaving a reply



Arron sweetheart I LOVE YOU MORE heh



Sam Thanks



Cass ... ITS BEEN FOREVER !!!!! How are you ?! lol ok anyhoo thanks for reading and glad you liked them oh and thank you for the feedback



Luv April and to everyone else who read thank you for reading

[Mikaelah Braenna]

Hey sis... I figured it was about time that I left you feedback since I never do. I love your writing, especially -Start the night-. Hopefully, you will write more soon.



~Mikaelah



P.S. When you have a moment, find me. I have an interesting revelation for you that may even shock you.

That'll teach me to challenge her. ~Tara ... ~Something New by Ophelia11

[Karmah]

Nope I love you more

and where is the latest April works I was going to leave your feedback here but they are not hummmmmm. lol

I love you baby

Arron

She walks in beauty, Like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that's best of dark and bright. Meet in her aspect and her eyes.

~ by Byron ~

[xeembiote]

APRIIIIILL!!!!!! *jumps on April* I just started reading your poems! And its gooooood

kay.. back to reading again.. Keep it up

[shadowygirl]

Hey Mikay thanks for the lovely feed back and I dont think anything you could say would shock me anymore hah



Babes I love you more damnit



and MARIE !!!!!!!!!!!!! *catches you* hah thanks for the feed back more poems coming up in a few days



To everyone else who read thank you for taking interest hope you liked them



Luv April

[WhiteSkyFire]

Cant wait to see more of your work April... I love coming in here and reading it. Sorry I dont leave more feedback for you. Keep it up tho... i'm lovin it all.



-Sky-

[shadowygirl]

I know it has been awhile !:O hah but here are some more finally the first one is kinda poem/lyrics .....



~~~~~~~~~~





Feelings sitting alone



I don’t want to understand why my heart is softly crying out

And how the laughter in my ears won’t go away

When there is no reason to smile

How come I’m sitting here

Wondering when I could be doing something

Sleeping

Walking

Thinking

Anything

How do I tell you that I need you more then I need to breathe

And how can I make you understand

That I love you more then my heart can take

And it hurts

It actually hurts to love you

And the tears that are stinging my eyes wont stop flowing

How can I make them stop flowing



And when you need me

Will you close your eyes and wish me there

And when I need you

Will you touch my heart with a simple thought

And this distance is eating away at me

But I wont let it break me

So please don’t let it break you



How can I begin to understand that one day

One day soon we’ll actually be

Be together for all time

Be together through our tears

And how can I live this life alone

I had you for a single moment

In my arms

By my side

Since you’ve gone

This ache has made home in my heart

But I’ll go on

If you’ll go on





And when you need me

Will you close your eyes and wish me there

And when I need you

Will you touch my heart with a simple thought

This distance is eating away at me

But I wont let it break me

So please don’t let it break you



~~~~



Lost Inside My Own Confusion ..



I'm clutching at this invisible wall above my head

Have to get out , break through

Touch me, save me

Help me ,hurt me

Kill me

Make it stop

make it go away, some how

kiss me

till I can't feel anything

I want this burning pain

so fierce that it feels so bad

but hurts so good

strip me

clothes and skin

everything till I'm safe again

make me new again

scared

and hurting

and always alone

so alone

terrified and enraged

and will you stop

walk away

leave me here

standing with my arms wrapped around myself

holding on for everything that I'm not worth

feeling ashamed for something

I don't know what

but something

and my ghosts are closing in

above my head

smirking

laughing

and I'm sorry

I'm so sorry

I couldn't save myself

and there's something I need to know

I really have to know

does this hurt more then you can bare

does it hurt more then unforgiving tears

don't stop

even though it's breaking my heart

please I'll beg you not to stop

kiss me

once more

and it feels like its our first time

our one and only time

and I it feels like its goodbye

then you pull away with unshed tears behind your eyes

and its grief

and regret

and its so painful that it doesn't hurt anymore

everything we've lost along the way

everything that could but never will be

I have to go away

get out, break free

Touch me, save me

Help me ,hurt me

Kill me

Make it stop

make it go away, some how

kiss me

till I can't feel anything

safe

make me safe



~~~~~



Baby of mine



My soul was pierced with such a feeling of love

that it was agony

My body was full of fire burning deep within

And I felt as though my eyes were crying blood

Then it was gone

And I was left as cold as steal

and as hard as stone

Wishing

Pleading

For you to feel me once again

Left here with foolish thoughts

I was shamed

Heart broken

And yet amazed

Momentarily touched by love

My life

Had been changed



~~~~



Little girl I used to be

smile for me one last time





I swear

I can't take this anymore

these horrid thought's of who I'll never be

this girl I see when I look in the mirror

she's torturing me

with her wicked smirk

and that evil smile

and that wall

the one that isn't real

its like steel , she won't let anyone in

very few see past and when they do she tries to hide

she tries to run



Thinking nothing

because she's nothing

she needs to satisfy her cravings

but it never works

no matter what she takes

or what she drinks

or thinks

someone is there

in her mind

telling her that she is nobody

and she is nobody

I hate that girl I see

and it hurts

sometimes it hurts so much I think I'm dead

but then again I wouldn't hurt if I were dead

I would be painless

but I can't be painless



The pain makes me know that I'm alive

and to be without

would be wrong

but right

and you can't be both



I see these pictures of when I was younger

when I was 8 , 9 , 10

I looked so happy

or was that a fake smile even then

and I wish I could be that little girl

the one with not a worry in this world

with pure innocents in her eyes

but I am not that girl

and I can never be that girl again



and Happy

Can I be happy

everyone keeps asking "why don't you smile ?"

"You have such a pretty smile"

it's amazing that everyone always finds the fakest things to be the prettiest

and I don't smile because I have to reason to

and if you look

look deep enough into my eyes

you might just catch a glimps of my soul

battered and tortured

worn and bruised

but still able to love

you also might see just a tiny part of the little girl I used to be

and in her you will see me Happy

and you will see me smile one last time





and that is it for now hope ya'll enjoy they are a lil odd I know but Oddness is what I am



hah luv April

And I really do love you more hehehehehe

[WhiteSkyFire]

Hey.. lookie there.. I post a feedback and get more poems! yay! Ok, I know its not because I posted feedback but I can imagin right? Anywho, great poems April. Keep em coming!



-Sky-

[sam darls]

OOh, wonderful poems . Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[onyxsundrops]

'Lost inside...' great poems.



Yvonne

[Spikeizmine87]

Im breakin my rule, but i dont care! so there be special! Aprirl i fuckin adore these new poems! I wanna keep em as pets and put em in the corner or my room next to my shoes...yes im odd...anyway...enjoyed the new ones! Im only posting cause you did, so now i shall go into hiding once more! loves it, loves you!! Oh yes and april, thanks for always being there for me when i need it!! I adore you for it!

+

-rose

So I found out some things about you. You're not the girl I thought i knew. I found out I wasnt perfect enough for you. I found out that my love will never be good enough.

[Arron CFF]

Hey ya'll I get the privilege of posting this poem heh

hope yous enjoy

AnA



Measure of Me



You can't begin to understand

the true meaning of who I am

or the measure of who I might be

you look and see what you want

a brief reflection of a person I might be

breaking at the seams

slipping through the cracks

seeking a place to breathe

away from the harshness you bring



Author's Comments:

Well My girlfriend Arron and I wrote this She helped me and I helped her on this poem . . . so tell me what ya think its not to long but I kinda really like it its short and straight to the point just like her hehe

[SJ]

Liked all those poems,great writing

[onyxsundrops]

I liked 'Measure of Me', glad you decided to post it.



Yvonne

[barnabasvamp]

Very nice, found myself caught up in the last one!



BV

It's the passion in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it.

[sam darls]

So lovely . Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[shadowygirl]

Well to everyone who posted feedback thank you all so so much I know its been a few months or weeks I donno really since I posted poems I haven't been around much but I have written a lil so here are a few hope ya'll like em





~~~



Far from me



Far from me

totally gone

lost

needing to get out

to forget

but I remember

and it hurts

it hurts so much

but I can't cry

that would be

giving in

I can't give in

not yet

no time

I need to sleep

but My mind

its haunted

with images

and feelings

and I can't forget

if I could simply just

forget

everything would be alright

I could sleep

dream

without nightmares

memories

bad memories

need to go

far away

somewhere safe

far from me

out of mind

out of sight

to forget



       





~~~~~~





Who am I ?



I’m an odd ball

Smiling while I’m hurting  

Crying when I’m happy

Backwards

I have this need to be

everything that’s not  

“normal”

Been trying to figure out who I am

Spending every moment thinking of who I am

Who I could be

And I can’t think anymore

It’s making me insane

Though I was already pretty far gone



I could just be me

even though I’ve been through almost 20 years

Trying to figure out who in the hell that was

Thought I did a few times

Obviously I was wrong

Lost so much

Taken a little

Given even more  

And now I have nothing left

Hmmm

Been looking in the mirror so long now

My image has become distorted

Like a funny mirror at the carnival

My head is twisted around

And my body doesn’t fit

Nothing really fits

And I’m humming this tune that’s been stuck in my head

For about 3 days

I can’t go to sleep

Because its stuck in my head

And it isn’t helping my case at all

Its like

I’m this random act of unforgiving seconds that change your life

You know

Those ones that you don’t really even notice till years later

Then you’re like WHOA ! that’s when that happened

That is who I am

I’m seconds

 Moments

    Hours

       Days

          Weeks

             Months

                 Years

I’m me

    I’m thoughts

         Feelings

A girl

Woman actually



Strange how I went from being this 5 year old little girl

With little blonde ringlets in her hair

To this 19 year old woman

That is so lost inside her self its almost amusing

In that wow that’s so horrible it sucks to be you kind of way

I guess I’m just me

No matter which way you cut it

I’ll always be that 5 year old little girl

Who was scared if her parents were out of eye sight

No one is in sight

And I’m scared

       

       





~~~~~



Is the worst over this time around

do you think you can fix what's broken

what I've broken inside myself

what you've broken inside you



Bring me back  

you're reality

leave me here ....alone

can you take me far away

can you take me far

bring me back



Is this life that I don't understand as good as its gonna get

Do you think we can make it better

do you think we can make it through



Bring me back

you're reality

leave me here ....alone

can you take me far away

can you take me far

bring me back



Do you think we're gonna turn cold

here in this freezing hell *burn me*

Can you guide me *lose me*

After every beating I end up taking *hating*

will you scream inside yourself

try to make me understand *make me see*



Bring me back

you're reality

leave me here ....alone

can you take me far away

can you take me far

bring me back



Bring me back

you're reality

leave me here ....alone

can you take me far away

can you take me far

bring me back 

don't forget me

don't forget me

bring me back

you're reality        

       





~~~~~

Cry



She Cries

As quiet as snow she cries

and I swallow her words

pennies on my tongue

blood in my throat

burning

staining me permanently

washing me clean

and I give her more and more

all that I have

She takes

everything

greedily

and she cries

even though

those harsh words were her own

She bleeds of her own will

she hates the things she's done

she does

she surrendered to me

she needs like I need

this hurt

this love

this crazy joy

excruciating pain

There's fight and kill

warmth and need

all in a simple lovingly stone cold glare

Now I'm far away

here but far away

and this is as gentle as I've ever felt

and it hurts to hear her say my name

so I cry as hard as rain

I cry

       

       





~~~~~

Empty



I live for nothing

because

I am everything

and if I can simply breathe

I'll be okay

I'm motionless

simmering in my own thoughts

I move without movement

strangled

and quiet

kept in my own seriousness

away

kept away

far away

all eyes on me

but I can't see

anyone

no one around the corner

hidden in the shadows

right in front of me

there's nobody

and I'll hold my breath to make this end

and suddenly I'm moving

everything is moving so fast I can't see

can't think

I'm free

loud and free

Now I'm kept by everyone

here

right here

in front of everyone

and no one is looking

but the room is full



       

       





~~~~~~



Not Ready



I want this

But its just out of reach

And I don’t know why

Every reason seems so lousy

Seems like its  an excuse

Another reason

To hide

To run

to not have to face this thing

Feeling

Thing

Love

This love

Its love

And its evident

And its right here in my heart

In my head

But its so far away

And I’m ready for it

But its not ready for me

I guess

And how is this possible

For me to fall so hard

without my safety net

And to hit bottom

Yes I hit bottom

Hard

And it hurt like hell

Like an upper cut

straight to the nose

It broke me

And it lifted me up

Then pieced me back together

Its changed me into this person

Someone I never thought I’d be

And I’m ready for it

But its so far away

And its not ready for me  

How can it not be ready for me



       

       





~~~~~



Paper love



When your words are your hands

and my heart is your note book

will you write the story of your life on my bleeding heart  

will you shape me to your will

paint your pleasure on my weeping soul

with your tender fingers

move my body like the wind tossing pages

and when you are finished

will you read me

like an antique paper back

touched by so many

will you read me







~~~



Cry was my fav this time hehe

remember be good lil kittens and don't do anything I wouldn't do hehehe



Luv April

[Spikeizmine87]

April posted april posted APRIL POSTED! Well i knew you would cause you told me! hehe Love these poems aprilness!!! Its good to have you finally update! haha and i hope you do more!!

-rose

I didnt know what being happy was till i found you, i didnt know what love meant till i loved you.

[onyxsundrops]

Wow, you're back. A lot of poems you've got there, I enjoyed reading them all.



Yvonne