New Fic: Three Years Later

[sapphocrazygirl]

TITLE: Three Years Later



AUTHOR: Saph



DISCLAIMER: Oh honestly, if anyone affiliated with ME is even close to reading this, they should get themselves off the Internet, take Buffy out of syndication, and produce Season 8, wherein W/T are happy and together without question or threat. ‘Nuff said.



NOTES: W/T and the general extent of the Buffyverse are constantly playing on a movie inside my head. I've tried to put this storyline down. It might suck. I haven't written in a good long while.



FEEDBACK: Yes. I don't mean the good kind. Please tell me how to make things clearer, how to get inside the heads of the characters, because Kittens are always on the up-and-up of what Tara, Willow, Buffy, Xander etc would probably say and do. The nice flattery kind is welcome too.



SUMMARY: This takes place three years after Tabula Rasa. Tara moved to L.A. after she left Willow (okay yes, I know this is bordering on heresy. But I promise she will come back and all will be well). None of the events in Season Seven happened. Willow is teaching computer science at SHS, where Buffy is a guidance counselor. They are still living in the Summers residence. Dawn is now a senior in high school.



------------------------------------------------------



It was raining. Buffy was startled by the dark clouds and the downpour, yet she kept walking down the middle of Sunnydale’s main street. All around her, the townspeople went about their business – drinking coffee, waiting for the bus, buying clothes – as if the rain wasn’t there. She watched them, listened to them. They laughed, talked, waited in the rain as if it was a regular sunny Sunnydale day.



Suddenly, an open black umbrella appeared in front of Buffy. The umbrella came up, and Dawn rested it over her shoulder. She was drenched, and her eyes were red.



“It’s been raining for three years,” she said, and although she looked sad her voice was dull. “Don’t you think she’d make it stop?”



Buffy stared at her. “Who?”



Faith appeared as well. She stood in the rain, just next to Dawn’s umbrella. She was soaked, and wearing black leather. She looked at Dawn, puzzled. “I don’t remember you.”



“I wasn’t there then,” said Dawn.



“Right,” answered Faith, as if this was a completely understandable statement. She and Dawn nodded at each other, as if they were old friends.



Buffy stared at both of them. “I don’t understand,” she said, and her voice was growing in urgency. “Dawn, what’s going on?” She almost grabbed her sister, but she let her hand drop uselessly.



Faith turned and looked down the road. Not looking at Buffy, she answered, “You have to open your eyes, B.”



Dawn turned and looked down the street as well. Buffy peered between them. Fifty feet away, Willow was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the road, wearing jeans and a black shirt. She was surrounded by destroyed computers, and she was ripping the cords and pieces out of the laptop in her lap. It sparked.



Buffy stood over her. “Will?”



“Don’t worry Buff,” said Willow. She raised her head, and her wide witchy-black eyes stared up at Buffy in a maniac way. “They can’t hurt me anymore.”



Buffy started awake. She gasped, opened her eyes. Then she glanced around, confused. She was in her bedroom, in her own bed. The sunlight streamed in across the carpet, catching glints of gold on the dresser.



“Buffy!” Dawn yelled from outside her door. “Are you gonna get up or not?”



--------------------------------------------------



Yes? No? I don't want any of this "Very nice" gunk. Give me something to eat, people. If it's boring, I need to know

---

"I got my axe, I got my honey...

I'd say all I need is a quiet room and some body lotion and I've got me a party!"

- Faith, in Torturing Touch

Edited by: Warduke at: 5/12/04 7:09 am

[mollyig]

Starting with a prophetic-type dream is a classic Buffy tactic; it instills intrigue and the urge to read on to see what in the story matches up with the dream.



I'd like to see you continue.

---

"Love is just like breathing when it's true" Indigo Girls

[veiled isis moon]

Hi.



Well, it's a different start to a fic, Buffy having one of her chosen dreams, which i'm assuming it is, correct me if i'm wrong.



The fact that it's been raining for three years i'm guessing is because Tara left her three years ago and she hasn't been the same since, and it seems as if no one has helped Willow deal with her increasingly dark use of magic. Seems like there could be trouble ahead for Willow and the scoobies, focus on the Willow part.



The fact that Buffy is dreaming about the rain and Willow seems to be the main focus of her dream suggesting that Willow might be working some dark mojo soon, and that Buffy hasn't noticed or cared enough about the change in her best friend to help her get through it.



So there you go that's what i think is going on, but i could be wrong. It's grabed my attention and i'm curious as to what's gonna happen next and what the situation is with all the scoobies, plus Faith is back which is never a bad thing !



In my opinion it's a good and different start to a Tara and Willow fic and i'm sure it'll grab people's attention. I think you should continue writing, i wanna see where your going with this story!



Michellex

Edited by: veiled isis moon at: 5/12/04 7:34 am

[mxgirl314]

I like I like please continue

[onyxsundrops]

Honestly, there isn't much in-depth feedback I could give on the first post, however, the story does have potential. I'm curious about the significance of the dream, mainly what Willow was talking about. Was she talking about the computers or people? And I'm also wondering why she didn't get electrocuted playing with wires in the rain. Feeding off of Michelle's comments, I'm guessing that Willow's use of magick and it being ignored by her friends, plays an important role in what's to happen.



Yvonne

Edited by: onyxsundrops at: 5/12/04 10:23 am

[JewWitch18]

OK, girl, I get that you want big juicy feedback. not of the fluffy variety. and I would love to give it to you, but there's only so much to say about such a very short teaser. I can say (and will-- here it comes!) that I like this start, that you are competent in the mechanics of the craft (writing, not witchy mojo) and that prophetic dreams are always an excellent hook. I've always been partial to buffy dreamscapes, and transferring them from the screen to the page can be tricky. I am keen to see more of this world, and find out what this dream is all about, though I daresay other kittens have nailed the dominating themes already. plus, any fic with faith in it automatically gets my attention. what can I say-- I've just always felt that buffy and faith need each other the same way willow and tara do, and the four of them together are, like, the ultimate scooby dream team. so I say, go on girl! please. you obviously have a story to tell, so don't be shy. give us a nice healthy portion of sapphic goodness.



--JW

I'm having one of those headaches...with pictures...a thought!

--Frye, Futurama

[WillowPowered]

Off to a good start. You should definitely keep going with it.



Jill

~~~~~~~~

Willow - Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs did ya?



My Home Page | Amber Powered | Alyson Powered



There is a little bit of Amber in all of us.

[pipsberg]

Oh wow, this is a great start. I am completely intrigued!! PLease update soon.

-pipsberg



"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep - it's as simple and ordinary as that."

Michael Cunningham, The Hours

[sapphocrazygirl]

Fair enough points all. So, continuing.



---------------------------------------------



Buffy walked downstairs, rubbing her hand over her eyes. Willow was sitting at the kitchen table, her coffee and newspaper forgotten next to a high-tech laptop which she was scanning furiously. Dawn was at the stove, flipping pancakes.



“Morning, Will,” said Buffy, pulling herself onto a stool next to the counter.



“Mornin’, Buff,” said Willow, not looking up. She was scowling ever so slightly at the computer screen.



“What’s up, computer queen?” said Dawn as she handed Buffy a plate of pancakes. Buffy took a sip of her orange juice and set the plate in front of herself.



Willow shook her head and sighed. “This idiot girl in Programming Two. I’ve been explaining this for a week, but she hasn’t been in class, and now her program’s completely – completely guzzled.” She stared sadly at the computer screen.



“Is that a computer term?” said Dawn, and smiled slightly. Willow looked up at her, then glanced at Buffy.



“I’m sorry guys. I’m just frustrated. I work so hard to teach these things, these skills that are so important now in the real world.” Willow sighed, but suddenly her anger boiled, and she started gesturing fiercely and yelling. “And stupid people just blow off my classes to go smoke or make out or whatever it is you high school kids do these days!”



The kitchen was silent for a moment.



Willow stood up. “I’ve been working my ass off for three years, and I have nothing to show for it! Nothing! Barely a pay raise, nothing in my savings account, and my students can’t even make a duck dance across a screen!”



She slammed out the back door.



Buffy and Dawn looked at each other.



“I missed something,” said Dawn. “’Cause that was Scary Willow, right? The one that comes out every now and then to show off her complete lack of mood control?”



Buffy was still watching the back door. Willow was storming around the yard, gesturing wildly at things. “I think Scary Willow comes out about every once a month, usually around the full moon.”



Dawn leaned over the counter. “But Willow stopped – you know.”



Buffy turned to her, frowning.



Buffy remembered then: finding Willow one afternoon, furiously flipping through her day planner. She kept counting the days, over and over again, flipping back to one page with an angry swipe, and counting the days forward. She was murmuring under her breath. It was then that Buffy found out that Willow hadn’t had her period in three months. Buffy had dragged her to the doctor, who discovered that Willow’s body weight was so low that her fat percentage was almost nil, and her blood iron was too low for her to be as active as she was. Even after two months of carefully monitored eating and exercise, Willow’s menstrual cycle hadn’t picked up.



“I don’t know what it is, Dawnie.” Buffy glanced at the clock. “But I do know that we all need to pack up and head for school.”



“Would bolts of lightning come out of her fingers?” Dawn suddenly asked.



Buffy was picking up her black shoulder bag, and gave Dawn a “Huh?” look.



“If she was still practicing magick, I mean,” said Dawn, turning a dishcloth around in her hands. “Do you think, if she was really mad, that her fingers would spark?”



Buffy glanced out to the yard again. “I guess we’ll never know.”



-------------------------------------------



Yes, short. But if it is not good, it is better to stop now, yes?



Feedbackily, please. More to come soon.

---

"I got my axe, I got my honey...

I'd say all I need is a quiet room and some body lotion and I've got me a party!"

- Faith, in Torturing Touch

[WintersDreamer]

Okay... I'm hooked.



Great start with the dream.

It only took Willow three years to get her teaching degree?

What's Tara doing.... is she with the Angel crew?



Okay, I confess .... I'm hooked, now hurry up and update !

Edited by: WintersDreamer at: 5/13/04 5:34 am

[mollyig]

This new chapter has even more questions for us, which I like. I'm interested to see where you're going to go with this story so I do hope you continue.

---

"Love is just like breathing when it's true" Indigo Girls

[veiled isis moon]

I'm with the rest of the kittens on this one, you've got me all intrigued now with loads more questions rather than answers which is good.



Please continue.x

Michelle

[onyxsundrops]

Willow's mood swings seem reasonable enough, especially since she's probably been borderline bipolar for the past three years. Although I'm curious to know why she still isn't having her cycle. I'm guessing it's been awhile since she gave up magick, so the cravings can't really be part of it, though stress could be.



Also, I'm surprised Buffy didn't remember her dream after Dawn's comment. And Buffy's little comment at the end, just left the door wide open for her words to come back and haunt her. I think she should know better by now. Anyway, wonderful update.



Yvonne

[LizPuRR]

KEEP GOING!!!

----------------



"Oops, that kind of talk's more appropriate for the bedroom. I apologize."

Alyson Hannigan, That 70's Show

[pipsberg]

Totally hooked here!! More more more...

[sapphocrazygirl]

Alright, first and foremost I would like to give much and grateful thanks to the editors at the Kitten who keep a W/T fan (who’s still suffering from the scars of Seasons 6 & 7) on proper writing track. Y’all rock.



mollyig – I have to say I love your little penguin guy. I watched him five or six times before actually reading your feedback. Does he (or she!) have a name? From whence was he or she acquired?



Michelle – I love the way you interpreted the dream. I think I unconsciously plagarized a bit of it in the next update, so I’m giving you credit right now.



mxgirl314 – you got it!



Yvonne – thanks for noticing the ambiguity about “They can’t hurt me anymore.” To be perfectly honest I just saw the dream, and had to add interpretation to it afterwards – so at this point it could be computers, people, or frogs I’ll address some of Buffy’s comments in the next update.



JW – amen to the Faithness! It’s always difficult to work her into a relationship with Buffy after the evil Faith of late Season 3. But it’s a dream of mine to make it happen!



WillowPowered – thanks much.



pipsberg – I like your sig. To be “countercultural” I refused to see The Hours or read the book at the time that the movie came out. I’m beginning to suspect that I missed out on something rather good.



WintersDreamer – Willow has the teaching position at SHS which she acquired when Ms. Calender died – I'm going on the assumption that if a sixteen/seventeen year old could teach computer science, then the school wouldn’t object to hiring someone who was obviously talented even if she didn’t have a teaching degree.



LizPuRR – You got it!



Okay all - I'm off to prepare for three final essay exams, but I'll probably get an update up tomorrow or Sunday.

---

"I got my axe, I got my honey...

I'd say all I need is a quiet room and some body lotion and I've got me a party!"

- Faith, in Torturing Touch

[LoverofLesbianCharacter2]

I just wanted to say that this is a very interesting fic. I liked the beginning, it was very foreboding. I can't wait to see how Willow's behavior and Buffy's dream intermingle. Keep up the nice work. I just finished college this week and so now I have lots of time to read fiction, yea!!!.

[sapphocrazygirl]

Alright...I needed a study break, so I got an update done. This (and probably the next one) has a lot of musing and very little action. Sorry.



----------------------------------------



Alright…that’s two divorces, three breakups, six disciplinary referrals, and one girl with a sexual orientation that even the higher powers haven’t figured out yet, thought Buffy as she ran through the past six hours of her day. She loved being a guidance counselor, she really did; she loved working with high schoolers, helping solve problems in an un-apocalyptic sense, just being there for people in need; that was Buffy. But today she had handed out pamphlets and discipline and advice without really thinking about it.



Her dream had upset her. The seemingly endless rain, Dawn’s deadened voice, Willow’s eyes black again. It could be a prophetic dream; it was more likely the tumbled workings of her unconscious.



Willow’s eyes in the dream had scared her. On the night Tara left, Willow had sat in the bathroom, crying, not able to move, just weeping without sound. And when Buffy’s patience was gone and she broke down the bathroom door and kneeled next to her friend, trying to take her hand, trying to comfort, Willow had broken away from her and run through the house, stopping in Joyce’s room where she and Tara had been living – where Tara’s absence was blindingly felt, in the missing picture frames and clothes and witch’s herbs and most of all in the simply wonderful loving presence that was now gone.



Buffy had chased after Willow to find her standing in the room, staring around her, moving, swaying back and forth, her body showing so clearly that she no longer knew what to do. And she had darted across the room, snatched up a crystal that Tara must have left behind, and was ready to smash it against the wall, when a sob escaped from her and she crumpled to the floor.



Dawn and Buffy and Willow had cleared out everything the next day. Herbs, crystals, sand, mirrors – even candles, especially one candle that had apparently been lit only once and, when Willow saw it, had made her burst into tears and curl up on the bedspread with a mournful animal sound coming from her strained mouth.



“Never again,” Willow had wept then. “No more. Not ever.”



And even when it would have been beyond helpful, even when they faced any kind of Big Bad which could have, Giles and Anya had whispered, been whisked away with a simple spell, and easily by someone as powerful as Willow – even then, Willow refused, shook her head, said she just couldn’t. No more magick. There had been many fights, many disagreements among the Scoobies. Anya had even thrown a glass once, and everyone had watched it shatter against the kitchen tile. But Willow would say, again and again, “I just can’t. I can’t do it again.”



Since Glory, Buffy had averted five apocalypses, and countless innocent deaths. But, she was beginning to realize, she had not seen, and had not stopped, her best friend’s slow deterioration.



Willow had been fine, of course; there was an expected mourning period, with strange and unpredictable crying fits. And one day, maybe two months after Tara left, she was done. She didn’t talk about it, not at all. No one mentioned it – not Anya with her obvious lack of tact, not Dawn who desperately wanted to say something, anything about the woman she had looked up to and adored.



Buffy saw now that that wasn’t acceptance. Willow hadn’t accepted that Tara was gone; Willow hadn’t let go and moved on with her life. Willow, Buffy realized with an overwhelming bundle of guilt, had not been fine. Willow had been carrying an immense amount of guilt and pain, and she had refused to bear it with anyone else. She had closed off that part of herself – that wonderful part – that had been so in love, so connected to Tara.



This was not like Riley. This was not like Angel. Or maybe it’s both, Buffy mused. Willow found the one person she was meant to be with for the rest of her life. And then she made a stupid mistake and drove that one person away, and doesn’t know how to get her back.



Willow had been wonderful in raising Dawn, wonderful in teaching, wonderful in research and computer work and helping patrol. But something about her was dead. She had turned down amazing graduate schools, to teach computer science to high schoolers like she had since she was sixteen. She had been invited again and again to leave Sunnydale, only to refuse, to continue a small life in the corner bedroom of the Summers house.



Buffy checked her email at lunchtime that day, hoping to see the usual message from Willow about meeting for whatever atrocity the caf ladies were serving the faculty. But the message from rosenberg_w@shs.edu said only that she wasn’t feeling well and she had to pass on lunch today – but of course they would catch up over dinner, and have a great day, and don’t let those crazy kids get you down.



Buffy sighed and looked at the clock. Almost three. She could go home soon, hit the punching bag, call Giles and figure out the rain dream, call Xander and ask if he thought Willow was really as okay as they had all so desperately wanted to believe.



Three years. My God. Buffy thought, a little angrily. How did I never notice?



She tried not to let herself think about the other part of the dream, the part that had upset her almost more than Willow's eyes. But when she pulled open her bottom file drawer in a search for a pink disciplinary card, she had heard a spare wooden stake clatter against the side of the drawer, and she was lost in the thoughts that had plagued her lately.



Buffy was young. She knew that; she knew she had lasted much longer than most Slayers. Again and again, she cheated death. Or her friends had cheated it for her.



Even so. She was beginning to feel older, slower. At fourteen, at sixteen she had still been young, prone to panicking, easily thrown. At eighteen, at twenty, she had been strong, quick, almost flawless, almost unbeatable. Now she was almost twenty-four, and beginning to feel it. Even with Willow and Xander and Giles and Dawn and Anya, with everyone helping and pitching in and patrolling, she was still having close calls, still feeling tired, still feeling sore a little longer than she used to, still watching bruises and cuts take just a little longer to heal and fade.



Buffy didn’t want to admit how much she missed the camaraderie of the Chosen Two. But her unconscious clearly felt it; Faith had been a major player in her dreams lately.



She was always wearing black leather. The first time that she'd appeared like that - it was maybe three months ago - Buffy had been immediately ready to stake, Faith had looked so much like a vamp. But Faith hadn't even looked at her; all she'd said was, "Sometimes Miss Muffet isn't frightened."



Now Faith was in nearly every dream. She appeared when Buffy was disoriented, left her with something cryptic. Even when the dream had nothing to do with vamps or Dawn or anything really coherently related to Buffy's life; there was the dream where Buffy had been trapped inside a maze of cubicles, and when she'd tried to smash her way out, only to watch the wall gush blood, Faith had appeared. "Someone moved your cheese, B," Faith had said, staring at the bleeding wall, before she turned a corner and ran. Buffy had followed her and ran through seemingly endless corridors, always barely seeing Faith turn ahead of her, and when Buffy reached the end of the maze, she found herself standing in her own living room, with no sign of Faith.



She had felt suddenly alone and saddened, and she had awakened with a start. Remembering now, she frowned slightly.



I don’t miss the craziness, or the betrayal, or the attempt to steal my body and take it to Mexico, thought Buffy, and she tried to be bitter. But she only felt a sense of nostalgia, remembering Faith being there to fight, to take a little of the edge off, to cover her back, or to show up awkwardly for Christmas Eve with a book for her mom, a picture frame for Dawn and a hand-carved stake for Buffy.



She missed Faith.



A slender hand knocked on her open door, and Dawn stuck her head inside. “Hey big sis, got a minute?”



She sounded cheerful. Buffy knew better.



“Sure,” she said, closing her email and shutting the file drawer by her knees.



Dawn closed the door, then sat down on the couch along the wall. Buffy joined her, watched as Dawn stared at the ground, searching for the right words. Buffy stroked her hair, and they smiled at each other. Then Dawn looked away.



“It’s Tara,” said Dawn simply.



---------------------------------------



Sorry if the Faith part is a bit convoluted. I wanted to put some of the dreams in here somewhere and they didn't really fit. ("It grated, like something shoved in where it didn't belong...") But I wanted to explain a bit of what Faith is doing in Buffy's dreams.



Anyway, theology exams call...

---

"I got my axe, I got my honey...

I'd say all I need is a quiet room and some body lotion and I've got me a party!"

- Faith, in Torturing Touch

[onyxsundrops]

I don't mind the musings, at least it shows that Buffy's not as blind as she might seem. It's understandable that Willow would cut off that side of herself (the love). I mean, in addition to the mood swings, I'm sure she's feeling that she doesn't deserve love or that she belongs unhappy or empty. It's only natural.



So is Faith in prison still? If so, she probably won't be in there for much longer. Okay, and what's up with Tara? Is she in town? Sick? Having dreams too? I'll wait to find out. Thanks for the update and g'luck with the exams.



Yvonne

Edited by: onyxsundrops at: 5/15/04 2:02 pm

[wimpy0729]

Just loved it, although somewhat of a heartbreaker.



I can just feel the emptiness that's inside Willow. Now she's the one just going through the motions.



Buffy's thoughts and dreams are very interesting and raise more questions still.



And now to leave us with two ominous words from Dawn. You're so good at making us crave more!!!



So, more soon please!



Wimpy

[Arwen276]

wow, your fic is very interesting. I love the setting, the time frame, the whole 'prophetic dreams' and Willow's baggage!

I can't wait for more,



~Arwen

[Grimlock72]

Hmm... I do hope that Willow picks up some fat, near nil fat-level is also near fatal (yes, contrary to Hollywood's beliefs even woman NEED fat in their body ). As for Buffy not seeing that Willow wasn't ok, it's not as if she had all the mainy clues to go on. Willow can be very quiet.



I do sympathize with Willow being upset that her students hardly pay attention to her classes. She would really be better of giving such lectures on Sunnydale Uni. or another school outside Sunnydale. Leaving Sunnydale is always the healthy choice in my opinion . I guess Willow wants to stay in case Tara comes back but there are easier ways to ask Tara that. Phone, mail, e-mail... just waiting for years isn't going to do much good. Besides it's hard to see Willow so sad



Willow's not doing magic anymore... don't know if that will fix much if anything. As far as I can tell magic itself never was the problem, how it was used however... Granted, not doing magic at all does solve the 'how to use' problem, but it seems a bit overkill to me.



I actually care about Buffy in this fic, amazing. She just wants someone to share at least part of her life with. Faith seems the logical choice for that since she knows what goes on in B's life. Faith is in jail for a reason though, sure the body switching can be forgiven as no-one got permanently hurt then... killing that archeology-docter-person is another matter.



Feel free to post more updates



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Edited by: Grimlock72 at: 5/16/04 5:00 am

[DarkChild]

Hi. I really like what you've got so far. MORE!!!

[mollyig]

Hiya sapphocrazygirl



Glad you like the penguin. It's just an animated gif file I got off a website. I have a "slight obsession" with penguins.



Willow, naturally, was desolate when Tara left. She has schooled herself to get by in life, but not actually live. And may I say that it's about bloody time Buffy and Co. have noticed that this is not acceptable!



Thanks!

---

"Love is just like breathing when it's true" Indigo Girls

Edited by: mollyig  at: 5/18/04 6:46 am

[sapphocrazygirl]

Yvonne – lots of questions about Tara and Faith! As far as the assembled Scoobies know, Tara’s in L.A., living a relatively normal life. I’m assuming that her experience with Willow was really devastating and she doesn’t want anything to do with fighting evil for a while (especially since she’s not big with the swimming). The Scoobies don’t know about Faith, because everyone assumes that everyone else doesn’t want to hear from her. Buffy’s still thinking about Faith mostly on an unconscious level, so she hasn’t even begun considering where Faith might be. But that will be addressed in the next update.



Wimpy – “Going through the motions, trying to get off, nothing seems to be able to do the…” If you’ve never read “Once More, All Naked, All Gay,” I highly recommend it.



Arwen – thanks! More coming soon.



Grimmy – Willow’s gained some weight since the doctor’s report, so she’s not near-death. But she’s still not menstrating – as far as I know it does medically take a while for that to pick up. And there might be non-physical factors to this as well.



Willow (in my Buffyverse, anyway) never cites Tara as a reason not to leave Sunnydale, or not to practice magick. She’s just come up with other reasons over the past three years, or completely avoided discussing it at all. The Scoobies have let it go for the same reason that they let her going to Sunnydale U – it’s her choice, and secretly they all want to have her around.



Yeah, Willow’s complete avoidance of magick is definitely overkill. But she’s cutting off parts of herself in order to “deal” with Tara being gone.



I personally love Buffy, and want her to be the “best friend” that she really was in the earlier seasons. I think she has a lot of depth of emotion that eventually got tossed aside for angst and for other people on the show (not that they weren’t important too). There are of course plot reasons for Buffy on the show to become as isolated as she was. But I like the old Buffy.



As for Faith. Let’s just say I’ll be dealing with all, or at least some, of the questions about Faith in the next update.



DarkChild – you got it!



mollyig – You’ve really summed up Willow well. Hope this next update is fun for you!

---

"I got my axe, I got my honey...

I'd say all I need is a quiet room and some body lotion and I've got me a party!"

- Faith, in Torturing Touch

[sapphocrazygirl]

---------------------------------------------



Buffy didn’t say a word. Dawn looked at her anxiously, and watched the patterns of emotion flicker over her sister's face: confusion, puzzlement, realization, guilt, anger.



Of course it’s Tara, thought Buffy angrily to herself. Three years she’s been gone; three years of rain, where everyone has been believing that everything’s fine, going about their business, as if Willow had moved on.



Of course Dawn sees what’s going on; she went through the same thing. Dawn was closer to Tara than any of us, except Willow. Dawn went through those two months alongside Willow, though it was easier for her - even after those two pain-ridden months she could crawl into my bed and talk about how much she missed Tara. Willow never could.



Of course Willow’s ripping apart computers. No, actually, I still don’t get that bit. Buffy, stuck, finally looked to her sister.



“I had a dream,” Buffy said quietly, and Dawn nodded, pulled her feet up underneath her to listen better.



“It was raining. And you said, ‘Don’t you think she’d make it stop?’ And Willow was sitting in the middle of the road, ripping apart her laptop.”



Buffy looked away from her now. “Her eyes were black. And she said, ‘They can’t hurt me anymore.’ I don’t know.” Buffy stood now, paced, gestured. “I don’t know what it means.”



“Could it be a prophecy dream?” said Dawn, putting her feet back on the floor and looking up hopefully.



“Well sure, but of what? Willow’s gonna make it rain forever and kill all the computers in Sunnydale? It doesn’t make sense.”



“Oh.”



They were silent for a while.



“Sure it does,” said Dawn suddenly, looking up and waving her hands to explain. “I mean just as a dream, not as a prophecy. The rain is Willow crying. The computers are her future, which she tore up because she stayed here instead of going to Oxford like anyone who wasn’t hurting like hell would do. And the eyes – I guess, Tara left, and Willow stopped the magicks, but I think it still haunts her. I bet she still thinks about how powerful she is, every day.”



Buffy looked at Dawn in amazement.



“What?” said Dawn, a bit crossly. “You think you got all of the psychobabble talents in the Summers family?”



Buffy sat next to her sister, and pulled her into her arms. They sat there for a while, not speaking, not crying. Then Dawn exhaled and shifted slightly, and Buffy let go.



“I still don’t get the bit about ‘They can’t hurt me anymore,’” Buffy murmured.



“Maybe that part’s the prophecy? Big bad coming, it can’t get Willow?” Dawn shrugged.



“Can’t get her anymore. Vamps? Demons? Why couldn’t something attack her now?”



Dawn stood up. “I dunno. Maybe we should talk to Giles? Get in slayer-study mode?”



--------------------------------------------------------



Giles had listened attentively, murmured “Hm” a bit, and cleaned his glasses at Buffy’s reference to Tara. But he had agreed that Willow had not been herself for a long time, and that he would research residual effects of witchcraft – research anything, really, to help her. Willow was fortunately tied up in grading dancing-duck programs, and had declined the evening’s research fest – a little less sadly than usual, thought Buffy, though she could have been imagining it.



Buffy patrolled. As usual. The darkness comforted her, gave her something simple. Protect the good; kill the bad. But as much as she loved the simplicity of one night’s patrol, she wanted to be home with Willow, working everything out, talking to her, just being there for her like she should have been three years ago when Willow started walling herself up.



“Stupid Buffy,” she spoke out loud. She stomped through the graveyard. “Blah blah blah, I’m back from the dead, I’m not going to notice when my best friend is in severe pain, wah wah wah, I was just pulled out of heaven, I can’t handle this.” She wasn’t sure why she was so angry at her three-years-ago self. She understood – rationally even – that she had not been in a place to help Willow the way she needed to be helped. But her anger boiled anyway.



“Didn’t notice when she lost all that weight.” Buffy staked one vamp that had come up behind her.



“Didn’t think about how many jobs she refused,” she muttered as she pulled a second vamp from behind a masoleum and staked him as well.



“Didn’t pay attention when – “ and as she turned, something hit her across the chest.



Buffy stumbled backwards, startled, then immediately caught her footing. The vamp in front of her was tall, and strong. But he was just a vamp. She could take him.



She high kicked, expecting him to fall backwards. But he caught her foot in midair and twisted, sending her spinning horizontally. She tried to kick him, but only disoriented herself when she hit nothing, and she hit the ground on her right side. He kicked her stomach as she landed, sending her flying into a large tombstone. It was then that she realized she’d lost her stake. Her right hand went for the spare inside her left sleeve.



The vamp caught both her arms, pinned them above her head against the headstone. He was hurting her. She tried to push off with her knees, but one of his legs held her fiercely. She tried to throw him off, but he had the upper hand now, and she felt it.



I’m going to die.



I’m going to die.



In that moment she was tense, she was terrified, she shut down completely with fear.



Then suddenly Buffy relaxed.



I’m going to die.



And it will be okay.



Dawn will be okay. Xander and Anya and Giles, too. They’ll all be okay. They’re strong, they work hard. Another Slayer, someone younger and faster and stronger, could come to take her place, to fight the darkness for a few more years. And she could go back, back to that calm, that serenity that was haunting her of late. She remembered it – was it Heaven? – it had taken her so long, to let go of it, to start fighting death again, but she sensed now that it was time, again, to let go of life.



Everyone will be okay. Dawn and Xander and Giles and Willow –



Willow.



Willow would not be okay.



Buffy screamed, fought back. But the vamp was way ahead of her. Her two seconds of hesitation were going to cost the Slayer her life.



“Go ahead and scream,” he whispered as one pale hand jerked her head to one side, exposing her neck.



Buffy could feel the terror pounding in her blood. Do something, something for Willow, you have to live, Buffy…



You have to live, for Willow, you have to help her, you have to fight…



His teeth sank into her neck.



And then he dusted.



Buffy fell, landing in a jumble on the ground. She pulled her feet under her, squatted, then looked up.



Faith was standing above her, stake still in hand.



For a moment neither girl moved. Then Faith slowly dropped her hand, and she stuck the stake into her belt with an embarrassed gesture. She stepped back from Buffy, swinging her head slightly, bringing dark hair over her eyes. She bounced her shoulders slightly, sticking her hands in her pockets. She looked like a thirteen-year-old boy on his first date.



“Hey, B,” she said.



-------------------------------------

---

"I got my axe, I got my honey...

I'd say all I need is a quiet room and some body lotion and I've got me a party!"

- Faith, in Torturing Touch

[onyxsundrops]

Well, some things are a little clearer from Dawn's insightful 'psychobabble'. Although Buffy's conflicting emotions toward Tara were sort of out-of-the-blue at first, I can understand why she'd feel that way. She resents the fact that Tara left and she was left with an unstable Willow. While reading, I thought she saw Willow as an obligation. You know, a stay in and take care of the crazy friend sort of thing. But I don't think she's really upset, I think she sees Willow as a way of atoning for her neglect as a friend.



And Faith. So many questions, but I'm sure we'll find out what happened to her. I'm wondering if you're going to show/tell a little from Tara's POV? I, for one, am curious to know what she's been up to. I'm sure she hasn't been exactly 'Mary Poppins'-like, but I'm wondering what the break-up did to her. Anyway, wonderful update.





Yvonne

[mollyig]

Glad Buffy confided in Dawn, who was very insightful, instead of being all lone-wolf slayer type girl. I also thought it interesting that the thought of Willow helped her to resist the vampire. She realises now, albeit a bit late, that she did not give Willow the support she needed, and deserved for the many years of loyal friendship.



I wonder how Faith will explain her presence in Sunnydale.



Thanks for this.

---

"Love is just like breathing when it's true" Indigo Girls

[veiled isis moon]

Glad to be of assistance. It's cool that my ideas were unconsciously adapted into the update.



I love the way you explain the dreams. I think writing dream scenes can be extremely hard because the reader can't always pick up on what the writer is trying to show them, but you seem to have a talent for them. I had no problems imagining the dreams were taking place, they were detailed and seemed believable.



I wonder what's going on with Tara. Has she got in touch with Dawn? Has something happened? Update soon please cos i'm really curious!



Michellex

[Arwen276]

okay I'm going to make a weird statement here: I like Buffy, she's very rational and mature at this point of your fic.

I also think Dawn is coming along nicely, and it's nice to see they all care so deeply for Willow (we weren't feeling the love much in the last 2 seasons of the show!)

It's interesting to see how Buffy feels towards Willow, how she must live to help her. Willow of all ppl, I mean she could have lived for Dawn couldn't she?



Good thing that Faith was there! I wonder what'll happen next, more please??



~Arwen

Hear That Baby? You're My Always... Willow