Okay, Washi, you wanted feedback - you get it. Tee hee.
I like the way you describe things, such as,“Willow sat unmoving by her window, sitting in a plush armchair. The moonlight was dancing on her face, making her already-pale skin seem deathly-white. Her face was upturned, watching the Tara-constellations twinkling merrily in the sky, mocking her misery.”
It really gives me a great visual image and puts me into the scene. I also like how you have Willow refer to herself as “Rosenberg” in her thoughts - I do the same thing in my fic.
I really like your Willow characterization...not sure about your Dawn characterization in Chapter 2 - I think you have her being way more verbose than she would normally be. However, I love the fact that you hone in on how Willow had to take charge when Buffy was gone - the gang has always taken for granted that the weight of the world falls on either Buffy or Willow’s shoulders and I like how you focus on that.
Love the inner Buffy dialogue in chap 3. Love the Buffy getting jealous over the Dawn/Willow dynamic - it indicates that she’s beginning to feel again.
Great tension in chapter 5 - I felt like I was at the scene.
In chapter 6, this line sort of jumped out at me: “I just remembered, Willow and I, we have Power of Attorney. It’s in our files. Can I please see her?” If this line is Tara bamboozling the doctor to get in to see Willow, I really like the line, but I would find it extraordinary if they really did have each other’s power of attorney, plus the power of attorney issue would become complicated once Willow’s parents arrived on scene. But, if it’s a ruse, than smart Tara - go!
Chapter 7 - very high rating on the cuteness scale - enjoyed the babble and the interaction between W and T.
Love the jealousy back-and-forth in Chapter 8. “My girl - hands off.” *Snickers* Priceless. Should probably be a bit more Tara-stutter in the chapter though - the hospital scene is bound to make her somewhat nervous. Love the Giles characterization though!
“Willow was terrified.” - great line.
"I want to write a will, in case anything should happen.” We talked about this on-line Washi...again, I find it a bit strange that a 20-year-old wants to write a will because most 20-year-olds don’t have anything, but I think it’s very touching that Willow wants to have Tara provided for - it indicates a very deep emotional connection.
"I know you're sorry Willow. And we'll make up for the lost time. We have forever, right?" Tara asked, looking hopefully into Willow's pale green eyes, begging her to not contradict her. - that’s a great interaction.
“She had thought of it already. Of using black magics to heal her lover. But, if she did that, she would go against all that she had learned. And she would make a big mistake. Dark magics had already separated Willow and her once, and she wouldn't let it do it a second time. But if the last solution was using dark magics or losing Willow, would there even be a choice to make? Tara knew that at her last straw she would use dark magic, consequences be damned. But she was afraid that it would come to that.
She hoped with all her being that Giles' friend Ruth would find something magical for Willow. She prayed for it as she watched her lover sleep.”
I really like this piece of inner monologue - you are getting Tara to truly understand some of the underlying motivations for Willow’s raising of Buffy and her manipulation of Tara. In order to truly get back together and move on, they really need to understand where each other is coming from.
I’m really looking forward to where this is going. I’m assuming that in order for Willow to get over the potassium drain, she is going to start having to use magic, which will cause a strain on her and Tara’s relationship. It’ll be interesting to see how you deal with that - I think it really is important for Willow to use magic - it’s a part of her and an incredibly powerful part of her, but she needs to be centered in herself to do it again - not on Tara, but on herself. Anyway...I think this sufficiently fulfills my feedback quota
Your turn to leave more feedback for my fic - haha!
Amazonchyck
sorry for OT....
Hey Washi, I'm about to OD on angst here! 
Washi 
,
had another attack already? 
it was a small one but those small ones are just as dangerous as the big ones. 
contimplating the use of dark magic? 
This is not good. 
I hope that Giles' friend Ruth can help 
:falower 
at: 12/6/03 6:03 pm
GO 
Poor Anya, has to run from the evil evil bunnies. 
I hate the idea of Willow and Tara in pain 