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Relinquished Symmetry

Willow and Tara live happy together in a place untouched by Mutant Enemy. This is a forum for Willow and Tara Fan Fiction (i.e. fan fiction, top 10s, etc...) Please read the content advisories on individual stories, read at your own discretion.

Part 5

Postby hermitfish » Wed Oct 27, 2004 8:33 am

Quick Note: This part has a cliffhangery like end...I should/would say I'm sorry but I'm not

(ducking the rotten produce now)



PART 5

She wiped the bathroom mirror with a paper towel.It was still wrong…something was still wrong.She sprayed the cleaner over the reflective surface and scrubbed harder with the towel.A woman with chocolate brown hair and light brown eyes watched first with amusement then with concern as the redhead cleaned the same mirror for the third time.

“Boss?The anal retentive society called…your award will be shipped in five to seven business days."

Willow missed the boat on that wisecrack.Heck, she missed the pier.She dropped the soggy cloth onto a growing stack on the floor.Then, she sprayed another round of ammonia based fluid onto the mirror and picked up another cloth to wipe it off.A slender hand fashioned with an expensive opal pinkie ring and well-manicured nails fluttered in front of her unresponsive face.

“Enough…what’s going on?” Green eyes became aware of the newcomer and she limply lowered her hand into her lap.“Bela, she’s back.”

“Who’s back?” Isabel questioned as her eyes narrowed.“You mean?The bang on the drums and cue the spotlight girl?” A slight Italian accent did little to hide the disbelieving tone of her voice.An empty place where a reply should have been answered her much more morosely than any word Willow could have chosen.

“Oh, honey what happened?What did you say?” Warmth and worry poured from her voice.

“She appeared with Xander last night.They have a noon appointment today.”The voice faltered.Her strength seemed weakened...her confidence appeared shaken.Isabel briefly remembered one other time her boss acted this way and that was the night she almost spent eternity trying to forget.

“How do you want to play it?” she asked, physically shaking off some of the residual horror.“I can sit in your lap and play the pretty puppy.”

Willow’s eyes blazed and a small grin almost fought its way onto the playing ground of her face before it seeped back into its maker.“Let’s stay straight faced, Bela.”

“Honey, I’m always straight faced.Endeavors of the non-straight variety are more your cup of tea.Or so I’ve been told.All the detection equipment in your lab hasn’t answered that one for me.” Isabel shrugged and gave a four star smile.

“Are you gonna change out of your jammies?It’s closer to noon than not.” Willow sighed and nodded.Then she spent the next minute staring at the mirror.

Isabel pestered her off the sink counter and, to her perverse internal amusement, into the closet.She picked out professional attire with a touch of sexiness and handed the garments to her still lagging counterpart.“Clothes.Wear.Now,” she monosyllabically ordered.“I’m going to make my special cuppa joe and you better be ready when I get back.”

Willow dressed and then promptly returned to the bathroom mirror.She stared for a minute before spraying cleaner on it again.She grabbed a handtowel from the rack and pressed hard on the surface, the glass cracked vertically in half under the stress.“That’s better,” she cooed.“All better.”

-------------------------------------------

If the greeting room was the equivalent of a white sale down at the psychiatric ward, Willow’s office was the dark incarnate of some medieval armory.The walls and ceiling were painted black and weapons of all types hung from the walls.It curiously reminded Tara of her illegally decored dorm room.Except that old dorm room had a large window…and, oh yeah, no creepy red lighting from scone fixtures on the walls.

Xander and Tara’s entrance had been just as strange as the previous day.The front doors opened automatically this time and they were informed to go into the office and wait.Xander sat playing a bowling game on his cell phone, ignoring the darkness.Tara could do nothing but feel its all-consuming nature.

“So have you ever, you know, been in there?” She motioned at the doors to the lab.

“Nope, I don’t think anyone’s been in the lab other than her staff.I don’t think she lets anyone upstairs where she lives…except for the ‘assistant’.”He added quotes around the last word.Along with a lecherous grin that almost immediately turned apologetic as he realized how his words would hurt Tara.She dismissed his worry with kindness but it really didn’t make either one of them feel any better.

The noon chime sounded and Isabel cracked the door to the lab, not gracing the room with her presence.“Lights,” she ordered as she unnecessarily twirled her hand.Soft overhead fluorescent panels came to life.Satisfied with the look of the room and after a quick, but hard glance at the blonde, Isabel went back to the lab.

“Boss…midday meeting,” she informed the redhead.They both knew the computer genius was hyperaware of the time.Greenwich could align with her internal clock.“Would you like me to cancel the meeting?”

“No,” she squeaked.Her jaw tightened, disgusted at her own tone.“No,” she responded again with an icy firmness.She grabbed a folder and became the what that could face that room.Or, more importantly, could face who was in that room.

The sharp click-clack of two sets of heels brought Tara’s attention to the door as it opened again.The first set were tall black stilettos that supported an olive skinned beauty with dark features.Her dress was small, black, and high fashion.Certainly some New York label the blonde would never remember or identify on sight.It fit skin tight like a neoprene glove.

The second set of heels were more modest…some sort of black strappy number that crisscrossed a couple of inches above the ankle.Black silk pants ran about three-quarters of the way down creamy white legs.A green, sleeveless Chinese style shirt with golden dragons skimpily covered the remainder of her lithe body. Her eyes drifted up to a face long burned into her memory.

Even if her skin was a couple of shades pale…
Probably staying inside too much
.Her eyes were slightly puffy and faintly circled.
Too many hours working in front of her computer.
She liked the sleek red bob of hair with razor fine ends.Familiar and sexy.Tara pursed her mouth tightly to trap a tongue that was desperate to lick her dry lips.

“Hey boss…what’s the word?” Xander asked when he registered his old friend’s presence.

“Inconclusive,” the scientist remarked as she pushed the folder to the clown-hating boy. “Vampires didn’t attempt this spell.You’re looking for a slightly more elevated evil…something with the firepower to conjure a Herotaus.”

“A soul conduit demon?There’s only a handful of things that could control one of those,” Tara answered with a touch of surprise.

“Maybe a couple of handfuls,” Willow shrugged, acknowledging Tara’s presence for the first time. A Ginsu cleaver on steroids couldn’t cut the tension.

So Isabel tried by pulling out a chair for her boss…presenting and caressing it like a naughty Barker’s Beauty from The Price is Right. Willow turned and smirked at her with her back away from the guests.Xander gaped and Tara simply bit her lip and looked away.


Tension forgotten…mission accomplished,
Isabel thought with a hidden smile.Willow took the seat and resisted the brow furrow that disapproved of her assistant’s catty behavior.

“What’s a soul conduit demon?”Xander asked as he looked between the two former lovers.“I mean I know a conduit…from construction is a duct for wiring.Somehow I don’t think whoever cast that spell wanted to upgrade their electricity.”

“Herotaus is a collector demon trapped in a decayed dimension.A higher demon would summon him to gather souls for rituals or revenge.Summoner gets a soul…Herotaus gets a corpse to munch,” Tara supplied, remembering the information from some archaic book she had skimmed before.

Willow raised an impressed eyebrow and nodded.“Mutual relationship…and while it requires an immense amount of power to summon Herotaus, it is rather easy to control it once it’s established on the mortal plane.” Willow punched up a couple of commands on her keyboard and a large monitor to the left of the Scoobies lit up with a picture of the monster.

“Aim for the neck or middle thorax for the kill.”She gestured at the picture with a hand-held laser pointer.“The monster should be slayed prior to the summoning party because without someone guiding its actions the demon becomes a bit of a reckless killing machine.”

“And that would be bad,” Xander concluded by stating the obvious.“So we patrol tonight?”

“Yes, all of this is in the file…including a few likely locations that match up to its known habitat.” Xander assented and began a text message to Buffy and the gang about tonight’s plans.

Tara slightly frowned as she observed the indifferent professional behavior of her ex-lover.Every movement seemed prechoreographed…precisely timed for maximum efficiency.
Where’s her airiness?Her babble?Did I cause this?I never meant to hurt you.


Willow looked up from her monitor and met blue worried eyes.She stared…and waited.“Your information?” she finally asked.

“Um…oh…yes,” she replied clumsily, averting her eyes and sifting quickly through her reading materials.“I xeroxed it…Wesley would shriek his little head off if I lost a volume of World Book’s creature feature edition.”

“That sissy ex-watcher?” Xander guffawed as he closed his phone.

Willow was also intrigued by the notion that Mr. Wyndam-Pryce was an associate of her ex-girlfriend.She refrained from commenting, however.

“He’s, um, 70% less prissy now?” she replied as if weighing the percentage in her head for accuracy.


She’s seems so bold…comfortable.Happy?
The redhead shut her lids and took an exaggerated inhalation.
Maybe leaving me was the best thing that ever happened to her.
The ambivalence she felt from that statement provided a clear answer to an avoided internal question.She wanted to snarl…scream.Instead, she handed the papers to Isabel and instructed her to take them to the library.

“You will have my theories on your analysis by midnight.”Willow stood and effectively adjourned further discussion by pointing her body towards the lab and walking away.

Tara felt a breaking point as she watched two best friends drift towards opposite doors and opposite lives.“Wait.”They both came to a halt.She approached her ex-lover with the graceful, cautious gait.“Willow?”

She turned, brittled with surprise.No one had called her that in years.She was Boss…she was Scarlet…she was
not
Willow.Still…she had her strength and her pride.“Yes?”

“I’m sorry.”It seemed like a bare platitude but she put every ounce of her heart’s regret and sorrow into the little statement.

“Forgotten,”the redhead croaked out in a whisper.Stillness followed.

“Will?” the blonde breathed lowly, reaching out to Willow’s right wrist.As her fingers made contact with smooth white skin, there was an intense surge.She flew backwards and landed several feet away on the floor, hitting with a painful thud.The last thought Tara had before the darkness claimed her was what she felt in that touch…and what she didn’t.





I don't care if you're drunk on me
Or only just someone else's fantasy
~C. Dezen
hermitfish
 


Re: Part 5

Postby photographer02 » Wed Oct 27, 2004 9:42 am

hmm...a very interesting story...will there be a happy ending? *hmmm*



Please continue!



photographer02

photographer02
 


What?!?!

Postby serendipitous » Wed Oct 27, 2004 9:43 am

How is it that I'm always attracted to the fics filled with huge amounts of angst and cliffhangers! I am completely hooked and I'm excited to find out what caused Tara to black out like that. Good, bad? :shock And Willow needs to live and let live. The hardest thing to do in life is to forgive, but without that ability, you are doomed to live a life constantly filled with "what ifs" and anger. But, I'm sure that Tara can break through that tough exterior with a little patience and her natural charm. ;) A great piece of writing here and I hope that you update soon! :peace

serendipitous
 


Re: What?!?!

Postby alysagoddess85 » Wed Oct 27, 2004 10:00 am

wow...i definately am not liking this willow...she seems wwwaaayyy too cold and disconnected...its quite depressing. and reading that you could practically feel the tension between the 2 of them...and the fact that xander seems oblivious to it almost makes it worse! i guess seeing that the best friends no longer even refer to each other by their names is a litle disheartening. but i trust that somehow theyll be able to move on and hopefully get willow out of this bitch-funk that shes in. excellent job!



~mel:kdevil

'The Cat in the Hat' is fine, just not during sex.--Alyson Hannigan

alysagoddess85
 


Re: What?!?!

Postby silentinformer » Wed Oct 27, 2004 3:28 pm

I really get this Willow, she is only protecting herself from being hurt again. The whole "surge" thing has me thinking that it was just an effect of their natural magic they have with one another, and possibly its buildup over time. Does that make any sense? :confused If it doesn't i firmly believe its my Lit professors fault. Hopefully we see more soon. :pray

silentinformer
 


Re: Part 5

Postby tarawhipped » Wed Oct 27, 2004 6:37 pm

Oh, wow, Cyd! I'll try to keep my feedback briefer than the actual update, but it's SO hard, cause this was frickin' great!
Quote:
Isabel briefly remembered one other time her boss acted this way and that was the night she almost spent eternity trying to forget.
This has me very curious...my first instinct is that Willow prevented a vamp from attacking Bela. The two clearly have not only a more friendly realtionship than Willow has with any of the Scoobies, but also a less formal one, since Bela seems pretty at ease teasing her boss (and being protective of her). I have a suspicion based on several possible clues in here, but I'm not gonna voice it just yet in case A: I'm wrong (and look like a dumbass) or B: it's a surprise (and I ruin it).
Quote:
the glass cracked vertically in half under the stress. “That’s better,” she cooed. “All better.”
Now THAT fucking creeped me out. And cliffhangery goodness! No rotten produce...just nail-biting and clockwatching until the next update (and I really want to find out if I'm right:glasses ). Pleeeeaaaassssseee don't keep us waiting too long!



:peace -Cameron



What should I be but just what I am? - Edna St.Vincent Millay

tarawhipped
 


Re: Part 5

Postby WintersDreamer » Wed Oct 27, 2004 6:57 pm

( Sigh )



Let me guess. Before any writer is able to post on this board, they are made to sign, in blood (or any other sufficiently icky fluid) that they must end each installment in a cliffhanger. The more agonising (for the reader) the better.



Congratulations! You have just fulfilled your contractual obligations.



:p



But seriously, great story, great premise. Looking forward to seeing what happened to Willow the night Isabel doesn't want to remember, and just who (or what) is Isabel ?

I'm thinking ( run now ) that the thing with mirror is Willow trying to reassure herself she won't break down *again* or a severe mental split. ( shrug )

It will be interesting to see what Tara did feel or didn't feel and how Willow handles injuring Tara, hhhhhmmmm or maybe that's why Willow has isolated herself . :hmm



Anywho.... PLEASE ( much groveling ) update soon ?!?!?!



:read



tarawhipped

" a fiends goddaughter" ?

Edited by: WintersDreamer at: 10/27/04 6:04 pm
WintersDreamer
 


rugs

Postby MissKittys Ball O Yarn » Thu Oct 28, 2004 7:57 am

This story is so intriguing...Im actually starting to enjoy the fact that Willow is so cold and distant toward the scoobies...(at first I was all... creeped out by it) But now I think it will make for better fireworks when Tara finally gets her to loosen up and admit her feelings. It is so obvious that Willow is denying the fact that she cares anything about anyone, (excluding her assistant of course.) And whats with the blow you across the room power? I cant wait to see what happens next.



xoxo

Emms

MissKittys Ball O Yarn
 


Re: rugs

Postby DeviCrystalseeker » Thu Oct 28, 2004 8:39 am

Quote:
The last thought Tara had before the darkness claimed her was what she felt in that touch…and what she didn’t.




What she didn't? Eeep, don't say the soul-sucker demon has gotten our redhead! :shock



Interesting fic. :)

DeviCrystalseeker
 


Re: rugs

Postby cnd1us » Thu Oct 28, 2004 9:37 pm

woah...what the hell was that?! ok this is a great story love it. was it willow that made tara fly like that or was it all the darkness and loneliness she has in her what is going on with our willow.. and what is this bela chick all about with the whole flauting thing all over willow especially in front of tara. can't wait till the next update. soon i hope.



cassie (cnd1us)

cnd1us
 


Seriously...I'm in awe here...

Postby hermitfish » Fri Oct 29, 2004 11:57 am

Wow...I'm absolutely floored by the response...I send my very humble thanks.



photographer02: Welcome to this little angst filled tugboat...off in the distance there is a happy port calling but it's still too far away to see at the moment. Hopefully the journey getting there will be just as worthwhile as the start...thanks.





serendipitous: Welcome also...I know exactly what you mean by getting sucked into angsty fics. I don't expect too many other cliffhangers so maybe that can bring some solace.



alysagoddess85: I know it's uber depressing at the moment but I will start working on that soon...



Quote:
and the fact that xander seems oblivious to it almost makes it worse! i guess seeing that the best friends no longer even refer to each other by their names is a litle disheartening


I think it's more of a case that he's just respecting her wishes...as disheartening as they are.



By the way...'bitch-funk' just made me laugh for some reason :)



silentinformer: Hello and I totally get what you were saying. That's an interesting thought on the surge...of course you know I'm gonna have to be tight lipped on the plot type things.:sh



tarawhipped: Cameron, I love how you pour the praise on.:) Isabel is a necessary character in my mind (for a number of reasons) but particularly to help me better describe Willow because I, up to this point, have spent little time reflecting anything from Willow's pov. The mirror scene was very disturbing to me...it made me so uncomfortable that I almost took the big red marker to it. In the end (and after a consult with a lurking follower/bestest friend...thanks btw), I decided that it accomplished what I was looking for without going too far.



WintersDreamer: Welcome...I don't remember a bloodletting contract ritual but I hope it is in blood because I don't want to think of what kind of icky fluid it would be if my rating was higher than R (yikes). I like your thoughts and I'm not running off...in fact I enjoy theory and conjecture, so feel free. I am planning on addressing your topics/questions eventually...so I hope I do an adequate job when the time comes. And you don't have to grovel...unless you like being on your knees.:wink



MissKittys Ball O Yarn: Hey...not a cuddly Willow at all and she makes herself very dislikable...I'm pleased that you're holding out hope though. Thanks for reading.



DeviCrystalseeker: I'll see your eeep and raise you a WTF. :) Thanks for the praise.



cnd1us: You ask many good question grasshopper...I shall do my best in exploring them.





I just finished a really long, really intensive paper and am a little screen weary but I will try to play around with part six today. So far very little of it has reached cosmic paper. I am not going to name a day I think it will be done (cause I hate breaking promises) but the continued enthusiasm from everyone has been a real big help in chaining me to the keyboard.

~Cyd










Well I know you've made a practice out of closing all your doors

Promise me you'll open every window

~Posies

hermitfish
 


Part 6

Postby hermitfish » Wed Nov 03, 2004 7:58 am

Here we go....



Relinquished Symmetry





Disclaimer:
Many rich people own BTVS and its characters…I am not one of them.


Rating:
R


Author’s Notes:
This storyline takes everything up to halfway through New Moon Rising as the gospel.I have made a BIG change that may make some kittens ‘thwack’ me with a shovel…or, more appropriately, a sledgehammer.Also, some of the dynamics of Angel have been altered to suit me.This is an angsty piece.


Addt’l note:
A few pieces of dialogue come from the show (This Year’s Girl, NMR, Fear Itself, etc.).


Feedback:
Of any sorts…sure.On the board is fine.No posting elsewhere without my consent.

PART 6

Xander stood in utter disbelief for the first time in a long while since becoming a Scooby.He had seen countless scenes of unimaginable death and ickiness.He had been part of the team that struck down the vampires, demons, and hellgods of the world for years.He had even listened attentively to Anya’s epic tales of evisceration.These things had become normal…he was unflinchable.

This was different.Nothing had brought him to a stand still quite like watching his best friend on the whole planet send the woman of her dreams rocketing five feet in the air.The overhead lights crackled and blew in a mass of sparks leaving the room dimly red.

“Tara!” he finally cried as rushed to her side.“What the hell?”

“Jesus…what was that?” Bela exclaimed as she reentered the office.The blonde was limply reclined in the grip of their associate.Her boss was kneeling a safe distance away but looking intent.“She touched you?”

Willow nodded plainly.“Check on her.”

Bela reached for a pulse and found it strong and unwaivering.Her breathing was steady as well.

“Check her hand,” the redhead instructed.The brunette turned her right hand palm up to find her middle and index fingers burned.Willow vaulted upright and retrieved the first aid kit with a purposeful vigor.She placed it on the floor and nudged it next to Bela with her foot, taking a large step backwards after the process.

“It’s only first degree,” her assistant mentioned as she applied a soothing cream to the damaged area.

“Great…maybe you can spit on her and it will turn to acid for more blistery goodness.Are you going to explain that?” Xander questioned with protectiveness not aimed at the redhead.

“Not now,” she replied, giving him a look that said the discussion was over.“Take her to the hospital.”

Blue eyes flutter opened and a muddled noise filled the air.“Mmmngh,” she moaned as she tried to sit up.

“Whoa, wonder girl,” Xander started as he pressed her shoulder back to the floor.“Why don’t you stay down for a sec?”

“Take her to the hospital, Bela.Now.”Willow’s tone bordered on manic as she paced to within a couple of feet of the blonde and then quickly backpedaled.

“Why in the hell do you think I’m gonna let you or your lackey take her anywhere?”

“Fine,” the redhead ground out as she marched back to her laptop and entered a few commands.“An ambulance is on its way.”

“What…? Why…?” Tara murmured, as her eyes grew heavy once more.She slipped back into a fog without an answer.

-------------------------------------------

The smell was acrid, sterile, and all too familiar.
Hospital.
How an institution of such healing and reverence could make her feel so small and empty was never in question.Why she was here was…for a brief instance at least.

“Willow?” she murmured.Goddess that had been…intense…utterly heartbreaking.Tara tried to rise from the white linen bed, instigating a nauseous reaction from deep within her body.

“Hey there, lie still,” a distinctly British voice softly spoke from the corner of the room.

“Wes?” she groggily asked as she cautiously turned on her side and clutched her stomach gingerly.

The gentleman stood with a barely imperceptible uncomfortable chair grimace before moving to the bedside table and pouring a cup of water.

She sat up and accepted the cup, sipping the contents slowly.

“Can I assume your return didn’t go over well?”

“It’s been a real peach so far,” she wryly replied.She put the cup down and sighed.“I thought I had prepared myself but this…”

“Xander was a little unclear on what exactly happened,” he ventured, running a hand through his ragged hair.He had arrived midafternoon after a long drive, only to be informed of the day’s events when the young man answered Tara’s cell phone.

“I don’t know…” Tara started…
her anymore
, her mind finished.She pulled her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees.“Can we get out of here?”

“Of course.I’ll go make the arrangements.”

Tara got to her feet and dressed, discovering her nausea was stemming more from a deep feeling of dread than anything else.


How did I not notice?I sat in that office with her for twenty minutes…and I didn’t even realize something so basal.


“Where to?” Wes asked as he returned to the room a few minutes later with forms to sign.

“Buffy’s…I want answers,” she said as she scrawled her name on the paper.She looked closer at the clipboard.“Paid in full?When did we get money?”

“We didn’t,” he replied.

-----------------------------------------------

Willow’s mind was an endless mystery.She could remember the exact color of her first formal dress from twenty odd years ago.She could diagram fifty chemical reactions right off the top of her head.She could remember the last thing she said,




“No, no, it's okay. You-you should be with your friends, and, and I-I should go.”




And go she did.

These things were no surprise, not now.What surprised her was how easy it was to forget fear.Too easy to forget such a raw, primal thing.

She had so little to fear lately; she was safe as houses.Houses with really fancy biometric security systems.

She still remembered times of fear…




She started across the campus green with an enthusiastic hop that turned into a world record flight over the cobbled path, thrusting open the side entrance door and taking the steps in leaps of two.She twisted the knob of Tara’s room and found it locked.That was funny…she should have been back from class.Maybe she stopped for dinner.Willow rubbed her hands together and smiled.A surprise!

She pulled her keys from her jean pocket and opened the door.The world stopped.It stopped until the keys slipped from limp fingers and hit the wood floor with a clatter.Then it resumed.

The desk, bureau, and closet were open and empty.The bookshelves were uncluttered, showing only traces of dust where books and knickknacks once sat.Posters still hung on the walls and the curtains were drawn.The bed was dressed and fully made.The fairy lights had come undone from a hook high on the wall and were drooping on the floor.

Her stomach dropped; her heart stopped even as her breathing became panic filled laborious inhalations.

“Not again,” a voice uttered.It sounded so scared…was it hers?

She moved the desk chair over to the wall and rehung the lights.She slipped off her shoes and crawled under the covers.It smelled richly of the blonde.

“It can’t happen again.”

--------------------------------------------


It had been three days since Tara left town.Her computer hacking had yielded no results.But she would find her tonight.Her Tara.All she had to do is track her down and tell her things that should have already been said.Tara herself would help…Tara and a little twinkly light.

“Aradia, Goddess of the lost, the path is murky, the woods are dense, darkness pervades, I beseech thee, bring the light.”

She opened her eyes and furrowed her brow.She chanted the spell again.

Nothing.No flicker or flare.No power.No focus. No center.Nothing.




And there were other nights.Nights where sweat and tears merged on a bed that once held two in a room that now held little.Nights where whimpers were louder than screams and the only voice to hear is the only one not speaking.

These were memories…let them rest.

This new fear was texturally thick, covering her layer upon layer.She wanted to shower - scratch and scrub until it peeled off in sheets.

Why did it linger?She had eyes.They told her Tara was walking, talking, and perfectly able.The fear should be gone now.

She was her mother’s daughter.She paid all the bills.Paid them all in full and on time.They would have no worry…and no fear.Cause worry leads to fear.It would be okay.All better.Nothing to see here.Fear you may depart.

She closed the program that hacked into the security cameras at the hospital.They had left the building.It was over.Why was there still fear?





With a binding like you've got, people are going to want to know what's in the book.~Gene Kelly in
An American in Paris (1951)


ETA: Forgot disclaimer on new page

Edited by: hermitfish at: 11/3/04 6:44 pm
hermitfish
 


......

Postby MissKittys Ball O Yarn » Wed Nov 03, 2004 9:08 am

:sob :sob :cry *sniff sniff* :cry :sob :cry *sniff sniff * *dramatically* Why!? :sob why!? :cry :sob *sniff sniff* *the sound of nose being blown into Kleenex* *sniff sniff* :sob :cry :cry



Need I say more? wonderful update... as always I await patiently for the next installment.



xoxo

Emms



In the future there will be a revolutionary technology that will enable us to turn into fishes at will -- Me

MissKittys Ball O Yarn
 


Re: ......

Postby photographer02 » Wed Nov 03, 2004 9:38 am

Read the latest update...I felt somehow sad....:sob

But...good update...hopefully things will work out fine...somehow....

please continue?



photographer02

photographer02
 


Re: ......

Postby alysagoddess85 » Wed Nov 03, 2004 11:16 am

yea im with tara in the needing answers bit...thats just wrong..im seriously disliking your willow...i can understand how hurt she wouldve been after being left by yet another person...but to be so cold...so distant...so angry that no one can even touch her!! thats insane!! so onward with answers!! im sick of being all depressed!!



~mel:kdevil

'The Cat in the Hat' is fine, just not during sex.--Alyson Hannigan

alysagoddess85
 


Re: ......

Postby ladydameon » Wed Nov 03, 2004 1:57 pm

Loving the story....



I don't believe the shock, the burns, the tossing of Tara across the room was intentional....There's something more to this Willow - just as advanced and powerful as her lab and maybe a hell of a lot more primal. It has to be hard to love someone so intense and to believe you love them completely only to see them disappear without a word, without a trace. And to have that happen twice? It makes you think there is something wrong with you, something that you did. And that makes you afraid of yourself, afraid for others if not simply afraid. I'm kinda surprised none of her friends picked up on the similarity of Oz and Tara. You would think they would ask questions. You would think they would help Willow. Not necessarily to find Tara, but to help Willow find herself, find her balance.....



This is beautiful and richly complex. There is no one guilty party. Each side has to agree to meet in the middle but first someone has to offer to meet half way....



ladydameon

-----------------

Goddess of Violence

ladydameon
 


loving it

Postby janedoe » Wed Nov 03, 2004 6:24 pm

I am loving this story- how you present a new cold, distant Willow we have never seen before and then slowly letting us in on the raw and powerful emotions that still lie inside her. I especially enjoyed the mirror scene- when it cracks, the tone is so painful for me- just a brilliant job. Thank you.

janedoe
 


Re: Part 6

Postby tarawhipped » Wed Nov 03, 2004 8:51 pm

So, was Willow wearing fuzzy bunny slippers, coz that was a really big jolt of static electricity.:p Seriously though, that's quite a defense mechanism she's acquired. Bela recognized what happened, so presumably it wasn't just because of Tara, but perhaps it was more intense/less controlled than previously (on account of Willow's emotional state)? I hope you get to the exposition of what Tara felt/didn't feel soon...interesting that Tara thinks she should have noticed sooner...:hmm ...so perhaps Tara thought their 'relinquished symmetry' was due to the time apart, but now knows it's somehing physically different about Wilow? Am I totally talking out of my ass here?



I liked Xander's reaction a lot, too--lashing out at Willow. It seemed out of place at first for the way you've written him as bowing and scraping to the 'boss.' When I reread it, though, it seemed like his anger could be seen as directed not so much at what Willow did, as with what she's become, and the frustration at how clearly their own relationship has changed.



And finally, I assume it was Wesley Tara called that first day? Coz that brings up a whole new set of questions, like what do the L.A. crew know about Willow and her work, and was Tara sent there to find out something specific or just let Buffy know about the latest Big Bad? Just looking back at Chapter 1, Tara's thinking how she never thought she'd come back to Sunnydale, and how awkward it would be if she saw Willow, not when.



Can't wait for more, Cyd--it just keeps getting better and better. And now that they have that first awkward meeting out of the way it's time for coffee, kisses, and gay love, right? Or perhaps even more awkward meeting number two. *sigh*



:peace -Cameron



What should I be but just what I am? - Edna St.Vincent Millay

Edited by: tarawhipped at: 11/3/04 7:53 pm
tarawhipped
 


Part 6 replies

Postby hermitfish » Wed Nov 10, 2004 11:17 am

I have a few minutes to goof off so I thought I would respond to replies...



MissKittys Ball O Yarn: Please don't cry ...cause then I'll start to cry in some universal chain reaction thingy. And if a massive wave of tears starts rolling around here, I'm gonna have to shell out for some chocolate amends prezzies.:)



photographer02: Oh no...don't you start crying too. And of course I will continue cause I can't leave all the good kitties in some sort of crying limbo.



alysagoddess85: Just the fact that you're staying with this story despite your disdain for this Willow is telling...and I thank you for it.



ladydameon: I could quote and talk about your whole response because you said such meaningful things. Wonderful readers here. :)



Quote:
It has to be hard to love someone so intense and to believe you love them completely only to see them disappear without a word, without a trace.


Yes...I've always thought of Willow person who pursues all things in her life very intensely, very passionately. Sometimes that is a wonderful gift and sometimes it is such a hard burden to overcome within oneself.

Quote:
You would think they would ask questions. You would think they would help Willow. Not necessarily to find Tara, but to help Willow find herself, find her balance.....


Helping requires two parties and Willow's in a place that she hasn't wanted to get out of...and the need to find balance - link my title to one of the themes why dontcha.:)

Quote:
This is beautiful and richly complex.


You know I'm blushing now...stroking my ego with an extremely nice thing to say. My sincerest thanks.



janedoe: Hello and welcome...a rediscovery of dormant emotions is indeed in progress. I'm glad you liked the mirror scene...I thought it was painful too.



tarawhipped: Well...we do know that bunnies are evil but, alas, it was not static electricity.:P Yes, Bela quickly guessed what happened. Did Willow warn her previously about the possibility or had she seen it before? Hmmm...anyway, I do plan to continue answering what she felt/didn't type thing in the next bit and I'll also address how Wes and Tara came to be working together. You're another follower trying to tie in the title I see...I'm gonna be over here being quiet now. As for Xander's reaction, it has last straw syndrome written all over it...his frustration at her actions and estrangement compounded into a mini blowup.



Quote:
And now that they have that first awkward meeting out of the way it's time for coffee, kisses, and gay love, right? Or perhaps even more awkward meeting number two. *sigh*


As much as I'm on the kisses and gay love bandwagon, meeting number two will have neither. I could give them some coffee though I don't think that's quite what you had in mind. (I will sigh as well)





I have started part seven...I'll have some free time this weekend so I will try to work on it then. Give me a week at most.



~Cyd




If you're not pissed off at the world

Then you're just not paying attention

~K. Chambers

hermitfish
 


Re: Part 7

Postby silentinformer » Fri Nov 26, 2004 9:39 am

OMG OMG :eek :shock :shock :shock :shock :shock wow what a plot twist that was something i hadn't even contemplated although i have to say i do love it more interesting by the paragraph can't wait to see more

Edited by: silentinformer at: 11/26/04 8:39 am
silentinformer
 


Part 7

Postby hermitfish » Fri Nov 26, 2004 10:26 am

First off...I owe an apology.Second off...I will never say something like


Quote: Give me a week at most.

again because apparently that is the international symbol for the real world to frick with me repeatedly.Thanks for your patience.

On to the show...



Relinquished Symmetry





Addt’l note:
Sections of this part resemble some of the events in the episode "Parting Gifts" (Angel S:1).For the nitpickers, I realize that post-NMR and the events from this episode really don't line up, chronologically speaking, but I'm incorporating it anyway.


PART 7

Fate had given Tara three wonderful things in her life.The first was her mother - the warmest light in the depths of her childhood.She was taken away…her light snuffed out far too soon, far too fast.Tara was left to face the shadows alone.

Only when she escaped was she rewarded with her second wonder.A fire-haired woman that gave love to a fragile, damaged little thing and made her feel like the center of existence. Willow, who had brought her out of the shadows and back into the light.The light must have been too bright…too warm…too good to be true.She ran from the light, back towards the shadows.

She had barely retreated when fate lay another person in her crossing.A man this time, just as lost and alone as she was…and it was strange.Strange in so many ways.She had never had any guy friends, any friends other than Willow and her mother at all really.Yet with him she shared common ground - the want to prove the world wrong…to show it they were not what it thought them to be.

That was true.Tara was not a demon.Wes was not a failure.

The process to get there was so much longer than the simple truth.It was a hard road.It started in Phoenix.





Tara decided that this hadn’t been the best-planned idea as she stood outside the bus terminal with her small cache of luggage.She hung up the payphone and sighed, wondering when she should try calling again.Also wondering if Linda, her mom’s old coven member, would even remember her offer after two years.

‘If you ever need a place to stay and are in Phoenix…give me a call,’ she had gently said six feet from her mother’s grave.Had she been earnest?Did it even matter now?

‘You’re a demon, Tara. Come back home…we’ve got ways of dealing with your evil,’ she could hear her father say.Except she didn’t feel evil.Scared.Lost.Aggrieved.Emotionally drained.But not evil.

“Maybe you’re wrong, sir,” she whispered.Once she would’ve never spoken those words, with or without her father in the room.These last months with Willow had changed her, made her question everything she had been taught.She had never felt closer to nature…closer to some force that couldn’t be anything
but
good.Because she was with Willow and Willow was good – undeniably, unequivocally good.

Being with Willow was…she took a shaky breath…never going to happen again.

The sound of breaking glass and a strange presence diverted her attention.A large gray demon dripping with yellow- green fluid turned the corner just as Tara dove behind the concrete divider next to the phone.

‘It must be residual Sunnydale vibes.Now I’m attracting demons everywhere,’ she thought morbidly.

“Get back here ya’ bastard,” another demon called as he came to stop huffing and puffing.“Big fellow sure can move,” he muttered.He was much smaller – short and reddish.He was carrying some sort of dagger covered in yellow-green goo.He took off again, following the slimy trail.

A motorcycle roared down the sidestreet a few seconds later.A figure covered in leather slowed the bike as it approached.The figure, easy identifiable as a man now, forgot to put his feet down once the bike completely stopped and it tipped over on its side and fell to the road with a scrape.The rider clumsily fumbled with the black helmet, pulling it off his head after a few moments.

“Did you happen upon two unusual looking lads?” the crisp English voice asked as he struggled to get out from under his transportation.She finally crept out from behind the divider and helped him struggle loose.

This was how Wesley, quite literally, fell into her life.




They solved their first case and prevented Barney, the red demon, from collecting anymore special gifts from humans or demons.She had been lucky her stomach was empty when they found his trunk of body parts…it was the only reason she didn’t vomit from the sight alone.Afterwards, she got in touch with her mother’s friend and she did have a place to stay.A plan started to form…she could get a job and save some money for a year or so.Then she could transfer to ASU and finish her college work.

It was, she realized after sleeping on it, a pipe dream.

Twenty was fast approaching and she didn’t want to kill the only vague connection she had to her mother simply because the lady was generous.

A new plan formed…she noticed how knowledgeable Wes had been when they were researching those demons…maybe he could help her?

And if there was no help to be had?He was a rogue demon hunter…he could kill her.

All it would require was something she had never done.




‘Tara…you can’t go around telling your shameful secrets,’ her father’s voice had echoed in the back of her mind.




The truth.She would have to tell him the truth if they were ever to find any answers.While she would ideally like to think it was courage that finally made her stand against her father, it was really a mix of desperation and practicality.Such things are motivators too.

Her biggest surprise came when he agreed.It was almost as if he had enjoyed her company the last couple of days.Whatever the case, she didn’t question his motives.She left most of her belongings with Linda, only packing two rucksacks of clothes and magical aids.Wes traded in his bike for a cheap but good running car.Pulling out the maps, Tara officially became the navigator that day as they headed for Colorado.

A new story began as they moved on.

She wasn’t sure how they ever made it through the first weeks…they were both pretty laughable fighters in the hand-to-hand arena.Her first vampire hunt was a comedy of errors.




Tara was lost in the cemetery.Unbeknownst to her, Wes had tripped over the raised dirt of a recently filled grave, and knocked himself unconscious on a headstone.She stood at their ‘rendezvous point’ thinking about the commando nature of that term.

When the vampire arrived to get the artifact from the crypt, Tara mistook him for Wes and called out – losing not only her miniscule amount of stealth but also any hope of running away.Frantically, she levitated a stake and sent it at the fast approaching vampire.Her terror caused a total lack of focus and her shot was off aim-it hit the vamp in the eye.The right eye…on the completely wrong side of the body in relation to the heart.It growled, much more pissed off than before, and continued its charge.She sent another stake flying, with only a scant improvement of precision.She hit the vamp in the left eye.The screaming blind monster then tripped over a small flat headstone and went top of the skull first into a large oak tree, knocking itself unconscious.

Wes woke up at some point and followed the noise to the action.He found Tara standing over the nightcrawler in a bit of a daze.He pulled the stake from its right eye and placed it in Tara’s hand.He then wrapped his hand around hers and, together, they plunged it into the heart.

“See?That wasn’t so bad,” Wes said as the dust scattered and fell.




They began focusing on their strengths - Wes showed her how to fire a crossbow…she imbued them both with protection spells and learned to levitate and move stakes fluidly.They both were voracious readers, making research and preparation a key component.Days were spent traveling and researching…nights spent hunting and protecting.Mornings were for sleep.

They never stayed one place longer than the job called for…always another day, another mission.They became strong…competent.

Bonds were built as they moved on.

He was the brother she had always wanted.She was the proud family he had always needed.Together they were more than the sum of their broken parts.

Secrets were cast aside and another piece of commonality was discovered.Sunnydale.A pain not easily removed or forgotten.He was her support when nightmares woke her with one name on her lips.She was his constant proof that he could teach, assist, and fight for the cause.They didn’t have to pretend they were anything more or less than they were.It was okay just to be.

Freedom was found as they moved on.

The day of destiny that had crippled her for nearly a lifetime came and went...a wash of lies and pain revealed and reviled.

Somehow in those scary times and scarier beasts, Tara found part of herself.Maybe not the best part…because she knew who would always have that, but a part she never dreamed she could be.When she looked in the mirror now she saw a useful, imperative, and respected woman.Not that ugly little girl that had haunted her for so long.

Tara stared out the car window and sighed.When the apocalypse was over and the day was once again saved, they would leave town.They would move on.

----------------------------------------------------

Wes drove towards the Summers’ residence glancing sideways at the woman in the seat beside him.They had long ago come to recognize the unwritten agreement of not pressing for explanations.He would wait and she would tell…when she was ready.

Tara appreciated the silence.She was working a mental problem of confusing proportions.Either that or she was looking futilely for any explanation to something that seemed almost too obvious.When he stopped the car in front of the lovely suburban two-story, she was no closer to figuring out which.

Tara felt like the center of attention when they gathered in Buffy’s living room for the prerequisite talk.Xander and Anya sat on the couch, the latter nearly in his lap, while Oz and Wes stood by the mantle and Buffy sat of the arm of the recliner.Tara situated herself on the other end of the sofa with a frown.

The blonde Wiccan took a deep breath and began.“When was the last time you saw Willow?”

“A few hours ago…you do remember, right?” Xander responded curiously.“We were there and then…snap, crackle, pop…except without those cute little spokesperson elves.”

“They’re Krispol demons,” Anya added.“Well, reformed demons at any rate.Now they just make breakfast products.They got the idea for those rice puff sounds from the ways they used to break fingers in the 1600’s.”

“Surprisingly informative…in a Kellogg’s expose kind of way,” Buffy coyly replied.“You meant me, personally?”Tara nodded.

“The autumn after you left.”

“And you haven’t been near her in any way since?”

Buffy got a defensive look.“I wanted to…I talked to her a lot, just not in person.She moved back into her parent’s house.She wasn’t exactly open for company.”

“No…I don’t mean that you didn’t want to see her,” Tara backed up.“She didn’t let you?”

“Right.”

Tara turned to the others.“She didn’t let Oz or Mr. Giles see her either?”Oz shook his head.

“G-man had moved to England and was living with Olivia by then,” Xander added.

“Tara, why would the three of us meeting her matter and not Xander or Anya?” Buffy questioned, some sort of suspicion sparking.

“Because they’re strictly human?” Wesley surmised.Anya started to interject.“Or newly human,” he amended.

“No powers,” Oz murmured, rubbing the stubble on his chin with a thumb.“But what would I sense?”

The Buffy light bulb went off and she stood sharply, feeling both shocked and dismayed.

“You think she’s a vampire don’t you?”





What is love but whatever my heart needs around
~Trespassers William
hermitfish
 


Re: Part 7

Postby lilMissFortuneCookie » Fri Nov 26, 2004 4:56 pm

OMG! you SO need to update this soon! O.O



You had a really really interesting and original idea! By the way, please tell me you've already figured out how their happy ending will be, PLEASE!



It's funny how it's always Tara who goes after Willow in this kind of situation. Willow is always with the childish attitudes, I mean, not exactly childish, but it's like she's not mature enough to deal with a lot of things so she goes off to do something stupid and ends up hurting herself and everyone around her. And then she feels guilty and it keeps getting worse and worse until she hits bottom and decides to stay there.



Is it just me or she's always waiting for someone (TARA!) to save her but at the same time pushing that someone away... which is really bad, sometimes I wish I weren't so much like her... >>.<<

Geez, this is messing with my head.



Anyway, great job! Please update soon!

And when the time is right give them a happy ending ~.^







Cause in real life she never came back.



---

lilMissFortuneCookie

*crack me*

lilMissFortuneCookie
 


Re: Part 7

Postby alysagoddess85 » Sat Nov 27, 2004 6:27 pm

wait...what the frillin hell?! now shes potentially a vamp?! *gasp* eeeeevil!! update! hehe...please:)



~mel:kdevil

'The Cat in the Hat' is fine, just not during sex.--Alyson Hannigan

alysagoddess85
 


Re: Part 7

Postby tarawhipped » Sun Nov 28, 2004 7:47 am

*does an incredibly spastic happy dance* Yay!!!!!!! Assuming no one's first line in the next update is "no, that can't be" then my instinct was right (not that I'm gloating, mind you, I just really love to be right). LOVE IT, Cyd!!! It certainly explains a lot of things, but since Willow obviously still cares deeply for Tara, if she is a vampire, she's not a normal one. Pehaps a still-ensouled one, which I assume leaves her vulnerable to the soul-conduit demon?



You know what's REALLY funny? I had the "hmm...maybe Willow's a vampire" thought, and was kinda focused on that, and now I have absolutely NO IDEA where you're going next with this. And I'm positively bouncing :bounce :bounce :bounce (see--it's true!) waiting for the next update. But no pressure.:whistle



Awesome, Cyd!

:peace -Cameron



ETA: I like the relationship you describe between Tara and Wes, and could really see the two of them becoming friends/chosen family. Nice touch.



What should I be but just what I am? - Edna St.Vincent Millay

Edited by: tarawhipped at: 11/28/04 6:50 am
tarawhipped
 


And then there were replies

Postby hermitfish » Thu Dec 02, 2004 7:58 pm

silentinformer: Holy plot twist indeed. Thanks for the encouragement.



lilMissFortuneCookie: Re: happy ending? I have a lay of land (heh) as far as where the plot is going in my head. This story is following the rules for this board so take that as of the good and not of the bad.



Quote:
Geez, this is messing with my head.


Muwahhhaaaaa...my subversive plan revealed. :)



alysagoddess85: Sorry, I know that was a really evil place to leave off. I didn't originally plan to do that, it just suddenly became the best stopping point for the moment.



tarawhipped: I was pretty sure there were some people leaning on vampire possibility. I will confirm/deny/other in the next part. I'm glad you liked the nature of the Wes/Tara relationship. I wanted to bludgeon (once again because I have the subtlety of the eight foot lighted Santa down the street) the idea of divergent W/T paths. While Willow cut herself off from everyone around her, Tara, warring both fear and courage, reached out to a stranger. I wanted that piece of her past to reflect a hard yet fulfilling struggle made bearable because of the friendship she built.



I'm about halfway through the next part...I'll try to get it up as soon as I can.



~Cyd


What is love but whatever my heart needs around

~Trespassers William

hermitfish
 


Re: Relinquished Symmetry

Postby behindhereyes » Thu Dec 02, 2004 8:53 pm

This story is amazing... bit like walking on the edge. Can't help wondering what Tara has figured out about the strangeness going on with Willow.



Great update :clap .



behindhereyes

Kim

"To the world, you may be one person; but to one person, you may be the world"

behindhereyes
 


Re: Relinquished Symmetry

Postby pipsberg » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:17 pm

This is great stuff and I am really enjoying your unfolding story. I can't wait to read more!



:peace

-pipsberg



"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep - it's as simple and ordinary as that."

Michael Cunningham, The Hours

pipsberg
 


when

Postby MissKittys Ball O Yarn » Fri Dec 03, 2004 8:27 am

OH Hermitfish, when will there be a continuation of this wonderful tale? I keep checking....but alas, no update can be found. :aww If I ask nicely and say things like "pretty please...." and "with sugar on top?" would you gift us with updatey goodness??? :flirt







xoxo

Emms

MissKittys Ball O Yarn
 


Part 8

Postby hermitfish » Sun Dec 12, 2004 10:51 am

This update is my semester's end edition so excuse me while I dance naked on the campus green.

I just wanted to heap loads of appreciation to the good members of this board...you made a very difficult situation like moving nearly 2000 miles from my comfort zone and starting another round of school very bearable.Thanks.

On to the story...



Relinquished Symmetry




PART 8

The sun was setting low and wide, its pinks and purples misting the sky for one last colorful exhibition before nightfall.Beams of light shown through the library’s windows, making tight angular designs on the wood floor.Willow sat nursing a warm brew in the leather chair positioned in a shadowy corner.

“Did you enjoy that?”

Willow turned to the doorway and sent Isabel a sharp look.“It was inevitable for them to figure it out eventually.”

“I think she knew before your little display.”

“That wasn’t a…yes, she probably did.She was always very perceptive in the art.”

“She still cares for you.I think maybe your wrong about the other…”

Willow shook her head.“No, that little
display
only proved my theory.”

“How so?”

Willow pushed down her high collar and untucked the small agate necklace from under her shirt. She fingered the smooth stone as it rested on her breastbone.

“How else could she bypass this?”She patted the stone once before slipping it back under her shirt.

It wasn’t a question that Isabel had to answer.She was certainly no expert in the hullabaloo that immersed her boss.In fact, not too far in the recent past she would have laughed outright if anyone began speaking of mystical charms, witches, and magick.It was too fanciful and romantic…it was not real.Real was stooping to dance in a sleazy club because being pretty was the only way to pay the bills.Real was harsh, unkind, and unpleasant.

Isabel studied her boss, who was gently stroking a place on her wrist and staring at it with a mind lost in some other time, some other world.

The olive-skinned assistant placed some folders on a side table and sighed…this crazy business seemed to get more real with each passing day.

----------------------------------------------------------

“I don’t know,” Tara finally answered after what seemed an eternity.

“Then what the hell are you saying?The twenty questions allegations game has run thin,” Buffy replied more forcefully than she intended, still terrified by the idea that Willow could be a vampire.

“She has no aura.I can’t sense her.”

“You mean sense her in some sort of ‘I see dead people’ way?” Xander asked.

“Living beings have auras…supernatural things like vampires have traces.She has no aura.She has no trace.”

“She could be masking,” Wesley suggested.“Hiding her identity if she has a reason to.”

“But that doesn’t mean she has some evil, nefarious reason, right?”Xander rationalized.

Anya patted his leg and gave a shake of her curly blonde hair.“It would take some serious mojo to conceal her source.When has secrecy and the black arts ever turned out good in Sunnydale?”

No one could answer that.

-----------------------------------------------------------

It took twenty-seven minutes to travel to the caves where this ugly mug demon might be hanging out.Unfortunately, several hours went into the actual finding of the monster.It eventually resulted in a Slayer boot to the thorax and a rapid twist that took its head off with a resounding snap.The group minus Tara, who they unanimously agreed should take the night off, clambered out of the musty caves into the clear night air.

Buffy traversed the rugged terrain with an accustomed ease, only half-alert of her surroundings.Her mind was chasing some pretty disturbing thoughts in circles.Willow had long become the research authority…their tower of information.Like tonight for instance – a description, way to kill, and likely location for the baddie made this infinitely easier work.Rarely did any of the Scoobies pick up a chronicle or search a demon bibliography these days.Willow provided them with such accurate, quick information…why would they waste time with anything else?And why would they doubt her or her motives?

Buffy clutched Mr. Pointy harder.

What if Willow had been covering up details that would benefit her own plans?What if we were only eliminating her evil competition?

Buffy tensed more.

What if it’s already too late to protect her? To save her?

She looked over at Anya and Xander connected arm-in-arm and then over to where Wesley was talking with Oz.They were still being cautious but certainly a little relaxed because the Slayer was there to protect them.

She knew it was not too late to safeguard them.Her knuckles turned white around the stake.

Being a slayer was about making choices.She had to do what others could not, even if it meant…

Buffy could only hope that the choices really weren’t what she feared them to be.

------------------------------------------------------------

Tara waited until everyone exited for patrol, just as eager to be alone as they were to leave her to rest.Her mind had spiraled long after the pseudo meeting, wondering how they didn’t notice what Willow was going through.It made her mad, exponentially pissed off, that these people considered themselves her friends but left her alone to suffer.Tara didn’t fail to see the hypocriticalness amidst her anger.After all, if anyone here was to blame for leaving Willow vulnerable it was herself.She spent the next hour in a wash of pity and sadness.Eventually a more logical, reasonable side of her brain kicked in and reaffirmed that Willow had some part of the blame in this too. No matter how much Tara wanted to pin it all on herself or someone else.

She redressed and voyaged across the suburbs, taking a shortcut through Serenity Cemetery (she rolled her eyes at that).Her tumultuous emotions were still churning.As the laws of the Hellmouth state, anyone with a place to go at night is gonna have to face hell to get there.Two vamps tried to corner her at the southwest edge of the burial ground, but little did they know that Tara had felt their presence long before they even tried to corner her.She led them out a little further, where no tombs or trees would impede her aim and then she kept her back to the brick wall that lined the grounds.Waiting.She was halfway through mentally prepping her spell by the time they approached with their ‘grr’ faces on to incite some fear.

“What’s a pretty little girl like you doing all alone?”

“Watching you burn.”

“Wha…”

They realized they never had a chance as they disintegrated into piles of hot ash.

It still amazed when she completed spells like that – no longer needing to say lines of verse in archaic languages if she mentally focused.She could chant ‘Skippity do-dah’ as long as she mentally asked for assistance and directed the energy in what to do and where to go.It was astounding power…more than her mother…perhaps more than the potential she had once sensed in her beloved.She respectfully thanked the spirits and felt the spell end.

She continued on to her destination and stood before the prominent building for the third time in two days, wearier than the previous two combined.

The camera blinked a red light at her as she stood in front of the doors wondering if they would open, or more precisely, if Willow would open them.After a few minutes, she clearly understood that answer to be no.

She crouched next to the intercom, pressing the button hard enough to make a bright red impression on her thumb.Her lips were nearly grazing the small microphone area, her breathing a little erratic and shaky.She held the button for a minute or more trying to think of what to say.She had marched down here damned determined to say something, but now she had no words, no voice.




Tara sat on top of the comforter trying to finish her sociology readings.Willow was bundled adorably under the covers, having pulled them to just under her chin.She waited patiently for about one minute before starting in with the restless fidgeting.Then she began running her foot up and down Tara’s leg in a shameless ploy to get her to snuggle.

“Tell me a story…sing me a song…I can’t go to sleep without hearing your beautiful voice.”

“Are you saying I’m boring?That I put you to sleep?” Tara asked mock offended before turning the page with a tiny grin.That pesky foot ran up her leg again and Tara grabbed it with predator like reflexes.The redhead yelped and then began giggling as Tara tickled the sole of that sneaky tootsie.

Willow uncocooned herself and grabbed the blonde by the waist, making them both topple back into the mattress. Tara plunked her book on the floor and climbed under the covers.They molded into a comfortable position with Tara on her back and Willow burrowed into her shoulder, an arm lazily snaked around her waist.

“Never boring,” Willow murmured as her breathing got progressively deeper.“Your voice just makes me feel safe, like nothing out in the night can touch me.”




“There once was a kitty…” Tara started, the words suddenly alive and flowing.She told stories of her demon fighting, changing it around to make the amazing adventures of Miss Kitty Fantastico.She wondered if Willow even remembered that silly name.

She sung a few songs, remembering how hard the redhead had begged her the first time to serenade her from the depths of those same blankets.Now she sung willingly...songs her mother taught her from old LPs and ones she heard on the radio travelling the country.Anything to stay there a few more minutes.

She went on for hours nonstop…the dark night turned dusk turned to a bright orange ball of light that shined in her blurry eyes.Her throat was dry and cracking…she would be hoarse soon, maybe even lose her voice.Her back was sore, her shoulders were tense, and her butt was numb.She was exhausted – physically, emotionally, and spiritually.Her thumbs were blistered and painful.

“Good night, Willow,” she beckoned softly.She depressed the button and turned to leave in defeat.A small swooshing noise made her turn back around.And, oh, what a sight.

A Goddess standing in the rays of first light, her red hair brightly highlighted and her eyes deep and green.

Tara realized one thing and it resonated loud and clear - this Goddess was alive.

~Edited for spelling~




All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people.
~Eugene Pallette in
My Man Godfrey (1936)
Edited by: hermitfish at: 1/16/05 4:26 pm
hermitfish
 


Quickie message

Postby hermitfish » Sun Dec 12, 2004 11:24 am

Hi-ya...a few additional replies



behindhereyes: Thank you kindly - I've become such a glutton for praise since I started this story. It really motivates me, especially when I'm overloaded.



pipsberg: I am extremely greatful you stopped by for a spell...I love when other writers whose wonderful work I respect come around. :)



MissKittys Ball O Yarn: :P ...you're silly goose ya know? :P I have a serious sweet tooth so I could say "will work for sweets". Update coming today...up next.



~Cyd






All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people.

~Eugene Pallette in My Man Godfrey (1936)

hermitfish
 

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