Relinquished Symmetry

[silentinformer]

Wow so sweet and I loved the flashbacks so touching and poignant can't wait to see what happens with there meeting now that Willow should know that Tara still cares



And god do i wish my finals were over even though they don't start until tuesday

Edited by: silentinformer at: 12/12/04 11:06 am

[pipsberg]

Oh wow! hermitfish, that was amazing. The idea of Tara just sitting there for hours serenading and talking to Willow is so heartbreaking. It makes me ache to read it. I am really doubly intrigued now. Willow has no trace or aura. She may or may not be a demon. Yet Tara sees her at the end and says she is definitely alive. Wonderful stuff! Please give us more

-pipsberg



"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep - it's as simple and ordinary as that."

Michael Cunningham, The Hours

[trashxmyxheart]

Aww. I think I'm going to cry. That was so sweet. Beautiful actually. Hope the next update is even better. Tara&Willow 4ever!!

[tarawhipped]

*sits on rug among a pile of puzzle pieces*

*intently begins spreading them out, looking for edge pieces*

*sees that there's only enough edges for one side*

*sees that many, but not all, of the pieces are printed on both sides*

*tosses down pieces*

*stands up, stamps feet, pulls hair, says "GRRR ARGGGH*

*throws self facedown on rug, pounds floor with hands and feet*



Now that my little tantrum is over, can I just say how remarkably frustrating that was, Cyd??? The end was really sweet, with Tara refusing to let Willow alone, and reaching out to her in such a simple and moving way. It doesn't seem as though anyone has tried to interact with Willow on an emotional level for some time. It's her own choice to a great extent, and possibly why she's kept Buffy, Giles, and Oz away in particular?



Buffy's thoughts are troubling. She's basically been following along with whatever Willow says for the past few years, but now there's one unproven speculation that Willow could up to something bad, and she's in full Slayer-mode, ready to take her down, if necessary. I guess it's what she does, but I just hope she waits for some evidence (preemptive strikes BAD!).



As for Willow's deal...I haven't a clue. Tara senses she's alive, but that pesky agate could be the Gem of Amarra, no? And what's all this about a theory regarding Tara??? I WANT ANSWERS, DAMMIT!!! And if I don't get some soon, missy...well, lets just say that your naked campus-dancing may have been caught on film

[Viximon]

So beautuful chap this last. Want to read more already

plese continue soon

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

That was so amazing Cyd and perfectly done....and romantic and all those other words like... extraordinary, excellent, and wonderful....

Quote:

---

“You mean sense her in some sort of ‘I see dead people’ way?” Xander asked.

---

This line had me



I swear to you that I almost cried when Tara showed up at Willows. It was so romantic how she just stayed there, being with Willow..even if Willow never...opened the door or said a word in return.



Please don't take so long with the next update....I don't know if my little heart could take it. I need to know what happens next.







xoxo

Emms

[alysagoddess85]

wow...that was just...yea...wow...the whole 'tara serenading willow for hours and hours' thing was great...something i can definately see tara doing...i loved it! more SOOOOOON please



~mel

'The Cat in the Hat' is fine, just not during sex.--Alyson Hannigan

[hermitfish]

Replies....



pipsburg: Wow? Amazing? ...aww thank you. Glad that you're still finding the plot intriguing as opposed to wanting to club me in the back of the head and say 'get to the point already' (a la Cameron).



silentinformer: I like the sweet little snippet flashbacks too...I try to mix them in to keep the mood from being too depress-y. Thanks for reading and I'm sending you all the good luck exam vibe I can muster...oh and here's to me finishing this before I get my masters.



trashxmyxheart: ...I learned my lesson about crying kitties. Your words were nice and appreciated...thank you.



tarawhipped: Oh, Cameron...where to begin? 1. The puzzle pieces do have answers (that I've already come up with) 2. They will slowly begin coming together (I hope) rather than just adding more to the pile in the coming updates 3. Buffy's reaction is extremely slayerish and potentially hazardous 4. Naked campus dancing was cancelled when I sobered up from a trip to your bar and figured out it was less than 20 with the wind chill.



Okay...I will try to explain one thing here, because I don't know how much airtime I will give it, if any. Tara asked about Buffy, Oz, and Giles in particular because she knows that they are the only possibilities within the group of recognizing something wrong (mystically) with Willow. She barely knows these people so her only other inclination of their possible abilities would come from stories Willow told her when they were together. I think the phrasing of the questioning was more a way to ferret out anything they did or did not notice since she is rather stumped (i.e. this was not meant to be a particular 'clue' to anything).



Hope that helps a bit...no headaches were intended.



Viximon: Thanks so much...I know what I want in the next part its just a question of sitting down, tapping it out, and making it fit. I'll try to be speedy-like but no promises.



MissKittys Ball O Yarn: I'm pleased that Tara's gesture is being received positively. It is a small gesture but sometimes those can be very powerful. You are far too kind with the adjectives but I adore it...thanks.



alysagoddess85: I thought that was a believable Tara-type action too. Glad you agree.



I'm plane bound tomorrow to points west and my big hope is to work on the next few parts over my short (grrr) break. But if I don't get around to posting before next week, let me wish safe travels and a happy holiday wherever you may be.



~Cyd

---

All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people.

~Eugene Pallette in My Man Godfrey (1936)

[behindhereyes]

Wow



If words alone had the ability to nourish our bodies, this was a banquet . Tara singing to Willow til first light, so very sweet.



" The goddess is alive " you said quite a bit with those four words.



behindhereyes

Kim

"To the world, you may be one person; but to one person, you may be the world"

[tarawhipped]

Quote:

---

Glad that you're still finding the plot intriguing as opposed to wanting to club me in the back of the head and say 'get to the point already' (a la Cameron)

---

HEY! Stop slandering me to pipsberg! I happen to be completely enthalled by the plot, and I NEVER said anything about whacking you in the head (I didn't even use the cute little 'whackin' smilie )!



Having cleared that up, it's good to know that you're intimidated in the event I have to get physical. *giggles evilly, fully aware that Cyd has no way of knowing I'm really a short, mild-mannered, totally non-threatening pacifist* oh crap...ignore that! Be afraid! Be very...oh nevermind.



-Cam

---

What should I be but just what I am? - Edna St.Vincent Millay

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

Okay... Cyd.... Its been like...soooo long without an update.... And... I was just wonderin' if there will be one soon.....? Possibly....today maybe? Im going crazy here Cyd ...honestly, I can't stop wondering about what's going to happen next.... I can't sleep....I can't eat.... I can't function at work beyond pointing and scowling...



The relationship I've worked so hard for with my little hamster has gone to the gutter, because every-time we're together, all I can talk about is your fic... I've caught him rolling his little beady eyes at me on more than one occasion.....



I'm down on my knees..... Please please please please update...





xoxo

Emms

I can wax philisophically on a variety of different subjects...that doesn't,however, mean that I have anything constructive to add to the conversation.

--- Me

[hermitfish]

behindhereyes: Thanks for the beautiful words. Truly. Sincerely.



tarawhipped:



From the lawyers of Cyd:



Dear Cameron,

        A recent review of the thoughtful and informative feedback you leave after every update has led us to believe that our client is an unmitigated idiot. We have, on many occasions, attempted to suppress her ill-timed and often nonfactual ramblings. As usual, we have failed. Being the libeled party, allow us to extend our humblest condolences and our personal assurance that, despite your height challenged stature, you were effectively menacing.



Sincerely,

The Office of Drunken Frat Girls, Attorneys at Law



MissKittys Ball O Yarn: Ummm...update. Well, see...I sort of got shanghaied into some alternate work over the break. The good news: Now, I have a website - Altered Shadows for my meager fanfiction offerings as the space was given to me by the older, smarter, successful sibling. The bad news: I have not been working at all on the update. BUT I will arrive back at the hermitage on Friday and will return to my regularly scheduled writing over the weekend.



On a more solemn note, I hope you salvage the relationship with your hamster...I just couldn't take it if my story was the cause of a nasty breakup. I won't be a habitrail wrecker again.



~Cyd

---

All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people.

~Eugene Pallette in My Man Godfrey (1936)

[the hero factor]

I just read this story and I am really enjoying it. Great job.

She danced as they say in that song - like a wave on the ocean.

[hermitfish]

Hey look...I found another feedback...


the hero factor:
Welcome to the story...I'm glad you're enjoying.

Update time...



Relinquished Symmetry




Disclaimer:
Many rich people own BTVS and its characters…I am not one of them.


Additional Disclaimer:
The song
'I Would'
belongs to Cameron Dezen. No infringement intended.


Rating:
R (subject to change…I will alert)


Author’s Notes:
This storyline takes everything up to halfway through New Moon Rising as the gospel. I have made a BIG change that may make some kittens ‘thwack’ me with a shovel…or, more appropriately, a sledgehammer. Also, some of the dynamics of Angel have been altered to suit me. This is an angsty piece.


Additional note:
A few pieces of dialogue come from the show (Who Are You?, This Year’s Girl, NMR, Fear Itself, etc.).


Feedback:
Feel free to drop a line.No posting this story elsewhere without my consent.





PART 9

It just couldn’t be.

Buffy rubbed her eyes. It was well into early morning, though dawn had not broke yet.

She would find the answer to this.

There would be no accusations, no insinuations until she had the facts…she owed Willow that. For all that she had done for her. She made this vow at some point through her initial processing tirade on the way home.

Buffy typed another search on her laptop. The piles of duplicated texts she had found in the attic surrounded her.

Willow had given her the laptop over a year and a half ago at Christmas, just before she began college again. How did she know of the reenrollment? Buffy scratched her head. The redhead continued to be the all-knowing presence that floated sight unseen on the fringes of her life.

Her life...whew, fast paced and over filled, as it had been since her calling. Guardian to Dawn and guardian of the Hellmouth - she wasn’t sure which was more difficult on some days. Now, school had been added to the morning…she despised the early lectures but, at the same time, cherished the opportunity to attend them.

How did she find a way?

Willow again.

Buffy clicked into the first search result.

Willow saved what was left of HER world.

With her Mom gone, the domestic politics of raising a teenager fell to her shoulders. She had no money…her mother’s medical and funeral bills ate away any savings. Giles had left the summer before, just after her first year of college, married Olivia and was raising a new son. Riley had left later, just as her mom got ill, unable to deal with the stress, power, and nature of her life. Xander and Anya had just become engaged and didn’t have money to spare. He was working construction and she was a waitress at the Expresso Pump. Her father was in Spain or Guam or Uruguay…who the hell knew. Willow was probably her only hope left.

Not that the slayer went actively seeking help. Nor that the redhead had showed up on the door and given her a job.

It just happened.

Willow had not been as well off then, either. This was before the crystal fortress setup she had now. The redhead had taken a large portion of her parent’s ‘so you graduated college with a stack of letters but we’re on sabbatical in Norway’ money and propagated it into a startup business. She probably wasn’t even breaking even at that point but she made a place for Buffy.

It was a very Willow thing to do. It was the part where they didn’t meet or spend any time together that seemed to be characteristics of someone she didn’t know. Couldn’t know.

Buffy scanned further down the result page and clicked into the fifth site.


Masking is a spell a witch or warlock would perform on themselves or some other consenting party to conceal their source or measure of magickal ability. Not to be confused with a glamour, which only alters the perception of physical traits, masking traces its origins to the time of medieval witch hunts where it was used by many to hide abilities from prosecutors. Masking should not be attempted by anyone but adept practitioners, as there are severe consequences to inexperienced, recreational use. Most advanced practitioners will not be able to hold the spell longer than a few minutes, so this type of spell should be done in emergency situations only. Other long-term options are limited, although there are some rare stones that have been blessed with masking spells, usually in conjunction with other protection spells.


The blonde printed out the page and made some notes in the column. If Willow were masking, she would have had to hold that spell the entire time Tara was there. Unless she was wearing one of these blessed thingies…maybe Tara noticed?

Buffy slipped into the basement to rouse her and found an empty space.

“Well damn,” the slayer muttered. She had a pretty good idea where the missing witch had gone…but the internal question was if she should follow.

The busy Hellmouth protector sighed, walking to the hall closet to find her Doc Martens.

--------------------------------------

Willow had never been a passive sleeper. Spaz by day and spaz by night could be her axiom. She tossed, turned, mumbled, and woke up more oft than not. Heck, sometimes she had full-blown conversations with the mysterious compatriots in her slumber.

The saving grace in the limited realm that could be called her relationships was that her lovers had, conversely, slept like logs zonked out on tranquilizers. It eased her guilt to know that their rest didn’t suffer due to her inherent rambunciousness. Her favorite thing to do on those long nights when she couldn’t shut off her brain was to watch them sleep. Watch their lungs fill and expel oxygen…it was something so simple, yet so beautiful.

The experiences with the two had been different in hindsight comparison. With Oz it had been an impatient counting of the seconds until he stirred. With Tara it had been a wanting of that precious moment to last until the end of time.

Oz.

He had been charming, funny, stoic, and sensitive. Attentive at a time when no one else could see how much she craved attention. The beginning had been exciting…isn’t it always? Especially factoring in the werewolf bit. She could handle the ramifications and, well, the uniqueness of the relationship…that’s what you did when you wanted to be with someone, right? It was just at some point when she wasn’t looking the rules of the game changed. Communication stopped and they more often pulled away than together. Then the betrayal came and he left…and she thought that open wound of pain, irreconciliation, and abandonment would never heal.

But it did.

With a most unlikely person. A quiet, unassuming, intelligent, tenderhearted woman.

Tara.

Her eyes always sparkled…it was the first detail Willow noticed about her. Even when she shied away or tried to hide them behind her hair…they always sparkled a stunning blue. Her smile was the second little piece of the Tara puzzle. It was cute and seemed unsure and apologetic for the rest of her actions. She made a place in Willow’s heart quickly and everyday seemed more blissful than the next - the summit ever higher, no risk of hitting a plateau. She handled the ramifications of this relationship too…what had once been words she had only heard yelled at some in hate had become her without discord or remorse. Their togetherness evolved into something far beyond what she had felt with Oz. The one. Forever. Always. Yours. The words now had true meaning.

She believed she had kept better track of the score this time. And then one day, she too was gone. The betrayal was greater, even as their time together had been shorter. It left her questioning every word the blonde had ever spoke. It left her blaming herself. And deep down inside, it left her with nothing to give…as it had all been taken away.

--------------------------------------




A knock at her door pulled Tara from her almost sleeping state. She bounced out of bed to the door. After all, she knew who was this late.

“Hey Willow,” she greeted as she escorted the redhead in and shut the door.

“Lookie,” the redhead enthusiastically pulled six roses out from behind her back. “Now we can try the floaty synch spell again.”

“But so many?”

Willow internally cringed. That spell had been quite a while ago and they had never talked about trying it again.

“Yeah, well…you know, in case one goes all projectile missile we have backups,” she answered, her voice tinged with a little nervousness. “Plus, different colors…pretty.”

Willow tried to stand still and look nonchalant. She had gone to seven different florists to find the most uniquely beautiful colors. Since they were out of season, it had not only been hard to do, but pricey as well. That was okay…as long as Tara liked them. She was getting worried…maybe Tara didn’t like them.

“But six?” Tara couldn’t help the smile that spread over her face as she figured out Willow’s true intent.

Willow looked down, refusing to make eye contact as she began to feel stupid and embarrassed.

“I r-really like them. Really.”

Willow looked up in surprise.

“How can you always tell what I’m feeling?”

“Synchronicity.”



----------------------------



“The inward eye, the sightless sea.
Ayala flows through the river in me.”

Tara’s voice was still going; even it was weak and wispy. Willow groggily woke from euphoric rush of the netherworld to the confinement of her body.

“Tara?”

She couldn’t stop now…even if that was the most pitiful calling of her name she had ever heard.

“The inward eye, the sightless sea.
Ayala flows through the river in me.
The outward voice, the silent mind.
Ayala holds us within her bind.”

A hand gently grazed Tara’s even as she moved it in a circle over Willow.

“I’m here.” Willow grinned exhaustedly. “Within your bind.” She ran her hand along the witch’s cheek.

“Well…I am your anchor,” Tara leaned into the touch.

“Mind if I reel you in?” She pulled the blonde on top of her.



----------------------------



“I trust you.”




----------------------------


Willow’s eyes blinked owlishly. She stared blankly at the ceiling.


A noise? A beep…something had set the system off.


“Now the kitty didn’t have claws long enough to scare the ponies, but she had a ball of string she could throw at them…”


Tara?


Her story continued.


Yes, Tara.


“Here we go again
Lay it all down on the line…”

Had time stopped…or had it flew by in a rush? Willow wasn’t sure. Had it been three years…or three seconds?

“Don't you know
How it breaks my heart to see you cry…”


Why does she do this? Does she want to see what’s left? Nothing. I
can’t
do this…I can’t.


“…Cause I will take your pain
If I could
I would …”


It’s just a dream.
Her eyes drifted shut at the gentle vocals.
This was a dream. Were there dreams like this once?


“Leave it in the rain
If I could
I would…”

If she didn’t open her eyes back up, she could stay there forever.

“…Help you find your way
If I could
I would…”


But…what if?
Willow opened her eyes and stood even as her mind fought her every action.

“…Leave it in the rain
If I could
I would…”

She was helpless. A moth who had once barely escaped the fire…now heading directly for the flames again.

“I would.”

She ran across the apartment to the emergency stairs, threw open the door, and ran down all three flights.

“Good night, Willow.”

She sprinted across the lobby…commanded the system to open the doors. They parted with a tiny swoosh.

Tara turned around. A goddess backlit by the rising sun. Her blue eyes shining brighter than the skies.

Willow stood with her red hair disheveled…panting…out of breath.

Just a helpless moth.




~Edited for disclaimer anal retentiveness~

All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people.
~Eugene Pallette in
My Man Godfrey (1936)



Altered Shadows
Edited by: hermitfish at: 1/16/05 7:58 pm

[behindhereyes]

OMG...omg... omg



There was so much to this, that deserves mention... but I am beside myself with the vision of such beauty and sadness. How do you do that ? I read and am completely... transported.

Buffy remembering the way Willow helped her make it through was very sweet. Willows remembrance of her life... her loves, gave so much insight into the how and why of who she has become. Her reactions to the sound of Tara singing and the vision of her running desperately down those stairs... awesome !!!



You are amazing



behindhereyes

Kim

"To the world, you may be one person; but to one person, you may be the world"

[Viximon]

Ey! It had been a while.

But the wait was worth it. And I mean..Wow.

So touching and all. Beatiful update indeed. I can't wait for those two to take action once and forever. And to Buffy to found what mask Willow had been using and more important, why.

And...Wow

You had me drooling for this story. Hope you update soon.



Take care

[hidden watson]

At least Willow isn't the emotionless bot she has made herself into for the past few years, she still has memories of the gang, of Tara, of their relationship. How could she not be moved by Tara's song, how? *wipes tears from eyes*.



Okay, she's out of breath and panting, hence alive, right?



So can they touch now? Or does Willow need to rip the charm off first?



Can't wait.

------

quiet thoughts

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

Oh Cyd! beautiful! though you still left me in this state of torture, only this time from the other perspective. As before, we are left outside the door.........



please Cyd...please don't doom them, to be forever standing in the entrance way.... they need kisses... and such.



I hope you have scurried back to your computer to away at another update. <------ why is this cow chewing gum? Who gave the cow gum? someone should call Animal protective services ! (okay.... that may have been some residual frustration.... )



On a serious note though, I loved the update... and I loved even more, the fact that there was an update

you are by far one of my very most favorite writers.





xoxo

Emms

Edited by: MissKittys Ball O Yarn at: 1/18/05 8:16 am

[alysagoddess85]

OOOOO...OOO OOO OOO OOO OOO!!!! SUCH a frickin awesome ending to that update!! willow laying there listening to tara...and then running out and catching her..and then...more waiting for another update...which will HOPEFULLY be soon.



~mel

'The Cat in the Hat' is fine, just not during sex.--Alyson Hannigan

[hermitfish]

Okay, so I got this response in some e-mail correspondence, got a good laugh, and figured I'd put it here.

Quote:

---

It was good. You are still jerking us readers around though. I guess it is your job as the writer.

---

I am going to be so bold ( <---see this much) and say that revelation will come in next chapter...and, dahhhling, you know I still love ya.



Replies of the non-lurky variety...



behindhereyes: I just don’t know how to acknowledge the niceness of your praise to the power it deserves...this humble gal doesn't know what else to say. With Buffy, I wanted her to be more... adult...logical, I guess, doing a little contemplation and research instead of just running up to Willow with a stake and being slayerish. As for Willow, I thought it was about time to puzzle with her perspective a bit.



Viximon:

Quote:

---

I can't wait for those two to take action

---

Well, the next update will be W/T talky...finally...it took me a little longer than I expected to get to this convo, but here we are.

Quote:

---

And to Buffy to found what mask Willow had been using and more important, why.

---

Yes, why indeed. Glad you're enjoying...heehee...do you want a one of those lobster bibs for the drool?



hidden watson: Willow's definitely conflicted. She spent all this time closing herself off and shutting herself down that now she's having problems with seeing Tara again and bringing up all these feelings she tucked away. Re: questions...I'll answer both in the next bit. Thanks.



alysagoddess85: I'm pleased you liked. HOPEFULLY the next update will be soon.



MissKittys Ball O Yarn: Yes, they're still outside the door...at least they will have to interact now. Or I could have a sequence about the door itself and the heartbreaking stress it endures on a day-to-day basis?







Okay...w/t interaction it is...



Awww...sniffle, sniffle, you're too kind to me. And you make me laugh out loud...what more can I ask of such a wonderful reader? Nothing I say.





Starting Thur. I have a four-day break to which I say 'yay' before a very busy spring sem gets under way. I'm going to work on the Fragments update first. I have not begun the next part of this but I'm gonna try to take a swing at both of them.



~Cyd

---

All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people.

~Eugene Pallette in My Man Godfrey (1936)



Altered Shadows

[bullko]

I used to be a lurker, but now I've decided to join the party, sorry for being late. This is a great fic. Dark but *may be?* redeemable Willow, she's not as detached as she'd built herself up to be. Tara's serenade was just right to bring the emotions back to Willow. please update soon.

[Grimlock72]

Hmm.. found this story very late (no idea why I keep missing stories).. anywayz...



Willow is trying very hard keep all emotions out it seems. While that will prevent breaking hearts and the like, it will also make live boring as heck.



I think Willow is trying to prevent heart-break a bit to drasticly this time around. Makes her come across rather cold-hearted. The end of this update seems to change that, but it was a bit hard to follow She could have just answered the intercom, wouldn't be THAT hard... surely Tara would have waited then.



The image of Tara reading stories into that intercom for hours was so sad. Reading in a later update that Willow did in fact listen and hear those stories made it a bit better, otherwise it would have been a coldly ignoring Willow... not so good.



As for Willow being a vampire... I don't get the logic behind that. Why would Tara touching a vampire get her thrown across the room ? Hmm.. maybe that charm is supposed to mask emotions ?? That would make it react violently to Tara's touch obviously....



I liked the flashback on what happened to Buffy and how Willow helped her through some bad times. Reading how Willow rubbed her hands thinking she could surprise Tara was painfull. Poor Willow must indeed have broken down somewhere around then. Contrary to what Willow thinks people can and do get over such painfull events, trouble is that she doesn't want to risk that ever again. In typical Willow style she has taken that to the extreme.



I'm not really sure I can ever see Willow behave so distant to esp. Xander and Buffy though. Just don't see what triggered that, if anything her friends should have helped her through what undoubtly was a very difficult period in her life.



Tara at least had Wesley to talk with and confide in. I've never watched Angel so I like him for being a friend to Tara Tara must feel pretty awfull knowing that she (a) left for nothing and (b) hurt Willow in the process. Willow still doesn't know that Tara left thinking it would be best for Willow, right ? Somehow she has to be told that, at least she can then decide to take the risk again... or not.



A very sad and lonely Willow here, also somewhat cold/stand-ofish. That's tempered a bit by knowing how she got there, but still...



Why did Willow's friends comply so meekly with the rather bizar way the meet/interact with Willow ? Normal communication seems to have ceased existing, surely at some point this must have been noticed ??



Will we ever find out what the other time was Isabella referred to as Willow being all shaken ?? (many updates back, I know.. just read it though ;-)



It's a different direction for a story for sure .



Grimmy (who's not still entirely sure what to think of this story/Willow)

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Edited by: Grimlock72 at: 1/23/05 1:16 pm

[hermitfish]

Good grief, Charlie Brown...I've been an updating machine lately.The next part is ready but first a couple of replies...



bullko:
Hello...welcome non-lurky you...there is no such thing as late with me...my place is always open for feedback business.

Update is here.


Grimlock72:
Yeah, I get that the end of that update was a bit of a change for Willow in compared to previous behavior.I thought it had a sort of bottled up emotions spewing out suddenly effect.The intercom would have been the easier way

but I think she just got caught up in the moment.

The Willow as a vampire idea was the sort of no thought, knee jerk reaction to the situation as they saw it without any true proper research or attention to detail.


Quote:Willow still doesn't know that Tara left thinking it would be best for Willow, right ?

No, no she doesn't...let's just say things that are fuzzy will get clearer soon.


Quote:Why did Willow's friends comply so meekly with the rather bizar way the meet/interact with Willow ? Normal communication seems to have ceased existing, surely at some point this must have been noticed ??

Well, I guess my counter question is how many times can you try to reach out (or even just have a conversation) with someone and have them swat you away before you stop trying?Yes, they noticed the change in her, and perhaps it was late, but in the end they were just respecting her wishes to be left alone.I'm grateful for your words.







Relinquished Symmetry





Disclaimer:
Many rich people own BTVS and its characters…I am not one of them.


Rating:
R (subject to change…I will alert)


Author’s Notes:
This storyline takes everything up to halfway through New Moon Rising as the gospel. I have made a BIG change that may make some kittens ‘thwack’ me with a shovel…or, more appropriately, a sledgehammer. Also, some of the dynamics of Angel have been altered to suit me. This is an angsty piece.


Additional note:
A few pieces of dialogue come from the show (Who Are You?, This Year’s Girl, NMR, Fear Itself, etc.).


Feedback:
Feel free to drop a line here. No posting this story elsewhere without my consent.





PART 10

It was like looking at a painting she once thought was a blurry watercolor and realizing that it was a stark portrait of realism with strong, beautiful strokes of color.

And Willow wasn’t prepared for that.

She had spent so much time avoiding the blonde’s gaze during that first brief meeting that she truly hadn’t seen her at all.

She had convinced herself it was better that way. Convinced herself for three long years that she had to protect her life. She knew she still had to. So why had she run to her?

Tara gazed at the redhead with her brow misted lightly with sweat, hunter green pajamas enveloping her small frame, and a small necklace clasped around her neck. She felt a deep longing that just the sight of her could produce. A burning that was borne from long nights of constant movement. Never stopping, never finding a home…this woman was her home and here she was right where she had left it. She thought that she had left for the greater good…no good.

They stood as two statues would.

Tara broke the cast first. “You’re not a vampire,” she blurted awkwardly, with equal parts relief and awe.

“A…a vampire?” Willow sputtered, looking up at the sun like it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard.

“It’s just I couldn’t feel…” Tara paused. “It w-was just a misunderstanding.”

“I see,” the redhead responded, although she didn’t. “Would you like to come in?”
No, No, No, Willow.


“Please,” Tara whispered as she followed the redhead. They entered they lobby and rode the elevator to the top floor.

The doors opened to an expansive but sparse room. Xander said none of them had ever been here before and that he had expected it to be dark or gothic. It wasn’t. The open floor plan allowed view of the kitchen and the entire space, like a studio apartment would be only much larger. Light came in readily through the large office style windows that seemed to have electronic curtains to regulate them. She could see a comfortable sized bedroom and bathroom on the far side of the layout. It was decorated tasteful but not with the methodical care and manner she would have expected. There were no pieces that pulled her in and said ‘Willow lives here’.

Willow whisked herself to the kitchen and made two glasses of lemon tea. She handed one to the blonde and placed hers on a side table.

“Do you mind if I dress?” Willow inquired suddenly. “It will only take a moment.” Tara nodded.

Willow escaped into her bedroom and shut the door, leaning hard against its thick frame. What the hell are you doing?
Here have some tea…and while you’re at it can I beg your pardon to pull the knife from my back.
Willow rolled her eyes as she moved to the closet, picking out a less sweaty, dressier white blouse and a pair of khaki slacks.

Tara sipped the tea and tried to sort the scattered word jumble of thoughts in her mind. Her cell phone rang…Buffy on the line.

“Tara, are you where I think you are after we all agreed that you should be resting?”

“No, you guys agreed. I made no such promise.”

Buffy muttered. “I’ve got news…and a question.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“We killed the Herring Toss earlier, wasn’t exactly fight of the year.”

Tara tried to hide the chuckle. “Dead Herotaus, check.”

“The question is, uhh, about Willow? Are you with her?”

“Not at this moment,” Tara looked at the closed door.

“Is she wearing a thingie? I read about a way for her to mask herself with a rare charm thingie.”

“What did it say?” Tara questioned as she remembered the necklace around the redhead’s throat.

“It said that there were a few types of rare charms that could be customized to the user for masking and protection against a particular target. I’m really confused and starting to wonder if something else isn’t going on entirely. Like maybe she’s trying to hide from something bad…like herself if she is a vampire,” Buffy said with a sigh.

“Well I don’t think she’s a you-know-what,” Tara answered, chiding her way of sounding like a shy preteen taking about sex.

“Okay…and you’re sure?”

“Well we were in the sunlight and she was panting and sweating…”

“Good God…you got her in the sack already?” Buffy asked incredulously. “No, wait, don’t answer that…I SO don’t want to know.”

“I think she ran out to meet me. Do you really think that me in a pair of low rider jeans and a tank top could make that happen in one night?” Tara’s face warmed as she thought of how close to reality she wanted that to be.

“I’m sure you’re asking someone on the wrong side of the fence. I could go find Xander…he’d be glad to tell you you’re a super hottie. Oh hell, I just said it didn’t I?”

“Thanks ye’ of the straight and narrow. Your secret’s safe with me,” she giggled loudly. Her mirth quickly expired as she focused again. “So you think something might be after her? Trying to hurt her?” she asked much quieter.

“I’ve got Wes and the rest of us looking into monsters that she might need protection from. I called Giles in on it too. If something’s after her, she has to tell us…cause I think she knows. I was on my way down there. Should I come?” Buffy asked even as Tara heard the slayer directing someone else on the other end.

“No, stay. I’ll let you know what I find out.” She closed the phone and rubbed her temples. One minute she thought Willow might be the evil and now she might need protection?

Willow washed her face and wiped down her body before changing. She needed her wits about her…she would have never invited Tara in if she had been alert.

She reached out for the doorknob just as she heard the blonde give an exhaustive giggle and respond to whomever she was talking to. She hesitated, balling her fist into a tight round, before opening the door and facing the past.

Willow leisurely moved to the couch and sat, defying the torrent within her body. “Why are you here?”

“I need to know you’re okay…” Tara lips opened to continue but the pain she saw on the redhead’s face made her stop. “I want to stop what’s hurting you or what you’re hiding from. I can help you…Buffy…we can help you.”

“Is this a joke? You’ve come here to taunt me?” Willow bitterly asked.

“Willow? What?” Tara responded, bouncing quickly into confusion.

“Is this some sort of game? I thought our game had already ended. You won, remember?”

They were grating against each other, bare metal to bare metal.

“Damnit Willow, what the hell is wrong with you?”

Willow’s hand moved to her clavicle as she stroked her piece of jewelry. She unhooked the small clasp around her neck, but held a hard hand around the stone in her palm. Tara watched her hesitate.
Is she afraid?


Willow took a deep breath and sat the necklace down on the side table. She visibly weakened and went slack into the padding of the sofa.

Her green eyes squinted and went hard. “Did you come to see what’s left? Get the final victory?”

Tara looked at the redhead’s aura and gaped. A small gray tendril traced from the thin frame of Willow’s body to her own. Shock would not start to name her realization. She thought about her own ability. How all this time she had felt herself getting better at spells, getting stronger. How she believed it all began when she connected with Willow and began practicing all those advanced spells. How to this day it felt as though Willow was a part of her.

She was.

She watched the tendril as it drifted into her.

Her power wasn’t all her own.

It was Willow’s.





All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people.
~Eugene Pallette in
My Man Godfrey (1936)



Altered Shadows

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

*blink* *blink*











xoxo

Emms

I can wax philisophically on a variety of different subjects...that doesn't,however, mean that I have anything constructive to add to the conversation.

--- Me

[silentinformer]

HUH wow what a twist so their connected wow now i guess this explains the charm willow was protecting herself from tara how sad maybe now that this has been revealed we will get some more answers and great update all the twists keep you hooked in kinda reminds me of alias



More soonish please



Silent

It's like I can't breathe, It's like I can't see anything, Nothing but you, I'm addicted to you



- Kelly Clarkson "Addicted"

[xonethousandtears08x]

Love-lyyy update. Can't wait till the next one.

[eklipsej]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!



Okay that was in every respect completely, totally, entirely, absotively positutely downright altogether utterly unexpected.



Please oh please hermitfish for the love of all that is right and good in this world



please don't keep us waiting for the next installment!

[serendipitous]

Wow. This fic is great and I love how you ended this last update! What an unexpected turn but all the events leading up to this now makes sense! Well, almost anyways. Can not wait to see where this goes! Cheers!

[hidden watson]

This is an unexpected turn of affairs, so totally out of the blue, yet if we thought about it, not so implausible. How badly does Willow look? I have gray and emacipated in my mind, please let it NOT be so.



Hats off to you for coming up with this twist, now I truly really positively can't wait for the next update.

------

quiet thoughts

[Grimlock72]

Brownie points for surprises . Didn't see that one coming, nope. Doesn't explain why she distanced herself from the other scoobies though... heck, they would have tried to help her if she asked... so why didn't she ask ? Or has Willow become distrusting of pretty much the rest of the world ?



Just what is Isabella to Willow by the way ? She appearantly witnessed a protective reaction from Willow's amulet before, triggered by who ??



Tara and Willow are a bit too much connected it seems (neither did choose for this). They need a sort of magical divorce or something. Based on Willow's appreance they need one fast too, they can talk AFTER that.



All the security-systems in the world can't protect you against yourself. Willow's pretty much learning that the hard way. If Tara is the only person she has to stay away from, why let her in? She knows it's not a very wise thing to do. Even considering that Tara isn't doing it on purpose she is a risk to Willow. Hmm.. that could easily lead to a repeat of NMR...



It would have been easier if Willow had just explained the situation to Tara earlier on. Unfortunatly she thinks Tara activly caused her situation. After having lived for over 3 years in this condition I don't see her changing that feeling soon.



Still can't figure out why Willow appearantly didn't seek help. I'm not sure what happens if all magic/power is drained from her body but it can't be nice.



I wonder if Tara will stick around at all or just run to keep Willow safe. It must be a shock to her that Willow needs to be protected from her of all people. Plenty of material for a guilt-trip too even though she didn't know what was happening. (she'll blame herself for it anyway)



Yeah, definitly kind of a showstopper this. However, Tara staying around after NMR wouldn't have solved this particulair problem now would it ?? If distance has anything to do with it, it would have made it worse even....



So now I feel sorry for Willow and Tara, for living so long with the wrong perception of each other .



Hmm... a "grey" tendril, if color is significant 'grey' isn't good is it ?? Maybe Tara *is* a demon ?? running & ducking.. nah. It's a bit vampiristic behaviour, wait.. ah yes, parasitic is the word I was looking for. An involuntary parasite I hope, but still not nice.



Lots to work through in this story... with plot-twists like this you'll be forced to update sooner than later .



Grimmy (much more sure about this story ;-)

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Edited by: Grimlock72 at: 1/24/05 6:15 am