Niobe's Silence (updated 7/16/05)

[Emms]

Author Miss Kittys Ball O Yarn
Disclaimer Joss Owns everything. I own nothing... enough said?
Rating Rated R for now, could change
Notes Everything up until the episode Willow the episode Where willow finds the students killed in the teachers lounge in season one. From that point on Its completely AU
Summary Tara is a psychologist brought in on a case involving a young woman lost in a near catatonic silence.
Feedback Would be muchly appreciated.
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"Elective Mutism?" I asked, as Dr Marlow handed the file to me. "Thats my specialty you know, It's what I did my dissertation on."

I admired Dr Marlow, she and I had known each other for quite a long time. Fresh out of the University of Sunnydale she was my first mentor, I worked under her for a number of years before moving to find my passion working with children at The Center.

" I know, that's why we called you, Tara."

"Willow Rosenberg." I read the name on the file. It was written in black pen.

"She was brought here ten years ago, at age fifteen."

"Trauma?" I asked.

"Don't know..."

"Has she spoken at all?"

"Not to the staff, no."

"Visitors?"

"Family? No."

"Friends?"

"Two regulars, a Buffy Summers and Alexander Harris."

I wrote the names down on the front of the folder in my hand. It was always useful to speak to the people closest to the patient in cases like this. "Are you sure this doesn't stem from something organic?" I asked. More often then not, cases like this turned out to be more physiological than psychological. If it was physiological there was very little I would be able to do.

"I assume not. We can't find anything to lead us to that conclusion. Blood-work, x-rays, CAT scans...all came out normal, and it is virtually impossible to determine anything through standardized tests, since she wont answer questions or acknowledge our existence at all.

"What do her parents say?"

"From what we can gather, she was a normal teenager one day...and the next..." Dr Marlow's voice trailed off."Do you want to meet her?"

That was a loaded question and Dr Marlow knew it. I was very interest in this case, but I also liked to get my facts together before meeting patients. Also, I hadn't exactly said that I would take the case yet. Dr Marlow was all to aware of my inability to say no, once personally involved. She was smiling knowingly at me as she waited for me to respond. But I wasn't about to get trapped into this without getting all the information first.

"Not just yet. I'd like to talk to Buffy Summers and Alexander Harris first."

"Suit yourself" Dr. Marlow was smiling.


I wasn't used to working with adults exhibiting signs of elective mutism. Most of my work had involved children with the disorder, so I anticipated this would be much different then what I had done in the past. Still, I was up to the task and had the mentality that If i could get children to speak, then I could get Willow to speak. The techniques would be the same.

Both the good Dr. and myself knew I was going to take the case; after all, my mother had always said that I was a born nurturer with a natural ability to get to the core of people. It was in my blood to try and help where ever I thought I could....and my intuition told me I could be of help. My hesitation was a mere formality. I shook the Dr.'s hand and let myself out.

Getting into my worn, white jeep, I already knew where I was going. First stop: Alexander Harris.

TBC

xoxo
Emms

[ravenousgrape]

Awesome start. You've already got me guessing on enigma!Willow. Call me sick, but I've a feeling it's post-traumatic stress, possibly due to physical or sexual abuse.



Well, we'll see if I'm right about that.

Do not misunderestimate the intellectial brilliantliness of religious fundamentalistics.

[wimpy0729]

EMMS!!!





See me jumping for joy at Emms new fic!!!



Ooh I just know it's going to be another great one. Can't wait to see where you go with this very intriguing story.







I'm still jumping...gimme more please!



Wimpy



"There was plenty of magic." ~ Tara

[wiccanbotanist]

Just got finished reading one of your other fics...and since I liked that one I thought I would come check out this new one. I must say I like it. I can't wait to see where you are going with this.....



-wiccanbotanist

"If truth is stranger than fiction then where are the flying monkeys?" - Daria

[WillowPowered]

ohhh this sounds very interesting, more please.



Jill

~~~~~~~~

Willow - Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs did ya?



Willow Powered | Amber Powered | Alyson Powered



My lack of talent is more than made up for by my enthusiasm.

[tarawhipped]

Very cool idea Emms! You haven't even introduced her yet, and I'm already feeling weepy over poor lil' Willow catatonic for ten years. Yikes. I can't wait to see how this plays out.



-Cameron

---

What should I be but just what I am? - Edna St.Vincent Millay

[logansgurl]

Wow! Definitely sounds intriguing. Can't wait to more. Update soon.



Nica

Edited by: logansgurl at: 1/25/05 7:14 pm

[terra21]

Ooooo, I like this. Sounds like it's gonna be very interesting.





terra

[xonethousandtears08x]

My thoughts exactly, WillowPowered. This is very interesting, indeed.

[willohand]

well im already into it.no surprise there.so? the way that mind of yours work must give me an invite to walk around.

just think about it before you say no.i men hey im one of your biggest fans so you know i just open a few doors and woooo

hooooooo unlock your magic. oh please oh please oh please.

well you think about it.

um on to this new fic of yours. oh yeah me likes. me likes a lot.talk to u soon.when is your next update? okay dont you get me started...

[hermitfish]

Hey Emms, you've got a very interesting idea here. Lots of potential and I know you've got the writing talent to take it to a good place...wherever that might be. Looking forward to more.



~Cyd

---

All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people.

~Eugene Pallette in My Man Godfrey (1936)



Altered Shadows

[Rhiannon9891]

Hi Emms,

Now I know you are trying to kill me....4 wonderful Emms fics to run to at once....I'm gonna need more running shoes...



This looks very interesting....more please



Rhiannon

She is like a cat in the dark

And then she is the darkness

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

Thanks to everyone that has responded to this story. I want to reply to you all individually but I've been too much tonight and my wee little fingers hurt. I will, however get replies out tomorrow. I love you all and thank you for reading. Without further ado, here's chapter 2



All Disclaimers Apply

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I sat in the jeep outside of the hospital. I needed a moment to clear my head and think about all I'd just learned. This was turning out to be one crazy day. I sat Willow's folder in the passenger's seat for safekeeping. I would read it later, perhaps over some coffee.



I turned the key in the ignition, it roared to life and I breathed a sigh of relief. It was no secret that my beloved Jeep was in it's last days of life, so every time the engine kicked on was like a little mini celebration for me.



Knowing nothing more than what Mary Marlow had told me and what little information I knew I would find in Willow's file, all I had to go on were assumptions. Assumptions were not the best place to start, but most of the time, in my line of work, it's all I have to go on. I chewed on the end of my fingernail. It was a bad habit, but it was formed in childhood and not an easy comfort to let go of.



I pulled the car out onto the street. Taking a left, I would swing by The Center and see if I could track down Alexander's address. I looked down at my watch, It was 1:45 and there was a good possibility that Mr. Harris was at work. If I was lucky maybe I could get a work address as well, that way I could get some information today. I really was curious about Willow and wanted to meet her, so the faster this process was, the better.



I drove the three miles to The Center and parked in the parking lot. I thought about what I assumed to be true about Willow.



Assumption number one: Willow was using silence as a way of taking control. I hoped that talking with Alexander would give me what I needed, to figure out what or possibly who Willow was trying to control.



Assumption number two: Willow had the ability to speak. Considering her background as a normal functioning teenager prior to all this, it was the only conclusion I could draw.



Assumption number three: Alexander and Buffy would be willing to talk to me about Willow. I'd had five years in the field since college and more times then not found that this was the most difficult aspect of the job. Sometimes getting parents to open up and be honest about what was going on was harder than pulling teeth. I didn't know if it would be the same with this pair, but it seemed a safe bet to make, at the moment.

******************************************



I pulled my car up to a construction site. It was busy and there were people in hard hats milling all around. Checking the paper in my hand to make sure I had the right address, I got out of the jeep.



It was a blazingly sunny day and I had to use my hand as a shield against the glare of the sun. The light seemed to be reflecting itself off of the hard hats, making it almost impossible for me to see.



I had no idea what Alexander Harris looked like. I'd have to ask someone. Spotting a man who looked like he knew who was who, I approached him. "Hi, I'm looking for a Alexander Harris?" I said.



The man just stood there. I couldn't tell if he had understood what I said, there was after-all, a lot of noise to contend with out here, but Before I could ask again he snorted and pointed to a point across the work-yard."You must mean Xander...That's him over there."



I squinted to see who he was pointing to. I followed the direction of his finger and saw a man in a white shirt and a pair of worn blue jeans. He wasn't wearing a hard hat. This Xander character was pretty tall and he had shaggy brown hair. "him?" I asked just to make sure.



The man nodded. He didn't waste anymore time on me as he was already half-way across the yard before I could offer him my thanks.



I approached Xander, he was regarding me with interest. I surmised by the way he was watching me, that there were not many women in long skirts that came walking around the construction site each day.



"Hi. Mr. Harris?" I asked. I had worn long sleeves this morning and I could already feel the perspiration forming under my clothes.



"Xander." He clarified.



"Xander." I corrected myself . " My name is Tara Maclay, I'm going to be working with Willow Rosenberg, and I was hoping I could ask you a few questions."



"Shoot" he said, crossing his arms in front of himself.



He seemed like a nice enough guy to me. Goofy and appropriately aloof. I decided to jump right in. I was never much for beating around the bush an awful lot."How long have you known Willow?"



"All my life, well, practically. We've been best friends since preschool."



"That's a long time..." I paused before continuing "I know this may be difficult, but what can you tell me about Willow's condition?"



"Look...I don't know how much you know about Sunnydale, but there are some pretty strange things that happen around here..."



"Did something strange happen to Willow?" I prodded. I sensed there was something Xander was holding back, I just couldn't put my finger on what it was.



He took a long, tired breath before continuing. "There was an incident in school..some kids we knew were...killed in the teachers lounge. Willow was the one that found them. I guess that's when It happened. She was never quite right after that. Then one day ,she just stopped being Willow all together..."



There was a loud commotion at the far end of the work-yard

"Listen, I have to get back to work okay?"



I thanked him for his time and he excused himself.



As I got back into the jeep I realized I was left with more questions then when I'd arrived. Xander had given me something to go on though. Suddenly the prospect of trauma seemed a likely suspect. Hopefully Buffy would be able to tell me something more.



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TBC

I can wax philisophically on a variety of different subjects...that doesn't,however, mean that I have anything constructive to add to the conversation.

--- Me

Edited by: MissKittys Ball O Yarn at: 1/29/05 3:14 pm

[DarkWiccan]

Keep going! This is a fascinating premise. I can't wait to see where you take it.



Cheers

DW

[hidden watson]

Emms,



How do you do it? Write so imaginative, yet different, stories, all at the same time? You have amazing ability to create and weave situations that hook us in immediately.



Enough of groveling (well, you can neve have too much groveling ), this is a great start, please continue.

------

quiet thoughts

[hermitfish]

Yay, you, doing double time on the parts. I wonder if she will get a chance for a more thorough interview with Xander later...it seems like she has a lot more to discuss with him. Perhaps Buffy will be more helpful...I know that I want to find out what's going on. Patiently waiting in adoration.



~Cyd

---

All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people.

~Eugene Pallette in My Man Godfrey (1936)



Altered Shadows

[Willow18]

You definitely have me intrigued. I look forward to reading the next installment to see where you take this premise. So Sunnydale still has "unusual" occurrences. Interesting. And Willow. Now I'm all curious.

[Irishgrl3]

Ooh new fic! I really like this so far, very intriguing indeed. I guess next on to Buffy for a few more answers. I am interested to see how Willow will react when she finally meets Tara. Great start Emms!

-anna

[Rhiannon9891]

Emms,

Very interesting. If anybody can reach Willow, Tara can. Although I believe that there is going to be much turmoil and angst ahead...this being sunnydale and all...



more please...



Rhiannon

She is like a cat in the dark

And then she is the darkness

[silentinformer]

WOW very interesting and addictive. So willow is mute my her own choosing could be trauma or something i assume maybe cause of something that happened to her. anway great start and can't wait for more cause this is so good



Silent

It's like I can't breathe, It's like I can't see anything, Nothing but you, I'm addicted to you



- Kelly Clarkson "Addicted"

[sam darls]

Emms..this is so great. I love it. It's so intriguing and really interesting . Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

Some replies as promised. The next update should be within the next couple day... I have a lot of stories out here that need updating but this one is at the top of my list. Thanks everyone! Luv ya!

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Ravenousgrape Hi thanks for leavin' feedback! You must be a psychology student? Well, normally you would be right about physical or sexual abuse. But I find those subjects rather hard to write about, so I think I'll stick with much safer post traumatic stress brought on by.... um... killing... and vampires. You know, the all around violence of Sunnydale. It was just too much for our Willow to handle.



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Wimpy yay! Jumping for joy is good! It is good right....?



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Wiccanbotanist Aww how sweet of you... cause with the reading of one of my other fics... which one pray tell?

Im glad you like this one... and oh...don't worry.. *sly smile* I'm going places alright...



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Jill Yes Ma'am! more to come. <------- this cow has gum



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Cameron Oh no! I made you weepy! *passes out tissues* All better now?



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terra very interesting indeed. <------ as is this pair.



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xonethousandtears I'm glad you are liking so far, thank you for the feedback. you can have the jumping banana because I don't know what else to do with him, and I'm afraid he'll spoil.



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Willohand Oooo *jumping for joy* You're my biggest fan? how sweet! .....here's a key... I think there's some magic behind door number three... not that one! I said door number three! door number two's the bathroom hehe... I need a sign for that door.... (I'm sorry if that made very little sense.)



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Nica and more you shall... that is, just as soon as I get it posted.



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Cyd me? writing talent? I so... don't have much in the way of writing talent... But I can say that I do have a nice set of.... eye brows... yes sir-ree... eye brows... now that's the ticket right there... *walks away from computer mumbling something about eyebrows)

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Rhiannon! hehe... I got you a little gifty-poo *hands you a shabbily wrapped box* Yes that's right! Its a new pair of running shoes! I picked them out just for you. They are size "cute" I hope they fit...



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DarkWiccan *does a happy little dance* I have a fascinating premise! <------ I don't know why I added this guy... but I get the feeling he's spent his life full of fascinating premises.



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hidden watson How do I do it you ask? a lot of sugar..... and gummy bears... sometimes there's gummy bears but Don't tell anyone....cause I'm saving the red ones all for myself! *laughing evilly*



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Cyd Hi there again to my favorite authoress!

As for a more thorough interview with Xander... I can definitely see that happening...But I don't know how much help Buffy will be.... cause she's more about the fighting....and ...um...punching...Who knows though, she might give Tara something useful to go on...



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Willow18 curiosity killed the cat you know.... but in this case the curious cat got a sock full of catnip... so feel free.



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Anna thanks sweetie!



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Silentinformer thank you for reading and subsequently enjoying....and then with the leaving feedback . Thank you on all accounts.



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Sam darls Thank you Sam I'm glad you are liking.



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xoxo

Emms

I can wax philisophically on a variety of different subjects...that doesn't,however, mean that I have anything constructive to add to the conversation.

--- Me

[stillrunning]

YAY! A new fic!! And a new and different one at that...LOVE IT! Can't wait for more!!

"Heaven's not a place that you go when you die...it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive"

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

Stillrunning Hi there sweetie I'm just finishing up the next update, so it shouldn't be too long. Thank you for enjoying and leaving feedback. I really appreciate it.



xoxo

Emms

[little miss 666]

oh! oh! *gets excited* oh! I LOVE THESE FICS! I'm like a huuuuuuuUUuuge fan of pshycological stories, my sisters in her fourth year of pshyc in uni and so the topics always been really interesting to me lol.



I so just completely love all of this ALREADY ur amazing! I don't usually hook into a fic until the third or fourth chapter! Be prrrrroooouuud! haaha



I'm so looking forward to how things progress, i have a feeling that it's gna be a long haul to recovery for willow, but somehow...with tara lookn after her, i don't think she'll take too long to come round, riiiight?



so excited about this, or maybe i'm just overtired?? could be either, oh well, right now it's the coolness of ur fic!



i bounce for you!













UPDATE! NOW! NOW! NOW!





- Bellness

The shape of you

Is etched inside

My bruised and somewhat sculptured mind

[wiccanbotanist]

Well I was checking out A Different Life because I wanted to check out the sequel and it helps to read things before you start sequels. Although this is not the correct thread...I did really like those.



As for this one..2nd chapter anyways, cause I've already commented on the first. I'm wondering if Tara is going to talk to Xander more because that was a really short interview. Unless she is doing just some quick thing to meet with them before she talks to Willow? Which I don't mind really because we get quicker to the Tara and Willow interaction. And that I'm sure everyone is at the edge of their seats waiting for....



-wiccanbotanist

"If truth is stranger than fiction then where are the flying monkeys?" - Daria

[lil fled]

Another story! Very curious and very happy because you're such a good writer!



Seems like it is just a quick talk... Which is enough I think for now. I wonder what Buffy'll tell her.

------------------------------------------------------------------

‘I like being in complete and utter control. I like to dominate!’

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

All Disclaimers Apply





part three



*************



As it turned out Rovello Drive had been a bust. Buffy hadn't been home when I'd gotten there, so I'd opted to leave a note on the door with my name and phone number written on it.



Having nothing else to do this afternoon, I decided to go back to my office at The Center to do a little paperwork. I was never the paperwork type, so it was forever piling up on my desk. This would be a good opportunity to get some of it filed away.



But as I soon discovered, it wasn't going to be as easy as I had envisioned it.



I eyed the stack of papers that was living on the far corner of my desk, then I began the task of Mentally organizing them by order of importance. I would do the section on the top first and then....But being the procrastinator I am, I was easily distracted.



My attention was quickly directed away from the large stack of paper-work. My wondering gaze landed on Willow's folder. I touched the edge of the stiff paper with the tip of my finger. I was biting my bottom lip. I moved my finger up to trace over the letters spelling her name at the top of the folder. Just as I was about to open it, the secretary from the front office poked her head around the doorway.



"I'm sorry Tara, your 4:00 o'clock is here."



"I'll be right there...Thank you Holly." I took my hand away from Willow's file. There would be no time to open it now. As I left my office, I was a bit disappointed.



I didn't want to admit it but curiosity was beginning to get the better of me. I came to the determination that tomorrow, even if I hadn't gotten into contact with Buffy Summers I would go back to the hospital and meet with Willow.

******************************************

I arrived at the hospital at 11:30 the next morning. I wanted to make a quick stop by Dr Marlow's office to make sure all the paperwork had found it's way into the right hands and that I was approved for my meeting with Willow. As I stepped through the door, Mary greeted me with a welcoming smile.



"Couldn't stay away huh?"



"I guess not." I replied. Pulling out the chair opposite Mary's desk, I sat down.



Handing her my visitors pass, I watched as she slipped the paper with my name and picture on it out of the plastic sheathing. She turned the card over and initialed the back. She handed the plastic slip and the card back across the desk. I took it and slipped the paper back into the see-through holder. I pinned it to my shirt with the metal clip. My fingers were shaking slightly as I did this and my stomach felt as if there were a million pebbles tumbling around in it.



To say I was nervous would have been an understatement. I was absolutely petrified. If someone was to ask me to explain the reason though, I strongly doubt that I could've.

*****************************************

Dr. Marlow had insisted on accompanying me to the upper ward. I was a bit put off by this, but I tried to keep the irritation out of my voice as we walked down the hallway. I would have preferred to meet Willow for the first time on my own. However, I knew Dr. Marlow was just being nosy, and I didn't want to offend her as she was a good friend. But still, I couldn't help wishing she had stayed in her office.



I had always gotten the feeling that Mary thought I was a bit too even tempered; so much so, that she seemed to take great pleasure in catching me off guard. It was a secret game she played, but I had figured it out years ago. There wasn't much that she could do to surprise me these days...or so I thought.



The first thing I noticed about Willow was her hair. It was as red as flames. Neatly brushed, it hung in long red wisps that ended just below her shoulders.



Dr. Marlow was looking at me and I got the feeling she was gaging my reaction. Not wanting to give away too much of what I was feeling I acted as if I didn't know she was studying me.



Willow was in a chair, It didn't look to be the most comfortable of chairs, it was wooden and had very little padding. Willow's back was to me. Her chair sat in front of a big picture window.

We were on the tenth floor so there was a pretty good view of the grounds, but Willow's gaze seemed to be concentrated on a point straight ahead of her.

The way she was looking intently out the window made me want to believe that there was something out there worth so much attention, but I knew if I were to look, there would be nothing but blue sky and clouds.



My heart suddenly went out to her. I approached, but she didn't acknowledge my presence.



I nodded for Mary to leave us alone for a moment. I was thankful that the room was nearly deserted. It was a large, cold room. The linoleum was a stark white as were the walls. The only evidence that someone had tried to make the space feel cozy was an over-sized yellow and green rug in the center of the room. I wondered then, what it must be like to live in a place like this day in and day out. There was one other person in the room with us, but she inhabited the far corner of the room and seemed quite occupied with the television set.



I knelt down next to Willow's chair. "Hi Willow." I said this as if I really expected her to answer me. She didn't answer me.



I noticed the stunning, deep emerald of her eyes. They were the largest eyes I had ever seen. They seemed to dance as the glare from the window reflected light onto the surface of those green orbs. This was unsettling. It gave her a spark that only added to the strangeness of her immobility.



I noticed also, the fact that she wasn't rigid. Her muscles were relaxed as if she were just sitting quietly, and at any moment she was going to get up and go do something else. Except, for her, that moment never seemed to come.



I knew that if I was going to help Willow, I'd have to start right away. As of this moment I had the upper hand. She had never seen me before and didn't know what to expect. I could use this to my advantage. "Hi Willow" I said again. I smiled brightly, even though she made no move to look in my direction.



"Mind if I sit down next to you?"



No response.



I pulled a chair from a nearby table over to where Willow was sitting and sat down.

A comfortable silence fell over me as we sat there. I still had no way of knowing if she even knew that I was there, but somehow I got the feeling that she did. Maybe it was wishful thinking. "You don't feel like talking huh?" I asked. I opened my back-pack and pretended to search around in it as if I were looking for a special treasure. I pulled out a spiral note-book from the bag. "Maybe you feel like writing?" I held the book out to her and only when it was obvious that she wasn't going to reach out and take it did I set it in her lap. " I love writing." I said, trying to keep the one-sided conversation going. She didn't move a muscle, she did nothing to let me know she was hearing me, yet I got a sense that she heard and understood everything I said to her.

***************************************

"Well?"



Dr. Marlow was looking at me expectantly. "Well what?" I said. I knew what she wanted me to say, but I wasn't going to give her the professional satisfaction of admitting that I may have bitten off more than I could chew. "I don't know....there's something about her Mary..." I paused, searching for the right words. "I think she's in there somewhere. I just have to find her."



"You'll take her case, then? Officially?"



I couldn't miss the pleased expression on Dr Marlow's face. I nodded, a smile breaking across my lips. "Did you really think I wouldn't?"



"No... I knew you would...once you saw her. "



"How do you mean?"



"You've always had a thing for red-heads."



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TBC

xoxo

Emms

I can wax philisophically on a variety of different subjects...that doesn't,however, mean that I have anything constructive to add to the conversation.

--- Me

Edited by: MissKittys Ball O Yarn  at: 4/14/05 5:37 pm

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

little miss 666 hehehe you have some infectious enthusiasm !



And I've hooked you already? woo hoo... Oh I am proud alright.



I hope you like this next part as much as you've liked the previous ones















right backatcha sweetie!



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wiccanbotanist thank you for your comments about A Different Life...It was my first fic ever... so, it's always nice to here when people liked it.



I can definitely see a second Xander interview in the future. The first one was very short, though I though Tara got a lot out of it. I didn't want Xander to give her too much information to start out with because then she would have nothing to figure out for herself. And Xander doesn't know Tara so it stands to reason that he would be tight with the Sunnydale information, especially if it involves Willow.



I hope you like this next update...



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thank you lil fled for leaving feedback and reading my little story.



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hehehe onethousandtears I'm glad you liked. Who could resist a red head?



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I can wax philisophically on a variety of different subjects...that doesn't,however, mean that I have anything constructive to add to the conversation.

--- Me

Edited by: MissKittys Ball O Yarn at: 1/29/05 2:08 pm

[xonethousandtears08x]

lol. always had a thing for redheads.