Niobe's Silence (updated 7/16/05)

[DreamLover]

He Emms,



I couldn't wait to read your update and it is great one. I almost forgot to eat my ice cream.... because I was so



Anyway....... Great update but I all ready said that.

Wooohoo go Willow spitting out her meds. I hope Tara will find them. So she can put two and two together figuring out that Willow is being drugged.



Willow walking!!!!!!!! is making me



Great update, great update can't wait for more.



Henny

[hermitfish]

Hey Emms



In lieu of asking questions that you will creatively attend to later (although the whole "I speak but nobody listens." and Willow's loud thoughts has me in perky contemplation) and once again saying how much I adore your work, I'll simply give a short list of country music warnings.



1. Don't listen to country music while doing roof work...Patsy Cline crooning 'Hurt me now get it over' will get you one step closer to the edge than you ever expected. Same thing goes for country music and operating heavy machinery or handling sharp objects...proceed with caution.



2. If you have the sudden inexplicable urge to buy a pickup truck, get a mullet, cry your troubles away with an alcoholic beverage, and/or grab yourself and spit...stop listening immediately.



Otherwise I think you'll be okay. Moderation is the key.



This message brought to you by your friendly neighborhood Cyd.

---

When I'm sitting here with you, I don't even think about the slime people.

~The very romantic lead in The Slime People (1962)



Altered Shadows

[littlecrazy80]

Great update! Hopefully Willow soon breaks out. I like the progress they are making.



*lil´c*

"I am S-E-X-Y" Amber at the FedCon



SweetAmber ~~~ SweetAmber group ~~~ Sam´s melody

[kindagay]

Hey sweetie ,



Okay first.... Update - Yay!



Now, to the feedback.......



First, yay for Willow not swallowing her pills

& her little thought process was cute (at the start) but also, kinda got me all curious & worried about what could have happened to poor Willow - The whole

Quote:

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So I wait for whatever it is to come through the door and devour me

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does not sound at all of the good.



Nurse Karen is nice, which is good - I'm definitely glad to find out that not all the staff looking after Willow are like 'Dirk'.



Now, it seems some progress is being made, which is great When Willow doesn't take her meds, Tara can see that Will is in there, somewhere - any chance Tara can discover that handy little fact? oh, & then demand that they stop filling Willow with drugs that she doesn't need?



So, the television woman can hear Willow's thoughts can she intriguing. That could certainly come in handy.



Now, I must rant a little more about the ineptness of the health professionals who are 'looking after' Willow. Surely someone must have seen Willow walk at some point in the past 10 years? But, because she doesn't talk or, apparently move very much, they've just assummed that she CAN'T walk Do these people know ANYTHING about Willow at all? She's been there for 10 years for goodness sake - surely they KNOW that she can & will walk?



Okay rant over - with no use of Bob this time. He did get a little clingy, but, I was just, borrowing him for that one bit of feedback & now I return him safely to you, here you go I gave him a nice hot meal & some warm milk - he should be getting sleepy by now, so, he'll be all calm for a while.



Okay, must go now, I've rambled far too much already



I eagerly await an update (to this and/or any of your other wonderful fics)



Hugs

Jeanne

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Tara: “Let me guess – you want me to lie on your lap while you feed me grapes, but my sweet, shy, precious, honey you’ve been too shy to ask – yes?” - GROWW by WannaFriendsBe



My very own Willow & Tara website

[terra21]

Emms,



First, I apologize for missing the last update. It was great as well as this one. It's so sweet the way Tara has taken to Willow. I also find Willow's thought processes interesting, I look forward to Tara getting to the root cause of her mutism. Of course, if I were in a room with Tara I'd probably be struck with the muteness too.

Continuous Train of Thought

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terra

[hidden watson]

I feel sad for Willow, 10 years in a place where she gets treated no better than a piece of meat. What does she see in her dream / recollection that scares her so?

Quote:

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I wait for whatever it is to come through the door and devour me ... the thing I'm most afraid of.

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The fear is real and it's why she's been in hospital for 10 years.



Tara trusting the television woman. Like others I'm intrigued to know if the TV woman hears the actual sound of Willow's thoughts or if she's telepathic.



And I wonder how much progress Tara has made in trying to speak with Xander and Buffy.



Many questions. I know you'll give us the answers eventually. Good work.

------

quiet thoughts

[Nellinoz]

Just found this fic and I lurve it

Can`t wait for the update

Nell

[Grimlock72]

I don't follow why anyone would assume Willow can't walk. In hospitals they often transport patients in wheelchairs just to be sure, doesn't mean the patients can't walk. Besides who's to say how far Willow can walk ?? She hasn't done it often so her legs might cause some problems.



I wonder what test and treatements were tried on Willow early on when she was admitted. After ten years she of course is more on a sort of 'maintenance' schedule as opposed to 'repair/fix'. That's hardly surprising, it's what the medications currently are for... to minimize maintenance really.



The idea of Willow physically being unable to do things (like get a glass of water) seems to be at least somewhat self re-inforced. A mute person can still get herself a glass of water me thinks... unless there's more than just the not-speaking.



It's good to know that Willow at least likes on nurse in her current 'home'. Too bad she can't identify who-ever stepped into her room and scared her into the hospital. Maybe we could ask Nemo, assuming he was in that fish-tank .



Would be most interesting if Tara reads the entire file on Willow Rosenberg. Should be a lot of information in there, ten years in hospital tends to cause that . No doubt she'll disagree with some of the conclusion in there, but for some reason I can't imagine Tara being the only competent shrink in town. (though we've seen that before in movies ).



Maybe Willow just needs some non-professional normal human attention ??



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[wimpy0729]

Sheesh!! Stupid bus system. Once again, I must not have enunciated since the feedback bus took me to Nairobi. It really is lovely this time of year, but alas, I had requested to be taken to Niobe's.



Anyway, I come home from a weekend of fun and frolick and to my delight, am greeted with a new update, and also re-read the one before.



I gotta say, I can definitely imagine Willow's thoughts being so loud and powerful, that it would almost be possible for anyone to hear them. And what an interesting thing that would be. I like TV lady btw. Maybe Tara can get some useful information from her,



And I liked Tara's first instinct about the yogurt incident. I vote for throwing him out the closest window. Oh well, maybe later. Protective Tara is so hot!



Great job. Can't wait to see them moving closer together.



Can't wait for more!



Wimpy

"There was plenty of magic." ~ Tara

[Irishgrl3]

Nice update Emms! Loved your description of Lucy, I could totally see her sitting there with the chocolate pieces and the TV. Willow spitting out the pills, good for her! Maybe it will make her less foggy. Looking forward to see where Tara is taking Willow.

-anna

[stillrunning]

YAY! Another awesome Emms update! WOOT!



Ok sorry, got a little too excited there. Anywho, it's really great to see even more progress being made. That lady watching the TV freaked me out a little bit, what with the whole being able to hear Willow thinking thing, but maybe that'll come in handy in the future. It obviously helped in that instance. And good on Willow for spitting out the meds. Shows that she has at least some semblence of what's going on. Anyways, can't wait for more, as always!

"Heaven's not a place that you go when you die...it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive"

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

Hi kittens!



sorry for the lack of updates... Inspiration for this fic just hasn't struck me in the head yet... But I'll see what I can do to get those...um...err...creative juices flowing again..



Thanks to everyone for reading!





xoxo

Emms

To the smut! ~ Me

[stillrunning]

AHH!! Writer's block on this one too?!?!

*Takes out gernade launcher* Where's that damn Fairy at again?! Grrr

"Heaven's not a place that you go when you die...it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive"

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

hellllllooo everyone! Sorry, not an update just yet, but I just wanted to let you know that there will be one shortly. I thought all of you would be happy to know that I have been mused back into action!







xoxo

Emms

[GayNow]

Emms,



You did it to me again. You brought my attention to one of your stories and now I am addicted. Why, oh why do you do that to me?



So here is another fic that I'm just loving. I mean really loving. And I'm torn between wanting an update for this and an update for Sunflowers....and an update for Simple Matters. Sheesh! You've got me addicted to so much!



Okay. I'm going to go to the corner and twitch in withdrawal now...while waiting impatiently for updates.



Carleen

‘Well hello you big old monster you, I fart in your general direction!’ --Willow "WtVS: Episode One: Hellmouth High



"I support your lifestyle choice. You go gay girl." -- Anya "A Hot and Heavy Halloween"

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

Hello everyone, I'll get individual responses out in a moment, but first...here's the update.



Note: I fought with myself for a couple hours this morning about the tense in this fic... I keep switching at odd places from past to present to future without regard to the rules of doing so.... but after changing and de-changing and re-changing again...I've come to the conclusion that the rules just don't work for me in this story...I kind of have to go with the natural flow....so if this irritates you...please accept my humble apologies.



All Disclaimers Apply





I had clearance to take Willow from the building, which surprised me at first. When I'd inquired about it this morning, I'd had been certain that it was going to take months of bureaucracy to get through all the red tape of hospital policies that I was sure were wrapped around me as tight as police line, sectioning off the things I couldn't do from the things that I could. But that hadn't been the case.



When I'd made my way to Mary's office that morning, I had been fully prepared for the frustrating wait I knew was to come. I mean, certainly Sheila and Ira Rosenberg hadn't signed papers releasing Willow to the outside world. Or at least that's what I'd thought at the time.



Actually, I'd yet to speak with Willow's parents, as they were currently out of the country. But nothing I'd come across in the past would've led me to believe that two parents who hadn't visited their child in the last seven years would be overly concerned about whether or not she got out for a walk every now and then.



I'd been wrong though. Mary had been surprised by my request but took no more than thirty minutes to locate the proper paperwork that would allow me to take Willow for a short walk around the grounds. If I wanted to leave hospital property though, that would be a whole new issue, Mary had been sure to warn me. I was ecstatic, I'd certainly settle for a walk around the grounds, even if that's all it could be.



But that had been this morning, and as of right now, i find my stomach attempting to tie itself into one of those incredibly complicated Boy Scout knots. I keep thinking that somehow I was wrong... that what happened yesterday had been some kind of fluke and when I see Willow today, it will have been like nothing at all has happened. I pray as I step out of the elevator that whatever magic was working yesterday continues to work today.

*********************************



We make our way down the white corridor. I am happy to see that Willow has maintained the capability to walk. But my sense of happiness is soon tempered by the fact that I'v found I have to keep my hand on her elbow at all times or she stops all movement, simply standing there, unmoving, until I replace my hand. This makes walking a little slow. But despite the slowness factor, we persevere and soon find our rhythm.



We are now moving at a somewhat comfortable pace even if it is a little slower than normal, which is fine with me. I don't want to go to quickly anyway, as this is Willow's first time walking in a long time. Something doesn't set right with me about that though.



If Willow had been truly immobile this whole time, wouldn't her legs be useless by now? I was no medical doctor, by any means, but I was fairly certain that such immobility would have completely atrophied the muscles in her legs by now. She must have been walking at some point in her day...but how could she have managed that without any of the staff observing her? All these questions tumble through my brain at break-neck speed. There was something very strange going on here. The pieces just weren't adding up.



The day is sunny and bright. As we round the corner. I see light spilling through the double-glass doors at the entrance of the hospital. I dodge confused glances from most of the staff as Willow and I make our way down this final corridor. Everyone we pass seems to be surprised to see the formerly immobile woman walking with uncharacteristic ease down the polished linoleum hallway. I wonder silently, why no one had, in all the time willow had been here, cared to find out if she could actually walk.



I can feel an annoyance toward the staff, as a whole, boiling to the surface and have to push it back down. It will do no good to get angry about things I can't change. I want to keep this experience as light and upbeat as possible. I force myself to smile at their open-mouthed stares. Besides, I myself, hadn't inquired of anyone as to whether or not Willow had demonstrated the capability to walk. I had assumed right alone with them...which makes me no better than they.



From now on I will be more careful. I will evaluate every aspect of this woman's care...leave no stone unturned, that sort of thing. Something inside tells me that I will have a lot of stones to turn over, before I actually find the root of Willow's problem.



I wander if Willow really knows what we're about to do. I look at her through the corner of my eye. She seems to be alert. Her head is tilted to the side at a gentle angle and there is a very light, very delicate, but very there smile on her lips. I feel a glow of something unnameable start in the center of my chest. I take this as yet another small sign that she is in-fact in there somewhere, and that she isn't just reacting to something I am doing to her, but rather, she is as affected by it as I am.



I breathe deeply as I take my hand from Willow's arm. She stops walking and stands there as I push the door open. " Come, lets go outside?" I say, hoping my suggestion will be enough to spur her into movement, even though I know already that that won't be the case. And It isn't.



I decide it would be best to move slowly and to try not to push her too hard, so I reach across and take her fingers into my hand as I can't hold the door open and reach far enough to take her elbow at the same time. Apparently I hadn't thought far enough ahead when i'd let go of her in the first place..



Her fingers feel warm pressed into my palm. My own fingers are tingling a bit as I pull her to me. I have the fear then, that my hands are going to go numb. I want to shake them, to wake them up from this incredible buzz that's threatening to travel the length of my arm, But I can't.



The moment I begin to pull her to me, her feet began to move and she is walking to me. I pass her hand into my other as I slide the first hand up the back of her arm. Touching her elbow slightly, I let go of her fingers. I can't put into words the reason why I feel the need to let go, it certainly would be easier to lead her around by the hand, but there is something too uncomfortably pleasant in that tingling contact.



I am hoping that perhaps a change in scenery is just exactly what she needs. I know it's what I needed. Spending day after day in that sterile smelling building is starting to wear on me, so I can only imagine what the lack of stimulation is doing to Willow.



This first walk will be a short one. I keep repeating this to myself even as our feet continue their steady beat on the pavement. I find myself glancing at her out of the corner of my eye every now and then, without allowing my gaze to come into full contact with any part of her body.



I don't know why I do this, it isn't like I not supposed to interact with her. I am her psychologist after-all, it is kinda expected that I interact with her... and if it isn't, Then I've been doing my job all wrong up until this point.



I force my eyes upward then, to look at her boldly. My breath catches in my throat at that same moment. Out here, in this light, away from the florescent and washed-out glare of the hospital setting, she looks perfectly normal. The word stunning, keeps flicking through my mind like the scary scene in a movie. The kind where even though you cover your eyes with both hands you still find yourself looking at the picture through the spaces between your fingers. This is like that. I can't stop her beauty as it wraps itself around me. The light shining on her red hair only seems to add to the glow around her. She is absolutely beautiful. I can feel my heartbeat speed up in my chest and I know I shouldn't be having these kinds of thoughts. I feel almost sick with guilt then and the urge to turn around and take us back to the hospital is becoming hard to deny. But I manage to keep that impulse at bay. This isn't about me after-all, it's about Willow, and what's best for her.



**********************************************



Inwardly I am grimacing with pain, it has been so long since I've used my legs... but thanks to Karen, who comes everyday to exercise them for me, I've retained most of my ability to make them work but it is still difficult. Only the look on Tara's face is enough to keep me going. I can tell that I am making her happy...and that makes me happy. So it's all good, in the round-a-bout way. Except for the pain, but that can be ignored if it means Tara gets to be happy... I am beginning to realize that she is the driving force behind a lot of the things I find myself doing these days.



Spitting the pills out had become easier and easier to do although last night was more difficult than yesterday and this morning put together.



I've been on the pills for so long that I'm was sure my body has become addicted to them. And it explains why, last night I lay in bed racked in tremors and coated with a heavy sweat...but even that was better than almost not being when you obviously are. And I've found that the longer I go without them the stronger I become... the more self-sufficient.



When alone though, I'll have to pretend that nothing has changed. There is some part of me, when with Tara, that wants to please her... to do things I know she want's me to do...



The logical plan would have been to pretend everything is normal until all the medication has out of my system and I gain full use of all my body parts...then make a break for it. But all these logical plans seem to fall right out the window when I'm with her. And it's risky to my escape, but I know there will be no pretending with Tara.



As we walk the path around the hospital, I silently wonder for the first time, what my old friends Xander and Buffy are up to. Do they think about me? Do they miss me? It has been so long since I've felt the bonds of their friendship. And even though I see them from time to time, it has always been through the medicated haze of the drugs they were pumping into me. It wasn't the same as it had been when we were all friends. I miss that, I think.



But Tara is here, and the dull ache inside my chest seems to be lessened by the touch of her hand on the back of my arm. I wan't more of the contact and silently wish that she will slip her fingers down the length of my arm to touch the palm of my hand with them. But she doesn't. In fact, I can't recall her even looking at me this whole time. I don't have long to develop a complex about this though, before I begin to pick up on something else going on in the space between us. A distinctive vibe. It's a slow rush of warmth and I feel more human than I have in so long. I can tell she's looking at me now and I want to return the gaze...I need to return the gaze, but I can't make my neck muscles react.

*********************************



I'm watching them out of the window in my office now. Is this how low I've sunk? Spying? It just isn't my style. But I can't help it. The connection between them is so strong it's nearly a solid entity. I can see it flowing off of them in brilliant waves. And it is that spark of recognition that has always been the one thing I couldn't break. Even now, in this set-up, it is no different. Maybe I should throw in the towel? Give up even? These thoughts flash through my mind but are instantly knocked out again. I am a scientist after all...I will just have to sit back and see how this plays out. For better or for worse I'll see it through. Besides...I'm not exactly down and out just yet, I still have a couple tricks up my sleeve.



TBC



Hope you all enjoy this update...our girls seem to be moving along fairly nicely....



*scampers away to write out individual replies*



xoxo

Emms

To the smut! ~ Me

Edited by: MissKittys Ball O Yarn  at: 4/16/05 1:58 pm

[GayNow]

Emms~



Thanks so much for the update! I've been going through update withdrawals lately, so this hit the spot.



I'm really fascinated with this story, Emms. There's so much here to take in and digest. In some ways, it's almost overwhelming. But, at the same time, it's just enough. The pace seems to flow perfectly. You have a wonderful way of taking your time with the story, with the characters. The depth and complexities of their thoughts are amazing. That really allows the story to get inside the reader and take root. What a wonderful thing.



The POV of the mystery guest at the end of this update intrigues me. I can't wait to learn more about this new element.



Keep up the great work, Emms. You've got me hooked on all of your stories. So whichever you update next is fine with me. Just as long as you keep updating.



Carleen

---

‘Well hello you big old monster you, I fart in your general direction!’ --Willow "WtVS: Episode One: Hellmouth High



"I support your lifestyle choice. You go gay girl." -- Anya "A Hot and Heavy Halloween"

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

Thank you all for responding! I'm sorry it's been so long between updates, and even more sorry that it's taken me so long to get these replies posted. I really do appreciate all the feedback I've gotten. Thank you all.





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Henny, (little minx) hehe. Please eat your ice cream sweetie...I wouldn't want it to be all melty....like...ice cream soup.



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Cyd, lol Thank you for the country music advice. I've tried to avoid roof work my whole life, so that wasn't really a sacrifice. and as for the pickup truck and mullet....hehe no thank you...not that I have anything against mullets per say....they can be flattering on the right person ....but I might still grab myself and spit....cause that's just fun...



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lil c. Thank you for the feedback. I'm glad you like the progress they are making.



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Jeanne,

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I'm definitely glad to find out that not all the staff looking after Willow are like Dirk

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me too...cause that would just be too angsty....even for me.

Quote:

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any chance Tara can discover that handy little fact? oh, & demand that they stop filling Willow with drugs that she doesn't need?

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Don't worry your little head about it sweetie. I think Willow's taking care of the whole medication problem...



oh and...I told you bob could get clingy....I'm glad to see that you've kicked him to the curb...see? it is still possible to rant without him. hehe



I appreciate your feedback sweetie. Thank you.



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Terra21!, hello there! I'm glad you liked the last update, and no apologies for missing updates...I'm just glad you're here now.



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watson Thank you for your feedback. I think we will discover a little more about Xander and Buffy a little later...Tara has yet to have her interview with Buffy...so maybe that would be a good next step for her to take huh?



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Nell, Welcom. I'm so glad you're here

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Grimlock lol.....nemo in the fish-tank! hehe (all the good insights you've produced in this little piece of feedback and that's what I came away with? yeash! hehe)

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but for some reason I can't imagine Tara being the only competent shrink in town.

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no....probably not in real life anyway....but Sunnydale has never really seemed to be stocked full of reputable professionals anyway..so...I guess Tara's it for now.

Quote:

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Maybe Willow just needs some non-professional normal human attention??

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I think you might be right about that...



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Wimpy, lol...you really have a hard time with the bus system don't you? hehe that's okay though...Nairobi's nice too. I hope you had a good time.

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I like the TV lady btw

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hehe, yes that seems to be the sentiment going around. But what can I say? She's likable after all....she's the only one thus far giving out anything that even remotely resembles helpful information. It's kinda hard not to like that.



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Irishgrl Hi there Anna! I'm glad you liked the update. I hope you liked this next one as well.



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Tegan awe...don't be freaked by the TV lady...she was only trying to help



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Carleen hehe, I'm sorry. (in the not sorry kind of way) for hooking you on another one of my fics.



I'm so glad you like it so far...and don't be torn between this one and Sunflowers....and simple matters ...cause they will all be getting some attention this weekend.



Thank you so much for your response. And I'll try to get another update posted soon...maybe in the next couple of days. (that should help with your withdrawals)



and please take your time with the digesting...there's no rush... i wouldn't want to have to mail you a package of TUMS...



Thank you for the lovely complements... ...I do the best I can... and I'm certainly glad that you are so engrossed in the characters (That was my evil plan after-all...)



seriously though...I want to thank you for leaving such wonderful feedback. It really helps with the whole motivation thing..



*************



xoxo

Emms

To the smut! ~ Me

Edited by: MissKittys Ball O Yarn  at: 4/16/05 12:43 pm

[DreamLover]

EMMS, EMMS, EMMS, EMMS, EMMS,



I love.... ice cream soup it's one of my favorites! All extra creamy and... just yummy



I couldn't wait to read this update... I really love this story ok confession...I love all your stories..... but this one is so real.



I often go to a place that is comparable to the one in your story.... There is so much truth in your story that's why it means a lot to me.

Quote:

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I am hoping that perhaps a change in scenery is just exactly what she needs. I know it's what I needed. Spending day after day in that sterile smelling building is starting to wear on me, so I can only imagine what the lack of stimulation is doing to Willow.

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This is so true that's why I'm glad that Willow is finally outside!

And the contact they are having is so beautiful. For Tara it will be hard she is falling in love and doesn't know it yet... that she is but.... also the professional side would be difficult that will be one of the big problems.



Tara is a big good influence on Willow that is so good. Willow is really becoming a strong woman again....but running away..ok I know way but she has to stay or at the least run away and go to Tara... please Emms let her go there.... please...please... they are all ready in love! so please Emms for them... for me oops ok for them let them be together.



I think I know who that mysterious person is.... why is that person like that does she want Tara or has it something to do with Willow or because Tara is to good in her job.... oooomy my head is spinning right now... all those questions... making me dizzy.



Ok take care...



little minx your number one fan!!!! hehehehe

Henny



Can't wait for the next one

[hermitfish]

Emms...you've made me so happy today. Here I was needing a nice break from writing (and before you get your hopes up...its not the illusive RS update rather evil uni paper...anyway) and you provide. So I did the update dance of joy and then read. It's very good to see Willow coming out of the haze and wanting to come out of it for Tara. Poor Tara and her ethical quandary though, I imagine she's gonna have a lot more trouble trying to resist her feelings for a certain redhead. The end brought up some new questions and now I have to eagerly wait for the next part. I would say 'please don't keep us waiting so long again', but I'm afraid a quarry of rocks will fall on my glass shack. Luv ya.



~Cyd

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Altered Shadows

[russ]

Great to see an update to this story, Emms.



DreamLover mentions Tara's ethical dilemma, and that's certainly going to be a major obstacle; becoming involved with a patient is a definite no-no. Tara may find herself changing careers before this is over.



There are many mysteries here, or perhaps one mystery with many facets. It's becoming increasingly clear that Willow's condition is something imposed on her from without. As she sneakily rejects her meds, her mind becomes clearer. However, her body still refuses to answer her mind's directions; she can't so much as turn her head, no matter how badly she wants to.



The connection between W/T is tangible, so that Tara experiences it as an "arm going to sleep" sensation. The mysterious watcher (Watcher?) can actually see it, "flowing off of them in brilliant waves."



So who is this "scientist," and what is the motive for keeping Willow prisoner in her own body? One sentence stands out: "Even now, in this set-up, it is no different." Does this mean there have been other "set-ups" where Willow & Tara's connection was equally unbreakable?



I love a mystery, and the gradually unfolding solutions. Looking forward to further developments here.

Russ



When we love and give it everything we've got, no matter what the consequences, we are doing what we were put here to do -- Geneen Roth

[Safuega]

Good to see your inspiration has struck again. I am as curious as the next person to find out the reasons for Willow's silence, and now the identity of the person in the last paragraph of the update. I like a good mystery and you have set up a good one here. I look forward to more. Thanks.



Safuega

[robotguru]

"That spark of recognition is the one thing i have never been able to break." This sounds a lot like Anya's alternate universe ramblings, hmm, question is, who can dimension hop? So you've added a protagonist, that is going to be interesting.



Nice update, now if only someone (cue the TV lady) would be kind enough to mention that Willow isn't not moving her neck out of choice, that would be very useful.

[DarkWiccan]

I love, love, love this concept and I was so excited to see an update!



Hmm... so Willow is coming out of the druggie haze, eh? I will be interested to see what happens as the pills finally wear-off completely... and who is this mysterious person watching from the window?







You've got me hooked on this one!! Can't wait to see what happens next!



Cheers

DW

[hidden watson]

Quote:

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From now on I will be more careful. I will evaluate every aspect of this woman's care...leave no stone unturned, that sort of thing. Something inside tells me that I will have a lot of stones to turn over, before I actually find the root of Willow's problem.

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I was all with the "what's up with the maltreatment of Willow?" until this point, when I realize it's merely laziness and presumption on the part of the hospital staff.



How great to see Willow making a huge effort. Even though her legs are exercised, it is not the same as walking and she must be in considerable pain when Tara took her for the walk, the remaining medicine inside her can't get rid of all the pain. Did she need Tara's touch to reassure her of T's presence or is it to help with the pain?



Agree with the others, how can Tara start a relationship with Willow in her position? How will Willow respond, if she does even?



Such a brilliant setup, so many questions, so many different directions this can go, so much depth, please continue!

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quiet thoughts

[onelesstraveled]

I'm a late comer to this story but I'm loving it! Apologies for not leaving feedback until now.



Great update! The suspense is reaching an all time high with the introduction of the mystery person. Go Willow for fighting the medicine and trying to communicate with Tara. Like others have said, huge dilemma there for Tara regarding the nature of her relationship with Willow, very interested to see where this would lead to.



I'm so excited about this story! There are countless of possibilities, it's hard to predict what would happen next. Can't wait for more!

[kindagay]

Hi Emms,



Well sweetie, I don't know how you do it, but somehow, you manage to weave magic into every word you write. From the first word to the very last I'm right there, inside this wonderful creation of yours, sharing every thought & experience with the characters.



I'm happy to see that Tara's realised that Willow's not getting the best care & now that she's gonna be looking into every aspect of Willow's care, I'm sure things are gonna get better for our favourite redhead - right?



Hmmm, who's the mystery voice at the end? I'm not liking the mystery voice. Mystery voice = badness

I kinda get the feeling that whoever the mystery person is, they're the reason Willow's not getting looked after properly - but, that's just my suspiscion, I could be wrong



Sweetie, I had loads more to say, but, my niece is currently sat on my knee pointing at all the emoticons and asking "what's that one doing?" which is making it kinda hard to concentrate on writing feedback.



So I'll finish for now by saying thank you for another wonderful update - Keep 'em coming sweetie



Hugs

Jeanne

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Tara: “Let me guess – you want me to lie on your lap while you feed me grapes, but my sweet, shy, precious, honey you’ve been too shy to ask – yes?” - GROWW by WannaFriendsBe

"All we need is some ice cream & a hug." - Bowling4Soup



My very own Willow & Tara website

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

I wanted to get this next update out fairly quickly, so here it is. I have to go to work in a little while, but I'll try to get replies to all you wonderful kittens posted before I go. Luv ya'll!



All Disclaimers Apply



************************

Oh god, make it stop... I can't breathe, something is stopping me from breathing...it feels like there's an elephant on my chest...or a car...or worse.



I picture a big weasel sitting there smoking an opium pipe and lounging on the center of my chest like the Caterpillar in Alice In Wonderland....only this one's a weasel.



Stop it.



"Stop what?"



Stop thinking in that high pitched tone, you're giving me a headache.



"Us, you mean? Right? I'm giving us a headache?"



Don't play word games with me.



"I can do as I darn well please...it's my brain after-all. Besides, who invited you to the conversation? "



Well, excuse me for existing. I'll just leave you so you can get back to chatting it up with the imaginary weasel...



"I was doing just fine on my own thank you."



Just fine? You're a mess. How can you call this just fine?



"I thought you were leaving?"



In a minute...



I try to shift under the sheet that's covering me and the weasel, but I still can't move very well. The most I can manage is my pinky finger...at least there's that. I wiggle my pinky finger just because I can. I feel powerful for the first time in ages. I wiggle my pinky finger at the weasel as if I'm giving him the bird. I've never given anyone the bird before...it feels naughty...but wonderful at the same time. I would laugh about it if I wasn't in so much pain.



It must be fun being crazy



"What would you know about it? Beside's i'm not crazy."



Yeah...Okay. Just keep telling yourself that.



"Was that sarcasm? Are you being sarcastic?"



Can you blame me? Just look at it from my point of view for a minute.



"Sharing a brain here...point of view, not really an issue."



There you go again, with the nit-picking. That's what happens when you don't take your medication. It's all in the glue Lou.



"I never know what you're talking about. And I thought I told you to stop calling me that."



And I thought I told you that it's not the medications fault that you're like this. So I guess neither of us are listening.



"You never said that."



Yeah. Fine. Not technically..But I'm saying it now.



"Seems a little self-serving if you ask me."



What's that supposed to mean?



"You said, that I'm controlling all of this..that it was always my choice...and then when I try to do something about it, when I stop taking the pills and start to get better, you tell me that I need to take the very thing that was holding me back in the first place. I'm beginning to think you want me to stay like this."



I just want what's best for you.



"No, I don't think you do."



Are you calling me a liar?



"If the shoe fits..."



And It was Jack remember? Lou was never off the table.



"I think you do that just to drive me crazy"



Yeah, well, it's a pretty short drive.



****************************



When did so late become so early? I ask myself this as I toss for the hundredth time tonight. I can't get to sleep, and it isn't helping that Miss Kitty attacks my feet every-time they move.



I can feel her warm body at the foot of the bed. She's tense and ready to pounce. I try to hold still and pretend that I'm sleeping. I hope that she'll get tiered of waiting and decide to find someplace more interesting to play. It doesn't work though, because we both know that I'm restless tonight. My feet shift again, and I feel steel-tipped claws zing into the comforter and stag at my bare skin. I kick at her gently, but firmly, hoping to dislodge her just enough that she is forced off the bed. I love her, but if she pins me with those needle sharp claws again, she's going to find herself inside a cardboard box out on the front porch. Okay not really, but the thought is satisfying.



Why is it that the word satisfying always proves to be a bridge to the thoughts and feelings I'm trying to repress? That's a good question, but the answer will have to wait, as my mind is already off and running to the new and forbidden topics like a kid in a candy store..topics.like Willow.



As I start to get lost in thoughts of the red-headed beauty, my body becomes warm. At the same time my mind is saying...No you shouldn't be thinking of her this way, but I can't get her out of my head, thinking about her is like a drug.



I close my eyes, and I can see her hand in front of me...I trace its vision along her delicate fingers, I want to press my lips into the palm of her hand. I know it would be warm and... no..I can't let myself go there.



My eyes fly open, and I come up out of my thought enough to find that I'm covered in a thin glaze of sweat. There's something else wrong too, I can't seem to move. Almost like I'm paralyzed. There's this awful fire inside my chest and my legs are aching so strongly that I think I might pass out.



And then It's over, passing just as fast as it had come. I scoot up until my back is against the head-board of the bed. I cover my eyes with my hands as a sob passes through me. Was this the Goddesses way of punishing me?



*************



ps...sorry about the shortness of the chapter....but my computer is going pop-up crazy right now, and it's making writing a little slow going.



xoxo

Emms

To the smut! ~ Me

Edited by: MissKittys Ball O Yarn  at: 4/18/05 10:48 am

[kindagay]

Hi (again) Emms,



Well, I didn't have to wait too long for that wonderful update - yay!



Hmm, do I smell bad magic-y badness? I definitely think that the mystery person has some kind of bad magic going on? Am I right? Am I? Go on, you can tell me, I promise I won't tell anyone



I loved Willow's conversation with herself, made me giggle I loved the image of the weasel sat on Willow's chest . But, apart from making me laugh, Willow's conversation got the little think-y cogs in my head turning too.



Aww, Tara's having naughty thoughts about Willow - yay! oh, but also, not so yay, 'cos, there's the whole, doctor/patient thing - but, you'll work out some way around that right? Of course you will, it's Willow & Tara, they have to get together eventually... right?



Hee, Miss Kitty was very cute too, oh, but she really shouldn't be attacking Tara's feet, that's no fun.



Anyway, for a short update, this is quite a long piece of feedback isn't it? So, I'll stop the babbling now, & start waiting (not so) patiently for another wonderful Emms update (& it doesn't have to be this fic you update, a new installment of any one of your stories would be all good).



Take care sweetie

Hugs

Jeanne

----------



Tara: “Let me guess – you want me to lie on your lap while you feed me grapes, but my sweet, shy, precious, honey you’ve been too shy to ask – yes?” - GROWW by WannaFriendsBe

"All we need is some ice cream & a hug." - Bowling4Soup



My very own Willow & Tara website

[DreamLover]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE I can't belief it two updates within two day's Woooohoooooooo update update update......wooooooooohhhoo







Maybe I should quit drinking to much coffee lol lol I'm a little to hyper right now but then again you updated wooohoo update update....



Great update it was short (just teasing) but it still was an update and a terrific one. If Tara doesn't want Miss Kitty she always can send her to me



The story is getting complicated by the minute and I love it!!! Tara got it really bad for Willow... aiaiai.... If I'm correct Tara is feeling what Willow is feeling so that means they are having a special connection... Is that connection because of magic... or because of the growing love connection (love magic) that they are destined to be together... I hope the last one off course.



It is a great update!



Take care and I hope to read more soon.



Henny