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Leap of Faith

Willow and Tara live happy together in a place untouched by Mutant Enemy. This is a forum for Willow and Tara Fan Fiction (i.e. fan fiction, top 10s, etc...) Please read the content advisories on individual stories, read at your own discretion.

Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Urn of Osiris » Tue May 17, 2005 7:13 am

Hello to you all. I'm glad to see so many responses to my statement. I will tell you it was written late at night in a very weak emotional moment. So I might never have actually posted something so honest if I wasn't so tired. I know how Jerry Maguire felt after the 'mission statement' thingy.

I've gotten a few emails and private messages and for those of you that are shy or scared to share in a public forum, I appreciate what you did share and I think it is important for those expressions from every reader. Check your inboxes.

I've never asked for long emotional dissertations on the updates. Don't get me wrong, when they come I enjoy them intensely. I would just love to know what felt right, what seemd fake? Did you stumble over an idea? That kind of stuff helps me craft a better story.

This trip is mostly emotional. There are mirrored experiences that help shed personal darkness. That's why I write. Sharing that is a journey for me and I invite every reader.

Lurkers - I love you all. *shines a light on you* come out, come out, wherever you are. I'm inviting you all to share a thought. Share an emoticon. Boost your numbers! Soon, you too could be a troll hammer. :P

willowrulez - (great nic btw) Thank you, I try to keep my updates about 10-15 pages long. It forces me to give details and paint vivid images. I was looking back at the first few fics I posted here and realized I cheated the reader by not giving you those. I like a twist here and there. I always wondered how Buffy could ever find an equal, after her lame-ass pairings. Al was created for two reasons. He is the only equal Buffy could ever be staisified with (in this writer's mind), and his personal journey would be an amazing tale to tell. I hope you'll continue enjoying the story.

UnderTheirSpell - the price? *thinks really hard* It'll cost you a bit of emotional expression. It should be fic related. It had to make you feel something? Even if it was to run from the room to vomit.
I always finish every fic I start; some very quickly, some not so much. This will be a completed story beacuse as much as you like to read it I love to write it. What you've said is so wonderful to hear. (not the author abandonment part, that sucked, and I'll finish this story just so you won't feel that loss from me) There will be goodies galore. Just keep sharing and so will I.

Miss Kitty B.O.Y.- *claps at shameless plug* I'll skip on over and have a read. Yes, writing the story is an amazing expression of my own feeings. That is why feedback is so important. What looks good on my screen as I type, might not look as great to the reader. Like I said above, I'll finish the story, because I hate unfinfshed tales and because I have these scenes in my head that I have to put to 'paper'.

Hmmm, the social worker visit. Interesting that you would point that out. Our family is very comfortable with these, so look for it to be less dramatic, maybe. *grins* I'll confess right now that there is absolutely no chance that this little guy is going anywhere, permanently. So breathe easy.

That scene was something that I visualized. Occassionally I see a scene in my mind, vividly, and I try to write what I'm seeing. This was one of them. I'm so glad that you liked it. It seemed to have a rhythm that captured the emotion of the moment. Thank you so much for sharing. It means alot to me.

cooper - *gasps at confession* The stories on this board were my only reason for becoming a member. I love Pens and watching it dwindle is breaking my heart. I think you have plenty to say and you said it beautifully! I love to see new members post. I can absolutely relate to the # being an intimidating thing. That # does also represent interaction, involvement. You are blessed with a voice here. You can share what the writer's work has meant to you. That is your gift to us.

Your summary cracked me up! Psyco brother *smiles* This story is much different and I'm glad you noticed that it is an emotional tale and much less of a physical one. We all have those demons and get stuck in the pain sometimes. If you are alone it is so hard to move forward. I think this story is about discovering that you aren't ever alone if ... I should really stop before I give away every plot I've been planning. I think that what you have shared is wonderful and heartfelt and it is exactly what a writer would like to know. Thank you.

Caz - Thank you. You went back to read them? That's great. P&P was a pertty intense ride at times, certainly different from This look of Love. I'm glad that you enjoyed the ride. I had to share Patrick's story so I started Leap. The definition of family is so broad today, that I thought it would be great to explore it. I think children will tell us exactly what they are feeling if we take the time to listen. Tara and Patrick have similar pasts and I'm enjoying writing about it. Thank you for the feedback. Please feel free to leave more, and often.

Lonewolf - HOLY CRAPOLA! where have you been stranger. I was just looking through P&P and there you were, alot. :P As if you could be forgotten. You always left such wonderful feedback. You should consider doing that more. *grins* Thank you for the compliments. They are quite humbling. It truly makes me feel like the story is being read. Without comments I can't tell if people are reading a paragraph and closing it because it is such shit. A writer's biggest fear btw. Thank you for the vow to feed(back) the writer. Good to see you here! If you haven't been over to get your old post count back, you should post it in here. see you soon.

Thank you all! I'm a little rusty at responses so it I missed a point you were making please feel free to let me know.


So, those of you that followed Pathways & Patterns, were fortunate to get (or unfortunate) the little bonus fic, 'Crayon Breaky Willow.' Well since so many of you responded to my writing hemmorage I decided to try another mini fic. Now, this one is a bonus for all of you that actually read the entire length of replies. Lucky you for reading all the way to the bottom.

Here it is. *trumpets sound*

Black eyed girl

“It’s horrible!” She touched the skin around her eye.

“Oh, sweetie.” Fingers brushed red hair away. “It’s not that bad.”

Willow looked up, pointing at her swollen left eye. “Not bad? Are you blind?”

“I’m not blind.” She leaned in to kiss the purpling skin of Willow’s face. “I still think you’re beautiful.”

“That’s just because, you, your toys, and your "Kama Sutra the gay way" caused this.”



TBC............
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"A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow." C. Brower
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Cindipitude » Wed May 18, 2005 4:16 pm

:flower
Well Urnie you have done it again:)

It was hard to see the meeting with Brenda and Willow..Willow knowing Patrick has already become her's and Tara's but still trying so hard to keep Brenda involved in his life. Willow is sooo right, there are questions he will have that no one but Brenda will ever be able to answer for him. I'm hoping that Tara can convince her of that. She's just become this pitiful figure.. she's given up. She expects to die.. so she's halfway there.

The reunion of W/T was wonderful. When life gives you one of those moments when everything falls into place there is just nothing better. I'm so glad that in your hands these ladies have moments like those and much more.

Ohh! The kiddies are off on an overnight camping trip!
And Buffy and Al are chaperoning them... but who will chaperone Buffy and Al? :glasses
I must admit i'm curious to how that's going to work out exactly.. Buffy knows she's gonna be getting some.. but the kids are there..
I dunno.... no guesses from me this time.. I am full out stumped. That's why I'm glad you are in the driver's seat.. you know where you are going. I can say that I am looking forward to the growing relationship with Buffy and Al. I find it interesting and I must admit I love reading about their budding relationship as much as I do Willow and Tara's attempts to figure out what's going on in Willow's head. Can't wait to see what happens next:D

And And AND!!
Another bonus short story!

LOL umm "Kama Sutra the Gay Way", eh?
ohhhh Tara's got some 'splaining to do.....mainly cause I can't wait to find out just how Willow earned her black eye :flirt

This was a great update Urnie:D Wonderfully crafted as always. Sorry I wasn't able to leave feedback right away, but rest assured that I do keep up, I am always on the lookout for updates from you, and feedback shall be left!

To all the lurking kittens out there or those just kinda shy:

I went through a phase in my Kittenhood where I commented and left feedback very rarely. I wasn't a writer myself and I didn't really know anyone.. it seemed scary to leave feedback on the efforts of someone I didn't even know. I thought "why will they care what I think? We haven't even said hello or anything." The more I read and looked and commented however, the more I realized how wrong I was. We kittens may never post a story or we may post dozens, but commenting feeds the soul of all kittens. When the author comments back.. why, it's like getting feedback to out feedback! I'm tellin ya, the stuffs addictive :devil
So please.. feel free to comment to your hearts content! Many a friendship has been started over a comment I made in a thread, and if you think they are awesome based on their work wait till you get to know them a bit:D Vive la feedback!
"I wish your love came in decaf.." ~Erin Collins
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Lonewolf22 » Wed May 18, 2005 10:53 pm

Hi there, you know I just realized something, I made a promise to you that I would leave feedback, and I didn't leave some feedback to your latest update, so here goes.

Great update, I REALLY, REALLY hope that Brenda changes her mind about seeing Patrick, thats her only son she needs to see him and answer his questions. I'm liking the Buffy and Al relationship, its cute. I love that the kids are going on an adventure, it sounds like a lot of fun. I'm glad that Patrick is starting to heal, I hope he gets no setbacks. I'm hoping that Tara finds out what is wrong with Willow, I don't like these visions. About the previous chapter before this one, why is Tara seeing her Mom now, and how did Patrick see her too? I hope that she sees her Mom again and this time gets to talk to her.

Lonewolf

P.S. I really hope that Willow and Tara don't experience being apart again.
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Vampivy » Thu May 19, 2005 2:37 am

Hey Sharon.
First let me start out by apologizing for the lack of feedback on my end. I’ve been there from the beginning (I think?) and you’ve never failed to do anything less than an amazing job writing this trilogy and I’m sorry you felt unappreciated. How could you not with the lack of feedback? I hope I can make it up to you with these few words and a sincere promise to write feedback more often. It might be a little delayed seeing as I’m slower than usual to get to an update, but I look forward to each and every one you write. I just find myself being very preoccupied with so much nonsense running around in my head.

Last time I was here I left off in ch.6. The whole pregnant cat discussion cracked me up.

“Aunt Buffy can’t remember how kitty got her babies inside.”
“Tara gave a wicked half-grin. “Aunt Buffy? You don’t know where babies come from?” Her tone tormented the already flustered slayer.”


That was a priceless interaction between Tara, Patrick and Buffy. I absolutely loved it. It’s so sad to read how Patrick still suffers from all the abuse and it’s a torment also to see how much his family suffers right along with him. How can he think they don’t want him? It’s just so heartbreaking to read. I’m also really moved by how much Buffy has become so attached to Patrick, but no matter how much Patrick is loved by all of them it can’t seem to heal his most painful wounds. We also get introduced to Al in this chapter, which I’ll have more to say about him later.

In Ch.7 we see Buffy showing some interest in Al, which I in turn find very interesting. This was just too funny.

“It’s that guy out in the barn.” She rolled away from her friend. “There’s something about him.”
The redhead smirked. “The fact that he walks in daylight?”
The Slayer swatted her friend. “It’s a refreshing feature but that’s not it.”


Buffy seemed all too consumed with Patrick and everything else in her life so to see that she even noticed Al at all is shocking. She is so very much intrigued by him and so am I. I really loved to read how Tara handled her employees after realizing they had been gossiping about her family history. It flowed really well. Sometimes I read a story with Tara having to be assertive or more aggressive than we were used to seeing her on the show and it just doesn’t flow properly, its doesn’t sound believable. It simply falls flat. Tara here spoke to her staff with obvious anger and frustration and authority but she maintained her natural Tara kindness. That’s really cool the way you are able to write her, all of them really.

Ch.8 shocked me the most, but then came ch.9, which is my favorite one yet. I still can’t believe you killed Faith. Forty-seven stab wounds? My question though is what was Faith protecting Brenda from? Was she like super hot or something and Faith was just helping to keep her from becoming someone’s bitch? Did I miss something from a previous chapter or from “Pathways” even? I feel like I missed something here. It’s late and I’m tired and I’m sorry for asking.

Regarding ch.9 please check your Private Message box.

Ch.10 was very interesting with Patrick and Tara sharing a dream. I am really eager to find out what that was all about. Abbey is so adorable. She teases Both Al and Buffy in such a cute manner and manages to point out the obvious and that is that they are so gonna hook-up. They are obviously interested in each other and I think that’s great. I look forward to reading how this relationship works out which I hope it does.

In this latest chapter I found the transition from the courtroom to the flashback of Patrick taking his first steps without that metal contraption on his leg to be very smooth. Your writing is always so vivid and I can read it and it literally plays like a movie in head at the same time. I love that about this scene in particular. Abbey’s quite the photographer.

“Patty!” Buffy squealed.

Every time I read my name in this story I have to smile regardless. Very cool Sharon. Very cool indeed. I’m also glad to hear Patrick can continue to stay with his family. Brenda refusing to see Patrick seems a bit selfish to me, but at the same time I understand why she feels that way. Argh! My brain hurts. This is so F’ed up and I wish this adoption matter and all this drama with Brenda would just end already. Patrick needs closure and it seems that only Brenda can provide such closure but at the same time it could backfire so bad. Damn I need a hug.

So Sharon, if you haven’t dosed off yet and you actually manage to decipher all this babble and make sense of it I hope you know that I appreciate it very much. Also I hear there have been some trouble with posting’s so if this post doesn’t go through or disappears or spontaneously combusts I’ll try again to post it later. Thanks again for continuing to write this story and please also don’t feel bad about posting your previous statement about all the lack of feedback here and elsewhere too. I personally needed to read that and all that was written in “The Art of Leaving Feedback” thread. My worst fears from when the show ended seemed to be coming true and I never imagined I’d be part of the cause. I want Pens to be around forever and all its amazing writers and that will always include you. Thank you.

Patty
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby melmac » Thu May 19, 2005 8:40 pm

Okay....Here you go my very first try at feedback. I started your series with P&P and even with my extremely short attention you had me searching for TLOL. Now in your third installment I can honestly say you have made me a fan of your Tara. In 'most' stories I have read Tara is the reacting character, her sweetness can give you cavities. But while she certainly carries the 'earth-mother goddess' trait in your tale, I love that we can see that hey, it ain't all gravy for the lady.

The pairing of Willow and Tara is a love story that people retell in their own way beautifully, but your telling of Tara's story is something quite unexpected and I do hope you continue.

-Melissa
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Tonto » Wed May 25, 2005 11:59 pm

Urn......please please please don't stop updating this fic. I just love this story. :bow I have never read a fic of Willow and Tara raising a son before. Patrick is so cute and I love the way Buffy calls him Patty. Only a slayer could get away with calling a guy Patty. Abbey is sooooo adorable (even when she rolles her eyes). Since both kids are super adorable.............will there be more kids in the future? :-D There's nothing cuter than Willow running around town frantically to satisfy a late night pregnant Tara craving. Sardines and ice cream anyone? Update soon......pretty please! (with a sardine on top.)
GOOOOAL!!!!!
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Urn of Osiris » Wed Jun 01, 2005 6:22 pm

Hello lovely people!!

I’ve had a wonderful time reading your comments.

Thanks to all of you who have sent private messages. Keep them coming. I truly enjoy the conversations that we’ve started.

Cindi – I wanted to portray Brenda as feeling completely hopeless. These are her darkest times. I’ve never been in prison but I imagine that there is very little to look forward to. Brenda lost her last reason to fight. You’ll see a bit more from her. I hope it doesn’t disappoint.

W/T are a wonderful love. I adore writing them as passionate people. I’m glad you like those moments.

Hehehe, chaperoning. Yes, Buffy and Al might need something. I’m certain it won’t be tiny tot chaperones. Don’t count on hot and heavy with them. That’s not what this relationship is. Buffy’s had that so I’m taking her in another direction. I hope it doesn’t disappoint.

Thanks for the comments about feedback. *rubs hands nervously* I’m not an addict *chants mantra*


Lonewolf – Brenda has a lot to think about and Tara is a clever woman. She’s not giving up yet. She’s going to fight like hell for that little boy. There are many things happening all at once and I hope I can get in all of the details so that it comes full circle in the end. This story has branched out and I’m trying to keep all the characters believable. The visions are a part of something bigger. That’s all that I can tell you for now. I don’t want to give away too much. You’d quit reading if I did.


Patty – Thank you so much. *hugs* Your messages are serious fuel for this writer. You need not apologize, I’m just glad to see you return. Your words are inspirational. I like to write the innocent side of Buffy when she relates to Patrick. Theirs is a relationship based on loss and fear. This slayer has real tenderness and this little boy is just who she needed to remind her of that. I’m sure most people suffer some type of abuse. The levels are so different but the scars are so much the same. This is really a story about finding your way. I hope that when the tale is told that this message rings loud and clear. Again, when it comes to Al, there are layers. I’m working on those. The ‘walks in daylight’ made me grin as I was writing it. I’m glad you liked it. The conversation with the staff was tough to write, because I wanted a bitchslapping session. As you kindly pointed out, that wouldn’t have been very believable. I think it is important for her to draw clear lines.
Faith and Brenda? Well it basically comes down to who you choose to associate with. Brenda put all her protective needs in the hands of Faith. This caused resentment with fellow inmates and thus the animosity grew. Again it was an example of Brenda selling herself short. Perhaps I didn’t write that well enough. Thank you so much for all your comments on chapter 9. I’d be very pleased to continue the conversation. I’m a very good listener.
It’s funny you’d say that about the imagery. There are scenes in all the fics I’ve written, that are like movies. I just play them and try to describe what I’m seeing. That scene was written a few times because I wanted the flashback to show how they’ve grown as a family. How the obstacles can be overcome. Sometimes you just have to take that leap. I know it is as corny as heck, but that’s seriously what it’s all about. I hope the story isn’t completely frustrating. I’ll try to avoid big cliffy continuation points. Your feedback was fantastic!


Melissa – Thank you. I’m happy to read that you’ve read the stories. Each is so very different. My Tara isn’t the victim she was on the show. Sure she has a history but she’s grown to become a well rounded human being. It’s the hurdles that we all face, that teach us who we are. I’m glad that you enjoy my version and I will continue. I like finished stories.

*pats you on the back* Congratulations! You give great feedback. You should do it more often.


Tonto – Thanks, I’m happy you like the story. I’m still writing if people are still reading. I don’t have any plans for more children. I think they have their hands full and as much as I like writing the woes of pregnancy, I just think I have a different tale to tell right now. Hopefully, this will satisfy you.



So there you go people. I’m pleased to announce that another update is coming very soon. I hope it satisfies.
Urn of Osiris
"A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow." C. Brower
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Emms » Wed Jun 01, 2005 6:30 pm

Oh! I was so excited when I saw this story at the top of the page! I did my little happy dance of joy :party cause I though there might be an update...but alas no.... :glasses So I guess I'll just quietly back out of the thread now...... :eyebrow

I do hope there will be an update soon though..


xoxo
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby cooper » Thu Jun 02, 2005 12:19 am

Urn, glad to hear another uppdate is on the way. When I was reading responses I forgot to past again and say a big Woo Hoo that there was a Crayon Breaky Willow update. That was definitely a funny aside in Pathways that I loved.

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Leap of Faith

Postby Urn of Osiris » Thu Jun 02, 2005 7:33 pm

Hello again. I wasn't meaning to tease. I really had the chapter all ready. My beta and her girlfriend sent me off into cyberspace to read and I got so lost. In a good way though, so here is the promised update. I hope it was worth the wait.

Miss Kitty's B.O.Y. - No need to be disappointed this time. The update has arrived. I hope you enjoy it

Cooper - Yeah, CBW was kitten chat inspired. I figured I could come up with another side fic. I'm still researching the how. :P Enjoy the update.



and now....




Chapter 12



Before Willow could push through the kitchen door, Tara had her shirt up over her head. Willow smiled at the sight of her wife’s half-naked body. She locked the door.

“Someone’s going to walk in and see you.” Willow’s tongue rolled slowly across her lips. 38 1/2 hours was 39 hours too long to be away from her wife.

The blonde tossed the shirt into her lover’s face. “Most of them have the afternoon off.”

Willow pulled the discarded shirt from her head. “They what now?”

“I had five staff members come in today.” The blonde unbuttoned her skirt. “Al sent three out to drive in the north range. And I sent two into town to get some supplies.”

“Oh.” She watched Tara slip each button slowly through its hole. She gulped loudly. “And three plus two equals…” She stopped as her wife’s skirt drifted slowly over her curvaceous hips.

“Equals?” Tara smiled. She loved that after so many years her soul mate still stopped breathless at the sight of her body.

“Equals naked alone time with my wife.” Willow pulled her own blouse over her head.

Tara walked from the kitchen, fighting to hide the smile growing on her face.

“Where are you going?” She followed the blonde. “I believe being with my wife was a big part of the naked time requirement.” She picked up the discarded skirt. The redhead looked into Patrick’s empty room. She saw the wraps on his side table and felt a sense of sorrow for missing yesterday’s appointment. She was hurt that they didn’t call her. She buried the pain, knowing that their intention was to surprise Willow with the amazing news.

Tara turned to climb the stairs. “So you better catch up with me then.” She reached back to unclasp her bra. It dangled on the tip of her finger before dropping to the banister’s handrail.

Willow’s attention went to the hanging brassiere. “Oh, I’ll catch you. Don’t you worry about that.” She smiled as she held the garments her lover strategically dropped. “Remember what happened to those kids that left a trail of bread crumbs to follow?” She latched the lock on the front door.

Tara laughed and the sound echoed through the upper level of the house. “If I remember correctly, they became a witch’s snack.”

“That’s right.” Willow picked up a sock from the first step.

“Perhaps you should come and get your snack,” Tara giggled. “My adorable, red-haired witch.” She snaked her finger slowly forward, summoning the redhead with the simple gesture.

“I’d rather you meet me halfway.” Willow stopped seven steps from the top. She wanted to take her lover in so many places. They had very few opportunities to explore and it was a “carpe diem” moment.

“Half way, huh?” Tara liked the idea. She sauntered back down each step. She wanted to see her lover remove each layer of clothing but Willow just stood, waiting for their bodies to occupy the same space. “I’m an all or nothing woman.” Tara stopped, two steps away from her wife. “Not much of a number geek these days?”

Willow wrinkled her brow. “What?”

Tara cheeks lifted into a playful smile. “There are ten steps, my love. I think you’ll have to meet me at the halfway mark.”

Willow couldn’t help but laugh. She’d been had, and at any other moment she might devise a way to calculate a divisible factor to make seven the halfway point, but her desire to devour the blonde was all she could see. She climbed one step and lingered, enjoying the position. She could feel the temperature rise as Tara removed the last article keeping her from complete nakedness.

The redhead touched the soft skin of creamy pale calves. She tossed the clothes over the banister and they slipped down the polished hand railing. She smiled and allowed her hands to make the same slick maneuver up her wife’s taut, muscular legs.

Tara steadied herself, stretching her hands so that one was on the wall and the other on the railing. She was instantly aroused and hungry for all that her wife had in mind.

Slender fingers drifted, hesitated, before grazing the sensitive inner thigh. Willow could feel her lover, could sense her awakening on every level. She knelt on the last step between them. “You missed me, huh?” She kissed all the places her hands had just touched.

The blonde bit down on her lower lip. The only reply was an impassioned growl.

Willow stopped, realizing how exposed their enthusiasm was. “We should really move this somewhere more private.”

Tara felt the warmth of Willow’s hands leave her thighs. She wanted the sensation to return, and fast. “There’s no one here, sweetie. I made sure that we’d be alone.”

The redhead turned back toward her wife. “Made sure? You didn’t even know when I was landing.”

The blonde giggled. “I knew exactly when you’d be walking through that door.”

Willow looked up, captivated by the vision of her wife’s body. “So this was your master plan?”

“Well, not this,” She pointed between them and the stairs, “but you and me, alone and naked. That was all part of my wicked scheme.”

“And our Slayers are involved?” Willow unclasped her own bra, releasing her breasts from the confines of their material. The redhead’s hands returned to the home they’d found against Tara’s warm flesh.

“Only long enough to take the kids on an adventure.” Tara felt the sensation return, and her body responded without hesitation.

“So you missed me then?” Willow repeated her question. She could feel the answer. Her hand slid slowly up the curve of Tara’s hip. The blonde braced herself again between the wall and the handrail as Willow’s palm moved across her hip onto the soft flesh of her abs. “You feel so good.”

Tara could not form thoughts or words. She had missed her lover and wanted nothing more than to be devoured by love.

The redhead’s lips met soft abdominal skin. She grazed the span hungrily, pausing to taste the dimple of her navel. She pulled in a small mouthful and released with a pop. “You taste so good.”

The blonde was dizzy, her body thick with want, intoxicated by need. She could feel any steadiness leave her.

Willow stood, wrapping an arm around her lover, savoring the journey up Tara’s body, one kiss at a time. She lingered over the blonde’s right breast, tasting what would always be hers. Tara could barely stand but concentrated on relieving her wife of her last bits of clothing. Willow could feel the pace of her wife’s heart; the rhythmic pounding driving her desire to new heights. The response was instinctive, she was wanted, all that she tasted was desired. Every part of Willow sought to take Tara. And the simple sensation told her that the blonde wanted the same. She led them backward. Their bodies met the carpeted edges of the staircase. They wanted, and in that visceral need the world around them dissolved. There was nothing, only two beating hearts focused on reuniting.

Tara’s hand tightened harder around the rail; she could feel the drag of rough fiber across her bare flesh. It was static, but when her wife’s hand caressed soft curls, her universe ripped wide and begged only for that sensation.

Willow wanted everything in that moment, to taste lips and all forms of Tara’s flesh. She could feel the blonde arch into her hand. She teased the supple skin, where thigh met torso. Her tongue savored the length of Tara, until hands and lips met at the center of the blonde’s need.

Tara screamed her wife’s name and the sound prompted Willow to linger. There was no game, just satisfaction in knowing that in that moment they were everything to each other and their universe existed for this single act of passion.

Willow delighted in her wife’s desire, ravaging slick blonde curls. Tara’s feet pushed hard into the step, leaving impressions in the surface. The redhead’s tongue tasted Tara’s hip and the blonde responded with a shudder. Willow accepted the motion, nibbling the sensitive flesh. It was a level of ecstasy they ached to exceed.

Tara’s only thought was to open herself to her lover. She was being taken in the most delicious ways and would do nothing to change the course of Willow’s endeavor. The blonde held tight to the wall. Her knuckles whitened around the staircase spindle. Willow entered her lover, pressing the tip of her thumb against the hardened bundle of nerves. She could feel every bit of Tara’s need and responded with hungry passion. Her hand moved across familiar terrain, teasing and gliding deep within the blonde.

“Oh goddess, Will.” She wanted to cum hard and fast for her lover, but the contact was awakening a desire to be touched everywhere, eternally. Tara’s mouth went dry. No longer able to form words, she moaned.

The redhead inched up to moisten her lover’s lips. Her hands never stopped loving as her mouth pressed to the blonde’s. “I love you, Tara.” She kissed over and over. They were making love like they’d spent a lifetime apart. It was passion in primal perfection. They milled across each other, slick and glistening. They were, at that very moment, one. Each motion found the same in return and they trembled to climax. Willow wanted more, wanted the taste of her wife endlessly across her tongue.

“I should go away more often.” Willow playfully whispered, reaching to wipe the sweat-drenched hair from her wife’s face.

Tara kissed her lover.

Willow’s fingers made small circles over Tara’s awakened skin. The blonde twitched and smiled. “On second thought, this is much better.” Willow twisted to stand from their awkward position. She looked down at her exhausted soul mate. “Tara?”

The blonde lay spread from wall to rail, a smile of exhausted ecstasy growing on her face.

“You want to go upstairs?”

Tara raised her head, looking at her wife. “Didn’t we just try that?” Her head flopped back on the carpet.

She helped Tara to her feet. ”I meant up to bed.”

The blonde snickered. “Tried that, didn’t we?”

“How about up to a long, hot bath?”

Tara steadied herself, leaning into the redhead. “That… sounds perfect.” They finished the climb up. The blonde giggled. “My knees are dizzy.”

The redhead grinned. “Lucky me.”

“Hey lucky lady, maybe you should get the evidence from the stairs.” She walked into the bathroom to fill the tub.

Willow padded quickly down the steps, excited to snuggle her wife in the oversized tub. She draped their clothes carefully over the chair beside the bedroom desk. She noticed her old laptop open and running. Her finger tapped the mouse and the screen flashed. Willow read the display and smiled. She minimized the first screen and glimpsed at the second. She turned toward the bathroom. Her wife was clever and the redhead was thrilled to see that the blonde had developed genuine skill with the recycled technology.

She took the robes from the hook on the back of the door. Willow could see her lover’s naked shoulders. The toned flesh flexed as Tara swirled the water with a wave of her hand.

“You’ve been a busy woman.” Willow flipped her thumb to point toward the desk.

Tara leaned to see what her wife was pointing at. “Oh, that. I told you I knew exactly.” Her attention returned to the bathwater. She dropped small mixtures of essential oils into the tub. “I happen to be married to a genius who makes technology very user friendly.”

“So I guess I can’t sneak around on you?” She hooked the robes over the bathroom door.

“Oh, you can be sneaky, but know that you created a super easy way for me to find you.” Tara’s grin perked playfully.

“Well, I didn’t create the flight tracking software, but that was a brilliant touch.” Willow melted at the sight of her wife’s half-smile. It was essentially Tara. “So the program worked?”

Tara nodded. “It worked great. I knew exactly when you turned off your mobile, and the link tracked you offline. It played a beautiful song when you turned your phone on at the airport.”

Willow beamed with pride. She’d spent months integrating the wireless technology with the tracking system. It was her goal to make the apparatus discrete and simple. She remembered the forest and how those hours were the worst memories for Tara. They’d been cut off from each other and the trauma helped them design a way to prevent it from ever happening again. “You used the airline flight tracker to watch my flight?”

“You were never out of our sight.” Tara turned off the water. She stepped over the edge of the tub and lowered herself slowly into the steaming water. “Ohh, this feels so good.”

Willow leaned in to test the temperature. “Kinda hot.” She ran her hand up the blonde’s leg.

“The water or the wife?” Tara held the soft hand before pulling her entirely into the tub. The motion was quick and caught the redhead off guard. The blonde pulled her wife against her body.

“I was going to say the water, but now that I’m in here it has to be the wife.”

Tara wrapped both arms around her lover. It was as close to perfect as she could imagine. They were alone together and that was a welcomed moment. “I missed you.”

The redhead laughed. Her body vibrated against the blonde. “You did? I couldn’t tell from the subtlety of your welcome.”

She tensed. “It seemed like a long time.”

“Baby, don’t.” Willow could sense her tension. “I was teasing.”

Tara relaxed as Willow nuzzled into the embrace. “Yesterday was hard. Patrick was so brave and he couldn’t wait for you to see him.”

“I’m so sorry that I had to miss it.” She leaned back to rest her head on Tara’s shoulder.

“We both had really important days. Didn’t we?” Tara traced her finger slowly across the redhead’s abs. “How did everything go?”

“We’ll have another round of social services. That should be a hoot.” She closed her eyes. Tara’s touch soothed her.

“And the visit?” Tara’s hand paused, waiting for a reply.

Willow rolled over to watch her wife’s reaction. She straddled the blonde. “She refused.”

Tara’s eyes glazed. “And the letter?”

Willow lifted her chin. “I gave it to her. She held it like it was a living thing. She really scares me.”

The blonde shifted. Her hands clung to Willow’s hips. “We can’t do anything for her. Right now, Patrick is my only worry.”

“She won’t see him, baby. She thinks she has nothing to offer.”

Tara watched a drop of water drizzle down Willow’s shoulder. It dripped and slid between two perky breasts. Her finger touched the bubble as it rested. It splattered against her skin. “Do you think she’ll read the letter?”

“I think she’s memorized it already.” Willow leaned back on her heels. The position stretched her thighs uncomfortably but it was exactly how she loved to view her wife. “I hope whatever you said gets to her.”

“Me too.” Tara smiled. “You could have read it.”

“I know. But I wanted Brenda to feel like it was special.”

Tara’s hands returned to the pale flesh of Willow’s abs. “And the hearing?” She worried about that situation the most.

“The judge said he could stay with us for now.”

Tara looked up, her eyes wide with fear. “For now?”

“Whoa,” Willow realized her comment was misleading. “He’ll be here with us unless they find a reason for him not to be.”

“What does that mean?” She looked away before whispering, “it means that the courts don’t want to give the boy to a lesbian couple.” Tara would have run immediately to call their attorney but the redhead kept her pinned in place.

“It means that they will consider our petition and check his current living environment. The judge seemed fair. Plus, Brenda hadn’t signed the adoption papers.”

“Her attorney said she would.”

“Relax, hon, she signed everything.” She realized that her summary wasn’t going the way she wanted. “I saw Brenda after the hearing. I couldn’t get in before visiting hours. She’s in a really bad way.”

“Oh goddess, Will, I can’t handle all of this.” The blonde feathered her fingers through her hair. She grasped the ridge of the tub behind her head.

“Brenda wants him to be with you… to be with us.” Willow leaned forward. She held Tara’s hands behind the blonde’s head. “He’s going to call you mommy for the rest of his life.” She kissed her wife. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen.”

“We’ll do it together.” Tara closed her eyes, drawing a long relaxing breath. “Any other news to share?”

Willow waited for the blue eyes to open. “Just one more thing.”

“Please tell me it is a good thing?”

The redhead smiled. “It’s better than good.”

Tara could tell by the Cheshire grin. “Oh?”

The redhead leaned in to whisper. “I love making love to you.”

“That’s funny, I love making love to you.”

“They say the longer you’re with someone, the more alike you think.” Willow turned to lean against her wife.

“Lucky me.” Tara’s hands reached to caress the redhead’s abs.

Willow closed her eyes and relaxed against her wife. She let the tender touch move across her skin. Tara certainly had the most amazing fingers. The redhead felt warm breath against her ear.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Tara’s hand slid across her wife’s breast.

Willow whimpered. “Snack?” The redhead drew a sharp breath as a very cold hand inched over her hip.

Tara chuckled. “Yes, and what kind?” Her hands hesitated.

“Witches.” It was all Willow could do to form the word. Tara had already decided her preference and was staking claim to satisfy that hunger.

They made love, each heating the other until the temperature of their bodies warmed the chilly water surrounding them.




Tbc...............................

edited to fix the horrible spacing. Sorry, the cum has to stay.
Last edited by Urn of Osiris on Fri Jun 03, 2005 5:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
Urn of Osiris
"A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow." C. Brower
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Emms » Thu Jun 02, 2005 8:16 pm

How wonderful Urn *sigh* What a lovely, sensuous update. It was so romantic, how they couldn't even make it up the stairs without touching eachother. *another sigh* And the dialoge in between the shedage of clothes was so real.

Also, it was a tearful moment when they were upstairs and Willow said that thing about Patrick calling Tara Mommy.... *sniff sniff*

I really loved this update sweetie....thanks for posting...


xoxo
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Lonewolf22 » Thu Jun 02, 2005 10:47 pm

Urn of Osiris: GREAT Update, I absolutely LOVED the way Willow and Tara just couldn't keep their hands off of each other, and how they just made love on the stairs because they couldn't wait, that was extremely sexy and romantic. I love the way Tara was worried about the social workers and Willow was right there to comfort her and to ease away her worry. I also love the part where Tara uses the tracking technology to keep track of Willow and how she knew exactly when she would be home, very cool. I really hope that Brenda reads Tara's letter and reconsiders seeing Patrick. I can't wait for the next update.

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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Vampivy » Fri Jun 03, 2005 1:05 am

You know Sharon as beautiful as Willow and Tara’s reunion was I couldn’t help but feel a bit sad. I’m sure this wasn’t the first time they made love in that house. The same house that held so much pain for Tara. I’m really glad they are able to fill that house with so much love that maybe one day even I can look back on it and not remember just the bad stuff.

I’m happy Willow let go of those pesky anxious feelings about someone walking in on them and moved it along cause I’ll tell you what, I think I was anxious enough for all of us. Wow, that was beautiful and you managed to make me blush, again. Phrases like “She loved that after so many years her soul mate still stopped breathless at the sight of her body” are what take my own breath away. I love, love, LOVE beautiful phrases like that. Now I have a question for you. What is your opinion on the word cum versus come? Personally I prefer the word come over cum because to me it just feels a bit less harsh. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me, but I was just wondering what you think about that.

Tara became very tech savvy, huh. I’m so proud. My heart also ached to remember that time in the forest. I can still remember reading that chapter and my heart beating frantically. Damn I need a hug.

Thanks again for another great chapter Sharon. I truly enjoyed it. Oh, and one more thing before I sign off… Brenda read that damn letter!

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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby cooper » Fri Jun 03, 2005 1:41 am

Its simply a great update Urn.

I enjoyed reading it because I was able to just get lost in where they are. This update wasn't about situation to situation, I felt it was more to show the level of love and connectedness that W/T have in the story. The emotion and turmoil of their big days from the last episode that leads to both of them needing time. Time alone to reconnect and draw strength from each other.

I loved it
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To cum or not to cum

Postby vix84 » Fri Jun 03, 2005 5:37 am

Fabulous update, Urnie!

We thought we should address the word 'cum' as it seems to be causing some issues. Let's nip it in the bud.

Here are some explanations we've found of the word.

1. "The actual word "cum" is a latin word meaning "with", supposed to be prounounced "koom"."

2. Latin word for with, is an ablative preposition
ambulo cum agricolis (I walk with the farmers)

Whereas come means:
To advance, to progress, to arrive, to extend, to be a resident, etc.

Therefore in a sexy, loving scene, cum is the perfect choice. Sure, it might make 'ya wince, especially with all the wrong associations we have with it.

Let's quote the line in question:
"She wanted to cum hard and fast for her lover, but the contact was awakening a desire to be touched everywhere, eternally."

Pretty sexy, huh? She wanted to be with her wife in the closest way possible.

Nice job, Urnie!

Roz & Rach

PS. Anyone reading this... please don't think we're psycho :P
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Re: To Cum or not to Cum

Postby Vampivy » Fri Jun 03, 2005 3:18 pm

Roz & Rach, thanks for the clarification on the differences between the words cum and come. It no longer feels as bad to read it as it did before. I feel I have learned a valuable lesson here and I shall go now and spread this newfound knowledge. Seriously though thanks for that guys :x and Sharon I forgot to mention before that I really enjoyed your mini “Black eyed girl” story and I was wondering if they’re would be another installment. The first one was hilarious and it sorta played like a comic strip to me and I’m hoping you continue it.

Thanks again,
Patty
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Urn of Osiris » Wed Jun 15, 2005 11:09 am

*steps into the thread*

All this coming and cuming all over the place. *looks around nervously*

Yes Patty, we should all applaud Rachy and Rozy for their detailed analysis on cuming and coming. They spent heaps of time researching, I'm sure. I can breathe with complete clarity now that we've achieved happiness and a united front ;). I’m also thinking, that the border on X ratedness of this debate, is going to scare some of you away.


Miss Kitty’s B.O.Y. – I’m glad you liked the update. These aren’t my strongest scenes to write. I’m always biting my nails when I post them. I get the romance part of it all but writing it is different. I’d hate for it all to feel like two rough gears coming to grind together. Thanks for reading and for telling me how it made you feel. I’m working on the next chapter now. Hopefully while I’m on vacation, you’ll all get a treat.


Lonewolf – I think, the two can exist apart from the other, but I really wanted to display their complete devotion in this update. I don’t want to write them like horny single minded women. I do however, think that these two, as I write them, connect on every level and this chapter was the reward of giving your emotional self to another. Plus, who likes being away from their lover. There is still a lot of story to come about Patrick and Brenda so hold on. This won’t have the intensity that P&P had, but it will still hit a few tough moments.

Patty – Wow, who knew cuming could be so complicated. I’ll agree that it isn’t soft and cuddly, but in the heat of the moment who hasn’t wanted to just explode with excitement. Eeek, did I really just say that?
Your quote, I like to think that love really will steal your heart and breath and soul, without taking your identity. I’ll always be in awe of love that sees everything and still chooses to be. I think Willow and Tara would see it and most definitely bask in the glory of it.
I think Tara became tech savvy out of necessity. That’s all I’m going to say about that for now.
I’ll tell you about that forest scene in P&P. It was one that I had completely visualized before even writing the fic. I kept it stored in my head and once I’d finally typed it all out I still had a lot of tale to tell. I guess you could say the entire fic came from a need to write that scene. The rest of it all just developed around that. Kinda crazy.
Brenda will… might… could…
Perhaps you should just keep reading. :D
I’m very happy to hear you liked the mini fics. They are fun to write and keep the sillyness alive. I never thought of Crayon breaky Willow as comic-like. Now that you mention, it’s too bad I can’t draw. Ah well, you’ll just have to enjoy the art drawn by your minds’ eye.

Cooper – You hit it right on. Being apart sucks and nothing hurts more than to have life changing events happen without you. This was all about knowing where you belong and the quest to be there. Thanks for reading and for taking the time to leave feedback.

Rachy & Rozy – Lookie who’s become the cum/come experts. ;) Your families must be so proud. I’d say a fine use of googling skills! Or maybe it was dictionary dot com. Either way, you have thoroughly informed all readers on the fine art of cuming and coming. And on that note I shall be going. :P


And there you have it, short and sweet, now here’s a treat.


Black Eyed Girl part 2



"But I thought you liked when I did that." She stretched her leg, mimicking the manoeuvre.

Willow eyed her lover. She couldn't help but lick her lips at the sight of Tara, contorting her body. "I more than like it. I just didn't like the come down that follows."

Tara eyed her sheepishly. "Sorry baby."

The redhead touched her swollen cheek.

"We could try something different?" Tara suggested.

Willow raced to the bed, grabbing the fanned open book. "Not so fast." She waved her finger.




TBC ...,,
Urn of Osiris
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby SakuraEtsuko » Fri Jul 08, 2005 5:56 pm

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!! :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap

this series is magnificent!!! i just started the other day with the look of love and then pathways and patterns and now this? you are an amazing amazing amazing amazing amazing amazing author!!!! more more more more pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaassssssseeeeeee???

i love it!

lol next time i promise ill write something more intelligent lol!

btw: where is dawn? are we gonna see her anytime? juuuust wonderin!

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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby WillowRulez » Fri Jul 08, 2005 9:51 pm

Oops, how could I miss that update??? Darn vacations threw me off my Kitten schedule!
The story is still awesome. Of course the nakedness in the last update didnt hurt :flirt *waiting for an update*
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"System? It's called the alphabet!"
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby UnderTheirSpell » Wed Jul 13, 2005 12:38 am

:wtkiss

Ok, Urnie - seeing as how it's 3:30 in the a.m., long feedback just ain't happenin' right now, BUT...

:balloons thank you for the yummy, sexy goodness! I think Imma go um...*join* my wife in bed now - *anxiously awaiting more*
Tara. I've, uh, realized that I’m kinda gay, and I, uh, think I want to be kinda gay with you.

"Green Eyed Monster" by Binky
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Urn of Osiris » Mon Jul 18, 2005 4:50 pm

Hello again!

It really has been ages since I was here. I was on another wonderful action packed adventure to Australia. Loved it! I wish I could have stayed longer. I haven't written anything in ages. I intended to fill vacant moments with writing. I just didn't have any vacant moments. Well I did, but I read a few books on the beach instead. I ate mountains of really shit junkfood and have the wider ass to prove it. Max Brenner is the god of chocolate. *bows to his big bald head*

I'll thank you all for reading and for leaving feedback. I'm about to post the last chapter I've got written. I hope you enjoy it because it might be a bit before I get back to the computer.


Karen - Wow, that was a serious amount of applause. Thank you for starting at the beginning and meeting up to the current parts. Quite a journey and I'm glad you are enjoying it. There will be more, it's just very slow to come. I hope you are patient. I'm not sure what I'll do with Dawn yet, but she will eventually pop in to give Al the once over.


WillowRulez - I totally understand how vacations get in the way of fic updates. Thanks for waiting, I hope you had food and drink because I'd hate for you to have withered away. Happy to hear you liked the last chapter. The scenes are always difficult to write so I bite my nails until they are finally posted.


undertheirspell - Glad you liked the update. More is on the way. Thanks for the feedback.



And now what you've all been waiting for..................

All the previous disclaimers apply



Chapter 13



“You are amazing.” The heaving breath broke through the darkness.

She smiled. “I try.”

“You make it look effortless.”

She pulled her pant legs down over her freshly covered feet. “I had a great teacher.”

“How long will I have to wait until you show me everything you’ve got?”

“I suppose I could give you a little bit more, but if I show you everything you might replace me.” She pulled on her boot.

“I’d never replace you.” A crooked smile puffed his cheek. “It’s not like Slayers are gonna drop from the sky.”

She hesitated, thinking. “True enough.” She returned to their lesson. “So, this next one is about focus.” She placed her palms on the dew-covered grass. “You’ll find that the more you do it,” she groaned as her feet elevated off the ground, planting her hands deeply into the soft soil, “the greater your stamina will become.”

He mirrored her position. “Focus?”

She shifted until her body was completely suspended, parallel to the earth. Her right arm moved to rest on her thigh. She’d practiced for years to perfect the one handed side plank, a yoga position few could master.

He dropped to the ground. “Stamina?”

Buffy fought to hold the position. His suggestive tone caused her to tumble. She looked up at his red-ripened cheeks. “You know? To keep up in a fight.”

“We were talking about fighting.” He rubbed his hands together. “I get it now.” He checked the grass for sticks and rocks before planting his palms back on the ground. He copied Buffy’s every move, closing his eyes to concentrate.

She circled his body. “Very good, Al. You’re a fast learner. Giles would be impressed.” She grabbed hold of his ankles, changing his balance.

He couldn’t maintain the position. His knees dropped to his chest and he rolled forward into a squat before hopping immediately back to his feet.

The maneuver impressed the seasoned Slayer. She formed an aggressive stance.

He copied her pose. “You looking for a fight?”

“I might be.” She side-stepped.

“I don’t care what powers you possess, I’d never hit a woman.” He dropped his hands to his sides.


Buffy took an innocent swing and he lifted his arms in defense. “Demons come in all shapes and sizes,” she counterpunched and caught him in the chin, “and sexes, too.” She swept her leg to clip him in the ankle and he tripped backward. He tried to flip up but the seasoned Slayer was swift and before he could blink she’d straddled him to the ground. “They won’t look twice before taking every advantage.”

“Take advantage, huh?” He relaxed. “So, what should I do now?”

“You should try to throw me off balance.” She smiled, leaning forward to move all of her weight onto his torso.

“Something aggressive I suspect?”

She readied herself for his response. “Give it a try.”

His hands rose to her waist. He pulled her down, face to face. He wet his lips and waited for her eyes to answer. “I was thinking I might try something a little different.”

Buffy closed her eyes, briefly, as his fingers found an exposed space of flesh. “What might that be?”

“It’s kinda tricky.” His hands moved to her chin and face. “You might not know this one.” He kissed her softly. Their lips grazed with a light touch. He moved back to the ground and waited for the Slayer to open her eyes.

Buffy sat motionless. It seemed like hours passed before she looked back down at him. Her fingers touched her lips. It was an awakening. Emotion rolled across her like the soft brush of the morning tide. It was the briefest kiss, yet it touched her to the very center of her soul.

The woman atop him was silent. “You alright?”

She realized she hadn’t spoken. “Yeah.” She shook off her surprise. “I just…”

“It was too much?” He pushed upwards to sit, keeping the woman in his lap. He could sense the rate of Buffy’s heart.

“It’s been a long time, Al.” She touched her lips again.

He nodded. “I’m not very experienced. I’m sorry.” His hands moved off her body. “I shouldn’t have…” He tried to stand.

Buffy adjusted her body, pushing him back to the ground. “Not you, silly.” She smiled, her face hovering inches above his. “Me.”

“You?” His expression turned with confusion.

“It has been a very long time since anyone has kissed me.”

He was surprised and didn’t try to hide it. “Seems like a terrible waste of a beautiful woman.”

Her cheeks felt fire hot, and she was nowhere near a flame. “Maybe.”

“There’s no maybe about it. If I say it’s so, it’s so.” He gave her a wicked grin.

“So that’s how it’s gonna be then, male domination and all of that?” Her hands forced against his shoulders and she stepped up from his lap.

His jaw dropped open. “That’s not what I…”

She interrupted. “It was really wonderful.” She turned to walk toward the cabin, running her fingers across her lips. “Oh, and Al.”

“Yeah?”

The Slayer paused, staring up at the night sky. “Be careful about using the word never.” Her voice echoed with regret. “Being a Slayer changes everything.”

He watched Buffy enter the cabin. He rolled forward and pressed his body into the handstand. Without Buffy’s distraction he balanced his body into the same position. The sound of the river running over the glistening stones enhanced the serenity of his meditation.

Buffy entered the cabin to find Abbey and Patrick as she’d left them, cuddled up reading an old journal. She plopped into the rustic cabin chair. She unlaced her boots and flipped them under the game table. “So, what’s this that you’re reading?”

Abbey looked over the cover’s edge. “It’s one of my grandmother’s books. We found it.”

Buffy squeezed beside them. “What’s it about?”

“Magic.” Abbey pointed to the page. “Grandma kept all her favorite stories about it in here.”

“Stories?” Buffy looked at the cover. “Do your mothers know that you’ve been reading this?”

“I’ve had this since we brought grandma’s trunk home.” Abbey set it in the Slayer’s lap.

Buffy remembered the dusty book Tara had discovered before Donnie’s brutal attacks. She looked at the children and studied the book closer. “What have you been reading?”

Patrick pointed to the text his grandmother’s hand had penned. “This is about story telling.” He sounded out the words. “an-ces-tral his-to-ri-an.”

Buffy feigned understanding. “Sounds interesting.”

“I think it means the person that tells the family history.” Abbey flipped back a page. “Uncle Peter wrote these.”

“Who’s Uncle Peter?” Al closed the cabin door behind him. He dusted off the front of his pants before hanging his hat on a hook on the wall.

Buffy shrugged her shoulders.

He watched as she read through the entries.

“I think it was Tara’s uncle.” Buffy leaned closer to get a better look.

“Mommy had an Uncle?”

Buffy smiled. “I guess? I don’t know.”

Al sat beside them. “Let me have a look.” The four of them made a cozy picture, nestled tightly on the cabin sofa. Al read through the first pages. “This is their family history.” He looked at Buffy and pointed to the list. “These are all of Tara’s relatives.” His finger traced the trail of names.

Buffy stared at the text. “You’re sure they know that you have this book?”

Abbey hesitated. “It was in the trunk. Mommy said we could.”

“I know she said you could look in the trunk, but does she know that you’ve been reading this?”

Both children shrugged. Patrick stared at Buffy with his most innocent eyes. “We didn’t ask.”

Both adults knew the answer. The closer they examined the text the easier it was to recognize it as a family treasure. “How long have you had this?”

“I’ve had it since a long time ago.” She looked down at her lap. “It made me feel better after my bad dreams.”

Buffy took the book. “I think we better put this away until I talk to your mothers.” She tucked it atop the shelves by the door. “How about we toast some marshmallows?”

“Smores?” Patrick smiled.

Buffy pulled out the bag of puffed treats. “If Al remembered the chocolate and graham crackers, we can eat ‘em till we puke.” She opened the saddlebag. “Al?”

“Yeah?” He stared back, aware of what she’d discovered. He briefly explained, “it’s for, just in case.”

The brunette fastened the leather pocket. “Just in case?”

“What?” Abbey’s leaned to see around the man’s torso. “What’s for just in case?”

“Nothing.” Al sorted through the other bag. “I’ve got crackers and I’ve got sugary goodness.” He handed them to Buffy.

“What’s the stuff for just in case?” Patrick pulled himself across his sister’s lap. He stretched to reach the bag on the end table beside them.

With Slayer swiftness, Al pulled it out of their reach. “It’s for adults. Just in case of an emergency.”

“Oh.” Patrick was immediately disinterested.

Abbey whispered. “It’s sex stuff.”

He wrinkled his nose with disgust. “Gross.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “It is not.”

Al smiled. “It’s not which?”

“It’s not which, what?” Buffy’s confused expression entertained the man. The children giggled.

“It’s not sex stuff, or it’s not gross?” He winked playfully.

Buffy turned to Patrick and Abbey. “It’s not funny.”

The three burst into laughter. After a serious glare, Buffy conceded and joined in. They tore open the packages and feasted on smores. Their sugar fest went well beyond bedtime.



After a long session of bedtime snuggles, Buffy came out of the small bunkroom.

“They’re all tucked in?” Al patted the empty space beside him on the couch.

Buffy stretched her arms over her head. “Yeah. I think Patrick’s worried about the book.” She sat beside the man, pulling her legs up tightly against her.

“He seemed to react strangely.” His arms dropped around her shoulder. “Should we be worried?”

“You’re kidding me, right?” She turned to stare directly into his eyes. “This is a complete worry scenario. I’m positively panicked.”

“I can see that.” He smiled. “So what’s the deal?”

“Who knows? It could be anything.” Her brow furrowed. “You know them, Will and Tara, I mean. This stuff happens all the time.”

He shook his head. “Not in the time I’ve known them.”

Buffy scooted away. She turned her body so she could look at Al directly. “You’re kidding, right?”

“We’ve discussed magic and some other crazy Sunnydale happenings, but nothing has ever happened here.” He hesitated. “Well, except for the stuff with Tara’s brother. I suppose that was big.”

“That’s not even supposable.”

He pulled her feet into his lap. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make light of it.” He rubbed his thumbs across the curve of her arch.

Buffy threw her arms up over the cushion of the couch. “That feels great.” She smiled. “I know you didn’t. It’s just when it comes to those two in there...”

He interrupted. “Yeah, slay first, ask questions later.”

She flexed her leg, pushing his arms against his chest. “I only slay demony things. That’s a Slayer’s job.”

“I guess I need to take a look at my handbook.” He held tightly, forcing his thumbs against the tense flesh of her foot.

“Page four-hundred and six.” She smiled. “Learn it, live it, love it.” She moved her leg, replacing it with the other.

Al looked for a crack in Buffy’s straight face. “There’s really a book?”

“Oh, there’s a book, somewhere, but don’t count on anyone ever giving you a peek.” She fought the laughter building inside her.

“You’re joking, right?” He stopped rubbing her feet, waiting for a reply.

Buffy stared back, wiggling her toes to encourage him to continue. “You’re stopping.”

He smiled. “You’re teasing.”

“Just a little.”

His hands returned to their directed duty. “It’s not nice.”

“It made you smile.” She waited for him to look at her. “I like your smile.”



**********



Tara squirmed closer to her wife. Her hand swept across Willow’s sweat-soaked hair, pulling it away to reveal the wide smile in its shadow. The blonde adored the moment. It was like stealing a glimpse at heaven, and her eternal reward. The thought that this woman was hers made her tremble.

Willow could sense the blonde’s stare. Her hands knowingly rested on the gentle rise and fall of breath moving beneath Tara’s ribs. She hated to welcome light but opened her eyes to discover pure beauty staring back at her. “Hi.” Her voice faltered, mirroring the exhausted, euphoric state of her entire body.

Tara smiled. “Hi, right back.”

Willow turned to sweep the hair from her cheeks. “So I guess you missed me?”

“I really did.” She ran her finger along the length of Willow’s face. The slow, deliberate act raised the hairs on her lover’s arms. “Don’t go away any more.”

The redhead smiled. “Okay.”

They listened to the quiet breathing, each enjoying the sound of the other.

Tara wasn’t sure why she was asking. “Do you want to get up?” Her hand returned to drift the length of her lover’s face.

Willow closed her eyes, breathing deeply. Her body filled with the sweet scent of their love. “Do I have to?”

Tara smiled. “No,” she giggled, “the place is still very quiet.” Her fingertip played in the soft curve of the redhead’s neck. “We can stay here for as long as you want.”

“Good.” The redhead closed her eyes and listened to the silence of the house. She listened to the thundering of her heartbeat, as it pulsed against the mattress’s firm fleece. As her mind woke, each thought made way for another. They tumbled together, combining into hazy focus.

The blonde watched the wrinkles mar her wife’s brow. “Will?” The redhead ignored her. “Willow.” Tara’s tone intensified, insisting on attention.

Green eyes popped open. She stared at her lover. “Tar?”

“You disappeared.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

Tara rolled over the edge of the bed. She walked to the window and looked out into the yard. She drew in a languid breath as her hand pulled the shade the full length of the window, blocking out the fully risen sun.

Willow watched. Her eyes followed Tara’s every move. She noticed the way the glass of the window filled the low and high waves of her lover’s hair. Willow’s breath hitched as Tara stood in full view, the bursting light of day shining like a spotlight on the blonde’s body. Her eyelids copied the motion of the window shade, desiring to paint a mental image of what she’d just observed. She was in love, as much as the day they’d first confessed it. She felt a simple gratitude and shared disbelief. What had she ever done to deserve such a gift?

Tara pulled back the bed sheet, and tucked herself against her wife. “Better?” Her icy feet ran up Willow’s calf.

The red head trembled. “Oh, yes.”

The blonde spoke quietly. “Where did you just disappear to?” She held Willow against her breast.

“I was just thinking about you.”

“Oh, what about me?”

“How hot you’d look in silver spandex.”

Tara laughed, the motion jostling their bodies. “Really? Was I climbing out of the water?”

Willow smiled. “Uh huh.”

Tara played along. “And did I do that thing with my hair, where I flip it back and water goes flying?”

“It was very sexy.” Willow felt a soft hand move to the taught skin on her abs.

“You big liar.” The blonde pulled the redhead snugly to her.

“Yeah, but it is way better than what I was thinking.” Their bodies separated as she rolled to look at her wife’s face.

Tara’s smile faded. “Tell me, Will.”

She hesitated briefly before confessing. “I missed it.”

Tara was sure what the ‘it’ was, and made a guess. “There was no way we could have known, sweetie.”

“But I should have been there.” Her fingers brushed the silver charm dangling in the hollow of Tara’s chest. “It was a big deal.”

“So was the hearing.” Tara whispered. “I wish we could have been there together.”

“It’s all that legal mumbo jumbo. That’s why I hated it.”

“You sure that’s what it really is?” Tara knew. There was a simple, yet complex, synchronicity between them.

“Stop knowing me so well!” She pouted playfully.

Tara smiled. “It’s what I do. So stop fighting it and tell me what’s really bothering you.”

There was no tension in the redhead’s response.“I don’t even know how to explain it Tara. I just…”

The blonde silenced her lover. “Tell me here.” She touched her temple, and then slowly touched Willow’s. “I can hear how loud your mind is. I know.”

The redhead closed her eyes. She concentrated on her breathing, and then slowly, her focus shifted to Tara’s. She could feel the synchronicity. “I wasn’t there for him. He’s going to remember that I wasn’t there.” Tears forced though the ridges of her tightly closed eyes.

“Willow!” Craving to heal the pain her wife was suffering, her thumb brushed the redhead’s cheek, the flesh glazed with weeping.

The redhead continued. “You didn’t even call to tell me.”

Tara spoke. “I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t make it easier.” Willow opened her eyes.

Tara thought carefully. “I worried you’d be sad about missing it.”

She nodded. “I am, but not as much as not knowing it happened at all.”

“Willow, please don’t be angry.”

The redhead sat forward, leaning against the headboard of the bed. “I’m not angry. I’m disappointed.”

Tara scooted her body back, positioning herself to hold Willow’s hand. “I’m sorry.” Her thumb traveled the length of Willow’s finger.

The sensation of Tara’s touch soothed the redhead. “I know you wanted to surprise me. It’s just not the kind of thing I want as a surprise.”

Tara’s thumb stilled. “I don’t know what else to say.”

“Say you’ll never do it again.” Her expression was weak, pleading.

The blonde read the look. She knew her lover and could tell when she was at her most vulnerable, and this was the moment when Willow needed to know. “I promise.” Tara understood, recognized the silent scream of exclusion. “I didn’t mean to make you feel…” She couldn’t find the right words.

Willow turned away. She pulled her hand to free it from her wife’s. Her true feelings having been discovered, she spoke them aloud. “I’ve been here for you. I’ve been here for every good thing and bad thing and when it really mattered I was gone. I wasn’t even in the same State.”

Tara began to translate her wife’s emotions. “Willow Rosenberg, you are nothing like her. Don’t you ever think that you are anything like her.” She touched Willow’s chin, turning their eyes back upon each other.

“I ...”

“No!” Tara’s tone startled the redhead. “Nothing like her. You had reasons for being away.”

She released the tears she’d been fighting to hide. “So did my mother.” Willow buried her face in the bend of her arm, wiping the tears clouding her vision. “Every important moment in my life, Tara. Every single one, she was away doing something important. Something else was always more important.”

Tara’s hands reached up. She opened herself to her lover.

“He’s going to think I didn’t care.” She wept against her wife’s breast.

“You are wrong, Will.” Her arms tightened around the shaking woman. “He was so happy. He wanted you to be there, but he was so excited to surprise you.”

She looked up, finding Tara’s smiling blue eyes. “Really?”

“Yes, sweetie, really.” Tara inwardly lashed herself. She wondered how she could have been so insensitive. For every insecurity Tara had from her father’s abuse, Willow had equal amounts lingering from her mother. “We were all very surprised that the halo came off. I don’t think I’ve ever seen our boy smile that big.”

“So he wasn’t sad that I was away?”

“He was sad that you weren’t there. He even wanted to wait one more day.”

“So what changed his mind?”

“More like a who.”

“Who?” She waited, but before Tara could speak, she guessed. “Buffy.”

Tara nodded. “She thought it would make a good homecoming present.”

“I suppose it did.” Willow smiled. “I’m sorry I was so stupid.”

“It isn’t stupid to care about your son’s feelings.” Tara wrapped her arm around her wife, guiding the redhead into her lap.

“Tell me. I want to know everything that I missed.”

“First, I have to ask. Spandex?” Tara smiled. “Rented or in room programming?”

“Download.” Willow glanced up, doe-eyed.

“You downloaded it.” Tara shook her head with mock disgust. “You downloaded Tomb Raider?”

“It helped me fall asleep.”

“Riiiiight.” The blonde nodded. “And you fast forwarded through all the opening scenes, too.”

“Those are my favorite… to skip… through.” An audible gulp was heard. “Still love me?”

“Always.”

“Even though I lust after Angelina?”

Tara giggled. “Yes, baby, but it better be hands off lusting.”

Willow’s eyes widened. “Tara.” She pushed back to look at her wife.

“What?” Her blonde lashes fluttered over sea-blue eyes.

“It’s not porn.”

“Good, because the only hands that are allowed to touch you are mine.”

“Staking claim there, butch?”

“You better believe it.”

Willow bit back her laughter. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were wearing pants.”

“Maybe you better check.” She pulled the covers over her head.

The redhead billowed the sheet and followed her wife underneath. “Maybe I better.”



TBC......................................
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Emms » Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:44 pm

Oh my god...how real that was. The interraction between Willow and Tara toward the end, was just....so powerful. I really felt where Willow was coming from when she explained to Tara how much not knowing about patrick hurt her. And I really loved, Urn, the fact that the moment Willow said how much that hurt her and when she asked Tara never to do that again....Tara's response was: "I Promise." That was just perfect. It really shows how deep their love really is...there's no questioning or defensiveness....Willow's words were just accepted with love and understanding....and that's what made it so real. Thank you for this wonderful update Urn. I trully love this world you've created for our girls.

xoxo
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby WillowRulez » Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:05 pm

Oyyy, I could feel Willow's deperation just by reading about her feelings. Very well written!
So, what was in the saddle bag? :x
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby vix84 » Mon Jul 18, 2005 11:12 pm

Awwwwwwwwwww.

Welcome back, Urnie! I think I speak for everyone in the thread when I say it's been too long.

Such a great update. Even if you did make me shake my head with amusement at the Angelina lines.

I thought the part where Willow tells Tara how hurt she felt is absolutely spot on, relationship wise. It was clearly something she felt reluctant to spring on Tara, but I feel her relief that she did so.

The fic is awesome and I can't wait for the next part (stop unpacking and send me the next chapter!)

Love you lots!

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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Lonewolf22 » Tue Jul 19, 2005 11:17 pm

Urn of Osiris: First off welcome back, secondly GREAT UPDATE, I absolutely, positively LOVED Willow and Tara being together in their room, just great. I really loved how Willow tells Tara how scared she is about being like her mother, and I loved how Tara just told her that she was nothing like her and she would never be like her. The Angelina lusting was really funny, but you can't really blame Willow too much. I really liked the Buffy and Al flirting, that was really cool. I'm really curious about this family history journal that Abbey has, and why did it make her feel better about her bad dreams? I can't wait to read more.

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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Vampivy » Fri Aug 19, 2005 3:11 pm

Please forgive my lateness there’s absolutely no excuse.

I have to say I’m really giddy about the way Buffy and Al’s relationship is progressing. Wow! We got to see the first kiss :bounce . I’m really enjoying the way they are getting along. The contents of that saddlebag have kept me very curious. Interesting indeed. :eyebrow

It’s truly heartbreaking to see how hurt Willow was not being able to be there for Patrick. I have to admit that I didn’t think make the connection right away with her past and her mother. I guess I was just so wrapped up in how hurt she was and my mind didn’t move beyond that until Tara made the connection and thank god she continues to be such an infinitely loving and intelligent woman. Then you go and top yourself by adding Angelina Jolie to your story and I swear I almost wet myself. I shall resist the temptation to elaborate on that some more and simply thank you for that.

I’m hoping the writing is coming along well and just to let you know I’ll be here waiting patiently for the next update. I’m a little sad that his thread has reverted back to its previous state of very little feedback. For those that have chosen to comment privately, you guys rock! :clap And for those that haven’t I promise no more cum vs. come questions from me. I’ll send those to Sharon privately next time. My apologies all around you guys. :flower

Take care Sharon and come back soon.

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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby UnderTheirSpell » Wed Aug 24, 2005 4:43 pm

*pops head in* No update :cry

*leaves a plate of warm cookies and a :flower *

Hope everything is ok - looking forward to more soon.
Tara. I've, uh, realized that I’m kinda gay, and I, uh, think I want to be kinda gay with you.

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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby vix84 » Wed Aug 24, 2005 5:38 pm

So...

*walks in and glances around expectantly*

No update, huh?

Where is it, Urnie?

I love this fic. There is so much in it that I want to scream at new kittens to read it, even if it means searching through archives and reading all the million prequels and other parts. You keep the BtVS characters true to canon but add your own ideas and setting, and it works perfectly. If there was a fic award, I'd nominate you, woman!* I hope you keep writing this because it deserves to be told and to be shared with others.

*I'm sure there is one but I can't be bothered looking for one.
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby Urn of Osiris » Thu Sep 15, 2005 4:45 am

Hello hello hello!!!!

I'm back and I've got some great fic in store for all of you. I've sent the next chapter off to the Beta, and I thought I might reply to the lovely people that were kind enough to share their thoughts.

I'll let you know that there is a HUGE cliff at the end of the forthcoming chapter. Consider yourselves warned.


Emms - I've spent a lot of time, in my fics, sorting through Tara's feelings of inadequacy. I wanted to explore a few of Willow’s. I think we all carry wounds that are triggered when we least expect it. I’ve tried to write Willow with quiet strength and I thought something like this might rock her emotionally. I wanted it to be unexpected between them. I’m glad you could feel that.
Tara's response was: "I Promise." That was just perfect. It really shows how deep their love really is...there's no questioning or defensiveness....Willow's words were just accepted with love and understanding....and that's what made it so real.

I felt it would be true to their relationship for Tara to know what Willow was really asking for, understanding without question. It wasn’t about right or wrong, it was about listening and being heard. Something they nurture in their relationship. Well, at least in the one I’m writing.

Thank you so much for reading and for leaving such thought provoking feedback. I’m glad the message was heard.


Willowrulez – I’m happy to read that the emotions were real for you. I was trying to stay true to the relationship that I’m writing. Sometimes good intentions don’t turn out so great. We all have those fears that pop up when we least expect them. The saddle bag has a little something I can’t share just yet, but it will come up eventually. Thanks for reading and for taking the time to share what you think and feel.


Rozy – I feel so horrible for taking so long to write this next chapter. I knew what had to be written and I guess I had to be in the right frame of mind to do it. Hopefully everyone will survive the cliff to come.
I had to get a little Angelina in there. I mean really, who doesn’t have secret fantasies about her? :P

I thought the part where Willow tells Tara how hurt she felt is absolutely spot on, relationship wise. It was clearly something she felt reluctant to spring on Tara, but I feel her relief that she did so.


I think you hit it with that comment. It was about sharing feelings, not about being right or wrong. I’m so glad that the scene read well and the intention wasn’t lost. Thank you for reading and for leaving your comments. I adore all of your support. Holy crap, has it been that long since the last update? Shame on me. MWA!


Lonewolf22 – Thank you! I’m very pleased that you liked the chapter. I thought it was an important scene. It was a moment of intimacy and vulnerability that could only be shared in that setting, naked and raw. Sometimes we have to strip away everything to share the innermost fears. I wanted it to feel like we were there, part of the room around them.
What can I say about Angelina? I think you said it already. I’ve never really been a big fan of Buffy as she was written on the show. I think it was lame that she was so emotionally weak after all those seasons. I’m letting her feel something new; love. There’s some tough stuff ahead for them. I hope the readers like it. The book and the family history are going to come up again. That’s all I’ll say for now. More is coming very soon. I can’t believe it took me so long to write. Thank you for reading and for taking the time to share what you thought.


Patty – No forgiveness necessary. I know from pm’s exactly what you think. I appreciate that you take the time to leave public feedback as well. The support is highly appreciated.

Buffy and Al have some big scenes ahead. I think you’ll be a little uneasy with the cliffhanger in chapter 14. I promise you won’t be hanging out there for too long.

The Willow/ Tara scene was something that I wanted to get into the story; that baggage we all carry just below the surface. I think my version of Willow, was just as surprised by her feelings as Tara was. I hope that came across with equal strength.

The writing is coming along great and I’ve worked through the first draft of the next couple of chapters. So the muse is alive and kicking!

Ohhh, the cum and come debate was a welcome distraction and I enjoyed it immensely. I think it cleared things up for a lot of people and I feel so informed now. Like I have been properly educated and will no longer have the sexual confusion about coming. Or is it cuming? *is still confused* Either way you are welcome to start any debate you’d like to.


UnderTheirSpell - *wipes cookie off face* My ass is mad at you because my mouth ate the entire plate of cookies. Thanks so much and an update should arrive very soon. My Beat is hard at work correcting my horrible punctuation and sentence structure. I think I should have left some cookies for her. Maybe chocolate. Either way, I hope you enjoy the next chapter. Thanks for reading.

Rozy – I know I have been a horrible writer. I should have read more trashy novels to inspire the muse sooner. Damn me!!! *smacks self* I can’t believe that it took me two months to update. I feel such shame. I know the prequels are long and getting to the current fic takes so much time. I’m happy that new faces are taking the time to read them. I liked creating every moment in their past and am excited to fill in the yet to be. :P I’m babbling now and that can only mean I need caffeine. Mwa!!! You are the best writer and I’m eager to read your update for Creation. *hugs*


It feels so good to read the feedback that all of you write. Thank you so much for leaving it. I'll also publicly thank the private message senders as well. You are all great inspiration!


Chapter 14 is coming soon. Just days away, or a day. Not weeks though or even a week. It's totally days, or a day. I'm not sure exactly so let's say days, just to give us a little breathing room.

Mwa!
Urn of Osiris
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Re: Leap of Faith (Pathways & Patterns continued)

Postby UnderTheirSpell » Thu Sep 15, 2005 3:59 pm

Oh Urnie- didn't I mention about the cookies? Well, I Musta forgot, but I'm diabetic, see, so they're made with Splenda (tastes just like the real thing, i promise) and Move Over Butter- which has NO trans fats - and sugar-free chocolate...so they're practically guilt-free! Yer ass will thank me down the road, so get with the updating, and I'll whip up another batch, including some for yer beta! *awaits anxiously*
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