Be warned, this is my very first fic (or attempt at one. You be the judge).
I wrote this fic when I was shoe-shopping with my cousin. Now, by shoe-shopping with my cousin, I mean that I buy the first pair of cross-trainers I see that come close to fitting me, and she spends three hours deciding between the black sling-back sandals and the fancier dark grey (excuse me, "granite") strappy open- toed ones. I started thinking about the episodes from season 4 that I'd watched yesterday, and then I started making up a fic in my head set during that time, and when I saw that my cousin was nowhere near done, and since I (luckily for my sanity) had brought my backpack, I outlined my ideas and wrote the first part of the fic. So sorry if its a bit scatter-brained, its hard to write with elevator music in the background and my cousin interrupting me every five seconds to ask which pair of shoes she should choose. (Oh, by the way, she ended up buying both of them).
Anyway, you came here to read a fic, so here it is:
My Fire (yeah, yeah, I know it's a dumb title. Come on, it's 2 in the friggin morning!!!)
By Nora (Elfie) Setting: Season Four, between Superstar and Where the Wild Things Are.
Rating: Pretty clean, probably PG or even G for this part.
Disclaimers: Yeah, yeah, everything belongs to Joss, I am a worthless, propertyless teenager with no rights to anything, so on and so forth...
Part One
Tara made her way out of the dorm building that was, conveniently, on the exact opposite side of campus from her own. She was doing a group project for her sociology class, and since everyone else lived over on this side of campus, she agreed to meet them all there. She was beginning to regret that decision, as she glanced up at the sky, taking in the last red rays of the sun as it moved further down below the horizon. It was going to be dark soon, and she knew that being outside at night in Sunnydale was usually not the best idea, especially considering her previous experiences. She did not like even thinking about those creepy Gentleman and, more recently, that monster with the Greek-looking letter on his head during the whole Jonathan fiasco.
As she hurried across campus, avoiding other students who hadn't yet learned to get inside before nightfall, she heard her name called from behind. She turned around to see the curly- haired girl from the Wicca group calling out to her. Great she thought to herself in frustration. Exactly what I need right now. She hadn't seen the overbearing wannabe Wicca since the last meeting where she had heard Willow talking about spells. Willow. She thought to herself. Now there's a more pleasant thought She allowed herself the pleasure of a few moments thinking about Willow, remembering things they had done together, and feeling the satisfaction she had in knowing how close they had been growing, especially now that she'd actually met her friends and they had more or less started to include her a little more in their group.
But there was something else between them, more than friendship. Something powerful. At least to Tara anyway. She could only hope that Willow felt the same way. Every time Tara saw her, she couldn't help but wonder at her perfection. The way her hair sometimes flipped out at the bottom. The way her eyes lit up when she smiled. The way her brow crinkled a little bit when she was concentrating or really studying hard. But maybe most of all, the cool confidence that she showed when she took Tara's hand as they were walking across the green paths of the campus or the crowded floor of the Bronze.
She was brought out of her silent reverie by the curly-haired girl's annoying voice as she caught up to the blonde Wicca. "Tara. You haven't been at the meetings. We missed you at the bake sale. Where have you been?"
"Nice to see you too, Sarah. Well, recently I've just been... busy. You know. But I really have to be going. It's getting dark." After meeting Willow, the rest of the girls in the Wicca group just seemed like such phony airheads, and Tara really didn't have the desire to attend any more meetings or useless bake sales or write a Gaian newsletter.
"Lisa's been wanting to talk to you. How about we head over to our dorm, she should be there right now." Sarah apparently was not getting the fact that Tara obviously did not want to talk to her, or Lisa, the brown-haired girl that had helped her run the Wicca meetings.
"How about we do it tommorrow? I'm really tired." Tara was trying her best to brush Sarah off, but apparently it was not getting through, as she took Tara's arm and began to walk towards her dorm, pulling Tara along with her. "Look, Sarah, we can talk, but its getting dark, and I'm sure whatever it is it can wait till tommorrow, right?"
"Oh, don't worry, it will only take a minute," Sarah replied, continuing on her chosen path. Tara sighed and resigned herself to go and have a boring conversation with Lisa, probably about how to stock up her spice rack or do a really cool henna tattoo. As long as they didn't keep her too long, she could still get back to her dorm before it was too dark.
They continued up the stairs and into Lisa and Sarah's room. Sure enough, there was Lisa, leaning over her womyn power shrine. She looked up as they walked in, and finished cleaning her shrine before she turned and faced Tara.
"Haven't seen you in a while. We could have used another hand on the Gaian newsletter. You know we can never have enough support in getting the word of blessing out to the sisters." She and Sarah both looked expectantly at Tara, obviously waiting for some sort of explanation or apology.
"I've got some... uh... stuff going on." Tara was not the best at excuses, and she still was not bold enough to come right out and tell them what she thought of their sham of a Wicca group.
"We've seen you a lot with that red-head, Willow. You know she's the type that can suck the power right out of your aura, if you're not careful," replied Lisa. Sarah had taken a seat in the corner, watching the exchange but not interjecting her thoughts. That is, if she was actually forming thoughts, she was not sharing them at the moment.
"Willow is really cool. And yeah, I've been spending a lot of time with her." Tara was getting a little more defensive as Sarah brought Willow into it, and she did not like the direction that this conversation was taking. For one thing, it really bothered her that Lisa was now pretending that she was worried about her, especially after all of the time Tara had been ignored in the Wicca group. For another, Lisa had no right questioning Willow, the smartest, most caring, kindest, most beautiful... Whew... almost lost my train of thought there she reminded herself. Been doing that a lot lately.
"Well, you know, I just was wondering..." Lisa continued, "So, she's been taking you for rides on her broomstick?"
She laughed at her own joke, and Sarah took a break from her job of sitting and pretending to think in order to laugh along with her. The two kept laughing as if it were the funniest thing that they'd ever heard, as Tara sat there and rolled her eyes. If I make a break for the door, I wonder if I can make it down the hall in time before they realize I'm not here. Tara began to inch toward the door, but just as her fingers reached out to feel the sweet cold metal of the doorknob, Lisa started talking again, apparently having recovered from the enjoyment of her own comic genius.
"You really should think it over, I mean. Maybe we can talk about this later or something. Didn't I see you buying that really cool shade of henna? Maybe I could come over and borrow it. My old tatto is fading."
"Actually, I don't know if it will work for tattoos. I really actually bought it because it's a very potent ingredient for this spe..." Tara caught her slip-up before she finished the word. She knew if she mentioned anything that didn't fit into Lisa's narrow world-view that she would get upset and Tara would lose her window of opportunity to get out and get out fast. "I mean sure. You can have some." Lisa seemed content with that, so Tara turned quickly and reached for the door. She got her hand on the knob, turned it, pulled the door inward, almost there, and had one foot outside in the hall...
"Hey Tara," Sarah called from inside the room. Ugh, so close! Tara turned back around and faced the two girls again. "Can I have some, too?"
"Sure, sure," Tara replied in a hurry, and turned towards the door again. "Gotta go!"
"Tara," Lisa called again. Ahhh!!! Will I never get out of here?
"Yes?"
"Don't forget, the meetings are on Tuesdays and Thursdays, 4 o'clock. Can we expect you?" Lisa just wouldn't give up.
Tara responded "We'll see," and quickly turned and walked out the door, shutting it firmly behind her, then rushing down the hall as quickly as possible without tripping over her long patterned skirt. As she pushed the dorm's main doors open and stepped outside, she felt the cool night breeze on her face, and sighed deeply, glad to be out of the room with those two babbling idiots. She had almost forgotten how boring it was to have such a one-sided conversation. Lisa seemed to talk because she sincerely enjoyed hearing her own nasal whine of a voice, not because she actually wanted to engage in some sort of discussion or interchange of ideas with another person. Of course not! That would involve actually listening to other person's opinions, and who needs that when you've got your own, and you already know they're right!
Tara began walking again towards her dorm. It was never like that with Willow. It wasn't just one-sided. Willow actually cared about what she thought about things. She stopped and repeated that to herself. Willow actually cared about what she thought. That hadn't happened for a long time. She wondered if Willow knew how long. Her father had never cared what the hell she thought as long as she got the housework done and obeyed him. Her mother had cared...
Her mother. The only person who had ever really seen her, really known her. Gone. That still hurt. That still sometimes made her cry, when she thought about it. But she let the tears come, because Tara would rather still cry over her mother than stop thinking about her at all. And she knew it would always be like that.
Thinking about it at that moment, she felt a tear fall down her cheek, leaving a moist trail in its wake. She had stopped walking, and stood silently in the shadows of the path to her dorm. She took this path every day, but now somehow it felt different. Strange. In the darkness, everything was transformed, and she felt uncomfortable, like she was being watched. She shivered as a cold breeze brushed past her skin.
What was out there?
My Fire: Part Two
Tara stood still for another moment, trying to detect any sound or motion that would confirm that she was not alone. Then she realized that if there was somebody there, she should be getting as far away as possible, not standing there like live bait. Stupid, stupid! Who do you think you are? she chided herself.
She started walking again, hurrying along the path and trying not to trip and fall. She heard a sound behind her, and her nerves were so much on end that she didn't even waste time in turning around to see what it was. Instead she broke into a run, cursing the long skirt and sandals that she had chosen to wear that day. She heard the noises behind her getting louder, and tried to run faster. She stumbled over a tree root that had snaked its way up through the sidewalk and fell to the ground with a thud. As she got up, she registered the blood on her skinned knees and hands, but kept running. She had lost one of her sandals and could feel the pain in the sole of her foot as the skin was rubbed raw from contact with the pavement. Maybe I should just always wear running shoes... she thought to herself. But she didn't linger too much on the thought, as her mind became focused on one thing and one thing only: escape.
Tara rounded a corner and turned around to finally catch a glimpse of her pursuer. But this action gave the creature time to reach her, and Tara was greeted with the horrendous sight of the vampire's fanged teeth and demonic face as it grabbed her shoulders and arched its neck upwards, preparing to strike. Tara struggled as hard as she could but the vampire's grip was like iron as he pulled her closer to him, pinning her hands between them and effectively disabling her ability to cast. She looked up in horror as the vampire's head began its downward trajectory, its pointed teeth aiming directly at her throat. She squeezed her eyes closed, and prepared for the impact, praying that the vampire would just kill her, and not turn her into a soulless demon.
But the impact never came, and instead Tara was surprised to feel a light layer of dust fall and settle on her shoulders and hair. She cautiously opened one eye, to see Buffy standing there, holding a stake, also covered in a layer of dust.
"Buff..." Tara began to say in utter relief. But she didn't finish as she felt her legs give way beneath her, refusing to support her weight any longer.
****************************
"Tara?" Buffy reacted just in time to catch Tara before she hit the pavement. She hadn't seen who the victim was when she dusted the vamp; she had just been focused on the kill.
Tara wasn't quite unconscious, but she wasn't really fully there either. She kept mumbling and trying to stand back up, although each time she sagged back down, forcing Buffy to catch her again. "Tara, can you hear me? Tara?" Buffy reached out and turned Tara's face upwards, and she repeated her name again. This time, she could see that it registered.
"Buffy..." Tara was able to recognize her; that was a start. Buffy saw Tara also begin to recognize where she was, as she looked around. Another good sign. the Slayer thought to herself. Then the blonde Wicca looked down at Buffy's arms practically holding up her enire weight. She got up quickly, apparently having just remembered how to use her legs, and blushed with embarrassment, obviously uncomfortable in the situation. "Ummmm... sorry." She barely squeaked out.
"Tara, are you OK? Really, I mean, that was a big one..."
"Don't worry, I'm f-f-f," Tara stopped and caught her breath, then looked back up at the Slayer. "I'm fine. Really."
Buffy was not convinced. She registered Tara's disheveled appearance, her bleeding palms and knees, and her one shoeless foot. She had also seen the tight grip that the vamp had on the Wiccan before she had dusted it, and she was sure that would leave bruises. Not to mention what she must be thinking...
It's weird, , Buffy thought to herself. I guess I usually don't think too much about what happens to the people after I dust the vamps. Her job was to kill the creature, move on, and kill the next one she found. If she stopped and thought about everything while she was walking around after dark, then she wouldn't be around much longer to keep saving those people.
But it was different with people that she knew. And Buffy was starting to really like Tara. After all, she had known that she and Faith had switched bodies. If it weren't for her, who knows? She could still be in Faith's body. And Faith could be in her body. Using her body. With Riley...
Abruptly, Buffy remembered where she was, who she was with, and why. She got her mind back on track, back into the present. Now was not the time to worry about her personal life. "Are you OK? Did it bite you?" she questioned the still uncomfortable Wicca. "And come to think of it, what were you doing out so late?"
"You don't have to worry about me, really. I'm fine." Tara was looking at the ground and avoiding eye contact with Buffy. "I really should just get back to my dorm. You need to... you know... patrol." She looked up at the slayer.
Buffy couldn't quite recognize the look she saw in Tara's eyes. It was something like a mix of gratitude and insecurity, as if she didn't want to cause any more trouble for the Slayer. Tara turned akwardly and started to walk away towards her dorm, but Buffy stopped her before she got very far.
"Tara, wait." The Wicca turned around. "You're bleeding." Tara looked down at herself, and then back up at Buffy. "And you really shouldn't be alone right now. Why don't you just come back to our dorm with me? Willow and I can clean you up."
Tara half-smiled at Buffy in gratitude, but added "You sure do don't have to patrol? I mean, you must be busy, vamps and all..."
"Don't worry about it. I was just getting tired anyway, about to take a break. Really. Come on." Buffy took her arm and gently led her towards their dorm. She couldn't stand seeing the Wicca look so uncomfortable around her, especially after how she had helped Willow so much after Oz left. Yeah. she chided herself, it must have really helped for Willow to have a friend that was actually around occasionally when she needed her...
Buffy felt a momentary pang of guilt for the fact that she had been gone during so much of the time that Willow had wanted to talk, watch a movie, or just do something to take her mind off Oz. She just hadn't been there while her best friend was hurting. But she pushed this thought to the back of her mind. She reminded herself that Willow was fine now, even if it was because of the friendship she had with Tara, not because of the one that she had with her.
She stayed lost in thought as they walked slowly towards her dorm. But she was brought back once again as she heard Tara muttering in frustration to herself.
"God, I hate always being the damsel in distress..." Tara was looking down at the ground and kicking little pebbles out of the way as they walked along. She didn't seem to notice that Buffy had heard her.
"Come on, it's not so bad. At least you didn't get rescued by some big strapping guy who now wants to whisk you away and make you fall madly in love with him." Buffy looked at Tara with a friendly half-smile.
With that, Tara smiled back and laughed a little at the highly unlikely situation. Buffy kept talking, trying to put her at more at ease. "I mean, then you'd have to go live in a castle in Never Never Land, and I hear that they have really almost no shopping there. Like none. How can they pretend it's some sort of fantasy world if they've got no Bloomies?"
They both laughed a little bit, then walked on in amiable silence. Buffy was glad to see that Tara was no longer looking down or avoiding her gaze when she looked over. Soon, her toe hit a stair and she realized that they were already at the steps to her dorm. "Well, here we are." The two paused and looked at each other. In a more serious tone, Buffy added, "Really, Tara. Are you alright?"
Tara just smiled. "I'll live."
**************************************
Willow had been sitting in the dorm room staring at the ceiling for about an hour. She looked at the clock. One AM. Ok. An hour and fifty-three minutes. She had been working late on some last minute changes to her C++ lab, which had really been giving her trouble. But even after she finished all of her work and got into bed, she still couldn't seem to quiet her mind enough to sleep. She kept thinking about everything that was going on in her life. Tara. Why couldn't she get Tara out of her mind? What was it about her that made Willow just want to reach out and....
No. She's my friend. I shouldn't think of her like that. My friend, just my friend. But no matter how many times she repeated it to herself, she knew it wasn't true. Tara was not just a friend to her, not any more. No matter how much she denied it, it was a simple fact. A friend didn't fantasize about her friend's legs, and her breasts, her lips...
No. I've got to stop. Tara probably doesn't want to... She's my friend. I'm not going to lose her because of this. If I told her.... What would she do if I told her? Willow's mind was running circles around itself, trying to make sense of a situation that she could not figure out with logic. And that was something new. Something she didn't like. She couldn't look it up in a book...
Wait, are there any books that I could look this up in? I mean, I'm sure there must be something. If Tara and I ever... If we ever.... well, I wouldn't know what to do. There's got to be a book. One with pictures.... Ah! what am I thinking?!?! Tara is my friend. She's my friend.
Willow sighed and stared up at the ceiling again. I wonder if Buffy will be back soon... Willow had thought a thousand times about telling Buffy, what she would do. But she couldn't, she just couldn't. She was so scared.
Suddenly, Willow heard voices outside of the door. "Buff, is that you? Who ya got with you?"
Buffy opened the door and stepped in. "Yeah, Will. It's me. And Tara."
Tara? What's she doing here? Willow thought before coming to her senses. Who cares? Tara's here!
But Willow's excitement at the thought was soon gone when she actually saw Tara. She was a mess. There was blood on her skirt, on her hands, on her feet. She was covered in dust. "Tara? What happened? Are you OK? You're not hurt, are you? What happened? You look hurt. But you're OK, right?" Willow rushed over to where Tara was standing in the doorway, and began looking frantically up and down her frame, making sure that she was not seriously injured.
Tara took Willow's chin in her hand, and gently brought the her face up to look into hers. "I'm fine. Just some cuts." Looking into Tara's eyes at such a close distance, Willow felt her panic dissolve, to be replaced with a much more pleasant feeling.
"Really? You're fine?" Willow questioned hopefully. Tara just nodded.
"Really. Buffy was there. She saved me."
With that, Willow turned around and looked in gratitude at Buffy. "Really? You saved her?"
Buffy was standing in the corner, watching the exchange. "Yeah, you know. Not that big a deal. You know, stake goes in, vamp goes poof. Do it every day. Chosen One and all."
At that, Willow launched herself across the room and hugged the slayer, squeezing her with all her strength. When she realized how weird that must have seemed to Buffy, though, she loosened her hold. "Thank you," she whispered in her ear.
"Any time," Buffy returned, still looking a little strangely at Willow after her outburst. "Anyway, Tara. Why don't you take a shower, and then we can see about some of those cuts and bruises."
"Yeah," Willow added, just glad that Buffy was no longer looking at her like she had died her hair green. "Here, take my towel." She threw the towel over to Tara, who was still standing in the doorway. Then she moved over to her drawers. "Come on over here." She waited for Tara to come closer, then opened her PJ drawer and continued, "See anything that would fit?"
Tara smiled at Willow. "Thanks." They both stood there, looking at each other, with big dumb grins on their faces. Buffy finally cleared her throat, and the two blushed and looked down almost simultaneously.
Willow walked over to her bed and sat down, while Tara went through the drawer and found one of Willow's bigger pairs of pajamas, with pictures of cows on a blue background. "The soap's on that table," Willow offered. Tara nodded and picked it up, then headed out the door.
"Be right back." Willow's eyes followed Tara as she walked out the door, only finally breaking contact when the door was completely shut Tara's footsteps echoed down the hall.
"Now, where is she going to sleep?" Buffy asked, as she also got out her pajamas and stuff to go wash up. Willow glanced over at her bed. Just room for two.
My Fire: Part Three
"Be right back, Will," Buffy said over her shoulder as she headed out the door. "Oh, and do you think we should make a cot for Tara on the floor? I mean, it would probably be pretty comfortable if we used that foam camping mattress in the closet."
"What foam camping mattress?" Willow asked innocently. "I think we gave it to Xander, remember?" Willow knew perfectly well that they still had the mattress rolled up in their closet, but she would much rather share her bed with a certain blonde Wicca. I hope she buys it... Come on, Buffy, come on... she thought to herself as she looked over at the Slayer.
"Why would we give it to Xander?" she replied. "He hasn't gone camping for a while." She looked at Willow questioningly.
"Well, neither have we, you know, and... ummm...." Come on, Willow, think! "Well, remember, he and Anya were going to go, you know, to get away from the basement for a couple of days? Don't you remember they were planning that?" Willow tried to put on a sincere face, but couldn't help but look nervous. God, I really am the worst liar ever...
"I don't remember hearing about that..." Buffy was still looking strangely over at Willow. But then she shrugged her shoulders. "Well, I guess if you say so..." Willow let out a sigh of relief. Buffy continued, "I really gotta go take a shower. I'm like a vampire urn. But, if you're sure that we don't have the mattress, I guess she has to stay with one of us..."
"Yeah, that makes sense," Willow replied, just glad that Buffy had stopped asking about the camping mattress.
"I think she's still a little uncomfortable around me. I don't know why... Maybe you guys should just share then."
A big dumb grin broke out on Willow's face. Woo hoo! Finally! I thought she'd never ask! But then she realized that Buffy was still there, and that the Slayer was already suspicious after the whole mattress debate. She forced her face into a more serious expression. "Well, I suppose we wouldn't want to make her more uncomfortable. Yeah, that's it. Good thinking Buffy." She was struggling to keep her serious face on, as her lips kept trying to curl their way upwards.
"Well I guess that settles it," Buffy replied as she turned and headed out down the hall towards the showers. Willow waited until she was gone, and then allowed the big dumb grin to once again make an appearance.
Tara chose just that moment to walk back into the dorm room, dressed in Willow's big pajamas, which were still a tad too small for her. Tara smiled when she saw Willow's expression and asked teasingly, "What's got you in such a good mood?"
Willow jumped clumsily up from the bed, startled out of her thoughts. It didn't help that the subject of those thoughts was standing a few short yards away. "What, huh? Ummm... nothing."
Tara smiled at Willow. "Must be a pretty nice nothing to get you to smile like that."
"Oh yeah... just thinking..." Willow blushed when she looked up to see Tara still smiling at her. God, what is it with me today? She reprimanded herself, I can't keep a straight face for five seconds! Trying to cover for herself, she quickly changed the subject. "Anyway, I should be asking about you. How are you doing? We should probably check all those cuts and bruises to make sure nothing's serious."
Tara's smile faded, and she began to look a little more uncomfortable again. "Really, I'm fine. Nothing too bad. I don't want to make any more trouble for you guys... I mean, I'm already in your dorm room, and you should be asleep by now, and Buffy had to stop patrolling to take me back here in the first place. I just don't... want... to be such a, well, nuisance."
Willow's heart broke to see Tara feel so bad about herself. She wanted Tara to feel welcome, wanted, cared about. Can't she see how much I lo... how much I... how much she means to me?
"Come here," she said gently. Tara came closer, but she was still looking down at the floor. Willow moved around to face her, and gently took Tara's head in her hands, lifting her face up so that they were even.
As soon as Tara looked into her eyes, Willow was wondrously, marvelously lost. All she could smell was the soap on Tara's skin and the shampoo in her hair. All she could see was Tara's beautiful face, inches from her own. Her eyes, her nose, her full, pink lips... All she could feel was the softness of Tara's cheeks as her fingers began to slowly stroke up and down the side of her face... Willow wanted to stay lost in their own private world forever, where nothing existed except for the two of them. She felt herself drawing closer, as if magnetically pulled towards the other Wicca. All that was left separating them was a few cursed inches of air, and Willow didn't want even that. Closer, closer... now just mere millimeters...
At that, the door burst inwards, and Buffy walked back into the room. Willow and Tara jumped away from each other, blushing madly. Willow began to intently study the edge of her covers, as if the cloth was the most interesting thing she had seen in her life. Tara was just looking at the floor, turning bright red from her ears all the way down to her belly-button, which was visible in Willow's too-small pajamas.
Buffy looked up and, apparently just noticing the two other girls in the room and their flustered appearances, gave them each a weird look. "What have you two been up to?"
"Ummmm.... nothing! Nothing at all!" Willow managed to squeak out. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD!!! her mind was screaming, incapable of forming rational thought at the moment.
"Ok, whatever," Buffy returned, still looking sideways at Willow. "Just forgot my loofah. Be back in a few." She walked back out the door, and Willow collapsed with a sigh on her bed. What the hell was I doing?!?! her mind screamed at her.
But she just smelled so nice, I couldn't help it!!!... Jeez, what kind of lame excuse is that? ... Well, she didn't try to stop you did she? ... Wait, that's not the point! She's my friend, just my friend! ... But, just look at her, how can I help myself? Willow looked over at Tara, who was still blushing madly. Willow noticed how the tight-fitting pajamas left the pink flesh of her stomach quite visible as well as outlining some of the most appealing aspects of the blonde's figure...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going crazy!!! Willow caught herself still staring at Tara, and went back to studying the fabric of her bedspread. Great job, you've made her even more uncomfortable now! Well, what are you just standing here for, do something!
"Ummmm... Tara?" The blonde looked up at the mention of her name, obviously still feeling out of place. "Tara... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have... I didn't mean to..." Willow took a breath to calm herself. "I'm sorry. Are you OK?"
"I-I-I-I" Tara stuttered, still blushing. Willow moved over to stand next to her. Tara hadn't stuttered around her for a long time, and it saddened her to see Tara so upset that she would start again.
"Tara, I'm sorry, really. I didn't mean to upset you." Quieter, she added, "I won't do it again."
"No!" Tara's sudden straightforwardness surprised Willow, who jumped back a little. "No," Tara continued more softly, "That's not what I meant." Now, she added so quietly that Willow could barely hear her, "I liked it..." With that, she began to blush again, and looked down at the ground, studying her bare feet.
Willow was so stunned and happy that, for once, she could not form a thought. She just smiled and pulled Tara into a hug. "I'm glad." Tara returned the hug, clumsily at first, then began to lean her weight forward against Willow. Willow was lost again, in a good way, and began tracing little patterns on Tara's back. Tara pressed her face into Willow's shoulder and just held on. They stayed like that, blissfully quiet and content.
After a few minutes, however, Willow remembered where they were and the fact that Buffy would be back any second. "Tara?" she asked softly.
"Mmmmmm," was all that Tara replied, still holding on.
"Tara, as much as I don't want to... Buffy is going to be back really soon, and... umm...." Willow glanced down, indicating their rather compromising position. Tara seemed to understand, and slowly began to move away from her human cushion, although Willow could see that there was reluctance in her eyes. They both stood looking at each other for a second, before Willow moved over to sit on the edge of her bed. Tara
moved to join her.
"But there is good news," Willow added quietly, unable to tear her eyes away from the blonde Wicca.
"Hmmmm?" Tara replied, with a dreamy look.
"It looks like our camping mattress got, ahem, lost, so..." Willow just looked down at the bed that they were sitting on. Tara caught on to what she meant, and began to smile.
"I'm glad," was all she said, as they sat there, not quite out of the dreamy haze that had enveloped them. Willow reached out and took Tara's hand, not able to do more as they waited for Buffy's return. Her mind was once again calmed by Tara's gentle presence.
***********************************
Tara sat there, stunned and happy. She still hadn't completely registered everything that had happened in the last ten or twenty minutes, but she was completely content sitting there, feeling the warm contact with Willow through their clasped hands. OK, so not completely content, she reminded herself. There are other things that I would like to do... She blushed at the thoughts that her normally quite well-behaved mind was having, and looked over at Willow, who also had a small, content smile on her lips... Mmmmmm, her lips, they were so close... she thought to herself, remembering their close encounter, and all the pleasant thoughts that accompanied that...
Yet, despite everything that had happened, she was still unsure about what Willow felt for her. Maybe it was just a one time "in the heat of the moment" thing, she thought to herself. I hope not... She could feel her insecurities surfacing, but pushed them back down, not wanting to ruin what she had right at that moment. If Willow doesn't... if she doesn't... want... me, her mind shuddered at the thought, although she still considered it a large possibility, Well, if she doesn't, she forced herself to continue, then I should just enjoy what we have right now...
But now that she'd brought up the subject, she couldn't seem to get her mind off of it. Why would she want me? She's so perfect. She's smart, and confident, and beautiful... What have I got to offer her? I'm so clumsy, and I'm always getting myself in trouble... I can never help, I just cause more problems... Isn't that why I'm here right now? Because I couldn't take care of myself? She sighed at the thought, and looked down, feeling tears build up in her eyes.
Willow apparently noticed the change in Tara's attitude, and looked over with concern. "Tara? Baby, what's wrong? Were you thinking about that vampire?" She took Tara's face in her hands again, and leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. "I'm here. Nothing is going to hurt you. I'm here."
With just that one look, one touch, all of Tara's insecurities seemed to fall away, and she couldn't think about anything else but the face so close to hers. She felt a tear roll down her cheek and she laughed a little, looking shyly back up at Willow. Willow wiped the tear away, and gently brought Tara's head down into her lap, stroking her hair.
Tara looked up at Willow from her position, cradled on the red-head's thighs, and felt a warm sense of contentment rise in her. She closed her eyes and smiled, not even caring if Buffy came back at that very moment. Soon, she felt her consciousness slipping away, feeling only Willow's fingers as they gently ran through her hair.
************************************
Willow looked down at Tara as she fell off into sleep. She smiled, seeing the peaceful look on her face as she snuggled down into Willow's lap. But, thinking back on a few minutes ago, she frowned. What had upset her so? The only thing that she could think of was the vampire, and she felt a hot stream of anger rush through her. She couldn't stand the thought of Tara being hurt, and it seemed to be happening a lot lately. Well, OK, only twice. But twice is two times two many! And I wasn't there either time to help...
Willow's anger turned to herself, for not being there when Tara needed her. She should have walked her back to her room, and then she would have been there to protect her from the Jonathan monster... Logically, her mind told her that this time, there was nothing she could have done to help; she didn't even know that Tara was outside instead of safe at her dorm. But that didn't keep her from being angry with herself. If it weren't for Buffy, Tara could be dead right now... she shuddered, and tried to think about something else. Come to think of it, why was she outside after dark?
Come on, Willow, she chided herself as her logical mind kicked in, You should be looking out for her right now, when you can actually do something about it, rather than kicking yourself for things you can't change. With that, Willow began to study Tara for visible wounds that she could treat. She realized that her long-sleeved pajamas probably covered up almost anything, and she still didn't feel comfortable trying to take a look under them. Willow sighed as resigned herself to wait until the next morning when Tara woke up, so she could ask her where she had been hurt.
Buffy took that opportunity to walk back in the room, wearing her "Yummy sushi" pajamas with still-wet hair. "Hey Will," she offered as she walked in.
"Shhhhh." Willow gestured at Tara, sleeping soundly, still on her lap. "I see that there's one person who is not concerned about the water shortage in California," Willow teased her friend in a quiet voice, trying not to wake Tara. "That was an awful long shower, there, missy."
Buffy glanced at the blonde Wicca asleep in her friend's lap with a look of mild surprise, but shrugged it off and smiled at Willow's joke. "Yeah, well most people in California don't have to clean entire ashtrays out of their hair every night." She moved over towards her bed and sat down. "She OK?" Gesturing to Tara.
"She'll be fine, she just needs some sleep."
"Looks like she's getting it," Buffy replied, as Willow looked down at Tara's head in her lap and began to blush. In a more serious tone, Buffy added, "Why don't we all just get into bed. It's been a tough night."
Willow nodded, and cradled Tara's head as she moved out from under her. She put the blonde head back down on the mattress, then went to roll back the covers on the other side of the bed. She managed to pick up Tara, somewhat awkwardly, and move her over to that side of the bed. She looked down at the prone form. She's so beautiful... she thought to herself. But she quickly stopped her staring, remembering Buffy's presence, and gently pulled the covers up over Tara. She went to the switch and turned the lights off, even managing to make it back to her bed without bumping into anything. She looked over at Buffy. "Night, Buffy." "Night, Will," Buffy replied as she turned over and lay on her side, faced away from Willow's bed. Willow eased herself under the covers, careful not to disturb Tara in her slumber. Then she looked over at Buffy, making sure that she was still faced the other way, and placed a soft kiss on Tara's cheek.
"Goodnight Tara," she whispered, and then followed the blonde Wicca into sleep and a night full of pleasant dreams.
My Fire (part 4):
Tara opened her eyes slowly, trying to remember where she was. It was dark out, and she was in a bed. Not her bed. And she wasn't alone. She turned over, trying to let her eyes adjust to the dark. And there she was.
Willow, Tara thought, allowing herself to bring up all of the nice sensations that came with that name. Tara began to remember where she was, and why. Those annoying wanna- blessed-bes. Vampire, then Buffy. Then Willow... Willow's bed. Willow's face inches away. Just asking me to touch... Tara instinctively reached out, but stopped short of her destination.
I can't do this. Not while she's asleep... What if she wakes up and is disgusted? What if she wants me to leave... She sighed and looked down at the bed between them. The best thing would be to just go back to sleep.
Tara looked up at the ceiling, trying to calm her mind enough to drift back into slumber. But she couldn't. Willow's presence at her side, so close, just wouldn't allow her mind to think of anything else. Inevitably, Tara turned back over to face Willow. Watching her sleep so peacefully, Tara once again found herself reaching out. I shouldn't do this...
She looked over at Buffy and made sure that she was still sleeping and facing the other way. Then she cautiously moved her hand over towards Willow. Her fingers began to run through the red hair that was splayed out on the pillow, feeling the silky texture and toying with the few places where she found a knot.
Soon, her fingers began working their way from the pillow towards Willow's cheek. I really should not be doing this... she reminded herself. She continued to disregard her reminder, as she let her fingers gently trace across the soft skin of Willow's face. She started at her cheek, gently stroking up and down with a feather-light touch. She then began to trace over Willow's temple, to her forehead, back down to her other cheek. Willow let out a gentle sigh.
Tara paused to review the bridge of Willow's nose, then tickle the tip of her nose, eliciting a half-smile and a little giggle from the still-sleeping redhead. Tara smiled back, and continued making trails with her touch. She moved on from Willow's nose downward, tracing little circles around her chin. Willow let out the smallest of moans, parting her lips just slightly. Tara finally worked up the courage to move her fingers towards Willow's lips. Using just the very tip of her finger, she brushed along the outline of Willow's mouth, pausing at the cute little ridge at the top.
"Tar..." Willow barely whispered, hardly loud enough for Tara to hear her. But Tara did hear, and looked at Willow in fascination. Could she actually feel something... at least a little... for me?
Tara tore her eyes away from Willow's face and looked down at the bed. It's impossible. She wouldn't... she couldn't... feel... this. I'm probably just imagining it. A little too much wishful thinking. Tara sighed, lost once again in her own inner dialogue of insecurities. But meanwhile, her forgotten hand had come to a rest, cupping Willow's cheek.
When Tara looked back up, she was greeted by a pair of half- open Willow-eyes, blinking dreamily her way.
"Willow?" Tara was transfixed, staring at the almost-awake redhead. Then she looked at her hand in horror, just realizing that it was still resting on Willow's cheek. "I'm s-s-sorry," she whispered, and moved to pull it away.
Willow merely returned, "shhhhhh." She covered Tara's hand with one of her own and came closer, moving her hand to rest in the small of Tara's back. She she continued to draw herself slowly closer to the blonde, the inches between them evaporating. Tara's mind refused to function as Willow snuggled up against her, nuzzling her neck. "So... nice..." Tara heard her murmur.
Tara's heart was racing and her brain was definitely not providing any help. But as Willow's hand moved gently up and down along her back, she began to relax. She savored the skin-on-skin contact as Willow reached her hand up the back of Tara's pajamas to continue rubbing all the way up to the base of her neck.
Tara let out a short sigh and then completely collapsed against Willow, enjoying the undefinable smell of her. Soon, Willow's rubbing slowed, and they both drifted off once again into slumber.
********************************************
Morning bad! Buffy groaned as she slowly opened her eyes. She wanted to stay in bed, but she knew that she only had a couple of minutes to get up and get ready for her class. She lay there for a few seconds, staring upwards, before she reluctantly moved out from under the warmth of the covers. She rubbed her eyes and put her feet on the floor, wishing that she had only signed up for classes that met in the afternoon. She stood up and yawned, stretching her body out.
Then she looked over at Willow's bed, and froze in place, mid-yawn. Willow and Tara were so intertwined that they looked like a tangled jumble of body parts. Willow was wrapped around Tara, her head resting on Tara's collarbone, her leg over Tara's thigh, and her arm reaching around Tara's back. More like up her shirt... Tara had a hand on the back of Willow's head, pulling her closer, and one of her legs between Willow's.
Buffy noticed Willow's hand slowly moving up and down Tara's back. Tara let out a low moan and started to move her hand down from the back of Willow's head to her neck, mirroring Willow's rubbing. Buffy let out a squeak and ran out of the room as fast as she could. She shut the door behind her and then leaned against it, her mind racing.
What did I just see? she questioned herself. Did that mean anything? I mean, why would Willow want to... But she's not awake yet, at least I don't think she is... She doesn't know what she's doing. She probably thinks its Oz... Buffy kept trying to rationalize what she saw. Yeah, that's it, she's probably just lonely. You put anyone in her bed and she'll react like that...
She tried to convince herself of that explanation, but her mind kept poking holes in the logic. But she didn't do anything like that when she had to share a bed with me and Anya... she actually almost fell of the bed because she was trying not to bump into Anya... That left her with only one conclusion. Come on, Buffy, its right in front of your face. She's doing that because its Tara in her bed, not because she thinks its Oz or because she's just really lonely. But she still couldn't accept it. No! Willow wouldn't... she's not like that. Oz, remember? Even back to Xander in high school. She's not like that. She's not like that. Buffy kept repeating herself, but she still couldn't put her mind to rest. She would have told me! It doesn't mean anything. If it meant something she would have told me. Buffy sighed and walked towards the bathroom. I should just forget this ever happened. If I pretend I never saw, in a week or so I'll probably just think I dreamt it. And that was good enough for her.
**************************************
Willow felt a ray of sunlight laying a line of warmth across her face. She smiled and yawned, then realized that the sun was not the only thing that was keeping her warm. She moved her hand, only to find that it was already moving of its own volition. Moving across skin. Across someone else's skin. That someone else also had a hand, which was moving along the back of her neck. Willow opened her eyes.
Tara... her heart skipped a beat when she realized that it was Tara who she was holding so close. Then she looked down at their intertwined bodies and blushed bright red. Her head was on Tara's chest. Her hand was up the back of Tara's shirt. Her leg was flung over Tara's thighs. Tara's leg was between her own... Oh my god, oh my god...
Willow couldn't think as Tara started moving her leg, rubbing between Willow's thighs. Willow was definitely enjoying the sensation. But as much as she was having a good time, she didn't want Tara to do it if she would be uncomfortable later. Tara should be able to make a conscious decision. And as far as she could tell, Tara was still asleep. "Tara..." she called out softly.
"Tara..." she said again. Tara's eyelids fluttered a little bit, then opened. Willow moved her head back a little so that Tara could see her. "Morning sleepyhead," she said with a smile. "Or afternoon. I'm not really sure."
"Huh?" Tara blinked and squinted her eyes. Willow saw Tara's eyes begin to focus and look back at her. "Willow?" Tara said, this time with a small smile.
"That's me," Willow said, smiling goofily in return. Then she remembered why she had woken up the blonde Wicca in the first place. "Ummmmm, Tara?"
"Mmmmmm hmmmmm?" Tara replied in a throaty voice, still staring dreamily at her.
Willow just smiled back spacily for a second before her mind started functioning again. "Tara?"
"Yeee-esss" Tara drew the word out slowly.
Willow merely looked down, gesturing at their quite compromising position. The motion of Tara's leg and hand stopped, and when Willow looked back up, Tara had gone bright red and looked scared. "Willow, I'm s-s-so s-s-sorry. I didn't mean... I wasn't..."
"Tara, it's OK. Really, I don't mind." You have no idea how much I definitely do not mind.
Tara gazed back up at her, still with a somewhat scared look. But she hadn't removed her leg or her hand, That's good, Willow thought to herself.
"You don't want me to leave?" Tara whispered, looking down.
"I don't want you to move a muscle," Willow returned with a smile. Unless it's to keep rubbing... God, I'm such a perv... Oh well, watcha gonna do. Tara smiled back, but she was still blushing madly. "Do you mind if I..." this time it was Willow's turn to look embarrased, "do this?" Willow leaned her head back down against Tara's chest, and began rubbing her back again. Tara moaned a little bit. "I'll take that as a no," Willow chuckled.
"Definitely a no," Tara whispered in her ear, sending chills up and down Willow's spine. Tara began rubbing her neck again, and Willow sighed. They continued like that, in perfect bliss, for perhaps half an hour before Tara spoke again.
"Willow?" she said quietly.
"Mmmmm hmmmm," Willow returned.
"Where's Buffy?"
The mood was broken, as Willow's eyes widened. "She had a morning class... She must have seen us..."
Tara finished for her, "Like this..."
Willow's mind was frantic, running around itself. If she saw us, then she'll think... But shouldn't she think that? It's true, isn't it?... I don't want her to find out like this... Anyway, I'm not sure myself... am I? Oh god.
"What should we do?" Tara asked after a couple of seconds.
"What can we do?" Willow sighed. "But we should probably get up anyway and get something to eat."
"Yeah, I guess," Tara returned. But neither of them made any move to get up. Eventually, Tara spoke again, "Do you have a class today?"
"Not 'till like 4:30. Do you have one?"
"No, cancelled."
"Oh. Do you think we should get up?" With Willow's remark, they both looked at each other and sighed. Willow reluctantly sat up and swung her feet over the side of the bed. She looked at the clock. Geez! It's 2:30 in the afternoon! "Hey Tara?"
"Yeah?"
"We should hurry if we want to make it to the cafeteria for lunch."
"Lunch?"
"Yeah." Willow looked back over at Tara. God, she looks beautiful in the morning, er, afternoon... Snap out of it Rosenberg! You've been cuddling with her for twelve hours! You going for a record? Willow smiled at that. I wouldn't mind trying...
"Willow?" Tara's voice brought her out of her thoughts.
"Yeah?"
"Shouldn't we get going?"
"Yeah." Willow sighed and got up. She went to her drawer, picking out an outfit for herself and a bigger one for Tara. "Would you mind wearing sweatpants for a bit until you can go back to your dorm? I guess they're not exactly the most stylish..."
"They're yours?" Tara replied.
"Yeah."
"Then they're perfect."
My Fire (part 5)
Willow sat in Chem class, trying her hardest to pay attention. But it wasn't working very well. Her mind kept going back to a certain blonde Wicca and the time that they had spent together that morning. It didn't help that Tara had invited her to come back over to her room after class.
Maybe, with no interruption from Buffy, we could... we could... There were a million things that Willow could think of that she wanted to do, but she was unsure about whether Tara would want to also. I should just take it slow. See what's she's comfortable with...that is, if she even wants to do anything at all. Willow frowned at the thought that Tara might not be looking forward to their afternoon together for the same reasons she was.
After all, she did invite me over for a spell, not to cuddle. I guess I'll just have to let her make the decisions. Willow sighed and started to fiddle with her pencil, tapping it back and forth. She hated the idea of not making steps ahead in her relationship with Tara. But what if I'm just fooling myself, and Tara doesn't think of me like that? But what if she does, and she's just too scared to do anything about it, like me? Dammit! This is so frustrating!
Willow was startled out of her thoughts as a beaker shattered, sending glass flying in all directions. She looked up to see everyone in her class looking at her strangely. Then she realized that it had been her beaker that had shattered, and the pencil that she had been playing with kept on tapping, even though she had let go. Oh man, this is not good. Not good. Bad. Very bad.
Willow smiled nervously at the class and her teacher, then reached over and grabbed the pencil, stopping its motion. "Oh, there goes my, uh..." Think, think! "there goes my magnetic pencil again. Yeah that's it... just trying an experiments with magnets... you know me, never enough experimentation, a regular science-girl..." Willow laughed awkwardly. That was possibly the worst lying ever.
That seemed good enough for everyone else, and they all turned around, done with the excitement for the day and ready to be bored into submission by the rest of the professor's lecture. Willow just sat there, thinking of Tara, waiting for the bell to ring.
Five minutes later, Willow heard the bell, and jumped up out of her seat, for once not caring that the professor usually continued giving assignments even as the students were leaving the room. Wow, I'm missing assignments to go see Tara; it must be love.
Willow caught herself in mid-stride as she realized what she had thought. Love? Is it? Well, I just said, er, thought it, didn't I? Do I even know? Can Tara tell? Am I making a complete fool out of myself? Oh god, what am I gonna do with myself...
Then she realized that one thing that she could do with herself was to quit dawdling and get on over to Tara's, so she picked herself out of her thoughts and picked up her feet at a much faster rate.
She finally arrived at Tara's door, and paused for a second to collect her thoughts and fix her hair before knocking. She waited there, shuffling her feet anxiously, wondering what Tara had planned for them.
After what seemed like an hour, Tara came to the door. She had changed out of Willow's sweatpants, but was still wearing her shirt. "Hi Willow," was all she said, but as she smiled, Willow's heart skipped a beat.
"Hi," was all Willow returned. Tara motioned for her to come in, and Willow followed her to sit down on the floor, by the bed. "So, what's up?" Willow questioned.
"I've got this spell that I wanted to try with you. It's kind of like the one that we did last week..." Tara began.
"Oh, the Fiat Lux one, right? With the little light? I liked that one. It was cool. I mean, not cool literally, because light is probably pretty hot. I mean, if it even has a temperature. Does light have a temperature? I think that's something I should know.... I'm babbling aren't I." Willow smiled awkwardly. Sometimes she just got so excited, she couldn't seem to make coherent statements. "Sorry. I hate it when I babble."
"I think it's cute." Tara blushed and looked down after her statement, and Willow just stared at her, speechless and thoughtless for a couple seconds. Then she realized that she was staring, and looked down abruptly at her fidgeting hands.
Willow finally broke the silence. "So, ummm, what's this spell again?"
"Oh, yeah, right. Right. The spell. It's, ummmm, it's a fire spell. You know. Like that little ball of light, now it's a little ball of fire. I think it's a little harder. And we have to remain in perfect balance or we could really do some damage." Then she hastily added, "but we don't have to if you don't want to. I mean... it's up to you. I'll do anything you want to."
Willow thought about that for a second. Does she really want to do anything I want? I don't think she knows exactly how much that entails... Come on, get your mind back on track, here! She's talking about a spell, not... you know... snuggles. Although I wonder if she's thought..... ARRGGGHH! Never mind. Stay on track. Spells. She's talking about spells. "Right, so... spells! Yeah, that sounds like a fun spell."
Tara smiled at Willow's approval, and Willow smiled back. I wonder if she knows how addicting her smile is... Willow watched as Tara got up and gathered a couple of ingredients and brought them back down to the carpet. She moves so gracefully... it's like a ballet. Except those ballet dancers are way too skinny. They haven't got anything on Tara. I mean, why would you go with skin and bones when you've got... well, you know... boobies. Ack! I sound like Xander!!! What's become of me! At that moment Willow looked up to see Tara eyeing her strangely.
"Whatcha thinking about?" Tara asked.
"Oh, nothing. Nothing, really. Did I say nothing, because I think that's what I meant. Unless I meant spells. Yeah, I was thinking about spells." That's it. I am officially the worst liar ever in the history of mankind. Not a single person on earth can hold a candle to my skill at complete inability to tell a coherent lie.
"OK," Tara said, still looking at Willow a little questioningly. "Anyway, look here. We mix these with some of those roots..." Willow was watching Tara mix the different ingredients, although soon she became more focused on Tara's hands than what they were mixing. She has such perfect hands. Just the way that they move, so slowly and carefully. And they're so milky-looking...
"Willow?" Tara's voice once again brought Willow back from her silent reverie. "You got all that?"
"Oh yeah, right. Uh huh. Everything." Willow replied, looking nervous, as she tended to do when lying.
"Ooookaaay. Well, take my hands. I'll say the incantation, and you focus on the flame." Tara reached out her hands, and Willow took them, feeling their softness and the heat of Tara's palms pressing against her own. Focus might definitely be an issue here... come on, I've done spells like this a million times. I just have to concentrate... Willow snapped herself out of her thoughts for the millionth time that day, and forced herself to focus while Tara performed the incantation.
Soon, she saw a little spark spring up between them, then grow to about the size of a golf ball. "Neat!" Willow said excitedly.
"Yeah," Tara returned with a smile. "I just have to go turn off the lights now."
"Lights? Off? " Willow replied, suddenly liking this spell even more.
"Yeah, you know, silly. To see the fire better. It looks way cooler with the lights off." Tara got up and moved to the light switch while Willow kept the flame floating. Tara flipped the switch, and the room was plunged into darkness. Willow was mesmerized by the tiny dancing flame and the multi-colored sparks that were jumping off of it at random intervals. She heard Tara making her way cautiously back over to where she had been sitting, so as not to bump into anything. But, of course, the more that Tara tried not to stumble, the more she did. Willow heard a dull thump and guessed that Tara's foot had hit the bed.
"Tar..." Before Willow could even finish her name, she felt the blonde Wicca fall with a thud right into her lap.
All Willow could see was her beatiful face, glowing in the light of the still-burning flame. In the light, Willow could see the amber tones in her skin and the dancing gold flecks of color in her eyes. Tara looked back up at Willow, and the redhead thought that her heart would explode. The flickering of the fire was casting shadows and patterns across Tara's face, and Willow felt herself reaching out to touch the smooth skin.
Willow rested her hand on Tara's cheek, and slowly rubbed her thumb up and down, feeling the soft, downy hairs and cool skin under her touch. Willow let her rational mind go as she looked down into Tara's eyes, seeing so much love and desire there that she felt a tear roll down her cheek. That look is for me...
Tara reached out and wiped the tear away, then moved her hand to Willow's neck. Willow cradled Tara in her arms. They stayed there, eyes locked, for what seemed like an eternity. In Tara's eyes, Willow could see her forever, her always. She knew with some strange confidence that this was right. This was perfect.
Willow wasn't sure who started it, but soon both of their heads were drawing closer together. Slowly they each reached out for the other, closing the space between them one inch at a time. Their eyes remained locked until they drew too close. Willow closed her eyes, relying on Tara's hand on her neck guiding her, showing her the way.
Then, in an instant, Willow felt her heart soar out of her body as she felt the slightest contact with Tara's lips. The first contact lasted only a second, a gentle brushing of flesh. That was not enough for either of them. The second time, they met with more force, more desire. Willow couldn't think, couldn't act, couldn't breath. All she could do was let her instincts take over, as she felt the exhilerating rush of the kiss. Now she felt Tara pulling her in, drawing her closer. Willow lay Tara gently down on the floor and hovered over her, never breaking contact.
Tara curled her arm around Willow's torso, pulling her down on top of her. Willow felt the contact through the entire length of their bodies, sending shocks up and down her spine. Willow relaxed her body down onto Tara's, rubbing her hands up and down Tara's sides as she paused a second for breath. Then she re- initiated the kiss, this time deepening it, exploring the sweetness of Tara's mouth. Her perfect, smooth teeth. The slick inside of her cheeks. The rougher roof of her mouth. Her tongue, darting back and forth, making explorations of its own. Everything was perfect. Everything deserved attention. Attention that Willow was more than happy to give.
Tara let out a low moan into Willow's mouth and continued to explore with her tongue. Willow marveled at the smoothness of Tara's chin, providing no friction as it rubbed against her own. Out of the corner of her eye, Willow saw that flame had grown, and was now the size of a basketball. But her mind quickly forgot about the spell again, as Tara moved both her hands to Willow's upper back, pulling her downwards with an urgency that spoke to Willow in some deep corner of her soul. Willow inhaled through her nose, not wanting to break contact, and was intoxicated by the smell of Tara. So close, surrounding her. She was lost in Tara's smell, in her eyes, in her mouth. Willow felt tears on Tara's cheeks and gently wiped them away. She let her fingers get tangled in Tara's hair, stroking the skin of her scalp with slow, broad strokes.
