The Amazing Kitten Race

[watty]

Sorry, not an update. I do want to get replies out cos it's been a while, plus may be it'll help me in the writing process *shrug*. A couple of you probably heard about my current lean writing spell. It's slowly getting fatter, so to speak, but it's taking its sweet time, and while it would only take a day or two previously to write a section (may be 1,000-1,500 words) I'm struggling to get 300 a day. Sigh, c'est la vie, I won't give up.

So, like I said, replies.

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it does seem like I'm I'm reading a recap of an actual program

Wow, justin, that is the ultimate compliment. Thank you . The Race certainly has been the catalyst for and , to explore their relationship and bring them closer. But the same stressful situation is affecting the other couples too, none more so, like you said, Buffy & Riley. As the Race gets more tense and towards the end, the tension can only increase.

LOL about Faith fan clubs. I'm positive she has many many fans who will get together for viewing parties. In my mind, everyone at hers and Robin's gym and his restaurant will ogle at her whenever she's onscreen, and she'd be getting feelers for magazine covers once the Race finishes.

Thanks for reading!

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I like tasks that allow Willow and Tara, and the other racers, to use their brains.

Me too, too often we get "go there using this type of transportation and find this person" clues. It's harder to come up with and plan the brainy tasks, so thanks for liking them.

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May be, hmmm? [*stop being sarcastic, no one understood the joke.*]

would it be bad if I said that I actually didn't understand the joke at all?

Ah, the joke was that in the US, having a buddha in a temple is unique enough to attract visitors, but in Thailand they have to be a bit special ... actually it's just a deliberately bad joke

Alluding to Buffy in a fake article about a Buffy fanfic?

glad you spotted it!

Buffy is the chosen one. "I'm going to be the slayer on this task," she says.

Hehe. I simply know that you have been waiting to put this line in here since the first episode.

how I can write a whole fic without using that? It was just waiting to be used!

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I was like gee, if I wrote TAR, they would have to go to like the Bob Marley festival in South Austin or the Domino factory in Waco

May be you can do a race around Texas? lol.

Debra guessed the equator!

So you did! Yay! You know, several roads cross the equator, and every one has a souvenir shop and huge sign where tourists go to get suckered into buying something completely useless.

The correct question is “What is the first arrival time in Bangkok?”

You're soooo right! I think Miss Alli had the same comment, or was it on the TWoP forums, about how racers don't ask the right question. I think it's a question that is so natural to ask, but is the wrong one.

I hear ya about religious tasks, they do seem to go through a lot of those, and always in a perfunctory and at times not so respectful manner. The only one I remember is Kris & Jon and how devoted they were in ... India I think. Of course not forgetting Uchenna & Joyce shaving their hair. The coin clinking task at the Bangkok buddha was lifted from a TAR1 Fast Forward (back when they had more FFs during the Race), when 2 teams were competing for the same FF at the same time. I love TAR1, so that task has been stuck in my mind since. It's more of a chance than skill, but you gotta have some randomness in the race .

Is it my imagination or do the yields always occur on non-elims?

So far we had 2 Yields -- Legs 5 and 8, and 2 Non-Elims -- Legs 4 and 8. So yes, the last Yield and Non-Elim were on the same leg, but not the first ones. We have one each left of Yield, Non-Elim and FF.

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Poor Willow with the KF - but it's pleasing to see Tara confident enough in their relationship that she can take a stand and snap her girl out of her doldrums when she needs to, and Willow able to accept it without getting huffy.

I did wonder about that, cos their intimate relationship is fairly new, but they haven't been together 24/7 before coming on the Race. With so much racing and the need to cover other racers, I haven't had time for much character / relationship development, which is unusual for a fic. I'm glad so many people are still reading .

Re: bunching. If you have a good team (eg Colin & Christie in TAR5) who knows how to work the airport, they will be able to get far ahead. Back in TAR1, the Guidos were more than one day behind the 2 front running teams. The producers have to force bunching, cos they can't run the production in multiple locations (there's only one Phil for example).

Glad you liked the texting task. SMSing is BIG in Asia, I think a Singaporean bloke made an attempt at some SMS world record.

Named a star system after you, sure Willow - in the constellation Coitus no doubt

glad you caught that! I have no doubt they were naming their own star systems, but probably not the ones in the sky .

Re: Extra. I really like the glimpse into the popularity of the Lovebirds to their audience, it's heartwarming. If this were real I would so be at that club's Race nights, every episode.

Thanks . I think that if this were RL, the entire Kittenboard will be there to watch, and those of us not in the US will hook up via dedicated satellite connections .

what if the final episode of the Kitten Race went out 'live'? Like, post it paragraph by paragraph in a chat room, at a predetermined time so everyone could be there waiting, and all read it together?

Harder to do, considering the time differences. Plus boy, it gets boisterious in Chat. I want to come up with something Grand though, thanks for the idea.

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the constellation naming was ultracute, and so easy to picture that whole situation

Ah but did they really name a constellation or was it a cover for the sex ?

my favorite thing this time around was the god of wishful thinking splashing around in his bathtub. due to the setting, i picture him much like a smiling buddah, with a tub full of mr.bubble, just waiting for another mortal moron to tempt him.

I totally love reading your fb, cos you notce the smallest, cutest thing !
"god in the bathtub" is standard TWoP terminology, but I love the twist of him being a fat buddha in bubble bath .

bonus pt.'s for working in an uma thruman mention, cause, well, yum

You noticed, wow . I've always thought she's real cool, except she's too ... tall.

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I definitely appreciated the parallels with the "article" and how people feel about BtVS W/T.

Thank you so very much! I'm not a journalist, so writing the article was a little intimidating, but I had a good subject! I'm glad you liked .

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I really liked the magazine write up as the extra. I wondered what you would do for this one. I am also wondering what all Willow's journal says at this point

probably lots of hearts with Tara's name lol. Or different things they did together classified in different colored pens. Or "we did lots, but I need to keep this journal PG-13"

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I loved the title of the episode, and the way you incorporated "Buffy is the chosen one"

Of course, I must include this phrase in the fic somewhere! It's BtVS afterall!

Re: Bunching. See my earlier comments to Chris. If it were RL traveling, they wouldn't be pitstops, and you're right, some of the physical teams will get further ahead than others. Some teams are very good at working the airport and they'll get earlier flights than others. So there will be possibilties that some teams may be days in front of others.

As for Riley, he has no excuse. I must confess I'm bringing out the bad qualities in him, but he strikes me as the type who will go abroad and can't integrate with the local culture, or get stressed out when he's out of control of a situation.

As always, you have my sincere thanks for your support !

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I have to thank Debra for recommending it to me

You have to thank Debra for the idea of me writing this in the first place! If it weren't for her Survivor fic, there'd never be this one.

I don't know TAR but it sounds like a lot of fun to watch

It can get a little complicated and involved. There's a little FAQ before the first part (first post) that you might find useful. I love the show, all the different locations, seeing how the racers cope, it's riveting tv.

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'feedback roll'

Me too! But alas no update yet, sorry :(. Honeymoon trip? I think that since they can't take it till after the Race, it does serve as their honeymoon trip.

Re: Sequesterville. Before I started, I tossed for the final 3/4 teams running towards the finish line. And I wasn't worried about where W/T will end up, cos I knew I can have them in Sequesterville and even write MORE about them than having to concentrate on the race. Well, we've got 6 teams left, and we don't know who will be eliminated next ...

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The TWoP-like style is hilarious!

Wow! Trom fb! Thanks for the thumbs up. I always follow an ep of TAR with reading the recap from TWoP, I think it increases my appreciation of the race, and the recapper's humor. LOL about not having a TV and following AI in TWoP, I daresay "watching" on TWoP is probably even better than the real thing.

There's always a bad guy

Oh absolutely! The Editors on TAR are very good at taking real footage and people talking and painting a "story" for each of the racers. Thanks for reading.

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[blue eyed girl]

This was another great update. I was all excited at the end there with the prospect of Riley and Buffy being eliminated but unfortunately this was another non-elimination leg. Riley wasn't my favorite character on the show but I didn't hate him either but I sure don't like him in this fic. He sure was rude in this update with yelling at the local and then at Buffy for not picking the right bowl.

Poor Willow being so tired this leg of the race. I can't imagine how tiring that trip would be with the physical tasks and all of the jet leg from traveling to so many different parts of the world. But if the text messaging didn't perk her up I am sure that coming in first and winning a nice vacation sure will.

This was another good update and I look forward to reading more. Looking forward to the next one.

[watty]

A late entry, but then again, no feedback is ever late .

blue eyed girl - Hi! Thanks for reading. Buffy and Riley have become the villains of the Race, I may be a tad unfair to them. Then again I can see Riley getting all worked up and rude if he is put under this sort of pressure. It is getting tiring for all the racers, they have been traveling like this for womething like 2-3 weeks now and it can get very exhausting. Killer Fatigue sure will affect some more than others.

*****

Onto the update. Folks, sorry about the delay. Writer's block, business trip and bronchitis have all crept up and whacked me one during the last 4 weeks. I feel like I'm sort of back on a roll again *fingers crossed*.

I'm able to post this update because some people are going on vacation and want to be entertained before they leave. So I gave myself a deadline. I don't know why I'm being so nice cos they are not giving us an update before they leave, are they ?

Important Notice: the AMAZING Chris Cook has made an Absolutely Fabulous Kitten Race Wallpaper. It's so fabulous I can't stop ogling it, it even has the right TAR color scheme. Download it NOW. Thanks Chris !

*****


Title: The Amazing Kitten Race
Author: watson (hiddenwatson@yahoo.com)
Distribution: this is for Pens, if you want to archive it elsewhere, please let me know me first
Rating: Episodes are PG-13, Recaps and Extras are R or more
Disclaimer: BtVS characters, concepts and dialog belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, The WB, UPN and others. The Amazing Race belongs to CBS, Amazing Race Productions Inc, Touchstone Television Productions Inc, Jerry Bruckheimer Productions and others.
Summary: The Amazing Race Crossover. It's a race around the world. Who will be Eliminated? Who will win $1 million?
Notes: The Roadblock is straight from TAR5, it just seems such an insanely fun activity I had to use it. One half the Detour is from TAR4.


Episode 9 - It's airport circus today

Episode recap

Singapore, with a GDP growth that outshines many western country, despite having virtually no natural resources and only one climate, was the latest leg of a race around the world.

Not a lot of Pitstop footage, just a brief eating sequence of teams slurping down some steaming noodles. The standard rhetorical question from Phil, of whether Willow & Tara, who have finished 1-2-1 in the last 3 legs, will be able to maintain that position. Or if Buffy & Riley, who have been 3-5-6 and will start the next leg with no money, will be able to reverse their slide. Phil needs to come up with some better narrative, not to mention change out of that hideous see-through white shirt he's wearing. He's hot and all, but I don't want to be seeing more spots than I already am.

Oh, and it's pissing down with rain.

9.02am. Willow & Tara rip open the clue to learn that they are to find their way to Sandakan in Malaysian Borneo and find the Rotary Observation Pavilion. They're shivering in the rain but stand aside to wait for Pirates to step up to the cluebox.

9.04am. And we have Xander & Anya. The Lovey-dovey Alliance set off together to get taxis to the airport. "We're still working with the girls, doing what we can to get each other into the final three, and then it's each team for their own. We have an understanding," Anya in a voice-over. If it ain't broke, why fix it? I think the alliance has held up surprisingly well, but I wonder if the girls, as Anya calls them, will be sufficiently ruthless in the final run-in if it comes down to a fight to the death with the Pirates. I hope that's not the end of them.

9.16am. Faith & Robin count out the money. They have $135 for this leg of the race. "If this were a marathon, this is where the Wall starts hitting. Faith and I are trained and prepared for this, we've run the perfect strategy so far, letting the others set the pace and following closely behind. We just need to start kicking at the right time," Robin voices over.

The L-D Alliance arrive at the airport and manage to squeeze onto a Malaysian Airlines 1005 flight to Kuala Lumpur, where they will connect to the flight to Sandakan via Kota Kinabalu. Hey, give me a cookie for getting these names right, will ya.

Team Efficiency arrive too late, the flight has already closed, they have to make do with a Air India 1100 flight to Kuala Lumpur, where they have a 5 minute window to catch the same Kota Kinabalu flight as the L-D Alliance. "We'll try our best, time to put our best running shoes on, baby," says Faith.

10.11am. Adam & Oz, in cute ponchos! Snerk. They drip their way into their taxi.

11.05am. Rupert & Randy, looking like they've been hit by the Wall already. Rupert, the oldest remaining Racer, is certainly feeling the strain. "Physically I'm in the best shape of my life, but I'm not as spry as I used to be, luckily my son has been supportive," he interviews. Estranged father and son my ass.

11.13am. Buffy & Riley. Blah blah blah no money cakes. Blah blah blah begging at hotel cakes. Nothing new. What annoys me is, they get a good response from their victims, cos a few people recognize them. *coughfamewhorescough* If they get asked for autographs I'm going to throw my remote at the tv. They are lucky that the non-Elim is in Singapore. Imagine if they are stuck back at the camp in Kenya, who's there to recognize you, Goldies?

"We had a lot of help in Singapore, the locals were generous," Riley interviews.

"Riley is a super-competitive person, that's why he is so successful in what he does. If he sometimes comes across as pushy, that's his competitiveness. I won't have him any other way," Buffy gushes. Oh you poor misguided fool, you think you know what you should do, you're losing your point of view.

All three teams get tickets to Kuching where they will connect to Kota Kinabalu then Sandakan. Problem is, that flight leaves at 1325, leaving a big gap between this group and the group in front.

At Kuala Lumpur, the flight to Kota Kinabalu is delayed by 15 minutes, allowing Efficiency to make it. So now the teams are split evenly into two groups of 3 teams.

Amazing Yellow Lines show the flight paths. It's disconcerting to have to fly north, then double back east, rather than straight, but that's how flying is sometimes.

4.20pm. The first group arrive at Sandakan and pile into taxis for the Rotary Observation Pavilion, a lookout point near the center of town. No problem getting the next clue. It's an early Detour, with a choice between Dive Down or Climb Up. In Dive Down, teams travel by boat to Pulau Lankayan, a tiny remote island off the coast of Sandakan and take part in one of the most popular activities in the area -- diving. In Climb Up, teams drive themselves to the Gomantong caves, home to millions of bats and swiflets, and climb up narrow bamboo ladders to reach the roof of the cave 50 feet up.

All three teams opt for Dive Down. "Narrow ladders sound dangerous," says Xander.

They get to the harbor and onto speedboats. The sea looks gray and choppy and the little boats small and frail, it's going to be a tough journey. "How far is it to Lankayan?" Faith asks. "About an hour ma'am," says the boatman. Even Robin blanches at the prospect of an hour bouncing up and down in those rickety beasts.

Xander & Anya talk about whether they should switch Detours. "It's up to you," says Xander. "I get seasick, but we knew that if we switched the remaining teams might catch up, so I decided to brave it," Anya explains. "How hard can it be?" Ooops, famous last words.

Next shot is Anya violently throwing up over the boat bobbing precariously in the rough waters. 'Nuff said.

They endure the ride and acquire a ghastly shade of seasick green upon disembarkation, especially Anya, who is helped off the speedboat by the crew. Any worries about whether she can do the dive is put to rest, as they come to the dive center and the ever taunting sign: "Hours of Opening: 8am to 5pm."

Xander & Anya are visibly relieved. "I'm not sure I can do this again tomorrow," Anya whimpers.

Faith & Robin are clearly disappointed at the delay. They ask the crew what time the diving starts. The crewman point at the sign, not needing the words to say "Dude, don't you know how to read?" Yeah, Efficiency, what's with the painfully obvious question?

"It's late afternoon and of course we understand we can't dive at this time of --;" Robin complains.

"Well actually it's just as dark underwater, shouldn't be any difference," Faith interrupts. "If only they opened half an hour more we wouldn't be stuck here overnight, the other teams are going to catch up now."

"I wonder if the other teams will take this Detour or the other one?" Willow asks as they settle down on the beach for the night. There doesn't seem to be many hotels nearby and teams opt for sleeping under the stars.

It's a beautiful sight, and the sunset is breathtaking.

Meanwhile the other 3 teams arrive at Sandakan airport. Jostling off the plane the teams, knowing they are behind, are nervous to the point of agitated. We rarely see the 'getting out of the airport' footage, but this time we see the pettiness that is the Riley-Randy cock waving contest. They're pushing and shoving at each other in the passport line, getting their baggage and even in the corridor. How pathetic.

It's even evident outside the airport, where somehow they end up in a line for minivan sized MaxiCabs. Or are they mini-buses, no one's sure. Buffy & Riley climb into the first one and load up their bags. Rupert & Randy, who are next, are asking the driver if these are buses or taxis. The driver tells them to get in, cos there is space. But Riley closes the door on the father and son. "No, we don't have room for you," he snarls and shuts out the other team.

Rupert & Randy end up sharing one with Adam & Oz. "Haven't had a lot of chances to talk with Adam and Oz, turns out we have a shared interest in music and jamming, after the race, we might get together to play. It's surprising who you meet while traveling," Randy says. It's nice and all, planning future social activities, but it's a RAAACE, people.

It seems a little bit late for these teams for develop an alliance, but a common disdain for Riley may push them together out of necessity, like one of those shotgun Las Vegas marriages. "Do you, Rupert & Randy, take Adam & Oz to be your trusty allies. Do you promise to scoff and deride the embarrassment that is Riley, for roadblocks and detours, for peace at pitstops, in first place or last. And forsaking all others, be faithful only to those whose names are not Riley, so long as y'all shall remain in the Race?"

"I can understand competitiveness, especially for a professional athlete, but his behavior has worsened as the race goes on, he doesn't talk to the other teams during the rest period, he is rude to everyone, I feel sorry for the poor girl who has to stay with him," says Rupert.

"Riley's a jerk," Oz says succinctly.

It's totally dark when they reach the Rotary Observation Pavilion and the clue for the Detour. Adam & Oz and Rupert & Randy decide immediately to go for the caves, guessing that the boat to Pulau Lankayan will not be running anymore. "The boat to the island has stopped for the night, but we can gain time by driving to the caves and be ready as soon as they open," Adam explains, with impeccable logic.

Of course Goldies aren't privy to this discussion, and they decide to do Dive Down instead. Lo and behold, when they reach the jetty the speedboats are done for the day. A frustrated America's Golden Couple trudge off to find a hotel.

*****

Sunrise, beautiful beaches, palm trees, crystal clear waters. Just the postcard you feel obligated to buy whenever you visit this type of vacation destination.

While Buffy & Riley are speeding their way towards Pulau Lankayan, the teams who spent the night on the beach are getting ready to dive for their clues. Faith & Robin are keen a sticks, Willow &Tara show a mixture of excitement and nervousness, but Xander & Anya are not looking happy.

"I thought she was feeling better but no, she hadn't recovered. But she chose to keep that information to herself. She's far too gungho for her own good," Xander complains.

"What good would that have done? We spent the whole night on the beach, and we had the task to do. It was too late to switch Detours," Anya retorts.

Faith & Robin get suited first and follow their instructor down to the water from a small dive platform. They follow a rope all the way from the surface to two small boat wrecks 50 feet down. The visibility isn't great and they have a little trouble finding the clue in the murky waters. Some fish and shrimp swim past and it's quite a sight.

After some fruitless swimming around they finally locate the clue, tied to the side of one of the wrecks. One of them -- Faith? -- gets the clue and they make their way up, hand over hand on the guide rope.

"We were really disorientated down there, took a lot of trouble to get the clue," Robin says.

Efficiency rips the clue and learn that they are to fly to Queensland, Australia and locate a lifeguard at the beach at Surfers Paradise. All they have is a Polaroid, and they have to search all the posts on a long stretch of beach for the right lifeguard. O' Yea, it's Needle in Haystack clue time.

They make their way towards their boat just as the next group -- Willow & Tara are already getting ready to dive. Faith is like an excitable teenager, "Australia, Ace, it's all surfers and beaches man. My dream vacation," she grins insanely all the way to the boat. Robin looks on with amusement at his partner's enthusiasm.

On the way back to the shore, they pass by Buffy & Riley and exchange waves. The contrast is marked. One team full of excitement, the other perfecting the look of death. "They finished quickly," murmured Riley. What economy of words, what venom. Shut. Up. Riley.

Meanwhile Lovebirds are underwater, making slow but steady progress along the guide rope. At the wreck, they stop and appear to try to gain their bearings before setting off to find the clue. They get it quicker than Faith & Robin seem to and they do a little thumbs up to each other.

They get the clue and are also happy to be going to Australia. "Funny the clue doesn't tell us which airport to fly into. Queensland's a state, right? But which city?" Willow muses.

"May be a map, or a travel agent?" Tara suggests.

"Good call," Willow smiles. My insides melt, cos, to my Lovebirds-addicted mind, anything they do is cute.

They jog by Xander & Anya, who surprisingly haven't suited up yet. Anya is looking pretty sickly, and in a discussion with the dive instructor about whether she is fit enough to dive. She insists that she is, but the instructor isn't convinced. "We have to do this task, otherwise we're stuck," Anya argues.

"But it's dangerous if you're sick. It's diving, not a walk in the park, if you get into trouble underwater, you can't get out, and that's it," Xander does a throat cutting motion that isn't helping his wife's dilemma.

Anya glares at him, "Oh great, Xander, now you don't even need to murder me in my sleep, the water will do it."

In the end the instructor puts his foot down and insists that Anya is checked out by the resort doctor. Pirates are not happy about it, but have no choice. The doctor tells Anya she can't dive. They try arguing, but he is adamant.

Now what?

Phil appears and explains that if a team can't complete a Detour, they have a choice of switching to the other task, or taking a time penalty of 4 hours from the time the next team arrives.

They're debating the merits of each option when Buffy & Riley arrive. They opt for the time penalty. "It will take an hour or more to get back onshore, then driving to the caves and finishing the task, will probably be more than 4 hours," Xander says. He sits by Anya and puts one arm round her, she looks angry at herself and shakes him off.

"It's okay," he keeps trying to console her.

"Why did we decide on this task? We should have turned back and gone to the other task before getting on the boat, why didn't you say something?" she sobbed.

Xander looks to be torn between arguing back and being supportive. He opens and closes his mouth, but decides, perhaps wisely, to keep his own counsel. He may be a pirate with only one eye, but he seems to display some understanding of his wife's tantrums.

Buffy & Riley meanwhile, are suited up and ready to go. Buffy sees Anya in distress and goes over to ask about her, Xander gives her a thin smile. Nice to know one of the Goldies have a heart. Riley, on the other hand, runs past the Pirates and frowns when Buffy fails to keep up.

They get in the water and have no trouble with the diving. Riley is a swimmer after all. Not that I'm happy about his behavior, he should be, and is good at, sports related tasks. Doesn't excuse the insistent "let's go" he is barking at the crew.

"Anya is sick and the doctor refuses to let her dive, so they're talking a time penalty," Buffy comments when they're on the boat.

"I should feel sorry for them, cos Anya's sick, but I'm glad of their time penalty, it means we're not last," Riley gloats.

"You could still have stopped and asked about her, what's the matter with you?" Buffy frowns.

"We're in a race, Buffy," he says. He shakes water out of his shoes and continues to rearrange his backpack.

"What about sportsmanship? And you claim to go to church every Sunday," she exclaims.

"I'm in a competition, I don't have time to be a goody two-shoes Christian," he retorts.

"Oh, just stop talking, Riley," she turns away in disgust.

This the sort of behavior we're encouraging from our professional athletes? I know they are in a competition, but if I win this leg with the Pirates being eliminated because of illness, I'd feel bad about winning.

*****

The Gomantong caves are about 20 miles south of Sandakan, and we catch up with the two remaining non-coupley team, make their way from their overnight perch (aka their cars) to the cave entrance.

Once there they are greeted by the sound and sight of thousands (over a million, we're told) of swiftlets and bats flying around. The walls and floor are organic. Even the normally impassive Adam & Oz are put off by the conditions.

"There were piles of bird or whatnot poop all over the ground, everywhere you step it squelched," Adam interviews with a disgusted look etched into his features.

"And roaches, don't forget the roaches," Oz deadpans. Oh lord.

Teams gingerly make their way to the bottom of the ladders where they are fitted out with helmets and harnesses. Both team members are told to climb up the ladders to the top, then make their way across a narrow horizontal platform to retrieve their clues from a hanging basket.

Randy goes first for his team, when he is about 10 feet up, Rupert follows. Oz and Adam do the same. The narrow ladders swing precariously as they climb, but there is never any danger that they will fall, because of the harness.

The younger, fitter Oz & Adam make it to the top first and inch their way across the platform, Adam having to virtually bend double to get his tall frame across. At the corner of my eye I spy some movement on the ledge, I try very hard to convince myself those are not bugs. They haul a tiny basket up from a rope and get their clue. "Not enough room to read the clue, let's go down first," says Adam, the master of logic today.

Randy, followed by Rupert, get to their platform shortly afterwards. Rupert is a little out of breath, but have no problems reaching the clue.

Back on solid ground, TallShort read the Queensland clue, they show uncharacteristic emotion as they high five each other, or rather, Oz high fives and Adam low fives. In any case, it looks like Australia is a popular destination.

R.Randy descend and get the clue also. Rupert, probably the second smartest person on the Race, latches onto the same question as Willow, about which airport they are to fly into. They decide a visit to a travel agent is the best course of action.

Back at the island, two forlorn Pirates sit all by their lonesome on the jetty. They are not talking to each other and body language indicates a huge fight just happened. Anya throws an annoyed look at Xander, "So you're giving up now?" she spits.

"We're hours behind, and you keep blaming me! Why me, Anya? Who hasn't said a single word since you were sick on the boat? Who sat up all night passing you sips of water? Who has been by your side while we got a 4-hour penalty?" Xander yells.

"Right, so it's all my fault then! Fine!" Anya throws her hands up in the air.

Xander seems deflated. It's not about the blame, Anya, it's about staying together as a team and trying not to make a bad situation worse, I can see it in his eyes, and I despair cos she can't see it.

In other news, teams are arriving in Kota Kinabalu. Efficiency and TallShort head straight for the airport, where they find out they need to travel to Brisbane. After a considerable amount of searching, they secure flights to Kuala Lumpur and connecting to Singapore. At Singapore they have a 5 hour layover before boarding a 2110 flight to Brisbane which arrives 0630 local time. "It's airport circus today," Robin jokes.

Lovebirds and R.Randy duck into travel agencies and proceed to do extensive research. R.Randy's agent comes up, amazingly, with a flight via Kuala Lumpur and Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei that arrives at Brisbane at 0305, 3 1/2 hours before the flight from Singapore. I wonder why the airport people aren't able to find this flight.

The best the Lovebirds agent can get is the same Singapore flight, okay what's up with not giving my Lovebirds the Brunei flight? The girls politely ask for access to the internet and search for timetables themselves. "I memorized a few websites that may be useful for us. We found this out of the way flight via the Kingdom of Brunei, even the agent was surprised," Willow says happily.

The Amazing Clock shows it's 12.15pm when the four teams board the domestic flight to Kuala Lumpur. Two teams will be on earlier flights, I wonder if the other two will catch on, we'll see.

Just as the plane is about to take off, Goldies arrive. I can see the steam coming off both of them from miles away. Riley raves and rants, and for once Buffy joins in. She's probably sick of him and wants to get to the Pitstop, stat. They learn the next flight to Kuala Lumpur is at 1405, but they will be able to connect to the same Singapore flight as Efficiency and TallShort.

At this rate, even the Pirates will make the Singapore flight. We seen their time penalty finally coming to an end and they get on a boat. Anya looks better. "The doctor gave me some tablets, I asked if we can do the task but he refused. Xander and I hit a bad spot, we have to rebuild some trust," she says. Sing it sister!

They arrive at Kota Kinabalu in time for a 1545 flight to Kuala Lumpur, then Singapore. Guess what? They will make the Singapore-Brisbane flight. I should be writing an Ode to Bunching now, or may be a haiku. [*no, don't even try. Please.*]

At Kuala Lumpur airport, R.Randy and Lovebirds rush off because they have very little time to connect to the Brunei flight. Efficiency and TallShort see what's going on and they follow, only to be told at the Brunei Air counter that booking has closed. I don't know who has the worst swear words but the beeping is like birds chirping in my head. Not happy bunnies there.

"It's probably too much to ask, for them to share information, I never expected sneakiness from them," says Robin. Wait. No. It's a RAAACE, Robin, what do think this is? The playpen at the kindergarten? Adam & Oz aren't complaining, at least vocally, and they're the ones with the shotgun marriage to R.Randy and all.

At Singapore they try to find better flights, but come up short. Meantime, Goldies and even Pirates arrive at Singapore, and four teams are on the direct flight to Brisbane.

*****

Brisbane, where "Australia wears a sunny smile all year", is the springboard for surf and adventure activities along the Gold Coast, boasting 40 miles of uninterrupted beaches. One of which is Surfers Paradise, home to touristy hotels, malls and where thousands of graduating high school kids converge every year. Surfers beach itself is 6 miles long.

R.Randy and Lovebirds arrive at an eerily quiet Brisbane airport at 3am. [*whaddaya expect, it's 3am.*] They aren't even running to find their cars, just ambling along.

"We managed to get a better flight and ahead of the field by using a travel agent, a few more good decisions like that and we'll be in the final three, I'm sure," Randy says.

The teams drive the 50 miles towards Gold Coast. "The lifeguards won't be on duty yet, will they?" Tara comments as she drives.

"We can take a look at the lay of the land and where the towers are," Willow says.

"That's good," Tara drives on.

"You okay with the driving?" Willow asks.

"It feels different driving on this side of the road. I'm always fighting the urge to drift to the opposite lane," Tara says as she grips the wheel a little tighter.

"Keep yourself on the outside of the road, that's the rule of thumb," Willow suggests helpfully.

It's still dark when the two vehicles arrive at the beach. The sounds of the waves can be heard even in the dark. Nope, no lifeguards on duty at that hour.

As the early morning sunlight moves across the beach, we see Rupert & Randy in their makeshift camp. Randy rolls over off the groundsheet and gets a faceful of sand. He chokes and spurts out a mouthful as he sits up.

The movement disturbs Rupert's sleep. "Assignments are due on Tuesday!" Rupert calls out as he jolts up, his eyes glazed and unfocused. I crack up. They get ready with greeting the day, boy they look rough, uh oh, we're getting towards the 'need haircut/shave/shower' stage of the Race.

Back at the airport, the remaining teams are arriving. Mad rush to the carpark and to their cars, amidst the cries of "let's go!" and "hurry up!". The sky is noticeably brighter, and the traffic heavier.

On the beach, R.Randy and Lovebirds are beginning their herculean task. Oh boy, this looks like a long task, there are dozens of lifeguard towers there, spread out over the 6 mile stretch. I mean, 6 miles! That's ... long.

The rest of the teams appear and soon there are mad rushing teams on the beach. Other beach-goers are beginning to arrive: families, surfers, even a few pretty women. Randy and Oz run into each other mid-search and share a moment, appreciating the assets of several bikini-clad beauties jogging along the beach. Wowza, these Australian babes, they're the dish, dude. Why did Baywatch move to Hawaii again?

With an earlier start Rupert & Randy locate their lifeguard first. They get the clue from him that tells them to drive to the nearby Dreamworld amusement park. They run off.

Adam & Oz find their lifeguard and clue. Lovebirds find the clue. Faith & Robin and Buffy & Riley find the clue. Hit me, it's clues clues clues. Everybody drive off.

Wait, wait! We are missing one team. I count, and yes, one team is MIA! Call the rescue. Gather the dogs, we need to search. It's Xander & Anya, who have ended up on the wrong side of the beach, they're still trying to find their lifeguard. Looks like Lady Luck is not with them today.

"I've had it, we've been walking up and down the beach and we're getting nowhere," Anya whines in frustration.

"May be it's over that side," Xander points.

"Over there! It's too far away, what do you expect me to do?" Anya gets so worked up that she sits herself down at the beach and refuses to get up. Ah, not only lack of luck, but KF catching up as well.

I have a bad feeling about this.

The first team is arriving at Dreamworld. First to greet them is the Yield, they choose not to yield any other team. The peloton arrives, and they, too, choose not to yield. Logically, one of them should have yielded Xander & Anya, because it's clear they are behind and the leg is almost finishing, to put them even further behind using the Yield will ensure they are eliminated. My trusty EEFPs tell me that there is only one Non-Elim left, and the Amazing Producers normally leave this until the last 2 legs, especially if they are taking 4 teams into the final run-in. So the chances of this leg being Non-Elim is slim to none.

The long and short of it is, no one uses the Yield.

After the Yield comes the clue. It's a Roadblock. Teams are to drive themselves 3 miles to Pimpama where the Roadblocker will try their hands at Zorbing. What is a zorb? It's a giant inflatable plastic ball, the zorbonaut (yeah, that's the term) climbs inside a small compartment and the whole contraption rolls down a steep hill with the person inside. The experience is not unlike being a hamster in a wheel, or a stray sock in a spin dryer.

R.Randy are the first to the zorb, and Randy takes the Roadblock. The People-in-Charge tell him to strip down to as little as possible because he's sharing the zorb with 40 liters of soapy water. He takes his T-shirt off and a whole school district full of teenage girls faint. He has nice flat abs, but his insane blonde helmet and sucky cheeks take the pleasure away from ogling him.

Apparently the non-Roadblocking partner can choose to lie down at the bottom of the slope and have the zorb roll over him at the end. Rupert, with a look that says "you're kidding me?" politely declines.

Randy finishes the roll, emerges like a wet towel from a wash, gives a thumbs up, and receives the clue telling them to drive to the Pitstop at the Hope Island Golf Resort.

Next up, Faith. She has a cocky grin on her face as she climbs inside, telling us that she is a nut for extreme sports. "I did the bungy jump in Switzerland, so now is her chance," says Robin. Her ride downhill is nothing special, but when she comes out, my eyes are treated to the most fantastic sight -- her hair wild and wet, her chest moving up and down with each pant, and her, um, important, um, points, doing the same thing as Farrah Fawcett's in that famous poster. Oh my god, I can hear the click of a million mouses as people do screengrabs of this angel.

No less sexy, but in a different way, the Lovebirds arrive. Using the same logic as Efficiency (ie who didn't do the last extreme sports stunt), it's Tara the Roadblocker. I can appreciate the logic, but she has done the last 3 Roadblocks, may be it should have been Willow's turn? My brain goes to pieces when she finishes and come out from the zorb in much the same condition as Faith, only her T-shirt is even thinner than Faith's. I turn into a puddle of warm melted ice cream as I realize she is even more yummy than Faith. It's screengrabbers paradise today!

Back at Surfers, Pirates get the lifeguard and the next clue. "This is the last straw," Xander grits his teeth.

Goldies. Riley takes the task. I'm interested in neither his abs nor how the water clings to his giant forearms. He finishes, yawn.

TallShort. Adam twists his bulk into the compartment. I think they choose him so he occupies so much space that there's minimal spinning. He finishes, gets the clue and they're off.

Pirates arrive at last and it's Xander with the rolling. I hear faint screams but I'm not sure if he is screaming at the ride or his wife.

*****

At the swanky Hope Island Golf Resort, Phil is suitably attired in golfing wear and waiting by the Amazing Bathmat.

It's Rupert & Randy, you're team number one. They smile. And smile even more as Phil tells them they have each won a Treo PDA phone, sponsored by palmOne. Randy is ecstatic, while Rupert appears to be wondering what a PDA phone is.

"We were able to maintain top spot throughout the leg, we're very happy. And of course happy at pole position next leg," Rupert says.

It's Faith & Robin and they're team number two. "Perfect, this is the perfect position, just over the shoulders of the pace setters, we are in great shape to kick once we enter the straight," Robin with his runner's talk again. Score-wise, they have the best score, and remain my pick for winning the Race.

The team I want to win jog up to Phil next. Welcome, Willow & Tara, you are team number three. "Nice," they smile to each other.

Buffy & Riley check in as team number four. Why are they still here again?

Adam & Oz are team number five. Oh I want them to stay in the race, they are my 'dark-horse' team and can't be this far down the field!

Finally Xander & Anya drag themselves onto the Amazing Bathmat. No Non-Elim, sorry, they're Philminated. It's a shame because they have a good alliance with Lovebirds and I want to see them prosper. "Our relationship was badly tested today, and we didn't come through for each other," Xander laments.

"It meant a lot to us, well, to me, to win this. I'm so disappointed," Anya adds.

Goodbye Pirates. Don't kill each other on the way to Sequesterville.


*****


Teaser for Episode 10

Coins are tossed in the air amidst raucous shouting.

Buffy runs after a stray coin that doesn't want to stop rolling.

Adam & Oz throwing and running. It's just like Laurel and Hardy.

And a glimpse of the sexiest outfit ever to grace the Amazing Race.


*****

Useful links & information

Malaysia:
Sabah map
Gomantong Caves
Lankayan diving

Australia:
Zorbing

*****

[watty]

Episode 9 Extra - Being One

Warning: Rating for this Extra is NC-17


They tossed and turned on the narrow double bed, the steady humming of the air-conditioning unit creating a disjointed sort of harmony with the sporadic traffic noises outside.

Soft fingers caressed soft skin on a pale freckled arm, then reached up to adjust the bunched-up sleeves on the T-shirt.

"Can't sleep, baby?" Tara asked, returning her arm to its rightful place, looped around Willow's waist.

"No. My body screams that it's tired, my brain super aware of how many hours till we have to set off again, hence the need to rest. But no, I can't sleep. Can you?"

"Not really."

Tara heard Willow sigh as they tried to ignore the sunlight creeping through the not quite thick enough curtains. She glanced at the clock: 12.53pm. They had to be at the start point in under 10 hours, her mind was checking off the Pitstop tasks that had become their routine for the last 3 weeks.

Check in with Ashley, do interview, have lunch, shower, do laundry. Yep, all done. Now if only we can catch up on some sleep.

"Want to do some planning?" Willow asked, but made no attempt to move from Tara's comfortable embrace.

"Only if we can do it in this position," Tara mumbled.

"We can do a lot in this position," Willow snickered.

"Will!"

"What?" She is all sweet innocence, but I have her number.

"You have a one track mind," Tara smiled. She traced a soft finger underneath the sleeve she was adjusting a minute ago and smiled some more at the shiver she felt running up her lover's arms.

Slowly and achingly she slipped further up underneath the cotton material until she reached the collarbone, which she slowly ran over with the back of her fingers, keeping her touches soft. I'm glad this is a loose-fit T-shirt.

Willow let out a sigh at Tara's caress and they felt the flush of desire gradually building through their connection.

Tara worked her hand down from the collarbone to the top of Willow's breasts. She drew large figure of eight spirals around both breasts, intensely aware but studiously avoiding the hardening nubs at the tip.

The sounds Willow was making were sweet and needy, her body arching and pushing back into Tara's, her hips grinding through the clothing barrier and right into Tara's core.

Tara slipped her hands out, earning a needy whimper. "Shhh, sweetie, I'm taking this off," she whispered as she rolled Willow's T-shirt off her back and over her head. Before settling back into their embrace, she quickly threw her own T-shirt and boxer shorts off to the end of the bed.

She resumed the figure of eight movement around Willow's breasts, while pressing her own into the redhead's back. They gasped, but neither was sure if it was Tara's hand on Willow's breasts, or Tara's breasts on Willow's back.

Feeling her own heat igniting, Tara tightened the circular movement on Willow's breasts, at the same time increasing the pressure. When she reached the pebbled points, she stroked, then squeezed, eliciting a sharp hiss from the suddenly still body in her arms.

"Should I stop?" she purred.

"Please don't," came the plea.

She shifted slightly so her other arm, the one previously trapped underneath Willow, was able to snake round and continue massaging Willow's breasts. Her top arm slid tantalizing down Willow's body until it reached the well worn smooth cotton of obstinate, pesky panties. These she removed without hesitation.

They were bare against each other now. Their breathing quickened but remained in sync. Tiny rolls of hips and tightening of muscles were sure signs of an impending hunger, an unending need.

Willow moaned, half-rolled and threw one leg over Tara's hips, opening herself to Tara's touch. Tara wasted no time in reaching down, brushing her palms against damp curls, and began to steadily stroke Willow's inner lips. She felt her lover's clit harden, as if crying out for much needed attention. Natural juices flowed easily over hidden crevices, intensifying the friction.

More urgent thrusting of hips demanded more, and Tara gladly obliged. One, then two fingers slid into Willow, while her palm maintained contact with the now very stiff clit. Gently at first, then more rhythmical, she guided her fingers in and out, basking in the feeling of Willow clenching around her and buried in the bliss and love radiating from both of them.

She knew Willow's body so well now, even though it had only been a few days. The memory and significance of their bonding, back in Africa, still fresh in her mind and soul. A small sign, an extra hitch in the breathing, insides that felt smoother, and she knew, deep in her heart, she knew.

I'm coming baby.

I can feel it.

When Willow arched her back and tightened her grip on Tara's hand, she could hear the chorus of Willow's release whispering, louder, clearer, till with one drawn-out, delightful scream the woman she loved climaxed with such force that they were both pulled off the mattress.

Willow turned into her and kissed her deeply. They easily fell into a tangle of arms, legs and warm melding, whispering small words of love only meant for their ears. They held each other close as they drifted into slumber.

~~~~~

When they woke their room was still bright.

Tara felt before she heard Willow's breathing change. She opened her eyes to be greeted with eager green ones that smiled at her.

"Hey," Willow said, placing a warm kiss on her lips.

"Guess we managed some sleep after all. Did you sleep well?" she asked.

Willow smirked. "Of course," she smiled. "I didn't even thank you properly before zonking out, you must think I'm some sort of guy, at least I didn't grunt and rolled over."

"You're nothing like a guy," Tara replied, allowing her fingers to run down Willow's jawline.

Willow swallowed and tried to suppress the arousal that was fast spinning out of control. "Oh Baby, what you do to me. But," she said as she flipped Tara over. "But now, it's my turn to do things to you."

Tara tried hard to stay focused. "Do we have time?" she asked, at the back of her mind she was trying to remember if she looked at the clock, but rational thought was becoming impossible when her arms are held high above her head and Willow was kissing her.

"Let me worry about the time, just relax," Willow instructed as she continued her kisses, now at Tara's neck and arms.

This is so easy.

Tara took a deep breath and felt her tension melt away with Willow's kisses. The kisses were everywhere, sometimes soft and barely felt, sometimes more insistent. Every so often, Willow would lean up and kiss her on the lips, opening her mouth and letting their tongues enjoy the sensation.

Willow was kissing her breasts now, taking care that each nipple received the attention they yearned for.

I'm lost.

Now the focus was her tummy, then her hips that she always thought too wide, and back to her breasts.

Cool hands slid around her back, pulling her up and wrapping her legs around Willow, now crouching between her legs. Kisses along the top of her thighs, smooth hands lingering at the back of the thighs, down to the knees and ankles.

What was my life before her like? I can't remember. I can't imagine.

Slowly and carefully Willow kissed all around her sex and outer lips, but resolutely not venturing deeper. She felt the grin along her sensitive skin.

Willow slid back up and kissed her again, she could faintly taste herself already.

I'm burning up all over.

The sensation of Willow's kisses on her clit was unlike anything she had imagined or felt before. Now Willow was humming into her, the vibrations and touches igniting a fire that started deep in her belly and was overwhelming every other sensation.

She knew it would be quick. She wanted to draw her climax out but she had been at the edge since she herself first teased Willow. Seemed like a million eons ago.

Willow sucked her clit and it was instantaneous.

I'm coming baby.

I can feel it.

All around her, she could only hear white pulsing light, could only see white pounding noise. She screamed. Loudly. Screams of joy and of bliss and of pleasure that knew no boundaries.

She pulled Willow back up and they met in a kiss that sealed their love. Willow turned her over and rocked her gently while softly stroking her hair.

There was still Race planning to do. They were in a new country now and chances would be the most or even all the next leg would be in Australia. Five teams were left and the competition was becoming more intense. Their staunchest allies had been eliminated. There was a lot to talk about.

Thinking further ahead, the Race was coming to an end. What were they to do afterwards? Their lives, their relationship, everything, had changed so much. There was a lot to talk about.

But at this moment, as their love enveloped them, it was not the time for talk. Talking would be later, when the reality of the outside world greeted them again. At this moment, they were just two girls, one soul, in love.


*****

[justin]

That was a great update.

Well it seems that even though Riley is professional athlete he doesn't know the meaning of the word sportsmanship. I mean hogging the taxi like that just isn't cricket.

And oh no, the Lovey Dovey Alliance has been broken up. I wonder how team pirate are going to cope with losing. Anya seems to be rather intent on playing the blame game, so it might cause problems. Though I can understand her being irritable. I mean killer fatique and sea sickness? That's got to hurt.

I'm not sure I understand Robin being so upset about the other teams being sneaky. After all they weren't in any sort of alliance and I'm sure he'd have done the same thing.

One question

It's screengrabbers paradise today!

Where can we find these screen grabs?

[Insanity]

YAY! An update!!!

I loved this update. Faith and more important TARA in a wet t-shirt.. Yummy!

Riley gets worse from leg to leg, or is it only me. I really wish they would have been philiminated and not the pirates.
I really hope Buffy kicks Roleys ass before the are kicked out....

And the extra was Wow!!!! Very hot! Very sensual, especially the morning part.

It's a little sad though that not only the race but although this story will come to an end soon. Or will there be some additional chapters after the race?? Of the party maybe?

Insanity

[watersong84]

That was great!!!

I have to say, though, I am sad to see Anya and Xander go. It seems like that couple always gets the shaft. I am still mad that she *spoilers for Chosen* (hehe) dies in Chosen. And that he left her and all that other stuff...

Anyway, back to the topic at hand - I wish that Buffy would just kick Riley or something. He is so f*ing annoying - so utterly Riley.

Tara tried hard to stay focused. "Do we have time?" she asked, at the back of her mind she was trying to remember if she looked at the clock, but rational thought was becoming impossible when her arms are held high above her head and Willow was kissing her.

"Let me worry about the time, just relax,"

First of all, this was a beautiful love scene between our girls, but sencond of all, I am a tad bit worried that they are going to miss their departure time. Willow didn't look at the clock! What if they fall back asleep! Ah! Oh well, I trust that Willow is responsable enough to keep track of the time? Hopefully...

-Alyssa

[tarawhipped]

watson! You updated! *swoons* I honestly wasn't expecting it from a sick little kitty, but it's very much appreciated. And I know I'm bad for not updating anything before I leave, but I hope to have much updatey goodness when I return.

So, Xander and Anya are not only out of the race, but apparently heading for divorce court. I wonder how the loss of their alliance will affect the Lovebirds. W/T seemed to contribute a bit more, so it may not be too big of a deal. It also means they don't have to worry about getting cuthroat competitive with them at the end, which is of the good. Now if you could just get rid of Riley and Buffy...but losing the obnoxious couple makes for boring tv--err--fic, so I'm thinking we're stuck with them for a while yet. Though if team chemistry counts for anything, they'll be next...Rupert and Randy *snicker* seem to have bonded over the course of the race, and even Adam and Oz work well together, despite never seeming to communicate in sentences (esp perhaps?). I was so excited by the "Climb Up" challenge...the one and only time I've EVER seen TAR, that was the bit I caught, so I had a good image of the big creepy cave.

The extra was just lovely...Tara is very smart figuring out how to shut off Willow's brain so they could get some sleep (cause I'm sure that's what she was after...sleep...yeah). I especially loved this thought:

What was my life before her like? I can't remember. I can't imagine.

*swoons again* Sooooo romantic. *happy contented sigh and warm fuzzies* Thanks so much, watson!

-Cam

edited cause I can't spell, but luckily my Beta checks my fb too!

[meretricious]

watson, this update was the cherry on the cake of my day.
i get a kick of how snarky you really doesn't know what race producer you is up to, she's all worrying about how the lovebird/pirate alliance will play out, when it's doomed by impending seasickness. nice misdirecting there.
between robin's sports metaphors and riley's rileyness, sometimes i want to hit mute on those dudes. i was all thinking riley is such a prick, who would give him money? and then, damn, fans.
and i know that "poor misguided fool..." is a song lyric from somewhere, 70's i think, and damned if i can recall it. it's even googleproof :(
and zero logic to flightplans, for sure. last year we had to fly from midwest to texas to get to canada. screwy.
really good challenges here, i was suprised so many teams went diving though, seems like a higher learning curve. and i'm pretty sure you resisted the urge to make any bat cave puns, go you. and a riley/randy cock waving contest? had to scrub that image from my brain with a brillo pad tyvm.
was curious, how did faith and robin get to dive first? they all got there together, right? sad to see the prirates succumb to seasickness and snarkiness, reverting right back to their earlier behaviors. is it wrong to think that anya will prob find a divorce lawyer that will make xander lucky to keep his wristwatch?
ok, the high five/low five? funniest image, i can absolutely picture an excited little oz jumping up to slap that low hand, perfect.
k, i'm running out of time here, and could easily comment on every paragraph, but 2 things i must say
the extra, lovely. often fanfic sex doesn't seem to read anything like real sex, sometimes i wonder if the author has ever actually made love or just read about it. but this was real, and lovely, and each and every one of their thoughts, esp the "i can feel it" refrain just hit right in the solar plexis, beautifully done. this is you with writers block on drugs? i don't believe it.
and finally

time freezes for you;
your lead is an illusion
you wait together

i had to, i just had to~mary

[watty]

i know that "poor misguided fool..." is a song lyric from somewhere, 70's i think

Hey Mary, my version is from "Poor Misguided Fool" by Starsailor, from the album Love is Here. I don't have enough music creds to know whether it's a cover or not, heehee .

Lyrics

[JustSkipIt]

Watson,
Yay! You updated! How awesome for you and your writer’s block. I must say that I wish I had the time to have writer’s block. I have all the information in my head: it’s getting the time to put in on “paper” that is the struggle.

How awesome that LD/Pirates are still working together. And of course, Team Efficiency at the front. Maybe we should have coordinated so the same people won’t win $1,000,000 from me and you. Not quite fair.

I could have done with some better explanations of the flight times on the flight to Sandakan?

Even Robin blanches at the prospect of an hour bouncing up and down in those rickety beasts.

Hey but if they stay with the detour, there’s the chance to see Faith’s … assets bouncing up and down again. That’s your commitment right? Faith doing a lot of bouncing?

Faith & Robin are keen a sticks

Huh? Either I’m not all with the hip lingo these kids theseadays use or there’s a type and I’m not hip to the lingo. They look good and are ready to go is my translation.

Because you haven’t mentioned it yet, Bat guano is one of the foulest smelling things in existence. We have a huge population of bats in Austin (keeps the bugs down at least) and the smell is overwhelming in some places.

Yay for Lovebirds and RR on the early flight to Australia but I wish TE was too (of course). And then of course the 3:00 arrival so minor bunching there.

Again looking for more information on the arrival at the Yield (although points for using Peloton). They zorbed on TAR5 and it looked like a lot of fun! And of course the Faith ogling on the finished zorb! Yep, Tara too. Saw that one coming a mile away. Why would idiot Riley use up a roadblock chance on the zorb? Stupid!

The extra: probably my favorite yet. The use of the italic thoughts was a wonderful addition and really flavored the entire thing. Quite beautiful. Well done.

[watty]

I could have done with some better explanations of the flight times on the flight to Sandakan?

Again looking for more information on the arrival at the Yield.

Debra, my bad. What can I say? I was tired.

The flight times are quite complicated, so I kinda glazed over them. But, since you asked .

Singapore to Sandakan

Basically teams have to fly to Kuala Lumpur (KL) or Kuching then to Kota Kinabalu (KK) which connects to Sandakan.

Connecting via Kuala Lumpur:

• W/T and X/A got on a 10.05am Malaysian Airlines (MH604) to Kuala Lumpur that arrives 11am
• F/R got a 11am Air India (AI446) to Kuala Lumpur that arrives 11.55am
• The connecting flight KL to Kota Kinabalu is at 12pm. So W/T and X/A will get on it without problems. It was delayed 15 minutes to 12.15pm, so F/R were able to get on. KL airport is not very large and if they know there are passengers connecting, they will wait.
• W/T, X/A and F/R are on the same flight from KL to Kota Kinabalu
• KL to Kota Kinabalu (MH086) arrives 2.35pm
• Kota Kinabalu to Sandakan (MH2109) leaves 3.20pm and arrives 4.10pm

The remaining teams (A/O, R/R, B/R):

• They all miss the earlier flights from Singapore to KL
• They get on the next flight which leaves 1.25pm (MH638) and arrives at Kuching 2.50pm
• Kuching to Kota Kinabalu (MH2820) leaves 3.50pm and arrives 5.15pm
• Kota Kinabalu to Sandakan (MH2072) leaves 7.35pm and arrives 8.25pm, hence totally dark when they arrive at the Rotary Observation Pavilion. I imagine the cluebox is outside, so it doesn't matter if it's dark

Yield

• W/T and R/R arrive at Brisbane at 3.05am, so they will reach Surfers Paradise around 4.30am (around 1 hour to drive there). They start looking for lifeguards around 7.30-8am.
• The other teams arrive at Brisbane 6.30am. I have them starting to look for lifeguards just after 8am, cos they have to get to Surfers and get orientated.
• R/R finish the lifeguard task around 8.45am, the guard towers are about 7-10 minutes away from each other so it will take that long.
• It's literally a 15 min drive to Dreamworld and the Yield. Another 10 minutes to the Zorb place, zorbing takes 10-15 mins. 15-20 to Hope Island. They would have been at the Pitstop by 10am.
• The peloton finish the lifeguard task between 9am and 9.15am, so it's quite close, they'd be at the Yield around 9.15-9.30am. I have all teams at the Pistop by 11.30am - the later teams will have to wait their turns for the zorb.

Hope that makes sense!

[cooper]

Watson

What a great way to finish the update. This update was great. I had been missing the story and I logged on this morning/afternoon for some reading on my day off and I get this! Woo and Hoo.

So sad that Xander and Anya are done. Wishing it would have been someone else, but at least it wasn't W/T. Great way to come back and I am glad that the writer's block is on hiatus

cooper

[Artemis]

Awww Thanks for the plug for the wallpaper. It was a bit of a neat surprise that the colours turned out the same as your route map. If anyone hasn't checked it yet, this is it:
. Okay, self-promotion over now

And now, onto the episode, what can I say? Well, nothing much, the drool's getting in the way from that zorbing wet shirt sequence I bet a big cheer went up in Club 71 during that.

Poor Pirates... I'm not sure what to think about them. On the one hand, Anya did go into a bit of a major meltdown there, though later having the bad luck to miss the lifeguard after catching most everyone else up on the planes must've been a bitter pill to swallow. I don't think they're doomed as a couple - true Anya blew up unfairly, but it's not hard to see how her competetive nature, while often an asset, became a major problem under this kind of stress. I don't think she was necessarily in the wrong deciding to try to push ahead with the diving task - sure, switching to the cave might have been safer, buy Anya was right in worrying about being caught up, and sometimes you've got to take a risk to get ahead. But once it all went wrong, it seems she just wasn't able to shrug it off.

I don't think it's impossible that, given time to calm down after it's all over, she'll look back on her behaviour and accept that she was being unfair, and she and Xander can put this behind them, and approach such situations with more self-awareness in the future. True, they were tested and didn't come through it okay - but a relationship doesn't have to be about getting it right every time. Maybe they can pick themselves up and be better, now that they've had a taste of what not to do.

So the Lovebirds lose their allies, which is a pity for them too, but it was getting close to every-team-for-itself time anyway. More smart racing from Willow, not just taking someone's word for which flight was quickest but doing the research herself. That sort of thing could win or lose the race (Kris and Jon and the Evil American Airlines minion come to mind), so it's good to see the Lovebirds doing it right. Robin getting miffed was a bit surprising - sportsmanship is all very well, but you don't stop to help your competitors when they're not in actual trouble. But that aside, I don't see a problem for Team Efficiency as a whole - if Robin maybe lacks a bit of the go-for-the-throat fighting spirit, Faith will likely make up for it.

I'll admit, I would have chosen the cave detour, and got a nasty surprise. I was thinking huge cavern, hundreds of bats, majestic, unearthly and so on - didn't occur to me until they got there that all those bats don't leave the cave when they have to visit the little aerial mammals' room, so yeah... looks like Anya would've got an upset stomach either way.

Riley... Riley needs his ass kicked. Buffy gets points for telling him to shut up, so maybe she'll be delivering said kicking of ass soon. They're still strong racers, but I can't help thinking that going around pissed off at each other the whole time is going to interfere - they miss opportunities, as with not realising (or noticing) that they'd lose time choosing the dive detour. Even though it didn't matter, what with the plane bunch, it's easy to imagine the Goldies forgetting to check for earlier flights the way the Lovebirds do, just because Buffy's busy detesting Riley, and Riley's busy detesting the world in general.

Lots of great laughs this episode: 'they high five each other, or rather, Oz high fives and Adam low fives', oh, and '"Assignments are due on Tuesday!" Rupert calls out as he jolts up, his eyes glazed and unfocused. I crack up.' You weren't the only one cracking up there. And "Apparently the non-Roadblocking partner can choose to lie down at the bottom of the slope and have the zorb roll over him at the end. Rupert, with a look that says "you're kidding me?" politely declines." Great stuff.

And yay, the Gold Coast! Getting close to home. You know they had snow there just a week or so ago - snow at Surfers, no kidding. "Wowza, these Australian babes, they're the dish, dude." Uh-huh "Why did Baywatch move to Hawaii again?" Actually they wanted to set up just north of Sydney, but the residents kicked up a fuss - didn't want a film crew on their beloved beach, the whole 'not in my backyard' thing. Silly residents - most of them never used the beach anyway, they were just worried about their property values. But for them, we'd have had Tania Zaetta in a swimsuit every week Sorry, I think I went onto a personal rant there...

Looking ahead, I agree with recap-Watson that Team Efficiency are in a good position. Between Faith and Robin they've got a good mix of ability and approach, and should be able to negotiate whatever the race throws at them. TallShort remain potentially dangerous, but they have to lift soon - they've been coasting along, racing safe and steady, for essentially the entire race - 3rd or lower since Switzerland, while most of the remaining teams (Goldies excepted) have been steadily lifting their game. I worry that if TallShort don't take the bull by the horns soon they'll be left in the dust, and other confused metaphors. Rupert & Randy seem strong, and could be a surprise stayer into the final three. Goldies, as I said above, look likely to miss the boat somewhere if they don't get their act together.

Meanwhile, the Lovebirds are making love In addition to being an incredibly sweet, hot, and soulful extra, I think this could actually be helpful to them in the race - now that they're getting some bedroom action in itself, but that they seem likely to be going into the next leg happy and upbeat - quite the opposite of the Goldies, and I think as liable to prosper as Goldies are to falter. I agree with the other posters here that Willow and Tara have already found something a lot more precious than prize money - but with that kind of positive start to the day, I think they're excellently placed to look for opportunities along the route, and shrug off any setbacks without getting upset and making things worse for themselves.

Still, with the exception of the Goldies (who I don't believe will make it to the finale anyway), I wouldn't be terribly upset to see any of the remaining teams winning, so it looks like being an upbeat finale whatever happens, after the next couple of legs. Great work And you know I'm looking forward to the next episode

[blue eyed girl]

First I want to say that I hope you are feeling better. When I was in college I had a respiratory infection for a few months and it was no fun. So I understand what you are going through and hope you feel better soon.

I am sad to see that Anya and Xander aka the Pirates were eliminated this time. They were my second favorite team right after The Lovebirds of course. But if you were going for a surprise with that elimination you definitely did it since I would have never guessed they would have been eliminated when this episode started.

And we have more of Riley the jerk in this episode. With him gloating about Anya being sick so they end up not being in last and also with the whole taxi situation. The scene with the taxi reminded me of when Lynn and Alex did the same thing to Rob and Amber in the last season of TAR. I didn't really enjoy their attitude about it then and I didn't like Riley's in this one either.

The Zorbing in the roadblock sounded really fun. And I liked how you used it so we could all picture Faith and Tara in wet shirts. A nice use of the roadblock.

Oh and really enjoyed the extra too.

But at this moment, as their love enveloped them, it was not the time for talk. Talking would be later, when the reality of the outside world greeted them again. At this moment, they were just two girls, one soul, in love.

This was a perfect way to end it. Loved it and I can't wait for more.

[watty]

I know, two weeks isn't "back to schedule" but it's better than the 3 week gap last time, right? Anyway, replies then update. And boy, it's gonna be a thrilling update. Just you see.


justin - Riley is an asshat, but on the otherhand, his nastiness is probably exaggerated by the editors, who always insert personality to the teams to give the Race some spice. X/A, I don't think are that bad when they return home. Their behavior towards each other isn't anything new, hopefully they go home and have a straight talk and try to communicate better in future.

Where can we find these screen grabs?

Chris' website, but as they're photomanipulations they can't be posted on the KB.


Insanity - yep Faith and Tara in wet t-shirts. Admittedly I was too concerned with the 6 roadblock rule to grasp the possibility until I came to write that section. Yep, Kitten Race is written with very little planning .

will there be some additional chapters after the race?? Of the party maybe?

It's not spoilery, cos it's standard TWoP practice. There is a party where racers, past racers, Phil and even the recapper are invited, and they watch the final together. It gets recapped too, so I'll be doing that. Anything else, I'll have to wait and see.


watersong84 - well X/A had a good run, so I hope they don't consider they're shafted. Like I said to justin, I think they'll return home, calm down from the disappointment, and go forward in their marriage.

I am a tad bit worried that they are going to miss their departure time. Willow didn't look at the clock!

I have Willow pegged as one of those people who know what time it is instinctively. She could have glanced at the bedside clock, it only takes a second .


Cam - yes I was very nice to you, you asked for an update and you got an update. And what do you do to thank me? You call me a copout, now what sort of friend are you, huh?

Great analysis and summary of all the teams. Very concise. W/T will miss X/A but race-wise they should be able to hold their own. B/R, oh yes I need them, cos I need my villains in the fic, otherwise it'll be sweetness all the time and it does make for boring 'tv". R/R and A/O are cruising along too much, they need to speed up.

Tara is very smart figuring out how to shut off Willow's brain so they could get some sleep (cause I'm sure that's what she was after...sleep...yeah)

That's a trick that I've seen many fictional Tara have, and it's very in character. Well, I'm sure she wasn't after just sleep .


mary - hey, that was a longish fb from you, yay!

i get a kick of how snarky you really doesn't know what race producer you is up to

my friend, that's called split personality, or schizophrenic. I do get a kick out of surprising myself.

was curious, how did faith and robin get to dive first?

something I glossed over was the arrival time of the speedboats, I figured X/A's boat is delayed cos of their hesitation, and F/R's boat was a couple of minutes in front of W/T's.

often fanfic sex doesn't seem to read anything like real sex, sometimes i wonder if the author has ever actually made love or just read about it.

Wow, thank you. To be honest, most of the smut I write comes from imagination and research, personal experience is a tad limited for me, but I do get what it means. I'm so glad you liked, and your comments really made my day.


Elvis - LOL on the bat dung, I was researching the Gomantang caves and read a few reviewers talking about the stench and the bugs everywhere. Must not be a very nice place to visit.

Maybe we should have coordinated so the same people won’t win $1,000,000 from me and you.

but I want to be unspoiled for SAI, so ... well can't be helped. It'll be interesting to see if we do have the same winners, seeing that we both used the "random draw" method to determine out winners. That'll be such a huge co-incidence won't it? Hope the flight info was useful.

The extra: probably my favorite yet.

The Miss Kitty video is still my favorite, as is the first time under the stars. But this one is close. It's strange how I wasn't gonna write a sex scene at all. There was supposed to be some snuggling and may be small mention of lovemaking (like how you skip a couple of hours ahead), but it was supposed to be something else following that, which will have to be another day.

ps I need to reply to your email, I have some more thoughts. It's been a long day and I want to post the next part first, I'll try to reply afterwards.


cooper - thank you! sorry about the long wait. Hope I can get back to the swing of things soon.

I am glad that the writer's block is on hiatus

I did a banishing spell, hopefully it'll stay away, far away .


Irene - am so happy you liked! No 1 FAN's approval is very important. You hit it on the head (as usual, you understand my mind so well) about Riley. It's too much about winning and nothing about participating. In his defence, the editors probably made him worse than he was.

Sex and making love are absolutley NOT the same thing,

and

I believe that Willow and Tara have already won in this race...their prize...Unconditional love for each other

This is something I've learnt from all the writers on Pens, that love is beautiful and unconditional love is priceless. sigh. Thanks honey.


Chris - EXCELLENT analysis of all the teams. Agree that X/A are not doomed, they need to put the disappointment behind them and think positively of the benefits of having had this experience. B/R have the physical ability, but not race smarts. They thought they could rely on their athletic experience, but it's a different arena, different requirements. F/R on the other hand, are a good mixture of physicality and race smarts, and yes I have deliberately written them this way from day one. As for A/O, to use one of Robin's sports metaphors, they need to kick up a gear, cruising along has been fine up to now, but it starts getting serious. Which is why R/R are not my darkhorse choice, they seem to be working well and Rupert's intelligence will prove to be useful.

the Lovebirds are making love

They certainly are. Yes, getting some bedroom does wonders for the energy level, it doesn't matter if you haven't slept that much. I think there must be some scientific studies on the topic may be I'll go research.


blue eyed girl -

I hope you are feeling better

It's getting better but will take time to clear. It helps that I can write again, doing something I enjoy helps, it really does.

I would have never guessed [X/A] would have been eliminated when this episode started

That is why I adore TAR, the unpredictability. That a team can start a leg hours in front but bunching, a mistake or an unfortunate event can set them back and they re eliminated. Update coming right up.

*****

[watty]

[center][/center]


Title: The Amazing Kitten Race
Author: watson (additional writing by Carleen)
Distribution: this is for Pens, if you want to archive it elsewhere, please let me know me first
Rating: Episodes are PG-13, Recaps and Extras are R or more
Disclaimer: BtVS characters, concepts and dialog belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, The WB, UPN and others. The Amazing Race belongs to CBS, Amazing Race Productions Inc, Touchstone Television Productions Inc, Jerry Bruckheimer Productions and others.
Summary: The Amazing Race Crossover. It's a race around the world. Who will be Eliminated? Who will win $1 million?
Notes: The Roadblock was the Fast Forward from TAR2.
Thanks:

1. My sincere thanks and gratitude to Chris Cook who planned 99% of the leg and gave me so many wonderful tips for locations and tasks. Smut Bunnies and all related ideas/characters/images are ©Chris, of course.
2. And to Carleen, who has transcended from sometime-beta to co-writer. If you find yourself guffawing anytime during this episode or going "awwww" in the Extra, chances are she has something to do with it. She is also the originator of the idea for the Extra. My thanks to my bestest pal for sticking with me throughout the long weeks of writer's block and illness, your encouragement and eternal sense of fun pulled me through. I'd blow you kisses if I thought I could get away with it .
3. Isn't it great to have other people do your work for you so you can just sit back and take the credit?

Episode 10 - It doesn't make my butt look big?

Episode recap

At the Hope Island resort off Australia's Gold Coast, you can play golf, improve your backhand at the Pat Cash International Tennis Academy, dock your luxury yacht, enjoy food & beverage at the exclusive Spike's Café and Bar, even purchase property for either permanent stays or as vacation homes. Now I sound like I missed my calling as time-share salesperson. [*Fencey rolls his eyes.*] It was also the latest pitstop for a grueling race around the world, now entering a critical phase.

As Phil says, the five teams have no idea what is in store for them, though I can guess it'll involve traipsing around in Australia or venturing to New Zealand sometime this episode or next. Perhaps moseying to Asia again or Pacific Islands before heading back to the States. Then again I may be completely wrong and the Amazing Producers produce some miracle of geography and have the teams go to a place completely unexpected. [*what? like the moon?*]

Teams at the Pitstop, enjoying the country club surroundings. The shotgun marriage of Rupert & Randy and Adam & Oz isn't heading for divorce court yet, they are at the poolside chatting away and comparing notes. A barbie is shown prominently in the background, manned by a burly hunk in T-shirt and safari shorts. For those of you uninitiated in Aussie Slang, a barbie is a barbeque grill, not an anatomically impossible doll.

Willow & Tara, having lost their allies, are in a world of their own. Phil wonders if they will flounder or emerge stronger. They're in a world of their own alright, sitting quietly at a corner whispering to each other. Casting my mind back to the beginning of the Race, when they seem to be struggling to get comfortable with each other, now I think we have a full blown relationship going strong. I'm not stupid, I know something big happened at the camp in Kenya and it wasn't just "naming stars". My point, and I think I have one, is how happy I am about the progress of this pair, just don't do something stupid and ruin my impression of you, okay? I goo-ga at teams I like, but equally I become bitter and caustic if they incur my wrath.


10.09pm. R.Randy do the rip and tear of the clue envelope. They learn that they are to fly to Sydney and play a game of chess at the giant chessboard at Hyde Park. When the game ends, they will receive their next clue. Sounds fun, in a 'aren't chess players at parks a bunch of old fogies?' sort of way. No offense to the youth-challenged sector of the chess-playing circle, of course.

"We're feeling invincible right now, we're nearing the end of the race and we're becoming the team to beat. The couples have their tension-filled moments, but Dad and I are doing so well on our own steam. I can't wait to get going," Randy is as excited as a boy getting ready for a prom date. Just don't take that first step on the dance floor and fall flat on your face, Boy. They jump into their car.

10.33pm. Team Efficiency look seriously like they're getting ready to step up to the starting block in a track race. They're, like, doing stretching exercises and running on the spot and being all energetic. Are they, like, planning to run to Sydney?

"This is the stage of a race where strength of mind is more important than pure physical ability. The pressure cooker is all the way at max now. To have the belief that you are going to win, it takes minds of steel," Robin tries, and fails again with his sports metaphors. Minds of steel? Yes you have pecs of steel, but I don't want any iron filings inside my mind thank you very much.

10.49pm. Lovebirds in rojak clothing. Oh how I have missed the hypnotic effects of the crazy-dye fireworks. They must have been playing with fireworks alright, cos they have this unmistakable, um, afterglow of luuurrrrve about them. It's all dark but man, I can tell from this side of the screen. And it's not even a flatscreen tv! Yes they were definitely too busy during the Pitstop to do their laundry *wags eyebrows*.

11.12pm. Goldies are the antithesis of afterglow. Like, what's the opposite of afterglow? Beforeglow? Riley induced stupor? Stare at Buffy long enough and you get lethargic?

"This is a critical stage of the Race. We must make sure we're in the final three, then we'll be the team to beat," Riley interviews. Okay, did the teams, like, have a brain meld at the Pitstop, cos he's using the same language as his archrival Randy. And that makes me shudder with fear.

11.29pm. TallShort count out the money, they have $171 for this leg of the race. Palindrome Banker makes a cameo! "We have to look sharp," Adam says as they throw their backpacks into their car and drive off into the night.

TallShort car leaves the resort carpark just as R.Randy car pulls into the airport carpark of Brisbane airport.

Guess what? It's the we-know-it'll-make-you-want-to-be-in-a-coma-but-we're-doing-it-anyway segment of the program. It's, gasp, the return of airport bunching. The last flight for Sydney left at 9.10pm and the next one will be at 6am next morning. I'm less incensed about this, since the teams are close together and may have gotten on the same flight anyway. Or may be I have finally resigned myself to the inevitable.

"It was expected. I didn't think the airport will be open this late, it's so rural here," Randy comments. He's big on the commentary today isn't he. And on behalf of the residents of Brisbane, heck, the residents of Queensland, I slap him one. Rural? That's so patronizing. An airport servicing 12 million passengers a year with over 2,100 flights a week to 56 international and domestic destinations is not rural (what? I googled it). An airport with one flight a week and manned by a dungaree-wearing, armpit-scratching, baccy-chewing old timer, that's rural. Shut up, Randy.

Teams arrive in short succession and are greeted by the same empty counter with the big honking sign 'Closed. Open at 5am'. They set up camp at the waiting area.

"We're so used to this bunching now, we just skip over it and think ahead to the next stage," Tara says. SHEEP!

"Time to get some sleep," Willow yawns. BAA-BAA!

~~~~~

Early morning and we get a final sweeping shot of lifeguards and beach babes before zooming in to capture the riveting sight of teams getting on a plane. Yeah, yawn.

7.30am. G'day Sydney! We're back at the scene of much TAR goodness. Who can forget the TAR2 Aussie slang Roadblock, where some teams learnt by painful experience that it's always a good idea to Read the Clue. Or the BridgeClimb? Or 'going for a fast forward cos the other team says they're going for it but we think they're lying'? Sigh. Good times. I'm misting up now.

"Taxi, taxi," shout the teams exiting the airport. I always wonder why people do that, shout "taxi!", cos when I'm driving I can't hear people shouting at me from the sidewalk. I mean they're, like, not within my earshot. I can see waving, but since I close my windows cos of the air-con or I have the radio on, they can shout all they want but I can't hear them. I don't have Slayer hearing. Does it mean taxi drivers do? Or they have a special receiving device that picks up shouts of "taxi!" from outside their vehicle? Okay that's the end of my daily Random Rant About Nothing in Particular. I'll shut up before Sars gets her lazy ass off her couch and sporks me one. [*I'll do more than spork you, I'll tear your tongue out so you can't speak and have to rely on typing out your words for the rest of your life. Time to learn your emoticons, baby. Love, Sars.*]

"Where to, mate?" asks the R.Randy taxi driver. "Hyde Park, mate," Randy grins as he replies with an atrocious Aussie accent. It's like his jaw is stuck from too much cheek sucking. Stop trying so hard, Randy.

"Go, go, go," Riley urges his driver, who shoots him a dirty look before scrolling his eyes to Buffy, who has decided to do a Hayden impression today with the skimpy strap top and no bra look. Problem is, she has nothing to display. Now, Faith, on the other hand ... okay, deep breath, quick slap on face, ice cold shower *whistles innocently*.

In the TallShort cab, they're playing 'Name that Famous Australian' with their cab driver.

"Mel Gibson and Nicole Kidman, we consider them ours," Mr Cabbie says.

"We'll let you have them, but with the understanding that they're both Americans by birth," Adam argues.

"Nature versus nurture, I say we win," Mr Cabbie replies.

"You guys have some crazy representation in Hollywood," says Oz.

"Russell Crowe is hardly a typical example," Adam interjects.

"He's a Kiwi." Oh I love them Aussies, so to the point. See how Mr Cabbie disowns Mr Crowe with just one statement?

"What about Portia de Rossi, she's a little loose in the head," Oz snorts. I have the image of Portia as Nearly Headless Nick with her head about to fall off. May be she'll scandalize the whole school by having an affair with the Fat Lady. Snerk.

"On the contrary, ditching one rich, hot babe for another isn't loose, it's practical," Adam says. I almost spill diet vanilla coke on my brand new all white T-shirt (cos you have to buy new white T-shirts every so often, especially when your old ones start getting yellow at certain seams) at Adam saying "rich, hot babe", oh hubba bubba.

The first team to arrive at Hyde Park is Rupert & Randy, continuing their streak of good placing. Now I have to contemplate this pairing in the final three, cos I never considered that they'd make it this far. Rupert isn't the fittest fiddle in the Race, and Randy is simply too random, but may be I dismissed them too soon.

They join the locals playing chess at a person-sized board painted on the ground. The pieces are about 2 feet tall and it all looks quite quaint. The players are office types in shirts and ties even, not the old fogies I expected. I can imagine one of them saying as he leaves his suburban home, "I'm off now honey, getting a game of chess before I start the day in the office." Heh.

Rupert wisely figures out the best way to get to the end of the game and the clue is to lose quickly, which he does in ruthless abandonment, even earning a handshake and backpat from his opponent.

"The first instinct when playing is to win, but we're not here to win, we need to finish the game and get the clue, which means letting our opponent win. So I played a variation of what's known as Fool's Mate, and I was so happy my opponent recognized it," Rupert explained. Not bad, for an old fogey.

They get the clue, which includes a Fast Forward. Amazing Exposition Hands and Yummy Phil join forces to explain. Blah blah blah only two for the whole Race, only one team can get it each time, proceed directly to the pitstop, yeah we know the drill, Phil. He does the "teams have to decide when is the most advantageous to go for it" spiel too. In this FF, teams have to go to the Sydney Cricket Ground and complete two tasks — Bowl a Maiden Over and Hit a Boundary. I've been told these are kosher cricket terms, for which I can only say, call the Society Against Cruelty to Maidens and Boundaries, stat. The camera pans to a large grass pitch with people in white uniforms pitching a red ball overarm at another person standing in front of three little sticks holding what looks suspiciously like a short-handled paddle. Yes, that's cricket in a nutshell.

"That doesn't sound too hard, let's go for it," Rupert orders. Randy follows meekly.

Teams arrive at Hyde Park to sign up for their turns on the chessboard. It's now TallShort. They play against a surfer dude type, in good company there. They don't clue onto the need to end the game quickly until part way through the game when Oz has a lightbulb moment. He then proceeds to play badly and gets checkmated shortly after. They get the clue envelope and spy the FF. After a short debate they decide to go for the FF, despite knowing they're not first. That is logic that stumps me. Oh men of few words, you're disappointing me.

Goldies' turn at the chessboard. Riley is clearly out of his league, he takes his sweet time before each move, sweat can be seen dripping out of his brain. Buffy tries to help but gets rebuked. She decides, wisely or not, to stand aside.

Lovebirds and Efficiency look on with impatience. We can tell Willow has figured out the strategy and is angsty for Goldies to finish.

"What I don't understand is why Riley is trying so hard. He doesn't know how to play chess and obviously needs a miracle to win. It's like putting Homer Simpson in the ring with Yoda. He should move along, let the other guy win and get the clue. He's wasting our time too," she says, while pacing a groove in the park.

Luckily GoldenBoy sucks at chess and gets checkmated. He looks disappointed, someone please hit him with a clue by four — winning doesn't matter this time! They decide to give the FF a miss and go for the Detour. A FF and Detour in the same clue envelope, that's new isn't it? Did the FF in TAR7 (the one where Joyce shaved her head) have a Detour inside too? Ack, I need my EEFPs. [*Oh I know! There's this wacky notion of reading the recap. Love, Sars.*]

In this Detour teams choose between High Roller or High Flyer. In High Roller, they travel by bus and light rail to Sydney's only casino and play a coin-tossing game called "Two Up". In High Flyer they travel by bus to Fox Studios and take part in a mock stunt shoot.

I truly expect Goldies to go for the stunt cos it's physical and suits them fine. It must be Surprise Your Recapper Day, cos they go for the coin toss.

"We decided on the coin toss because we want to gain time, and figured we need to think more strategically instead of going for the most obvious task," Buffy explained. Think strategically? What about that display just now at the chessboard?

I heave a sigh of relief as Goldies disappear off my screen, which immediately turns into a sigh of happiness at Lovebirds eye-candy. Alas their appearance is brief because Willow is implementing her get-the-game-over-quickly strategy, they have their clue within minutes. They choose the stunt Detour, wow, this is Surprise Your Recapper Day.

Team Efficiency, uncharacteristically last, have enough Race chops to be watching the teams before them keenly. "We were watching Riley and Willow play, and it was obvious Riley was doing something wrong, not a big surprise, the big oaf is more brawn than brain. Interesting how Willow played to let the other person win and get the clue quickly. We tried to play like her but it messed up our game, it's as hard to lose as to win. Man, chess is hard," Robin laments. At least one team is behaving as expected, they go for the stunt.

~~~~~

We're at the Fast Forward. Rupert & Randy are getting changed into cricket uniforms. Rupert looks quite the dashing colonial gentleman in his crisp whites, Randy looks like a hospital orderly. They are to split up and play with two local teams.

Simple cricket rules. The playing area is a thin rectangular strip in the middle of a large grass field. The pitcher (who they call bowler) bowls 6 times at the batter who hits the ball and runs between the strip. Each time he runs the length of the strip he gets a point (called a run). At the end of the 6 bowls (called an over) another bowler bowls 6 balls from the other end. A maiden over is an over where the batter doesn't score any runs. I'm still laughing furiously at the term, it must have some virgin connotations, damn those English, with their subtle humor. A batter who hits the ball to the edge of the field without the ball being intercepted is said to have scored a boundary. Phil reminds us that the task in the FF is for the Racer on the bowling team to bowl a maiden over, and the Racer on the batting team to score a boundary.

Rupert is with the batting team and Randy with the bowling team. The coach give each of them some pointers and they nod like they understand.

Meanwhile TallShort have arrived and are kitting up. They set up camp with another group of players at the other side of the field. Oz is bowling and Adam is batting. Oz bowls at an opponent and the ball is hit back at him, he runs after it but slips, he looks peeved.

Funny segment of the four guys running, throwing and bowling, it's like something out of Monty Python. I don't know who is funnier, Randy doing an impression of a dancing puppet with his bowling action, or huge Adam trying to connect a tiny wooden paddle with a tiny ball. It's an even contest.


Elsewhere, we're at the Detour. Goldies are doing the All Sydney public transport tour, they're on a bus, asking the bus driver about the light rail. Then they're at the light rail, asking the conductor about the casino. "I can't believe how small the city is, looking at the map we've traveled through half the central area already, I thought it'd be larger and more urban, like LA," Buffy says. That comment sounds mundane enough, but when I think about it, it's kind of patronizing. It's like she's disappointed at the size of the city, I can't quite put my finger on it. Perhaps I'm blinded by my dislike of this team; that has happened before.

They hop onto the light rail and are next seen disembarking at the casino. The casino is a bustling place, full of locals and tourists. A special area is set up for the game of Two Up, and Phil helpfully tells us about the game's heritage, that it was played by Australian soldiers during World War I and how it is only legal to play outside of a casino on ANZAC Day (Australian Memorial Day). As he explains the rules, it occurs to me that it's merely a glorified coin toss game; the only exciting thing is that people gamble on the outcome. No wonder it's no longer popular, I mean, coin tossing vs say, internet poker, it's a no brainer really.

Goldies get ready to toss the coin and make bets. I almost expect a representative from Gamblers Anonymous to march up any second now. Buffy steps up, she's told she has to place them in slots in a small wooden paddle and then flip the paddle so the coins are tossed up over her head. People bet on the outcome, like two heads or two tails. One head and one tail is void. Riiight, between this coin tossing contraption and the cricket bat, I'm seeing a paddle theme here. Are the Amazing Producers telling us something? Are we moving to BDSM territory soon?

Buffy tosses the coins amidst loud cheering from a rapidly growing number of on-lookers. What can I say, the combination of pretty blonde and gambling works every time. You ever wondered why there are so many scantily-clad big-hair blondes in Las Vegas or Atlantic City? Look at the profile of the punters — men with pot-bellies and more cash than sense, gambling is probably the only thing keeping them up (you can interpret that whichever way you want). And that's my second Random Rant About Nothing in Particular. Will someone please shut me up now? [*You're pushing it, buddy, I'm watching you. Love, Sars.*]


Back at the FF, Rupert hits a shot to the edge of the field and gets his boundary, he looks pleased, with a self-satisfied smirk normally found on Randy. Like father, like son, eh. Randy is still trying to get his maiden.

Adam is doing poorly and not hitting the ball at all. Guess he never made the softball team, huh. Oz's bowls are also too tame, the batter easily hits him all over the park.

Meantime Randy somehow gets the bowling action right and he gets his maiden over. Now we have both Rupert and Randy with self-satisfied smirks. It's not a pretty sight. They receive the clue, which tells them to make their way to the ferry terminal and head directly for the Taronga Zoo, the Pitstop for this leg of the Race. They're ecstatic.

Adam & Oz, looking like two deflated punch bags, sitting at the side of the field. "We're screwed," Adam says. They debate whether to do the coin toss or mock stunt, the choice is made easy as they find out that Fox Studios is next to the cricket ground. They hasten to the studio.


We're back at the casino detour. Buffy is still tossing coins, to the delight of the crowd. She's supposed to land the coins inside the marked area, but she mistimes one toss and they roll away. She chases after it, but it's elusive, like Riley's one brain cell. She runs after it gallantly. Eventually she catches up and stomps on it, may be it is Riley's one brain cell and she needs it, hence the desperation. Snerk.

Riley meantime, is placing bets on the outcome. No brain cells needed, cos it's completely random. He wins some, he loses some, he makes slow progress towards the $20.

"This is going far too slowly, I'm gonna take a big gamble," he decides. Buffy is too busy tossing to notice, not sure how much she can stop him anyway. He proceeds to put all the money he's won so far in one single bet. When I watched the episode first time his recklessness shocked me, but on subsequent viewing (cos I have to watch an episode, like, 6 times when I'm recapping. Y'all think I have a photographic memory or something?) and reflection, this is exactly the half-assed stupid move Riley will pull.

This time it pays off and he gets his $20. Chalk it up to dumb luck. The next clue tells them to take a postcard of the Sydney Opera House, write the name of the original architect and hand it to an official at the Opera House. If that's supposed to be a puzzle clue, it's not that challenging. But as a regular, non task driven clue, it's simple in its effectiveness.

~~~~~

Fox Studios in Sydney is the new Hollywood, or that's how they sell themselves. The Matrix, Mission Impossible 2, Star Wars Eps 2 and 3 were all filmed there. What, I wonder, is FOX is doing on CBS? Isn't allowing a competitor on your screen a major no-no? Does Rupert Murdoch, like, have some dirt on Les Moonves that we don't know about? Or won a golf bet with Sumner Redstone?

I choose to ignore the blatant cross-advertising. My attention returns to the task, and boy what a task. First to arrive are Lovebirds. In this Detour teams change into costumes, are hooked up with rigged wires and will be filmed doing a stunt sequence in front of a blue screen. They meet the Taskmaster General, a laid-back man of indeterminate age wearing a T-shirt that says I'm much hotter on the internet. He introduces himself as Chris.

"I have just the right costumes for you ladies, it just happens that they started filming SMUT Bunnies: The Movie last week and we have the scene all set up," he grinned. Oooooh, I heard they are filming the adaptation of the comic, and I can't believe CBS set itself up for another product placement. May be they have negotiated first showing rights of "Making of SMUT Bunnies — the Documentary"?

Lovebirds are excited as hell. "I've been reading SMUT Bunnies since the first edition, I have the entire collection, each edition is sealed in an airtight bag and double wrapped, so the paper quality doesn't deteriorate," Willow explains. AHA! I have her pegged as a geek from day one and I'm never wrong, I dance the gleeful dance of recognizing another geek.

"Um, I like them too," Tara says softly. "I like the art, it's very realistic and lively." Not to mention the hot women, my inner snark smirks, but shuts up when it sees how sweet Tara looks. Swoon.

"So, ladies, I'm gonna kit you up as Bunny Agents. We're shooting a scene where Agents Shy Bunny and Adorabunny infiltrate the costume ball on the Disco Volante and they make their escape by jumping onto their Aston Martin submarine. You remember who they dressed up as?" he asks. Do I detect a slight leer? Bad, bad Taskmaster Chris. You can drool but do it in private!

"Supergirl and Lara Croft," Willow supplies the answer immediately. Both girls blush. Yeah, me too, when I look back at the comic (what? I have the entire collection too. I'm a geek, sue me) and remember how totally hot the agents are in their disguise. No wonder Taskmaster Chris is drooling at the thought.

When Lovebirds reappear in their costumes, I realize it has turned into Make Your Recapper Drool All Over the Carpet Day. Hubba bubba. I reach for the remote for the air-con and make a mental note to put ice in my shower. Of course they're hot, but their discomfort and embarrassment at being dressed in such provoking outfits make them cuter. I'd give my left kidney to be a fly-on-the-wall in the changing room, to see their reactions when seeing each other dressed up. I bet it's full of shy, coy glances that speak their desire more than a thousand words. They casually compliment each other, while resisting the impulse to rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love in the tiny confines of the changing room. Heehee, I'm turning into a fanfic writer, somebody give me a smut-filled fic challenge to sink my teeth into!

Taskmaster Chris sets them up in harnesses and attaches them to the wire rig. They stand on top of what is supposed to be the deck of the ocean liner, and water is splashed over them to make it more realistic. There is a rocking movement, mimicking the vessel moving with the roll of the waves.

"I feel like I'm spilling out of this suit," Tara says, trying hard not to squirm in her outfit.

"Yeah it's pretty tight especially when it's wet, and not much support," Willow adds, while adjusting her weapons belt.

At Chris' word, the 'agents' dive off the platform into a mini-swimming pool, doubling as the ocean. They swim a few strokes and climb aboard the Aston Martin submarine. At this point they are soaking wet and their costumes all sorts of clingy. Willow flexes her shoulders as she pretends to start the vehicle and I'm heading dangerously towards NC-17 territory. Tara shakes water out of her hair and the action looks exactly like a shampoo ad. You know, when the model rises up from underneath the water surface, her back arched against the waterfall in the background, and shakes her head so droplets fall enticingly down her lithe, toned body. That's what Tara shaking water out of her hair looks like. Man, this is better than the Herbal Essence ad with the orgasmic moans.

"While you change back into your own clothes, the computer will add the special effects," Chris instructs, helping the 'agents' out of their vehicle. How does he keep a straight face? I bet he's drooling internally.

The film is realistic and action-filled, and I did I say hot already? Well, it bears repeating, the sight of Willow and Tara dressed as SMUT Bunny Agents has completely redeemed the season for me. If I never see The Amazing Race ever again, I'll be happy. Sigh.

After watching the film, they receive the next clue, telling them about taking the postcard to the Opera House and writing down the name of the original architect. Chris looks over their shoulders at the clue and says "Jørn Utzon, the architect's name is Jørn Utzon. Jørn is spelt with a slash across the 'o'," Oh hey! Now he's turning into Fern. We can't have that. He grins at his own cleverness.

Lovebirds thank him profusely and run off to the next routemarker. "He knows all about SMUT Bunnies and comics and other stuff like Star Trek and Buffy and wargames. He's an even bigger geek than Willow. They were talking so much to each other I had to gently remind her that we had a Race to run, if not they'd still be talking," Tara laughs. "He gave us his website address though, he's so sweet."

Next to arrive at Taskmaster Chris' Room o' Tricks are Team Efficiency. Chris is now wearing a T-shirt that says Objects under this T-shirt are larger than they appear, and a large luminous arrow pointing down. I crack up, this guy's funny.

Faith takes one look at the T-shirt and says to Robin, "You need this T-shirt." Oh, I'm cracking up so hard my kidneys hurt. Robin and Chris share a look, as if each mentally comparing himself against the other guy, you know, the way guys do.

"You know what will be perfect for you two? Neo and Trinity," Chris says as he leads them to a Matrix rig.

I wait with bated breath for them to reappear in costume, and when they do my eyes bulge so much my eyeballs are in danger of falling to the floor to join my jaw, which has already dropped there. That girl Faith is born to be decked out in all leather and shades, believe me. I imagine her in red latex and I can feel myself zone out. I hope some casting agent is watching, cos she can give Sydney Bristow a run for her money any day.

Chris gives Robin a jealous look, as if saying, "Yeah dude, no wonder you have larger objects than me, with a girlfriend like that." Robin himself is looking very cool, with his long leather coat and clunky boots and dark glasses. Even behind the glasses, Robin has the smirk of the very lucky.

They get ready for their stunt which involves going through a few martial arts moves and jumping off blocks around 15 feet high onto a heavily padded safety net. The resultant film, of them dodging bullets Matrix-style, then both leaping off the top of a skyscraper, should make even Master Yuen smile.

While they're watching, TallShort arrive. Looks like they aren't as far behind as I thought. Riley at the chessboard probably delayed Efficiency.

Chris leaves Efficiency with the film and greets his newest vict—, er, customers. He takes one look at the duo and says one word, "Tarzan." Next thing we see ... Oh. my. god. Adam in a loincloth as Tarzan and Oz in a monkey suit as Cheetah. This is How Many Shocks Can Your Recapper Take Day!

Efficiency are on their way out of the studio and they do a double take when they see TallShort. "Hey Jungle Man, you've got a nice object under your loincloth," Faith smirks. I'm dying here. Robin looks like he's trying not to laugh and fart at the same time.

Oz raises an eyebrow. "Yeah, nice loincloth you have there," he says to his team-mate. Look people. I so don't need my attention to be drawn to the very tiny, cheetah print [*groan*] loincloth that barely covers Adam's, um, objects, okay?

If Adam is embarrassed about displaying his objects, he's not showing. "Thanks, I like your tail," he tosses back at Oz.

"It doesn't make my butt look big?" Oz deadpans. Oh fuck me with a feather. These two should have their own show, they're the masters of deadpan, makes Stan Laurel smile a rare smile in his grave.

Adam raises an eyebrow. "Not compared to the rest of you, Monkey Boy."

Now it's Oz's turn with the raised eyebrow. "Didn't see that coming, I'm impressed."

Wow, that's the most emotion this pair has shown, like, all Race, it's quite the event. I feel like it's Imitate Phil's Eyebrow Pop Day and my knees go weak at the eyebrow popping. Don't y'all know I have a weakness for hot dudes popping their eyebrows?

They get ready for their stunt. Taskmaster Chris has in the meantime changed into a T-shirt that says Don't Panic. It'll only seem kinky the first time. Why is Chris changing T-shirts every time a team appears? This guy is nuts, but a good sort of nuts. Sars and Wing should recruit him, I bet he does a mean recap.

Meanwhile, Efficiency are leaving. Faith gives Chris a friendly kiss on the cheek before running off. He blushes 15 shades of pink and covers up his puppy-eye look at Faith by returning to Tarzan and Cheetah. He rigs them up and shows them how to swing from 'trees', just like they're in the jungle.

As if my day isn't crazy enough, I have Tarzan and Jane (click to play) playing in a loop inside my head as soon as I see TallShort as Tarzan and Cheetah. Sheesh, these 90s dance music are addictive.

[blockquote]
Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan is strong
So listen to the jungle song

Go Cheetah, Get Banana
Hey Monkey, Get Funky
[/blockquote]

Sigh. I think I'll have to ask for early retirement, or a long sabbatical, after this Race is over. My mind is slipping.

Tarzan and his pet monkey finish the stunt, and the film is wild, man. They get their clue from Chris, now sporting a T-shirt that says Chaos! Panic! Disorder! My Work Here is Done! So, it's HIM! He's the one causing chaos in my head. Help! Help! [/Penelope Pitstop voice]

~~~~~

After the craziness that is the Best. Detour. Ever, we are pulled back to the dreariness that is the rest of the Race. Arriving first at the Opera House are Lovebirds, fresh from their Smut Bunnies experience (I'm still hyperventilating).

They exit their taxi, take a moment to admire the unique architecture, and are at the routemarker. They hand the postcard with the answer to the lady at the souvenir shop and receive their next clue.

Now, the debate on whether they should receive a time penalty because they arrived with the answer, which Taskmaster Chris gave them. First of all, we are not privy to all the inner workings of the Race, may be they do receive a time penalty at the Pitstop, may be they don't. It's entirely up to the Amazing Producers. Secondly, the name of the architect is so prominently displayed in and around the Opera House, even Riley will have no problems flipping through a souvenir brochure or looking at a plague and finding the answer. How much time do Willow & Tara gain by knowing the answer to the clue already? In my opinion, probably only 5-10 minutes.

Right, rant over. The next clue is a Roadblock. Teams have to 'Eat 3 Tigers in Woolloomooloo'. They are not told where or what Woolloomooloo is, or even how to pronounce it. And I know the Amazing Producers are sadistic, but they won't have teams eat actual tigers. I hope. It's hilarious, hearing them making moo-moo sounds, they laugh at themselves too. They ask a few people around the Opera House, eventually they learn that Woolloomooloo (I love typing this out!) is just east of the Opera House district and they are to go to Harry's Café de Wheels. They hop into a taxi.

Phil explains that Harry's is a mobile café that has been in its current location since the 1930s and is world famous for its beef pies. Their 'Tiger' is a pie topped with mashed potato, mushy peas and gravy. I feel the need to brag now, because I've been to Harry's and I'm so in love with the pies that when my gf suggested going to Australia for vacation I was like "Yay pies!" and not "Yay! Opera House! Harbour Bridge! Koalas!"


In the mean time, Goldies (geez, I've forgotten about them, I'm so lucky) and Efficiency pull up at the Opera House almost at the same time. Like I said before, getting the name of Jørn Utzon is so very easy, but the Roadblock has them stumped. Riley tries to pronounce Woolloomooloo and I totally crack up, he's making mouth movements like he's blowing out candles. Faith doesn't even try to pronounce it, just laughs insanely at Riley's attempt.

They split up to ask directions, which Goldies find first. They hop into a taxi, and when Efficiency sees that, they merely hop into the next one and shout "Follow that cab!" Is this the most overused phrase in the movies? I hazard a guess, yes. Heh.


Lovebirds arrive at Harry's, having decided that Willow is taking the Roadblock. She shrugs and begins eating. I expect a reaction from her at the amount she has to consume, but she tucks in like she hasn't eaten all week. "It was a long day and I was hungry, I didn't feel stuffed till after the second pie, the third one was a challenge. I'm glad they weren't pork pies though, I'm Jewish and Tara is vegetarian, so that would have been fun to try," she explains.

This is an okay Roadblock, as far as a Foodblock goes. Not too off-putting, like the African meat one in Leg 6. Three portions of pie seems tame though, the Amazing Producers could have may be made them eat six. But, hey, that's just me. I like torturing my teams.


The Comedy Duo of TallShort arrive at the Opera House, get their clue and are off to find the pies.


Back at Harry's it's Buffy against Robin. No matter how much Buffy can scoff, she is simply no match for Robin, who almost bite off the entire portion in one mouthful. Is size of mouth proportional to, say, size of objects? Yeah, I don't wanna go there.


Willow finishes her pies and gets the clue for the Pitstop.


Now we return to the team I have forgotten. R.Randy leave their ferry and arrive at Taronga Zoo. Phil is obviously enjoying being near home, he returns to our screen in a checked shirt and tight pants, his Kiwi accent oh so more obvious. He explains that the Pitstop is slightly different than usual, in that a task is involved. When teams arrive at the Zoo they will make their way to the bird show amphitheater where a handler will fly one of the resident birds of prey onto the outstretched arm of the team members. When the bird lands, the team will be checked in. I pick my jaw back up from its dropped position on the floor, it's been spending a lot of time there today. What an amazing experience!

When R.Randy arrive, they are told that they will be getting their timecheck by one of the cockatoos. The handler equips them with gloves and it's a beautiful swooping shot of the bird coming in to land. The inner child in me screams that I want to go to Taronga Zoo next weekend.

Rupert & Randy, you're team number one. That's two legs in a row, they look so pleased with themselves. "Winning the fast forward gave us a great adrenalin rush, we are totally unstoppable now. We're gonna win this thing," Randy interviews.


Back at Harry's Robin finishes just as TallShort pull up. Buffy finishes shortly afterwards and the Two Athletic Couples are off to catch their ferry.

Lovebirds at the Circular Quay, they get on a ferry crowded with school children. They look out for the other teams and breathe a sigh of relief as the ferry leaves with only them aboard.

Goldies and Efficiency arrive at the quay and board another ferry. Although the editing suggests they are close to Lovebirds, a quick search for the timetable reveals the ferries are actually half an hour apart. Pffft, Amazing Editors, trying to fool me?

Meanwhile Oz finishes for his team. Unless there is a miracle and this is a non-Elim, we won't be getting any more deadpan humor anymore. My heart cries.

At Taronga Zoo, Willow & Tara receive their check-in time from a beautiful Barking Owl. They are team number two.

"We had the most wonderful day, and looked at a side of ourselves we never thought possible. Now the whole world knows how hot my girlfriend is," Willow grins. Tara hides behind her. The capacity crowd at Club 71 and numerous viewing parties cheer wildly. Large portions of the viewing public, male and female, feel a need to adjust and shift in their seats.

Buffy & Riley beat Efficiency to the amphitheater, they hook up with a Long Billed Corella parrot and are team number three. "We're in the top three, that's the most important. We had a good leg, I'm very proud of our performance," Riley puffs his chest out as he speaks. I look away.

Faith & Robin are greeted by a Black Kite, welcome team number four. "The most awesome memory? It'll have to be either the film or just now, with the bird. No, I think seeing me and Ace on film as Matrix heroes. That was the coolest," Faith gushes.

"We're in fourth place, this is not a good position to be in. Coming up to the final bend, we have to double our efforts. But yeah, seeing myself as Keanu, that made my day," Robin grins.

So now we have Adam & Oz, jogging in last. They stretch out their arms to a White Bellied Sea Eagle, it's a spectacular sight. Phil does his "You're the last team to arrive. I'm ....." pause for one second more than I can stand and it's not non-Elim. They are Philminated. I'm sad, and just as I'm getting into them and harboring secret thoughts about a TallShort victory too.

"It was a great trip, I have absolutely no regrets," Adam says.

"And I get to keep the monkey tail, I'm glad I came," Oz adds. What a great pair, I'll miss them as much as I miss BaldSnark or the Frats. Yes, I put them that high on my list of Recapper's Favorites.

As for my Final Three prediction? Y'all know I've been keeping score. Using the semi-scientific method I'm using, the final three will be Efficiency, Lovebirds and R.Randy. I'm going for that as final placing too.


*****

Teaser for Episode 11

Confusion as teams are sent on a wild goose chase towards elusive transportation.

"What's this?" "Pork dumplings." "And this?" "Steamed pork dumplings." "What about these?" "Pork dumplings wrapped in vegetables." "Do you do anything other than pork dumplings?"

Tara signing to a toddler, and gets a smile and a hug.

Rupert admonishes his son. "Why can't you listen to me for once?"

*****

Useful links & information

Fool's mate
Cricket rules
Two Up rules

Fox Studios
Harry's Café de Wheels
Taronga Zoo

*****

[watty]

Episode 10 Extra - The Distance Thing

The room wasn't as luxurious as the one at the golf resort, but it didn't matter this time. They needed to do serious planning.

Having come to the conclusion that they would be leaving Sydney, or possibly Australia, very soon, they went to the hotel travel agent and took every single brochure available back to their room. Willow was scanning through the brochures while Tara was studying their already well-thumbed guidebook. She leaned back against the headboard and looked at the amount of literature they managed to procure.

"We're two legs from the final, somehow we have to find our way back to the US, but they usually leave it as late as possible. Where do we go next leg? More Australia, New Zealand, or back north, like Korea or China or something like that? Ooh, may be we go to Alaska or Canada," Willow mused, pulling the armchair up against the side of the bed. Tara motioned for her to stretch her tired legs out on her lap, she let out a sigh of relief as Tara massaged some of the stiffness out.

"Why do they leave returning to the States till so late?" Tara asked.

"Too well known. If people see us running through their streets with a crew following us, they may reveal where we've been before the show airs. You know how quickly rumors can spread over the internet," Willow explained.

"So where should we research?"

"You carry on with Australia, try Tasmania or Western Australia. I'll look into China, I have a feeling about that. Japan too, again, just a feeling," Willow said. "Do you remember much about Japan?"

Tara thought for a moment. "Mostly how alien the language and people were. It was impossible to get by with English, and the words they do spell with English alphabets are meaningless to us. It'll be tough," Tara replied.

"There's a largish chance we'll go to Japan, cos there hasn't been an extensive leg there," Willow reasoned.

"What about Fiji or something like that?" Tara raised.

Willow rummaged through her stack and handed Tara a few brochures on the Pacific Islands. "Oh yeah, that's very possible. Hawaii too."

"Hawaii? Hmmm. That'll be beautiful, I've always imagined hon—, um, vacationing in Hawaii," Tara said wistfully. Did I nearly say honeymooning? I don't know if Willow is ready to hear that.

"Yeah, but if we go to Hawaii, they'll probably make us hang upside-down over an active volcano," Willow joked.

"But may be we'll get to pick pineapples instead, that could be fun," Tara said.

Their thoughts turned as one to the last time they did fruit picking. Another continent, another eon ago.

"Remember the cherry orchard in England?" Willow asked softly.

Tara didn't need to answer in words. She leant across and gave Willow a kiss. A kiss so sweet and tender, but neither women escalated it, both agreeing silently to keep the faint stirrings of desire at bay. They kept their kiss sensual, yet slow, they knew there were things to be done.

They smiled when they parted lips and settled into their research rhythm. The only sound for the next few minutes was that of pages turning, it was nice, and peaceful. They were a good team, Willow with the lateral thinking and vast ability to find resources and Tara with her eye for detail.

"I can't believe you called me hot on primetime TV," Tara said suddenly, her eyes still on her reading.

Willow looked up from her research. "You were. You are," she stated.

"Do you really think so?" Tara asked. She felt onset of a shyness that she thought she had shed, in the company of her lover.

"I know so. Why? You don't think I think so? Baby, I'm so crazy about you I can't think straight," Willow said as she reached out to lift Tara's chin. Her brief kiss chased away Tara's uncertainties.

"Can't think straight? You mean you don't know what you're doing when you're with me?" Tara mock pouted, though her eyes were twinkling.

"Oh no, I mean, I'm ... oh hell I'm not gonna start babbling. I just want to say, you're so damn hot I'll have trouble fending people away when we get home. I love you so much," Willow said.

"You're not so bad yourself. How much fun were you having, Lara?" Tara smiled.

"The best part was running my eyes slowly over every inch of Supergirl's outfit, of course," Willow grinned, remembering her exuberance at dressing up in her favorite comic book heroes. Geek factor Nine and counting.

"Seems like Faith and Robin had fun too, I could see them in Matrix outfits," Tara said.

"Oh yeah, Faith is all cool action girl, and Robin, well, he already said how he liked seeing himself in the leather duster. Shame we didn't get to talk to Adam and Oz, from what Faith said, they were a hoot as Tarzan and Cheetah. Oz in monkey pants, I bet he speaks French, cos all monkeys are French, did you know? And Adam, wowza, Adam in a loincloth," Willow marveled. And took a breath.

"Oh honey, watch that slobbering," Tara teased. "Continue like that and I'll notify the authorities to take your toaster oven away."

It took Willow a second to click. "Huh? Oh no, Baby I'd never ... hey, you're teasing me," she laughed.

It was the easy, open laughter of two people in tune with each other. It was good to laugh. They returned to their research.

An hour later, Tara finished her notes for Australia and picked up a brochure for the Pacific Islands. "Look at this, how beautiful," she oohed and aahed as she admired the cover photo and flipped through the pages.

"We could go back, when we win our million," Willow said.

"What if we don't win the million?" Tara asked.

"Of course we're gonna win! Positive thinking, Baby! Cos we're tough to beat. That money's ours!" Willow enthused.

"Of course I'm going to think positively, Sweetie. There's so much we can do with that kind of money. I mean ... it could really help ... us ..." Tara looked away, not able to maintain eye contact as she hesitated.

Willow snapped out of her 'Winning the Race' dream immediately. "Baby, what is it?" she asked with concern.

Tara looked back up at Willow, her expression downcast. "Will, one way or another, the show is almost over — whether we win or not — what happens next? Where do we go from here?" she asked.

"I haven't thought about it that much since we started the race, I thought we'd just go back to where we were. If the whole 'us' thing worked out, I figured we'd travel more, have more free time and resources to see each other more often," Willow replied, though it didn't feel like it was the right answer anymore.

"A long distance relationship with more frequent visits? I think we both want more than that," Tara said softly. "After our night in Africa, after yesterday, I think we need more. I need more, Willow. I want more."

Willow stopped her brain for a second and called out to her feelings. "I want more too, Baby," she sighed. She slid off the armchair, climbed onto the bed and took Tara's hands in hers. "I was so afraid of pushing you, of saying the wrong thing, cos, you know, not good with the rejection."

"Oh Sweetie, you'll never say the wrong thing. You can never say anything wrong, not about this, not when it's about us."

Willow smiled broadly. "So, does that mean you want to be with me? Be mine?"

"I already am."

Tara brought their joined hands to her lips and kissed Willow's fingers gently. She felt the fingers slowly cup her face and when Willow pulled their bodies together the kiss was long and intense, open mouth to open mouth. All the promises they held in check for each other were communicated in this one kiss.

There were still things to do. They parted reluctantly, but refused to relinquish the feeling of soft lips against the other, the intense kiss turned into slower, lazier ones, which in turn became tiny pecks.

Willow sat up suddenly, so suddenly that Tara almost jumped in shock. "Oh, oh, oh. We'll have to decide where to live, cos ... well, I don't mind moving to Birmingham but is there where the future of the animation industry is? Probably not Oakland either ... may be we should think about LA, or somewhere around there. And what about our furniture? What do we do with 16 sets of cutlery and all the canned food and tea bags that we'll have ... we'll need a big kitchen! And, and ... I've always wanted a house with a garden, where Miss Kitty can run, you do want to get a cat, don't you," an excited Willow was pretty much unstoppable.

Except for one way, and only by one person. Tara put her fingers against that babbling mouth. "Let's finish the Race first, then we'll figure out what we want to do with the rest of our lives," she smiled. "Yes I want us to move in together, but let's not rush into making rash decisions. We'll take our time, okay?"

"Oh yes."

And they sealed their promise with another kiss. There were other things to do, but there would always be time for kisses.

They picked up their books and brochures and returned to their research.

She's mine. All mine.

[the hero factor]

Shut up, Randy.

Hee! That was awesome. Strega often said "Shut up, Spike" in the s5 Angel recaps.

We tried to play like her but it messed up our game, it's as hard to lose as to win. Man, chess is hard," Robin laments.

That's just what I thought when Giles played to lose. Good strategy, but I wouldn't have any idea how to go about doing that. I guess if a person really knows chess it's probably easy to lose.

Loved Chris's t-shirts.

it just happens that they started filming SMUT Bunnies: The Movie

When? Where? Gosh, how I wish this were true. Sigh. The Bunny stunt was great, though. Actually, all the stunts were great.

Too bad about TallShort, they were my second faves, after losing the Pirates.

Willow and Tara trying to research the places they may go next, smart move. And them talking about their future, after the race, was sweet.

Oz in monkey pants, I bet he speaks French, cos all monkeys are French, did you know?

Hee! I didn't even think of the connection until I read that. Very funny.

Great update.

[JustSkipIt]

Watson & Carleen (& Chris?) – Gee and I’m thinking how to coordinate with ONE co-writer? Yay for rojak and afterglow and the opposite of afterglow!

First off, I love your Taxi rant because, well I love rants. I’m a frequent and quite annoying ranter (and hopefully funny) so I very much appreciate them.

I don't have Slayer hearing.

Nice.

I'll shut up before Sars gets her lazy ass off her couch and sporks me one. [*I'll do more than spork you, I'll tear your tongue out so you can't speak and have to rely on typing out your words for the rest of your life. Time to learn your emoticons, baby. Love, Sars.*]

Ok, I guess I’ve only been reading TWOP for a season (but three shows: Survivor, TAR, and Apprentice occasionally) but I really thought Sars was a guy?

Hyde Park, mate,

Here Hyde Park is a pricey neighborhood ($350,000 for a 1100 sq. ft 2 bdrm, 1 bath if you’re lucky) or a restaurant with the best fries in town.

sweat can be seen dripping out of his brain

:rofl (see Sars will be happy with me)

I’ve just read the directions for Cricket. Rachel’s new boss is the king of Cricket or something for Austin and he wants more women to play. But I don’t know that Rachel would be up for bowling over maidens or whatever.

I’ve never seen two teams go for a FF simultaneously. Can you even do that?

Riiight, between this coin tossing contraption and the cricket bat, I'm seeing a paddle theme here. Are the Amazing Producers telling us something? Are we moving to BDSM territory soon?

Yes? Please?

He introduces himself as Chris.

Woo hoo! Hi Chris.

"Supergirl and Lara Croft," Willow supplies the answer immediately. Both girls blush. Yeah, me too, when I look back at the comic (what? I have the entire collection too. I'm a geek, sue me) and remember how totally hot the agents are in their disguise. No wonder Taskmaster Chris is drooling at the thought.

I really now can’t wait to see Robin & Faith and Adam & Oz in these costumes.

Heehee, I'm turning into a fanfic writer, somebody give me a smut-filled fic challenge to sink my teeth into!

Yeah. Where do you get a good challenge?

This guy is nuts, but a good sort of nuts.

I love Penelope Pitstop!

Ok, I should finish commenting the episode before the extra I guess. Wow and wow. Man when you come out of writer’s block you really come out. How awesome and hysterical. If you’re right that the funny parts are all Carleen then Awesome job Carleen.

I love the extra even without the smut. How fun that they’re all kind of vague and then suddenly it hits Willow about where to live, etc. Well done.

[justin]

That was a great update.

The detour involving the stunts was really good. Though after Willow and Tara did theirs I did wonder if Oz and Adam were going to be doing the same stunt. Let's just say that it wasn't a pretty mental picture.

But, oh no, TallShort are out. First the pirates are eliminated and now them. This is very depressing.

While I know that the producers are setting up the goldies to be the villains, they're probably editting out all the time that Riley spends playing with kittens, kissing babies and helping grannies across the street, I won't be happy if they win.

The extra was good in a cute sort of way. It's good to see them planning their future together, and being smart enough to research where they may be going next.

[Artemis]

Well firstly, I think Watson's given me a bit too much credit for 'planning' on this episode - I suggested a couple of things, that's all. The chess game, the Opera House, cricket, Harry's, and the Smut Bunnies task (I just suggested a Matrix stunt task) all came as a surprise to me. Huge credit to Watson and Carleen for all of that Especially because this was a really good leg of the Race - even aside from the yay factor of seeing my home town get its own episode, I loved this episode for its showmanship and variety. Part of what I love about TAR is the vicarious fun of seeing (hopefully) agreeable everyday people getting to do memorable things and having fun doing them. It's something that waxes and wanes in the real show, but this episode of the Kitten Race had it in spades.

And thanks for the free exposure for the Bunnies (exposed Bunnies, heh). The scene the Lovebirds filmed will be in the next chapter (right down to the hair toss ).

As always, great Recap Fu, lots of laugh-out-loud moments: "Are they, like, planning to run to Sydney?", "Minds of steel?", "Like, what's the opposite of afterglow?" (I think it'd be 'insteadofglow', the frustrated look you get when you've been fuming to yourself instead of getting any action), "And on behalf of the residents of Brisbane, heck, the residents of Queensland, I slap him one. Rural? That's so patronizing." (it is - you have to live in NSW to be patronising towards Queensland. They're like a sibling - we give 'em hell, but no-one else is allowed to pick on them), ""Hyde Park, mate," Randy grins as he replies with an atrocious Aussie accent. It's like his jaw is stuck from too much cheek sucking." "Buffy, who has decided to do a Hayden impression today with the skimpy strap top and no bra" (at least Hayden was considerate enough to bring along something for people to focus on instead of her personality), "call the Society Against Cruelty to Maidens and Boundaries", "Riley is clearly out of his league, he takes his sweet time before each move, sweat can be seen dripping out of his brain", "Randy is still trying to get his maiden" (you're in the wrong place, she's off playing two-up), - you know, I'm going to end up just quoting the whole recap. It was great.

And oh man, me... Can I publicly disown the 'objects' shirt? Watson let me see the first draft of the episode early to check I was okay with how I looked in it, but it was too darned funny for me to object to, even though I'm way too self-conscious to wear anything like that. She's probably right about the drooling though - I'd like to think that I could maintain an impeccable professional facade in the face of Willow and Tara dressed as superheroines, but who am I kidding? They're hot. What's better, a kiss from Faith, or being called 'sweet' by Tara? I'm still trying to decide

Adam and Oz got in some great lines - I'm a recognised master of the deadpan joke, but I'd still have a lot of trouble doing that "It doesn't make my butt look big?" line without smiling. I'm going to miss those guys. "I have Tarzan and Jane playing in a loop inside my head" - thanks for linking to the MP3, now I've got it stuck in my head as well. Ah, Aqua - musical junk food. No doubt bad for you, but it tastes so good...

Speaking of 'tastes good', hoo boy, I need a Harry's hod dog right now. Kittens, if you're ever in Sydney, get yourself one of their hot dogs. I can see how Willow wouldn't have too much trouble with the pies though, they're darned good, especially if she'd built up a nice appetite already. Hopefully the ferry ride over to Taronga wasn't too rough, she'd be feeling a bit stuffed later on.

That extra task to the pitstop was great - like I said to Watson earlier, I've been in the audience for the bird shows they do at Taronga, and having a bird with a wingspan greater than my own height go about thirty centimetres overhead is pretty awesome. That's a memory that'll last for all the racers, I'm sure.

Sad to see Adam and Oz leave the race - they were good guys, behaved well, enjoyed themselves without making a fuss... in the end, the only thing they did wrong (aside from the obvious, going for the Fast Forward when Rupert and Randy had a really good chance to finish before they did) was not lifting their game in these final stages of the race, where 'good enough' isn't good enough to reach the next leg anymore.

The Extra was lovely, I thought it really summed up the Lovebirds all at once - they take the race seriously, they take care of each other, and they take time to have fun. Tara wondering if Willow was ready for 'honeymoon' was sweet, as was Willow's hyper-enthusiasm once she'd been relieved of her worry of scaring Tara off.

Looking ahead, pork dumplings suggest to me that it's back to Asia, though I'm too culturally inept to guess where exactly. I'm hopeful that it'll drive Riley nuts though - somewhere like Japan, with its crowds and unfamiliar (to the Racers) culture and language, as Tara says it's so unlike the European-descended culture and language they're used to as to be alien - a fascinating experience if you approach it with the right attitude, but I bet Riley'd find it completely incomprehensible, and explode in frustration at his own inability to figure out what to do. I'm glad there'll be cameras along for that And a hint of friction between Rupert and Randy? There's not much room for mistakes at this stage.

My Final Three prediction, using a variant of the Highly Scientific Wild Guesswork (HSWG) I've been developing for Survivor Ash Island: Lovebirds, followed by Efficiency and R.Randy, with the Goldies last seen entering the Tokyo subway under the misapprehension that Oahu is two stops past Osaka. Lots of incomprehensible calculations were involved, made even more erratic by the fact that it's about ten years since I last studied stats. I tried to create a representative mean value for the teams' performances, taking into account weighted values for the dropping number of competitors as the race went on - however, I may have got something backwards and been pulling numbers out of a hat. I think there may have been an algebraic variable for 'whimsy' in there somewhere. But to sum up:

Lovebirds: No real weaknesses. They're supporting each other, doing their homework between legs, approaching events with a minimum of frustration, and have a history of smart racing. HSWG rating (lower is better): 0.3596, 1st place. And frankly, whether they reach the finish line in first place, or if they're shipped in as part of the Philiminated teams lineup to greet the winners, the Lovebirds are going to be smiling. That's the important thing.

Efficiency: A good mix of skills, and seem to be approaching things with a positive attitude. I don't see them making mistakes, however I don't think they can quite match the Lovebirds' advantage-grabbing. HSWG rating: 0.4149, 2nd place.

R.Randy: Possible tension in their immediate future aside, they do well - they've been approaching tasks intelligently, and bring a fair mix of skills. They're riding high on what was essentially taking advantage of luck, though - any team could've got to the chess game first, and thus got to the Fast Forward first and leapfrogged the rest of the field. I wonder if they'll be disadvantaged by false confidence? HSWG rating: 0.4394, 3rd place.

Goldies: Good abilities, but bad attitude - if they hit a setback, or a task that needs skills they don't inherently have, they could implode, big time. HSWG rating: 0.5887, 4th place.

Great work, really great

[cooper]

There's a Smut Bunnies Comic!!! I must go buy one right now. They are sold at the Artemis store right? Chris might be holding out on all of us.

Watson,
This was great. Not only was there a Smut Bunnies cameo, but so much of it was hysterical. TallShort was probably the funniest they have been and I was so sad to see them go, but we have to keep Riley around so there is someone to hate right.

So we have our final four. Will there only be one more episode or how will the break down be? Also, will we know by the end where W/T are ending up as far as living? I am not thinking this will show life after the show unless its in an epilogue

cooper

[vix84]

*sighs happily*

Such a great update, Watson.

I've been trying to catch up with this fic and I'm quite behind, but when I heard that this update was set in Sydney (where I live) I couldn't resist reading ahead.

The scene with Willow and Tara at the hotel was perfect! The dialogue in that scene is perfect and swoon worthy. *swoons to prove a point*

I was amused and pleased to see some typical Sydney sights like Harry's. When I saw the name Harry's I immediately wondered if you were talking about the cafe and you did. Good on ya! Jewish Willow and vegetarian Tara rejecting pork pies? Priceless!

I couldn't help snickering at the Americans all trying to pronounce Woolloomooloo. Funny stuff. Good tip for pronouncing/remembering the word? Say to yourself Sheep Toilet Cow Toilet. Wool Loo Moo Loo. (Knowing that a toilet = loo here helps, lol).

Heh I also loved all the T-shirt slogans.

I'm excited to go back and read old updates. Thanks!

[Dazed and Confused83]

I just discovered this story today and read the entire thing! I think it's wonderfully addicting, and I'm thoroughly enjoying watching Willow and Tara fall head-over-heels in love. I can't wait to read the next installment.

Thanks for a great story!

-Tiffany

[ringwaldoeuvre]

Your mention of Sars prompted me to go and read lots and lots of http://www.tomatonation.com. It's been a while since the days when I first discovered Sarah D, and I really think my life has ascended to a new level. I have two words: that guy.

As if it weren't hard enough to write all my comments in recap form, I am considering writing TWoP-esque polls. Here's my attempt for this chapter:

If Willow and Tara had not dressed up as Lara Croft and Supergirl, how would they have dressed?
(a) Bonnie and Clyde. Ties are sexy.
(b) Batman and Cat Woman. That's why god invented leather.
(c) Um, a sweaty Lara Croft and Supergirl?
(d) Blah-blah-blah-Girl-Scout-cakes.
(e) And by "dressed" do you mean "naked?"
(f) Sorry, what was that? I was busy drooling ab- I mean, thinking about Faith.

Seriously, I've greatly enjoyed reading the last two chapters. Nice development with W/T. And, I assume you are keeping Buffy and Riley on to make their loss that much more special. If Riley doesn't get kicked off in Urdu, can you use one of those jumbo-trons, like in a big hockey arena?

[meretricious]

watson, i was so psyched when you got this updated before i left last week, cause i know that was the goal, right? ok, happy coincidence then, but i'll take it.
and i still maintain w/t could've had sex and named constellaitions, they're not mutually exclusive ya know.
so, so many lol funny things in this update, as in all your others, but this time i actually had smile face cheek pain, so if i started quoting them all i would never stop. adam saying they needed to "look sharp" got me singing joe jackson songs and putting adam in a skinny 80's tie, which had me laughing all on my own. i'm gonna miss the tall/short, so much.
love that giles not only figured out losing at chess was the best policy, but actually had a technique to do it, makes me rethink his team's chances as long as the challenges don't get too physical.
riley, what a complete moron. everytime he opens his mouth, want to just bop him one. and even while he's totally f'ing up his chess strategy, i knew you weren't going to let him lose yet, cause then we lose the jerk drama. bugger. loved willow's homer simpson vs. yoda rant, good for her
glad you didn't send buffy and riley to the stunt, don't even want to see them in costume. great descriptions of the cricket matches, i have no real concept of the game and was still able to follow it easily.
willow/tara and faith/robin 's costumes? dayum, i don't have words for that. lucky, lucky chris. so glad chris is putting this in his next smut bunny update, go you for inspiring him. and oz, when i saw the title of this update, just knew it was going to be buffy worrying about something, totally lost it when it was oz. i did mention i'm gonna miss those two, right?
and the extra, very sweet, reminds me a little of debra's after game updates, giving us a glimpse of the future there, absolutely lovely how they're growing together.
k, really have much more to say but it looks like i have to do my job a little. darn. btw, last update i gave you a haiku to bunching, which will prob be the only creative writing i ever do on this board, and you didn't even mention it. but you send me cool music, (and make me laugh til it hurts) so i forgive you. ~mary

[tarawhipped]

Watson, it's so hard to leave feedback for this fic cause there's just so damn much going on, and so many wonderful lines, descriptions, and snarky goodness...and you say you can't write funny! There were SO many laugh-out-loud moments for me. To pick a few:

what's the opposite of afterglow? Beforeglow? Riley induced stupor?

I'm sorry to see Adam and Oz go before Buffy and Riley, but it's comments like these that make me understand the comedic value of keeping the big doof around.

Palindrome Banker

Okay, so it took me a second reading, but I got it! hehehe

ditching one rich, hot babe for another isn't loose, it's practical

Ooooh!!! Adam channelling Anya---brilliant!

She chases after it, but it's elusive, like Riley's one brain cell

Buffy is too busy tossing to notice

Is it just me, or was that a naughty little British double entendre???

I love that the Lovebirds, while still being competitive, aren't making idiotic statements like "minds of steel" and "we're the team to beat." Or if they are, you aren't showing it. I prefer to think that while the other teams are being arrogant, Team Lesbian Hotties is just quietly running its race and enjoying themselves. I'm still expecting Rupert and Randy to implode at some point, and Buffy and Riley's luck HAS to run out soon...right???

The extra was lovely...perfect time for a heart-to-heart and planning their future together. *sigh* Excellent work, my friend....or friends, I should say...go watson and Car!!!

-Cam

[Graceland]

I decided to delurk because that was one of the funniest episode of a reality TV show I have ever seen. I watch reality TV programs but I've never felt so strongly about certain teams. Usually I'm turned off by the nastiness of the people in reality TV but this is different. Between The Amazing Race and Survivor I feel like I'm spoiled.

Thank you for sharing!

[blue eyed girl]

Another one of my favorite teams is gone. I keep hoping for either the Goldies or R.Randy to be Philiminated. The Goldies for the obvious reason that Riley is a jerk and R.Randy because I never really liked Spike/Randy character on the show.

This update had some really great moments in it. I loved your rant about people yelling for Taxis. I couldn't agree with you more. And the costumes in the detour were perfect. I loved how you used SMUT Bunnies as the costumes for W/T. It was a nice inside joke. And Oz in his monkey pants was great too. Although I didn't originally get the joke until I got to the Extra at the end. I guess I am a little slow today. But I laughed when I read the line about him talking French. I also like the line about the toaster oven in the extra. Were you referencing Debra's Season 3 Y'all Story with that? I can't seem to remember it coming from anywhere else.

I also liked Willow and Tara's conversation about the future in the extra. It was nice to see that they are talking about it. Of course all of us readers know that they are going to spend forever together but it is still nice to see what they are planning.

Thanks for this great fic!!!