Continuing Fic: Coming Back (Updated 01/18/08)

[Drut]

Awww wow, this fic is klass! 2 months left then they can see each other and be happy (hopefully), coz so far 5 of the 7 chapters made me bawl my eyes out! I'm too much of a softie!
lovin' it

[watty]

Why haven't I left feedback before? Why am I slacking off? I dunno. I really don't know.

I don't like this update? NO! Nothing further from the truth. It's just a little harder to leave fb that is more objective, you know what I mean?

Having been intimately involved from the first greeting in the first letter from Willow, I've been in awe of how easily you write the girls. How easy you've skipped months and years, yet it feels like we never left, that our brief glimpses into their respective lives are as vivid to us as they are to them. That, my friend, is the art of Show, not Tell taken to a masterful level. You don't need me as beta, cos your work comes to me and it's 99.9% perfect anyway, but I'm glad you let me stick around, hang on your coat-tails, cos I'm learning a lot from you as well. [** despite our frequent joking around and sarcastic ribbing, I do have a serious side and that is the one making these really sincere remarks, so no snarking, okay? **]

About the format, it's brilliant. Letters growing into emails, and the sense of fun I had when you said, "go into Willow's email and read the mail from Tara." It was like I was there! It adds to the enjoyment and sheer delight in reading this story.

I can't join in the "surprise then realization" about the 9/11 email, cos I was in the know, but it again showed your care in making sure the dates are right, and how realistic Tara's panicky reaction was.

All the correspondences are stunning. But if I have to pick a favorite, it's Tara's pre-Thanksgiving 2001 email. I love the feel of that email, of a Tara who is feeling the after effects of the tragedy while being far away from home, of her being introspective, and of course of how much she is missing Willow. (it's not cos of the desensitizing paragraph, it's the whole email.)

It's late, but I'm not tired.

Shades of forlornness and loneliness there. Such a simple sentence that says such a lot. Then

I'll put in the CD you made for me and lose myself in my paints. That CD always makes me think of you...and thinking of you gives me inspiration.

is the longing. If the tooth fairy showed up at her side there and then and said she could have a wish, I have no doubt that she'd say "be with Willow" without even thinking, the sense of missing Willow was so palpable.

And then comes the Spring 2003 emails. I love how the pace picked up, from the first

Tara, are you screwing around with my mind?

how quickly things gathered speed and started hurtling faster and faster, like a runaway train. Our emotions, Willow's emotions, Tara's emotions (though we don't see them) moved so fast and all of a sudden, things ground to a halt cos of the fight. Poor Willow, I so feel for her, with the begging and the guilt. Love how you showed (not told) Tara's side too. It'll be interesting to read a more detailed account of the fight later, perhaps it'll be later?

There is so much I want to mention that deserves praise, like the entire exchange with Buffy that is so sweet; the "mysterious magic" that Willow and Buffy produced; Donnie's cameo that is so typical of a loving sibling ... but it's 1.45am and I want to get up early to talk to you when you come back, so I'll finish with a thank you. Thanks for bringing this story into my life, its riches are unmatched.

p.s. we have to do that IM sometime this week, no?
[br]

[Graceland]

It's a little like watching a trainwreck. I mean we're reading these fantastic letters and notes and e-mails and the girls are getting closer and more and more intimate. And standing at the side of our vision is a sign reminding us that they haven't spoken in a year. And a big question mark: why? or more accurately why not?

These letters are fantastic. I feel that we've seen the girls grow into women. The only aspect missing is any discussion of romance. I mean we have the mention of Buffy's love life but nothing from the girls. That's a bit strange. I mean we know they belong together but I'm not 100% sure that they do (or at least that Tara does). But they never mention a date. They never even mention going to a party with friends (except prom). This causes me to think that all the other people at MIT and Oxford (or wherever Tara is) are blind. Cause have you seen them? I mean you'd expect one of them to at least mention that they got asked out and shot the asker down.

Potential Suitor: "Um, Tara? Uh well I just kind of wondered if you might uh you know like to like get coffee or something with like me on Friday? Cause I think you're really like special and beautiful and you know?"

Tara: "Ah [insert potential suitor's name here] that's really sweet but I have a girlfriend in America and we have a date scheduled for 2005 and I need to take a shower Friday night to get ready."

But the fight. I'm thinking there are a few possible reasons:

1. Tara had a date and Willow blew up.
2. Vice versa
3. Tara had to cancel the trip and Willow said stupid things.
4. Willow said stupid things because she had encephalitis and swolen brains are not good for romance.
5. Other

I'm leaning toward either #3 or #5 but at least I'll know I'm right. Have a great day. Grace.

[the hero factor]

Great update.

I like how you put some correspondense between Tara and Buffy in there. I always like it when they are friends in fic.

Lots of unanswered questions here. Well, two, anyway. What is the 'magic' Buffy and Will are talking about? And more importantly, WHAT was the fight about!?

Can't wait for more.

[tarawhipped]

Wow! Great update. Love the emails!

-Cam

[strangerhere]

Carleen-

Lemme just say, I am terribly picky about what fic I will read, and even moreso about what AU fic i will read...and you have me hooked. I crashed through it all in one sitting over on Chris' site and was just enamored. As to your most recent additions, I have to quote some earlier feedback:

It's a little like watching a trainwreck.

But then there was that little, elegantly simple postcard from Tara. I can't wait to see this all fleshed out. I am not sure what the fight was over, but I dont think that it had ocurred to me that it could have been a date. I thought perhaps one came out to the other... but then some of your other readers set my wheels to spinning. Obviously, for one reason or another, the trip was cancelled, but I think the real issue is why. Can't wait to read more...

ash

ETA: I still hate ez codes.

[GayNow]

Hello, my lovely Kittens! Again, you overwhelm me with your feedback. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my frustrating little story.

I'm sorry this isn't an update...that will be around Friday or Saturday. But I wanted to get some of these replies out of the way so can just get right to it when it's time to post the next chapter. I will begin with some general comments, and then move on to individual replies.
[hr]

• Tara never made it to Boston to visit Willow. They had their disagreement prior to the trip. The emails about the trip were in April. Buffy mentioned having 3 months to decide what Willow would wear. That would put the time of the visit in July. The disagreement was in June.
• Willow graduated with her undergraduate degree in December, 2002. She graduated with her graduate degree in December, 2003. (See email dated 2 Aug, 2002.) Following graduation, she moved to Los Angeles. So she would not be in Boston at the time she received the postcard.
• Email addresses for Willow, Tara and Buffy are real. They work. The exception is Tara's school address at Slade...I couldn't quite finagle that one.
• The next update will find Willow and Tara at the tree, at the same time. They will see each other. The will speak to each other. They will even smile at each other.
• No, I will not tell you what the disagreement was about. You'll have to wait....for a few chapters. It will not be revealed in the upcoming chapters. As I've said before, I am not a linear person. So I will be jumping around using flashbacks and their diaries to tell more of the story.
• Do you really want to know about the disagreement? I can be bought, ya know? All it takes is for you to pay off my student loans, buy me a new car, and convince Amber, Eliza or Renee O'Connor to serve as my willing sex slave. Easy schmeasy.

On to individual replies…
[hr]
SallyMcFine

[blockquote]Thanks so much for your feedback, Sally. I really appreciate the time you (and your partner) spend reading my story.

I'm glad you like the format of the chapters. I really wanted to fill in their 8 years apart without turning it into 10 pages of boring exposition...not that exposition is boring in general, but I know MY exposition would be excruciatingly boring. So, I'm glad that worked.

I'm sorry the 9/11 emails brought up memories you'd probably sooner forget. But, at the same time, I'm glad there was something in the chapter that resonated with your life. I'm a firm believer in interacting experientially with literature.

Also glad you like the postcard. Thanks to WATSON for putting that together for me. As for your speculations, I'll quote one of my favorite authors: "good guesses."

Thanks, Sally! [/blockquote]

hermitfish

[blockquote]Yay! Another resonating moment! "Movie Musicals" and "English Lit: Romantic Era - Present" kept me sane my senior year in college.

Thanks for keeping up with the story and for your kind words, Cyd. I'm very appreciative.[/blockquote]

Still Waters T

[blockquote]Thank you, Liv! Such kind words from you.

As I've mentioned before, I'm so glad you and others are able to relate to various parts of the story. It makes me feel as if I've done something right.

what the heck happened when Tara visited?!"

Tara never got there. The disagreement happened prior to her scheduled trip.

Thanks, again, Liv! [/blockquote]

LesbianJedi87

[blockquote]Wow! That's a lot of wows! Thanks, Rose. Glad you're still reading. Don't worry...everything will be okay in the end. Please, no more cell phones thrown at me, okay? [/blockquote]

TheRose24
[blockquote]

Hey! You can't do that!

Actually...yes, I can.

I wonder if they even realize how in love they are.

Time will tell.

Thanks for sticking with my story! [/blockquote]

Naeryn
[blockquote]

Imma go to Boston, and then to England, and bitchslap 'em both until they get the hell over it!

Well, you can't do that, but you can email them and give them a piece of your mind.

Please don't whore, Megan. It's so unbecoming. There will be an update at the end of the week.

Thanks for your very passionate feedback. [/blockquote]

Wimpy0729

[blockquote]WOOT! Lookie who popped into my thread! (So much better than pooping into my thread, so I thank you for that.) 'Bout time!

Glad you're enjoying it so far, Pam. Let me know when you get caught up so I can get more feedback from you. [/blockquote]

YMKA

[blockquote]Thanks, again, Marina! More about the disagreement will be revealed in future updates. You'll probably even get to read the entire conversation. So stay tuned! [/blockquote]

sam

[blockquote]I'm okay, sam, thanks. Glad you're still reading along. [/blockquote]

Willow~Rosenberg

[blockquote]Happy to know you're still reading along and that it touched some part of your own experience. Thanks so much! [/blockquote]

meretricious

[blockquote]Mary, your feedback is always such a joy to read. So I say, “Thank you for the music, the songs you’re singing; thanks for all the joy they’re bringing. Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty, what would life be?”

Good guesses on the reason behind the disagreement. All will be revealed before the story is over. I felt that I had to have Buffy and Tara “meet”, as it were, through emails. Buffy mentioned to Xander that Willow would sometimes let her write notes in the margins of letters to Tara, so it seemed natural to have Buffy email Tara. They share a common denominator in Willow, so that is enough to bring them together as friends.

Yes, the disagreement is the storm, but the postcard is the light. [**groan**] We’ve known from the beginning of the story that they haven’t seen each other in 8 years, so I guess the planned visit was a set up…sorry about that, Kittens. But, we also know that Tara is on her way to see Willow. So, the set up couldn’t have been that bad, right?

of course, i think you can tell in my fb what you've done to my 70's damaged mind. now i see them running toward each other in slo mo, arms outstretched to meet in a perfect hug under the tree as the music swells and they spin in a joyous circle just as mm hits the line "how it feels to touch you". you know i had to order that song from itunes so i could listen to it 3 times and purge it from my mind, right? the only thing scarier than that, is that lynn-holly johnson has an official website

All of that just frightens me.

Thanks, Mary! You’re one of the good apples in the bushel! (And I know NOTHING about Mary’s core, people! So stop with the rumors!) [/blockquote]

Kaia
[blockquote]

All I wanted to do was click on Tara's email addie link and send her a loooong email with 452356 reasons why she shouldn't be angry at Willow and why she should pay her a surprise visit

Well, why didn’t you? It’s a live email address. You had the chance to vent.

Thanks so much for your continued support of my story and kind wishes for my health. I really appreciate it. [/blockquote]

terra21

[blockquote]The raunchiest thing you’ve seen on Pens in days, huh? My job here is done.

But, um, yours isn’t…..

I’ll be back later to give real feedback

Thanks, T! [/blockquote]

singgirl

[blockquote]:lmao Oh, that’s funny…tell you what happened.

I will tell everyone…a few updates from now.

Thanks so much for continuing to read. I know it’s frustrating, but take solace in the fact that you know Willow and Tara are both eagerly heading toward that tree right now. [/blockquote]

grimlock72

[blockquote]

I frowned when reading the adress on that postcard, Willow isn't in LA at the end of that chapter is she? MIT is in Boston and Willow still needs to graduate right?

Please see the general comments at the top of this post. Willow is finished with school.

I like how Tara has a fully functional and loving familly. Even though Willow's parents do spend time with her I still can't see them as good parents. I'm old-fashioned that way but I think at least one parent should be around more when raising kids

As a child of parents who both worked full-time jobs, I was considered a “latch-key kid” from the time I was about 10 years old. And with my father in the Navy, going off on WestPac about 3 times a year, I didn’t have the pleasure of having my parents consistently available for various activities in which I was involved. However, I don’t believe I was raised poorly. Quality over quantity was the backbone of my childhood. They were both at the really important stuff…Senior play, All-star softball games, and college (my mother really did walk me to and from class), Family weekend, etc. My parents were good at what they did, and I was proud of them. So I guess there’s a little of me in Willow in this chapter.

We need lots more info on the entire two weeks Tara spend with Willow. All we know is Willow very happilly announced it in april and then in june it appearantly had all gone to hell. Surely she mailed Buffy a couple of times for help with clothing ??

Again, see the general comments at the top of the post. Remember that you aren’t seeing ALL of the correspondence that took place during their years apart. Obviously, there are letters and emails that the readers of this story are not privy too. I, as the author, however, know all about them. And I know when they will appear in the story. More will be told…gaps will be closed…questions will be answered. In time.

It’s fairly obvious they need to talk (as in person-to –person face-to-face talk) about some issues. Now can we pleeeeeeeease know what those issues are already??

Yes, that’s very true. They do need to talk about some issues. And they shall, never fear. They will have lots and lots of chances to talk and learn more about their connection to each other during those conversations. Trust me, more will be revealed. If I told you everything in one update, I wouldn’t have anything left to keep you coming back for more.

Update on Tara's mother medical status would be nice to, I'm not to sure about it.

As Tara has mentioned in many of her letters and emails, her mother is doing well.

Thanks for reading, Grimmy! I’m glad you’re along for the ride. [/blockquote]

Miss Kitty’s Ball O Yarn

[blockquote]Thank you, Emmy! I’m so glad you liked the chapter. I have the ability to make the situations real? Wow. Go me! You saying that makes me feel all mushy inside…cuz you know how I feel about YOUR writing.

Glad you thought the dream and the stuff about Tara wanting to call but knowing she couldn’t was romantic. I was trying to go for an innocent sort of romantic feel there. Seems like it worked a bit.

Thanks, again, Emmy! [/blockquote]

eirnlove

[blockquote]

mg! what pissed Tara off so much?!!

btw, we've a goof there there were no @gmail in 2001

More will be revealed in future chapters RE: Tara’s reason for being upset. As for no gmail in 2001…yeah, I know. I just wanted to play with a gmail account before I decided if I wanted one for myself or not. So, I gave one to Willow so that I could test it out and poke around. I’m less worried about the particular type of email and more about what is being said in the emails. **shrug** An acknowledged inconsistency. Good eye, though! Kudos to you!

Thanks for keeping up with the story. I appreciate it. [/blockquote]

kindagay

[blockquote]

You're kind of evil, giving us teeny tiny teasy snippets of occurring events but not even hinting at the full picture - yep evil, but, evil's.... good

hehe. Yeah…I know.

What was the campaign? What 'magic' did Willow work? Why are you such a tease? I'm mega-curious about why Tara was pissed off? What did Willow do / say?

In order: You’ll find out in another update. You’ll find out in another update. Because I’m good at it. You’ll find out in another update.

I couldn't help wonder, why Buffy was using Tara's 'yourtarababe' email address? That address was, obviously, set up with Willow in mind, & it felt like it should have been a kinda, private, just for Willow & Tara address, so, for Buffy to send an email there just seemed, a little, wrong, to me anyway.

Okay, you make a good point. But, lemme ‘splain. Tara is no Willow when it comes to technology and computer literacy. The fact that she had TWO email addresses was pushing it for me. I could easily see Willow having gmail, yahoo, hotmail, excite, lycos, and every other email you could think of. And she would be able to easily handle keeping track of each and every one of them. Tara, on the other hand, not so much. So, I imagine her using the Slade (school) address for strictly school related things…from professors and students in study groups. The yahoo address would be for everything else. Plus, I could easily see Willow sending an email to both Tara and Buffy. Thus, Buffy would see the address that Willow uses to email Tara. And that would be the one Buffy would put in her address book and use. And Tara is very aware that Buffy has seen many of the letters she and Willow wrote over the years – she wrote in the margins of a lot of them. So, she knows Buffy is aware of Willow’s terms of endearment for her. After all, Buffy sends email to the WillowyWill address, and that’s Tara’s term of endearment for Will. Hope that shows you some of my logic.

So, I picked you up, put you in my pocket, and carried you with me all day, Willow. It was a good day.

Now don't get me wrong, the whole dream & what Tara's mom told her was extremely sweet, but that line, that was just about the most adorable thing I have ever read

Aaawww thanks, Jeanne. I’m glad you liked that. I did too.

Oh, Buffy does know how Willow feels about Tara...
Which of course, means that Willow is aware of her own feelings for Tara, which is good.

More about all of that in later updates.

Thank you so much for all of your wonderfully insightful feedback, Jeanne. I’m so glad that you’re enjoying the story. [/blockquote]

JustSkipIt

[blockquote]Oh My Giddy Aunt, Debra! You’ve left me nearly speechless. (Not completely speechless, cuz that’s just not possible for me.) What wonderfully thought out feedback. I truly don’t have the words to respond. All I can think is, “Debra, one of my favorite all-time authors, just said, ‘Go, Car!’” And that is overwhelming.

Thank you. So much. So very much.

Ok, now that your elbow and computer are on the mend, I expect frequent and long updates. I’d say every 3-4 days would be fine with me but more often would be nice too.

Um….I’ll do what I can, Debra. Can’t guarantee the 3-4 days, but I’ll try to make sure it’s not 3-4 weeks.

Thank you, again, Debra. I’m in awe. [/blockquote]

Tarababy77

[blockquote]Thanks so much for your kind words, Aaron. I’m glad the story is continuing to hold your interest. The next chapter needs some edits and additions, and then it needs to go through the beta process again. It should be up by Friday night or Saturday afternoon. [/blockquote]

Drut

[blockquote]Thank you! I’m glad you found the fic and that you’re enjoying it. I’m sorry it made you cry so much, but I guess that means it touched you in some way. And for that, I’m not sorry. Thank you, again. [/blockquote]

watson

[blockquote]

You don't need me as beta, cos your work comes to me and it's 99.9% perfect anyway, but I'm glad you let me stick around, hang on your coat-tails, cos I'm learning a lot from you as well. [** despite our frequent joking around and sarcastic ribbing, I do have a serious side and that is the one making these really sincere remarks, so no snarking, okay? **]

1. Me not needing you as beta is a big pile of cow poopy! You’ve helped me structure the story. You’ve helped me with dialogue. You’ve helped point me in the right direction…or at least better directions than I was heading. And you continue to give me encouragement. I would never have even posted any of this if you hadn’t given me the nudge to write up one of my ideas rather than handing them all over to you. So there! 2. Get off my coat-tails! It’s hard enough hanging on to yours without you getting us all tangled up hanging on to mine. 3. But I’m so GOOD at snarking! **whines** 4. I love you, too, watty.

All the correspondences are stunning. But if I have to pick a favorite, it's Tara's pre-Thanksgiving 2001 email. I love the feel of that email, of a Tara who is feeling the after effects of the tragedy while being far away from home, of her being introspective, and of course of how much she is missing Willow. (it's not cos of the desensitizing paragraph, it's the whole email.)

Thanks, friend. That was the hardest of the emails for me to write, actually. I only had my own reaction to the events to work from – alone in the middle of nowhere Michigan knowing that friends of mine were in Manhattan and DC at the time. So, Tara’s thoughts and feelings about the events were a little foreign to me (pardon the semi-pun) since she experienced them from outside the United States. Thank you for helping me with that. I appreciate it.

how quickly things gathered speed and started hurtling faster and faster, like a runaway train. Our emotions, Willow's emotions, Tara's emotions (though we don't see them) moved so fast and all of a sudden, things ground to a halt cos of the fight.

I’m glad that came across. My experience has always been that when things start going in a not-so-fun direction, they tend to go fast.

Thank you, again, watson. Your influence on this story shows in just about every paragraph. I know it wouldn’t be half the story it is without you. You’re a gem.

P.S. Yeah, we’ll do the IM sometime soon. [/blockquote]

Graceland

[blockquote]Thanks, Grace. You know, sometimes writing this feels like a trainwreck…but then watty kicks me in the ass and helps me sort everything out and get back on track.

But they never mention a date. They never even mention going to a party with friends (except prom). This causes me to think that all the other people at MIT and Oxford (or wherever Tara is) are blind. Cause have you seen them? I mean you'd expect one of them to at least mention that they got asked out and shot the asker down.

Tara is attending The Slade School of Fine Art. And, you’re right. Neither mentions going on dates or out with friends, etc. in the letters we’ve seen in the past chapters. However, that doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened. Remember, they are each keeping diaries that give the daily blow-by-blow accounts of their lives. And there are letters, emails and instant message sessions that have not been seen….yet. There is still much to learn about Willow and Tara, and what happened during their 8 years apart. So, stay tuned!

With regard to your list of reasons for the disagreement: 1) Encephalitis? 2) Good guesses!

So glad you’re keeping up with the story and continuing to enjoy it. Thanks again! [/blockquote]

the hero factor

[blockquote]

What is the 'magic' Buffy and Will are talking about? And more importantly, WHAT was the fight about!?

Those are the questions of the hour! Well, more will be revealed in future updates. Keep an eye out.

Thanks so much! Glad you’re enjoying the story. [/blockquote]

tarawhipped

[blockquote]Glad you liked it…ya dork!

I wuv woo!!!! [/blockquote]

strangerhere

[blockquote]

Lemme just say, I am terribly picky about what fic I will read, and even moreso about what AU fic i will read...and you have me hooked.

Aaawww, Ash! That just makes me all tingly inside…thank you!

elegantly simple postcard from Tara.

What a wonderful compliment, Ash! Thanks again. I have to give watson the credit for creating the graphic of the postcard though. The idea was mine, the creative photoshopping was hers.

Obviously, for one reason or another, the trip was cancelled, but I think the real issue is why.

Very correct…the trip was cancelled. The reason why will come up in a future update.

Thank you so much for reading, Ash. I’m glad you’re enjoying it. [/blockquote]

[Naeryn]

I have to wait until the WEEKEND?! Good God woman, that's just... just... cruel!

I'd report you for cruel and inhuman punishment, but if you got landed in jail it'd take even longer to get the update.

[GayNow]

I don't want to hear about it, Miss "My updates are a week apart and NO I won't post them sooner" -- I think I'm being rather good about updating my little diversion, tyvm.

[Naeryn]

I don't want to hear about it, Miss "My updates are a week apart and NO I won't post them sooner" -- I think I'm being rather good about updating my little diversion, tyvm.

...I freakin' love you, Car. You rock.

[GayNow]

Just wanted to let everyone know that feedback is still welcome and appreciated even though I've posted some replies already. (I'm a feedback whore...I know this.) The next chapter will be this weekend...watson and I just had a long talk about what needs to happen in the chapter, so I know what I need to do to make it work. That's my priority for my daily commute to and from work on the train.

Thank you all once again for the overwhelming response to my first attempt at a fic. I'm so appreciative...you don't even know how warm and tingly you all make me feel inside.

Carleen

[JustSkipIt]

you don't even know how warm and tingly you all make me feel inside.

Carleen

Maybe it's better if we don't know...

[watty]

you don't even know how warm and tingly you all make me feel inside.

Maybe it's better if we don't know...

Oh perish the thought, I can't agree with you more, Elvis. Otherwise she starts comparing us with fruit.

Seriously people, isn't this fic the greatest? Car was like, omg I have 11,300 views! And I was like well 2,000 are yours and 500 are mine. But still awesome, n'est-il pas?

[Artemis]

You evil person of evilness! Here I was, thinking they're on their way to meet, everything's going to be good... and now it's all questions. What happened, what will they do, who said what and why? We know Willow wants to see Tara and Tara wants to see Willow, but obviously there's something between them that they have to deal with face-to-face. In short, great work There's much more now to the finale than 'and they meet again at last'.

I loved the development of their relationship through how they communicate, moving from written letters to email, Tara and Buffy interacting directly (if remotely), Buffy and Willow's emails to each other. And I especially admired how you handled Tara's 'are you okay' email - it was grounding to see the effect of 'nine-eleven', which seems to have almost become a buzzword now, brought back to the most basic truth of it, that loved ones were lost for no reason, and no doubt millions of people, just like Tara, were suddenly and unexpected afraid for those they hold dear.

On a happier note, Watson: great postcard. And a great way to finish off the chapter - no elaborate exposition of what happened, what the issue between Willow and Tara is that's going to be dealt with, just a return to the most basic premise of the story: she's coming back.

[Emms]

This fic is DEFINITLY the greatest.

watson wrote:

Seriously people, isn't this fic the greatest? Car was like, omg I have 11,300 views! And I was like well 2,000 are yours and 500 are mine. But still awesome, n'est-il pas?

xoxo
Emms

[AntigoneUnbound]

Oh Car--you sly, lovely woman...

What in the name of kd lang did Willow do? What did she say? I have various hypotheses but I suspect (indeed, I trust) that your eventual revelation will smoke mine out of the water and yes, I just mixed my metaphors. With a little scotch, actually.

But that has to do with content--the process of your writing is what delights me. I reiterate my love of the fact that you let things emerge. You trust your readers to be of the non-stupid variety; you show us, you don't tell us.

The 9/11 reference was an excellent touch--it placed things in context; it broadened their world and our involvement therein.

I think it takes work to create 3 distinct voices and you do that here. Midway through, I decided to stop looking at the e-mail addresses and see if I could discern their author before any information in the messages gave it away--and I could. That's a testimony to your touch with the specificity of their voices, Car.

I know you've been told this before, but the letter device is just brilliant. It makes us work as readers, b/c we know these two belong together and yet we don't get any omniscient perspective, or even an internal dialogue. We're left to surmise exactly how much Willow understands her feelings, then, when she talks about the prom, and about Buffy's quest for hot boys. Throwing Buffy into the mix plays to that as well because it's the only spot where we see Willow talk about Tara to someone else besides Tara. That little extra bit is invaluable; it serves almost as a tease, certainly, from the way Willow was hyperventilating about Tara's visit.

And how the hell did you pull off that postcard?!? Brilliant, girl! Just one more touch of verisimilitude that puts the reader right in the middle of the story. So good...

So--I shall wait until the weekend and show great resolve and strength in so doing. Because, really--what other option do I have?

I'm so glad you're doing this, Car, and so glad that I found it.

Mary

[GayNow]

A few more replies, Kittens. I'm still plugging away at edits to Chapter 8.
[hr]
Naeryn

Aaawww...I freakin' love you too, Megan.

JustSkipIt

you don't even know how warm and tingly you all make me feel inside.

Carleen

Maybe it's better if we don't know...

Okay...understandable. I'll withhold the details.

watson

Mary (meretricious) is the only fruit...the rest of you can be vegetables, though.

isn't this fic the greatest?

You're sweet, watty...just like creamed corn. (Oh! That's evokes naughty thoughts!)

Artemis

You evil person of evilness!

That's me!

Technically, Chris, they are on their way to meet. But I couldn't keep it that simple, could I? I had to throw in a tinge of angst.

obviously there's something between them that they have to deal with face-to-face.

Oh, definitely! And they shall certainly talk about it. Yes, yes they will.

I'm so glad the letters and emails work. I was a little worried at first. I thought people might be bored by them. But so many kittens mentioned early on that they wanted to read more. Who am I to say 'no'?

Didn't watty do a great job with the postcard?! I love it!

I wanted to show that Tara hadn't cut Willow out of her life. Willow needed to know that their date was still 'on', even though she would have been there anyway -- with or without any message from Tara. The postcard kept it simple for me.

Thanks so much, Chris! Looking Glass looks fabuliscious!

Miss Kittys Ball O Yarn

This fic is DEFINITLY the greatest.

Thanks, Emmy.

AntigoneUnbound

I have various hypotheses but I suspect (indeed, I trust) that your eventual revelation will smoke mine out of the water

Well, I don't know about that. Many of you may find the disagreement -- the reason behind it, the words that were said, etc. -- trite or cliched. I guess we'll find out.

I went through numerous "fight scenarios" in my head and on paper -- mapping them out, creating circumstances and conversations. I talked with watson about most of them. The conclusion I came to is this: It doesn't matter.

Well, it matters in terms of believability. Willow and Tara arguing over whether Tropical Fruit Skittles are better than Original Skittles probably wouldn't fly (would it?). But, really it's not the argument itself that's important as much as how Willow and Tara process the argument. They are going to do some self-analysis, that's for sure.

Midway through, I decided to stop looking at the e-mail addresses and see if I could discern their author before any information in the messages gave it away--and I could.

That's a great compliment, Mary. Thank you! I believe I've read in your posts about "listening to" your characters and then allowing their dialogue to flow. I guess I do a similar type of thing. I map out the general idea of a scene -- I'd like Tara to say something like this and I'd like Willow to talk about that -- and then I close my eyes and "hear" the conversation. And, really, what are letters and emails but sustained conversation? I've mentioned before that I'm a trained actor/performer, so I guess that knack for imitation and channeling characters comes in handy in this context, too.

And how the hell did you pull off that postcard?!?

Idea = mine; PhotoShop skill = watson.

I tried to make the postcard on my own, but I'm not very creative that way. But watty is...and she had a postcard and stamp she could scan and play with. So it worked out nicely. I'm so glad you though it was effective.

Thank you so very much, Mary. Getting this kind of praise from such a great writer is an incredible compliment.

[strangerhere]

Thank you all once again for the overwhelming response to my first attempt at a fic.

You are a first-timer? Well now I am even more impressed than I was before. Your penchant for capturing the characters in their own words seems to be that of a much more experienced writer...many kudos to you!

ash

[vix84]

Howdy, Car.

I want to add to this huge pile of praise that has been placed at your feet.

This update is my favourite so far. The changes in the letters, as the girls go from innocent teens to complex adults, come across so well, but subtly. I, too, loved the 9/11 dramatic touch, and the way your absenses in the letters and story leave us to wonder about what happened between them. This is becoming very suspenseful and is a pleasure to read!

[GayNow]

strangerhere
[blockquote]

Your penchant for capturing the characters in their own words seems to be that of a much more experienced writer

Thanks, Ash. I appreciate that. I owe it all to the wonderul authors on Pens, whose fics I have read over and over again. I've learned from the best.[/blockquote]

vix84

[blockquote]Thank you so much, Roz. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I think this was my favorite chapter, too. But it won't stay my favorite for long. [/blockquote]

[GayNow]

Title: Coming Back
Author: GayNow (Carleen)
Email: cmspry2@gmail.com
Feedback: Pretty please? Just remember, I leave feedback for you! Okay, maybe not for every update....but I try! And...and...I leave novellas. Okay okay....I'll be happy with a smilie face.
Distribution: Archiving is fine…please let me know where so I can call all my friends and yell, “Look! I’m famous!”
Rating: This part…PG…future parts…PG-13…will there be kisses and smut?…hmmm....dunno....we’ll see. I’ll make sure I give fair warning.
Disclaimer: BtVS characters, concepts and dialog belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, The WB, UPN and others. The story, however, came out of my delusional little brain.
Summary: AU....no Hellmouth...no magic....no demons...no slayer....Willow and Tara made a solemn promise to each other 8 years ago.
Author’s Notes:

• This fic was inspired by my own fic challenge (Third Time's a Charm). But...well...it sort of took on a life of its own. So, I decided to give it its own thread. I'm nice that way.
• This is my first attempt at fic writing...or posting what I've written, anyway. And I have all of you wonderful kittens to thank for inspiring me. I'm not going to start listing off all of the individual authors, because that would just take too long. You know who you are...you've read my feedback...it's no secret who I worship.
• I have to give special, super-dee-duper thanks to the lovely WATSON for so many things -- for putting up with me...for painstakingly reading chapters and sections and paragraphs and sentences...for dealing with me obsessing over j-u-u-u-u-u-u-st the right word...for serving as co-writer in many many many instances (if it's a REALLY good sentence or phrase...it's probably hers)...for simply being a friend and encouraging me (Okay...encouraging? She was kicking me in the ass is what she was doing!)
• Thoughts in italics
• Thanks to Chris Cook for the super spectacular title graphic!

******************************

Chapter 8

Tara tapped her fingers on the steering wheel impatiently and glanced down at the speedometer. Why does 67 mph seem so much slower here? She’d been driving for about an hour, but it seemed like much longer. The blonde sighed and reached over to change the radio station.

**click**

“Commercial”

**click**

“Commercial”

**click**

“Stupid DJ banter”

**click**

“Neil Diamond? UGH!”

Tara turned off the radio and returned to tapping the steering wheel. Eventually, she gave in to whining.

“M-o-o-o-o-o-m? Are we there yet?!”

***********************

Willow sipped on her mocha as she ambled down the streets of Sunnydale. She’d been away from her hometown for much of the previous 4 years, only returning a few times to visit when she had a break from school. The redhead sighed as she looked at the familiar surroundings. I’ve really missed this place.

The park came into view as she rounded the corner. Willow carefully examined the area and subconsciously gave a satisfied nod. It really does look good…even better than I expected. She caught the sight of a swing hanging from the large oak in the middle of the park. Our swing. Smiling, she made her way to her favorite childhood spot.[br]
She reached the swing and lovingly ran her hands over the metal seat. She lifted the rectangular seat and turned it over, looking for the familiar marker. There she saw the telltale sign that this was, in fact, their swing. Willow dropped the seat to its normal position. Gingerly sitting on the swing, Willow tested the strength of the ropes. Once she was sure the swing wouldn’t break, she wrapped her arms around the ropes, linking her hands in front of her, and rested her head on the rope to her right. The momentum of the swing caused her to sway in slow, lazy circles. Wow. That was almost 10 years ago.

---

“Donnie! Leave Willow alone and get over here and help me!” Donald Maclay, Sr.’s voice boomed across the grass-covered field.

Some 30 feet away, Donald Maclay, Jr. stood with his left hand on his hip and his right hand on the forehead of a rather agitated 12-year-old redhead. Donnie kept his arm extended and he bent slightly at the waist, keeping his torso and legs just out of the reach of the flailing girl in front of him.

“But, Dad, she’s the one who’s trying to whoop on me! I’m just holding her back…out of self defense!”

The redhead paused her attack for a fraction of a second to give the older – and much larger – boy a heated glare. She quickly resumed her passionate, yet futile, efforts to give Donnie a good old-fashioned whoopin’.

“You picked on Tara and chased her and made her fall! AND YOU LAUGHED! No one picks on Tara and gets away with it!” Willow argued vehemently in defense of her best friend and attempted to kick Donnie’s kneecaps. Before she knew it, Willow found herself flat on her back.

“Whoa there, Pixie! Y’alright?” Donnie reached down to help Willow back to her feet. “Guess your legs aren’t quite long enough, Pixie. It was a good try though.”

Willow’s eyes became small, angry slits as she stared at her tormentor. “I don’t need your help you…you…boy!” Willow spat the rather lackluster insult at Donnie as she swatted his hand away. Standing up quickly, her ego bruised more than her backside, she added, “And don’t call me Pixie!”

Donnie raised his hands in mock surrender and took a step back. “Okay, okay, WIL-LOW!”

The fiery redhead was about to launch into another ill-planned attack on her enemy when she heard the faint sound of whistling coming from behind her. She turned to see Tara walking calmly as she returned from the small stream where she had rinsed off her scraped knee. The young blonde had a bunch of flowers in the crook of one arm. Every now and then, the whistling ceased so that Tara could inhale the sweet scent of the bit of nature she held in her hands. Smiling at the sight of her friend coming toward them, Willow headed in Tara’s direction. A hand on her arm stopped her and she whipped around quickly, prepared to bite the offending appendage off at the wrist.

“Hey, calm down, Pix-,” Donnie stopped short. He could have sworn he saw steam coming from the little redhead’s ears. “Willow. Calm down, Willow. Just hear me out for a second, okay?”

“Make it quick, Goof-boy.” Willow crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Donnie.

“Listen. I didn’t mean for Tara to fall and cut her knee, okay? I…just…” Donnie trailed off, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. Willow cocked her head to one side, a gesture of defiance and challenge. “Yeah, okay, I pick on her! But, I’m her big brother! It’s what I’m supposed to do. Honest, I would never really try to hurt her.”

Willow’s demeanor softened – just a bit – as she peered at the boy before her. “Do you really mean that, Donnie? Or are you just trying to get me to not be mad at you anymore? Cuz if you don’t mean it, I’ll be really mad!”

“I really mean it. I don’t want to hurt her.” Donnie squirmed under Willow’s glare; he was not oblivious to the fact that the girl before him was his sister’s biggest defender, despite her small stature. “Look, don’t ever tell Tara I said this, because I’ll say you’re lying if you do, but, well, I kinda love her.” He looked over to where Tara was still winding her way across the field. “As little sisters go, she’s pretty okay.” His gaze returned to Willow. “Okay?”

Willow dropped her arms to her side and relinquished her defensive stance. After a few moments of staring intently into Donnie’s eyes, she relented. “Okay, Donnie. I believe you. But if you ever even think of hurting Tara, I will tear your eyeballs out and use them for marbles. Got it?” Not waiting for an answer – because, after all, she knew what his answer had to be – Willow turned and ran to Tara’s side.

“Tara!” Willow yelled out to get the blonde’s attention. She reached her friend and gave her a crushing hug. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you? Should we go to the hospital?”

“Willow! I’m fine…except…I can’t breathe.”

Willow pulled away from Tara, loosening her grip on her startled friend. “Oh my God! You do need a hospital! I’ll get your dad!”

For the second time that afternoon, Willow felt a hand stopping her movements. This time, however, the action was accompanied by laughter.

“I don’t need a hospital, Will. You were hugging me so tight I couldn’t breathe.” Tara gave her friend a lop-sided smile.

“Oh…um…sorry.” Willow looked sheepishly at Tara and gave an embarrassed chuckle. “I was just worried. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, Will. It’s just a scratch. That’s what I get for being so clumsy, I guess.”

“No, Tara, it wasn’t your fault!” Willow’s green eyes flared with protectiveness. “Stupid dumb Donnie made you fall. It’s his fault, not yours. I beat him up for you.” Willow stuck out her 12-year-old chest – or what little was there – in pride.

Blue eyes widened and stared at the tiny figure before her. “You did what?” Tara’s gaze sought out Donnie, who was deftly climbing across the branch of the oak tree to tie off the ropes. “He, um, he doesn’t look very beat up, Will.” She gave Willow a teasing smirk.

Willow’s pride-filled chest deflated, though the only true difference in her appearance was the embarrassed expression on her face. “Well…okay…yeah...so maybe I didn’t beat him up. But I sure made him think twice about hurting you again! He won’t be picking on you again any time soon, that’s for sure.”

Tara laughed again, tickled at the adorable actions of her best friend. “Yes he will. It’s what he does, Will. I’d be worried if he didn’t pick on me.”

“What?! You like it when he picks on you and chases you around?”

“I never said I like it. I just expect it. If he weren’t picking on me, I might think he was ignoring me. At least this way, I know I exist…he notices me. And he never really hurts me. I know he’s playing. I’d rather be teased than ignored.” Tara’s smile lasted throughout her speech, her eyes showing a joyful wisdom beyond her years.

Willow, on the other hand, stood dumbstruck, thoughts whizzing through her head. “But, Tara…wouldn’t you like it better if you weren’t teased or ignored? I mean, wouldn’t it be better if he treated you nice, like he should?”

“Geez, Will, what color is the sky in your world?” Tara nudged the redhead and gave her a teasing grin. “That would be too perfect, Will. There’s no such thing as perfect. My family is real, not some family on a stupid TV show.”

Willow noticed that Tara’s expression had turned serious as the blonde idly played with the flowers in her hands, her eyes glossed over as if lost in thought. “Tara? What is it?”

The blonde looked into the green eyes of her friend, her own eyes carrying a sadness that made a shiver run up Willow’s spine. “We’re lucky, Willow. You know that, right?”

“Well, yeah, Tare. I know we’re lucky. We each get to live in a nice house and we have lots of stuff.” The wondering expression never left Willow’s face; her brow furrowed even more as she realized Tara looked even sadder. “Tara, c’mon, what is it?”

Tara sighed and looked at her friend. “It’s not just that, Will. Yeah, we’re lucky to live in nice houses and have nice things. But…think about it, Will…Kim Nelson lives in an even nicer house than either of us. She’s not very lucky though, is she?”

As she thought about their classmate, Willow began to understand what Tara meant. Kim's parents and younger sister had been in a horrible drunk driving accident. Both of her parents had been killed and Marci, her 9-year-old sister, would be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. Their grandparents took the siblings in, but made it clear they were not happy about it. After the funeral, Kim's grandparents hired a live-in nurse and a nanny, and then went on a trip to Europe. Kim and her sister wanted for nothing -- except love.

Willow's eye shimmered, tears threatening to spill, as her gaze shifted from the grass at her feet to Tara and then to Donnie, who was currently hanging from the branch of the tree by his knees, playfully swiping his father's hat as Mr. Maclay passed by.

"I get it, Tare," Willow whispered and turned back to her friend. Looking into Tara's eyes, Willow understood for the first time how lucky she truly was. Grasping Tara's hand in her own, Willow took a deep breath to steady herself. "I get it. We are pretty darned lucky."

Tara gave the redhead's hand a gentle squeeze and smiled. "Very lucky. C'mon. Let's go over and make sure Donnie isn't rigging the swing to be a slingshot."

Both girls giggled and walked toward the large oak tree. "Hey, Tara! Let's invite Kim and her sister on a picnic!" The redhead turned excited eyes toward Tara. "What do you think?"

"That's a great idea, Will. I'll ask Daddy to talk to the nurse and make sure it's okay."

"Cool! I know it won't fix everything, but maybe we can help Kim and Marci have some fun now and then. We can share some of our luck." Willow's enthusiasm to bring a little joy into the lives of others made her skip rather than walk.

"You're a goof, Will," Tara said through her laughter. "I'm glad you're my friend."

"Me too, Tare. I'm glad too."

Don Maclay looked up to see the girls approaching the tree. “There you two are! Tara, how’s your knee?”

"Oh, it’s fine, Daddy. It’s just a scratch. But look at the flowers I found for Mom! I think she’ll like the colors. She doesn’t have any like this in the garden.” The blonde smiled at her father and held up the bouquet for him to sniff.

“Those are nice, sweetheart. Your mom will love them.” He gave Tara a kiss on the forehead and then, clapping his hands once and rubbing them together, turned to both girls. “So, who wants to be the first to try it out?”

Willow’s eyes widened in excitement and she did a happy dance around Tara. “Yay! It’s ready!” Willow stopped and regarded Tara’s father with grateful eyes. “Thank you, Mr. Maclay.”

“Let me show you something, girls.” The older man placed a gentle hand on the girls’ backs and guided them both to the tree. “If anyone ever wonders who first called dibs on this tree, all they have to do is look.” As he finished speaking, Mr. Maclay lifted the seat of the swing, flipped it over, and showed it to the girls.

“Wow.”

“Yeah…wow.”

On the bottom of the swing, hand etched into the metal, were the words “This space claimed by T.M. & W.R.” Willow and Tara looked at each other with grins that could light up a moonless night.

“Now this place really is ours, Tara.”

“Yeah. Our very own special place.” Tara threw her arms around her father and hugged him tightly. “Thanks, Daddy.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” Mr. Maclay stepped back from his daughter and addressed the two happy girls. “Now, you two have a good time testing out that swing. Be home in time for dinner, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy.”

“Donnie, let’s leave these two to their girl-talk and we’ll go work on that bike of yours.” Mr. Maclay gathered up his tools and began walking across the field.

“Coming, Dad!” Donnie hopped down from the branch, landing right next to Tara. He quickly, but carefully, wrapped his arm around Tara’s neck, effectively trapping her in a loose headlock. With the knuckles of his other hand, he rubbed the top of her head. “Watch what you’re doing there, Kid. Don’t want to scrape up that other knee.”

“Donnie! No noogies!” Tara yelled through her giggles, trying her best to push her brother away from her.

Willow looked on as Tara and Donnie playfully wrestled, a small smile tugging at her lips. She thought about what Tara had said – she’d rather be teased than ignored. She thought about what Donnie had said – he’d never really try to hurt her. She got it; she understood. Donnie was apologizing.

Suddenly feeling left out of the fun, Willow decided it was time to jump in and save the day.

“Donnie Maclay, leave Tara alone this instant!” The little redhead stomped her foot and balled her hands into fists, planting them firmly on her hips.

Donnie looked up to see Willow glaring at him – SuperWillow, protector of little sisters everywhere. He let go of Tara and gave her a gentle pat on the top of her head. “No harm done. See? She’s okay.”

Willow remained still and continued to glare at the older boy.

“Hey, Dad! Wait up!” Donnie turned and began to jog after his father.

“Oh no you don’t, Mister! Tara, stay here. I’ll be right back.” Willow ran after Donnie, closing in on him as she sprinted across the field. “Donnie, stop!”

Donnie looked over his shoulder to see Willow running after him, the look on her face was pleading, rather than demanding. He slowed down and came to a stop, turning to face the redhead.

Willow stopped a foot away from Donnie, her back facing Tara. With a nearly imperceptible nod over her shoulder toward the blonde, Willow whispered, “Make it look good, okay?” She winked and then raised her voice so that Tara could hear her, “Donnie, I told you to leave Tara alone! You’d better make sure you do!” And then she punched Donnie in the stomach, pulling her fist back just before making contact.

Understanding what the redhead was up to, Donnie doubled over a bit as if the punch had really affected him and wrapped his arms around his midsection. “Geez! Ya didn’t have to hit me, ya dork! You’d better watch your back, shorty.”

Willow smirked and again spoke quietly so Tara couldn't hear her. “You’re okay, Donnie.”

“You too, Pixie.”

Knowing they finally understood each other, Donnie and Willow smiled and turned away from each other – Donnie jogging to catch up with his father and Willow trotting back to push Tara on the swing.

---

Willow sighed as she came back from her memories and gently grasped the ropes. Pushing off the ground, she set the swing in motion. She leaned back as far as possible once she’d gained some momentum, her hold on the ropes the only thing keeping her from falling backwards off the swing. Viewing the world while moving and being upside-down gave Willow a heady rush. It’s like floating. After a few minutes, she hopped off the swing and moved to sit against the tree. Glancing at her watch and realizing she was about 30 minutes early, she smiled as she let the feelings of that afternoon so many years ago wash over her.

She chuckled lightly as she thought of Donnie and the hell he put her and Tara through back then. He certainly held up the standards of big brothers everywhere, picking on Tara every chance he got. But, after that day, Willow noticed the twinkle in his eye as he teased his sister. He’d never really hurt her.

And Tara…Tara dutifully fulfilled her role as the tortured little sister, chastising Donnie for his behavior toward her and calling him a dork whenever possible. Willow heard Tara’s voice echo in her head: “I’d rather be teased than ignored.” The redhead’s smile faded from her lips and was replaced with a pained grimace.

That’s just what I did, isn’t it? I ignored her, ignored her feelings. I didn’t stop to think, I just went on a self-pity spree. It was all about me. I didn’t even consider how Tara felt. I don’t blame her for not talking to me anymore. I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t show up today. Hell, I wouldn’t blame her if she hated me.

Willow’s body tensed as she felt the sting of tears at the backs of her eyes. She quickly shook her head, as if clearing unpleasant cobwebs from her brain. No. I’m not going to think that way. She sent the postcard. She said she remembered. She promised. Besides, Buffy said she’d love me. Buffy wouldn’t lie to me.

Her thoughts turned toward her friend. If it hadn’t been for Buffy, she would have spent all of her time in high school either in the library or her room. Willow felt a grin sneak up on her as she thought of Buffy. She was different from the rest of the kids at Sunnydale High. Buffy didn’t give up on her like the rest of them did. Buffy liked Willow for Willow…not for Willow’s grade point average. Buffy understood that she could never replace Tara in Willow’s life…. and she didn’t try. Buffy carved her own little niche in Willow’s life…and her heart. No, Buffy was definitely not like the other kids, Willow chuckled to herself. She’s my rock.

It was Buffy who kept Willow on track for the last year. She kept her promise to Tara, writing to her every now and then to let her know how Willow was doing. In turn, she made sure Willow knew that Tara was doing well. Buffy and Tara had formed a unique friendship during their correspondence with each other. Willow was their connection to each other. But apart from discussing Tara’s well being with Willow, Buffy maintained Tara’s confidence in all other respects. She did not serve as a messenger for Willow and Tara; she did not try to mend what was damaged. Buffy knew that was something only Willow and Tara could do together. The redhead’s respect for Buffy grew exponentially.
I wouldn’t have made it through the last year without Buffy.

Willow sighed as thoughts and memories washed over her. Drawing her knees to her chest, Willow wrapped her arms around her legs and watched as the children ran through the playground on the other side of the park.

******************************

Tara arrived in Sunnydale without having to consult her map. Somehow she just knew where to go, even after all her years away. Noticing that she was a few minutes early, Tara decided to park a block away from their meeting place and walk the rest of the way. After sitting on a plane for hours and then driving from LA, she figured she’d give her limbs a chance to stretch.

Face it, Maclay. You’re stalling. You don’t know if she’s gonna even be there and you’re scared to death that she won’t be.

Despite the warm summer weather, Tara shivered and crossed her arms tightly over her chest. She walked with her shoulders hunched and her head down, blonde tresses falling to cover her face. Suddenly she jerked her arms away from her body, straightened her posture and began walking with determination. Tara hardened herself to the task ahead.

Damn! Why do I do this to myself?! If she isn’t there, then she isn’t there. I’ll just have to live with that. After all, I brought it on myself. If she is there, she may decide she doesn’t want to be in my life anymore, and I’ll have to live with that too. At least I’ll have the chance to apologize before heading back to L.A.

Almost as suddenly, Tara’s gait slowed. The tension she was unconsciously holding in released slightly as she reconsidered her thoughts.

But, this is Willow. She wouldn’t do that, would she? Just shut me out like that? I did it to her, though. She would have reason to shun me. I hurt her so badly by breaking off contact. I took my friendship away from her without giving her the chance to make amends.

Tara came to a halt and sat on a bench at a nearby bus stop.

But, why should she have to make amends? Why should she have to do all the work? We both said things we didn’t mean. I was as much to blame. But I turned my back on her. She tried to apologize. She tried to bridge the gap and make things right. But I ignored her. I just ignored her. And when I realized what I had done, that I was just as much to blame, what did I do? Did I write to her? Did I call her? Did I apologize? No. I kept my silence. I hurt her more than she could ever hurt me.

Tara stood and resumed her walk. Her determination, while not as fierce, had returned. She had somewhere to be.

I will not screw this up.

As she approached the area she remembered from her childhood, her heart sank. Their special place had been turned into a modern public park. Tara looked around trying to reorient herself with her surroundings. Everything was different. The area that was once covered with trees and wild flowers – where she and Willow could hide away from the rest of the world – was now jam-packed with people. There were families enjoying the warm summer weather at the picnic grounds. Children climbed through the jungle gym in the playground. Lovers sat arm-in-arm on the benches – many surrounding the fountain that was prominently displayed at the center of the park. Tara walked closer to the fountain to have a better look. The large sculpture in the middle of the fountain brought a wistful smile to her lips. It showed two young girls playing under the shade of a large tree – one pushing the other on a makeshift swing hanging from the tree’s largest branch.

Out of the corner of her eye, Tara caught a glimpse of red as a group of teenagers left the area and headed toward the hotdog stand. She would have known that color anywhere. She’d spent years painstakingly mixing paints until she achieved just the right hue. It was etched in her memory.

She’s here. Tara took a moment to catch her breath and then began to walk toward the friend she’d only seen in her dreams for the past 8 years. Willow was sitting at the foot of the large oak tree they had played under as children. Our tree. As Tara slowly approached the tree, she took in Willow’s profile. Willow sat against the tree, her knees drawn up to her chest, her chin resting on her arms, which were crossed over her knees, her eyes closed. Tara could tell that Willow was lost in thought, a myriad emotions playing across her face. She stopped before reaching her destination to watch Willow and marveled at her friend’s beauty. Willow’s hair was waving slightly in the late afternoon breeze. Soft…I’ll bet it’s soft. Tara’s gaze moved downward to take in Willow’s face and she noticed the small smile on her lips. Soft…I’ll bet they’re soft. After spending a few more moments taking in all that was Willow, Tara brought herself out of her daydream and again began moving toward the tree.

As she walked, the tension and anxiety melted away. All that existed in that moment was Willow.

My Willow.

********************

Willow had lost track of time as she sat wrapped in her memories. She made herself focus on the good memories – of her and Tara under the same tree, of Buffy goofily drawing little stick figures on her letters to Tara, of having a letter or email from Tara brighten her day. At the same time, she was trying to calm the pterodactyls that had been flapping around in her stomach. She’d thought about this day nearly every day for the past 8 years. She'd agonized over it every day for the past 2 months -- What if Tara didn’t come? What if she changed her mind after she sent the postcard? What would she do? No…no…she’ll be here. She has to be here. I need her to be here. Willow soothed herself by closing her eyes and easily pulling up the image of Tara’s prom picture in her mind. She could never forget that image – the half grin that made her heart skip a beat, the wheat colored hair flowing over her shoulders, the piercing blue eyes that seemed to dance. Willow was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of a melodic voice to her left. Though she hadn’t heard the owner of the voice speak in 8 years, she knew without a doubt that it was Tara. She’s here. She came.

“Give me your hand
Make room for me
to lead and follow
you
beyond this rage of poetry.”

Willow smiled as she listened to the voice, which seemed to move closer with each word. Hearing a brief pause, she decided to pick up where the voice left off.

“Let others have
the privacy of
touching words
and love of loss
of love

For me
Give me your hand”

Her eyes were still closed as she finished the final lines of the poem. Willow took a brief moment to simply be. Without looking toward her friend, Willow broke the short silence.

“Maya Angelou, ‘A Conceit.’ It’s my favorite.”

“I remember. ‘Women Poets of the 20th Century.’ Your fall 2002 ‘just because’ class.”

Willow’s smile widened. She remembered. She remembered and memorized my favorite poem. Her eyes still closed, Willow basked in the feeling of Tara being near. After a few moments, she spoke again.

“I was hoping you’d really be here.” Willow spoke just above a whisper.

“Of course I’m here. We have a date.”

“Yes…we do.”

Willow finally turned her head toward Tara and opened her eyes—instantly making contact with the blue eyes she missed so much. The smile never left her face as she took in the sight of Tara casually leaning against the tree, her arms lightly wrapped around her waist. She felt a surge of warmth run through her body as Tara’s lips curled into the half smile Willow adored. Willow’s eyes followed Tara as she moved away from the tree and knelt in front of her – the two women gazed at each other, finally, eye to eye.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

TBC....

[watty]

“If anyone ever wonders who first called dibs on this tree, all they have to do is look.”

DIBS!! I call dibs on the tree and the swing. Oh and why didn't the swing seat say G.N. and H.W. instead?

And

noogies

not of luuurve of course, cos like you explained, the accompanying groping will be gross and ewwwy. But the mention of noogies gives me tingly, fruity sensations. It's enough to make this friday a happy friday.

More comments later, cos even after all we talked about, I still have stuff to say.

ETA: Do I? Have more stuff to say? Even after a bad night's sleep, I read the chapter again (how many times now?) and yes, there is so much to comment on. Besides, you demanded feedback, and who am I to deny you?

First, Tara, gods what's that word we use for interlude? Dammit! Anyway the radio part, so fucking funny, with so few words. Well, if she's been used to BBC Radio, no wonder she's frustrated at the choices available.

The flashback, to me, is the centerpiece of this chapter. A nice Donnie, a loving Mr Maclay, the implied love they have for Mrs Maclay. I'm so happy that this is an allround happy Maclay clan. Donnie's admission to Willow that

As little sisters go, she’s pretty okay.

is a big declaration, cos boys his age? Won't say sappy stuff like that unless he really really really means it. Willow's return

You’re okay, Donnie.

neatly brings this full circle. These two have an understanding, even at that age, about Tara. Bodes very well for the future.

What makes Tara tick, and how important relationships are to her, that's brought home here. That she recognizes Donnie's teasing as being teenage posturing, and that he in fact notices her, and gives her attention

I’d rather be teased than ignored.

Yes, that is very telling. And you build on this to great effect later in present W's thoughts.

I ignored her, ignored her feelings. I didn’t stop to think, I just went on a self-pity spree. It was all about me.

and

We both said things we didn’t mean. I was as much to blame. But I turned my back on her. She tried to apologize. She tried to bridge the gap and make things right. But I ignored her. I just ignored her.

Both blaming themselves for the fight, sigh. We chuckle evilly when we see kittens asking about the reason for the fight, about what happened, what triggered it, what went through their minds. Let me say this, Kittens, that sometimes the topic of the fight isn't the most important, sometimes the reason things deteriorate between two people (who by the way, love each other remember) is because of the emotions stirred by an argument rather than the argument itself. I think I'm not being spoilery when I say that.

And so to the meeting. Love the description of the park, love what you've done to it. Love Tara's recognition of the red,

She would have known that color anywhere. She’d spent years painstakingly mixing paints until she achieved just the right hue. It was etched in her memory.

*melt*

The poem, the poem was sooooo beautifully done, they both know the poem, it's a way of reaching out to the other, of re-connecting. I haven't forgotten that this monster evolved out of FC3, but I'm so glad you kept this important segment.

Am I disgruntled you left it there, at a mini-cliffhanger? Of course not, it's a perfect place to end, cos it shows us that their uncertainties, the trepidation coming to the date, they're unfounded. They have so much to talk about it could fill Texas (and then Debra will be like, "yeah can I listen?") but they also have slodges of time (see? efficient word recycling). Right now, here, for the first time in 8 years, they just need to simply, be.


[br]

[Emms]

Second DIBS! I'll have to come back on Saturday to do a full review...but let me just say now...NO....you can't leave it there. *Sigh* I cant believe they are finally at the tree...I was sure you was going to drag that meeting out for all of eternity!

Okay I'll be back this weekend.

xoxo
Emms

[Willow~Rosenberg]

Oooh, that was so not fair leaving it there. I loved how Tara bridged some of the gap that was between them just by reciting Willow's favorite poem. I could picture the whole thing in my mind and I really want to see what happens next!

[Naeryn]

Well, Car, it was all I expected, and then some.

Brilliantly written, my dear. A positively adorable flashback that actually makes me *like* Donny, and you know, that takes some doing. I see Donny here as the irritating but overall cool older brother; what he really should have been. The kind of brother Tara deserved. Mr. Maclay, the same. Strong and dignified, but most definitely a loving father.

Loved seeing their various anxieties before hand, a little hint of the insecurity we've come to expect in W/T fics, but, perhaps, less developed? Can't wait for the next chapter.

[cebrau]

Awwww Car!
What can I say? I cant think of anything....
Such a wonderfull update, it was like actually being there, feeling their feelings, I could see myself in that park.. watching Tara aproching Willow and feel them... hear their thoughts and learn their memories..
And it was such a wonderfull feeling, to be a part of that meeting..

Thank you Car.. it will be in my pocket for every time I'd like to feel like that again, and you sweetie gave me that... right now, i couldn't ask for more

Thanks again,
Ceci

[sam]

Nooo you can't end there!!!! . Wonderful update..soo lovely . Love sam xx

[grimlock72]

Most of all this update made me laugh. Laugh out loud about Willow being "SuperWillow, protector of little sisters everywhere" a role I can see her perform easily. She has a fierce somewhat over-protective streak .

Donnie was smart to make peace with Willow too, she would have eventually found a way to make sure he wouldn't think about hurting Tara again .

It did surprise me that the swing was still there in the public park after 8 years. Must have been a proper build swing.

We still don't know much about the fight/argument they had, but it seems they said some bad things to each other. For some reason Tara wasn't able to try and mend the rift created, even though Willow offered. Tara does realise that but doesn't say why that was. That will make the meeting a bit akward I think.

I never doubted they would meet at the arranged place and date. It's more a matter of what type of meeting it will be. If they don't want to speak to each other anymore, they can just have quick talk and be on their way. Something has to happen/give to prevent that.... we'll have to see how their initial talk goes. (assuming they talk and not go all silenty)

I truly loved the flashback with Willow being all protective at 12 years old, was much fun to read .

P.S. I know Tara said her mother was doing well in her letters, I was wondering if she was fully cured (i.e. out of danger).

Grimmy

[outofhabit]

Hey, this is my first feedback on this story because I'm new-ish to the board and I just started reading this a few days ago... Anyway, with that said, I LOVE IT!!!

I really like the flashbacks and the letters and emails. The story feels so old (in a good way, you know?) and woven. Your characters have managed to become spot on, despite the fact that there hasn't been much of any real Willow/Tara dialogue (in the present, at least).

This update was awesome, I adored the poem quoting and the fact that Willow didn't open up her eyes for some time. Brilliant.

I can't wait to see what happens next!!!

-Jenna

[outofhabit]

Hey, this is my first feedback on this story because I'm new-ish to the board and I just started reading this a few days ago... Anyway, with that said, I LOVE IT!!!

I really like the flashbacks and the letters and emails. The story feels so old (in a good way, you know?) and woven. Your characters have managed to become spot on, despite the fact that there hasn't been much of any real Willow/Tara dialogue (in the present, at least).

This update was awesome, I adored the poem quoting and the fact that Willow didn't open up her eyes for some time. Brilliant.

I can't wait to see what happens next!!!

-Jenna