WTTV: The Kitten Show (A Collaborative Series)

[Emms]

I am so ashamed at how far behind I am on leaving feedback. I have feedback for She-Ra all typed out, but I've been slacking off so much that I haven't posted it. Since tomorrow is Saturday I promise feedbacky goodness for everyone! Woo! *raises glass* the next round is on me!

xoxo
Emms

[tarawhipped]

Replies to Giles' Angels feedback. Thank you all!

GayNow: Thanks for all the support, Car, both in the planning stages and during my struggle to finish this. I knew this would appeal most to women of our sort of age (lol) and I love that you thought it worked. Our chats inspired so many of the elements, not least of which was the golf tournament weekend. I’m glad you liked the updated cars. I just couldn’t have Willow driving a Pinto (yay Watty for knowing more about cars than me!), and thought Tara deserved something sexier than a Cobra. I did have fun with this once I got over my stress, and your continued encouragement is very much appreciated.[br]
CaptMurdock: Water polo! Damn, that would have been funny, and would have made for a great angst-ridden memory of Willow’s pony drowning. One of the things I loved about Charlie’s Angels was how Bosley was always ‘disguise guy,’ yet he always looked the same, only with a Hawaiian shirt and Panama hat or something. I think Car had the idea for Xandersley in drag, and the image of him in that blonde wig at the frat house was too good to pass up. I thought about making it more convincing, but while Ethan may be evil, he ain’t blind. Thanks, Capt![br]
Darth Pacula: LOL r.e. the silhouettes. The small one is from the show, so it’s none of them, though I think the header is actually them (you’d have to ask Chris or DW…can’t remember who made it). Oh, I’m glad you liked “Alexa Xanadu.” I thought it was very Dynasty-esque, but I also couldn’t resist the opportunity to give a shout-out to one of the cheesiest movies EVER.

One question; was this set back in the seventies?

It was not. The idea for this has been brewing for some time, inspired by the bad fashion and prevalence of Farrah hair in the latter seasons of Buffy. If they insist on bringing back the 70s (and with it my memories of polyester and hair that sadly never feathered properly), then I insist on making fun of it.

The 'mini-golf' aspect of the story was funny.

When I was pitching the idea to Car, she suggested I set it at the Dinah Shore Weekend, but I was reluctant to set it anywhere real. The seed was planted though, and voila! Mini-golf silliness ensued. As for the Buffy car escapades, that was inspired by the fact that Kelly Garrett (Jacqueline Smith) seemed to always have the car troubles: bomb, tampered brake line, etc. I liked the idea that Buffy would have the same thing, only it was really lame excuses for her crappy driving. Thanks, Paul![br]
SallyMcFine: Oh dear. No driving off the road! Glad you and the wife made it home in one piece (err…two pieces?). The Angel Investigations gag was the first one I wrote for this, so thanks for pointing it out. Yay! I didn’t intend for the mini-golf thing to be a huge surprise; I just thought it was funny in my usual ‘fuck subtle humor’ way. The idea that they would be taking this so seriously, and be talking about serious athletes, and it’s…putt-putt! Thanks so much, Sally.[br]
Watty:

you sure know your Angels well. Almost too well to make me wonder how you spent your youth

Okay, you caught me. I’m sure I’m not the only girl who was a preteen in the late 70s who played Charlie’s Angels. And in typical fashion, as I was a tomboy, I had to be Sabrina (‘the smart one’), while my sister and best friend got the more glamorous Kelly and Kris. Thank you for the help with the super-duper hot cars. You have way more gearhead cred than I. Once I got rolling, I was throwing in references to everything. Buffy eps (the slide show was originally going to suddenly be happening in a Sunnydale U classroom, til I decided it was unwieldy), other shows (MacGuyver; Alexa=Alexis), Xanadu (I love it! No, I hate it! I hate that I love it!). Tara’s “OW” was a very obscure and out-of-context shout-out to Kathryn’s Sidestep Chronicles; Willow’s fear that Tara had knocked herself stupid was a blatant rip-off of pipsberg’s The Rosenberg Institute. There’s probably more. I’m a leech.

You were such a phenomenal help on this, Watty. I knew, coming in under the wire as I was, that others probably wouldn’t have a chance to look at it, and appreciate so much that you spent some of your vacation time not only acting as beta, but uploading the car pics and spoon feeding me the code. I couldn’t have done it without you. Glad you liked it, sorry to Abbafy you, and I cannot wait for the recap![br]
Thianne: Thank you, Thianne. Oh, you picked out another thing I ‘borrowed.’ I don’t know where I’ve read ‘Lezbopalooza,’ but I stole it from someone. If anyone can tell me where, I’ll happily credit them. Love that word.[br]
SithLordWiccan: No worries, Sith. As I told Car, I knew this would appeal mostly to women who grew up watching the show. I loved it, but it was cheesy as all hell. They took it very seriously though, which is why I had to skewer it.

I found it funny that you would have Anya depart and bring in Tara as the new Angel. I'm not sure how that was done in the show, but I do know that sort of thing happened a lot. (Did they just bring in a new actress whenever one walked off, or was there ever an actual explanation?)

They did come up with explanations, of varying believability. When Farrah Fawcett left the series after the first year, they said her character was going off to become a race-car driver, and replaced her with Cheryl Ladd, who played the younger sister of Farrah’s character. Once again, Car came through with the sister idea (I initially planned on keeping Anya in there and having Tara as the bad guy…sorta). I’m glad she made the suggestion though, cause I think it worked much better. Thank you.[br]
taralicious: Thanks, Blayne. I knew I had to keep the opening ‘once upon a time’ in there, but thought it would look stupid just sitting there before the actual fic started, and thus Giles’ weird behavior was born.

Anya must be the Kate Jackson of the Angels as the power trio of Buffy, Willow, and Tara all are locked in a triple threat match for the sex bomb Farrah Fawcett role.

Hey now! See, this is where I get my geeky haunches up, cause as much as I resented having to play Sabrina as a kid, I now see that she was the closest thing to a lesbian Charlie’s Angels had, and Willow is Sabrina all the way (smart chicks rule!). I saw Anya very much as the pretty-but-vacuous Farrah, and Tara as Cheryl Ladd, well…let’s just say I really, really should have known I was a dyke much sooner than I did. Buffy was Jacqueline Smith by default, though Kelly was the martial arts expert, so that fit. I’m glad you liked it, and thank you.[br]
Artemis:

So that's why the WTTV casting agent was only letting Cecile do a couple of half-days on set everywhere else - you had her all busy in a starring role here. It's all clear now... (and, 'Orso Della Vecchia', cute)

hehehe. Were there any shows in the 70s that didn’t have a Special Guest Star? I enjoyed the movies too, but they just didn’t capture me the way the show did. I’m sure it’s because I’m so much more grown up and not impressionable now.
The horse thing was a late addition during my week off, so thanks for giving it props. And if my tardiness can inspire something as hilarious and disturbingly hot as Willzilla, well, that’s probably going to inspire me to be late more often. I can’t remember many specifics about the show anymore, but I know they used (or possibly created) a ton of TV clichés, so the trapped-in-a-sauna was easy to do, and something for the Fluffy fans in the audience *coughweirdoscough* Thanks, Chris![br]
JustSkipIt: Campy is exactly what I was going for, Debra, so thanks! Sabrina did tend to work solo, or with Bosley, didn’t she? Oops. Well, screw that. I almost went further with the clothes descriptions and hair-flipping, but I just couldn’t do it. Feel free to imagine Tara’s hair changing in every scene to a different ‘do. But not feathered, ‘cause…blech.[br]

[GayNow]

I just couldn’t have Willow driving a Pinto

Well, the Focus is a good substitute. Though the Fiesta would have been a good one too--along the same lines in quality as a Pinto. At least it wasn't a Yugo...though that could have been what Giles was driving.

[justin]

Sorry for the late feedback

This really was a great story that had me most of the time. I liked the idea of Giles trying to remain this mysterious presence by hiding all the time (for some reason it made me think of the neighbour from Home Improvement)

Other great moments were Xander in drag, Buffy trying keep up the pretence of not speaking English around Faith and Willow's mini golf fear.

Regarding Lezbopalooza, in Gods Served and Abandoned buffy uses the word LezziePalooza, so maybe you got it from there.

[fanfictionwithoutpity]

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Title: Fraggle Rock - It’s so awful, I just have to sing about it! {Please don't.}
Recapper: watty
Additional snark: GayNow {in bold pink}
Rating: R
Disclaimers: BtVS characters belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, The WB, UPN and others. Fraggle Rock characters belong to The Jim Henson Company, TVS, the CBC, HBO and others.
Summary: Don’t know what a recap is? Read up on televisionwithoutpity.
Notes: Thanks to RKTers for another successful collaboration. DarkWiccan for the fraggle-y goodness. Hermitfish Media Inc for the commercials. Apple for the macbook. And Car’s Mom for all the food.


Today is a sad day for me. I’m thinking of my vacation last week when I had to say good-bye to my dear friends and to the Windy City. {Aaahhh! It’s the end! It’s the end! Woe is watty!}

Heh. It’s not exactly the truth because I wrote this recap in April after the ep aired on WTTV and I’m posting in May. But since I know which date I’m posting (except for the unexpected postponement last week), I can project to what I would be feeling. It’s so fake, everything can be projected ahead of time nowadays. {Except, of course, what day I will finally have sex again. Damn, long distance relationships suck! And batteries ain’t cheap.} For instance I might predict that on Thursday 21 September 2006 at exactly 9.21am (ie 9.21 on 9.21) I’m gonna go to my fridge to get a diet coke and I find that I’ve run out, so I will be cranky. Will I make it a self-fulfilling prophecy by deliberately not putting diet coke in my grocery list the weekend before? {Fulfilling your own prophecy by deliberately not having diet coke? The real question is: Are you prophecizing or simply being a pain in the ass? I vote for the latter.} Is that a hint for people to make sure my fridge is stocked up? All these emotion-by-appointment is making me all sorts of fucked up. {Now diet coke is an emotion? Wow! The folks at the Coca-Cola Corporation are good.}

Aaaaaanyway, I’m way off topic. Sars and Wing asked (aka told) me to recap this classic tv series. LOL. I can’t believe they think I can do it since I haven’t seen a few of these shows. No, I’m not dropping hints about how young [*ahem -- Sars*] I am, I’m just saying I haven’t seen these shows. Not buying it, eh? Fine. *pouts.* {Oh look, the 12-year-old has come out to play again. No pigeons to harrass, watty?}

Right. Moving swiftly to the actual recap. It’s the Fraggles.

We’re at Old Man Doc’s workshop. {**looks around** We are?} Old Man Doc has a date! Whoo-hoo! When was the last time Doc had a date? {Hey, at least he’s got a date. I’m still running out of batteries.} I dread to think. {Me too. Batteries are expensive.} May be during the 70s? The 1870s? Snerk. I’m bad; he’s alright, that Doc. Sprocket, on the other hand, is not a happy bunny, or should I say doggie. {Yes, you should.} He’s long considered Doc as his one and only ... and any HoYay! insinuations are not intended because ... ewwww to zoophilia. [*Might I remind you that this is a children’s program? -- Sars*] But that’s not all. {I think you mean, "But wait! There's more!"} Doc’s date, one Lumila Perkins, doesn’t like dogs. Catfight time! {Now you’re calling Sprocket a cat? You have animal issues.}

Meanwhile, underneath Doc’s workshop and unbeknownst to Doc or Sprocket {They don't know much...well, Sprocket knows that he llluuurrvvs Doc}, we celebrate Tara Fraggle’s 600th day birthday. By the way, if they celebrate birthdays, shouldn’t we be celebrating birthyears instead? Worth pondering. [*not -- Sars*] She is painting a surprise for her best friend Willow Fraggle. Willow comes in and ruins the surprise, both figuratively and physically, by crashing into the painting. {But she was so cute as she did! Little Willow Fraggle and all of her fraggle-y exuberance.}

They discuss Tara’s 600th day birthday. Now that Tara doesn’t need to be carded (an honor that extends only to those over 600 days old), she needs to start worrying about relationships, as one is wont to do when one reaches that certain age. She is excited at the prospect of choosing her Complement, which in Fraggleland is the G-rated version of, um, spell partner. (See the definition of "doing spells" under the She-Ra recap, coming soon to your screen.) {I’ve read the She-Ra contribution…"coming soon" is definitely an appropriate phrase. I think others would agree. }

She is confronted with a veritable buffet of complementary choices. [*groan -- Sars*] {Mmmm…Buffet.} For appetizer there’s Indecisive Wembling "Sidekick" Wembley, who is always eager to please. {snerk} For main course there’s Cool Orange "the Fonz" Gobo, who is brave and cool and lusted after by all the girl fraggles. {Do Fraggles lust?} For salad there’s Felix "Fearless" the Fearless, who isn’t really in the running, because who goes for the salad in a buffet? {My grandmother…but she’s so cute when she does. Okay, she’s cute all the time.} (watty: yeah she is. Plus she’s 92, so extra cuteness.) Oh, and if her tastes run to a different style of buffet, there’s Cuddly'n'Cute "I’m a Cheerleader" Cecile {Is she Megan or Graham? Mmm...Clea Duvall. } and Everbright "Blonde Ambition" Fiona {Madonna wannavirginbe?}. Can I just take a moment to comment on the actress who plays Cecile? {You may, but you’ll have to make up for the lost moment later.} Hubba bubba. <*Um, yeah, Fraggles are puppets. Got a thing for puppets, Watty? -- DW*> (watty: okay, you two are just ganging up on me.) Oh, and I want her cool messenger bag, the one she was wearing when she delivered Tara's official Ritual letter. It's even cooler than the Hedgren one that I bought with my new macbook that is now sitting in a basement somewhere in the Mid-West.

Truth is, Tara has her eye on a different buffet altogether. {Mmmm….Buffet.} There is only one course and one dish available at this buffet. Now if you don’t know, you must have been sleeping in the Caves of Forgetfulness because how can you not know that Tara Fraggle and Willow Fraggle are two fraggles who are fraggily made for each other? {They’re Fragalutely Fragglicious!}

The problem is, even though Tara is undeniably drawn to the red moppet, Willow is underaged and cannot be Tara’s Complement. She wants Tara to wait, but Tara isn’t sure. If she waits the 150 days before Willow is eligible, she becomes the fraggle equivalent of hopeless old maid and she doesn’t want to have to face the other fraggles like that. {And she would have to get a dozen cats. And cats are bigger than Fraggles. Tara Fraggle would be eaten by her own pussy! … Okay, everyone take part in the collective groan.} Besides, she has been looking forward to this Great Ritual of Choosing for 350 days, which is a long long time in the fraggle lifetime *nods sagely*. {Wake up, watty! Stop nodding off like that.} (watty: What? The couch is so comfy.)

Willow feels the brunt of Tara’s rejection and mopes. Tara realizes she’s in a quandary and mopes too. There’s a whole lotta moping going on. {Moping moppets…could be dangerous.}


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*****

We’re back with Old Man Doc {**looks around** We are?}, who is busy beautifying himself for his date. [*A man of his age doesn’t beautify himself, the most he does is wash under his armpits -- Sars*] Sprocket is consumed with jealousy and begs Doc to stay with him. Unfortunately his double twisted pike front somersault followed by barks that spell out the morse code of "b-w-me" was mistaken to be a good luck wish. Before he skips out of the house [*And again, a man his age doesn’t skip -- Sars*] Doc pats Sprocket on the head and is proud of himself that he can decipher his dog’s signals. {How can men expect to understand women when they can’t even figure out dogs? Sheesh! Oh, wait…I can’t figure out women either. Nevermind.} (watty: heh. Join the club.) {Only if there's a secret handshake.}

*****

Gobo has again been to the room at the end of the tunnel, aka Doc's workshop, to bravely retrieve the latest postcard from his Uncle Traveling Matt. He is relieved that the nasty giant furry, four-legged beast with sharp teeth wasn’t around this time to chase him. {Seems like you’ve got puppy issues, watty.}

Gobo tells Sidekick Wembley about the latest. This time, Uncle Matt’s postcard is so very topical, for he talks about the mating ritual of the Silly Creatures from Outer Space. Their ritual consists of giving each other shiny objects and attacking each other until one of them is defeated and falls on the ground. You gotta watch the ep to truly appreciate how Uncle Traveling Matt totally misinterprets the human proposal ritual. {"Misinterprets"? I think Uncle Traveling Matt is pretty accurate here. Though, throw in a little chocolate pudding or strawberry Jell-O and it’s a party!} (watty: just jell-o? Not a jell-o pool?) {Depends on what you do with the jell-o...oh wait...kids' show.} (watty: heh, reminds me of that convo we had at the ice cream store.)

Gobo also tells Wembley that he will choose Tara as his concub-complement. {Careful, watty.} Little does he know that Willow is hiding just behind him and overhears everything he says. She’s very sad and dejectedly goes home. {Does she "dejectedly go home" or "go home dejectedly"? And should I have the ? inside or outside the quotation mark? I’m just glad you didn’t try to use a semi-colon!} She sees no future {And this is where Fraggle Willow breaks into showtunes from Rent -- "There is no future, there is no past."}; she knows she isn’t in remotely the same class as Gobo {Nope..she's two years ahead...skipped a couple of grades.}, but she doesn’t want to be there to see her love choose someone else. With tears in her eyes she packs, leaves a note and runs away. {What a weenie.} (watty: what’s with the weenie obsession lately?) {I wish I knew.}

As is the case in all these situations, the minute, no ... the microsecond Willow turns the corner, Tara comes over and knocks on her door. {Oh, the humanity! Um...Oh, the Fraggality! Or something like that.} She has good news. But all she finds is Willow’s bitter note. She is sad too and runs to blow on the Fraggle Horn to alert everyone that Willow has run away. {I could make a snarky comment about Fraggle Tara blowing the Fraggle Horn, but I’ll refrain. As Sars said, it’s a kids’ show.} She smacks herself up that she is the cause of this. {Smacks herself up? Is that anything like knocking herself up? Damn…kids’ show. Sorry.} She is so upset that she breaks into song. Hmm, next time I’m upset I’m gonna start singing too. {I will allow this ony if you sing "I’m a little teapot." Otherwise, no singing from you.} (watty: )

Willow has reached the Belching Boulder, and her mind is in seventeen different places as she starts telling the boulder about her woes. The boulder burps. What does Willow expect? Sound advice? A friendly ear? Offers to help win Tara’s heart? {A fresh, fragrant aroma?} It’s a rock, Willow. That belches. It’s not qualified to give counseling advice. If the National Counseling Association (or whatever name it goes by) starts admitting rocks, it may as well start giving out qualifications to killer whales and garbage heaps. {Hey now! Oscar the Grouch is quite the sage!} (watty: he goes with onions? *is confused by the blank looks* sage & onion stuffing? ) {No…but he smells like onions. Does that count?}

Oh wait, Tara arrives. {Thank you for not saying, "Tara comes"...cuz, whole different fic. Um, yeah. } Willow acts like she’s overdosed on the bitter pill. But Tara says she has good news. Willow’s like how can any news be good. Tara explains that she’s been studying the rules and like the good fraggle lawyer that she one day will become, she’s found a loophole. It turns out that 600 days is the eligibility criteria for the chooser, not the choosee. [*er, you mean chosen? -- Sars*] Well, I would have thought a rule as fundamental as that will be well known, but then again laws are made to be obscure aren’t they, otherwise how could lawyers justify charging the sky and heaven (or in the case of fraggles, the ceiling of the tunnel) so they can read through the complicated legalese that they developed for the sole purpose of confusing the general public. <*Exactly! Thank you for providing my justification; saved me having to come up with it -- DW*> {Holy shit, this is a long ass sentence!!!}

They run back to the Great Hall where, as if by magical timing, <*A key ingredient to every good fantasy kids show, thank you very much -- DW*> the Ritual of Choosing is about to start. Tara chooses Willow and they get all shy with the small glances and the hand brushing. {Are you sure they are just brushing hands? Right…kids’ show. **waits for Sars to fire me**} They decide to get married. Well, the actual term is Complementing each other for at least 100 days, but that’s their world. In our world, it’s as good as getting married. {But, really, what constitutes "as good as getting married" even in our world? At least Fraggle Tara didn’t have to choose Gobo for it to be recognized as a real act of Complementing.} (watty: political moment much, Car?) {I'll have another in about 9 years.} And it’s a good way of committing to each other -- you only have a commitment for 100 days, afterwards you’re free to continue. Or not. Takes the foreverness out of a relationship, which is probably why the human divorce rate is so high. {Okay…puppies and commitment…two watty issues.}

Speaking of human dating habits. Doc comes back from his date and it’s clear he won’t be going out for another date any time soon. {Finally, Doc and I have something to talk about...lack of datage.} He chooses Sprocket, who launches into another set of somersaults and coded barking to convey his pleasure. {Well, Doc clearly doesn’t have puppy or commitment issues…especially not when committing to a puppy. And really icky thoughts just went through my head. **shudders**}

It’s like the coming of the Aurora Fragglialis. A sky full of beautiful colors is coming. {Will there be a non-kids’ episode to let us know if Fraggle Willow and Fraggle Tara are coming too?}

Fraggles happy.


Producer: DarkWiccan.
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[Missocki]

giggle giggle giggle. I love recaps....

[Artemis]

Hee, snarkariffic! Love the primary snark, love the additional snark. Especially such gems as "It's a rock, Willow. That belches," and of course "Tara Fraggle would be eaten by her own pussy!" Rearrange that last one slightly, throw in a supernaturally-flexible spine, and there's a chapter of UberSmut right there.

Speaking of UberSmut, I just read the latest chapter, on top of this recap, and those two combined is what put me in the somewhat naughty mood that resulted in my vote for 'marry all of them!' in the poll. I'm not abandoning the sacred Willow + Tara equation, it's just that all the smut in this recap of a Jim Henson show kind of messed with my head, and now the phrase 'Fraggle orgy' just won't go away. I thought muppets didn't get this R-rated until Farscape. Plus, otherwise it'd just be a flat 100% vote for option 3, and it's not a proper poll unless there's a fancy graph that looks like a city skyline on its side.

[JustSkipIt]

A few late and somewhat miscellaneous replies for Love Boat. Thanks for the comments and sorry it took me a little while to respond:

Useful Oxymoron – Another distant viewer of the Love Boat: talk about “made for TV” huh? Well, I can see your attraction for Faith. I mean I virtually always love her in any incarnation. Glad you loved her. Dawn is definitely being led to a life of crime but perhaps it’s an object lesson. Tee hee.

Lol: crocodile…

Though I have to ask which game Willow was playing on her computer, though. I'm a hardcore gamer myself, but I'm afraid I couldn't place this one. Hitman was my first instict, but on second thought, I don't think it was that.

Ahhh. I have to admit that it wasn’t a specific game. I’m not a gamer at all. My wife has a Nintendo DS but she just plays Mario Kart and Animal Crossing. I’ve started an Animal Crossing persona because she wanted me to play but I don’t really care. Anyway, I told the other RKTers that I wanted Willow playing a game and they (mostly Sally, Justin, Watty, & Chris) made some suggestions of things she or Tara might say. Sorry it wasn’t more specific.

Glad you loved the director’s cuts. Thanks.

[hr]

Wolfy Willow – Hey there. Not sure I’ve seen your signon before so I’m glad to see you on the KB. Thanks for commenting. Really, the Xanya was your favorite? Well, I’m glad to hear that. Mostly I just needed two minor storylines because that is the Love Boat formula. I’m happy that it worked so well. Ha ha = Charo. Thanks.

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SallyMcFile (otherwise known as Sally Willy Nilly or SallyPants –

Urgh, one of my pet peeves is when people say "flush it out" when they mean "flesh it out." I'm going to go post that in the Pet Peeves thread soon.

I’m sure everyone has little ones like that. My brother’s boss is always saying, “Well it’s a mute point now” and my bro wants to stand up in a meeting and scream at him: “It’s MOOT!!!!!” My mother couldn’t stand for someone to say “first annual” or “basic fundamentals” and I have too many of them to even count. I’d say right now my biggest thing anyone says is on the Travelocity commercial where they want to dispel the myth that you should book your hotel and rental car and plane ticket separately. That’s a myth? Maybe they need to look up myth.

See, I super-digress.

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Car – Yes, that makes sense and I’m glad that it came through. Like I said earlier, I had considered making it either a very campy “still in the 70s” thing or making it anachronistic but then I just went with the “what if the Love Boat was today but the crew were still geeks?” in my version of Chris’s machine. Really, you wondered about behind the doors? I have to admit that I didn’t even think about it at all as a kid. Ever. I never even knew that there was anything to happen behind doors really until they explained it in biology class and then it didn’t make any sense to me. Tee hee. Thanks.

I’ll feedback the recap separately. Thanks everyone.

[watty]

Sorry to bump the thread, but I added a link in the recap to the poll results. Currently it stands at:

Willow, always go for the younger models (82%)
All of them. Want. Take. Have. What? (13%)
Cecile, her rack rivals Sally's and it's a good thing (5%)
Gobo, you always try to snag the one everyone wants (0%)
What's the point of choosing? They'll break up eventually (0%)

23 total votes

Even if you're not feedbacking (sigh, I know we're not loved ) take a moment to vote in the quick poll.
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[FineyMcFine]

The recap cracked me up! It was about a year or so ago when I first started reading The Amazing Kitten Race and was confused that I stumbled on to www.televisionwithoutpity.com to see what it was all about. That's some funny stuff on TWOP, and this is some funny stuff in FFWOP.

When I read DW's story, it was totally, what's the word here, innocent, sweet, and refreshing. I could just picture these fraggles in all of their wide-eyed glory. And then I read the recap, and my mind is now filled with innuendo, double entendres, and possible deviant things the fraggles could be doing with each other, or Doc with his dog. The description of Willow Fraggle as underage, an innocent statement, and my mind leaped to "jailbait!" Maybe that says more about me than you, fanfictionwithoutpity, but I didn't sink into this gutter-minded state of being before reading your recap. Blowing the Fraggle horn, indeed.

Also, I loved the snarkage about the Belching Boulder, because HA!

It's a rock, Willow. That belches. It's not qualified to give counseling advice.

The very definition of

[JustSkipIt]

Don't know what a recap is? Don't know what TWOP is? Heck, when my work figures out what it is, they'll ban the site just from my reading the Survivor and TAR recaps. I've got a friend, Jacob, who writes American Idol, Apprentice, and Battlestar Gallactica. Pretty snarky stuff. Tee hee.

And you know I loved the recap format for KAR. It was a completely awesome idea for how to lay out that fic. And I totally love the recap idea for this series. I think that it fits in so well with the whole full-on multi-media experience of fics, song, graphics, etc. So very complete and cool.

Great job!!!

[Emms]

Personally, I loved the recap. I think it is brilliantly executed. And the fact that we're not privy to all the inside jokes is what, in my opinion, makes it funny and fun to read. It's almost like you're chasing this funny little string around, just trying to keep up; trying to see where it's going to end. And of course, Car and Watty are just completely amusing anyway...

xoxo
Emms

[Devi Crystalseeker]

Is it bad that I like the thought of Thundercat Will-O?

(Yeah, yeah, the other instalments deserve feedback too, but it'll take me ages to catch up with this - not that I mind. )

[justin]

That was a great recap. It was good be able to see the story from a different angle. Plus it was really funny

Great work

Looking forward to the next recap

[taralicious]

When I first discovered TWOP, my initial reaction was "Where have you been all my life?" and my second reaction was "at last, an online forum where other people make as much fun of "Smallville" as I do.
The recap of the "Fraggle Rock" epiosde WTTV style was a worthy and noble contribution in the vein and style of snarky goodness we have come to know and love.

[watty]

We're going to try to post 2 recaps a week. However because of the demands of work and RL, we won't have time to write feedback replies prior to every recap. The aim is to post replies every 2 recaps. Here are the results for the poll. The poll is still open!

Who should Tara choose as her Complement?

Willow, always go for the younger models (83%)
All of them. Want. Take. Have. What? (11%)
Cecile, her rack rivals Sally's and it's a good thing (4%)
Gobo, you always try to snag the one everyone wants (0%)
What's the point of choosing? They'll break up eventually (0%)

62 total votes
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[fanfictionwithoutpity]

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Title: Survivors - We're going to need a bucket {A bucket for what? Gonna puke?}
Recapper: watty
Additional snark: GayNow {in bold pink}
Rating: R
Disclaimers: BtVS characters belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, The WB, UPN and others. Survivors concepts and characters belong to Terry Nation, Terence Dudley, the BBC and others.
Summary: Don’t know what a recap is? Read up on televisionwithoutpity.
Notes: Thanks to RKTers for another successful collaboration. justin for survivors. Hermitfish Media Inc for the commercials. Diet Coke and PG Tips for the caffeine. And Car's cats for their general all round cuteness.


On man, talk about BLEAK. {I don’t wanna.} Everyone’s sick. It’s like the pandemic that the experts have been predicting for bird flu. Well, they’ve been warning that we’re all gonna die of avian flu {is that anything like Evian flu? The dreaded virus caused by overpriced WATER…it’s WATER, people!} since 2004, and we’re still waiting for it. {Well, you may be waiting for it. But I’m perfectly happy living my current unhealthy life.} I don’t know how many people the WHO predict will die from the coming pandemic, but if it’s anything like what we're watching I’m afraid. Very afraid. {Yes, you’re paranoid.}

We’re on a farm. {**looks around** We are?} Tara is sick, she has bad flu symptoms and looks like she’s run 2 marathons back to back. While carrying a semi on her back. Actually scrap the truck, I’m picturing the iron anvil that drops on Wile E. Coyote, which is a sign of how my weird mind works. meep-meep {I really don’t wanna know.} (watty: awww c'mon, you love being in my brain, you know it.)

Her loser Dad does his loser thing and tells her she has to continue with her chores. What a jerk. {Make up your mind…he’s either a loser or a jerk.} (watty: what about a jerk-off?) So Tara goes out to get eggs. Eeeep! Doesn’t she know anything about not coming into contact with chicken? [*Um, first off, touching eggs doesn’t give you bird flu. Second, this show isn’t about bird flu. Get with the program. And NO SARS jokes, or you will be very sorry -- Sars*] {I’m with Sars on this one…lay off the bird flu. But I’m okay with the SARS jokes.}

She gets the eggs but promptly drops them and they break into an ugly mess of runny whites and gooey yolks. Why? Cos her dad’s a jerk. I wish. No, she’s sick, remember? And she faints. She wakes up in cold sweat and still looks like shit. {This is Tara we’re talking about here…she never looks like shit. A bit peaked, maybe, but never like shit.} We know she’s sick because she has an IV on her arm. Seems that her family helped brought her inside the house, even though they’re jerks. Why? Because she’s the one bringing home the eggs. {But is she bringing home the bacon?} Are you with me so far? She explores the house, looking for the jerks, but she doesn’t find anyone. Instead of rejoicing at her newfound aloneness and freedom, she goes outside to look for them even more.

She finds her dad dead (or is it dead dad? deadbeat dad? I need to be respectful to the dead) in the barn. She gasps in shock and cries. Even though he’s a jerk, she cries for him since she is a nice person. Yes, that’s what the director is telling us. She’s an ultra nice person. I make a note in my little notebook with tiny pink hearts on the cover. {At which point you promptly barfed in the 'rubbish bin' because you realized you just had a sappy moment.}

Next she finds her dead brother. She cries too. Yes yes yes. She has a kind heart. She drags the two bodies to the same spot, because they need to be jerks together, even in the afterlife. [*Yes, it’s interesting how jerks congregate and propagate -- Sars*] {At least they can’t procreate, cuz….eeewwww!}

She sets off to the village to look for answers. It’s deserted. Oh except for the body of a bobby. No, not Bobby. The policeman type of bobby. Hee, I’m British. {Ya giddy Brit!} (watty: giddy?) She goes to her doctor and goes through his files. {Is that what they call it in Britain? [/snerk]} I suppose when everyone around you is dead you are allowed to violate personal privacy laws. {I’m okay with Tara going through the files—as long as the dead people themselves aren’t violated. Cuz, again, eeewww!}

She finds her own file and man, that doc’s attitude annoys me even though he’s MIA and presumed dead. {Especially because he’s MIA and presumed dead—Tara can’t beat the crap out of him for giving up on her.} He says that he visited Tara (hence the IV in her arm) but doesn’t think she’ll survive. {And now I have images of Tara standing on a hay bale singing "Oh no not I! I will survive! As long as I know how to love, I know I’ll be alive!" I’m feeling giddy over the image.} Man, doctors aren’t supposed to be pessimistic. They’re supposed to save their patients’ lives. Makes me think she has Dr. Gregory House as her physician. Oh, off topic, I still can’t believe Hugh Laurie plays House. {And I just got naughty images of Hugh Laurie and Imelda Staunton frolicking about in their skivvies "playing house"—it’s a bit frightening.}

More OTness, I came across a Dashboard widget that displays your remaining time on this plane of existence. {Is it a DC-10 or a 747?} Appropriately it’s called DeathWatch and man, it’s creepy, though every random date I enter seems to give me a life expectancy of 80 or even 90 years old. Heh. I still don’t want to know when I will die, it’s like at the end of Six Feet Under when Claire drives into the sunset while we see how and when everyone dies. Admittedly there are huge benefits to knowing when I’m gonna die (like, I don’t need to renew my annual cable subscription, or better yet ... pay credit card bill, if I know I’m gonna be offed next month), I’ll put in my vote to not know. They say there are the inevitables in life, taxes and death. But just when my death will be, I want to keep it a surprise, okay? {So that mafia hit on you that I have planned…you don’t want to know about that?} (watty: Oh, you didn't know? I talked to your Aunt Carm and it's all sorted -- Guido and Tony will be hitting Disneyworld instead.)

Alright, topic. {Thank you.} After the visit to the doctor’s office Tara goes to the church. If the doctor’s office is creepy, the church is like the ultimate horror trainwreck. {Are we projecting again?} (watty: you really know how to push my buttons, dontcha?){Careful, watty...that might be too much of an inside joke.} Tara does her best Halley Joel Osment impression {she’s not short enough} and before you can say "I see dead people" she’s outside by the church door puking her guts out. There are bodies everywhere, even one hanging by the bell rope. I just hope they don't turn into zombies. {Wrong alt-verse, watty…stick with the program.} (watty: C++?)

Okay, now she starts panicking as she realizes she may be the only one left in the village. Possibly the state. Or country. Or the world. {You have a knack for the hyperbolic.} She ponders this as she buries her loser dad and loser brother. Gives new meaning to Ultimate Survivor. Ding! She doesn’t win a million bucks. She doesn’t Outwit, Outplay or Outlast. {You’re having a cross-over crisis. I think you should seek help.} The only good thing is she doesn't need to listen to Just Peachy preach. If she really is the only person left on the planet, then of course her wealth far exceeds the million mark. But then who does she pay when she buys goods and services? Herself? What's the point of flaunting your wealth to yourself? {Perhaps she’ll develop multiple personalities…then she can have conversations with her selves, lend her selves money, charge her selves exorbitant interest. Could be fun.}

She doesn’t want to be Ultimate Survivor, despite the amazing wealth she potentially has. So she starts a bonfire (not of the vanities, heehee) to attract any passers-by.

*****

Now we come to the expositionary part of the program and the obligatory flashback. It’s five days ago, when humankind was still intact. Willow and Xander work at the hospital and they’re losing their fight against this unknown flu virus. They exposition that they’ve run out of medicine. {Can 'exposition' be used as a verb?} (watty: in the same way 'impactful' can be used as a superlative. *smooches to Sally*) The meds are useless anyway. Everyone in the hospital are leaving, jumping ship. Don't blame them. A pretty nurse by the name of Cecile {hey! Cecile is back!} tells Willow she should leave too, before she too succumbs and like, dies. {Yeah, that would like, suck.} Cecile sounds wise. How wise? You know all this "when I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom"? Substitute Mother Mary with Nurse Cecile, and you get the picture. If I were Willow, I’d leave with her, this girl’s quite a looker too. {This is true, but Tara is waiting for Willow…so, "let it be."} (watty: I'm supposed to groan here, aren't I?)

But out of some twisted sense of guilt or Superman syndrome, Willow stays at the hospital. {Our spunky redhead is just dedicated. Give her a break, ya cynic.} At the end of her shift, she goes to the break room and falls asleep. Ha! The number of times I’ve seen Mark Greene go into an empty room or a closet to sleep, I just know someone’s gonna wake her up. Oh man, it’s Xander in ICU. He’s bad. Some time later, we cut to Willow running toward his room, only to see docs trying to shock him back to life. No can do. "Time of death, fifteen thirty two." Even more time later, Willow is released by her supervisor and told to leave London before she dies too. {It’s clear that Willow is beloved by many…no one wants to see her die. The rest of the hospital staff? Fuck ‘em! Let ‘em die! DIE! DIE!!!! **ahem** I feel better now.} (watty: you're kinda sick. But I still love ya!)

She drives and drives. See earlier in this recap re: Claire driving into the sunset at the end of SFU. There are no similarities. {Ya don’t say!} Eventually she pulls into a service station and clues into the fact that something is wrong [*You mean even more wrong -- Sars*] when she tries to shop for some supplies and army guys shoots at her. She escapes by the barest skin of her teeth. {Someone get this girl some Colgate! She has skin on her teeth! Eeeewwww!!!!}

Then what does she do? She walks for hours and hours, while knowing that armed and dangerous men are out there. Why doesn’t she hide? Or more importantly, why doesn’t she steal a car? {Or maybe she wants to stay as far away as possible from the INFECTED bodies. Or maybe she doesn’t want to attract attention to herself by being the ONLY vehicle driving around. Or maybe it just adds to the plot suspense.} May be she doesn’t know how to hot-wire, but really, she’s not thinking straight. {Thank the Goddess for that! I hate it when hot women think straight! They need to think GAY!}

We see her again looking like complete shit {See above re: looking like shit and apply to Willow as well.} and I’m confused because it’s apparently she’s been walking for a day. Doesn’t make sense. It’s like in action films where the heroine overpowers the armed guards of the bad guy’s fortress but continues on her exploration without taking the guard’s gun. Why, why, why? {A firm believer in gun control? Maybe Willow is trying to help out with the energy crisis.}


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She sees smoke far away and somehow she finds the energy to run toward it. It’s Tara burning the farm. {What story were you reading? She didn’t burn the farm…she was burning shit around the farm. Skimmer!} (watty: author's license! Burning up the whole farm reads more interesting than burning shit around the farm.) God knows why, she needs the shelter and food. May be she’s a pyromaniac? No time to wonder why because Willow faints at the sight of Tara. {Wouldn’t you? And, are we sure that was a faint and not a swoon?}

*****

Willow wakes up in the bedroom and sees an angel called Tara. {Why is she always an angel? Why can’t she be a cherub or a sprite?} (watty: alright, alright. She's a Sprite. A Diet Sprite Zero or Sprite 3G or even Aruba Jam Sprite Remix) They spend some time introducing themselves and connecting. Willow tells Tara she walked from London and about the militia. Tara tells Willow how happy she is that she isn’t Ultimate Survivor. {Seek therapy, watty.}

And they spend the next few days and weeks in near domestic bliss. Considering it’s clear that they’re immune to the virus attack, they have a good thing going. They ruin the bliss by embarking on a project to find other survivors. Why? {You’ve already established that Tara and Willow are nice, caring people. Of course they want to find others. Because they are nice and caring! Sheesh!} Willow goes out to forage every day, and they put a bat signal up at night. Again I ask why? To get the attention of the militia? They should just hole up and stay out of trouble, in my opinion. {Imagines watty singing “It always feels like somebody’s watching me” -- PARANOID.} (watty: ) After all, as Tara says when Willow asks whether they’re okay for food, "this is a farm." Snerk.

It’s also clear that the attraction between them is growing. So again why spoil it by having other people in the house? {Potential orgy? Oh wait…Kitten Board…FAQs…nevermind.} They can fend for themselves easily enough, even if Willow has to learn how to chop wood. {Well, she’s not much for the timber. Of course, I guess that might make her want to chop up that wood. Oh, bad mental image!} (watty: Bobbitt!) Hee. It's no good chopping wood with an axe if you're gonna almost decapitate your love with it. Uh-oh, did I say love?

Anyway, they’re living in domestic bliss, making pancakes for breakfast, watching the snow, giving massages to each other (hmmmmm) and then one day Willow spies Tara singing. {'Spies' her singing? So, she can see the singing? Can she hear it too? Just wondering. [/snerk]} She’s in love. One of these days they’re gonna have to kiss. And we fade to another scene where they do (hmmmmm). I learnt a new word recently, {SEMI-COLON! Not a comma.} it doesn't fit this show, but what the hell. That kiss is Hawt! {**Rolls eyes** Dork.}

Another month of domestic bliss. The theme is domestic bliss. I think the writers are trying to contrast the domestic bliss [*Okay! I’m sick of 'domestic bliss,' think of another phrase please -- Sars*] with the bleakness of the world outside. All the more reason for not bothering with that world. {So, in the last recap, you exhibited your issues with puppies and commitment. Now you’re showing your issues with being around people and your paranoia. Yes, definitely seek help.}

But the world comes knocking eventually. Giles and his two god-daughters arrive and invite the girls to join him at the community he’s building. Surprisingly upbeat ending for this episode, considering all the death. {Yet, it’s refreshing. You want all darkness and despair? Sicko.} There's even a gay joke. Will this turn into a darker version of the Eden Project? Or deteriorate into MTV: Real World? No clue. I’m holding onto my secret stash of Tamiflu, thank you very much. {Tamiflu, huh? I bet you have a few other secret stashes.}


Producer: justin.
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[SithLordWiccan]

Fraggle Rock FFWP: I always knew there was something about this fic that I liked. And thanks to FFWP, it just made it all the more obvious. Oh, and who doesn't love a good round of high quality snarkness. Car should be paid for this.

Survivors FFWP: First off...DIBS!

{This is Tara we’re talking about here…she never looks like shit. A bit peaked, maybe, but never like shit.}

Ouch. I'd imagine that there are some middle aged Kittens who are going to take offense to that. Glad I'm not the one who said it.

OK, onto the fb...

Frankly, given the subject matter of "Survivors", I wouldn't have thought it possible that I would have laughed at what was going on. Of course, the awesomely awesome tag team duo of Car and Watt, providing snark at half price, managed to get a lot of laughs out of me. (Though to be honest, at least half of those laughs were of the "I'm so gonna end up in hell for doing this" variety).

[Emms]

OMG! Car, Watty... that was just. SOOO FUNNY!!

We know she’s sick because she has an IV on her arm. Seems that her family helped brought her inside the house, even though they’re jerks. Why? Because she’s the one bringing home the eggs.

Because she's the one bringing home the eggs *breath breath* bringing home the... *breath* eggs! heehee!

Alright, topic. {Thank you.} After the visit to the doctor’s office Tara goes to the church. If the doctor’s office is creepy, the church is like the ultimate horror trainwreck. {Are we projecting again?} (watty: you really know how to push my buttons, dontcha?){Careful, watty...that might be too much of an inside joke.}

I would like to know more about this "button pushing" that's been going on...

A pretty nurse by the name of Cecile {hey! Cecile is back!} tells Willow she should leave too, before she too succumbs and like, dies. {Yeah, that would like, suck.} Cecile sounds wise. How wise? You know all this "when I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom"? Substitute Mother Mary with Nurse Cecile, and you get the picture. If I were Willow, I’d leave with her, this girl’s quite a looker too.

Ahhh yes... the lovely Cecile.... gotta luv cecile...

{It’s clear that Willow is beloved by many…no one wants to see her die. The rest of the hospital staff? Fuck ‘em! Let ‘em die! DIE! DIE!!!! **ahem** I feel better now.} (watty: you're kinda sick. But I still love ya!)

Whoa... *backs away*

She escapes by the barest skin of her teeth. {Someone get this girl some Colgate! She has skin on her teeth! Eeeewwww!!!!}

Willow wakes up in the bedroom and sees an angel called Tara. {Why is she always an angel? Why can’t she be a cherub or a sprite?} (watty: alright, alright. She's a Sprite. A Diet Sprite Zero or Sprite 3G or even Aruba Jam Sprite Remix) They spend some time introducing themselves and connecting. Willow tells Tara she walked from London and about the militia. Tara tells Willow how happy she is that she isn’t Ultimate Survivor. {Seek therapy, watty.}

*falls outta chair*

Another month of domestic bliss. The theme is domestic bliss. I think the writers are trying to contrast the domestic bliss [*Okay! I’m sick of 'domestic bliss,' think of another phrase please -- Sars*] with the bleakness of the world outside. All the more reason for not bothering with that world. {So, in the last recap, you exhibited your issues with puppies and commitment. Now you’re showing your issues with being around people and your paranoia. Yes, definitely seek help.}

kinda makes me wonder what's going to come out next.

[JustSkipIt]

Awesome recap. Particularly love the description of Tara's trip to town and this

Another month of domestic bliss. The theme is domestic bliss. I think the writers are trying to contrast the domestic bliss [*Okay! I’m sick of 'domestic bliss,' think of another phrase please -- Sars*]

. Sure, if you were directing you'd be all "hey, no more domestic bliss; one more disaster please!"Lol. Great job.

[Artemis]

Hee! More awesome snark, and banter too. That's something that I really enjoy, and that I think is crucial to these recaps. Over on twop, I find there's a distinct difference between a good recap of a good show, and a good recap of a bad show - I don't find they work the same way. And I like to think we turned out some pretty good 'shows' here so it's fitting that these recaps fall into my 'good-show-recap' category - although they do take potshots at the subject matter, frequently, it's done in good humour, and a lot of the fun of the recaps is, well, it's kind of like getting a bunch of friends together to watch TV that they like. I like that feeling of genuine affection towards the butt of the joke (especially because, as an Australian, it's in my nature to make fun of everything, including stuff I like).

So, I love the affectionate snark. And the insanity too, of course. And the smuttiness, because it's always a hoot inserting sexual innuendo where none was originally meant to exist (I do that to TV shows all the time). Oh, and that paranoid hiding-behind-couch smiley is adorable.

In the poll, I of course voted for the CrapCo option, as I imagine all responsible citizens would have done. This comfort doll, though, when it says 'customised according to sexual preference', how specific is that? Just male or female options, or can I... I mean, a friend of mine, yeah... get a version customised for someone with a sexual preference for She-Hulk?

[FineyMcFine]

Okay, who has secret stashes? And stashes of what, exactly? Loved the recap, I was chilled reading the first part thinking about bird flu. It also reminded me of a lot of those Stephen King type apocalyse books. And I also liked the tie-in of House, and the snark on Hugh Laurie. It's cross-TV-snark!

[taralicious]

{is that anything like Evian flu? The dreaded virus caused by overpriced WATER…it’s WATER, people!}

It's not just me then, good. You can't tell me that the assembly line dosen't just run all of the bottles under the cold tap in the staff restroom to fill up these bottles of water and then charge people $2.00 for it.

And NO SARS jokes, or you will be very sorry -- Sars*] {I’m with Sars on this one…lay off the bird flu. But I’m okay with the SARS jokes.}

This brings up the Seussian distinction between the SARS-bellied Sneetches and the non-SARS bellied Sneetches.

{But is she bringing home the bacon?}

Can she bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never let you forget you're the mutant cause she's a woman. Enjoli or W-o-m-a-n, depending on if it's the perfume commercial or Raquel Welch singing on "The Muppet Show."

Appropriately it’s called DeathWatch and man, it’s creepy

It could have been called Doomwatch which was another 70's British series written by Kit Pedler and Gerry Davis, who also created the Cybermen for "Doctor Who."
This dovetails beautifully as Terry Nation who created Survivor" also created the Daleks for "Doctor Who."
This is what Douglas Adams referred to as "the fundamental interconnectedness of all things."

{You’re having a cross-over crisis. I think you should seek help.}

Crisis on Infinite Kitten Boards-Now there is a DC Comics miniseries that every W/T fan could be proud of.

May be she’s a pyromaniac

She's a lego-pyromaniac

{Why is she always an angel? Why can’t she be a cherub or a sprite?}

Perhaps she's a Seraphim? Ah yes, Sarah Phim, I knew her well.

After all that, I think I'll go curl up in a darkened corner somewhere and rock gently to myself.

[justin]

Another brilliant recap. It's particularly good the way you picked up on some of the points which were only hinted at in the story. Such as Tara's pyromania (she's also a nymphomaniac, but those bits got removed by the censors *sigh* ) and Willow's pro gun control, energy conserving ways.

Looking forward to the next recap

[fanfictionwithoutpity]

Combined Fraggle Rock & Survivors recap replies


Missocki

*giggles back* Thanks, we love writing the recaps too.

{Do I really have to giggle? How about if I forego the giggling and just say, “Thanks, dude!”}

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Chris

Fraggle Rock recap

You've picked two of the funniest lines from the recap, and one from each of us, how fair-minded of you! I thought I did pretty well with the deadpan humour of "It's a rock, Willow. That belches." But of course Car's "Tara Fraggle would be eaten by her own pussy!" gets the guffaw that comes all the way from the belly (or, um, even lower). {Huh. I wrote something ‘guffaw-worthy’…who’da thunk. **insert pleased expression here**}

Initially I was worried that we'd be adding too many innuendos and sexual tension where it didn't exist. {Obviously, this is not a problem for me.} Programs for young children have no business including anything sexual even though some situations, in an adult context, may suggest otherwise. Bert & Ernie sharing a bedroom, for instance. {Really, they were just good friends. Who shared a bedroom.} What makes me laugh and roll my eyes is the outrage against these wholly imagined subtext -- it shows more about the people protesting than the shows or their creators. *steps off soapbox now* But we're in a recap format, so I have no issue about adding the "text" and messing around with our readers' heads {Or other body parts?}, heehee. Which brings me to a resounding yay to UberSmut! to "Fraggle Orgy"!

Survivors recap

Thanks so much for your comment about the snark and the banter. {Yes, thank you.} It's been a while since we did this (recapping and snarking) and initially I feared that we might be rusty. {Nope, that’s just my joints creeking.} Glad that it worked for you. Understand what you say about recapping a "good" show vs a "bad" show. Prime example are Ace & Sep's recaps of Buffy -- we the readers could almost smell the vitriol that they wanted to sling at the poorer later seasons.

It's kind of like getting a bunch of friends together to watch TV that they like. I like that feeling of genuine affection towards the butt of the joke

You're giving me warm and fuzzy feelings here, and I'm trying to get in a snarky mood to recap Futurtara! Thanks again for this observation, unlike the "professional" twop recappers, I truly believe that the quality of the recap is directly proportional to the show's quality. We wouldn't be snarking on the show if we didn't like it {If we didn’t like it, we’d be snarking even more}, which brings me to your point that we turned out some pretty good shows here on WTTV. Well gosh darn! Of course we did.

it's always a hoot inserting sexual innuendo where none was originally meant to exist

see above comment on FR recap. It's always a pleasure to insert something smutty into a totally unexpected place (and it didn't sound quite so naughty in my head).

Re: the poll, how could I not try to insert (hee, I said insert again) at least one mention of Cyd's ingenius commercials?

This comfort doll, though, when it says 'customised according to sexual preference', how specific is that? Just male or female options, or can I... I mean, a friend of mine, yeah... get a version customised for someone with a sexual preference for She-Hulk?

Well, I'm not a spokesperson for CrapCo, but I believe I saw on their website that they cater for any and all preferences; most of their comfort doll models come with all, um, orifices fully functional. (I can't believe I just said that! Car's Mom didn't believe I even swore, how am I ever going to explain myself to her?) {Mom has placed watty on a pedestal so high, our favorite recapper may develop vertigo.}

{Thank you, Chris. I hold true to my statement that you’re a man among men…and you’re a man who plays with dolls, so even better! }

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Sally

Fraggle Rock recap

TWoP is bloody hilarious, but here at FFWoP we try to develop our own style. Mainly, we're not limited by the rating of the shows we recap. {Really, we’re not limited by anything…except vitriol. **shrug** I just wanted to use that word once.} I think the popularity of smut on the KB, coupled with how chat usually "deteriorates" to sex talk, has us very attuned to the NC-17.

Maybe that says more about me than you, fanfictionwithoutpity, but I didn't sink into this gutter-minded state of being before reading your recap.

Oh well, Sallypants, I don't think we can take full blame/credit for how your mind sank into the gutter. I'm thinking ... preaching to the choir here.

It's a rock, Willow. That belches. It's not qualified to give counseling advice.

The very definition of

Did you, like, compare notes with Chris, since he picked out the same line. *evil laugh* I love how we're corrupting minds as great as Chris and Sally. {Are we corrupting? Or were they already corrupted? I vote for the latter.}

Survivors recap

Okay, who has secret stashes? And stashes of what, exactly?

You can ask, but I won't tell. Hee about cross TV-snark, I love to be clever and insert (hey! I said insert, third time's the charm) references to anything and everything that is clever or relevant (or irrelevant, god knows how I can go totally off-topic suddenly). {Yet you are always clever.}

{Thanks, SillySally. DoH is coming up…and there’s something in there just for you.}

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Debra

Fraggle Rock recap

At work they ban TWoP forums but not the recaps, I have my suspicions that whoever is in charge of network security or proxy servers or whatever it is that bans websites, reads the recaps so they are not banned. Your friend is Jacob? I read his recaps on The Apprentice, he's good, though I'm a Miss Alli groupie so she's still got prime gawk place in my mind.

it fits in so well with the whole full-on multi-media experience of fics, song, graphics, etc

You know how we are here on WTTV, we serve only to please. {And I’m sure that didn’t sound so naughty in your head.}

{Thanks, Debra.}

Survivors recap

if you were directing you'd be all "hey, no more domestic bliss; one more disaster please!"

I'm weird. You should know this by now. If it gets too comfy I get fidgety. {Or nauseous.}

{Thanks for leaving feedback. Carleen}

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Emms

Fraggle Rock recap

Dear, dear Emmy. You are so kind. {The kindest, most bestest, wonderfulest person in the world.}

the fact that we're not privy to all the inside jokes is what, in my opinion, makes it funny and fun to read. It's almost like you're chasing this funny little string around, just trying to keep up

I have a very vivid image of Miss Kitty chasing a little piece of yarn. {Now, then…imagine pigeons flitting around with strings attached to their feet. Now you can get a pretty good image of watty and the pigeons. It’s quite amusing.} Thanks again. {We love you, Emmy.}

Survivors recap

Because she's the one bringing home the eggs *breath breath* bringing home the... *breath* eggs! heehee!

oh my! Don't hyperventilate, my dear. *brings towel, water and chocolate to help Emmy breath* I didn't realize that eggs would have this effect on you, heehee. {Just imagine the effect if Tara was the one bringing home the asparagus.}

{Are we projecting again?} (watty: you really know how to push my buttons, dontcha?){Careful, watty...that might be too much of an inside joke.}

I would like to know more about this "button pushing" that's been going on...

you'll have to wrestle it out of me! {Actually, just give watty a quick glare and she’ll give in.}

I'm so glad you picked out so many of my favorite funny bits. We really had fun making fun of ourselves, though haven't you noticed it's mostly Car making fun of me? {And you love it.}

kinda makes me wonder what's going to come out next

I have it on very good authority that a recap of the Dykes of Hazzard will come out next. {I think it’s time Jerry Falwell came out, don’t you?}

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justin

Fraggle Rock recap

Thanks. Hee, it's a different angle alright, one full of not-so-innocent fraggly things. {Angle schmangle…we flipped the darned thing on its ear!}

Survivors recap

Damn, I thought the BBC was more relaxed with censorship. Hmmm, obviously I have them mixed up with Channel 5 (ooops, it's Five now that they've gone upmarket). I'd love to have seen Tara the nymphomaniac and Willow the redneck, I'm glad we were able to insert (hey! I said insert AGAIN!) some non-apocalyptic events into the recap. {Even though the recap itself can be seen as an apocalyptic event.} Thanks. {Glad you liked it, Justin!}

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taralicious

Fraggle Rock recap

Thanks for your kind comments about the snark. We had a good time writing it. {I think I had more fun…I got to snark on watty too. Tee hee. Thanks, Blayne.}

Survivors recap

The Evian flu part really cracks me up too, everytime I read it. It's an ingenius play on words that I would totally not have thought of. {Sure you would have…eventually. } SARS bellied Sneetches? what are those? {Forgive watty…I’m working on getting her caught up with pop culture.} Thanks also for the Six Degrees of Survivors, it just proves that yes, the world is connected.

After all that, I think I'll go curl up in a darkened corner somewhere and rock gently to myself.

Make sure you have sufficient bottles of water, Evian preferably. Thanks for your feedback, Blayne, it's always appreciated. {Yes, thanks, again, Blayne.}

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Sith

Fraggle Rock recap

Car should be paid for this.

Why do you think I've bought up all the available supplies of collon? {Mmmmm….Collon. That’s some good stuff.}

Survivors recap

I'm glad that the show producers have given us permission (well, they haven't, we just wrote the recaps and relied on their generous natures) to detract from the mood of the show. Thanks for reading, Alex.

{Glad we were able to make you laugh, Alex. I’m happy someone did besides us. Thanks so much for reading! And now it’s time for a language lesson…}

Ouch. I’d imagine that there are some middle aged Kittens who are going to take offense to that. Glad I’m not the one who said it.

{Yup, good thing you didn’t say it. Cuz you’ve pretty much misinterpreted it. “Peaked” (pronounced ‘peak-ed’) means, according to dictionary.com, ‘Having a sickly appearance: You're looking a little peaked today.’…therefore not really having anything to do with age...}
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[fanfictionwithoutpity]

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Title: The Dykes of Hazzard - It’s as plain as the lesbian noses on your faces {Just our noses are lesbians? What about the rest of us?}
Recapper: watty
Additional snark: GayNow {in bold pink}
Rating: R
Disclaimers: BtVS characters belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, The WB, UPN and others. The Dukes of Hazzard characters belong to Lou Step Productions, Warner Brothers, CBS and others.
Summary: Don’t know what a recap is? Read up on televisionwithoutpity.
Notes: Thanks to RKTers for another successful collaboration. Sally McFine for the hazzardy laughs. Hermitfish Media Inc for the commercials. GlaxoWellcome for the gay harmonica. And Car’s Gram for the memorable meatballs and sausage pasta (yes, I still have food on my mind).


I was all set to recap the Love Boat, having done research, listened to the theme song, looked up the meaning of “gopher” and decorated my TV viewing space with appropriate seafaring paraphernalia. {Did it blend in well with your ‘other’ paraphernalia?} I even put on my crisp white captain’s uniform. [*Don’t tell me why you have a captain’s uniform -- Sars*] And what happens? It’s pre-empted because the producer was sick. Yikes. I was madder than a rabbit in a steakhouse but I realized I can’t complain, because we could have been pre-empted by jello-pool wrestling or the weather report. {‘Madder than a rabbit in a steakhouse’ -- what goes on in steakhouses that gets rabbits so mad?}

And it’s the Dukes! Guaranteed wacky fun and laughter. I change from my pristine white sea captain’s uniform into one of my vast collection of checked flannel shirts and ripped jeans. [*And again I won’t ask -- Sars*] Here we go. Yippee-ka-yay! {‘Yippee-ka-yay’? What color is the sky in your world?}

We open with a sweeping shot of Hazzard County, all peaceful and pastel colors and gentle breeze blowing in the background. Gradually we hear soft moans that grow louder and more insistent. So not befitting the scene. {Okay, for the record, soft moans that grow louder and more insistent always benefit any scene. } Slow pan to the hood of an orange hot-rod where Willow Duke and Tara Duke are having a round of the 3Ks -- kiss, lick and suck. Oh I’m crude-o today. {Today?} They’re wearing the most outrageous (if you’re ‘Outraged’ from Smackover, AR; {Now she has her own column. ”Dear watty, My tank top is so tight, people can tell the temperature just by looking at my breasts. My girlfriend likes it, but it kind of embarrasses me. What should I do? ‘Nipply’ in Big Mounds, IA} if you’re a normal person you drool) tight tank tops and short shorts. Their cries and moans don’t go with the peaceful and pastel scenery. {Cries and moans go with any scenery. Sheesh! You need to get laid, watty.} (watty: pot vs kettle, Car? *bats eyelids*) {Remember, I am the one who keeps running out of batteries…um…wait…} But hot! mama! hot! loving!

I contemplate changing from the flannel shirt to something cooler. [*An eskimo suit? -- Sars*] But before things get even hotter and heavier, they’re interrupted by the buzzing of their CB radio {Not the fun kind of buzzing from an electronic device} announcing the imminent arrival of their other cousin Buffy, clad in impossibly short shorts {Those have got to chafe…friction in new places, and not the fun kind of friction, either}. She isn’t there to show off her legs this time, but to tell them that there’s an Evil Boss Wilkins-Hogg Plot afoot. What’s White Suit up to this time? According to Buffy, the Dukes are about to be evicted from their farm. I laugh. {And I guffaw.} How many times has Boss Wilkins-Hogg tried to get their land and how many times has he succeeded? {I don’t know…how many times?} Would have thought that he learns his lesson. {What would make you think he would learn anything? Ah, it’s the itty bitty spark of optimism in you. That will get squelched soon enough.} Hmmm, may be he doesn’t have an A.I. chip inside his head. Heh, don’t knock this chip-in-head business, it’s actually quite ... comforting. Hi, I’m macwatty, I have a mac chip inside my head. {Is this why I have trouble understanding what you’re saying sometimes? Your brain is only compatible with only 5% of the world?} (watty: so if I say: “BLACK!!!” you won’t know what I’m talking about? I think you do.)

We see that Buffy isn’t the ditzy blonde that her attire, or the fact that she’s chewing bubblegum, suggests, because first she notices that Willow’s jeans zipper need adjustment; then she asks Tara why the lovecousins just don’t come out and tell folks they’re together. Tara shrugs and blames it on Willow {She could have blamed it on the rain…c’mon, y’all know that song… Blame it on the raaaaiiiinnn …um, is this thing on?}. Everybody’s got something to hide, but sometimes these so-called secrets when revealed turn out to be no big deal. The joke’s on who now? Buffy and Tara share a moment before Willow returns with a well adjusted zipper. {Did Willow send it to ‘Zipper Bootcamp’ for an attitude adjustment? Were ammonia capsules involved? (That’s for you, Sallypants. *smooch*)}

The cousins make their way back to the farm, but Tara makes sure Willow finishes what she abruptly halted before Buffy’s arrival. Sex in cars is nothing new, but have you tried sex while driving the car? {Yes.} You need to work together in more ways than one. Don’t try it kids! {Don’t listen to watty, she knows not what she says.} You might like it too much! {Okay, listen to watty…this part is right.}

They make good time (they’re fast? hee) and arrive at the farm just in time to see Uncle Giles confront his nemesis. {The Fashion Police?} The sight of Uncle Giles, in bib overalls and dirty red cap chewing on a piece of straw, staring down Wilkins-Hogg, in his white-on-white suit, makes me snigger very hard. {You’re funny when you snigger.} Can you imagine Giles in an ancient tweed suit (elbow patches and all) and carrying a pipe fumbling around the library? Major snerk.

Anyway Wilkins-Hogg is spewing some lie about Giles growing pot on the farm. Come on, Boss, your excuses are getting weak. {But his teeth aren’t…have you seen his incisors? Amazing!} You try to pin something on Giles every week, you think he’s dumb enough to be as blatant as growing pot on his farm where it can be found easily? Giles dismisses him. {With a flick of his wrist and a flip of his hair…oh wait, we aren’t doing the Giles’ Angels recap, are we?} But before Boss leaves, he informs the Dukes that he’s sending in the big guns ... in the form of a tax audit. Heh, an audit is enough to send shivers up most people’s spine but the Dukes are unfazed. Does anything faze them? [*A phaser? No, don’t bother, I’ll eviscerate myself -- Sars*] Even when Giles notices the “69” painted in bold black letters at the side of the hot-rod, all he does is clean his glasses. He’s more concerned that the lovecousins take a shipment of vegetative matter to Atlanta pronto than what they get up to recreationally. I like Giles. {Only because he shares your love of tea.}

Here’s Buffy. Psst, I know a secret about Buffy. She went to Stanford. It’s a big secret! But it’s no big fucking deal. And I don’t know what my point is. {Your point is on your head.} (watty: har har, very funny. Not.) {It was kinda funny…okay, no it wasn’t.} Anyway what does she do with that expensive Ivy League education? She waitresses. Though she’ll say there is an ulterior motive because there’s always an ulterior motive. {As opposed to some-other-terior motive.}[br]

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She hangs out with her pretty waitress friend Cecile. {Woot! She’s back again!} Okay, this is officially making me sit up and notice. Another Cecile? So far we had mail delivery Fraggle Cecile followed by Nurse Cecile. Something’s up. {Your IQ? Nah.} Cecile helpfully gives Buffy the latest gossip that a new blonde has wheeled into town working for Boss Wilkins-Hogg and is all over Xander Strate. Now Buffy has been giving Deputy Xander the string-a-long for a while now, all in the name of getting information from him, of course. {Certainly not in the name of playing with his string.}

She runs out (the cameraman making sure we get an eyeful of the wiggling of the pretty ass in the tight shorts) and informs the lovecousins that the new enemy is anchored at Rhuebottom’s. {Poor Rhue with the anchor in the bottom. That must be painful.} They have some CB-coded convo about pigeons and coops which I don’t understand. Isn’t it funny how special interest groups usually have their own language? Imagine a convo between a CB ham and a h4x0r {Do I have to?}, which part is understandable to the common person?
[blockquote]
CB Daddy: breaker breaker one-nine
ircdude: /j0in #19 ?u@
CB Daddy: double nickeling behind a four wheeler, one more minute and he’s in a meatwagon
ircdude: XD ... h8 n00bies
CB Daddy: need yer help to get an equalizer fixed up, don’t want another Christmas card from Smokey Bear, nodamene?
ircdude: np, ez job lol
CB Daddy: copy that. I’ll slip you some shiny on the rebound
ircdude: kewl, dl-ing pr0n = boring, nsfw sux
CB Daddy: oh dude, no beaver action?
ircdude:
ircdude: k gtg, ttyl
CB Daddy: roger, catch ya on the flip-flop. Out
[/blockquote]

{I have to tell you that this entire exchange frightens me. I’m afraid. Very afraid.}

Her next destination is the sheriff’s office, where she lays it on very thickly for Deputy Xander. {Um what is she laying on thickly? Chocolate syrup? Strawberry pudding?} The drool from Deputy Xander is enough to necessitate breaking out the mop and bucket. Buffy drawls and draws the information from Xander with a smoothness that is rivaled only by the likes of Henry Gondorff or Danny Ocean. {:wtf} Xander has no clue he’s getting pumped (heh, I said “pumped,” did anyone go to a scary visual place?). {Do you have an enema fetish? And…I have no idea what that means.}

*****

Meanwhile, back from their herb run to Atlanta, the lovecousins are at Cooter’s garage, having their hot-rod looked at. {Is their ‘hot-rod’ detachable?} (watty: I’m surprised you didn’t ask what color. Oh wait, it’s orange. [/straight face]) Cooter makes a several innuendo-laden cracks which get Willow’s tail feathers all ruffled up. {I’ll bet Tara loves ruffling Willow’s tail…feathers.} Cooter asks how they like driving stick and Tara aptly points out that she feels awkward doing it. Snerk.

Willow ignores Cooter’s sally and gets ready to infiltrate Rhuebottom’s through the secret trap door in Cooter’s garage. {Really glad she isn’t infiltrating Rhue’s bottom.} Did you know that all secret passages in Hazzard County lead to Cooter’s garage?

They discover that someone has indeed set up shop in Rhuebottom’s bottom, er, basement. There are forms in all colors but they say one thing ... that the Dukes owe Uncle Sam some serious tax money. Now if Willow and Tara were ordinary country folks, they’d be scared shitless (or in their case, shirtless or shortless); but they’re cleverer than they appear to be. {What are you saying about the way society perceives women in short shorts and skimpy tank tops?} May be they went to an expensive Ivy League college too. {Or they just know how to keep the fox out of the hen-house. Damned foxes.}

Turns out that good old Uncle Giles has a secret too. {He has a tattoo of Bettie Page on his back?} His name isn’t Jesse Giles Duke. {Is that all?} Tara gets the dirt from Willow using some old-fashioned, irresistible tongue-down-throat torture technique. Heh, Rupert. Uncle Giles is called Rupert. Now can you imagine the tweed suit and the pipe? {Nope…just the tea and crumpets.}

But before they can ruminate on Uncle Giles’ alter ego as a high school librarian, the lovecousins are interrupted by the arrival of The Tax Inspector. Gasp. Have you heard the one about the tax inspector who needed a heart transplant? The surgeon sent his O.R. nurse to the garden to look for a similar sized stone. *waits for response* Not funny? You expect tax inspector jokes to be funny? You pay too many taxes. {No shit, Sherlock, erm, watson, uh, nevermind.}

The lovecousins manage to convince the tax inspector that the forms are forgeries on the basis that they don’t show Uncle Giles’ real name. See how having secrets sometimes help? Hmmm. We’re not teaching the kids good lessons here. {Fortunately, this is not a kids’ show! Of course, that didn’t stop us with Fraggle Rock.}

The tax inspector, aka Anya Jenkins, is outraged at the temerity of Boss Wilkins-Hogg, he who dares to con the IRS. {Did Anya really get outraged at his ‘temerity’? Or was she pissed off that he had the balls to try it?} Heinous! They agree to play Boss at own game. I hope it doesn’t come back and bite them on the ass, entrapment doesn’t always work out. {But they might like the bite in the ass all the same…just depends on who is doing the biting.}

We’re at Cooter’s garage. {**looks around** We are?} The lovecousins walk in on Cooter and Buffy practising the same old-fashioned, irresistible tongue-down-throat torture technique that Tara was using on Willow. Okay, so here’s another couple of people who don’t exactly drive stick. Tara asks Buffy the same question Buffy asked her earlier, about being open with her love life. Buffy shrugs and blames it on Xander. {Poor Xander…they blame everything on the guy with his IQ in his schlong. Hey, at least it wasn’t another chorus of ‘Blame it on the Rain.’} (watty: okay, I had to look up schlong. Carleen! You’re baaaaaad!)

Now we come to the car chase part of the episode where Snyder tries to catch Willow but he doesn’t have the driving skills or the tune-up. I love this part. Buckle your seatbelts children. Here we go. Yee-haw!

Sigh. You know what, it’s no use recapping a car chase, and I’ve tried. “Hot-rod speeds down road, cruiser on its tail. Hot-rod screeches round a corner, cruiser follows but takes the corner a little wide and smoke burns from its tires. Hot-rod accelerates up a dirt-ramp, flies through the air with the grace of an orange albatross and lands perfectly on the other side of the creek; cruiser tries the same stunt but ends up face down on the creekbed.”

No. Doesn’t really work. Need visuals. Use your imagination.

{Oh! Let me try!....}



*****

Final confrontation.

The lovecousins drive up to the farm, this time at a more normal speed. They greet Giles, Deputy Xander and Inspector Anya who are enjoying a cool lemonade at the porch.

Boss Wilkins-Hogg and Snake Snyder pull up in their respective vehicles. Shortly after, the state police and the feds show up. Boss Wilkins-Hogg is smug. He’s thinking to himself, finally I have your farm, Jesse Giles. {Hey! Give him credit for thinking at all.}

Not so fast, Boss.

Inspector Anya gives the feds evidence that Boss and Snake forged tax documents. The IRS cares about how slobs of cash is coming its way, it doesn’t accept dirty slobs. Gasp. The IRS cares. The IRS works in mysterious ways. [*Repeat after me, “ohhhhmmmm” – Sars*]

Boss struggles as the feds cuff him. {Are they fuzzy cuffs? Leopard fur? Do they go with his white suit?} (watty: I couldn’t resist.) In desperation he blurts out that the Dukes grow pot on their farm.

Oh no! Another secret is revealed. {Okay, really…Giles using wacky weed? Isn’t he mellow enough?} The Dukes are in collusion with none other than Jenny Calendar, who has the state monopoly on new age herbs, oils and candles.

Is that it?

See? Secrets that we think are secrets are never any biggie. {Unless the secret is about Sally’s…oh wait…promised not to tell. My bad.}

And having learnt their lesson, Willow tells the folks about her love for Tara. I’d stifle a yawn if those two didn’t look so darn cute together. <*A yawn? How dare you fall asleep at the climax? And I’m betting that’s not the first time those words have been said to you, watty -- SallyMcFine*> (watty: oh Sally, I wish I have more than a passing acquaintance with the concep of ‘climax.’) Faith and Buffy tell all too and that gets a slightly more surprised response. {Probably everyone is surprised that it took them this long to say anything at all…or it was relief that there would be no shotgun weddings for the Dukes.}

Giles? He’s with Aunt Bea. Hee. {At least he’s not with Barney Fife…or Opie.}


Producer: SallyMcFine.
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[SithLordWiccan]

I'm glad that the show producers have given us permission (well, they haven't, we just wrote the recaps and relied on their generous natures)

They have generous natures? That's not what I've heard. Of course, to tell would result in my own ass getting thrown to the fire, and I don't think I've built up enough cred to get away with it.

{Glad we were able to make you laugh, Alex. I’m happy someone did besides us. Thanks so much for reading!

No problem. Happy to please the board's resident Dark Lords of the Snark. (Feel free to steal that phrase for future use. It's not like I've got a patent on it or anything.)

{Yup, good thing you didn’t say it. Cuz you’ve pretty much misinterpreted it. “Peaked” (pronounced ‘peak-ed’) means, according to dictionary.com, ‘Having a sickly appearance: You're looking a little peaked today.’…therefore not really having anything to do with age...}

Damn words that have double meanings. I wish we could get rid of them all together. (Then again, I think we'd lose a good chunk of the dicitionary if we did...)

Anyways, onto my thought on the FFWP recap of "Dykes"

It’s as plain as the lesbian noses on your faces {Just our noses are lesbians? What about the rest of us?}

{Did it blend in well with your ‘other’ paraphernalia?}

I hope so. You know how bad those things clash.

Guaranteed wacky fun and laughter.

Among other things.

{Okay, for the record, soft moans that grow louder and more insistent always benefit any scene. }

Well, maybe not all scenes. I just can't imagine soft moans growing louder and insistent working in some scenarios. (Then again, we got full blown Japanese moster sex thanks to Chris, so I guess anything's possible.)

{Now she has her own column. ”Dear watty, My tank top is so tight, people can tell the temperature just by looking at my breasts. My girlfriend likes it, but it kind of embarrasses me. What should I do? ‘Nipply’ in Big Mounds, IA}

Maybe you should. It would make a lot more people pay more attention to the weather report, at any rate. (I kid, I kid...)

friction in new places, and not the fun kind of friction, either}.

I think I speak for everyone when I say...TMI! TMI!

She isn’t there to show off her legs this time

Damnit! I just can't get a break, can I?

Sex in cars is nothing new, but have you tried sex while driving the car? {Yes.}

Again, I say...TMI! TMI!

{Don’t listen to watty, she knows not what she says.} You might like it too much! {Okay, listen to watty…this part is right.}

HA!

She hangs out with her pretty waitress friend Cecile. {Woot! She’s back again!}

She seems to be everywhere these days.

Now Buffy has been giving Deputy Xander the string-a-long for a while now, all in the name of getting information from him, of course. {Certainly not in the name of playing with his string.}

I kinda think that Xander has enough time playing with his string all by his lonesome after talking with Buffy. (OK, now I the one giving TMI. Did I just channel Car and Watty there? )

[blockquote]
CB Daddy: breaker breaker one-nine
ircdude: /j0in #19 ?u@
CB Daddy: double nickeling behind a four wheeler, one more minute and he’s in a meatwagon
ircdude: XD ... h8 n00bies
CB Daddy: need yer help to get an equalizer fixed up, don’t want another Christmas card from Smokey Bear, nodamene?
ircdude: np, ez job lol
CB Daddy: copy that. I’ll slip you some shiny on the rebound
ircdude: kewl, dl-ing pr0n = boring, nsfw sux
CB Daddy: oh dude, no beaver action?
ircdude:
ircdude: k gtg, ttyl
CB Daddy: roger, catch ya on the flip-flop. Out
[/blockquote]

Why do I see that scene from "Austin Powers in Goldmember" when Dr. Evil and Goldmember do that trucker thing when I read this?

{:wtf} Xander has no clue he’s getting pumped (heh, I said “pumped,” did anyone go to a scary visual place?).

Yes. And thanks a lot. Now I'm not gonna be able to sleep for about three days. (though I think that's a good thing, considering my situation...)

Meanwhile, back from their herb run to Atlanta, the lovecousins are at Cooter’s garage, having their hot-rod looked at. {Is their ‘hot-rod’ detachable?}

*groan*

Cooter asks how they like driving stick and Tara aptly points out that she feels awkward doing it.

And a big neon sign flashes on the screen saying "FORESHADOWING! PAY ATTENTION, FOLKS!"

We’re at Cooter’s garage. {**looks around** We are?} The lovecousins walk in on Cooter and Buffy practising the same old-fashioned, irresistible tongue-down-throat torture technique that Tara was using on Willow. Okay, so here’s another couple of people who don’t exactly drive stick.

Can't say I blame them.

{Poor Xander…they blame everything on the guy with his IQ in his schlong.

On behalf of all Male Kittens, I say..."HEY!"

No. Doesn’t really work. Need visuals. Use your imagination.

{Oh! Let me try!....}

Oh, no. Car's going to use her imagination. Run for the hills!

Nice recap. And personally, I can't wait to see the snark fest for "She-Ra".

[FineyMcFine]

There are many funny, groan-inducing, guffaw-inducing, and smirk-inducing moments in this recap. I was lucky to have a sneak preview - but there were some elements missing from the preview and present in the actual that took it to a new level. And chief among them is the turn-by-turn Yahoo Maps thingy for the car chase scene. I think my cheeks hurt from grinning so much in reading it. CREATIVE city, man.

I was also glad to learn about watty's enema fetish. That made the recap very impactful. And what KB post is complete without a Milli Vanilli sniplet? Great job, guys.

[tarawhipped]

Car and Watty: I have to admit I'd never heard of TWoP until The Amazing Kitten Race, and since I don't watch any shows regularly, I don't generally think to read their snarkfests. When I have, however, it's been amusing as hell, and you two are doing a bang-up job with the fanfiction version. I'm really enjoying the back-and-forth between you two, and the different fonts are very helpful for clueless people like me who might otherwise get confused (hence my requests in chat for people to change their damn fonts).

All three have been great thus far...I'm especially loving the polls...but in Dykes, you really outdid yourselves with the mapquest. Fucking awesome! The little icons had me all giggly. They reminded me of a Roz Chast cartoon of "road signs you never want to see," my favorite of which was "THINGS next 200 feet" (or whatever distance). Hilarious. Y'all rock!

-Cam

[JustSkipIt]

Ha - o - freaking - ha.

The Yahoo car chase recap is fantastic. Really. Really. My favorite thing in I can't say how long. Were there other funny bits? Heck yeah, all through. But the yahoo car chase recap has basically expunged all other comments from my mind.

As an aside, last week the guy who sits next to me at work needed directions somewhere and he went to yahoo for it. Step #1 was "go 43 feet west to Congress Avenue." No kidding: 43 feet. It obviously didn't take into account his desk location because I'm pretty sure 43 feet due West of his desk is the machine room but I could imagine that the road is 43 feet from the outside wall of the building.

Ha ha ha ha.