A Moment of Truth

[Tiggrscorpio]

My mom is very ill. She had a seizure on Wednesday. It was very unexpected because it's been almost a year and half since her last one. Prior to that she was having them quite regularly.

I'm worried that her time here may be quite limited though, at 73, I still consider her to be rather young. I'm quite independent, over 40, and live 3000 miles away from my folks, but this weeks events have shown me that I'm not in any way prepared for a world that doesn't include her.

If you're fortunate to have had a close relationship with your mom growing up, like I did, than you understand the potential loss. No one will pay quite as much attention to me or love me as unconditionally as she has. So, I'm scared.

If you're lucky enough to have someone in your life that you love dearly, tell them! And, if you're so inclined and still able to, tell your mom how much she means to you.

[dorksrcool]

So this is definitely the best time to do this 'cause I'm fucking drunk....

I am alone. I never get hit on by women, but I meet my fair share of gay men and straight men.

I'm genuinely scared I will never meet another woman to be intimate with. Never meet another woman to love and love me in return.

[inlerf]

i really want someone, or people, who can be completely open and just plunge into a deep friendship/relationship with me; instead of having to make meaningless small talk, gradually probe, afraid of what the other person might be thinking and thus hold back, needing to take unnecessary, copious amounts of time to merely know a slice of the person. why take such a long-winded way alone, when with the short-cut, if you dare, also end up the same destination? and with the latter, you get to spend the time trying to cautiously know the other person on doing better things, more pleasurable things together.

no one i know can, thus viewing my extremely direct, straight-to-the-point "can we be friends? can we just say/ask whatever we want?" approach weird--not that i mind, but i'm just sick of acquaintanceship here.

[i have a friend who took on my opinion on this; within 6 months we totally adore each other, to the point of love--platonically, of course. (and it's still ongoing)]

[db]

I feel really paralyzed about the important big decisions I have to make in my life right now. I have no idea what is the right choice and I can't put off deciding for much longer..

[dynigirl]

I'm not sure I have made the right decision to move 90 miles away from from friends who keep me saine and the place I call home, for a job that I am not convinced I am doing very well at.

[Candleshoe]

Some of us are seriously considering staging a hostile takeover at work. If we don't do something pretty soon, I have a horrid feeling the firm will go bust.

[oneyedchicklet]

I quit smoking back in January and I've been doing well. I'm not using any patches or anything anymore. However, I'm eating a bunch of crap and still not gaining weight. My doctor is contantly concerned about my lack of ability to gain weight. I'm not tall, I'm in fact very small so I'm fairly propotioned but he's very concerned about it. Everytime I go to him, he trys to come up with a new diet that isn't working. We both thought for sure that quitting cigarettes would help with the weight gain but even that hasn't worked.

HUGS
Barb

[Twisted Minstrel]

My parents never married; being 'illegitimate,' I've always had a sense of being unwanted - a feeling that has never quite gone away.

[Emms]

My real name is not actually Emms or Emmy. But I never go by my real name (cos I hate it) the only person that calls me (insert birth name here) is my mother...and she's only allowed to because she's my Mommy. Even Tori wont use my real name 'cos she knows I'll get cranky.

[kindagay]

Emms isn't really Emms Now my world is torn assunder.

My truth: I actually watch Big Brother .....

..........& I like it

Hugs
Jeanne

[Emms]

Oh don't worry, sweetie. I've been "Emmy" in RL so long that most of the time I can't even remember what my real name is. Emms feels like it's my real name, even though technically, it's not. Tori calls me Emmy, Tori's mom calls me Emms all of my babies (except my niece) call me Emmy...and everyone here on the board.

[oneyedchicklet]

If you are not Emms or Emmy, I shall call you Sue.

HUGS
Barb

[Emms]

Damn...

Topic: I have no other "moment of truth" right now....

[Emms]

Tori is leaving me. I think on some level I always knew it would come to this…I just thought that if I never said it out loud…that…that would somehow stop it from happening. I don’t know what to say.. I don’t know what to feel or do or think. I’m so pissed off and hurt and everything else… I don’t even have any words…everything is just nothing…it’s all nothing.

[oneyedchicklet]

Emms,
I'm so sorry. I really don't know what to say knowing how much you love her. Please know that I will be here for you if you ever need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on.

HUGS
Barb

[Emms]

If I start crying I might not be able to stop.

[DelWhicker]

Emms, I'm so sorry to hear your news. I wish there was something I could say, witty and wise, to help make you feel better, but I have nothing. So instead, if you start to cry, just know I'll be crying with you.

Big hugs sweetie.

[Emms]

Thank you Del...thank you so much.

[Darth Pacula]

Emms, while I can't claim to know you or Tori very well (or at all, for Tori), I couldn't not comment on this.

It ... well, it sucks. It sucks humongous arse. Not especially insightful, but I'm so sorry for you. If nothing else, I just hope that things somehow work out for the both of you.

[Candleshoe]

Like Darth, I just wanted to say something, anything, to let you know that I am so sorry.

You are in my thoughts and prayers...

Take care of yourself,
with love
C

[FemaleOfTheSpecies]

Emms, I barely know you at all, but I wanted you to know that all the way over that big expanse of water I'm thinking of you. I am so sorry xx

[lea jane]

Emms
I'm so sorry...I don't often post on this board but I'm here every day I feel I know you all so well I really need to post more take care..

[willlovestara]

Emms, I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. I'm not very good with words, but I'm thinking of you.
Hannah.

[Kaia]

Emms...
I know there probably isn't a single thing any of us can say to make the pain go away. So I'm gonna wish you peace of mind and strenght to face what's coming and hope everything turns out the best way it can for you.
You're in my prayers.

K.

[Emms]

I just...I want to thank everyone for your kind words and sincerity...It means so much to me. As of right now I'm just hanging out, waiting to see what is going to happen between Tori and I, and trying not to feel like my world is coming to an end. I love all of you.

Kaia ~ Thank you for that.
Hannah ~ Thank you
FemaleOfTheSpecies ~ Thank you so much
lea jane ~ I know exactly what you mean, and thank you.
Candleshoe ~ Thank you, sweetie...your words mean so much to me.
Paul ~ Thank you for your words.

[Thianne]

i'm late.....i had a truth to write, but now it just doesn't seem important.
i don't really know you, emms, but even from italy i'm thinking of you, if it helps. *hugs really tight*
i'm sorry i can't say nothing more.....

[kindagay]

Emms, *HUGS*
I'm so sorry to hear about you & Tori, I can't imagine what you must be going through.

I don't know exactly what comfort I can offer you, except to say that, I know it's very difficult to believe this now, but it will get easier, the pain that you're feeling now will become more bearable. And all of your friends on the board are here for you, to help you get through this.

If you need to talk, I'm always here, & if you just need hugs, I'm here for that too (I'm just sorry that they're only virtual hugs).

Uhm, so, I don't know what else to say, just remember that we all love you & are always here for you.

Lots of big hugs
Jeanne

[dynigirl]

Emms I'm not so great with words so I'll keep it short. Take one day at a time and take care. Your in my prayers Dyni

[SithLordWiccan]

Emms, I am so sorry to hear this. My heart really aches for you right now, and I really wish there was something I could do to make you feel better (and no, this isn't "Alex The Kitten Goodwill Ambassador" talking. This is "Alex The Person Who Worries About His Friends" talking).

I just want you to know that if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, a punching bag to vent your frustrations, or just a sympathetic ear, feel free to send a holler my way.

I'm here for you, Emms.

*hugs*

[db]

Emms.

Sweetie. I am so, so terribly sorry.

I am sorry I am so late to say this. I was being busy out wrestling with my own impeding end of relationship.

I just. What is there to say? I don't know you well, but I can see every day I visit this board how very much you are loved. Use your community... and if you ever want an ear from someone who is currently wrestling similar demons. Well, I'm all ears.

Davya