The Questions and (un)-Answers game

[Auburn]

A: Cheating is hiding your wife/husband under your bum whilst playing black jack.

Q: Why are scary movies only scary when they have strange music?

[SithLordWiccan]

Q: Because, as the Star Wars films have taught us, the music makes or breaks a film. If it wasn't for the music, horror movies wouldn't be scary. I mean, just take a look at how many sucky horror movies there are compared to good ones.

A: Speaking of Star Wars, why do all Star Wars fanfilms just have to have their lightsaber duels take place in a forest?

[Candleshoe]

A: Because without the music it's just a bunch of dumb people making very unrealistic choices about walking into rooms without turning the light on, having sex, answering the telephone, failing to own a baseball bat, befriending hitch-hikers and not commenting on obvious nutter-ness.

Q: Why are Vitamin C tablets typically orange flavoured?

[dynigirl]

A: Because scary monsters can only dance to music, they can't actually walk if it is silent.

Q: What happens to the odd socks?

[SithLordWiccan]

A: They get eaten by the garden gnomes.

Q: How come three of us responded to the same question?

[Auburn]

A: Because Sith was stalking me, Miss Shoe was stalking Sith, and Dynigirl was stalking Miss Shoe.

Q: What's the point in music?

[Candleshoe]

A: Music has a point because dancing would look stupid without it.

Q: What's the difference between right and left handed scissors?

[dynigirl]

A: Just general noise that sometimes makes you happy, sometimes makes you sad and sometimes is just there.

Q: Who is Auburn stalking?

[SithLordWiccan]

A: Everybody

Q: Who is the Prince of the Universe? For that matter, who are the Queen and King of the Universe? And what about the Princess?

[Candleshoe]

I know we're not supposed to comment but if Auburn is stalking everybody I shall feel most miffed : I thought I was special...

A: The Prince of the Universe - the bloke who runs my local chip shop. The rest are his family, duh!

Q: Why the sudden flurry of activity in this thread? Usually it's quiet for days!

[dynigirl]

A I guess all the random people came out to play

Q What defines a stalker?

[SithLordWiccan]

A: Rabid fanboys.

Q: What would happen when you crossed a duck with a fog machine?

[db]

A: A fowl mist. Like after my dog ate the brie.

Q: Is it my imagination, or are they flirting?

[SithLordWiccan]

A: That depends. Who are "they?"

Q: And for that matter, what the hell is an "Aluminum Falcon?"

[Candleshoe]

A: They are flirting. Who's flirtiing? Am I missing something db?

Q: Why are joss sticks called joss sticks?

[SithLordWiccan]

Q: They weren't supposed to be "joss sticks". They were supposed to be "just sticks", but some yutz fouled up on the packaging. Said yutz was properly disposed of in the usual manner befitting his lack of brains.

A: Who are you, and what the hell are you doing with my toy spaceship?

[Candleshoe]

A: I'm Candleshoe, and thats a very personal question.

Q: Elixir. Odd word or not?

[Krazy Dreamer]

A: Well, not so much odd as inaccurate. Shelixir just makes so much more sense. The word came from the healing powers of... well, never mind, don't want to get X-rated here.

Q: What is the square root of pi?

[DelWhicker]

A: There are no pies made of square roots. Humble Pie's record covers are square. Therefore, the square root of pi must be Humble Pie.

Q: When dogs bark to each other at 4:30am, what are they saying that's so important that it can't wait until a much more decent time?

[Darth Pacula]

A: When dogs are barking to each other at 4:30 in the AM, they are telling each other something along the lines of the following: (the names of those involved have been changed to protect the innocent)

Rusty: Oi, Phyllis! Wake up!
Phyllis: What? I was having a right ripper of a dream.
Rusty: Sorry, but you really have to see this! Watch how quickly I can get my stupid two-legs out of bed!


So basically, your dogs are just winding you up.

Q: What three diverse elements should I include in my next plot to conquer the world?

[Useful_Oxymoron]

A: Pizza, olive oil and peanut-butter. Together, they combine to make the most powerful nerve-gas on the planet.

Q: Ancient cultures all had many gods. Where'd they all go?

[kindagay]

A: They all retired to Hawaai

Q: How come I'm so thirsty today?

Hugs
Jeanne

[oneyedchicklet]

A: Because the drink faries sprinkled their dust on you.

Q: Why can mothers be so picky?

HUGS
Barb

[Thianne]

A: duh! because they aren't really our moms! they give birth to us, then they are eliminated by vicious shapeshifting aliens that come on earth with the sole purpose of torment us. it's a cosmic conspiracy.

Q: where did my hand go?

[SithLordWiccan]

A: I cut it off and sold it on E-Bay.

Q: Think I can get 55 more posts done today?

[Useful_Oxymoron]

A: Only if you're Arnold J. Rimmer and write the phrase 'I am a fish' under 55 different threads.

Q: In England, why do they need dozens of hounds, loads of horses and about fifty idiots in red coats and black hats to hunt just one fox?

[FineyMcFine]

A: Same reason they wear giant hats to weddings and funerals: because they're English and because they can.

Q: What did the blind carpenter say when he picked up his hammer and saw?

[DelWhicker]

A: Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard?

Q: Why isn't there an amusement park at Area 51 yet?

[Auburn]

A: Because the Aliens would mistake the tea cups for space crafts and try using them to escape.... if they were successful then there would be no Brad and Angelina.

Q: What goes boom boom boom?

[Useful_Oxymoron]

A: The big thumper that scares away all the giant flesh-eating sandworms.

Q: Is the Loch Ness monster real?