Continuing Fic: Coming Back (Updated 01/18/08)

[WillowRTaraM1]

yes!! ahh this just made my life.. off to read!

ok now after I've read..

That was sooo angsty!! I had to break out my stash of cookie dough while reading this sucker.. geez.. car what are you trying to pull here?? Haha.. just kidding.. you know I love it.

It was great how Buffy supported Willow.. but uh.. she seemed a little *too* close.. haha i've never been that affectionate with my best friends.. creepy!

The ending made up for all the angst.. loved it! More of this please

[WillowRulez]

Wow. I dont think I am eloquent enough to write appropriate feedback.
At first I was a little confused but then I reread the last lines of the prior update and finally got it. Dawn seemed very nice for once! Though it is a little strange that WIllow said *My neighbor? She never comes by*
Really liked the ending! Hope we'll see what happens next real soon.

[Willow~Rosenberg]

Wow. That was such an emotional update. I'm glad that Buffy told Tara the part of the story that she didn't know. Willow and Tara really need to talk things over. Loved Buffy's line about not having Tara apologize to her... that Willow needed to hear it. So true. Anyway, such an emotional (and long!) update. I look forward to seeing how things unfold.

[mole]

I'm jumping on the tease band wagon. All of that exposition, all that pain and catharsis and yet, we STILL don't know what the hell Willow said to keep Tara from showing up or speaking to for a year?! And you drop in another cliff-hangery bit about something happening to Donnie? Car, you are an evil, evil woman.

But...I LOVE this story!

I've just spent 9 hours driving to my hometown for a memorial service, so I'm a bit cashed. More coherent feedback in a day or two. But I wanted to say thank you for the update. The emotional realness and intensity of this story continues to amaze me.

Michelle

ETA I've a few moments to myself so time for feedback.

I'll echo the sentiments of others in saying that your writing is very concrete. Not in a big clunky, building material way. but in an able to feel it, see it, smell, hear it kind of way. Somehow, through perfect word choice, tempo control, detail, and very realistic dialog, you manage to transmit the feelings of the characters directly to the gut of the reader. I felt Buffy's anxiety in not being able to reach Willow. I wept for Willow's pain and the undoubtedly painful recovery. Visceral is a word I'd use, if I was pressed to come up with just one, to describe your writing. Very powerful, moving stuff.

Willow and Tara are both so wrapped up in their own shrouds of guilt that they can't see the love still woven between them. Throughout the entire year of their separation, neither of them could grasp that the other was hurting too and that, despite hurtful words said in haste and anger, they are both very deserving of love and of each other. Of course, I say that like it's easy to admit that although wrong, one is still worthy. I think recognizing and accepting self-worth and the love of those dearest to us is one of the most difficult things for humans to do.

But, our girls are getting it, albeit slowly (Damn Car, you sure know how to drag out the emotional ringer, don't ya?). The end of this update was just perfect - Of course they find the comfort they both seek in each other. Now if they can just talk to each other about what happened and put it behind them...

As always, I remain eager for more.

[LesbianJedi87]

I can breathe now! "breathes" That was one long update Car! A nice update too. Least we know the jist of what happened....and I love Buffy being all supportive and just...THERE for both Willow and Tara. And the ending? Gah! lol It was so lovely! I'll definatly look forward to the next update, whenever that is!

[umgaynow]

Yes! The update has arrived!! Woo! (....i guess this means no spankin' )

xoxo
Emms

Aw come on, Emms...there's always room for spankin'!!
(it's like Jello that way)

[Guppy]

Wow. Awesome, amazing. It was all well written and captivating. I don't think I moved my eyes off the screen for 15 minutes while reading the update! The flashback was somewhat enlightening. Somehow we still don't know exactly what was said, you just keep slowly leaking out what's happened. I love it! Buffy is so much more mature and available in your stories than in canon. She is a great friend. The end was so cute. I hope they keep healing and reacquainting themselves with each other. Thank you for the wonderful writing. Bring us more soon please!

[Darth Pacula]

G'day, Car.

Just out of curiosity, how long have we been in chapter 13 now? Well, thirteen is supposed to be an unlucky number, so perhaps we're permanently stuck in this chapter, and it will never end!

I suppose there are worse fates than to be 'forced' to read this sublime tale.

I'm somewhat ashamed, but it took me a while to realize that most of this was a flashback. I know, I'm slow. The indented nature should have made it obvious if nothing else, but nope, went straight over my empty little head.

The little mini-saga of 'The Search for the Spare Key' was fun to read, especially when you introduced Dawn and Glory. Glory was a crack-up, still a self-involved skank if marginally less insane, but introducing Dawn as someone other than Buffy's sister surprised me. I liked all the nods to cannon, about Dawn's keyness and her relationship with Buffy. Very subtle and oh-so entertaining.

Less happy was the total shut down that Willow suffered. Man, these two did one hell of a number on each other! I suppose that's just another example that it's always the people we love that possess the greatest ability to hurt us.

Once again, you've painted Buffy in a positive, yet realistic way. She's a good friend, better than most, but she's not a saint. She gets mad, she's still a bit self-involved (ie the 'I'm not solid' talk) but when the chips are down, she's there for Willow, even taking a punch for the team.

Once again, we catch faint hints about what the fabled fight was about, but we're still left in the dark. But whatever happened, it must have been a doozy to illicit that severe a reaction in Willow.

The idea that Willow kept it together until her own self-assigned, fairly arbitrary deadline passed was spot on for her character in my ever-so humble opinion. I've alway had the opinion that she's always wanted things to go exactly according to her schedule, even other people, whether they know the details of Willow's timetable or not.

The 'impactful' discussion was a hoot. I remember reading about that over in the Peeves thread.

But, after all the angst and soul-searching, not to mention words spoken in anger and a wee spot of biffo on Buffy, you finish off on a more positive note. If snuggling together isn't a positive note, I don't know what is!

Tres fantastique, mademoiselle! I doff my cap to you and your marvelous talents.

Cheers,
Paul.

[kindagay]

I kinda, don't have any words right now, so, I'm just gonna leave it at that.

Hugs
Jeanne

[Tarababy77]

OH MY GOODNESS!!!! Now that's an update!!! I so wanna know what happens the next morning. Please, for the love of Starbucks and my Blackberry, update as soon as possible. Great work!!! Take care and smiles. =)

[The Rose24]

I am so glad to see an update on this after so long. I thought you had given up on it.

I see you are still dragging out answering the BIG question. I will continue to wait patiently though.

[willow_tara_always]

just read from statrt to finish and wow! loving it! hurry wit update soon pretty please with a cherry on top:D xxx

[Artemis]

Okay, so... wow. We know how much time you spent on this chapter - not just because we can go back and look at the posting dates, but it shows in the writing. It's so crafted, in the best possible way - everything is honed and refined and perfected. It's beautiful.

I vaguely recall starting my feedback to 13b talking about Buffy, and I'm going to do the same, because it's really Buffy's show at the moment. We all love Willow and Tara, and especially Willow and Tara together And there's no question that they love each other - but I think, in this story, Buffy must take the lion's share of credit for the eventual happy ending. Which I'm not doubting at all, and not just because of Kitten rules - the way all of Tara's doubts and fears, and the recollection of Willow's mirroring turmoil, ended up in the simply, sweet place of them cuddling together, just shows that it's meant to be, and it will be one way or the other.

But when it is, I think Buffy will be able to look at the two of them, and think to herself, "I made that happen." Maybe without her help - somehow - they'd have gotten together, maybe years later, after more turmoil, more disappointments - whatever. The way it is happening, Buffy gets the credit. And as a W/T fan, imagining what that'd be like - not just them as characters, but as real people, to have helped bring the two of them together through such obstacles - Buffy's given a hell of a lot, selflessly, she deserves that reward. And more - can she be both girls' maids-of-honour at the wedding?

The whole flashback was just riveting - I was completely caught up in it, I forgot that it was past events with Buffy explaining to Tara, and Willow safe and sound asleep in the next room. It was all about Buffy looking for the key, going to Dawn for help (love Dawn), finding the key, finding Willow, and just not giving up. She's such a fighter. And she's so brave - I can only imagine what it'd be like to find someone in a state like Willow was - it'd be absolutely 'oh god, what do I do?' Figuring out how to help Willow, improvising, just hoping what she was doing would turn out okay and not make things worse, and never backing out for even a moment - she's brave, no other word for it.

Now we've seen, in essence, the Willow side of the story to now - and fittingly, we've seen how Willow was healed, as best she could be without Tara there. It seems like Tara hasn't gone through what Willow did - she obviously found some way to keep herself together (or put herself back together, if she fell apart like Willow did), but she's still hurting like Willow was, as intensely as Willow was, even though she was able to keep it under control during the day. As Willow turned to Buffy for help (well, was turned to Buffy, by Buffy), it seems like Tara, thanks to Buffy's help, will turn to Willow - and with the strength that Buffy gave her, Willow will try to help her through this most difficult thing she has to do.

At least the source of Bob the Argument seems a bit clearer: something happened to Donnie, Tara had to cancel her visit with Willow to care for him, Willow's disappointment (and perhaps old memories of how Donnie used to be a lot brattier than he later became?) made her bitter, and things escalated. I like that - it makes perfect sense, but it's 'ingenious' enough that I hadn't guessed it ahead of time.

So... in the manner of someone sitting all night outside a ticket office for some big concert or something, I'll stake out my spot, sit in my fold-up chair, pull a blanket around myself, and wait for the next chapter

[Naeryn]

Thank you, Car. I came so close to tears, so many times while reading this. I actually had to stop halfway through and continue it the next day - today. It really, really hit close to home.

I'm thanking you, because you've really done justice to the thoughts and feelings that one experiences during that kind of desperation. I can't imagine that I'm the only one who empathized with Willow, and immediately understood what she meant, when she said "I don't deserve it."

You've managed to convey the emotions of the person feeling that low, and the one trying to help them; how difficult it is; and how crucial it is to, when helping someone like that, let them think and express what they need to in their own time.

This was beautifully written, you handled the seriousness of the event very well, and managed to insert some much-needed levity without offering disrespect to the problem at hand. So, I thank you. I thank you for your compassion, your expression, and your understanding with this kind of feeling.

<333

[Kaia]

Wow, Car.

The first part was hard to read. Well, not exactly hard, but really sad. I was really touched by it, probably 'cause I've been in that situation and could relate perfectly to what you were portraiting: the detachment from self, the profound abulia and the semi-catatonic state...you have shown us Willow's depression so vividly. I'm sure it must have been really painful for Tara to learn all this as well.

Again, Buffy is amazing. I wish I had a friend like that, really. Her complete loyalty is firmly stated during the exchange with Tara, there's no doubt she'd do anything in her power to protect her friend. Awesome. And Tara really needed to hear the things Buffy had to say, no doubt about that.

The whole Tara watching Willow was sooo sweet...although I must admit Tara gets on my nerves:

If I have my way, I’ll get to do this every night for the rest of my life…but I have to tell her first. I have to talk to her

Go talk to her, then! How much longer will the torture last?? Hehehe...I know, I know...I'll be patient, I promise.

As usual, an amazing update, Czar Car.

And you can always count on this kitten for support and encouragement. Even if it takes ages for me to leave fb.
Sorry 'bout that

Karinna


ETA: Will we ever get to know the details of the fight?

[justin]

That was a great update.

We're starting to see more about what caused the fight. As some people speculated Tara couldn't make their meeting. Feeling hurt Willow lashed out, and things went downhill from there.

Hopefully now they can start patching things up.

looking forward to the next part

[AntigoneUnbound]

HAIKU FOR CAR:

Yea, she is Gay Now,
And we are all the better
For this blessed truth.

Thank you...Thank you very much...

Y'know, Sweetie, I love reading your material; I just wish you were more attuned to your characters' inner lives. "How are they feeling, Car?" I kept shouting at my monitor. "You've given us no glimpse into their emotional worlds!" Heh...

Ah, where to start...(Perhaps, Mary thought, right at the beginning.) I absolutely loved this sentence:

She'd wanted to travel light;

And here we have Buffy, in a seemingly casual description. My sense of the Buffster, esp. in the last few updates, is that she lives in the moment, w/ relative clarity of purpose. She's Action Girl. Does her emotional world suffer for it? Not sure...But Willow and Tara? Oh, no--these girls are chock-full of baggage; neither of them travel lightly through this world. So here's Buffy wanting more than anything to bitch-slap them (with consummate love, of course), back to action, back to life. But she also loves them enough to meet them on their terms, halfway. I'm intrigued by the dance she does throughout these updates: gentle one moment; cajoling the next; drill sergeant after that. She may be Action Girl, but she's also very intuitive. I really like what you've done w/ her character, Car.

The humorous moments, of course, delight me. Poor, addled Glory, looking for a key, retaining just enough lucidity to comment on Buffy's cuteness. The "impactful" discussion, as you surely know ("Yes I do, Mary," Car replied, "but stop calling me 'Shirley.'") just had me cracking up. I actually once told my class that if they used the word "impact" or "dialogue" as a verb, I would haunt them unto their final days and yes, I know they're both listed as verbs but Mother of Modern Usage, they just sound so goofy. But I digress. "Not even a school counselor" was a hoot, as was the idea of Willow in cornrows. I also loved the mini-mystery you gave us as Buffy searched for the key--what a great chance to show both how Willow's mind words and how closely Buffy understands her. BTW--I thought it was also a fascinating discussion of Buffy's and Tara's relative closeness: indeed, there are ways that Buffy does know her better now. Seems important to have that out there.

But Willow's pain...oh, that just ached, Car. You truly painted us an awful picture. I thought the acoustics were esp. compelling in this update; the way that Willow's crying varies in pitch and volume. Of course, as a good Irish girl (at least, historically), I had to like the image of keening--so raw, so visceral, so complete in its despair. And then the tears are silent, and those are excruciating (to shed and to witness) in an entirely different way. It was fascinating to watch Willow's journey just through the course of Buffy's arrival: abject despair and hopelessness; glimpses of levity and life; self-loathing and the acrid taste of regret over a transgression seemingly unforgivable. It was painful to read, and that's very, very good.

Buffy's interactions w/ Tara are also intriguing. Again we see "Tough-Love Buffy" (action figure comes with finger pointed for emphasis), making it very clear to Tara that while she loves her, she's also pissed at her AND Willow is her first concern. I'm not remembering the exact sentence, but there's a point where Buffy says, "This isn't about you." There's something so simple but powerful in that statement. Throughout this, Buffy demands that each of them come back to some shared reality, echoes of her "pity party" comment in the last update. Oh, and another simple but impactful (heh) sentence:

I would have stayed.

You're not just telling Tara what you were willing to do about the extended visit, are you? You're making it clear what people who truly love each other would do: they would stay. And that connects to another point that I really admire: you show W/T as fallible, prone to big ol' human flaws. Willow should have been more gracious in Tara's time of need; she wasn't. Tara should have lightened the hell up just a little bit and at least talked to Willow; she didn't. It's so easy to paint their love as epic, unfailingly generous and true. But these are real people, and they both messed up big time here.

The final scene...so sweet; so gentle. Sleep offers us glimpses of the beloved that we might not otherwise see, and here Tara truly needs to see that in Willow. And another thawing: Willow asks her to stay. She puts away her regret and fear enough to ask for what she needs.

And what do I need? I'm glad you asked. I need to see more of this story. Excellent work, Car--just wonderful.

Mary

[HOPE REIGNS]

Czar,

I don't think I can go back and capture or put into words what I was feeling while catching up with you story. The best way I can describe it is being on the latest made rollercoaster around because there is no rollercoaster existing now-a-days that would compare to the ride my body and mind were just on. Oh, and that is definitely a compliment.

The angst, oh the angst..... hehe I love it!!

Keep those updates-a-comin and I'll keep-a-readin'

Thanks,

Anna

[JustSkipIt]

Car,
I owe you very good feedback. I actually read this update the day it went up but I wanted to reread and then think about it all and so on and so forth. So here I am at my in-laws at 28.8 and still wanting to reread and think etc. But time is wasting and I feel like I should get something posted, lest you surprise us all with another update and I haven't posted fb for the first.

Simply put: your update is amazingly powerful. I love the flashback and how determined Buffy is. One of the things that really astounds me about this fic is to think of the girls's ages. This all happened when they were 21 or so. So this is a woman who at 21 is willing and able to fly across the country for her best friend, wake her up and take care of her, and then to spend a month with her. That is dedication and love and I'm incredibly impressed.

And the portrait of Willow in pain is so incredibly palpatable (sp). The reader can feel the unending pain. The concept of her actually putting off her pain until the day had passed is so real and so overwhelming. I love it. At times while reading, I felt that she was being self-indulgent and I think that's a testament to your writing skill. If I'd read it all, going "yep, that seems reasonable," I would think you hadn't gone deeply enough. But you made me want to shake her, want to be the one to toss her in the shower and force her eat. That's power and talent.

I love the last part with our view from Tara's side and especially her thought about wanting to spend the rest of their lives together. They have things to work through, obviously, but the basis of love between them is fantastic.

Sorry for the short feedback but wonderful and powerful job. Happy 4th!

[Naeryn]

palpatable (sp).

Palpable, I believe, is the word you're looking for. You appear to be confusing it with palatable, which means positively edible.

Anywho, just had to do that. You all know me and my dictionary-thumping

Happy fourth to those who celebrated it, though it's a bit late;
And happy first to us Canadians, though it's even later.

Teehee, I'm 18 now.

[witchlove]

i love this fic. I love how you put the emotion in to your writing. I even love all the replies because I too love alot of the other writers who have been posting on here. Like Emms and justskipit. I seen your replies to their work and I am so glad that you decided to write this. I hope you can update soo so that way we can get though alll this hard time with willow and tara and get to their good times with lots of kisses and hugs and stuff.

[Naeryn]

Car! For the love of Willow and Tara, give us a bloody update!

Pretty please?

...with naked women on top?

[willohand]

Im not suppossed to be online reading this.And get this....I read it all in one sitting.I cant believe I finished the whole thing. Oh the trouble I could get into if anyone had looked at the screen. But its so worth it. So my only question is...when are you going to update this baby? I mean if ya only knew what I risked. Having said that I think my rebelious act desreves something. Dont you?

[Always410]

OH my god...

I thought this story was finished. Really really glad that its not cause..wow. I started reading this last night, stopped reading around...1:30. Then...got up, did my volunteer part of my collegeygoodness for 7 hours then finished reading this. And...that's about now. But...right.

I really want to know what the fight was over. Apparently there's something with Donnie. Or...I'm guessing there is. That has to be part of it. Or, maybe its not and I'm just thinking that it is. But...then I started thinking, maybe we WONT find out what the 'issue' was..because its not really that important. Hearing and ...SEEING (thanks to your amazing skills of being able to put a clear picture in my head) what Willow was going through might be all we need. But....wow. I love how much better this Buffy is for Willow.

I think its really interesting how..there is almost TOO much of a difference between...the up and downs. Eventually we'll see it come to an evenness. But, until then, both sides kind of seem to have a huge impact. And....Chapter 13 a? I think that's what it was. Tara's 'dream.' Reading that, was amazing. I tried to read it normally, but it was quite hard. At first I thought it was just...feedback or something but..then I realized it was part of the story. I loved the use of the fonts and styles. You could read all of the red font, and it would be like one perspective, then read the normal bold, and have a complete different view. I read it over and over before I actually COULD move on.

But...again, it is time for me to head to bed. So I shall end this with just a "pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee write more soon."

Cant wait to see what happens next, and find out if we actually will find out what the 'problem' was. (All those around me will be happy for me to shut up and stop talking to them about me "NEEDING TO KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS...UNLESS THE PROBLEM ISNT THE IMPORTANT PART!" )

-Jen

[teenwillow]

hi,i love this fic so much!!!! please update soon, i cant wait to read more. im loving the idea for the story!!!

[teenwillow]

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!!!!!!!!!

[singgirl]

So, I was thinking about this fic about a week ago. I hopped online last night and saw it on the first page. "Maybe it's been updated." I thought. No, no update. However, I noted it had been updated sine I read it last, Soooo, here's feedback for what I read:

13a very ee cummings. I see you used multi-colored font.

13c “Suddenly, the door on the other side of the hall opened and a head with curly blonde hair popped out. “Did someone find a key? I lost my key!” the new arrival exclaimed. “I need to find my key so I can go home!” Her eyes moved back and forth between Buffy and Dawn, an expectant look on her face.” Dude, I have a neighbor like that. But I think it’s because of crack. Hmmm…. I love how you worked her in there, though. Great comic relief and highly entertaining!

“Suddenly, Buffy jumped up from her seat, banging her knee on the leg of the table as she did, startling Dawn.” Hehehe


Overall, wow. Please don't abandon this fic.

[GayNow]

No, Kittens, this isn't an update...sorry. But I did want to let you all know how much I appreciate the continued feedback. I know it's been a long time since I last posted a chapter. It was right after that posting that my life became incredibly hectic. I had received a promotion just 2 days earlier and I've received another promotion since. If I had known that my life would have been turned into a giant roller coaster -- without the benefit of a salary increase -- I probably would have turned down that second promotion. Ah well.

I also want to assure you that this fic has not been abandoned. The writing is just going rather slowly. I am currently working on chapter 14, however -- parts a and b simultaneously. (Yes, there's 14a and 14b.) I'm really hoping to have 14a posted very soon.

I have not posted feedback replies to chapter 13 (any of it) -- in all likelihood, I won't be posting individual replies. There are just too many and I really want to focus my writing time on the story. So, please forgive me for that. But I want to say a collective "thank you" to everyone who has posted any smidgen of feedback at any point in the process. Your words of encouragement have been like a drug for me....I'm addicted. I haven't abandoned the fic...I hope you don't either.

Thank you, again, and look for an update sometime in the near future -- assuming watty-the-super-beta gives me the okay on what I've written.

H&H&S
Carleen

[db]

yay yay YAY!

*runs around squealing*

[mole]

I haven't abandoned the fic...I hope you don't either.

Speaking only for myself (don't want to be presumptuous), I'm an addict, too:) Real Life has a nasty habit of interfering with some of the things that bring us joy, but rest assured, this Kitten is still patiently waiting. Still wondering what exactly happened to keep Tara from contacting Willow for an entire year. Still wondering how they both survived without the lifeline they provided for each other for so long. Still wondering what kind of support system Tara had to see her through.

Here's hoping life settles down a wee bit for you, Carleen.

Michelle