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Really Bad Sex

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Really Bad Sex

Postby inlerf » Mon Jul 24, 2006 8:22 am

For, um, research purposes!

And as tips. ;)

So share here stories, never-do-that!s of the times you had a cringe-worthy experience between the sheets or anywhere else. How did it come about? Who started it? Did you scream in pain? Dadida? No naming names of course--aren't all surveys anonymous?

One other question: did you tell him/her how sucky--in the bad sense--he/she was? (Or were you told? ;) )
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Re: Really Bad Sex

Postby notl33t » Mon Jul 24, 2006 9:07 am

Oh the memories! I write this in the hopes that no one will ever have to endure bad sex.

The worst sex I ever had was with a girl I was convinced that I was in love with in high school. We'd flirted and made out a lot, but had never spent a lot of time together and had little in common. She, like every woman before and after her, made the first move. :)

Eventually, on a horrible Saturday I will never forget, we got down to doing it in her room. Now, although she and I had talked some about having sex, what getting off meant for both of us, and safer sex practices, she was completely unprepared! I mean it, no condoms, no dental dams, no gloves, nuttin' at all. And she had insisted I come over . . . I felt like an idiot for not bringing anything, but I also thought that it would be very presumptuous of me to do so. So, I was prepared for sex that consisted mostly of outercourse and gentle touching.

I was not prepared for being ordered around. I was also not prepared for some of her requests, but I went along with some of it because I liked her. She came a lot, as did I, but after a while, I got really bored. It just became more and more obvious with every orgasm that we had virtually nothing in common and that, in fact, I didn't actually like her very much. It was great outercourse, very inventive and fulfilling. Finally, I was lying down on my back, she got on top of me, and started thrusting, nearly banging my head into her dresser drawer and I thought "This seems sort of dangerous." It snapped me out of my lust and I asked her to stop, politely. I left the room, got dressed and went home. I avoided her, and still avoid her.

What made the encounter so horrible? To a lot of people, this may sound either run-of-the-mill or quite a wonderful thing to have happen to you while you're in high school. We were just randomly hooking up, weren't committed to each other and she was forcing me to have intercourse, something I would never do with someone I'm not committed to and especially not without proper protection. When she finally started disrespecting my boundaries, I left, never to return.

This girl was controlling the entire thing. Not only that, but she was ignoring everything I ever told her about how I view sex. It seemed to me that she was only interested in having sex, not having sex with me; otherwise, she would have actually paid attention to my opinions and put some of her knowledge about my opinions to use.

Eventually, I met this girl's long term boyfriend (guilt guilt guilt), which put a lot of our encounter in perspective.

Moral of the story: IF SOMETHING FEELS WEIRD OR STRANGE, IT PROBABLY IS. RUN RUN RUN! IF SOMEONE REALLY WANTS YOU, THEY'LL WAIT! IF THEY DON'T WAIT, THEY'RE NOT WORTH IT.
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Re: Really Bad Sex

Postby Willow Watcher » Mon Jul 24, 2006 6:58 pm

Ah the first time was my worst! I was so ready to have sex. The girl was kinda out there too but hey, aren't we all. Anywho, she came home with me. We watched a few movies and I was constantly thinking of having sex. Of course being the first time with a woman I was a nervous wreck thinking that I would do something totally wrong because she had been out for years.

Well, I initiated the first moves. We got closer and I *cough* went down first.
I didn't know what happened. She just attacked me and rode me like something wild. OK given that wasn't the bad part. NOT AT ALL! :shy

The bad part was when it was my turn. OMG! This is what someone who has had sexual experience before does? I know there was more too it than that. HELL, I did more than that! She ate p*ssy like a cat drinking milk out of a saucer. I kid you not.

Needless to say, the 'relationship' didn't last long. Hell I had more fun with my little friends on my right and left hand!

The end!
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Re: Really Bad Sex

Postby Hers Always » Wed Jul 26, 2006 8:02 am

My worst sex experience was with my current girlfriend. She stayed over at my place, she had broken up with her previous gilrfriend about a month beforehand. Well, she is the one who initiated the sex, but the whole time she kept on talking about how wrong it was and how she was still in love with the other girl. I asked her if she wanted to stop and she said no..so we kept going...needless to say, i faked it quickly just to get it over with and that way no one was embarrassed...
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Re: Really Bad Sex

Postby cantbefredless » Fri Jul 28, 2006 2:34 am

was tonight with a guy i swear i hate guys
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Re: Really Bad Sex

Postby inlerf » Fri Jul 28, 2006 3:59 am

what did he, or didn't, do?
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Re: Really Bad Sex

Postby Gatito Grande » Fri Jul 28, 2006 12:30 pm

Heh: I thought the joke went "Even when it's BAD . . . it's pretty good." ;-)

GG Can testify that a married het couple is just as capable of "Bed Death" as are lesbians... :rolleyes Out
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Re: Really Bad Sex

Postby kimmy_s » Fri Jul 28, 2006 3:27 pm

ok this doesnt really come under SEX but me and my bi friend got REALLY drunk 1 night and decided it'd be fun to have a fumble under the covers. this was her first time with a girl and needless to say it showed!! i put my handfs between her legs and started fingering her. she was loving it and decided to return the favour: i was walking like john wayne for 2 days after because she was so crap and had long fingernails :sigh i really liked her as well!

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Re: Really Bad Sex

Postby kisstheviolets » Sun Jul 30, 2006 3:10 pm

my first girlfriend was a rather selfish girl in the sack. she was fairly useless after an orgasm so if i didn't get mine first, i wasn't getting it. despite the fact that i was constantly performing on her, she was always trying to ride me, my leg, or whatever, even when it was my turn. she even rode the back of my hand once!! she wasnt into pentration, but wanted to get a strap-on to use on me. i was all for it - figured she'd be humping me anyway, i might as well get to enjoy it. so we get the "wearable" as we called it, and we're doing our thing and her mouth is near my ear and i can hear her breathing change somewhat just a couple of minutes into it. as soon as i recognized what that breathing meant, she was coming and collapsing on me in a heap. i was livid. i think i slept in another room that night.

another bad one was after that ex and i broke up. i'd known this girl for a while who knew i loved it when my ex would speak french to me in the bedroom. so this girl and i started hooking up and one night she starts shouting these horribly gutteral sounding things at me in what i learned was german. now, no offense to any german speaking kittens, but it just doesn't do it for me - there was not a sexy or romantic thing about it (unless you go for some black boot authoritarian shit, which i was not in the mood for that particular night). needless to say, i stopped her mid-sentence and told her to get the fuck out of my house.

other than those two gloriously bad encounters, i've been pretty fortunate in the quality of sex department. the only thing that has been lacking in recent months is quantity!
Last edited by kisstheviolets on Sun Jul 30, 2006 6:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Really Bad Sex

Postby db » Sun Jul 30, 2006 5:49 pm

OK. Maybe this is just because I just wasn't that into her... but I had already pretty much decided it was over when one night, after a night at a lbgt film festival she came into the hotel room all drunk and just pounced on me all drooly and drunk and I *tried* to get into it, but ugh. I just *couldn't*. It was terrible, and the only time in my life when I just felt like *get off of me*... needless to say I broke it off that next morning. ***shiver***
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Re: Really Bad Sex

Postby NewRuthRising » Tue Aug 01, 2006 9:44 am

One word: hangnail.

That put a damper on things pretty quick.

Poor girl winced whenever she sat down for days afterward.

I made it up to her though.
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