Skip to content


Yeah, so...poems?

Post your original creative efforts here. Fan art IS allowed in this forum. Absolutely no fanfic!

Re: Yeah, so...poems?

Postby StaceAngel » Tue Sep 12, 2006 1:07 pm

:shock...huh....

i see my open chest and an angel that licks my heart.


See that in itself.... freaking amazing imagery. Its so... grotesque but in a unusually beautiful way... beautifully grotesque... fantastically...uh... :shock theres more to the piece :shock! *reads on*


mm *nods* i like this piece *nods again* i cant really pick out a part that stands out because its written in such an intense way... its meant to be read as a whole, you cant extract pieces. Its solid.

However your use of 'supplicating', thats beautiful... supplicating... i love that word and it contrasts really well with the references of pain and blood.



Please keep writing Vale i really love reading your stuff, its so emotionally involved... keeps me coming back for more :blush


Stace xXx
Dana Scully: Just because these girls have a high school facination with witchcraft it doesn't mean they're raising the dead.
Fox Mulder: Saw them do it on Buffy.
-Resist or Serve, The X-Files

Between the seasons we find room to breathe out... -I'll Go Until My Heart Stops
User avatar
StaceAngel
8. Vixen
 
Posts: 876
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 2:33 pm
Location: Adelaide, South Australia


Re: Yeah, so...poems?

Postby SJ » Wed Sep 13, 2006 5:53 am

Great imagery in your poetry.
SJ
23. Volumey Text
 
Posts: 3787
Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:39 pm
Location: UK


Re: Yeah, so...poems?

Postby Thianne » Sat Oct 07, 2006 1:16 pm

Stace and SJ, thanks for reading, and taking the time to leave feedback. it means so much to know that people is reading them. they're such a personal part of me that i feel touched that they manage to reach you. thank you.

Author: Thianne (Vale)
Disclaimer: it's all original, all mine. if you want it (i can't imagine why, but....whatever) just tell me
Feedback: is very much appreciated
Note: i just wrote this
Date: 10-07-2006 (mm-dd-yyyy)


I can't feel the pain

When nobody looks at me,
When the light
Doesn’t reach my body
And the darkness hides
My sleepy form,
When I feel invisible
And alone,
I search the sky
With a desperate eye,
Wrapping myself
In a blanket of comfort,
Looking inside myself
To find my inner calm.
I feel nothing,
I see beauty,
My heart wants to burst
When the notes
Of that special song
Suddenly delight my ears.
The world enters,
Filling me
Through my senses,
Annihilating
My meaningless being….
With tenderness,
I hug my pillow,
Feeling so much love
That I can’t give to anyone.
Something in me
Is breaking my heart….
But I’m full of love,
And I can’t feel the pain
That, I know, is inside.
Vale
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"When you get excited about something, one might imagine you as a small, maniacally grinning rubber ball, which someone throws at the wall in an enclosed room, and goes bouncing off every surface for about 15 minutes."
- Mudrat
User avatar
Thianne
13. Big Knowledge Woman
 
Posts: 1861
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:09 pm
Location: Italy


Re: Yeah, so...poems?

Postby river » Sun Oct 08, 2006 10:42 am

wow thats amazing! Go on with it! :peace
User avatar
river
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
 
Posts: 546
Joined: Mon May 01, 2006 11:34 am


Re: Yeah, so...poems?

Postby SJ » Tue Oct 10, 2006 1:56 am

Great poem.
SJ
23. Volumey Text
 
Posts: 3787
Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:39 pm
Location: UK


Re: Yeah, so...poems?

Postby Thianne » Mon Oct 16, 2006 12:35 pm

Thanks river and SJ :kiss1

Author: Thianne (Vale)
Disclaimer: it's all original, all mine. if you want it (i can't imagine why, but....whatever) just tell me
Feedback: is very much appreciated
Note: This is dedicated to my grandma
Date: 10-16-2006 (mm-dd-yyyy)


Come farò?

Sono cresciuta
Con te.
Mi hai accudito,
tenuto,
cantato canzoni.
Sono spaventata.
Ho paura di
Dimenticarmi il tuo viso.
Posso vederti
Diventare più vecchia.
Vengo a trovarti,
e mi accorgo
del tempo,
che passa inesorabile.
Le tua casa
è così piena di ricordi!
Svaniscono piano
Nella nebbia
Della mia mente.
Se muori,
quando muori,
come farò?
Non ricorderò
Le parole
Di quelle canzoni
Che solo tu
Conosci,
dimenticherò
tutte le tue ricette,
e mi pentirò
di tutte quelle cose
che non ti ho
mai chiesto.
Se muori,
quando muori,
cosa farò?
Non riuscirò
A studiare da sola,
mi mancheranno
i tuoi preziosi consigli,
e tutta la tua dolcezza,
riservata per me.
Se muori,
quando muori,
come farò?
Non riuscirò
A trattenere
Le lacrime,
piangerò,
e soffrirò,
e mamma sarà gelosa.
Se muori,
quando muori,
cosa farò?



Translation: What will i do?


I grew up
with you.
You took care of me,
held me,
sang me songs.
I'm scared.
I'm afraid I'll forget
your face.
I can see you
getting older.
I come to visit,
and I'm aware
of Time
that passes, unstoppable.
Your house
is so full of memories!
They fade slowly
in the fog
of my mind.
If you die,
when you die,
what will I do?
I won't remember
the lyrics
of those songs
that only you
know,
I'll forget
all your recipes,
and I'll regret
all those things
I've never
asked you.
If you die,
when you die,
what will I do?
I won't be able
to study by myself,
I'll miss
your precious advice,
and all your sweetness,
reserved to me only.
If you die,
when you die,
what will I do?
I won't manage
to stop
my tears,
and I'll cry,
and I'll hurt,
and mom will be jealous.
If you die,
when you die,
what will I do?
Vale
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"When you get excited about something, one might imagine you as a small, maniacally grinning rubber ball, which someone throws at the wall in an enclosed room, and goes bouncing off every surface for about 15 minutes."
- Mudrat
User avatar
Thianne
13. Big Knowledge Woman
 
Posts: 1861
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:09 pm
Location: Italy


Re: Yeah, so...poems?

Postby onyxsundrops » Tue Oct 17, 2006 6:46 pm

Nicely done. It made me think of my own grandmother. Thanks for sharing.

Evy
onyxsundrops
9. Gay Now
 
Posts: 956
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:27 pm
Location: New Orleans (for the moment)


Re: Yeah, so...poems?

Postby river » Wed Oct 18, 2006 8:25 am

yeah its really nice! wonderful poem :pray
User avatar
river
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
 
Posts: 546
Joined: Mon May 01, 2006 11:34 am


Re: Yeah, so...poems?

Postby Boschi » Thu Oct 19, 2006 5:27 pm

Hey there Vale.

I really wish I had read all these earlier - I very much enjoyed them.
"I'm not anymore" definitely hooked me and "Words worthy of you", "Untitled 2" and "Your Touch" were particularly pleasurable to read.

Forgive me, for some reason the quote box is beyond my humble abilities:

"I think, though,
that to make them
worthy
will suffice
this last
verse:
i love you."

Lovely and sincere.

It makes me wish I read italian. I mean no disrespect to your translations or your english-composed poetry, they are good. I simply think that reading something of yours written in your mother tongue would be delightful.

Regards and thanks,

Boschi
Boschi
14. Lesbo Street Cred
 
Posts: 2066
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 10:00 am
Location: Middle 'o the middle, U.S.A.


Re: Yeah, so...poems?

Postby Thianne » Fri Oct 20, 2006 3:18 am

Boschi wrote:It makes me wish I read italian. I mean no disrespect to your translations or your english-composed poetry, they are good. I simply think that reading something of yours written in your mother tongue would be delightful.


eh, i thought about that. if i knew where to host it, i'd record myself and put a link for everyone to use. if you really really want it, though, just tell me. i guess i could send something via email
Last edited by Thianne on Mon Jul 16, 2012 8:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
Vale
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"When you get excited about something, one might imagine you as a small, maniacally grinning rubber ball, which someone throws at the wall in an enclosed room, and goes bouncing off every surface for about 15 minutes."
- Mudrat
User avatar
Thianne
13. Big Knowledge Woman
 
Posts: 1861
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:09 pm
Location: Italy


Re: Yeah, so...poems?

Postby SJ » Fri Oct 20, 2006 5:11 am

Wonderful poem.
SJ
23. Volumey Text
 
Posts: 3787
Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:39 pm
Location: UK


Re: Yeah, so...poems?

Postby Thianne » Thu Mar 22, 2007 11:59 am

Author: Thianne (Vale)
Disclaimer: it's all original, all mine. if you want it (i can't imagine why, but....whatever) just tell me
Feedback: is very much appreciated
Title: no title for this one...
Date: 11-03-2007 (mm-dd-yyyy)

It seems that in every moment
folly of a different color
comes, brought by the wind
comes, and bring torment

Fragile heart, heart exposed,
fast arrows pierce the woods,
they hit their mark, i warn you, it hurts
i can't move from my place.

Nothing around, i turn, there's emptiness
It's vague, blurred, so fast
sounds, screams, the "click" of a picture
earlier still, what is now in motion.

A whip, it hurts, pain
from here, there, tortures the body
it burns me, it wakes me, it helps me, warmth
no light, no darkness, it hurts, fervor

No more a street, not even a path
i search, look, i got lost
tears, cry, there's not armony anymore
it's all just a great folly.

It hurts, it hurts, in every part
It hurts i'm tired to be wounded
It hurts, it hurts, don't know if i should call you
it hurts and my heart closes in compartments.

No more attacks from the world outside
oh heart of mine, i'll protect you
faithful heart, heart eternal,
the world now is still again...

it sounded *so* much better in italian....
Vale
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"When you get excited about something, one might imagine you as a small, maniacally grinning rubber ball, which someone throws at the wall in an enclosed room, and goes bouncing off every surface for about 15 minutes."
- Mudrat
User avatar
Thianne
13. Big Knowledge Woman
 
Posts: 1861
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:09 pm
Location: Italy


Re: Yeah, so...poems?

Postby SJ » Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:40 am

Great poem. It sounds great in english too.
SJ
23. Volumey Text
 
Posts: 3787
Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:39 pm
Location: UK


Re: Yeah, so...poems?

Postby Thianne » Wed Oct 27, 2010 1:27 am

It's been a long time since I posted a poem. I've been busy with life, I was busy being happy, I suppose, and when I stopped being happy I just had to concentrate on carrying on.

This is a relatively new poem (written last May), and I suppose this is what I feel right now. Some days are definitely better than others.

All the previous disclaimers apply. Title is "What else is there to say"


What else is there to say,
When you’ve taken your heart
And hidden it away,
Deep within your soul,
Deep where I can’t find it.

What else is there to say,
When we slowly grow apart
Each on her own way,
And I weep, not feeling whole,
And I weep within my mind.

What else is there to say,
When it’s clear there’s no new start
And in me there’s just dismay.
My life seeps as through a hole,
My life seeps and leaves me behind.

What else is there to say,
When talking is just not smart
And has such a price to pay.
And I keep hurting, that’s my role
I keep hurting, and you’re just blind.

What else is there to say,
When my words fail me
Slowly eaten by the numbness
Of my heartbreak,
Swallowed by the silence
Of the walls around your heart,
Vanishing into nothingness
Washed away by my tears
When I think about how beautifully,
How strongly,
How truly, maddeningly, completely
I love you.
What else is there to say?


I apologize, I don't think this is one of my best poems, and considering that I don't think the others are such masterpieces, either, this just sounds bad. But it's how I feel, and I had to put it somewhere because it's sitting heavily on my heart tonight....
Vale
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"When you get excited about something, one might imagine you as a small, maniacally grinning rubber ball, which someone throws at the wall in an enclosed room, and goes bouncing off every surface for about 15 minutes."
- Mudrat
User avatar
Thianne
13. Big Knowledge Woman
 
Posts: 1861
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:09 pm
Location: Italy


Re: Yeah, so...poems?

Postby SJ » Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:05 am

Great poem.
SJ
23. Volumey Text
 
Posts: 3787
Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:39 pm
Location: UK

Previous

Return to Board index

Return to The Inward Eye

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


Powered by phpBB The phpBB Group © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007
Style based on a Cosa Nostra Design