Assorted Nae-ness

[SJ]

Great poem.

[Naeryn]

[Unrequited]

I've had enough of this unrequited love
Unwanted, unappreciated - unnoticed
I want to keep you
I want to kill you
I've had enough of this unrequited life.

[SJ]

Great poetry.

[Naeryn]

I think the last couple of lines are a bit sketchy, but I really like the first part of it. Written... oh, five minutes ago, while thinking about...

Le Gasp!

Kaie-Marie. BIG surprise. That woman's given me more headaches and heartaches than you can imagine, but DAMN I've gotten some good poetry out of it.

Forgive me. I didn't sleep last night and I've been playing DDR since five am.

[You]

Raging creatures killing lines in you
A slice in the arm, or two
Or forty-three? All for me?
Are you shocked that I can see through you?
You must have thought I wouldn't care
I'm sorry I can't throw you aside
Leave you to the wolves in your mind
What can I say?
I love you too much to leave you behind.

You must have thought I'd leave you there
I'm sorry I couldn't abandon you
Throw you where everything is sharp and new
What can I say?
I love you enough that I don't need "I do".

[river]

wow that are all great poems!! Go on!

[SJ]

Great poem.

[Naeryn]

This one is thus far untitled. It's mildly erotic, and therefore is

RATED 18A!

The sweet, delicate flavour of you
Gliding smoothly down my throat
The scratches on your hips are trivial
As my nails rake upwards along your thigh;
Ecstasy in a feather-light caress.

My desire is for you, for your taste
For my sharp canines to press hard into your wrist
Red wine on my lips and tongue
Drawn from within sweat-salted skin.

This is my craving, my lust
An indiscriminate palate
For liquid life, sweet, light.

Savouring the last drop
As, with a cry from your lips
Of climactic release
I am left to my sleep;
In the tireless embrace of a corpse.

[river]

wow thats great! i like it!

[SJ]

Great poetry.

[Naeryn]

[Butterfly]

She walks down the street
Staring nowhere but her feet
Self-conscious and too aware
Of all the ugly stares

Flat-chested, so unwanted
Broken-hearted, joy departed
All she needs is a little room
To come out of her cocoon

She's getting her wings
She's learning how to sing
She's a lovely butterfly
Stepping into the light
Taking flight
She's my pretty butterfly

Smiles that don't reach her eyes
Laughing even as she cries
Pretending her voice is not so deep
Full of pieces she doesn't want to keep

She's getting her wings
She's learning how to sing
She's a lovely butterfly
Stepping into the light
Taking flight
She's my pretty butterfly

Budding into who she is
Grasping at every kiss
Fighting for the right
To finally take flight

She's getting her wings
She's learning how to sing
She's a lovely butterfly
Stepping into the light
Taking flight
She's my pretty butterfly
She's my pretty butterfly

Body growing to match the mind
Heart and soul to match in kind

She's my pretty butterfly

She's a butterfly

Inspired by Martina McBride's "She's a Butterfly". Though the metaphor is the same, trust me, my song is quite different from hers XD
Written for Kaie-Marie.
Kaie: After everything you've put me through, after everything you've done to me, I still love you. I'm still here for you. You're not alone in this.

[SJ]

Nice rhythm to your writing.

[Naeryn]

[Loneliness]

Lying under the surface
Hiding under smiles
And happy exclamations
Why is it that every time
I put my arms around you
I feel like I could die?

Why is it that every time
I see you smiling with someone else
I want so much to cry?

Is it too much to ask;
Arms around me?
Lips on mine?
Tender caresses, sweet
Sweet nothings in the dark
All I want is a little love
A little romance
A little someone to notice
When I bleed.

What use have I for money?
For expensive trinkets
Expensive women?
Cheaply bought joy at the hands
Of a whore?
Is that what I am?
It's carved into my thigh:

My new label. Pointless,
To carry on smiling
All I want is to hold someone
To hold you, to hold myself
Yet I am alone.
Shall I sell myself
For a moment of physical affection?
Indeed; I am a whore.

This loneliness is killing me.

[SJ]

Powerful words,great poetry.

[Naeryn]

HOMG. For once, a poem that ISN'T about Kaie! >.>

This one was written for a very dear friend of mine, a female to male transsexual who is entirely unaware of how I feel about him. In fact, he just found out tonight that I'm attracted to him at all. Unfortunately, he's engaged - very much taken - and doesn't live in the city anyway. This blows. By the time I've gathered the confidence and will to be able to tell him how I feel, he's gone and gotten himself a fiancee. Bastard >.<

Anyway, here's the poem, dedicated to my good friend Lendel.

You Never Knew

Three years gone
And I've kept my silence;
Three years passed
And I'm still alone
You think you know
What I want from you
You think you're aware
Of all there is
I want you, I want you
You think I mean
Only physically?
You think I mean
To have my way with you
And toss you aside?

I can't believe
I never knew
You never knew
I loved you

Three years gone
And times have changed
You're taken now
And I'm the same
Freedom? Loneliness?
Does it even matter
How you define it?
It still means I'm not with you
With you, with you
Close together
Lying under stars and sheets
Why couldn't I have
The one thing I wanted
Since before I even knew
You existed?

I can't belive
I never knew
You never knew
I loved you

And I still do.

[SJ]

Great poem.

[Naeryn]

I realized that I haven't posted any of my art here, only poems. So this is what I have scanned into my computer. Since I don't want to be a page stretching ass, I shall post links to my deviantart account, where it can be viewed. Feel free to leave comments here or there, whichever is more convenient. <3

[Lucky 13]
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/34045117/

[The Kiss]
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/14817425/

[Life]
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/12479433/

[Adrienne] (not the character from my fanfic@!)
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/12387924/

[Naeryn]

And we're back to Kaie-ville.

I woke up one morning, I think a week ago or so, with a few lines from this little diddy stuck in my head. So I wrote them out, along with, apparently, a whole lot more.

[Do You Ever Cry]

Do you ever cry,
Thinking of the scars that mark my thighs?
The ones that you made in me
As surely as if you held the razorblade?
Do you ever sit and stare
On a sleepless night
At the ceiling, wondering
When everything started to twist?

Do you ever cry
Knowing how much I loved you
And how much you lied to me?
Do you ever clench your fists
Wishing you hadn't hurt me
Wishing you'd not betrayed me
Wishing, perhaps, that you'd loved me?

Do you ever cry
To think of how much you hurt me?
To think of how you nearly killed me?

Do you ever cry
When you think of how you've lost me?

[Naeryn]

Ah, blessed confusion.

[Questions]

Lies have twisted from your tongue
Hard-hitting words to beat me down
Was that your intent?
Did you know what you said?
Did you realize you called me -
Bitch?
Whore?
Slut?
Worthless?
I didn't think so;
You might want to watch that.

I know what you've done
To me, to everyone
My mind is tormenting me:
How can I still have happy memories?
Why do I remember you
With love and longing?
I should hate you.
I should revile you.
Why do I love you?
Can't I help but cling to you?

In spite of everything:
Lies, illusions
Abusive intentions
When I want to bleed;
Why do I want you to be the one?
Why do I want you
To heal my wounds?
...If I can't stand to have you hold me
Why do I want to do nothing but cry in your arms?

[SJ]

Great poetry.

[Naeryn]

On Sunday night / Monday morning, at 1:30 AM, I took thirty-five of my antidepressants. After realizing what I'd done, I called the woman I was helping a friend babysit for, and asked her when she would be home. When she arrived, she drove me to the hospital, where I was made to ingest charcoal, have a badly placed and very painful IV, and have blood drawn in two places. In one of those places, it now looks like someone smushed a blueberry in my arm, it's so bruised.

Sunday morning, at 5:00 am, Kaie cut her arm open with a replacement blade for an art knife. The wound is approxomately an inch wide, and currently, after a week of healing, about three inches long. She woke me up after the fact, as I was spending the night there, and had me accompany her to the hospital.

Why am I telling you this?

So you will understand the following poems.

[Wake Up]

What's that screaming in my head?
What's that red stain on the floor?
I didn't know water came out of the tap
Coloured amber

What's that silver gleam?
What's that hateful glare?
I didn't know you despised yourself
Enough to die without me there

What's that picture on your arm?
It looks like an eye;
Red and gaping and staring at me
...Why didn't I wake up?

...Why didn't I wake up?

...Why didn't I wake up?

...Why didn't I wake up?

Why does my arm hurt -
When you only hurt your own?

How do I lose this?
How do I keep this?

Can I save you from this?

Why didn't I wake up?


[Antidepressants]

Fading into sounds around me
Flesh tingles at every contact;
Flashing lights in pretty colours
Blurs of figures, blurs of fingers
Gripping into the handle

Forty-nine minus fourteen?
Empty bottles on the floor
With child-safe caps.

Why did no one make
Suicide-safe caps?
They're too concerned
With their family dream:

Gotta save the children
Gotta hate the broken
Gotta save the children
Gotta hate the sad
Gotta save the children
Gotta hate the lonely
Gotta save the children
Gotta hate me;

How ironic:
To commit suicide with antidepressants.


[Thirty-Five]

Thirty-five pretty little pills
On a bloody bathroom floor;
Slices in the arm to help you
Relax; the water's hot enough

You'll bleed enough

You'll fade enough.

Thirty-five dirty little thoughts
In a twisted, broken mind;
"Whore" carved in the thigh
Lies; I've got more scars than that

I've got more scars than you

I've got more than anyone.

Thirty-five empty orgasms
On a semen-stained hotel bed;
Cries of ecstatic despair
Cheat; you're filthy to me

You'll ignore enough

You'll hide enough.

Thirty-five pretty little pills
On a bloody bathroom floor;
Blood entwined to write a story
Fables; shattered love

I still want you

I'll always want you.


[Sweet Everythings]

Bite my neck;
Tear into me;
Make me yours.

Mark your territory;
Name your property;
Keep me.

Whisper sweet everythings
Into my ear
Tell me you love me
Year after year
Chain me down and never
Let me go

Touch me;
Kiss me;
Make me yours.

Take me;
Rape me;
I'm forever yours.