A Soul to Find :: Kro's Poems

[Krokador]

So! I've been writing for a long time now and well, my work is scattered a bit everywhere and well, sometimes I wish i could get feedback lol, but most of the places where I post my poems are just not visited much.

I'm not gonna post them all here. I think you can get a link to my website (which has been in re-hab for quite a while, I might kinda try to fix that when I have a moment, lol)in my profile, as well as my email adress. I have a myspace, I have a livejournal, and i go by the same name everywhere. But well, if you want a link, there are numerous ways to join me.

I'm just gonna start with two poems that I haven't posted anywhere before, that kinda turned into songs (and that I can actually sing, lol).

Rating: I can get angsty, but never naughty (well not yet), and I think PG is safe for those two.
Feedback: More than welcome, feel free to crush down my lyrics lol! Part of it is great, but part of it is not worth crap! hehe
Distribution: As usual, just ask first

Fight Sept. 11th 2006

I see them sparkle in the night
Your eyes on me is what I see
Don't know what's driven me
But now I just can't fight

CHORUS:
No I can't fight anymore
I don't know what's going on
I'm lost in this world alone
You don't notice how hurt I am
But I care if you're not here
'Cuz this life is my fear

There's a hole in my heart
It was there from the start
Bullet ridden self-confidence
My love never had a chance
You raise me up to throw me down
Sitting quiet, but in pain
This time I'm turning around
I just can't fight again

CHORUS

I've tried to understand
Why I'm always the one to bend
Don't you notice all the tears?
They're drowning me in fears
I was lied to and put aside
Let them step on my pride
Today I want an answer
Is this fighting on forever?

CHORUS

Tonight
I feel your touch on my skin
The nightmare turns to a dream
Crimson fist holding on tight
This time I just won't fight

****************************************************************************

Fade Oct. 7th 2006

It just feels so empty
Without the voice in my mind
I don't know why I'm so sorry
That love has made me blind
I feel betrayed
My tears roll down my face
Clenched teeth, hope crushed
My pain won't leave a trace

CHORUS:
But nothing feels the same anymore
Nothing but shame down in my core
Dazed and sober my heart is sore
I don't remember what I'm waiting for
I wish I knew
What to do
To get you back
I wish I could
Do what I should
To get you back
Here...
And I fear
Life's so unclear
A memory so dear
Make it disappear

Fade
Fade Away

There's just so many words I wanted to say
You're gone now it's too late
So many time I've lost looking away
I could never change my fate
I feel so lonely
I want to hold you by my side
And be with you only
Take you on my whistfull ride

CHORUS

No I don't feel the same anymore
I've bumped into your closed door
It's your fault if my heart is sore
Figured out what I was waiting for
I wish I knew
What to do
To get myself back
I wish I could
Do what I should
To get myself back
Here
I still fear
Life's so unclear
A memory so dear
Make it disappear

Fade

[Krokador]

Well, I just wrote *something* out of a bare feeling, it's prolly no good, just thought I'd post it...

Falling Apart (Oct. 9th 2006)

There's a hand over my head
A shadow that's dancing dead
It's tucking at my will to keep going
It's taking me down into the abysses
I want to give up
No time to give up
I want to give in
No chance to realize
Where my heart's been

Everything's going so fast
Yet the night's going too slow
I want to find myself back
But I've lost the way to my resolve
It's so dark here in my mind
Without the lights of love
I don't know what I'm fighting for
Anymore

I just need to get a grip
But I'm losing it
I think I found a safe path
To trip into a treacherous maze
And it's like nothing you say
Nothing you make me do
Will ever fix my wings
And let me fly again

Let me find a reason to keep going
Reasons are illusions
When you get nothing back
I want you
No one wants to hear it
I feel like I'm standing alone
Sitting on a cloud of nothingness
And falling apart

It's just the moment
But I feel so low
It's just a night
But I'm so hollow
The tears burn my cheeks
But they freeze my hands
Like a world without life
I lost my will to defend it

I'm here sitting in the dark
And I know somewhere
There is someone waiting for me
But it's so far
I can't get up
You're out of reach
I'm falling apart.

[river]

well i think its good! i like the way you write!
hope to read more from you!

[SJ]

Great writing.

[Krokador]

Just wrote another (its really rough draft style, again. But then, thats when the feeling is more easily described. )

By the way, thanks for the comments, SJ and river Don't worry you'll get to read more, I'm a poem writing machine

Bare Footed(Oct. 10th 2006)

Footsteps echoing in my chest
Emptiness and a shining star
Never enough to deceive
The ones that look up to me
And the ones I tried to crush
Under my weakness

Frozen to the core
Your eyes on me
I melt to your touch
You're my ecstasy

Love was not enough
To hold me up
Your smile was not enough
For me to give it up

Shells of thoughts forgiven
You knew I was dying
I know I wasn't living
Up to your standards
Footsteps in the back
Of my burrowed head

The spell resounded
Not loud enough to surrender
I'm nowhere near understanding
Can't we be together?

Stop running away
The ground is cold
Drawing sparks in your eyes
Quotes of the forgotten
Your heart of gold

No, I'm not the one to ask
I've got no one's answers
The cuts are deep
The night, dark and silent
Quiet footsteps
Deafening my senses

I know you're here
Stand right behind me
I can feel the warmth
In my confusion

I want to hold your life
Protect this feeling
And kiss you until
You understand

How much it means to me
How hard I've tried to show
The love and pain
And my own words
They're fading footsteps
In the depth

Of your memories

[river]

wow! just great!!

[SJ]

Great poem.

[Krokador]

Hehe, thanks to everyone who reads, and big thanks to the peopel who leave words

I just wrote that, thinking about the girl that means the most to me right now. Though situation, distance and stuff, but yeah so the poem talks for itself.


Three Steps Back (Oct 15th 2006)

I feel like running away
But gathered the will to stay
Taking a step back
Then stumbling backward
Do I wish to have you back?
Three steps back into the graveyard

It's too early to dig our grave
Way too late to say sorry
Doubt and a candle lit in a cave
Where I find myself lonely
Missing the touch of your fingers
And the warmth of your embrace
The feeling of your love that lingers
In this now empty place

I feel like slipping away
But managed to believe in us anyway
Wanted to confirm the distance
Then realizing it's meaning
Just trying to steal a glance
Three steps back are confusing

Severed the ropes that held us apart
The thread of your absence
Tried to build a bridge to your heart
Couldn't bare with the distance
I miss the sound of your voice
And the taste of your lips
This feeling, like I have no choice
But to follow the mind eclipsed

I just wanted to understand
But got lost in my illusions
Turning my back again to stand
And being dragged back to delusion
Torn between love and freedom
Three steps back and then I'm gone

But I didn't really want to go
I never thought it'd be so hard
You mean so much but I still don't know
How am I supposed to let down my guard
The way your words were so sweet
And the stinging sensation of your tears
Remembering every single heartbeat
I wish I could've overcome my fears

I don't want to hurt you ever again
But to make sure it wasn't in vain
I'll be back, this I promise
Time and a smile to ease the pain
And a hug for causing this mess
Three steps back to keep me sane

I'll come back running to you
But before, I have to find my answer
I have no plans, I got no clue
I just know you're in my mind forever
My light is lost, nowhere to find
Even though I know it's in your eyes
I'm stressed and still half blind
Until my uncertainty dies

But I'll make it back to you
Three steps back 'cause I love you

[river]

wow...just wow! thats amazing!!

[SJ]

Powerful words,great poem.

[Krokador]

Thanks for the comments and for reading, river and SJ

So I'm just waiting for my next class to start and I just tried to... well I'm not even sure what that was about. If you understand while reading it, do tell me ^^

Spin around (October 20th 2006)

Turn down the lights
Sit down and listen
Deep down inside
Tie down your fears

Stand up and look again
Hook up with your memories
Make up explanations
Run up the stairs

Spin around and over
Until you fall on your knees
Spin around, up and down

You just can't face the truth

You have a path to follow
You have to be someone
You have power and less
They have no idea

Break hold of the boundaries
You hold your own destiny
Stillness hold their hopes
And I'll hold onto your dreams

Spin around and over
Until you hit the ground
Spin around, hold and have

But you won't win this

They take away the pain
You take the easiest path
It's take or nothing
Can't take what you don't deserve

Just give in to the darkness
I'll give you my secret
It's give it your best
Just give away and wait

Spin around and over
Until you've dug you hole
Spin around, give and take

That's what life's all about

[SJ]

Great poem.

[Krokador]

Hey, people, dont be shy to leave feedback?

This one was written trying to find words to help my gf get through the hard times that are not leaving her since she was in that car wreck... Though I'm not that proud of the result... but it's my best right now

Credibility (And a Handful of Hope) (October 26th 2006)

I want a beautiful world for your silver eyes
And a shining life for the girl who cries
Day and night I want to hold you near
Wish I could erase your fears
Just know it's from the heart when I say
That I want to save you from today

I'd build a fortress of stars for your gentle hands
And a sparkling future for you to stand
If only I could see you again
Wish there was a way to kill your pain
Remember it's from the heart when I look at you
And tell you how much my love is true

I know I've failed a few times
Never meant to hurt you with my rhymes
I would say you mean the world to me
But I know how low hangs my credibility
Wish I was the happy ending for your story
I know I'd stop the world if you asked me

And I'd still do it all for your pretty smile
And I'd make your waiting worth the while
I'm here for you no matter what
Wish I could've assured you of that
Remember it's from the heart when I tell you
Just how much I'll always love you

[SJ]

Great poetry.

[Brianna]

Wow! good poems! I like them

[Bound2Her]

well ok, feedback!

I definatly like all the poem's you've writen. Especially this last one. Even if you say that you aren't proud of it...well you should be! SO keep writting

[Krokador]

hehe thanks Bound2Her, SJ and Brianna for the replies makes me wanna keep posting em (cuz i will keep writing anyway, just wondering if its worth posting hehe)

This one was started on Friday. I kinda feel overwhelmed by the speed life flies by, and that's what it's doing to my brain. I finished it just a bit earlier.

Sleepy (Oct 29th 2006)

It's never quiet when I try to sleep
All those nights I spent wondering
Would you understand if I explained my feelings
Or are they labeled too deep?

All that I've ever known and the past
Blueprints lying around the empty dreams
And just how long those nightmares last
I can't forget the never-ending screams

I can't get any rest without a handful of worry
And I don't know why but I always feel sorry
Life's a stress too short and it feels so long
Each day reminding me I can't come out strong

Isn't it wrong to be living this hell?
Shouldn't we try to find an escape
A goal and a flower to dwell
Dreaded sight of a metal landscape

The emptiness is weighting on my shoulders
Loneliness eating at my resolve
Time to say good bye while it still matters
That our disintegrated hearts don't dissolve

I've seen the end of the tunnel
And it makes me want to put my head down
Give my brain a rest before I drown
And finish this story in a locked cell

Put me to sleep, wish me good night
I need your gentle touch
'Cause I love you so very much
Put me to sleep and make it right

[SJ]

Great poem.

[Krokador]

I just wrote something in one go. It was spontaneous and I think the result isnt bad. It WILL need reworking to be anything great, but hey, cant skip steps

Does It Make Sense? (Nov 6th 2006)

If I say that this world is like scrap metal
Without your music in it
And if your eyes were the sun
Everyone would be walking blind
If I mention thinking about your lips
And kissing your picture just to remind myself
The taste of your love is just like candy
It's like a dope and I can't get enough

If I say the silence is like a giant drum
Without your rhythm in it
And if your hands were the rain
How I would love to have it dripping down my face
If I think about your skin
And touching your clothes in hope you'll remember me
The feeling of your body in my arms
And I'd be holding you forever

But you say that your feelings are like a ball of yarn
Twisted into feelings you never knew you had
And that if you could use your foot on this world
It wouldn't even be flat anymore
If you think about tomorrow
You're afraid you'll see me there
And your uncertainty will drive me away
But rest assured

If I say that this life isn't worth living
Without your smile in it
And if I keep on going
Without the hope you'll ever love me again
When I think about tomorrow
I want you no matter what
For the love we can both share
Will finally be one thing we can call ours

Does it make sense?

[SJ]

Great poem.

[Krokador]

thanks to anyone who,s reading (even those who do not post ) If anyone has any parcel of constructive feedback to say on those (like, tell me my lines are off rythm and that my rhymes kinda suck, or I wouldve used this word instead of that one) I'd be more than happy to read it and use the suggestions lol.

Anyways, im at my mom,s place and her computer,s so crappy i dont wanna take the risk to lose it, so here's the last poem i wrote. It came from the feeling one of my friends seems to be in great pain, but wont talk about it or anything. We've all had that kind of people around ourselves one day or another... And the closer they are, the harder it is to reach out to them, it seems. Anyway, thats how it feels to me.

Step in My Shoes (November 12th 2006)

It's always easy to pretend
We can live with someone else's burden
Wish I could carry yours instead of mine
When you tell the world that everything's fine
The look in your eyes betray the pain
That We all have to fight over again
Don't look at me saying sorry
I know better than to worry

About where you've been
And who's hurt you
The things I've seen
And what I can't do
It'd be easier to suffer in your place
Than to turn around and have to face
Each other critic day
And the memories fading away

Won't you step in my shoes
And let me protect you?
Take away the pain of watching you
Cry for everything you lose
And everyone that leaves you empty
Fearing the end of this story

I know my own problems are to be
Dealt with sometime, someday
You keep telling me everything's okay
But it seems so useless to be happy
When the smile on your face's so hollow
The fake understanding you try to show
Telling me that everything's fine again
Don't you see that it's so vain?

Why won't you step in my shoes
For a minute and forget
The world's not spinning in regret
When you let your soul collect bruises
I'm standing by your side
Watching as you build this wall of pride

Looking so sad in this grey night
And I still don't understand
Why you stay alone to fight
When I'm there offering my hand
Don't you even realize
That this is hurting me more
Than what you idealize
My feelings are stronger than before

Do you think you can protect me
From the demons in your dark sea
When I'm just in the same situation
Telling you everything is alright
Wanting to get rid of this confusion
And see our future shine bright
Won't the spark in your eyes
Save us from our demise?

Just step in my shoes for a while
Help me get out of this mess
And I'll help you out of the stress
So we both show it in our smile
The love and the pain we share
Isn't it enough for you
To let me throught
And show you how much I care?

Just drop your defenses
Against me they're useless
Let me hold you close
And let the rain fall from your eyes
Freely as the drops from the skies
Soothe your mind, when it snows
When the light's over your head
Just remember the moment I said

I love you

[Auriam]

You are very good !

[SJ]

Great poem.

[Krokador]

I woke up to a weird feeling, and an expression I had used yesterday for fun, and I just tried to mix those two things together to get my writing off (cuz I felt like writing for the past 3 days ).

This has a chance of becoming a song that I'll sing someday, but it needs work, and I can't exactly put the finger on why I have that kind of feeling toward the particular situation I'm describing. Like, not at all. Haha, I'm just one confusing person as usual


Cold Crash (Nov 16th 2006)

It's hard just to let you go
And say goodbye
You wouldn't even say so
But please don't cry

Shattered atmosphere
And a two cents smile
Give me a day or a year
And I'll break through

The frigidity you've become
The shards of emotions
Cutting edge of your pain

Tell you you're not alone
In the crowd oceans
And love you to the end

It's hard to look at you
You're not mine
Mind of mishapen blue
But I'll be fine

Comfortable silence
In the worthy warmth
Put me in a trance
And I'll pull through

The frigidity you've become
The shards of emotions
Cutting edge of your pain

Tell you you're not alone
In the crowd oceans
And love you to the end

But the truth is
I'm the one
Cold case in this
Please crash through

The shell I have put on
The act of credibility
Feelings I can't erase

Tell me I'm not alone
In my part of the story

I'll love you to the end

[Uzu]

Thought I'd take a peek at your stuff.^^ Lots to choose from, but one that really caught my attention was- Does It Make Sense?

I think it's because you used some very effective imagery devices to convey the power behind the feelings. Such as -

If I say the silence is like a giant drum
Without your rythm in it
And if your hands were the rain
How I would love to have it dripping down my face

and my favourite...

And if your eyes were the sun
Everyone would be walking blind

Things like that really stick in my mind. I also enjoyed the way you consistently maintained a type of similar pattern right through to the final stanza. The very last questioning line works really well as a balance for the poem as well as providing an uplifting and satisfying conclusion.

Just one question- The line -'Without your rythm in it'. Do you mean 'rhythm'?

Great work, Krokador!^^

[Krokador]

Hehe, thanks for the comments Uzu To answer your question, I really did mean rhythm... its just that french is my first language and its actually spelt 'rythme' and well i think I mixed them up together. That happens ^^

I hope you keep reading, my poems arent all great, but I really enjoy having other people's impressions and feelings about them


Okay so I never answer without something to post hehe, I started writing that this morning, and incorporated some scribbles from the past days into the general pattern of this one. The overall idea was to talk about how scared I am about having to grow up, move out, become an adult and all those things. Yeah okay I'm 19 I should take that step real soon, I know some people want to take that step as soon as possible, but I'm not ready lol...


Tell Me I'm Alright (Nov 17th 2006)

I looked upon my reflection
In this broken glass
And I didn't see me
I didn't see the person I used to be
Don't you agree change is scary?

It's not like I want to go back
It's not that I regret anything
It's just the difference
How everything's so different
That's frightening me

I lost the sense of perception
I knew it all so well
But now I'm blurred out
Falling into a dangerous pattern
Of misplaced guilt

It all seems so far
Yet sounds so familiar
And I still can't find
The one I once was
Looks like I ran away

From myself and from you
From this crazy world altogether
I feel numbed to things
I didn't know I could feel
And I just don't understand

I'm afraid of what I'll become
If I keep growing up
Old and tortured
Old and still scared
I don't want that

Please tell me I'm alright
That this is just a phase
Show me that I can still love
And chase away the hatred
Because that's not who I want to be

Please tell me I'm alright
And that we'll go back
To how we used to be
Cuz I can't face the new me
Don't you agree, change is scary?

[SJ]

Liked both those. Great writing.

[Uzu]

I really did mean rhythm... its just that french is my first language and its actually spelt 'rythme' and well i think I mixed them up together.

LOL! I can see why! That would totally do my nut in!

I really liked this new poem, Krokador. I can definately say it strikes a cord, especially about the anxiety of change. I wonder why the mirror's broken. Did someone punch it? Or is it a metaphor for a shattered self-image that no longer fits the reflected reality? Heh...I think I'm picking up your habit of looking for deeper meanings here...

Good stuff!^^

[Krokador]

Awwwright. Kro's come up with another weird feeling this morning after watching way too much Xena episodes hehe (and that funny cute Gabrielle I always loved so much walk near death a bit too often to my liking.)

ah well, I think the poem speaks for itself, so I'll let ya read. Thanks again to everyone who's reading btw. Oh and Uzu, you're good at picking up deeper meanings lol Still, I can,t remember the exact feeling i had when i wrote that, so its up to you what it means

Saying Goodbye (November 26th 2006)

Don't you know
We can't live forever
Yet we can't be bothered
To worry about Death

I want to believe
That you'll be forever
In my heart
Holding me tight

Why is it so hard
To look at you now
Hanging on a treasure
That no one wants to leave

Why did it happen to you?
Your beautiful face
And those shining eyes
That I'll never forget

Please don't leave
I need you here
More than ever
Love and life together

The tears in your eyes
I know it's hard
To let go
Just stay by my side

Learning to say goodbye
Words aren't enough
They don't mean a thing
When you're dying

So look into my eyes
Until my vision fades
And hold my hand
Until I'm really gone

Why did it happen to you?
Your soft hands
And the arms holding me
That I'll never forget

What was clear now blurs
The only thing I know
The only thing I still feel
Is your presence

Learning to say goodbye
In the peace of your heart
Slowly disappearing
The light is fading

Yes I'm saying goodbye
So you can live again
The promise of a lifetime
Love until the end

[Krokador]

I woke up kinda early this morning...After one of the weirdest dreams ever... and then i read some poems on here... and poof inspiration came my way and I once again deliver one heck of a strange story... Or something like that. I had trouble finding it a title though hehe. Well enjoy!

A Man Like So Many (November 28th 2006)

I tell you the story of a man
A man who didn't have a name
And so he went on a quest
To find his own identity
One he had forgotten long ago
As he ran away from himself

The man didn't find his family
A band of thieves blocked his path
A sword to his throat
The man vowed to his own death
Without a clue on who he was
He had nothing left

Came in his sight a warrior
Wielding the sword of hope
Fought off his attackers
Then disappeared in shadows
Next to a mysterious savior
The man's eyes lit up again

The man thought about what he had known
And what he had abandonned
So long ago
What had he been fighting for
Wasn't what he had imagined
And he had been lost

For so long
Going the wrong way
War and waste on a land
Where he thought he was king
He had ignored his friends
Now he wasn't worth anything

I speak of that man
Who picked up a sword again
Vowing himself to never fail
Protecting what he had loved
So long ago
And the man was killed

No one ever heard of him
No one ever cared about him
His pain and his feats
Were never told
Like so many
So long ago

The man never knew
His son was his savior
The thought of having nothing left
Let him die on the battlefield
Like so many
So long ago

The son grieved his father's death
Thought he too had nothing left
he couldn't save what he had
So he wouldn't save himself
Like so many
Not that long ago

I sing to you of all the people
Who had no names and nothing left
Who died leaving others behind
Who died alone
They were someone else's hope
And never knew

In remembering great warrior's deeds
Let's not forget the little ones
They mean just as much
To men and women alike
Died so many
So long ago

Let's not forget the little things
That makes us happy
Let's not forget
That we'll always mean something to someone
This was the story of a man like so many
That we'll always remember