You Make Me Smile

[spells42]

Emms
A lovely return to this fic. The growing affection Willow has for Spencer and her feelings for Tara are very sweet.

Anne

[sacinema]

Oh, Emms, you tease. Finally they get to the point and than TBC? How cruel is that? But I have to admit that I love it. Surely the entire story and especially this update. What I love most about the story is how casual you describe everything. Willow and Tara are just some normal people. There are no stars shining around them, no "you are the most beautiful woman ever walking on earth from the first time I saw you". The entire feeling thing developed slowly between both of them. And they slowly are growing together. That's seldom in FF. Not that I am complaining about other fics. But this is what I love most in your fic. It's kinda unique.

No wonder, Spencer likes to spend time with Willow. She is a person anyone would like to spend time with. Isn't she? The slipping into the river part is totally Willow. Like the way she took care of Tara in the beginning. On the other part Spence is not over Logan for now. And you managed to describe this very sensitive. Wonder if Willow will answer Spencer's question soon. Don't think he'll let it slip. Maybe he will ask her again.

I so could understand Willow feeling bad after Ginny told her about Logan's abuse. It is not very nice to know somebody's secret from someone else. I'm not that sure I think Ginny did the right thing by telling Willow. It should have been Tara's decision if she is ready to share something like this with Willow.

Thanks for the update. I'm a lucky person. Nearly all my favourite story are now updated in a short while. How wonderful is that?

[FiestySunnBust]

Well, wasn't that just a little intense?! Knowing something about someone you love, that they haven't told you, can skew one's perception.

Willow and Spencer's fishing exploits were very nice. Spencer seems to like to throw out those little zingers and I think he knows very well the reaction he'll get. Children know how to get around all those adult roadblocks and get right to the point.

Thanks for the smiles. Great job.

FSB

[JustSkipIt]

Emms - I really like this update for many many reasons. Some of it rang so true for me. I am totally and horribly afraid of heights as I've mentioned before (I think). The terror that grasps one is just overwhelming. At the same time, I don't want to pass that fear on to my son (my wife does the same to try and not pass on her fear of doctors - sometimes not as well as I would like). It's a real challenge to see him climb something and be like, "Wow! You're so high. Is that fun?" Rather than "OH God! Get down!" So far it's worked. Willow handled it so well. I see that as one of the aspects of the way that Willow is completely adjusting to dating someone with a child. She seems to understand how children work and really strike a good balance of understanding that he's a child but not treating him like a moron.

How interesting and abhorable that Logan was physically abusive. For that I say good job Tara for getting away. I can understand why she has been reticent to tell Willow that. I'm so excited to see that they're making a committment and feel like Tara did a very good job of handling the conversation with Willow of "how do you feel?" to get to telling Spencer. Everyone in this update seemed to handle things so well.

[DreamLover]

Emms Emms Emms Hi Emms

First off you don't suck as a beta...If I was a writer I would be honored to have you as my beta. Except I'm not a writer but I still would feel that way. I have missed you Emms it's great to have you back.

Okay now I really have lost all the hope I had for Logan..yeah yeah I know you told me a looooonnnngggg time ago but I couldn't believe it. Beating Tara???...is she nuts..There has to be more behind that story. There has to be!!! and maybe Tara knows that story. Maybe I was right the first time about Logan having a rough time growing up...no excuses for what she did. It's never an excuse!!!! Maybe Tara knows that Logan really didn't knew what she did at that moment. And maybe I'm just a fool to belief in peoples good sides.

That little cute Spencer...so cute and sooooo like Willow...thinking..rethinking... over-thinking just like her and I bet he can babble a lot!!!. I know if some one saw them together they probably thought it was mother and son.

When they cleared the bend the trail broadened significantly, and the high-up sounds of the water grew softer and further away, Tara stopped and kissed Willow fully on the mouth. She’d never been so scared in her life, and Willow had eased her fears and had taken the lead and had gotten her through it.

I understand it's scary believe me I do.......but never been so scared in her life??? Well if I where her I certainly know there are more times that would be a lot more scarier.....and I am not telling you ..nope. (you would have to mail me for that info )

“Hardly. I’ve done it with a few people.” Tara groaned. “Oh…that sounded so wrong.”

heeeeee where is the romantic Tara that we all know???? Those words aren't hers, they can't be coming out of her mouth.

“Well, you’re my first…and I like it that way.” Willow brought Tara’s fingers up to her lips and brushed her lips across Tara’s knuckles. Tara’s fingers were cold. “Hmm… your hands are cold.” Willow nuzzled the blonde’s fingers against her cheek.

That's romantic!!!!!!!! Go Willow you Casanova..go girl!!!

“Are you going to marry my mommy?”

No wonder Willow fell into the water. She has been her whole life the big single business woman and now this little boy is asking her to be a part of his family....that is shocking..in a good way off course but still at that moment shocking.

You know me by now I am miss impatient wants romance, kisses, the whole thing etc etc...so normally my next question would be...next chapter NC17??? But this time I'm going to surprise you with my answer....next chapter no NC17 you hear me!!!!....there are kids in that camp!!!!! KIDS...so cool them down at least wait until valetine day

I loved the chapter Emms pps....talk to you soon.

Henny

[watty]

Loads of great, wonderful, fabulous writing this chapter. But I'm blown away by one part, and one part alone.

“Are you going to marry my mommy?”

I could hug little Spencer. For eternity.
[br]

[The Rose24]

Wow. This update is really serious.

I knew Logan mistreated Tara, but I didn't know she was physically abusive. This makes me hate Logan even more and want her to stay away from my child.

I am glad Willow and Tara seem to be getting even closer.

[Shy One]

EMMS!!!!!!!!!!!!

The great literary goddess has returned!!!
*trumpets blair fanfair*
*bows deeply*
My dear Emms, it's so great to see you haven't given up on
the writing. I do so love this story and was overjoyed when I saw
that you had updated. And what a fantastic update it was too!
What can I say that hasn't already been said? Not too much except that
I absolutely loved it and I hope that you will grace us with another fabulous
chapter soon. Especially since I feel as though our girls are on the verge
of some hot gay lovin'. And you KNOW how much I love my Willow/Tara
smoochies.
I hope life and the new job are going well for you.
Hope to see more of this sublime story soon.
*hugs*

Love ya Emms,
Shy One

[Artemis]

See, that's why children are awesome: they're conversational ambushers. One moment they're all sweet and easy-going, and then, without any indication that they think there's something remotely odd about it, they hit you with a question that has about the same effect as a two-by-four to the back of the head. And it's funny for all concerned (except Willow, perhaps, but I'm sure she'll see the lighter side of it, not to mention that it indirectly led to Tara undressing her).

That revelation about Logan was... wow. Just as Ginny said, Tara really gave no indication - I mean, we knew Logan was a dick (in the applicable-to-both-genders sense), but that's something else entirely. And Willow is in a tricky position, but y'know, I'm not entirely sure I can blame Ginny for telling her. She's observed of Tara - and I wouldn't say she's entirely wrong - that she tends to be reticent in moving into new things, such as her relationship with Willow, and it may be a long, long time before Tara tells Willow about Logan hitting her on her own. And before that, Willow knowing what happened could help her better navigate her relationship with Tara - I think, in the end, Willow's policy is best, to wait for Tara to tell her, and then tell her that she knew. It'll be awkward for both of them, but less so than any of the available alternatives, and I think they'll be in a good place to get past any awkwardness by then.

That's assuming fate (i.e. the story) doesn't throw a spanner in the works. You never know...

Willow helping Tara past the high cliff was very sweet - for all that it was really quite a calm situation, it struck me very much like something from canon, of Willow defending Tara against a vampire or something. In Tara's mind there was nothing 'calm' about it, and even though Willow was in no danger, it seemed like the only thing on her mind was to help Tara, not whether or not it was difficult for her to do so. Very sweet, and indicative of Willow really understanding something about Tara, and doing the best she can to be what Tara needs her to be in that situation.

My favourite part of the chapter, though, was Tara quietly asking Willow how she felt about her. It's that kind of real-world, considered, thoughtful approach to their relationship that I really enjoy about this fic. I'm really looking forward to Tara explaining this to Spencer, for exactly that reason - you don't resort to artificially playing moments like that for transitory high-stakes drama, you just let their importance speak for itself.

[GrimCityGirl]

Wahey, I'm loving how this fic is progressing, can't wait for the next update, this is fast turning into one of my fave fics.

[kimmy_s]

Emms, you updated? yay!!!
welcome back, we missed you! thankyou so much for udating your wonderful story. i absolutely loved the seriousness of it and also the intimacy of their conversations.
i'm glad u decided to keep it up. its one of my fave fan fics and i love reading your amazing writing.
kim xx

[Willowfan]

I really like this story. I remember starting to read it before-I think on another site, so glad that I found it again.

The latest upate was very well done. I loved Willow's interaction with Spencer. And falling in the water at his question was so cute.

Can't wait for more, to see how far the pouting lip gets Willow;)

[willohand]

such the tease arent you? But what a SWEET TEASE. I look foward to the picking up where you left off. with tara hands on the hem willows shirt...

[Auriam]

Hello
it's the first time i make a post for this story
And want to tell you (you must be tired to ear that !) I LOVE IT ! ! ! !
Thank you
and your last update is great !
Please want more and more ! !
Aurélie

[CrazyTaraWitch]

woot! i love this story soooo much!!! spencer is so cute! can i have him?

can't wait for the next update:)

[Guppy]

I'm a terrible kitten for not leaving feedback sooner or on the previous chapter. I was so excited when I saw there was an update that it must have completely blocked the feedback nudge that normally comes with reading. I love, love LOVED this update!! Especially the star gazing and the adventure of Willow's wet shirt.

[Pinocchio1940]

I haven't read this story in a long time. I really do like the Willow and Spencer interaction though.

[Emms]

Hi everyone…! Chapter 16 is nearly ready to post--just tweaking a few things here and there! I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for reading and for their continued support of this fic. You all are so special. Thank you so much.

lilkitty~ Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Dianneswillowtree~ Thank you for your enthusiastic feedback. Loved it. Yep logan is turning out to be a real piece of work... You're great, sweetie. Thanks again.

PancakesinBellies~ Thank you. I'm glad you like the Spencer/Willow interaction.

I like the shovel visual; I'll see if I can work that in (just kidding... I can't really beat her to death with a shovel... even if I want to. )

Wimpy! It always surprises me (In the best way) when you pop up like this! Luv you, girl! where have you been? I've been fine, just working a lot and writing whenever I can. It's good to hear from you, sweetie. I miss seeing you around here.

I totally get Willow's reaction to the info Ginny gave her, and I understand Ginny being protective of Tara. I hope she can recognize that Willow cares deeply for Tara and doesn't have to worry about anything like that happening between these two.

I think she does get that... but at the same time she's playing at being Tara's motherly-friend-type...I think it was more about asserting her dominance and letting Willow know that she will not stand for Tara getting hurt in any way because she can tell how much they feel about each other.

And now, you leave us with the prospect of nekkidness? Mmm. Please don't leave us waiting too long before we find out...will they or won't they? Do they or don't they? What's Tara's reaction? What's Willow's reaction? Will they get caught with their hands in the cookie jar? Oh Emms, please be a dear and don't leave us hanging too long.

And for those questions, my dear, you will have to wait for chapter 16

db!

Logan. Sheesh. My feeling sorry for her inkling has dried up. That lazy no good wife beating dead beat sorry excuse for a woman needs to just, ugh. I don't know what kind of punishment or act of contrition would work for her. She disgusts me. Feh.

Oh, you can't give up on her so soon... she may surprise you. besides, no one is absolutely irredeemable...

And Willow, she admitted her love to Tara *and* to Ginny (thanks for giving Tara a sweet protective Lesbian Mom type person). I like Ginny, in general, even if she came on a leeeetle on the strong side... I agree with her. No one should hurt Tara. But was it right for Ginny to tell Willow that if Tara hadn't yet? I think that Ginny should not have gone behind Tara's back. Being protective and mother beary is one thing, reveaing secrets is another. We don't know Tara's reasons for not revealing this to Willow, but I want to believe that it is hers to reveal.

I think you're right, sweetie. It really wasn't Ginny's place to tell Willow anything at all--but in her defense she did do it for the right reasons... she was just trying to protect Tara.

So. Willow. Tara. Smooching in front of Spencer. Little guy is getting a clue. I cracked up when he asked Willow if she was going to marry Tara. Out of the mouth of babes! I worry about Willow freaking. I mean she just admitted that she was in love to herself, Tara, Ginny and basically to Spencer... I want to believe that she understands everything she's signed on for, but I am afraid that she'll freak out and hurt Tara's feelings. Nooooo! Bad imagination!

Ooooo, Very insightful! You may be onto something there

Plus which, It feels like things are getting steamier or are on their way to steamier or possibly even soon approaching steamyness? And the love! And the hotness with all the tshirt removing and bedroom eyes...

I think steamy is definitely on their horizon.

Thank you so much for your support, sweetie! You're the greatest, db! luv ya!

Sandman ~ Thank you, sweetie.. chapter 16 should be up tomorrow sometime.

Lady Jea

Oooo! I think this one was the longest Jea-Jea babble in Emms' fic history!! You should get an award of some kind!!! Actually, I think that may just be the longest feedback I've ever received....

I'm sorry to stop where I did, sweetie... but it just called to me. heehee.

Emms, please may I torture and kill Logan very slowly and painfully? How dare she ever lay a finger on Tara! *Shudders* I was right there with Willow, feeling like I'd been thumped in the stomach, when I read that part.

You may not want to throw her into the pit just yet, Jea-cakes... like I told db, Logan may be an ass but she's not completely hopeless. And as for hurting Tara, everyone makes mistakes sometimes--even horrible mistakes like hitting someone you care about... the question is has she learned from her mistakes?

Is it weird that I could actually hear all those sounds? No, it's not weird, it's a testament to your writing skills, you describe every little detail so perfectly & accurately, that, yes, even the sounds become real. It's quite amazing

Thank you. and I could say the same thing about your stories. I love 'em.

Is it any wonder that I was holding my breath? This entire update has hinted towards, paved the way and set up the perfect scene for their perfect first time together.... and you stopped before it happened!!! *pout*

Well, it couldn't have been that simple...perhaps that wasn't destined to be their first time... I guess you'll just have to stick around for chapter 16 to find out.

Spencer was very quietly observant & inquisitive in this update. Of course, you can't hide anything from children, and Spencer's a very smart little boy, so, he probably knows what's going on better than Willow & Tara did, before they had their little talk. It is a good idea for Tara to have a talk with him though, 'cos she needs to be sure that he is absolutely certain about exactly how things are. Although, I think said talk should have occurred before Spencer went & asked Willow if she was gonna marry his mommy.

you're absolutely right. But kids can be so unpredictable sometimes.

Heehee, Maddy's so cute

I thought so too!

I felt the same as Willow did, like I was somehow invading Tara's privacy. But, then, Willow told Ginny that she loves Tara, before she'd actually told Tara, which, also felt wrong somehow.

I'm glad you had that feeling about it, Jea. I felt it was wrong too, but that's why I left it in there...because sometimes things don't happen in exactly the ideal way...'cos real life isn't always a fairy tale. and I wanted to acknowledge that in this story.

Aww, Poor Spencer, can I jump in your fic & just, give him a big hug? I'm sure that Willow is gonna do everything she can to make up for all the badness that Spencer's been through. & I know that she'll be a better parent to him than Logan ever could be.

anytime you want, sweetie. Spencer's a pretty resilient kid, but even resilient kids need plenty of hugs.

and hey! I'm not a Mean-O!!....or maybe I am...?

spells42 ~ Hi Anne! I'm glad you liked the update! Thank you for the feedback!

sacinema

Oh, Emms, you tease. Finally they get to the point and than TBC? How cruel is that? But I have to admit that I love it. Surely the entire story and especially this update. What I love most about the story is how casual you describe everything. Willow and Tara are just some normal people. There are no stars shining around them, no "you are the most beautiful woman ever walking on earth from the first time I saw you". The entire feeling thing developed slowly between both of them. And they slowly are growing together. That's seldom in FF. Not that I am complaining about other fics. But this is what I love most in your fic. It's kinda unique.

thank you very much! Everything you've said was exactly what I was hoping would come across in this story.

No wonder, Spencer likes to spend time with Willow. She is a person anyone would like to spend time with. Isn't she?

well, I know I wouldn't object to spending time with her

Wonder if Willow will answer Spencer's question soon. Don't think he'll let it slip. Maybe he will ask her again.

Oh I'm quite certain he'll get his answer...it may not be the one he's looking for, but I can't see either Willow or Tara letting that question go for too long without some kind of answer.

.I so could understand Willow feeling bad after Ginny told her about Logan's abuse. It is not very nice to know somebody's secret from someone else. I'm not that sure I think Ginny did the right thing by telling Willow. It should have been Tara's decision if she is ready to share something like this with Willow.

I think you're partially right... it's not really a cut and dry situation and there are many ways to look at what Ginny did. Yours is certainly one of them.


FiestySunnBust ~

Well, wasn't that just a little intense?! Knowing something about someone you love, that they haven't told you, can skew one's perception.

But this Willow seems like a pretty level headed gal, so I'm sure she wont let it throw her for too big of a loop.

Willow and Spencer's fishing exploits were very nice. Spencer seems to like to throw out those little zingers and I think he knows very well the reaction he'll get. Children know how to get around all those adult roadblocks and get right to the point.

and I’m pretty sure he has a few more "zingers" up his sleeve.

thank you for the feedback! You made my day!

Debra~

Emms - I really like this update for many many reasons. Some of it rang so true for me. I am totally and horribly afraid of heights as I've mentioned before (I think).

And I'm right there with ya, sweetie. And as a nanny I've had to suffer through countless trips to the park with the kids (who love to climb) , I'm not as good at hiding my fears as you are with Asher... I always just told my babies to get down and play on something else when I could take it no longer

Once I returned to work after a weekend off and was told that one of the twins (she was four at the time) had climbed twenty feet into a tree, while no one was watching her (a common occurrence at their house), and had gotten stuck. She hadn't been afraid at all, however, and one of the older kids had climbed up and brought her back down. I was terrified when they'd told me that she'd done that and had admonished each one of them for not keeping a more watchful eye on her.

but enough on that subject...I'm getting queasy just thinking about it.

How interesting and abhorable that Logan was physically abusive. For that I say good job Tara for getting away. I can understand why she has been reticent to tell Willow that. I'm so excited to see that they're making a committment and feel like Tara did a very good job of handling the conversation with Willow of "how do you feel?" to get to telling Spencer. Everyone in this update seemed to handle things so well.

Thank you. That means a lot coming from you. i think on the whole, Tara is a pretty level headed parent and she definitely puts Spencer first when making life decisions, but none of us are perfect...not even Tara so I suspect some no-so-good decisions will present themselves in the future.

Henny!

First off you don't suck as a beta...If I was a writer I would be honored to have you as my beta. Except I'm not a writer but I still would feel that way. I have missed you Emms it's great to have you back.

You're biased, sweetie. But that's okay, I'll take it.

Okay now I really have lost all the hope I had for Logan..yeah yeah I know you told me a looooonnnngggg time ago but I couldn't believe it. Beating Tara???...is she nuts..There has to be more behind that story. There has to be!!! and maybe Tara knows that story. Maybe I was right the first time about Logan having a rough time growing up...no excuses for what she did. It's never an excuse!!!! Maybe Tara knows that Logan really didn't knew what she did at that moment. And maybe I'm just a fool to belief in peoples good sides.

No... don't stop believing in Logan's good side!! you're her champion, Henny!! You're the only one on her side...and believe me, she needs the support.

You know me by now I am miss impatient wants romance, kisses, the whole thing etc etc...so normally my next question would be...next chapter NC17??? But this time I'm going to surprise you with my answer....next chapter no NC17 you hear me!!!!....there are kids in that camp!!!!! KIDS...so cool them down at least wait until valetine day

your every wish is my command, henster. *taps magic wand* no NC17 at camp.

Love you, Henny!! You're the best!!

watty~

I could hug little Spencer. For eternity.

teehee. You're so sweet.

The Rose24

I know things seem bad right now, but they'll get better. Thank you for reading!

Shy One

The great literary goddess has returned!!!

Literary goddess???!.... I'll take it! you're so sweet.

but I don't know how much "hot gay lovin'" is going to be going on in this next chapter... 'cos Henny's already warned me that there better not be any... so.... Pfft..*shrug*

*giggle*

Chris~ Hi sweetie!!

See, that's why children are awesome: they're conversational ambushers. One moment they're all sweet and easy-going, and then, without any indication that they think there's something remotely odd about it, they hit you with a question that has about the same effect as a two-by-four to the back of the head. And it's funny for all concerned (except Willow, perhaps, but I'm sure she'll see the lighter side of it, not to mention that it indirectly led to Tara undressing her).

Yep. Kids have a way of doing that They can be so bluntly honest sometimes 'cos they very rarely self-sensor. I love kids for that reason. They're so unapologetic too.

That revelation about Logan was... wow. Just as Ginny said, Tara really gave no indication - I mean, we knew Logan was a dick (in the applicable-to-both-genders sense), but that's something else entirely.

I know... and my only saving grace with that was knowing that sometimes when traumatic things happen people have a hard time admitting it to themselves... or they block it or try not to think about it very often...kinda as a coping mechanism. So I didn't feel it was totally out of place to add that detail... if you know what I mean...? Besides, if we knew absolutely everything from the very beginning the journey wouldn't be any fun.

I think, in the end, Willow's policy is best, to wait for Tara to tell her, and then tell her that she knew. It'll be awkward for both of them, but less so than any of the available alternatives, and I think they'll be in a good place to get past any awkwardness by then.

I agree.... that is the best possible option.

My favourite part of the chapter, though, was Tara quietly asking Willow how she felt about her. It's that kind of real-world, considered, thoughtful approach to their relationship that I really enjoy about this fic. I'm really looking forward to Tara explaining this to Spencer, for exactly that reason - you don't resort to artificially playing moments like that for transitory high-stakes drama, you just let their importance speak for itself.

Thank you so much, Chris... And thank you, as always, for the thoughtful feedback. You're awesome.

leftindust Thank you, sweetie!

Kim Thank you, Dear! I'm happy you're liking the story, sweetie.

Willowfan Aww... I'm glad you re-found my fic too! welcome abord.

willohand well... I have been known to tease on occasion... not very often, though.

Auriam Hi sweetie!

Hello
it's the first time i make a post for this story
And want to tell you (you must be tired to ear that !) I LOVE IT ! ! ! !

tee hee! one can really never hear that enough!

And welcome to the story. You ROCK.

CrazyTaraWitch Hi Jas! (it is Jas right?)

I'm glad you're still hangin' out, sweetie.

Guppy Thank you so much! I'm glad you're liking the story! And you're not a terrible Kitten!!

Pinocchio1940 Well I'm happy you're reading again, sweetie. And thank you for taking a moment to tell me how you feel about the story. That's AWESOME!

xoxo
Emms

[db]

Chapter 16 is nearly ready to post?!!!!


*twirls self in twirly chair with hands in the air yelling "YAY!*

ok. done now.

[DreamLover]

[center]:miff




[/center]

[center]

Feedback on Shy One
but I don't know how much "hot gay lovin'" is going to be going on in this next chapter... 'cos Henny's already warned me that there better not be any... so.... Pfft..*shrug*

[/center]


You make me sound like a grumpy old woman....jezzzzz Emms jeezzzzz There are kids!!!! I repeat...I REPEAT ..THERE ARE KIDS!!!!!

Just make it hot, sweaty, steamy without any real contact. Give them some pressure! It will work. Trust me! It.. will...work... For everyone just fine.
* The kids will be happy.
* Just daydream of what will happen! When they WIll make passionate love...SPARKS...FLAMES...FIRE...Body heat.... The screaming feeling just near the edge. The emotional release from deep inside as two searching souls melt into one.

See I'm not all NO NO on the NC17 it's just not the right time.

Love you too Emms.....now bring on Chap. 16

Peace
Henny

[Emms]

db! Love ya, sweetie!

Henny~ yes ma'am and yeah...what you said.

[center][/center]

All disclaimers Apply

Note: This chapter is a bit Tara/Spencer centric...but I felt it was important to do it this way. Certain things I'm not really comfortable glossing over and the Spencer/Tara talk is one of them. But I promise that the next chapter will be chocked full of Willow/Tara lovin (maybe even the nakkid gay kind is there any other kind?)

You Make Me Smile: Chapter 16

Willow sat on the ground with a tree against her back. She was exhausted and was certain she’d had enough play-time to last her well into her fifties. She had had no idea when she’d agreed to play with the boys, that two small children would have so much energy between them. She’d spent the last few hours playing tag, and answering questions about the scientific name for every plant they’d come across.

She may have been worn-out but she still wasn’t too worn-out to let her gaze drifted lazily across the campground to where Tara was in conversation with Ellen over something--Willow couldn’t tell what.

Nothing had really happened between the two of them in the tent that morning, aside from some kissing and light touching, but Willow was okay with that. She was more than okay with that, because for the first time in her life she felt like she wasn’t rushing into something. She’d never been in a relationship like the one she was in now--she’d never loved anyone--but she loved Tara.

Willow studied the blonde, letting her gaze drift over Tara’s white sneakers, and up her legs to her firm thighs, she rested there a moment and then with unadulterated intent let her gaze slip up Tara’s stomach, and the tan cardigan she wore to her breasts. Her eyes lingered there for a long moment, absorbing, and testing without touching, before continuing upward to Tara’s face; her strong, prominent cheekbones and her full supple lips--yes, she was okay with taking things slow, with enjoying the feeling of wanting Tara without the resolution of having her-- for now…

As Willow watched Tara in conversation she realized that Tara very seldom used her hands when she talked, so unlike Willow, herself, who was always flailing her arms about as if their movement was what actually propelled the words from her body. Tara was so much more calm than Willow was, and so beautiful that she could hardly take her eyes off the blonde.

Willow was overcome with a gratefulness at having met Tara at all. It seemed like fate--the two of them together… And then she thought about the cosmos and how maybe it did have a plan for her, after all… maybe she wasn’t just a spec of something floating around without a purpose… Maybe her world could extend outside of her business and the people therein--maybe it already did.
_______________________________________________

Tara felt Willow’s eyes on her, not staring, just simply watching, and the feeling warmed her from the inside out. Ellen must have sensed Tara’s distraction because the other woman soon formed an excuse and excused herself to go help Ginny with the kids, leaving Tara with nothing to do but make her way over to where Willow sat watching her.

Their eyes met and held as Tara circled the campfire and knelt down beside Willow. “Hey you. You’re all by yourself over here…,” Tara said warmly.

“In the true introvert tradition…,” Willow said, scooting over a few inches to make room for Tara to sit beside her.

Willow seemed so relaxed as Tara sat down beside her. Their shoulders and arms pressed against each other comfortably.

Willow’s legs were crossed out in front of her and she put her arm around Tara’s waist, pulling her in closer--needing the feel of her but nothing more.

Across the campsite the children were roasting marshmallows under the supervision of Ginny and Ellen. No one was paying any attention to them, so Willow felt confident to plant a tiny kiss on Tara’s cheek. She lingered there for a moment, breathing in the ever growing familiar scent of her.

Tara rested her head on Willow’s shoulder, content to watch her son enjoying himself with the other kids. It was so good to see him so relaxed and happy, and she smiled, watching him toast his marshmallow in the orange flames of the fire.

Spencer was generally a happy kid, but the last two days she’d never seen him so energetic and cheerful. And she wondered how much of that had to do with simply being able to get out of the city and away from all of life’s stressors and how much had to do with the woman next to her.

Over the course of the weeks that the redhead had been in their lives she’d not only shown caring and compassion toward Spencer but she’d also taken moments here and there to spend time with him--to be a part of the things he liked to do, and what amazed Tara the most about that was that Willow seemed to really enjoy the time she spent with Spencer.

Yes, Willow had become a big part of their lives, that was more than evident, and she was about to become an even bigger part once Tara found a quiet moment to sit down with her son and explain things to him.

She didn’t know how much he suspected about them already, but from what Willow had told her he’d said down by the river, she surmised it was more than she realized-- Which didn’t really surprise her at all, because Spencer had always been a very perceptive child.

She just worried that, with his big heart and capacity to trust, he would form unrealistic expectations of Willow too quickly,--wanting things that Willow wasn’t yet prepared to give, and that he’d be hurt. That thought gnawed at Tara as she sat watching the flames of the fire and feeling the warmth of Willow’s body pressed against her own. But it wasn’t just that thought that trouble her-- no, there was something else there too.

For six years Spencer had been her entire world, and now there was someone else there too, and she knew deep down that a small, infinitesimal part of her was using Spencer as an excuse to keep herself from trusting Willow completely. What Ginny had said that day in Tara’s backyard had really gotten under her skin, more than she really wanted to admit.

Ginny’s words had had a boring effect, and had gotten down into her, forcing Tara to think about herself on a much deeper level than she‘d allowed her mind to go for many years. There were dark places that she’d spent the better part of four years trying to forget, and something in her mind told her that if she let herself go too deeply into the realm of inner reflection that she’d uncover the things that were better left buried. And maybe that’s what she feared the most-- not intimacy with Willow but putting her trust into someone, and sharing her deepest secrets with someone--secrets that she didn’t even like to think about in the privacy of her own head.

There were things that Logan had done to her--not just emotionally but physically too-- things that lived in the dark place--things that she really didn’t want to think about or relive. She just wanted to love like a normal person and put that damaged part of herself behind her. Willow was someone she could trust with her heart and with Spencer’s heart too… and that was what it came down to. Trust.

“I love you,” Tara said quickly, turning to face Willow in the dim glow of the campfire. Willow’s hair was again like flames and Tara swallowed the lump in her throat. She could love Willow like any normal person, and then she said it again, more to herself than to Willow: “I love you.” Tara pressed her lips against Willow’s and let out a sigh at the emotion she felt welling up inside of her.

“I love you too, Tara.” Willow said against Tara‘s lips. She was moved by the cuteness of Tara, and had no idea of the inner conflict the woman kissing her was going through-- All she knew was that the feel of Tara’s lips on her own felt right and natural and all kinds of good. And that was enough for her.

_________________________________________________

It was early Monday morning when they made it back to Tara‘s house. Logan had been waiting for them on Tara’s porch when they’d pulled into the driveway.

“Where have you been?”

“We went camping,” Tara said cheerfully. She unbuckled Spencer and watched as he jumped from the car out onto the grass. Ginny and Ellen were pulling into the driveway right behind them.

Tara was surprised that Spencer seemed to ignore the fact that Logan was there and instead of coming over to hug his other mother, he ran over to where Tyler had gotten out of Ginny’s SUV and began playing with the other boy. Logan noticed this too, and glared at Willow as the redhead came around the car toward them. .

“I’ve been trying to call you for two days, Tara.”

Logan was being hostile, but Tara chose to ignore the venom in her voice. The last few days had been too wonderful to let Logan ruin. “I left a message for you with your mother. I’d assumed you’d gotten it,” she said lightly. Willow was there now, slipping her hand into Tara’s hand, and she felt empowered and almost giddy with happiness and confidence.

Logan had no retort, which told Tara that the other woman had gotten the message, after all, and was simply interested in making a scene. But Logan glared past Tara at the brunette who was walking casually toward them.

Ginny pretended not to notice, and Tara could tell that her friend had already decided to take the passive approach with Logan that morning,--or for as long as she could hold her tongue, Tara thought to herself, and knowing her friend the way she did Tara knew she wouldn’t be able to hold it for long.

“I should have known she was behind all this.”

Logan spat, thumbing her finger at Ginny. But Ginny only smiled graciously at the short haired brunette, and then leaning forward, she said sweetly, “I mean this sincerely and from the bottom of my heart, Logan. Piss off.”

Ginny ignored the look of indignation on the brunette’s face, and leaned over, kissing Tara on the cheek. “Call me later, hon.” She gave Tara’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

“I Will,” Tara replied

“And it was nice to meet you, Willow. We’ll have to do this again sometime soon.” Ginny wrapped Willow in an embrace, which ended in a handshake.

“Nice to meet you too,” Willow replied, offering the retreating woman a little wave.

“Well, I want him weekends from now on,” Logan said after Ginny had gathered up her offspring and had driven away. She was, of course, talking about Spencer.

“Okay,” Tara agreed levelly

“Okay? Just like that?”

“Logan you know that I have never tried to prevent you from seeing Spencer whenever you’ve wanted.” It had only been a matter of moments spent with Logan yet Tara’s good mood had already departed and she felt completely drained. But she knew that if it weren’t for Willow‘s presence at her side she might have, sunk right down into full-out depress-mode. Logan had a way of doing that to her--diminishing her energy and making her feel like crap.

“Then I want to take him right now. I want him for the entire day.”

Tara would never try to stop Logan from seeing Spencer, but the woman did need to get one thing straight. “He’s not a possession, Logan. He’s a little boy. Why don’t you go in and see if he wants to go with you,” Tara sighed. Spencer had gone into the house after Tyler left.

Logan brushed past Tara and went into the house.

“Are you okay?” Willow said without looking at Tara. She didn’t know what to say or do. She’d promised herself, that she wouldn’t get involved where Logan was concerned, but that was getting harder and harder to do by the minute--especially when she could see the back-up on Tara’s face, and in the way her shoulders slumped a little lower. And having the knowledge she had about the woman and the thing she’d done to Tara wasn’t helping her resolve either.

“I am. I’m just a little bit tired, I think.” Tara smiled weakly and let Willow’s hand drop.

“Okay. Look… I was going to go into the office today--interviews and stuff” Willow explained, “but if you want me too, I can cancel all that, and hang out here...” Willow offered, mentally rearranging her schedule and pondering the likelihood that Kelly Strong would be willing to reschedule for the next day.

“No…that’s okay. You go. I’ll be okay, and anyway I could probably use a little alone time what with the art show just four days away.” Tara redistributed her weight onto her other foot, “And if Logan’s really going to take Spencer for the day I’d better take advantage of it and try to at least get a little work done.”

“You’re right,” she said, being serious, but then with a hint of cute eagerness in her voice she asked: “Should I come by after work?”

“That would be perfect.” Tara smiled, she was starting to feel okay again, and the prospect of getting a little work done, and seeing Willow later on that night was sounding very good to her at that moment. “Maybe you could even stay over….?” She took Willow's hand again, rubbing little circles into the back of it with her thumb.

“Like a sleep-over?” Willow thought about this. “Well, I do still have the sleeping bag in the back of the car… perhaps we could have a little post-camp camp-out tonight? I’ll bring the smores….” Willow waggled her eyebrows.

“And I’ll furnish the 100watt light bulb,” Tara teased.

“It’s a date then.”

“It would seem so,” Tara said with a sultry lilt to her voice.

“See you tonight,” Willow said, letting go of Tara’s hands.

Willow backed up towards her SUV and got in the driver’s side and then started the engine up. She put the car in reverse and then stopped. Something had occurred to her. Halfway out of the driveway Willow got out of her car and jogged back to where Tara stood on the porch. “forgot something…,” Willow explained.

“Wha--?”

“This,” Willow said, pulling Tara into a kiss.

Their lips sparked against each other, and Tara instinctively pulled Willow in for another when the other woman made as if to pull away.

“See you…,” Willow said over her shoulder as she headed back to her car.

“See you…,” Tara whispered back, too low for Willow to hear her. She touched her fingers to her lips.
_____________________________________________________________

“You know, kiddo… if Willow and Mommy spend too much time together I wont get to see you as much,” Logan said conversationally. She took a sip of her coffee and then dabbed her lips with her napkin.

Spencer sat unmoving and silently sipped his milkshake.

Logan knew what she was doing was wrong, but she just couldn’t help herself, she was too irritated with Tara and she needed to feel like she had some control over something in her life again. And Maybe she couldn’t stop Tara from seeing Willow but she could definitely stop this new woman from stealing Spencer away from her. He was all she had left, and she was scared she was losing him.

She’d seen the way Spencer had ignored her that morning; shit, it still hurt. He used to idolize her and want to spend time with her and this morning it had been like pulling teeth to even get him to agree to come out with her--he‘d just seemed so uninterested…and that’s what broke Logan’s heart the most-- had she really messed things up between them so much that he didn‘t even care to spend time with her anymore?

“Maybe I might even have to move away.” Logan waited for a reaction. She shifted uncomfortably in the hard plastic diner’s chair, but Spencer just looked at her and remained silent. She wanted to cry; to shake him and demand to know why he wasn’t crying when she’d just told him that he may never see her again.

“You wouldn’t want that, would you Sport?” she continued to bait him.

More silence. And then Spencer did say something, but It wasn’t what Logan had been expecting.

“I love you. But I wanna go home now. Please Lee-Lee?”
_____________________________________________________________

“Is everything okay?” Tara asked her son as he came through the front door. He looked sullen and she worried that something had happened. But then he took off his coat and set about playing with his Spiderman action figures that lined the far end of the coffee table, so she surmised that there couldn’t be anything too terribly the matter.

Logan followed him in and sat his backpack down on the kitchen Table.

“I thought you were keeping him for the afternoon?” Tara said. She was surprised to see them back so soon, the clock on the kitchen wall read barely 11:00.

“I forgot I had shit to do today,” Logan mumbled.

Tara leaned against the counter, her elbows resting behind her, and her right hip jutting through the long brown skirt she wore, like a book slightly askew on a bookshelf, and the soft sounds of the community college’s radio station drifted throughout the kitchen, cutting through the strange atmosphere that had enveloped the small space.

“Here.”

Logan had taken something out of her pocket and was giving it to Tara. “What is this?” Tara looked at the folded slip of paper Logan had pressed into her hand.

“Spencer’s tuition.”

Logan wouldn’t make eye contact with her, and Tara thought that if she didn’t know any better she would have sworn that she’d seen guilt written all over the brunette’s face.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been a real ass lately. I should have given that to you the other day, when you asked for it.” Logan gestured toward the check. “I meant what I said though, I want Spencer on the weekends.”
____________________________________________________________

After Logan left, Tara found Spencer on his bed. He had his eyes closed but she could tell he was feigning sleep. His Spiderman action figures were scattered across the bedspread.

“Hey, sweetie… do you feel okay?” she pressed her cheek against his forehead to feel if he had a fever, the way her mother had done to her when she was a child. He felt normal and Tara brushed her fingers through his crop of blonde hair, grateful that he didn’t feel warm enough to be coming down with anything.

He opened his eyes just a sliver, and looked at her and then closed them again, reminding Tara of a sleepy kitten. “Is there something you want to talk about, little man?”

He had his eyes closed when he spoke, but Tara saw him briefly open one and peek out at her.

“Mommy… Is Lee-Lee going to go away if Willow stays around us?”

“Is that what you think is going to happen?” Tara asked. She had no idea where that thought had surfaced from. She certainly wasn’t thinking that anyone had told him that.

Spencer shrugged. “Lee-Lee said so.”

And then Tara understood what had been on Spencer’s mind when he came back from his time with Logan, and she was inwardly furious at her ex for trying to manipulate their son. Tara sighed, she had to let go of that anger for that moment though, so that she could talk to her son the way he needed her to.

“Spencer, sometimes grown-ups say things that they don’t necessarily mean because they’re feeling frustrated or hurt inside. It’s very important that you know that if Lee-Lee does go away for a little while that it’s not because of anything you did. Okay, sweetie? Sometimes grown-ups can get very silly when it comes to people that they love very much.”

“And Lee-Lee loves me very much, doesn’t she, Mommy?”

“That’s right.” She smiled at her son, who was then smiling too.

He sat up. “I have another question.”

“Okay.”

“Where’s my daddy?”

Tara was surprised by his question, but hardly daunted. She’d been preparing for this moment since the day he was born. “let’s go feed the ducks, shall we? And I’ll tell you all about it.”
_____________________________________________________________

An hour later they were in the park, and Spencer was thoughtfully throwing bread crumbs to the clamoring ducks that surged toward him. The ducks lifted their bills in anticipation of the next offering, and their wings and bodies caused the water in the manmade pond to splash quite fervently.

Spencer came away from the water‘s edge and sat back down in Tara’s lap.

“You mean that’s how I was made?”

Spencer pointed to the picture in the book Tara was holding of a small hose attached to a bulbous piece of rubber.

“Uh-huh,” Tara said lightly. "Well, pretty much.” She’d left out the more graphic details, but she could tell that Spencer had grasped the general gist of events leading up to his birth. She’d gone through mostly everything with him from the planning of his conception to the actual event itself.

Spencer paused thoughtfully, “that’s pretty gross, mommy.”

“It is?” Tara closed the book and set it on the grass next to them, her brow raised at the boy who was regarding her with crinkled nose and squinted eyes.

Spencer nodded, stood, and threw the last of his bread into the water. The ducks squirmed forward and amidst flapping and feathers, tackled what remained of the soggy bread.

“Do you want a daddy?” Tara asked casually, pulling Spencer back into her lap after he‘d exhausted his bread supply. “It’s alright if that’s the way you feel,” she reassured.

Spencer shrugged his thin shoulders under his blue long-sleeve shirt. “I just wondered if I had one, is all.” Spencer leaned his head back against Tara‘s chest.

“Oh, okay,” Tara said softly, she brushed his hair back away from his forehead. “You need a hair cut, little man,” Tara teased, hugging him with both her arms. She loved Spencer so much, and the feeling of that was as bright as the sun shining down on them.

“Lee-Lee said she would take me to Crazy-Cuts!” Spencer laughed.

“Don’t you mean Super Cuts?” Tara asked, and Spencer turned his face so that he was looking at her. He grinned with all his teeth showing. But then he grew serious again.

“Do you think women could be daddies and mommies at the same time?”

“Why?”

“Because I was wondering… if I already have two mommies, then what does that make Willow?”

“You love Willow a lot, don’t you?”

Spencer nodded. “You do too, Mommy.”

“How can you tell?” Tara smiled and kissed Spencer’s cheek.

“Because she makes you smile.”

“You make me smile,” Tara pointed out, tickling Spencer’s tummy. Spencer giggled, but Tara could tell he was still waiting for an answer to his question. “Yeah, I do, little man.” Tara kissed Spencer’s head, his hair smelled of grass and sun. “I love Willow a whole lot.”

Spencer took a deep breath “Are you going to marry, Willow?”

“What makes you think that, sweetie?” Tara said gently. Their conversation was happening naturally, and Tara took that as a sign that this had been the right time to tell him.

“Because you kissed her. And when people kiss each other, and they love each other, sometimes they get married.”

Spencer was looking at her now.

“Well, that’s true, sweetie. When people love each other sometimes they do get married. But the laws can be kind of tricky sometimes when it’s two women that love each other and want to get married.”

“Do you want to marry Willow?”

“Maybe someday, sweetie… but right now we’re still getting to know each other. We're still getting used to each other.”

“I know what you mean because last year a new kid came to school and everyone wanted to be his friend, but the other boy was shy and my teacher said it was because he was still getting to know us.”

“That’s right. That is a situation where people have to get to know each other before they can be something more--like friends.”

“Yeah, because you have to get to know someone before you can decide if you want to be their friend.”

“And it’s even more important to get to know someone first before you decide something big like whether or not you want to get married to them.” Tara was happy that their talk was going so smoothly.

“Well I love Willow. Do you think we could at least ask Willow if she wants to be my daddy, since I don‘t already have one?”

“Oh, sweetie. It’s a little more complicated than that. Remember what we just talked about--about getting to know someone first and getting used to them?

“Yeah but… we already know Willow. And I‘m really used to her, Mommy.”

“Willow can‘t be a daddy, because daddies are men, sweetie.”

“But Daddies are supposed to take you places and do fun things with you. Right?”

“Mommies do those things too, little man,” Tara reminded him, softly. She had no idea where this train of conversation was going to end up.

“You do, and Willow does... But Lee-lee doesn’t. Not anymore.” Spencer paused “So, maybe that makes Willow my Lee-Lee, and Lee-Lee my Willow?” Spencer tilted his head to the side as he thought about that further.

“I think…” Tara chose her words carefully “there are going to be people throughout your life that will mean more than one thing to you, Spencer. And the best part is--do you want to know what the best part is?” She made sure he was giving her his complete attention before she continued. “The best part is that you don’t have to know right away. That‘s what makes it so special. Do you understand?”

“It can be like a surprise?”

Tara nodded. “Like a surprise.”

“I like surprises.”

“I know you do.”

Spencer sighed contentedly, and Tara could tell his curiosity had been satisfied for the time being.

“Come on, little man!” she said, lifting Spencer off her lap. “I’ll push you on the swings!” Tara ran backward toward the playground in the center of the park. And Spencer followed behind her.

“No! I’ll push you on the swings, Mommy!”

TBC

[kindagay]

SQUEEEEEE!!! Dibs

Hugs
Jeanne

[db]

Second dibses!

Oh, Emmy .

I am so glad you included the talk with Spencer - it was so good, Tara is such a good mommy! She did a great job answering his questions honestly and in a way he could really understand. Plus, she let the whole bullsh*t with Logan roll off her back. I would have lost my cool, I think. Logan was so rude and confrontational and to be honest, I think Tara is a little too tolerant with her. I guess there isn't anything else she could do... she's trying to make it as pleasant as possible, since she does have to continue to interact with Logan. God. Logan is *such* a horse's *ss. She was so totally out of line using Spencer to manipulate Tara. There are some lines that are not ok to cross with kids and she just stepped way over it. Ugh. She is *not* a good parent. I just hope you aren't using someone you know from RL as a model for her character because if you are, well I want to poke them in the eye. Hard. I am not so sure about the redeemable part Emmy, but I trust you, so I am just going to wait and see.

I have to dissagree with you about the not-enough-Willow part though... I thought the sitting around the campfire with the peek into each of their respective thoughts was beautiful and incredibly moving and just the right amount of W/T.

Plus, it left me feeling like I had a good sense of where they both were at:

Willow has never been in love before - and now she has all these new feelings, a child in the mix and has this secret Ginny 'tackled' her with... I was impressed with how that little flash inside Willow's brain left me with a deep sense of where she is emotionally... I *did* get a sense of both trepidation and a little bit of overwhelmedness but the biggest part was love. I am impressed with how well Willow handled herself with Soencer, with Tara and also with Logan. I just want to give her a hug and tell her she is doing great.

And Tara.

Wow. She has a whole heck of a lot oh her shoulders. She does need to share with Willow -- and I know that she wants to just be able to love, but love is never that simple, is it? She is carrying so much, and with Spencer and Logan in the mix I can understand why she is afraid -- I just am glad that she took what Ginny said to heart (btw she is now 'mama bear ' to me. So. even if I am a little dissapointed in 'mama bear' overstepping her bounds with the revealing to Willow re: Logan, I think she has done something really good by being as blunt as she was with Tara the other day.

So. Sleep over + they're in love + Specer talk is out of the way + hot lesbians in the same bed = hot nekkid gay lovin'? <-- insert hopeful grin here.

Great update Emms!

db

[Willowtree252]

oh Emms I am so glad you spent the whole chapter on Spencer and Tara. This needed to be taken care of and sooner than later . Lee Lee has made her own bed now she must lay in it. I don,t feel sorry for her at all. Don,t think I have forgot about Miss Kelly what are you up to missy? Becareful with me ya know Justskipit is about to kill me You know I would walk a million miles to read one of your storys and it would so be worth it

[mole]

Yahoo! Thanks for the update, Emms. SO much more fulfilling than writing a paper for class tomorrow:)

Spencer is one grown-up little man. Of course, having an amazing, open, and communicative parent helps in that regard. He and Tara have a wonderful line of communication that I would wish for any parent and child.

While I enjoyed the entire update, two things stand out in my mind:

Willow running up the driving for the forgotten kiss and

Tara leaned against the counter, her elbows resting behind her, and her right hip jutting through the long brown skirt she wore, like a book slightly askew on a bookshelf,

The imagry just struck me...beautiful.

Thanks for lightening up my evening. Looking forward to that nekkid W/T goodness!

Michelle

[Chummy]

that was great plz more

[lilkitty1389]

Great update! i hope willow gets to be spencers "daddy" someday. I can't wait for more!

[witchlove]

I just love this story. he was cute with the whole wanting Willow to be his daddy.

[willohand]

You are sooooooooooooooooo amazing. And everyone kept a cool head even though we all wanted a piece of Logan`s ass handed to her on a plate. And the little guy is certaintly strong and very much tara`s son. And K U D O S to willow for not saying or doping anything and letting tara handle logan. Cant wait for their date. Girl you are A W E S O M E!

[spells42]

Emms,
Very sweet, very real. Hated seeing Logan using Spencer as a pawn in her power struggle, loved seeing her begin to realise what she was doing might lose her Logan.

Your depiction of the characters and their relationships (and their thoughts on those relationships) brings them to life for me.

Looking forward to more.
Anne