ana.log.ue – Hello and welcome. Thanks so much for registering and commenting. I’m thrilled to get your feedback.

May I say, “thank the Gods!” I’ve been waiting for some critical and dissenting feedback here. Understand, I’m not meaning to criticize the wonderful and laudatory comments by earlier readers but I have been waiting for someone to shout “wait a minute!” ( as you are doing). I completely agree with your feelings about this statement. It makes me feel quite sad to hear those words from Dani as if she’s acknowledging how completely possessed she is by Tara. And it makes me even more sad to realize that Tara understands this not at all. In fact, she thinks that Dani is elated over it as she was earlier. She has no idea that she’s already exploiting her power over Dani.
Thank you for the trust and let me tell you that what you suggest is something that literally keeps me awake nights (not many nights because I’m a very heavy sleeper, but…). I believe that the progression of this story will be angsty and believable and that the eventual resolution will be worth the angst and the setup. My current plan is that the resolution to this story will absolutely fulfill the KB FAQ for a “happy and forever together…” story but that the sequel will bring about many of the things that readers want. Does that make any sense?

Everything you say about their “monumental shift in thinking” makes perfect sense. I can only say that things will happen and that much of the movement in the next part of the story will take place within our narrator. I believe that between the moment just passed and the telling of her tale, she will change in ways that will make the resolution ultimately believable. That said, I believe that part of their problem is not just their mental commitment to their position but society’s actual expectations for them. Does that make sense?

I guess all I can say is please continue to trust me and to bring me the hard questions. Thank you.

anne – Hello and don’t worry about it. I understand that people have lives (or hope everyone does). And anyway: summer holiday sounds way better than writing feedback. Ok, not all the time but it sounds great.

Interesting observation. I would say that we don’t really know how Dani feels about it. Tara I believe is still more clueless than anything else. She is gaining a bit of understanding but not enough, perhaps.

I think that whether she is capable of resisting Tara’s wishes at all is a very good question and one which will drive much of the rest of this fic.
A very good question and one which you, of course, know I will not answer. I will say this:a servant has no ability to “choose to not serve…” Once Dani is bonded, it is literally impossible for her to choose not to serve Tara.

Yes.

Thanks so much. Enjoy the holiday!

watty – Hey there. I totally get it about being involved in writing and 69K is a lot. I can’t wait for these weekly updates to begin! I should have sent you a note that I updated, I guess. Thank you. I think it’s a combination of things: the difference in what they look like on paper vs. on skin, the power and magic emanating from them, and the meaning for Tara as she looks at them.

I can see being less bothered by Tara giving Dani the herbs now given that Dani protested far less strongly this time. I think that the fact that Dani took them now is both a product of her complete submission to Tara and her pained exhaustion. Interesting that you liked the scene of Tara taking care of Dani. I agree that it’s quite sweet. One thing that I wrote somewhat subtly (I hope) is that Tara has truly no idea what Dani’s armoire nor her own closet look like. She is so used to Dani doing absolutely everything that just the experience of looking at Dani’s armoire is new, yet Dani is so used to it that she put out Tara’s clothes to wear today back before they left for their journey. Yes, the kissing in their room is sweet and private. I think that in spite of what we can all see, Tara’s love for Dani and her enthusiasm over expressing that is incredibly wonderful to read.

I’m glad you liked the presentation and the presents. I believe that Tara is quite excited because for her, presents for Dani = people love Dani = people respect Dani. In a way she glosses over the fact that Dani getting presents is good for her own prestige. Excellent point.

Definitely. And I think that in future chapters she will be servant girl-y but in a very different way (or in a different way plus the existing way).

Thank you.

Vale – Ha ha. No pain at all. Please, by all means keep posting. What do they say about voting: vote early and vote often? Post early and often…

I totally agree with you that it’s upsetting that Tara “made” Dani take the herbs and even more so that she doesn’t realize that she has made Dani do something.
She’s expected to step up just as Tara is expected to step-up. For all these years, Melanie and Delam have basically been doing Tara and Dani’s responsibilities. I don’t think that Derek expects Dani to actually take over any of his responsibilities; he just wants to show his respect that she should be kept informed. She will show him the same consideration in her responsibilities although she won’t expect him to do her work. Also, she’s taking over the lessons for Anne & Faith’s girls, not for Anne & Faith. Faith’s studies are complete at this point and Anne is… Anne is Anne.

So you think the physical is progressing too quickly? I agree that they don’t fully understand what they’re doing but I also think that they’re far more mature than the average 17 year old in our society. I also think that we probably greatly underestimate the maturity of even the average 17 year old, let alone a very mature one. That said, your contention that this spells trouble is far from incorrect.

I wish I could transmit the marks from the inside of my head to your computer screen. I really do. My wife has a Nintento DS and one of the games is Brain Age and you have to draw three pictures of things from memory. I suck at that and when I say suck I mean that I actually just give up and put three slashes on the thing. I can’t see the thing in my head and if I can, I can’t possibly draw anything like it with that little stylus on the little screen. Arggghhh.

Anyway, post away. I’m working on the next update but I think it will be a long and thus not for a while one…

Thanks.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

HA! DIBS!

You know....being a 17 yo, i sort of have an inside scoop of how mature or immature people my age can be. thing is, this is not about the age, this is about understanding what they're doing, understanding the consequences. as you're writing them now, they don't. actually, Dani may understand them more than Tara. But they still have no idea what that is all about, how what they do or feel will fit in the outside world that is not the one they're living in now. i'm not sure i'm explaining this well.

what i mean is, they're closed off in a dimension that involves just them. their relationship is so private, so personal, that it hasn't been.....inserted in the real world, a world formed by other people, by social conventions, by what sex, and love, and support mean *there*, and not in the privacy of their chambers.

so, this isn't about age. it's about....having an idea of what they're doing, what they feel. not knowing *everything*....but....Tara seems completely unaware. completely. So, right, maturity. and, i'm babbling and i sound like i'm drunk. but i'm not

anyway, uhm, it's a shame that you're so, uhm, drawingly challenged but nevermind, i do have an image of them in my head. just, being SO curious, of course i'd want to see the image *you* have. but, uhm, it's just me being curious. so it's ok.

and, take your time with the update.....i'm sure it will be worth the wait

of course, when i say take your time that doesn't mean i will stop posting obsessively asking for the next part since you gave me the ok

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Vale
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"When you get excited about something, one might imagine you as a small, maniacally grinning rubber ball, which someone throws at the wall in an enclosed room, and goes bouncing off every surface for about 15 minutes." - Mudrat

okay im literally runnin out the door in 30seconds and i apologise for my lack of feedback i just arrived back in the country today lol BUT i had to say:



my mind went to a dirty place . could it be?!?! or should i go back and sit in my mind's gutter heh..

-bell

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let me live forever.. in the space between our lips...

Vale – I think I understand what you’re saying about their age vs. their understanding of what they’re doing. I find it very ironic. I’m the one saying “17 year olds can be very mature” and a 17 year old is the one saying, “they have no idea…” I actually find that humorous. That said, I kind of agree with you that they may be mature in many areas but that they don’t understand what their love means or how it fits into their society. They’re following hormones and instinct and a kind of lack of impulse control I guess. Anyway, I think you’re explaining it very well and I couldn’t agree more.

I have to quote that because it’s about 110% true and still doesn’t even begin to touch the import of their relationship being so private. The fact is that they could absolutely have this relationship and have it be private and have it go on forever. The problem isn’t with what anyone thinks about the relationship within their chambers. The problem is what happens to the relationship outside the chambers or their relationships with others or the relationship within each of them. I hope that makes sense.

Pretty much.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Belli Bear – Hello. Thanks for posting even in the hurry. You know I love posts/feedback.
Lol. No dirty place there. I’ve written plenty of that before (see Please or S&S or Water). Here, we won’t have that. I meant more that in the past she has been Tara’s servant very privately and in the future she will also have quite a few household responsibilities to carry out.

Thanks.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

Well, Debra, it has taken me oh, so long--but I am caught up and delighted. This is indeed your best work yet. The writing has subtlety and nuance and above all--at least for me--a rocking good story with people I care about.

As many people have already written, power imbalance is a fascinating element and this setting gives you a wonderful opportunity to explore it. The very nature of the relationship dictates certain inequities, but how do personal tendencies play into that? Would this relationship look the same if their social stations were reversed? It's clear that Tara is incredibly loving and kind--her pain for Dani's marks is just one example--and yet she was born to privilege, and I think it's terrifically difficult for people who have never known want to grasp the full extent of their own power; indeed, even to recognize they have it.

The marks are a fascinating addition, and you use them well. They also give you considerable room to play with the power, and the idea of pain born willingly and with pride, and the very element of belonging to someone else. The "yours now" comment twisted my heart--it was so simple and vulnerable but also troubling in some regards. I think that Tara does consider herself to be Dani's as well--emotionally, romantically--but the inescapable fact of literal ownership seems decidedly one-way.

The other element that I'm enjoying is the shift in time. The events we're reading about are filled with love and devotion and utter connection--but we already know that SOMETHING happens. I like that there's the occasional reference to it but not so repeatedly as to feel annoyed by it, if that makes any sense. You know, the kind of "How could I have known that things would go so wrong?" stuff, dropped into every other paragraph. There's one sentence in this last update where Tara just says, simply, that she is tired and heartsick and is digressing from her tale. (I should have quoted it; I know I didn't get it verbatim.) It's a one-sentence paragraph, and it drops a powerful reminder in a stark, understated way. Me liked.

As ever, your gift for description comes through and adds greatly to your tale. (As I've mentioned to you in private messages, I sometimes have to remember to feed my characters.) I like that you cover the less romantic (in the original sense of the word) aspects of the day; not everything is ornate and beautiful and bathed in the soft golden light of a setting sun.

So--let not the delay of my response suggest diminished enjoyment, o Scribe! I think that this is very, very good stuff.

Adieu for now~
Mary

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I always wanted to be somebody, but I realize now I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin

Okay, I may be way off here but I did not read Willow's "yours now" with such tragic finality as you intended. I think Willow's role in this universe you have created is perfectly consistent with the Willow we knew in canon where more than anything she wanted to belong. Yes, I get that in this story she literally belongs to Tara and given our 21st Century Western ideas that is bad, but I am going to need more than Tara's veiled and vague digressions to believe that this situation is not what Willow wants.

Putting aside the concept that freedom for its own sake is good, I would argue that this world in which Willow and Tara live is a good one. Yes Willow is smarter and can and should get more, but that's me talking with my 21st century hindsight. Me in the mythic hierarchical realm thinks that as servant/master social structures go this one is a pretty good one. I would want to see some outside (by that I mean social, political) development in the story to understand and see Willow's awakening to the understanding that although her case is a golden cage, it is still a cage. I want to see something external because as I have argued above, in canon, our Willow was equally smart but curiously she made the choice to stay where she was tethered to the slayer as a sidekick for the chance to belong to somebody or something. Willow's weakness despite her massive brain mass seems to be the fact that more than anything she wants a place in the world. And what better place in the world than this one where she is so highly valued and where she has a benevolent master whom she loves.

As for Tara being clueless, well of course she is, people of privilege are clueless because they have no reason to be otherwise. There have been studies of how the oppressed always know more about the oppressor. They have to know more because in that knowledge lies their survival. Plus which Tara is 17, she's a kid for crying out loud, and we want her to be fully conscientized about the oppressed?

For the record, no I don't support servitude nor slavery, nor do I hide behind cultural relativism or Western hindsight to justify oppression in other cultures/lands. All I am saying is that I don't see the catalyst for Willow's awakening yet, all I see is Tara's description of their world and her cluelessness. And yes, cluelessness can turn out to be fatal in hindsight but right now I see a world that although skewed, could be worse.

Having said that, I must say that your powers of imagination in creating this world are great. I find that when I read fanfic I prefer dialog over description but having grown up reading classical literature I understand the importance of description and you do it very well.

Thanks for sharing this story. I can't wait to see what goes wrong for these two.

Safuega

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In darkness there can be light
In misery there can be beauty
In death there can be life -El laberinto del fauno-

Mary – Did I mention welcome back!!! Thanks for the kind words about this story and my writing.

Oh yes, this story is so about the power imbalance and what we perceive as a power imbalance and whether that is truly what is happening here. What a fascinating question. I will admit that I haven’t thought about that. I guess my initial reaction is that it would work less well if the positions were reversed because it’s Willow who could so easily dominate Tara in an “equal” relationship as she did on the show. I mean every once in a while Tara gave Willow a look like in “I was Made to Love You” but those looks mostly made me think that Willow was p-whipped rather than that the relationship was equal. I guess in a way, it’s why reading W/t NC-17 stuff as opposed to T/w doesn’t really work for me.

Yes, absolutely. And I can promise that at the point in the story that we are, Tara truly does not understand the power she has over Dani or what it might mean to Dani to be possessed by someone, even someone she loves.

The comment about “born to privilege” makes me think of that incident during the Clinton/Bush election when Bush (Sr.) went to a grocery store for some photo op and he was just fascinated about the scanner at the register. I think it gave America more of an opportunity to see that this is a man who has not been in a grocery store since scanners came about!

While Tara’s position includes a great deal of responsibility to take care of the people of her “Estate” which includes actually also gives her some authority over the surrounds, I’m not sure that she could ever really comprehend hunger or want in the way that they can.
Thank you. As I said in an earlier e-mail I really wanted to play with the idea of owning someone else who had voluntarily entered that bond and I started to ask myself “what would that universe be like?” and the marks came out of that planning session.

Good. I mean it to be sad and ironic. I believe that Dani is Tara’s because they love each other but also that Dani is giving in completely in that sentence. And the ownership is absolutely one-way.
Thank you. I will admit that it’s a challenge and that I have written more of that and then edited it out in the editing process than any other aspect of this story. In the Journey update, I actually had an entire few paragraphs on the way some nobles treat their servants and how Tara judges that but then she starts to see herself the same way but I felt like it was too pounding that regret on the head. You know? Anyway, I don’t mean to prattle on saying, “gosh, Mary. You’re right; I’m a big writing stud.” I guess I just mean thank you.

I’m so interested in your and the next reader’s comments on my description. That is one aspect of my writing that I sometimes doubt simply because I tend to think that if I put too much energy toward it it just pushes too hard. I guess I kind of always want to think of the exact word that tells exactly how the image “feels” to me and then put that down. Does that make any sense? I guess it’s description but to me it just feels precise.
I’d be interested in some examples of that. I guess I feel like I skip over all the non-romantic stuff to get to the meat of the tale and at times I wonder if that feels too obvious to the reader.

Thank you so much. I’m so glad you’re visiting us again and hope you have a new story planned for us.

Safuega – Bring on the dissent and discussion. I love it. Oh, I am not saying that Willow here is inconsistent with the Willow in cannon. I absolutely think that in cannon she desperately wanted the opportunity to fit in to the point of doing dangerous and ill-advised things over and over again. (Aren’t we lucky that she fell in with a bunch of super-heroes rather than gang bangers or something like that). But, and you are right that I am coming from my 21-st century ideas (it’s the only place I have to come from) that I read that line as her giving in (again and more) to being owned as a human being/possession. And I think that even voluntarily giving up your freewill and your autonomy is still giving up your freewill and autonomy. I also think that her position removes from her the ability to love Tara freely. Even if we accept that Dani loves Tara (which I absolutely intend), she is not truly free to do so in this situation because she is not free to not do so.
I fear saying too much here. I will say that Tara is the narrator and a faulty one at that. It’s entirely possible that Dani does love Tara and that Dani absolutely wants the situation to be as it is and that Tara is still justified in her pout (for lack of a better word).

Absolutely. Even though Dani is bound to Tara, there is no doubt that being a bound servant is a “good deal,” otherwise no one would enter into that role. And certainly being a bound servant to a powerful magic user on a very wealthy Estate would be a fantastic position. I think that it begs the question of why exactly D’Shel desired this so badly for her child.
Oh yes. And I will say, again hoping to not give too much away, that that is not a conflict you will see in this story. You will not see a point of Dani wanting to have a different position.
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes. I think that here it goes even farther than that. Let’s assume for the moment that Dani does love Tara. Ok. If she were not Tara’s servant, how would they have any relationship? As far as we know, Tara rarely, if ever, has contact with any free people. How would she ever meet Dani? And how would Dani have been educated? What would Dani’s position in life be without this?

Point well taken about Tara’s cluelessness. I’m not saying that she should be otherwise or even intending to criticize her. She is exactly as she is supposed to be: the Lady of an estate. And by definition that doesn’t include a highly perceptive concept of the concerns of the people who work for her. And I don’t think that it should. I mainly want to point out that her cluelessness impacts both her actions in that world and her narration as she shares the story with us (or as I use her to do so in a very naive way).
I think you’re completely on target in your viewing here. There is no indication of a catalyst for Dani’s “awakening” and I hope to not have implied in my feedback that there has been such an awakening. From the digressions in Tara tale, I can confirm that something has happened and that Dani is not currently with Tara. What that something is is just the question. And honestly, one thing that I hope is that when it happens, it will seem grave enough. That the “what happened” won’t leave readers going, “what? What!!!!???” and cursing at their computer screens. I hope that they will see the heartbreak and pain of the what happens and understand it. I know, cryptic much?

Thank you so much and thank you for your very thought out points about the setting and the meaning of servitude/freewill. I really appreciate the discussion.

I’m seriously considering making that my new signature. That’s so great!

Thanks.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

Having just re-read both Y'all and Paths I see that other posts already somewhat made the point that occured to me as well; judging a society as 'less' compared to your own is a tricky business. For all we know the people in said society could be perfectly happy the way they are.

It's a case of "If you don't know what you are missing, you won't miss it".If both Dani and Tara honestly accept their situatiuon and are fine with it, they can indeed be perfectly happy for a looong time.

I fear however that esp. Dani will eventually start to 'miss' things. She's the explorer/understanding-stuff type.

Somewhat reminds me of the Truman Show movie, all is fine as long as all people concerned stay nicely within their 'roles'.

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"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it."
-- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

grimlock72 – Absolutely. We are all (or some of us) looking at this world and thinking “masters and servants?” = bad thing but I’m not sure that for them it is.

Agreed but we’ll see how that goes. I like your comparison to the Truman Show.

Thanks.

[center][/center]


Story Title – Waiting for Dani

Chapter – 8 – The Preparation Fortnight

Author – JustSkipIt

Pairing – T/W

Feedback – Yes, please

Spoilers – None

Rating – PG

Disclaimer – Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own Willow and Tara and the Buffyverse. I’m not saying this universe is totally original but I didn’t steal it from any author or creator that I know of. No copyright infringement is meant by this fic and I will not make any money from it.


The next two weeks seemed to pass unbelievably quickly. It was not that nothing of note happened but that the entire household was busy, busier than usual by far. Dani’s mark continued its healing, aided by Gael’s regular visits and his admonitions to stretch and bend the skin. I will admit that at times, I felt quite grateful for that instruction. I had long enjoyed watching my girl when she didn’t realize my eyes were upon her, not thinking myself intrusive for it but feeling compelled to watch her as she moved so quickly and efficiently in any space.

I knew that I was in love with my girl. It had been summers indeed since I had started to wonder at the way I felt for her: was it usual? Was it something she returned? When we were younger I felt that I could exist simply being with her always—that I needed nothing more from her than to be in her presence and that I would always feel my soul fulfilled. Lately, however I was starting to want something more. More…

What had transpired the night of my mark taking was beyond words and my mind dwelled on it at the most unpredictable times. That was not to say that I wasn’t thinking of it at predictable times: when we were getting ready for bed or kissing my love as she leaned against the desk, her hands gently twining in my hair with those greedy sounds coming from somewhere deep in her throat. Then, of course, my mind visited that night and my body responded accordingly every time.

But at other times, the intensity of my memories and the strength of my body’s reaction to those memories caught me off guard and made my breath catch in my throat. I would be taking a bite of lamb with mint jelly or turning a page in a book on wind currents and suddenly those memories would assail me. I felt almost lightheaded for wanting her in my arms every second of the day.

We exchanged shy and flirtatious glances and hundreds if not thousands of kisses throughout that time and I felt as if I had left our world to visit The Creator in her very home.

As to whether my girl returned my same feelings. I felt it as surely as I felt my own for her. Her eyes seemed to move over my body when I wasn’t watching and my kisses seemed returned with equal passion. And if she was not as assertive, not as bold in seeking out my embrace, I thought nothing of it at the time. I was her mistress and she my servant and it would have seemed out of place for her to take greater initiative than I in this portion of our love.

At least that was what I told myself at the time and for a long time afterwards.

We were more busy during that two weeks than ever before, preparing for the celebration to come. As the Lady of the Estate, I had more responsibilities than I had dreamed existed, both domestic and political. It fell to me, and through me to Dani, to direct the household staff in preparation for the feast and housing our guests. A veritable army of villagers temporarily joined our permanent staff to clean and prepare the guest rooms and cartloads of supplies, food, and drink arrived daily during the second week of the fortnight.

Guests had responded months earlier to our invitation and we now began the exercise of positioning each contingent within the Estate rooms not to mention at banquet tables. This was not such an easy project as you might imagine given the subtle and not-so-subtle politics of the Estates involved. We expected contingents from seventeen Estates, about half bringing a Lord or Lady of five marks (many both). We assigned quarters based on a number of factors including rank, relationship, prior political relations with other families, number in the party, rank of others in the party, and preferences of the guests. Some Lords quartered with their wives while others preferred more freedom at a gathering such as this and it was our responsibility as host to know this preference and provide for it without question. Thankfully, my father was unusually astute in his knowledge of these preferences and was able to communicate them without reservation or judgment. Many late nights Dani and I spent bent over the table in my foyer moving scraps of paper and names on scrolls to position everyone perfectly during the gathering. I say that Dani and I moved these scraps but truly she did not seem to need such reminders. Dani would never have insulted me by pointing it out but it was clear that she was absolutely capable of storing complex scenarios in her amazing mind and changing them instantly to try a new solution. As the exercise went on, I realized that in most cases when she used the scroll or sand table, she was only doing it to make the positioning clear to me.

One evening, my father came to my rooms as we worked on this positioning. After our bows and displays of marks, he sat down and visited with me regarding the decisions I had made. He made a few subtle suggestions but otherwise left my conclusions in place and agreed that we had a workable solution. Given the latest solution, 103 of the 112 guest chambers in our house would be in use for the celebration. Before leaving my father bowed to me once again and glanced at Dani. “Lady Tara, I am wondering if Dani would be available to assist me for a short while?”

“Certainly, Lord Maclay,” I answered.

I asked Dani to do as my father requested, releasing her to his direction and continued in writing up our conclusions. She returned perhaps an hour later and explained that he had asked her to verify his calculations on a number of factors including the supplies for our celebration as well as the time table of events following the ball. I strode across the room to wrap my arms around my girl and whispered in her ear, allowing, I’ll admit, my tongue to brush against their very sensitive tops. “Everyone in this house sees your brilliance, my love.”

My girl’s voice seemed to crack and she pressed more tightly against me. “Yes, My Lady.”

I slowly kissed her lovely and irresistible jaw line. “We would be lost without your perfection.”

My girl wrapped her arms around my waist and turned her head as she began to nuzzle into my neck, her lips so gently touching the sensitive skin there in way that made me feel much like the aforementioned mint jelly. “No, My Lady. It is you who dazzle us all with your perfection.”

The feel of her breath on my neck was making me feel dizzy and I started pulling her toward the bed while beginning to kiss her soft lips. “Tara,” I whispered as I kissed her.

She pulled back for a moment and I thought she would want to stop moving toward the bed. Her eyebrows both rose as she looked at me quizzically. “My Lady?”

Her look was so adorably puzzled, something I rarely witnessed, that I kissed her again before explaining myself. “Please call me Tara when we are alone.”

Her look of puzzlement remained for a moment or two and then the corners of her mouth twitched up. “Of course, m…” and her mouth was on mine, kissing me and gently pushing me again toward the bed. And that night… I can hardly share more except to acknowledge that I had reached a point of wanting more. So much more. And I knew just what that more was and how I wanted Dani. So badly. So very badly.

--

By a few days before the celebration we were all running on perhaps four to five hours of sleep a night. For Dani this hardly seemed an issue as she was used to short sleep hours but others among us, Anne and surprisingly Dale, seemed quite out of sorts. And so, in addition to my expanded responsibilities, I also roamed the castle providing meditation assistance and energetic sparks to those lagging behind. Each such session seemed to drain a bit of my energy and I had to then go outside to replenish it from the earth and trees.

A week before the celebration the hunting expedition set out to great fanfare. Faith headed it up and it was her first such honor. Even without her marks (scheduled for the coming Winter Solstice), she was so widely regarded as the finest horsewoman, hunter, tracker, and fighter in the region that no one would question such a dispensation. With her she took Donnie who not only provided the power of his nobility and marks but his impressive hunting and riding skills, D’rek, and Faith’s future bonded servant Dawn.

Finding Dawn years earlier had been quite an accomplishment as Melanie had tried and tried to find a servant who could bring a civilizing influence to Faith’s nature. Rather, Faith ran off the first seven girls brought to the Estate and was working on an eighth when my Father returned from town with Dawn in tow.

One of my father’s duties as Lord of our estate and therefore the surrounding villages was to hear complaints, mediate disputes, and dispense justice as necessary. As his jurisdiction included three villages and their surrounds, he rotated his visits, spending the day in one village per moon. In the moons following my mark taking we would begin to divide this task between us and I had been with him many times to sit in council and assist his decisions. He was, if I do say so, an extremely kind while fair judge.

Two summers earlier he had returned from the village with Dawn. She was given into D’elam’s care for the night as we discussed what my father had to report. Her story began quite normally with a hungry child stealing an apple from a cart and being caught. Much as we attempted to provide for all our people, it could not be helped that some of the citizens were not interested in working or were more interested in drinking ale than feeding their families or that children were left behind when families moved on. The villagers usually worked together to care for abandoned children such as Dawn but this was the first time they had seen or at least caught her. For months prior to her being caught, the villagers had noticed mysterious disappearances of working clothes, blankets, bread from their stores but they could never catch the culprit. They even reported that there seemed to be no lock this new presence could not foil. This day, however, she was caught with her hand quite literally in the apple cart.

I do not know what my father saw in her in that brief interview but he ordered her to stay throughout his day at the tavern and brought her home. His inclination, it turned out, was quite inspired. She was a natural at riding and fighting and seemed to have no more use for the indoors than did Faith. The two of them running wild throughout the estate nearly did Melanie in. Fortunately for all of us, Melanie began to realize the value that Faith saw in Dawn and convinced my sister that without taming, Dawn would never be acceptable as Faith’s servant. So both of them calmed down a little. Faith taught Dawn to read and write and do simple sums and they went to Anne for help in their domestic responsibilities.

I like Dawn and especially like her for Faith. She is a very good match even if her voice tends toward a high-pitched whine when she doesn’t like something. She’s got an unnatural fear of snakes and can be heard shouting, “get out, get out, get out!” when one crosses her path. Fortunately, or perhaps cruelly, Faith is amused by Dawn’s snake fear so she isn’t bothered by the shouting and the rest of us have grown used to the periodic outbursts.

Again I digress. I was saying that Faith headed up the hunting expedition for our celebration. Due to their relative strengths, Derek went with the expedition while Dale stayed home to serve as father’s man in Derek’s absence. While I’m sure both father and Donnie missed their personal servants, Dale and Derek had enough experience to be able to fulfill their duties suitably well.

We gathered in the courtyard just after breakfast to see off our warriors with gifts and blessing of success in their hunt, then watched them until they had ridden out of sight. I squeezed Dani’s hand and felt her returning the feeling. We didn’t have to speak to know how proud we felt of our baby sister riding out at the head of a hunting expedition. Of our hunting expedition.

Once they had gone, we resumed preparing the estate for our visitors. For the final week of our preparations I had an additional duty to attend to: preparing my magical display. Receiving my marks, this gathering would differ from many others in that I would be the only noblewoman to perform a display. At most weddings and other gatherings, all magic users present worked to perform magic. My display was intended to be very understated and precise. Most magical displays were ostentatious for lack of a better term. The noblewoman generally attempted to display the greatest power and scope for her magic. However, I was an artist. I was not expected to send doves flying from my fingertips or make stars flicker in closed rooms. By definition, I could not truly display my skill in artistry. My future renown would come from the beauty of the marks I created and their purity and strength as noted by the result of the bondings.

Tadre stayed at my Estate for the week prior to the celebration to help me prepare for my display but my other, most frequent tutor, T’solde could not come. Although she had been to the Estate immediately following my marks, this period between Dani’s mark taking and our unveiling was a period of relative seclusion. We could interact with our own servants and family members and the free people, but not nobles or servants of other families until the ceremony presenting us.

Because of my magical practice, hours went by without my seeing Dani. My girl was handling much of the preparation for the gathering and was doing a truly sensational job. I was as proud of her as ever and told her so, at great length, each evening in the privacy of my rooms. Late one afternoon I finished my lesson and went in search of my girl. I could feel her presence behind the stables, but didn’t wish to call her to me. When I stepped around the stables, it took me a few seconds to pinpoint her location among the mélange of lumber, men, and noise. At one side stood my girl and a young man with a pencil in his hand. He leaned against a wall, writing on a piece of wood, then handed the pencil to my girl who added to his markings. It was curious that a workman could write but entirely possible that he knew only enough writing to do his calculations.

I approached them slowly, enjoying the feel of the sun on my head and the sight of my girl interacting so naturally with yet another person on the Estate. When I was a few steps away yet, she looked up and spotted me with a broad smile. “My Lady.” She nodded her head.

The young man bowed deeply and held it for three seconds. His show of respect impressed me as the full three second show was not strictly required for a free man but we would see if it would stand him in good stead. My first impression was quite favorable. I dropped my hand and waited for his introduction.

Dani stepped forward. “My Mistress. Lady T’ra Maclay. This is Alexander Builds. He is lead carpenter for the village and directing the temporary stables.”

Alexander bowed again as if unsure how to address me so I extended my hand. He did the same and I touched my mark to his bare palm. I expressed honor and respect to meet him and praised him for his work on the structures.

“Thank you, my Lady.” He reached in his pocket and I only had to wonder for a moment before he pulled a small dark figure and held it in his hand. He faltered in his speech as he extended his hand. “I believe that it is customary to present a gift of respect on the taking of your marks?” I nodded and he continued. “Please accept this whistle. I carved it in the image of the blue panther. The sound is true and you would do me an honor by accepting this gift of my craft.”

I extended my hand palm up and touched the it to the bottom of his hand. “I accept your gift and thank you for the honor you bestow upon my Ladyship.” He dropped the whistle into my hand and I ran my hand over the wood finding it perfectly smooth. Fine craft indeed. I turned my attention to Dani. “Dani, when you are finished here, I would appreciate your assistance in the ballroom.”

“I can return here, My Lady,” my girl quickly answered. She politely bid good bye to the builder and told him she would come when she could to check on his progress.

As we stepped around the stables and proceeded toward the castle I observed the construction. “They are working very quickly. It would seem the stables will be ready in time for the celebration.”

Dani nodded. “Yes, My Lady. Xander thinks that they will actually finish the work ahead of schedule.” She took a breath. “He also suggests that we consider leaving the temporary stables in place until after Faith and Anne’s celebration. Or he says that we can collapse the buildings and store the walls so that the next time the work will be quicker.”

I nodded. “He thinks clearly but he puts himself out of work with this plan.”

“Yes, My Lady. Xander agrees but he says he has enough work to do and wants to do a superior job for your Estate even if that means fewer work days for himself and the other men.”

I considered this. “Your friend is a respectable man. I hope to see him at the free celebration.” We had reached the back garden with its winding paths and I pulled Dani by the hand into an indention in the hedge. I wrapped my arms around her to pull her close and began to kiss the pulse point in her neck. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you look today, my love?”

Dani smiled flirtatiously and whispered something I don’t think I’ll repeat in my ear. Suffice it to say that I felt compelled to kiss her soundly and that we didn’t emerge from that hedge for quite some time.

--

The hunting party returned the day before Solstice to great glory and the kitchen staff as well as the temporary workers we had from the villages set about preparing the meat for our feasts. Faith was in glory for the success of the hunt and Father and I honored her so. The evening of her return we had a large feast for family and servants only and Faith was served first as well as getting to carve the roast for everyone else. After serving herself, she served Donnie, Derek, and Dawn. It was quite a revelry although the entire contingent retired early to be prepared and at our best for the next day.

Normally, visitors to an Estate would be greeted by the Lord or Lady of the Estate, both if the visitors were of particularly high rank. In the absence of a Lady, such as when Donnie was presented, visitors were greeted by my father or Melanie in my stead. Because of my seclusion, visitors to the celebration were greeted by my father, Melanie, or Donnie. Faith and Anne were unable to greet our many many visitors because they did not yet possess their marks—a limitation which grated terribly on Anne because it kept her from seeing so many young noblemen arriving in their splendor. She complained that other girls would have first choice while she would be left with hunchbacks or those with warts or congenitally bad breath. The rest of us attempted to reassure her that she would be the belle of the ball while hiding our laughter. Her future servant, an insipidly cheery girl named Delia, praised her domestic skills and assured her that the noblemen would trip over their own feet to reach Anne for the first dance. Even with Dani’s noisily tapping her cup on her saucer to keep Faith’s comment from Anne’s ears I heard my youngest sister clearly. “I don’t know why you’d want to dance with anyone who can’t even keep from tripping over his own feet.”

I can’t tell that Faith possessed any great wish to meet eligible noblemen and I now think that my lack of interest must have radiated throughout the Estate. Fortunately for me, I could be choosy and not attract undue attention or derision for that. As a Lady holding five marks and fourth generation magic user and artist, even at a gathering such as this finding nobility of a high enough birth to equal mine would be very unlikely and it would only show well on my family that I was not willing to marry beneath myself. Of course, the expectation that I would eventually and gloriously bear an heir to my title and my magic was unspoken but understood by literally everyone. My mother’s death was still a fresh wound to many and that memory further removed the pressure from me to bring that heir to this world quickly.

My siblings bore greater and varying levels of expectation regarding their marriage prospects. Donnie needed to marry well and produce an heir to his eventual title as well as a magic user. However my father married for love and he expected his children to do the same. Anne obviously wished to marry quickly and there was no doubt that she desired a title greater than “Miss Anne.” In order to become a Lady, she would have to marry a Lord or eventual Lord of an estate with a vacant Lady title. In truth, three such prospects were attending our ball and Melanie had hardly been a master of subtlety in schooling Anne and Faith on these attendees. Faith’s position was less intense than the other two. If she had the temperament, she might have been determined to marry into a grander title. But Faith was… Faith was Faith and her priorities were her own.

Pressure or not, inclination or not, my celebration was the dominant social event of our adolescence. Not only the Maclays but many other families would be seeking alliances and displaying their most marriable exhibits. It wasn’t for nothing that the celebration would include dinners, balls, competition, a festival, performances, and political meetings. Families with lower ranks would be seeking to improve their position while families such as ours would wish to cement our position while allying with similar others. The celebration promised to be the grandest, most elaborate, and most crucial event of my life to this point.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

Uh oh.

This puts an uncomfortable twitch in my belly. As lovely as some parts of this update were, this doesn't forebode well for Tara and Willow. I look forward to the next update, even if it is with some trepidation.

Alright. I'm gonna say that my first comments on this story were, well, for lack of a better word, wrong. I'm not ashamed to say that after reading some of the comments other people have posted on your work, I finally see something else in this story besides the big romantic picture of Tara and Dani living happily ever after.

I re-read this story from a different angle, determined that I would better understand it this time. And I have to say that my views have totally changed. I no longer find this story weaving a beautiful romantic tale, but now more depressing and subservient.

Tara's lack of understanding almost frightens me. I don't want to say she disregards Dani's feelings, but it's more like she projects her own onto Dani. I fear that the emotions she thinks Dani feels for her are merely a reflection of her own, and not Dani's at all.

I'm not sure how I've gone from thinking this was a fairy tale to a horror story, but I did. This last chapter actually made me cringe.

[blockquote]And if she was not as assertive, not as bold in seeking out my embrace, I thought nothing of it at the time. I was her mistress and she my servant and it would have seemed out of place for her to take greater initiative than I in this portion of our love.

At least that was what I told myself at the time and for a long time afterwards. [/blockquote]

That quote really made me nervous. It's as if Tara is deluding herself, because at this point I''m not even sure that Dani loves her. Tara calling herself the mistress and Dani her servant really struck a chord. I know that's what their roles are, but she's applying those same titles in their relationship, and that will never end well. A relationship is supposed to be an equal partnership, and that is certainly not what is happening here.

My hope is that Tara starts to understand her role in not only society, but in her relationship with Dani. She has to understand that Dani may not share the same feelings, and even if she does, Dani would not be able to deny her lady anything.

Once again, this is an amazing universe you've created, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Fantastic Job =).

~Sara

Hello !

First time I don't like W/T's kisses! There's something wrong with Tara...

Thank you for the update :-)

Julia

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Broken Dolls |The Stadium's Goddesses | Seeds Of Beauty

"Joie est mon caractère, C'est la faute à Voltaire; Misère est mon trousseau, C'est la faute à Rousseau." Gavroche. Victor Hugo, Les Misérables (chap. XV)

Debra all I can say is I feel you are going to break my heart with this one and I feel it is coming very soon. I get a very bad feeling like big doom. I love everytime you put pen to paper. I fear when this is finally to a climax I might just pass out.

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Dia the spelunker
Never underestimate the powerful love of a good woman
If you were a cave what kind of cave would you be

Debra, that was one thought provoking update. here's the things that made me think:



so she knows....but what does she knows exactly? what does she know about love? she may know what she feels, but not what love is. and she's presumptuos to think that she even has an idea.



Tara is an idiot. she's really starting to piss me off. i mean, get a clue girl! something is not right! it reeks of wrongness, there's this....air of....not-rightness, and it's at the same time preposterous and completely understandable that Tara doesn't see it. i mean, i can understand that she is lacking in the objectivity department, seeing everything from the *inside*. bot honestly, it's so *clear*. Dani is....weird. she loves Tara, yes...i do believe she does. but something is...amiss. and i can't believe Tara is so blind, so closed in her own opinion and importance. bah.



LOL very fitting. whiny Dawn, who would have thought? i never liked her, and i never will. whiny....oh, how it suits her!



HA! it's a woman! God is a woman! i don't know why i'm so surprised, really that's interesting, though....it looks as another analogy with the Willow and Tara we know. except here *everyone* believes in a goddess. but still. yeah, i think that it somehow looks more....more like them, i guess, to believe in a goddess. i'm babbling, i know.



didn't like this part. itìs like Tara needs to buy time -- time for what? and why? ok, so it's obvious for what, and why, what i mean is....what will that mean for her and Dani? and more than that...if she needs to buy time, does that mean that what she feels, what they're doing, is *wrong*?

anyway, Debra, you're starting to make me anxious about those two. Tara is a complete *idiot*, doesn't have a clue about anything, but still instead of thinking about things she just keeps on doing what she wants. Dani is bound and can only voice her opinion to a certain point. there's nobody that knows about them that can speak up and buy Tara a clue. now i just want a big scandal, something to completely change the situation.

this reminds me of the term catastrophe, from the greek katastrofè....was used in tragedy to name an event that would turn the whole plot upside down. of course, nowadays it has a negative meaning but it didn't start out that way. and that's what we need now.....a katastrofè. cause seriously, this is getting annoying (oh, not you....them )

anyway, great job, as always i'll be patiently waiting for the next update

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Vale
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"When you get excited about something, one might imagine you as a small, maniacally grinning rubber ball, which someone throws at the wall in an enclosed room, and goes bouncing off every surface for about 15 minutes." - Mudrat

This chapter was very good, as were the others, but the comments after have me puzzled. Am I the only one that caught the inferrence that Dani is gone at the time Tara is writing this account?

Wolfkin

They are definitely getting more physical.

They still haven't talked about what happens the night Tara gets her marks.

I think Tara isn't sure if Willow pays so much attention to her because of obligation or because Willow really loves her. Also, I believe Tara is afraid she will be taking advantage of Willow's servitude if she tries to take things further.

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Tara: Willow, I got so lost.
Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

Deb,

I told you earlier that this was next on my list, so I started it and just couldn't stop. The work is amazing. You've crafted this whole world that I have never seen before, and I feel like I'm there. Nice work.

Now, the story. This story makes me itch. The subservience of Dani, the complete obliviousness of Tara. Itch... like the one in the middle of your back that you just can't reach. I will admit to a bit of discomfort in regards to stories of dominance and submission (Please, the series comes to mind), but I understand that these are choices made by condenting adults, and therefore simply a personal bias on my part. Here, however, there is no choice. Roles are forced upon individuals, and that smacks of things that really make me uncomfortable. I honestly do not see a happy ending here. And that's ok. My partner and I had a conversation about the forced happy ending clause and how it removes a certain literary element, that being tension, from the work. I find myself believing that the happy ending is Dani obtaining her freedom, and Tara understanding the need for it. That would make me happy.

Please do not accept my remarks as criticism. This is my highest praise. You've made me think... really look at the work. It is masterful and you are to be commended. Bravo!

Thank you and I can't wait for the rest of it.

Diane

P.S. In regards to Please the series, please do not think of my comments as criticism. I've read the whole thing 3 times. Great work there, too.

no, of course not. but since we don't know yet what happens, we comment on what we know now.

about what dlline said, i think i might agree. of course i like a happy ending....but i'm not so sure that in this story, the happy ending would be the right one

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Vale
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"When you get excited about something, one might imagine you as a small, maniacally grinning rubber ball, which someone throws at the wall in an enclosed room, and goes bouncing off every surface for about 15 minutes." - Mudrat

Depends on how you define 'happy', or perhaps more to the point how the people concerned define it. It's very difficult to judge a master/slave relationship if you only know what one side/party thinks. It's even worse since they are living in an entirely different world with other customs and expectations.

Tara is assuming quite a lot without getting feedback confirming those assumptions, that's true. That doesn't necessarily mean all her assumptions are 100% false.

Dani can be perfectly happy organising lotsa things for Tara and her estate, while kissing Tara of course . She could also see kissing Tara as part of her duty. That still doesn't mean she hates or dislikes it. It's not what I would call true love, but that's effectively impossible to get while having a master/servant relationship.

I see Dawn is brought in to tame Faith again, kind of a recurring theme ain't it? I didn't get the impression was that difficult a person in this story though. A bit of an outdoorsy wild-child, not much more than that. No locks could stop Dawn huh? Almost as if she had a key to all locks I guess ?

Does the formal talking between Tara and her father even when inside, end when the Tara/Dani presentation has been done? It still comes across as awfully distancing and cold, even though Mr. MaClay for a change doesn't strike me as such a bad father in this story.

I've come to the conclusion that it's more or less pointless to worry about Tara not 'getting' things. According to her world she might be the most perfect misstress ever to walk the earth. Given that we know from the beginning of this story that Tara is waiting for Dani to return (though it reads more like 'wishing' than 'waiting'). we can assume that eventually Tara will 'get'/understand some of the issues. Issues which are frustratingly obvious to some of the readers here (yours truly included:)) .

Anne really wants to get married and climb the royalty ladder doesn't she? Should be fun to see her antics on the celebration ball. I wonder if Tara will dance with people, if so with whom. Even if Dani would be jealous of that she wouldn't show it. She has been trained (too) well.

Enough feedbacking, gotta go sleep...

grimmy

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"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it."
-- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

it took me sometime but i finally managed to catch up all the chapters... reading Tara's words, I felt like super huge angst's heading our way... and not being about to see via Dani's POV only adding the suspicious...

at this point, I feel like Dani's knowing something Tara did not know, something that might affect Tara and Dani's relationship in a big way... maybe it's about the mark, but from the start i've this strange feeling that it's something related to Dani's ability in doing magic... and makes me more worried is that Dani might identify her love for Tara is something more based upon their role, as the lady and servant, instead of love between two equal human beings. Dani's clearly very loyal to Tara, and no doubt that she did love Tara in some way, but was she really returning Tara's feeling? Without reading Dani's thought, it's something that leaves people to wonder... (well, at least i'm wondering... )

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I am not crazy... my mum had me tested.

ok, i'll rephrase that. by happy ending i meant what is commonly considered a happy ending *here* on the board, or, more in general, what we commonly associate with a happy ending: the two parts ending up together, in a happy, committed, equal relationship. is that better? i get your point, i really really do.

and i'm not saying, either, that all of Tara's assumptions are true, just as i'm not saying that Dani doesn't actually love her -- i'm just saying that a lot of Tara's assumptions might be wrong, and more to the point -- that she's not concerned by the fact that she is, in fact, assuming. that is a problem that she will face later in the story, as she hinted in the latest update.

in the same way, i have no doubt, frankly, that Dani actually *likes* kissing Tara, and that she loves her. but, it seems to me that Dani understands a little better the rules, the problems, the dynamics of the world, as we said, *outside* their chambers, for she lives and works in it. she has contacts with people, on the estate, from very different social classes and levels, her mind is not closed in the importance and.....maybe it's too strong of a word, but also narrow-mindedness of the class Tara belongs to. it's like, even if Tara does know that there's a world outside of her, she doesn't really think about it, or understand how different it is from hers. while Dani can compare the two things, and it's for this reason that i think she has a different insight, a different understanding of their "relationship".

that said, of course it depends on the definition of happy one has in mind, and the definition of happy that this society and these characters will have. did that explain a little bit better? *hug*

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Vale
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"When you get excited about something, one might imagine you as a small, maniacally grinning rubber ball, which someone throws at the wall in an enclosed room, and goes bouncing off every surface for about 15 minutes." - Mudrat

...and yet again an update slips past me. Well, that's just not right!

Again. A very thought provoking and fabulous update... plus the hot and heavy smoochies. Yay smoochies!

So, um.... feedback.

Wow. You covered a lot of ground here -- and a lot of it was subtle, but really powerful.

So. Yay for Tara recognizing that she is in love with Dani, but what does that mean to her? It seems clear that she is guessing about how Dani feels, and that she leads a sheltered and seperate life from Dani's. The part that scares me is the presumption regarding Dani's feelings because Tara wields control and power over those feelings... and that makes me question free will.



Oy. Tara. This is going to lead to badness. I can just tell.

I mean, ok. I, like Tara, believe that Dani cares for and loves Tara. I even get that she would be less assertive, as Tara observes, because of her status. It is the whole status power dynamic lack of free will thing that is totally going unaddressed that makes me want to make large frustrated gesticualtions at the sky!!!

Plus - with all the talk of suitors and Anne and the guests and everything I got a wierd jealous vibe when Tara bumped into/saw Dani with Xander. I am going to go out on a limb and tell you that my fear is that he is gunna court Dani. Ugh. Of course he would be a good match, and a great asset to the family and that Tara's family would like him -- which is why it makes my belly rumble. Willow liked Xander. She would have the freedom and equality in a relationship that everyone wants and deserves -- and it would break Tara's heart into a million painful pieces... plus *hmmmm* force Tara to consider offering the same freedom and equality that potential suitor offers. *hmmm*

Now I am being all plot tangent girl.... but it does make a person think.

I mean, with the whole subtle shadow of pairing up and expecting heirs and this event is *the event* of this age to make those matches....

I guess what I am looking for, what I feel anxious about, is some sort of proof that Willow wants what she has with Tara. If I knew that, and I know I *should* 'cause this is the kitten board, I would feel better about the fact that my heart cheers everytime they lock lips. I just don't want to cheer for something that is manipulative or wrong and I am afraid I am.

But, i am not without hope.

You know what really gave me hope this update? These two things:

1. Tara finally states out loud that theirs is a master/servant relationship. Before now she never acknowledged it... so yeah, they still have it, and yeah it still makes me uncomfortable and itchy, but she's acknowlged it now -- so it can't be too far from now that she recognizes what it means for thier relationship.... and

2. She asked Dani to call her Tara. Ok, in private, and ok in relation to the kiss but also a very important step. She *is* Tara to Dani. It is the only way.

So there ya go.

Another great and thought provoking update!

db

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I am, you know.

PancakesinBellies – I think the uncomfortable twitch in your belly is well deserved. I’m glad that you thought some parts were lovely and also glad that you’re feeling foreboding doom. I wouldn’t disagree with you. Foreboding or not… I predict you will like some parts of it…

Thanks.

Sara – Hello and welcome again. Perhaps it has a touch of both.

I agree and yet I don’t in a way. On one hand, I want us to view Tara’s thoughts and actions with a skeptical eye and at the other she is a product of her training. She is quite immersed in her own world and perhaps is not capable of understanding anything from Dani’s pov. I think that your fear about Tara’s perception of Dani’s feelings being a projection of her own rather than Dani’s true feelings is a valid fear. We’ll see how that turns out.

I feel simultaneously complimented and a little afraid of that. I only hope that you will continue to read even if to find out if/how things will go so terribly wrong. I’ve made the analogy before that this story and this society may be one where it is beautiful on the surface with something very rotten underneath. I’m hoping both will keep you returning.

That’s probably a good reaction to that line. I consciously wanted to go very light on Tara’s self-recrimination in this chapter since so many readers have commented on the angsty vein running through this narrative but that one was irresistible. I think that you make a good point that Tara=mistress and Dani=servant needs to be their work relationship but that a personal relationship like that is just doomed. And it’s very hard to mix and separate the two…

I totally agree about what Tara “needs” to do regarding her understanding of Dani’s feelings or that Dani does not feel what Tara feels but … we will see when or if that happens.

Thanks so much.

Julie – I totally understand what you’re saying about the kisses. Thanks.

Dianneswillowtree – I hope you don’t pass out but I think that the “bad feeling like big doom” is very well placed. Keep reading…

Thanks.

Vale – Thank you. I think that Tara has a fair idea of what love and being “in love” both mean. Whether she has the maturity or humanity to do what is “right” with that love is, I think, a different question altogether.

I’m actually giggling as I read this. I mean, go ahead and say what you mean. Tee hee. Seriously. I get that you’re frustrated with her. Just keep in mind that she’s a product of her society and her role and her training. I’m not sure that at that point she has the ability to separate anything from anything else. You know?

Agreed and also agreed. I also believe that Dani loves Tara but I think that right now Tara can’t see that that might not be true. Later? We’ll see about later.

I’m glad that you were amused about Dawn. I feel mixed about Dawn. On one hand, her insertion into the narrative was truly brilliant from a changing the universe perspective. On the other, her execution lacked… depth? Here they have these BtVS sing-alongs at a theater and they always coach the audience to shout at her whenever she comes on screen. I think that’s a pretty typical reaction.

God is definitely a woman and this is a somewhat woman-oriented but not totally woman-oriented society. Noble men are definitely dominant over servants and society doesn’t really mind their being unfaithful to their spouses but really, society doesn’t have a problem with women being unfaithful either. Actually the only concerns in that area have to do with the magic. Women are technically more powerful because they can wield magic but both parents share equal power in creating that magic. And titles are both matrilineal and patriarchal. I’ve tried to make most things in this society relatively equal.

I don’t think that she is worried that it’s “wrong” but it’s not strictly what is expected of her. As she says, she’s expected to marry well (very very well) and produce at least a female heir if not more.

I think your anxiety is well placed. I love the idea of the katastrofe. Something which changes the story. It would be an interesting plot device.

Thanks.

wolfkin – Hell and welcome. I see that this is your first post and feel honored to have it. Thanks for the comments on the chapter. Yes, you are correct that Dani is not with Tara at the time that Tara is telling the story.

The Rose24 – I think that your thoughts on what Tara’s feelings might be are very good ones. Keep reading…

Thanks.

dlline – Hello and welcome. I’m glad that you started reading. This isn’t that far from completion…

Thanks for your initial comments on my writing and this world.
Ha ha. That’s a good way to put it.

I totally get what you’re saying about what is so “itchy” about this story (have you read Bellwether by Connie Willis? One of the characters describes certain things/situations as itch.)

I so understand what you’re saying and agree with you to large extent. I totally think that there would be more tension, more question if we did not have that clause. On the other hand, we choose to read/write on this board and we agree to the rules as they exist.

We’ll see how that goes… “and miles to go…”

I totally don’t see your words as criticism. I love what you’ve said and the topics you raise. Lol: reading Please 3 times. Glad you enjoyed.

Vale (again) – ha ha…

Re: happy ending. All I can say is that this story will adhere to the FAQs. That’s about all I’ll say.

grimmy -
Absolutely true. Does happy have to mean that we would be happy in that same situation or could it mean that they are in the most positive relationship they can find short of leaving their entire universe? You make an excellent point here and one that I really appreciate.

Man have you hit the nail on the head here. The fact that she doesn’t have confirmation doesn’t mean that her assumptions are false. But it doesn’t mean that they’re not either and bottom line is that she just doesn’t know.
Maybe I’ll start to get you to subcontract responding to feedback. Lol. Seriously, you are very very right here. We absolutely don’t know how Dani feels or what she wants and Tara doesn’t either. The fact that Dani may or may not feel that she is free to protest doesn’t necessarily mean that she would want to protest if she were free to do so. Agreed?

Good point about Dawn and Faith and the taming. I guess, yes for me that is a recurring theme. Honestly, I like Dawn and Faith together. Whether I set them up as siblings or servant/mistress or friends or whatever, I like them together. I have always felt that Faith of cannon needed someone to tie her to society. That person could have been friends like X & W or a decent watcher or some family but she didn’t get that. The only person who related to her as a person was a future principal eating snake. So she was committed to him. But no, Faith isn’t difficult here so much as she’s not what Melanie expected.
I would doubt it. By definition they have a pretty formal relationship. Both of them have to be concerned with their own station and the other’s station as well. I could imagine that they might lapse into father/daughter talk occasionally while alone but in front of Dani? Never. Anyway… sorry that it seems to cold.

Yes, and perhaps Wishing for Dani would have been a better title. (I think you suggested it early on). But I think your assumptions are very good ones.

Yeah. I’m using her as I always do.

Yes and you will see with who… I’ve just written that part.

Thanks so much.

Cynthia Taz – Welcome to caught up. I think your assumption of angst is well placed and yes, I am using Tara’s pov entirely largely to not allow you to see Dani’s. I think your wondering is very well placed. We don’t really know what Dani feels and won’t have the chance to find out.

Vale (again, again) – Ok, it’s mostly a conversation between you and grimmy which I don’t mind (stupid Word won’t accept “grimmy”; it wants to change it to “grimy” stupid…). But, yes I get what you’re saying about the commonly accepted definition of happy and the acceptable endings for this forum.

Totally

db – Wow. Well, I keep posting in the update thread but everytime I do some other awesome author posts an update right after me. One time it was like minutes later and I totally wanted to post again but that’s not fair.

It seems that today you are one of the only ones yaying the hot and heavy smoochies.
Thank you.

I agree with you that Tara is assuming how Dani feels but I’m not sure that Tara has actual control over Dani’s feelings even if she may have control over her actions.


Darn tootin!

Yeah. I get what you’re saying about the topic of the power dynamic going unaddressed but I also think that it is in character for both of them. Dani would never bring it up and what would Tara feel that she had to gain? She doesn’t see that there would ever be a way to change it and the conversation could only go badly (from her perspective). Seriously. Try to imagine a way that conversation could go well.

I was concerned about two reactions to this update. The first was my fear that Tara’s father asking to borrow Dani would make people think that he was going to take marks-rights. But no one has had that worry. And I will reiterate that that is never going to happen with him. The second was that people would worry of a relationship between X/W. Let me appease you. Not going to happen. Not 3% going to happen. Not going to be a worry at all. X will be an important character in the story but he is not in any way going to be involved or wish to be involved with Dani at all. Did that help?

Well yes, that would be nice wouldn’t it? But if I gave you that it would kind of ruin part of the rest of the story I think…
100% agreed and understood and supported.

Honestly though, that’s a big part of why I wrote this story and what I love about it. It is multi-faceted. It’s not just they love each other so get it on… It’s so many more questions and it gives us a chance to kind of look at how we feel about the answers to those questions. You know?

I’m glad that those two points gave you hope. I agree that both are hopeful and also that there may be other aspects to them that … Ok. I’ve said too much.

Thanks so much.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

DIBS on the replies to feedback!

ETA: ok, so, i'll need to reread all of the replies before i come up with an insightful comment but, uhm, i'm glad i made you giggle

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Vale
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"When you get excited about something, one might imagine you as a small, maniacally grinning rubber ball, which someone throws at the wall in an enclosed room, and goes bouncing off every surface for about 15 minutes." - Mudrat

I don't quite understand the purpose of dibs on feedback replies, but each to their own, eh?

Anyway, back to the (to quote yourself in Cam's thread) dense update. Man, theirs is such an abusive relationship, even though if asked they will both vehemently deny that it is one. I truly believe Tara can place a hand over her heart and declare that Dani loves her, because she doesn't know otherwise. She has these strong feelings and intense physical reactions towards Dani, and Dani doesn't shrink from her touch -- what else can Tara believe? I also think that, if asked, Dani will say that she loves Tara -- I get the sense that Dani is enjoying the flirting, the kissing and the lovemaking too. How she really feels about it, I don't know. Perhaps she tells herself that is what she should be feeling; perhaps she knows that she cannot be in love (to this extent) with her mistress but can't help it; perhaps she knows this is wrong (or not 100% right) but since it's how Tara feels she will give Tara as much as she can, for as long as she can. One thing though, the physical passion and the mutual attraction are too real to be faked.


Unfortunately, the higher you put someone on a pedestal, the harder the fall. It's sad, since I now despair that they are both going to get very, very hurt and a ginormous disaster is waiting to happen. Oh wait, it's already happened hasn't it and we're circling back to hear Tara tell us, with limited insight. I almost can't bear (although on the other hand I can't wait) to know what happened.

The Faith and Dawn you've written are so like the Faith and Dawn from Paths, it's awesome. Anne seems to be the Hemery version of Buffy, and I chuckle at her single-minded pursuit of things frivolous and a suitor. Her intended servant is Cordelia? *sniggers* No, I didn't get any romantic vibes between Xander and Dani, more like respect for each other's capabilities in their respective work. Xander seems too nice and Dani only has Tara in her mind I think.

I'm not one for speculation, since I suck at it. But I'll go out on a limb to say that something significant happens at the ball. May not be a "big" event, but will affect the future of Tara and Dani. I mean, Tara has a destiny and a great duty to the Estate,

How the hell is she supposed to do that, and live happily after with her servant girl? I highlighted those last 2 words separately because each on their own is a stigma, and put together it's an impossible hurdle.

By the way,

That would have been a spreadsheet I'd like to get my teeth into, with all the juggling about and calculations based on the weighting of the different factors.
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quiet thoughts

Vale – Lol.

Watty – Hello and glad to see you. Hmmm. Abusive? I’m not sure that I’d classify it as abusive although it is definitely twisted. Is there a difference? I guess so to me and that difference is intent but I totally get what you’re saying. Oh yes, Tara definitely 100% believes that Dani loves her. That’s not a question at all. It certainly seems that Dani enjoys it. As far as the asking, I’m not sure that would reasonably quell anyone’s doubts or prove a thing. 1. Would Tara actually ask such a thing? 2 Would Dani actually answer such a question. 3. If Tara asked and Dani answered, would the answer be credible? If Tara actually felt vulnerable and open enough to ask that don’t you think that she would be perfectly capable of rationalizing Dani’s response whatever it may be? I mean people ask other people if they love them and then don’t believe the answer even without the confused and twisted constraints on these two.

See, and I guess that’s kind of what I’m saying above. Tara could have the same thoughts that you have if she were to ask. Tara: “I asked Dani if she loved me and she said she did more than the sun and the moon but perhaps she just wanted to say that because she thought that was what I wanted to hear… Oh. How will I ever know…” etc.

And I agree with you about the physical attraction but again think that what is what is important is whether Tara believes that to be true.

Oh totally agreed. But I also think that this society is all about pedestals or lower pedestals. They are all about rank and desirability and value so for these two to see that as a high compliment is totally expected. You know? It’s expected for Tara to be perfect given her rank and education and I totally believe that subconsciously she is trying to elevate Dani to be closer to her level. Does that make any sense?

Ha ha. Yes, the “disaster” has already happened although I hope that it will fulfill everyone’s expectations when it arrives.

I’m glad you like Faith and Dawn. I think my love for Faith is well known and I think that Faith and Dawn are a fun pair whether couple or sisters or whatever. Maybe it’s their play off Buffy? And Buffy? Well, I’m hard on her and continue to be hard on her. I know, I should have more respect for her but I just don’t so much.

I don’t think my response that we’ll see… will surprise anyone.

Absolutely. There’s the fact that Dani is a girl and that she’s not noble and each are their own problem.

No kidding. Imagine that Dani did it all in her head! And you might note that there are over 100 guest rooms in the Estate/Castle. My mother once told me that she had a job once where she created the class schedule for a college based on room size, instructor availability, and closeness to the instructor’s prior class. Given that it was 1956 I asked how and she said with a lot of index cards. I also asked about what if the students had classes way across campus and she said that wasn’t part of her calculation which I think explains a lot about class schedules.

Anyway, thanks always for your great comments.


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Story Title – Waiting for Dani

Chapter – 9a – The Celebration of the mark-taking of Lady T’ra Maclay and her bound servant, D’ni of the Estate of Maclay (Part I)

Author – JustSkipIt

Pairing – T/W

Feedback – Yes, please

Spoilers – None

Rating – PG

Disclaimer – Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own Willow and Tara and the Buffyverse. I’m not saying this universe is totally original but I didn’t steal it from any author or creator that I know of. No copyright infringement is meant by this fic and I will not make any money from it.



Being free and in fact restricted from responsibilities, Dani and I had a relatively private day leading up to our celebration. The staff and servants were more busy than usual with so many houseguests although the fact that nearly every noble man or woman brought a bound servant at least relieved much of the work. Oh, the kitchens still needed to prepare copious amounts of food and drink but the guests’ servants mostly came to the kitchen or helped in serving the pre-celebration banquets.

The stables had been completed for two days and we hired extra workers from the nearest village to assist with the horses as each contingent arrived. Most of the visiting Estates sent one or two servants to the stables to care for their horses and sleep in the accommodations provided there.

Dani and I were sequestered from the guests although our family and Tadre came to the rooms throughout the day to visit, ask questions, or send messages. Tadre, in typical fashion, brought a scroll on ancient marking traditions and expected me to have it memorized for our lesson in five days. Anne and Faith as well as their girls took lunch with us and spent most of the morning in our rooms playing “Chest”: a game of strategy utilizing icons to represent noble men or women and their servants on a grid of black and white squares. Only two people could play at once but we all crowded around to offer advice or criticize moves. Dani’s tabulation of our “tournament” demonstrated her victory (this was no surprise) and Delia winning no games (again, this was no surprise). I surpassed my expectations by beating Faith to take second place and I would doubt that she was playing a true game, perhaps wanting to give me confidence on this day, but such a thing is not in her nature nor any of ours.

After a late lunch, the others returned to their rooms and rest and Dani and I lay down to do the same. I’ll admit that our nap was well delayed by the exchange of many gentle and a few not-so-gentle caresses and kisses but we slept a few hours nonetheless. D’rs came to deliver a snack of fruit and cheeses and to wake us in the late afternoon. Asking my permission, she spoke to Dani privately in the foyer as I soaked in the tub. While I don’t know what she said, I know that when she returned to bathe me, Dani’s eyes shined wetly. “Are you ok?” I did not want to ask her a direct question as the matter was obviously private and she could not resist answering but I wanted to ensure that my girl was well.

Dani smiled and reached for the sponge. “Yes, My Lady. Thank you for asking.” When she had done washing me, my girl took her turn and the fresh hot water allowed her a longer soak than usual. I reveled in the opportunity to return her attentions and she hardly protested the appropriateness of my actions.

We had just finished drying ourselves when D’rs and D’elam arrived to assist us in dressing and preparing our hair. Both wore elegant gowns carrying the Maclay theme and I complimented their presentation. Normally Dani would dress herself before attending to me but tonight we would both require assistance. Doris was more than capable and experienced at getting me into the most elaborate and complex set of undergarments, gown, and headpiece I had ever worn. My hair, she pulled into a sort of vertical twist and into that she wound a string of pearls and diamonds matching the headpiece. She, of course, accommodated my preference for a light application of makeup and when she had finished, stepped back to assess my appearance. She fell to one knee and bowed her head for three heartbeats, before speaking, “My Lady. You look perfect and do the memory of the Ladys Maclay, your mother and grandmother, proud.”

Now it was my turn to feel tears wet my eyes and I thanked her even as she stood to dab at my eyes with a cloth to keep me from ruining my makeup. I embraced Doris lightly to keep from wrinkling my gown and kissed her forehead, thanking her for her service to our Estate and for helping me to grow into my Ladyship which she task claimed as an honor.

Then she took my hands and turned me to face the other side of my room. Dani stood by D’elam and I could see that their eyes also shined wetly. If the sight of my girl in her traveling clothes had taken my breath away years earlier, this took my breath and heartbeat away and made me feel that my legs would collapse under me at any moment. Her gown mirrored mine in style and decoration although where mine had jewels on the bodice, hers had fine embroidery which I knew had taken months to complete. Even Anne could not have produced such work as this. The opening on the right hip elegantly displayed her entire mark. Her hair, D’elam had left loose with tight wet-looking ringlets that framed her face. And her makeup was so well blended that it was not possible to tell that she was wearing any except to note that her appearance was even more stunning than usual. I had to breathe deeply and count to five in my head to keep from closing the distance between us and kissing her, no doubt smudging both our lip coloring and delaying our perfectly timed entrance. Her eyes were wide as she stared at my face and then took in the sight of my gown and headpiece. I thought I saw the slightest hint of a grin before she fell to her knees and bowed before me.

Now I did cross the floor extending my hand to pull her toward me. “You look so beautiful, my girl.” I lightly brushed my fingertips through her hair being careful to not muss her makeup.

For perhaps the first time ever, I heard Dani’s voice falter as she had to swallow three times. “My Lady…” She took my right hand and turned it over, kissing the palm reverently in a way that made most coherent thought leave my head.

I was startled from my trance by D’rs’s voice. “Lady Maclay. Do you need any further assistance?”

“No, thank you.” I nodded to both D’ris and D’elam.

They bowed before turning to leave my chambers. “We must join the Estate. D’rek will fetch you just before sunset.”

They left in that silent way of closing doors that servants are taught but that I have never mastered. I continued staring at Dani for a moment before pulling away from her hands to reach my bedside table. I returned with a square velvet box and searched for the right words. “I know that it is not traditional to give a present to one’s own servant but you are so much more than my servant. I love you with each and every beat of my heart. Will you accept and wear this necklace tonight, my love?” I popped open the box and then blinked as the emeralds and diamonds seemed to shimmer and cast beams of light around the room.

My girl opened and closed her mouth a few times as she stared at the piece before lifting her eyes to mine again. I felt that my entire being, my heart and soul, were open to her and that she could give me The Creator’s very joy or darken my life forever with but one word. Perhaps she saw the depth of emotion in my face for she did not delay any longer. “Tara. My Lady. I would be honored to wear this jewelry and will think of your love only when I do so.” She bowed slightly as my heart soared.

She turned around and I fastened the necklace around her neck, selfishly allowing my fingertips to brush her collarbones and the sides of her neck as I pretended to fumble with the clasp. I placed the most gently kiss on the side of her neck and then ensured that I had not left a mark before turning her to face me once again. The emeralds, true to my hope, sparkled and highlighted her eyes while the diamonds pulled all attention to this vision. She reached up and ran her fingertip over the stones at the front of the piece and was about to speak when we heard a knock at the door. “Excuse me, My Lady.”

D’rek bowed and announced that it was time for us to join my father. He extended his elbow to me and led us from my rooms. In the main dining room we reached the portraits of my ancestors. I asked their leave for a few minutes and left Dani and Derek to stand in front, first of my grandmother and then my mother’s portraits. I offered my prayers and supplication that I would do their memories proud as I served our Estate as the 28th Lady Maclay. I sensed Dani silently moving toward me to tell me that we had to go and concluded my silent devotion. I nodded to both of them and retook D’rek’s arm and we continued down the hall. The house was empty as I had known it would be.

All of the guests, both noble and servant as well as very few free men and women, would be gathered in the courtyard. After a few minutes walk through the corridors, we arrived at the door to my Father’s rooms. D’rek led us in and we found my father near the balcony. We exchanged formal greetings and my father smiled as broadly as I had ever seen. He swore that if it were not for our attire and presentation, he would embrace us both quite exuberantly. He, of course, was presented as regally as were we including his sword at his side and the headpiece which matched my own. Rather than questioning my choice he commented that Dani’s necklace was a wonderful addition to her presentation and that it complimented the light in her eyes. He glanced out the doors to the heavens and told us that my mother would be proud of us. I forced my eyes to resist tearing up for fear of marring my appearance and nodded my thank you.

I could see that the twilight had passed and it was now full dark outside his balcony. He smiled once again and stepped onto the balcony, D’rek a half-step behind him. A complete hush fell over the crowd in an almost eerie manner before my father had stopped moving. His voice resounded so that I had no need to amplify it for him. “The Ladys Maclay have been: Lady T’rese Maclay who gave Lady T’nol Maclay who gave Lady A’mel Maclay who gave Lady C’therine Maclay who’s son married Lady D’anna Maclay who gave Lady C’therine Maclay who gave Lady H’pe Maclay who gave Lady S’an Maclay who gave Lady A’ria Maclay who gave Lady C’therine Maclay who gave Lady T’rese Maclay who’s son married Lady E’beth Maclay who gave Lady B’th Maclay who gave Lady T’bitha Maclay who gave Lady F’cis Maclay who gave Lady P’mela Maclay who’s son married Lady R’reta Maclay who’s son married Lady W’nnie Maclay who gave Lady C’therine Maclay who gave Lady D’nli Maclay who gave Lady E’beth Maclay who’s son married Lady S’th Maclay who gave Lady T’solde Maclay who gave Lady C’therine Maclay who gave Lady R’ael Maclay who gave Lady T’my Maclay who’s son married Lady T’rese Maclay who gave Lady T’ra Maclay who took as her mark-bound servant D’ni.”

My cue was obvious and I stepped onto the balcony, my hand extended in front of me, on the voicing of my name, Dani a half-step behind me. I knew the assemblage bowed to me for the full three seconds but I did not look at them and in this moment my girl bowed to no one. I felt exhilarated by this knowledge.

Wordlessly, I extended my powers to instantly extinguish every lantern both within and without the house. A few attendees gasped but most waited patiently for my display. As I concentrated on my mark, a few wisps of light began to extend and float from my hand out over the crowd. In repeated tests, Tadre and I had decided that a slow movement demonstrated the highest level of precision and elegance and would give the audience time to admire the display. Moving like smoke, the light wound and gathered in a globe in front of the balcony before beginning to coalesce into an exact replica of my mark. When the image was formed, I began to brighten the light so that it glittered and shone, illuminating the crowd who craned their heads to take in my artistry. I held the complete image for three heartbeats and then an additional three to honor Dani’s mark. Slowly the glittering lights could be seen to flap their tiny wings and lightening bugs dispersed to circle the courtyard. The first flew to the lanterns in the courtyard and reaching them, lit the lanterns. Next were the lanterns at the bottom of the tall stairs to the formal entry. Slowly I lit each escalating progression of lanterns in turn so that the stairs were completely illuminated. The crowd gasped as my father, D’rek, myself, and D’ni were instantly transported from his upper balcony to the top of the stairs as the seven lights on that platform lit. Nearly simultaneously I lit every lantern in our Estate including those so abundant in the cavernous ballroom at our backs so that the glow burst from behind and around us.

For a heartbeat the crowd was silent and then the air filled with the sounds of a dignified applause. I had been warned by T’dre that nobles were not given to vulgar displays of appreciation and that I should be very proud indeed by any acknowledgement of my magical display. This, indeed, was high enough praise for me and I could feel my heart beating with the strain of the magic. It felt as if Dani’s was beating right with mine, two hearts in one chest and I did not have to turn and look at her to know that she felt proud of my display.

Between her Ladyship, her magic, and her relation to us, T’solde earned the first position in the long procession through our receiving line. My father and she extended marks and then she moved to me as we both displayed our marks. I could see that she had tears in her eyes and she leaned forward to kiss my cheek. “Lady T’ra. You honor your mother and mine.” I gulped and nodded, surprised at the intensity of the lump forming in my throat over her simple words. I could not hear the words or blessing she gave my girl next as I was already showing marks and greeting her husband, Lord Martin. He moved to my right and touched his mark to Dani’s and I found another lump forming, this one in my stomach. It was a symbolic gesture and one of respect for both his position and Dani’s mark but I still found myself almost offended by the familiarity with which he touched her. I only comforted myself with the memory of my father’s assurance that Lord Martin would not be interested in taking marks-rights with Dani.

I could detail and list every greeting, blessing, and marks exchange to come but it would take longer perhaps than my story has so far and I know this is growing long. Suffice it to say then that the procession was extensive and exceedingly formal as befit the import of the occasion. T’solde and her husband were followed by no less than thirteen Lords or Ladies of five marks, each arrayed in great finery and accompanied by a bound servant no less well presented. I swelled in joy with each blessing and greeting and suffered my own unmistakable but well-hidden jealousy as six more Lords touched their marks to my Dani’s own. I may have known this would happen but it engendered no less a visceral repulsion in me for its foreknowledge.

I kept repeating to myself that no Lord could take marks rights with my girl during this celebration. While Dani was now an adult and available for marks-rights, it was beyond tasteless to share marks-rights with a servant during her presentation. Any nobleman taking advantage of his hosts in such a way would find invitations lost in transit, lodgings drafty, marriage proposals denied, and an assortment of other indignities that would surely lower his Estate’s position within the generation. It was, more simply put, something which did not happen.

The final pair in this procession were of an Estate we had never interacted with before—Lefleur. They had traveled long from a Northern land and I smiled to see features so like my own Dani’s. The Lord’s hair was still a bright red although the Lady had brown hair like Faith’s. His eyes could have been her own and her hand identified her as a second-generation magic user while his hand showed that his mother had been a magic user of great power.

Following the five mark nobles came those with four-marks, led by Melanie and Donnie who showed little restraint in gathering both myself and Dani into hugs. D’le and D’elam at their sides beamed with pride before the four of them took their places to Dani’s right in the receiving line. Next T’dre, no less excited for us than my brother and step-mother although she managed to restrain her joy somewhat before greeting Donnie and Melanie and moving into the ballroom. T’dre was followed by T’solde’s oldest son and daughter with their four marks and so on and so forth.

One of the four mark men, a Master Riley Finn, was presented so well for battle that one could have imagined he expected to be greeted with tigers and ruffians just inside the doors. His formality stood him in good steed if he seemed a somewhat more proud than was necessary in such a gathering.

Curiously the final girl in the four-mark group was a young woman of perhaps fifteen summers who already possessed her marks. This in itself was not particularly unusual as you may remember that I intentionally delayed my own mark-taking for years to spare (or delay) Dani’s pain. Her mark identified her Estate as Lefleur and she was shown to be the child of both Lord and Lady, next Lady in that line. I had to read and re-read her hand to verify that what I suspected was true. This girl, in spite of her magical ancestry, was not an active magic user. She carried the magic, much like Anne and Faith, but was not an active user. I might have thought that she had an older sibling who had not survived childhood but if that were the case she would have had only three marks. No. This reading made clear the reason for her parents’ position at the end of the five-mark procession and her position trailing her group. One of her parents had squandered their magic. Either her father had fathered another daughter prior to her birth or the Lord was not in fact her father. Her features were similar to his and I stared for a long moment, aware that she blushed under the scrutiny of my study before she moved on to be received by Dani.

There were not many more four mark men and women than five mark but the processional swelled with numerous three-mark members. The din from the ballroom began to grow as nobility inside visited and mingled as they waited for the ballroom to fill and the feast to begin. One unfortunate consequence of the receiving line was that there were no house servants inside to serve our guests but this was a given for this type of gathering and our attendees purported themselves well. The fact that their own servants could easily bring them ale, wine, and crudités from the tables lining the walls certainly helped.

Marks became less elaborate as did the attire of the noble men and women and their servants as the three mark, two mark, and finally single mark nobility passed. My sisters with their intended servants headed those without noble mark nor bond and they showed no restraint in their embrace of myself and my lovely girl before entering the ballroom. Anne, no doubt, felt grievously denied the opportunity to meet the four mark nobles before this and set about to greet everyone in the room.

Immediately following the yet unmarked nobles was a woman I did not immediately recognize. At her side was another woman, again one I did not know and I studied them for a long second after my father placed two gentle kisses on her cheeks and on that of her companion. She extended her right hand showing only the letter “D”—a freed servant’s mark. My glance went to her hip as she bared it for my inspection.

I knew that I could not maintain my composure as I realized the identity of this woman. D stood for her taken name—Desiderata—taken after being freed in heartbreak the day after my mother died. I slowly touched my mark to hers and stared into her eyes, noting the way her face seemed to be blurring around the edges. I am sure that some in the ballroom were shocked but without conscious thought, I dropped to one knee and kissed her palm. I felt without seeing Dani’s simultaneous movement to her knees and stayed there three heartbeats. We stood as one and I felt Desiderata gather me in her arms. Not until now did I wonder if my show of respect to my mother’s former servant had cost our Estate prestige but my father’s nod was nearly slight but readable.

“Lady Tara, may I present my companion. Phoebe.” I extended my mark toward the woman Desiderata had indicated and noted that she had none.

I grasped Desiderata’s hand as well as Phoebe’s for a long second. “Please honor me with your presence at my table tonight.”

Both women bowed quickly. “As you wish, Lady Maclay,” and then moved along. Directly behind them was Gael who was technically free although he worked for only our Estate and then a mass of our and other Estates’s house servants waiting to get inside the building and fulfill their responsibilities. I don’t mean to imply that they were disrespectful in their urgency but I felt it as well as them and the line moved along rather quickly from there.

Finally, my father took my hand and we entered the ballroom followed by Dani and Derek and then Donnie, Dale, Melanie, and D’elam. Activity slowed and quieted for a moment but resumed immediately. Father and I, Derek and Dani took our places at the head table and other members of my family took their positions at other tables. Other guests could see the name cards on tables and were directed there by their own servants who, no doubt, had spotted their placement upon entering the ballroom. It was no mistake that Anne, Faith, and Donnie all shared tables with at least one if not more potentially appropriate suitors. Our own table boasted my father and myself, T’solde, three other Lords, two other Ladys, Desiderata and Phoebe, as well as the mark-bound servants of those at the table.

Our house servants were in fine form as they began to wheel large carts bearing the soup course to all 12 tables simultaneously. In no more than three minutes, the entire room had their first course in front of them. Before I lifted my fork, I stood and addressed the room, giving glory to Faith for her successful hunt. If any were surprised at an unmarked woman taking this glory, they did not show it and I saw a few heads nod in her direction. I delayed no further before lifting my fork to take the first sip of soup and the inactivity was broken.

I’ll not bore you with a course-by-course detailing of the meal. Suffice it to say that the dishes were elegant and elaborate and delicious and I believe that both the quantity and the quality of all made up for the late dinner. I visited in turn with all at the table but perhaps longest with Desiderata who entranced and entertained us with stories of my mother, both after her maturity and in her childhood. When Melanie circulated past our table she confirmed all the wild tales with a sparkle in her eye. I hardly noticed Dani giving subtle clues to the kitchen staff with each course change.

When the meal was completed, the tables were quickly removed from the ballroom. The bards providing dinner entertainment (and mostly being drowned out by the din of so many in one room) were replaced with a grand band who assumed the dais as the tables were cleared. Per tradition, my father extended his hand and we danced the first tune by ourselves. Next, my father danced with Dani as I danced with Lord Martin. I found myself paying dual attention to my movements with my uncle and my father’s hand on Dani’s hip. Again that nagging and violent jealousy coursed through my veins at the sight of his mark covering hers. At the change of songs the dance floor filled and although the procession of highly marked noblemen continued their attentions to myself and my girl, I could hardly concentrate on their conversation.

I knew that we were nearing the end of the limited number of five-mark nobles but still I found myself hardly able to concentrate on my dancing partner. “Lady Maclay?”

I looked back into those green eyes. “Oh. I am so sorry, Lord Lefleur.”

“That is quite alright. I was complimenting the dinner.” He paused and looked more closely at me. “I particularly liked the sauce on the duck. I … We used to have something similar but … I haven’t tasted the like in many years. Do you have one servant who specializes in sauces?”

It is not in my nature to prevaricate but his question struck me as being somehow dangerous. I felt that he was asking something different from what his words said. “Our kitchen staff are all capable of creating the most delectable concoctions. Perhaps you will try one of the deserts.” I waved my hand vaguely at the tables lining the walls and offering every style of chocolate and sugars one could imagine.

I watched him take his turn dancing with my girl as I began dancing with Master Finn, seeing Anne looking possessively angry out of the corner of my eye and breathed a sigh of relief at the end of Five-mark Lords to dance with Dani. While the rest of my night was taken up with a specific procession of Lords and high-marked nobles as was Dani’s it seemed that everyone else was having a very grand time dancing the evening and eventually night away. Anne and Faith as well as their girls twirled around the room barely taking breaks for drinks of ale and wine. Donnie, it appeared could have squandered his birthright with half a dozen young women were he so foolish. In fact, everyone danced and danced from our house servants to my Father and Melanie. Desiderata, I noted danced well but seemed to prefer to sit and visit with Phoebe and a host of others. Many of our guests had known my mother and therefore Desiderata before my mother’s death. I saw her laughing and joking with many of them as if they were exchanging stories of my mother’s youth.

One point in the evening found me taking a drink at the same moment as my girl. I brushed a curl off her face. “Please let D’Shel know that her sauces have brought us praise tonight.”

“Of course, My Lady.” Dani took a sip of her drink.

“I see our next partners waiting for us.” Before Dani could answer I bent my head to whisper in her ear. “I would so very rather dancing with you.”

Dani smiled as she brushed her fingertips over the necklace. “As would I, My Lady.” We turned and rejoined the festivities.

The celebration continued into the darkest hours of the night. The crowd dwindled steadily after a few hours as attendees became tired or otherwise interested in leaving the ballroom. When Dani and I departed, only Anne and Delia remained of my family. I stopped to pointedly tell my sister and Master Finn goodnight and noted the way he jumped to attention. It was gone 1:30 as Dani and I left the ballroom and regained my rooms, my body still humming with excitement.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

Dibs It is here and all our pain comes in the color Red (hair). I fear this is her family, her free family come to clam her. All hell is going to brake loose again I am left in your capable hands

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Dia the spelunker
Never underestimate the powerful love of a good woman
If you were a cave what kind of cave would you be

Aha! The plot doth thicken! Redheaded party guests, squandered magic... Doth thicken, indeed!

Again, another great update. I especially love the breakdown of Tara's lineage. It disturbs me a little that I find myself thinking of Inga in The Producers. Her last name has 15 syllables. Sorry, but I had to go there.

I eagerly await Part II... Honors, m'lady.

Diane

I loved the ornateness of the event and the sense of rigid tradition -- both lovely and restrained.

I liked the way Tara balked at tradition in this update.

She liked that Dani bowed to no one... she was considering her questions and her interactions in a way that purposefully gave Dani autonomy. Yes. Color me very impressed. I think that Tara might be starting to get it!

Hmmm. The ugly head of jealousy and the the Lefleurs. They kinda creep me out and unnerve and tickle my curuiosity all at the same time. There's the mysterious first born daughter without magic, the red hair... and if I am not mistaken, something about that sauce...

I am very curious!

Theories are begining to churn around in my noggin. Hmmmm. Will things be unveiled/reveiled? Oooh! Intrigue!

I love it!

db

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I am, you know.

Eeeeek the light at the end of this chapter is a big ol’honkin train! I got chills down my spin but not the good kind…

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Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come and see my shinning palace built upon the sand!
-'Second Fig' by Millay