Chris,
You've really outdone yourself this time.
That has to be the highest concentration of double entendres, innuendo,and sight gags, not bad since this is print, per sentence since Mel Brooks wrote "Blazing Saddles."
The cover illustration was beautiful and I really could have used that as a teenager when reading the original "Crisis..." mini-series.
Crisis of Infinite Lesbians would have been a series I really could have learned from, the series spoken of in hushed and reverent tones but 'll take it as an adult.
Your story had the thematic structure of the comic book narrative as well with the set-up, the villains getting the upper hand, the introduction of the seemingly impossible odds, the Wonder Lesbians faced with a fate worse than death when all other avenues had been explored, then a solution presents itself at the 11:59 moment and all is put right with the world once again and the genuine article Wonder Lesbians resume their calisthenics and even Overt Sexuality Gal and Princess Repression seek a little solace and recuperative goodness from each other.
Bravo and Bizarro Wonder Lesbians-genius, sheer underalterated genius.