A Moment of Truth

[love_2003]

I finally got my report card.
I got 'dropped' from the school.
I have until mid summer to figure out what I am going to do in the fall. Either try to attend another school or get a job.
I don't know what to do.
I feel lost.

[littlewicca]

People just odnt understand each other, we are very diferent, and when you do something they dont understand it,

my true is i know they sometimes dont understand coz i dont explain, but i dont want to explain everything, cant just tehy acept that if i do something is coz i really need to?

Im telling this coz people cant understand me being on the computer to much time, but, i have friends here, and here people dont understand that even if you dont know the person face to face, you can love them, but i do. I trust and i love, im in pain if my friends are in pain

[Willowtree252]

This moment of Truth is for all my dear friends and family out there. Yesterday I lost my brother and yall were there for me. You all sat for hours and sometime traded off to make sure I wasent alone . One of you went out and email writers you knew were long time friends and had them join msn so thay could be there for me and thay did it was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. There are so many of you and I care so much for everyone of you. I am very proud to be a member of this board that allows us to become such good and deep friends.

[summer fairy]

I am nervouse about grading on to my yellow belt, hope I do well.

[Willowtree252]

I want to thank my dear friends for helping me through this time .......... there is the one who stayed up almost two days straight so I would not be alone even though her time zone is 8 hours ahead , then there is another that is so true and kind that she helps carry the pain deep in her heart, the one not many know about because she is so reserved that she stays in the back ground but what a powerful friend she is and she stayed up late many nights this week to just sit with me, then there is the one who is in bad pain but still droped me a line to say if you need me let me know and I will be there for you , last but not least is the one that would get on a plane and be at my side if I asked but I won't she is so dear to me my kindred spirt. I count myself very lucky to have such deep frindships and if needed would return three fold what I have recieved from them. You all honor me to have you all I cherish your friendship and I love you all.



Juju, aggie, Kat, JB, and Kindred ..................... Thank you my true friends for just being you.

[writerfreak]

Before I get to my moment of truth, I would like to say you are welcome to Dianne, for everything. And yes I would absolutely hop the next flight to get to you if you needed me, anytime.

Now my moment of truth, I miss her. So much that it feels like my heart has been ripped completely out of my chest. Which is also part of what would be her moment of truth were she here. We are both going through utter hell because of *him*. Taking the kids for the summer. I hate that, I hate it so much that he is doing this to her because of me. Putting her through hell because she doesn't love him and can't pretend to be straight for him anymore. She chose me. He even wants to take her children when its time for school again, and its killing her, and in turn killing me. I hate to see her in pain, and I hate him. I wish I could be there with her. Stupid job issues. I hate them too. I'm in a hating mood right now. Grrr. That's my truth.

writerfreak

[Willowtree252]

I can't do it any more it hurts to damn much and I can't be hurt anymore

[littlewicca]

we love you dia, you can take it, we are with you, your friends.

My moment of true, is just i hate when i wrong about people, why, they show you something and then poof totally changed :(

[summer fairy]

People also piss me off, you know I just won't bother in future, would be happier for everyone. No skin off my nose, just get on with my life, what else can one do?

[Taraiswillow’ssoul]

My moment of truth I have never been one to read between the lines and was hoping that maybe you guys could help me out here. About two and a half years ago I met this girl through work. I fell completely in love with her the first day I met her. We hit it of from the very beginning. I told her that I was gay that night then she told me that she was homophobic. I thought ok that’s it I don’t have a chance in hell to even become friends with her. But we continued to talk all night at work. By the end of the night we exchanged numbers. The next day she called me I was in total shock. We instantly became friends. She found out that I had a crush on her and told people that she thought that it was cute lol. She constantly would tell me that she was straight. We went to a female strip club one night where she would again tell me that she was straight. She proceeded to buy a lap dance and pay for me to watch this dance then had me join in (What the hell). When I would go with her to her boy friends I would be sitting in a chair and she on the couch with him. She would tell me that I was to far away from her and when I would get up she would pull me onto her lap. I would stay at her place we would both sleep in the same bed but we would never touch. We would visit each other at work when one of us had the night off and constantly give each other full attention. A lot of people thought that we were together much to their surprise we weren’t. She would always call me if she wanted something even though her boyfriend was closer to where she was. We would act like little kids all of the time and innocently flirt with each other. Then I decided to move back to my parents house that summer which is two hours away from her. She wanted me to move in with her. I but I couldn’t it would of been to hard on me to move in with her because I loved her so and she made it clear that I would never have her. I thought that we were separating on good terms and that everything would be ok after I promised to visit her every two week. Which didn’t work because once I moved she started to avoid me yeah we talk a little now like once every three months but we never see each other because if we make plans she will avoid me for a month strait. I told her that I was sorry if I had ever hurt her but she told me that I didn’t but that it was awkward at first when I moved. What the hell does that mean. It just hurts so much because I am still in love with her after two and a half years.

[littlewicca]

Is weird how someone/s can change your life totally. every person you meet left something in you, sometimes is a bit, but wow! some others change you a lot, they change totally your thought not bad, just, you learn to much, i learn a lot with you, juju baby, and my big sis didi. Thanks

[JujuDeRoussie]

I don't like how I feel. I don't like being insecure and think that many people are just polite with me when they answer to me. I really think it is though. There are a few people I know they love me, or like me at least... or just enjoy themselves while talking with me.
But then why things are like that?

I am putting myself down I know it... I shouldn't care so much about what people think about me. But when I think well of people, I can't help but want to be someone for them.

And I don't like when I know there are liars in the people I know...

to quote an artist I like: "J'aime pas les mecs.. J'aime pas les filles... J'aime pas les gens..."

[kisstheviolets]

I'm feeling like a really bad quirkyalone at the moment.

i hooked up with a girl when i was on vacation, she was the cousin of one of the brides (both of whom are my best friends) and we spent the whole week together shacked up at my rental. while we both acknowledged that it was just a vacation thing, there's was definitely more to it than just the sex. she took care of me when i was hung over, we went sightseeing, we cuddled and held hands (the last two being things i don't normally ever do casually - too intimate). it was very strange, but very nice.

and now, while i'm not necessarily interested in dating this particular girl (she's cool and all, but about eight years younger than me and with a lot of growing up to do), i am consumed with a strange sort of longing for a relationship inclusive of all of those sorts of things. so i guess i'm just annoyed that just as i'd gotten really comfortable with my singlehood and enjoying my life the way that it was, this has kind of thrown me for a loop. grr.

[gorn]

Eight years younger? Hmm, unless you're 25 or younger, I'd say go for it. Age and maturity are far too overrated.

[dlline]

Age and maturity can be mutually exclusive. Just look at me.

Happiness is far to fleeting to worry about details like age. I say go for it.

[kisstheviolets]

gorn and diane: thanks guys for the pep talks.

i don't know that i really want to pursue anything serious with this particular girl regardless of the age difference (though i do plan on seeing her again this summer). we're at very different places in life (i'm 29 and about to move back to MA, she's still in undergrad and dating boys in VA for godssake lol) and i don't know that she'd really be my type for a long-term relationship anyway. i can only handle so much "damn the patriarchy" talk haha.

i think what threw me for a loop was that i'm normally so averse to anything that seems semi-couply or relationship-like and yet i was all about it this past week. and it made me realize that i do want that sort of relationship, as much as i may say i don't. that's hard to admit, i guess.

[gorn]

Don't let it worry you - it happens to the best of us ...

[Candleshoe]

Maybe you can know that you would be happy as you are, but stay open to something else too, ktv? I dunno...life throws us curveballs sometimes. The trick is knowing when to stay and catch 'em and when to run like hell.

[kisstheviolets]

oh shoey, how i've missed thee on the board!! and you're right, i should totally just be open and i want to be. it's the getting my legs to stop running automatically that i have to work on, but i do love a challenge.

quick little moment of truth here: i absolutely get butterflies when she calls and says she misses me. i can deal with that.

[littlewicca]

the true is like i dont feel well to say anything. Have a lot to say, but cant.
That is true

[Willowtree252]

I try to be the best friend in the world but sometimes I am not I can't help it I am not perfect. being a true friend is hard we expect way to much and sometimes way to little. sometimes we see things we don't want to and hide from it and others we should see it but we are to wraped up in our self to do anything about it . Sometimes we expect way to much and when we don't get it we are hurt. This is my moment of truth I have the 6 best friend's in the world sometime's they are good , bad, busy, gone, sassy, asses, angry, hurtful, talking to someone else, hurting, sick, or just plan a pain the the ass but you know what they are my friend and I love them dearly RL and all I wouldent trade any of them ever. I know there are some that will read this and think man that is sappy but I know true friendship and it is so good not to be alone in this mean world.

[Emms]

I'm tired of trying to be someone I'm not. I'm tired of not saying the things I know I should. I'm tired of being this "politically correct" version of myself when there are things that need to be said and work that needs to be done. I'm tired of self-censoring. I'm tired of being afraid to start new things. I'm tired of trying to be the person everyone else wants me to be, because I'm never successful at it. From now on I'm just going to be me, and anyone who doesn’t like it can piss off!

wow...that was therapeutic and it felt reeeeaally good.

xoxo
Emms

[Willowtree252]

last night I was sitting I had just gotten off the computer told everyone good night I was alone and all of the sudden I thought I am alone it was really not something I am much and it is ok most of the time but not last night and it was hard. About 10 min in the phone rang yes at 1:00 in the morning it was ringing and the voice at the other end was wonderful she said I need you and I said I need you too so we talked for a long while me and my Kendred spirt best friend.s till the end.

[littlewicca]

I miss her a lot, a lot, my good friend is here, i love her, but i still miss my bebe badly

[summer fairy]

This works out really well, I have limited time on here and I still get to chat to all my friends, how cools that?

[gorn]

I have a bit of a dilemma. Although today is technically a Monday, exhibiting all the standard horrible traits of that cursed day, it's also two days before a holiday. Which means, as soon as the horror of Monday morning starts to wear off, it's going to feel like a Thursday. You know what I mean? I'm tempted - seriously so - to post in the "It's Just Thursday, MKF!" thread to discuss this ...

And here lies my dilemma - I'm a stickler for the Rules. I don't think people should post in "The Person Below Me" thread unless they genuinely fit the criteria. I don't think people who aren't manic depressive should be posting in "The All Purpose Happy Feelings" thread mere minutes before posting in the "Crappy Feelings" thread. Maybe it's the Willow in me, but if a thread is going to have Rules, by golly, people ought to stick to them.

And yet ... that little devil on my shoulder is whispering, "Just think! You COULD post in the It's Just Thursday, MKF! thread - the bestest of best threads on the Board - on a MONDAY!! You may never get another chance like this again!"

Oh, what to do?? I know in my heart what the right answer is, but a part of wants to say to hell with the Rules! A part of me wants to take a walk on the wild say, live dangerously, laugh in the face of danger ...

I'll have to think about this for a while.

[JujuDeRoussie]

I missed my train... almost on purpose... now it makes 37 euros wasted...

What am I gonna do of myself?



I hate myself right now but plan nocthing to change things...

[littlewicca]

I love her with all my heart

[EndlessDestiny]

My OCD's been acting up again. It's been going on for a little while now. I started on meds a few weeks ago but they have yet to start working. I worry about getting sick and dying. It sucks.

[littlewicca]

im a coward