Dimension Dementia (Updated 3/14/07)

[AntigoneUnbound]

All you wanna do is write around, Sally (Write, Sally, Write...)

Well, having successfully escaped the kidnappers who were holding me for ransom that George W. Bush was just never going to pay, I return to catch up on one of my favorite fics. (Joking aside--sorry for the absence!)

As ever, there's just so much I love about your writing. The plot, of course, is fantastic. It's a great premise, and I can't wait to see where it all goes. But the other touches you bring--just so subtle and lovely. For example, I like how everyone here seems to be finding a new and different kind of confidant in this Willow. Buffy and Xander have already talked to her differently than they did the Willow of their universe. (Well, Tara's not talking, at least not yet.) And this Willow herself makes for a fascinating narrator. I mean, she's not the Willow we know: the physics, the computers, the overtly gay stuff. (Though that seems to be shifting a bit!) It gives just a slightly different take on all of these characters and the crazy world in which they live. It lets us see different aspects of them. You just have a nice touch with the human psyche and its expression, Sal. It's great to read. Even the image of Willow waking up for the first time--I had this sense of claustrophobia from the bedding that I suspect might capture her feelings of panic at being surrounded by all of these warm, clearly well-intentioned people who were just too much right then.

Of course, you also have those great touches of humor--nose to the gravestone; a high-strung crossbow...

Thanks for creating such a great story. I can't wait to see what Willow does with those naughty, naughty dreams of hers.

Mary

[Knock yourself out]

I know we aren't supposed to bump up a thread just to plead but...please update, Sally...

[FineyMcFine]

PancakesinBellies

Hi Pancakes! Yes, this does keep getting harder for Tara, which I imagine it would for anyone in her position. On a certain level you can't control the physical reactions your body has to another familiar body, and suppressing it all the time is bound to create cognitive dissonance.

I have a suspicion that the other Willow is probably holding her own in the other universe. Thank you very much!

[hr]

Thianne

Hey Vale, well, you know what they say - dreams are ways of your subconscious dealing with or processing different things. It's very unavoidable, and not unexpected.

It's true that Buffy should be grateful to be alive, but I sympathize with her for two reasons. First, from canon, if she was in heaven then I can't imagine the adjustment back to demony Sunnydale. And second, I think she's feeling very depressed. It's hard to see the forest for the trees when you're depressed.

Thanks for reading!

[hr]

SithLordWiccan

I appreciate your comments, and I'm sorry you were feeling run down. Yeah, there's nothing like the torture of a forbidden, taboo love. And even letting yourself daydream about it can cause some butterfly and "other" feelings.

(Hopefully. I'd really like to see the S6 this fic shows turn out better than the actual S6.)

Me too!

Yeah, Spike isn't going to be a huge character in this fic, no worries. I liked his character on the show but he seems sort of insubstantial to me when writing fan fiction. I don't know why. Maybe it's that, as a vampire, he is not showing up in the mirror of my mind's eye. Thanks for reading!

[hr]

Grayson

Hi Grayson! Yeah, I think that in canon from what I remember around this time everyone seemed to be having trouble relating to everyone else, even Willow and Tara. They were all still together, but they weren't in sync with each other. It was very much like the grind of killing, killing, working at the Double Meat Palace, killing, fighting demons, and killing. And you're totally insightful - Willow doesn't comprehend what it's like for Tara. I think in some ways she can't really - she's never been in a relationship like that and she's very self-centered right now. But in other ways, her distance from all of the Scooby drama and her introversion is allowing her to be a much better friend to her counterpart's friends. Isn't that always the way of it? They say that therapists are often confused messes themselves, but they help other people a lot. Anyway, thanks Grayson!

[hr]

db

Hiya db! Pants! Yeah, late at night when the masks are off, Willow leers at Tara and havoc ensues. I think you are insightful to say that Tara probably didn't have a zero sum response to the look either. It's an interesting thought about AU Willow and canon Willow overlapping somehow in their dreams. I will say that's not what I had intended, but on the other hand I'm sure that canon Willow is dreaming about her Tara in her own world so you never know what forces could be in play here.

Thanks so much for reading and for your constant feedback, Constant Reader!

[hr]

Lonewolf22

Hi Lonewolf22, thanks for your feedback. I think Buffy was surprised by how easy it felt for her to share what had happened with the other Willow. I think their Willow is emotionally unavailable right now, and is somewhat lacking in empathy. Thanks for letting me know what you liked in this update, I really appreciate it. What will Tara do? I don't know, but I hope to be able to share it with you all soon.

[hr]

sadie

Thanks for reading sadie! I can't wait to see what happens either. Hopefully I'll have an update on that soon.

[hr]

mole

Hi Michelle! Ugh, a paper done for class - what class? I guess it's a new semester now so hopefully you got the paper done. Heh. I'm glad you're liking S6 Buffy. I just find it hard to write her exactly as she appeared in canon. But it's also possible that she was more in tune with people in S6 than we got to see. I'm always curious about what happens between the lines. Anyway, I'm glad you like her. I like her too.

No matter what universe, Willow's a nerd through and through. That bowing in the presence of the chosen one reminded me of a scene in a movie where someone does something awesome like killing a bunch of vampires and then when it's over there's this glow, and a sound like angels singing, and everyone wonders if they should kneel, and then a character like Xander says something hilarious to break the tension.

I don't know what the heck they are going to do but I do have an outline and a draft of the next chapter on the burner, so I hope to be able to shed some more light on it soon.

[hr]

DaddyCatALSO

Exactly - they have magic to help them figure it out. On the other hand, canon Willow is stuck in a world where there presumably is no magic, so she is not likely to be able to help herself much. And yes, a new face can help people be honest - sort of like a therapist but of course not. Thank you for reading!

[hr]

Knock yourself out

Hey Kyo, thank you so much for your kind words. The scenes were pretty labor-intensive to write, not because they were complicated but because I wanted to get the tone and the emotion just right. It felt much more deliberate and less creative in some ways, which was an interesting process. Thank you very very very much!

[hr]

Boschi

Cheers Boschi! Thank you! Yeah, that's one of the things I've found myself noticing as I have been rereading some Star Trek fan fiction - the stories that I appreciate most are the ones that are subtle and don't have to hit you over the head with how someone is feeling, or that gives you the character's thoughts every two sentences when it's written in third person. A little goes a long way, although I can understand the fear at not being understood and thus belaboring the point.

I think from time to time I would like to write something that doesn't focus on WT as well. I'm not sure in that event if I would put it in the Buffyverse, unless it was Anya. And I have to admit as much as I LOVE Anya I have primarily used her for comic relief like the show did, and I don't know how it would go she wasn't a tension-relieving jester.

I think you are totally right about having non-main-character driven/narrated episodes - it's a way to keep an ongoing series fresh. For example, I do like the episodes on Scrubs when someone other than JD narrates it even though I like the JD-narrated episodes quite a bit as well.

An epically ideal lesbian couple - now that's a lot to live up to. Thank you so much - and I will be sure to let you know if I ever write a non-WT fic.

[hr]

spells42

Hey Anne, alterna-Willow is getting on - and on and on. I think that AU Willow is definitely showing more empathy. I think canon Willow was pretty self-centered at this point in canon. That's not to say that AU Willow isn't self-centered herself, but just that she's sort of a fresh face for all these people. And having Xander alive probably motivates her to go the extra mile with the others too.

I think the Scoobs are very anxious about their Willow, but since this story is mainly being told through AU Willow's POV, she probably doesn't get the full impact of their concern. That's what I tell myself, anyway.

[hr]

JustSkipIt

Hey Debra, thank YOU for always reading and feedbacking even when those around you (cough me cough) go AWOL for a while. Poor everyone yeah. I love the whole dream/waking up thing because it's always such a surreal experience. I love Charles de Lint's books, as you know, and dreams figure really prominently in his work. One of his characters lives a whole other continuous life when she dreams, which makes me wonder - is she really living there and this world is her dream? If I remembered my dreams I suppose I would know more, but my dreams always seem surreal and disjointed anyway.

Yeah, distasteful that Willow leered at Tara but on the other hand I think she didn't quite realize what she was doing. She was probably still half-asleep and acted without thinking. That's what will get you, acting without thinking - if you have something to hide, that is. And I think Tara's first impulse was just to retreat and shut down, but then she was prompted to get up and go help figure out how to get her Willow back and to tell Buffy about it. I think in canon she and Buffy had a decent friendship going after she and Willow broke up so I thought it was not out of place to lay some foundations here.

This cracked me up just because it seems to me that the dirt moving is already the slightest indication… Ha ha.

Ha! I probably could have written that a little better, like "ready to move at the slightest glimpse of soulless, dead vampire flesh emerging." LOL.

I can’t even say how well you’ve captured that. I feel that very intensely these days and I even have siblings and a father alive. But to me, with my mother and now grandfather (mom’s dad) gone, I still have this feeling that I’m just floating out there. It’s like if you had a copy of my family tree, you could look and it would be all gone on one side and my father would just have this thin string tying me to him…

I can't imagine what that's like. :hug

See, and this is the type of conversation (from either of them) that could have really saved season six from stupidity…

Yeah, and would have paved the way for more gay lovin'!

[hr]

taralicious

Hiya Blayne - I think we all foresaw this attraction, did we not? Heh. Indeed, the best resolution would be to switch them back right away. I'm not sure if there would be any good end to this story otherwise.

Hm, I didn't mean to imply that Willow had climaxed in her dream - just that she had had an erotic dream and had been aroused by it. I should clearly watch the words I use! In any event, I find it hard to imagine Tara bringing herself off by this or being titillated - I think she's mostly just angstfully tortured. Anyhoo, thanks for reading!

[hr]

watty

Dude, watty, if you were late then I'm dead. As in, the Late SallyMcFine. That is to say, really really late with replying to feedback. No overthinking - I think by the end it will be revealed to be a pretty simple plot. But anyway, yeah. I am trying to make most of this from Willow's POV even though there are a couple of scenes where I deemed it necessary to write some stuff where she's not there or else we wouldn't get it. I guess there are plenty of books that keep mysteries going on and on but the nature of episodic fanfic is such that I fear it would be frustrating and confusing for readers.

I think a Willow with a fresh perspective helps Buffy. Actually, I think anything could have helped Buffy then - a friend who would just be a friend without having all these expectations and pressures put on her. But it's hard for other people to do that in canon since she has an obligation - and they're all wrapped up in their own B.S. also.

Thanks, wattydearpants.

[hr]

AntigoneUnbound

Mary, Mary, why ya buggin'?

Dude, do not apologize for any absences - I live in my own glass house here.

I'm glad you like it that people are finding a new confidant in Willow. I think once she got over her freak-out, she's a pretty ideal sounding board for most of them. Anyone would be, but I also think that gang wouldn't talk to just anyone since there's so much about what they do that is uber-secret and all. But Willow being a doppelganger, well, it just sort of gives them permission to get everything off their chests.

You are such an astute reader, Mary. I have to say that when I wrote Willow waking up and being smothered by Buffy's duvet, I had just been thinking that she wakes up panicked and feeling suffocated, but I hadn't quite made the connection that she was being emotionally smothered. But of course, a cigar is not just a cigar. (Ask Monica Lewinsky!) You are a delightful reader.

And thank you SO much for humoring (ha!) me by bringing up the puns. Tee hee hee! I know it's Mary Sue but I can't help it, inserting a pun when I see one. Ah, to have self-control...

Thanks Mary!

[JustSkipIt]

In my little dream world (let's call it Debraificville) this post indicates a general return to the KB and a specific return to this fic. In Debraificville, I'm doing a happy dance.

[mole]

Can anyone visit Debraificville? Sounds lika a lovely place. I've had all my shots and my passport is up-to-date:)

Here's hoping for more DD soon. I (and many others, no doubt) have missed your writing, Sally.

Michelle

[Knock yourself out]

In my little dream world (let's call it Debraificville) this post indicates a general return to the KB and a specific return to this fic. In Debraificville, I'm doing a happy dance.

Can we all visit this place? or in other words, what she said...

[FineyMcFine]

[center][/center]
Title: Dimension Dementia
Part: 12
Author: SallyMcFine
Feedback: I love feedback. Bring it on!
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All disclaimers apply
Thanks: To my beta, Mrs. McFine, for her editing and storyline skills that are out of this world.
Setting: AU/canon crossover
Summary: What happens when a shy, introverted girl is torn away from her world and deposited into a dimension full of vampires, demons, and...a girlfriend?
[hr]

Part 12 - Buzzing

"Okay, now hold your hands out, palms up."

Willow shifted her position so she was resting some of her weight on her heels instead of all on her knees. Kneeling on the floor felt awkward, but Tara had told her that the discomfort would help her focus. She turned her palms up and watched and Tara sprinkled a touch of sand and herbs into her palms.

"This is a simple levitation spell," Tara said. "I thought we'd start with a feather because it's light and easy to move. Later we can try some of the heavier things."

Willow nodded. "So I just try to pick it up with my mind?"

"Not exactly." Tara's brow furrowed. "It's more like...you form a pillow with your mind under the feather and move the pillow. At least, that's the easiest way to do it when you're learning."

"And what's this stuff for?" she asked, indicating the sand and herbs.

"The herbs are to help you focus - the foxglove stimulates your connection to the earth, and the yarrow helps it work - like a catalyst. The chamomile is to help you relax. And the sand acts like a lens to concentrate the energy you're sending out. You don't need all of this to do magic, but it helps for a beginner."

Willow looked dubious but didn't object.

"Now close your eyes and visualize the feather."

She obeyed, and Tara continued to instruct her in a low voice.

"Now think about the energy in your body collecting, and push your thoughts out from your belly toward the feather."

Willow opened her eyes. "My thoughts are streaming out of my belly? Why not my head?"

Tara sighed. "It's not your real thoughts from your head. It just makes it easier for some people to think of it that way. What it really is, it's magical energy that you're pulling mostly from the earth, concentrating in your crown chakra, and then pushing out through your solar plexus chakra."

Willow blinked. "Okay."

"Here, try again. Close your eyes."

Willow closed her eyes and tried to reorient her thoughts. It was Monday morning, and everyone else had piled out of the house early on their way to work or school with instructions to meet up at the Magic Box for dinner and research. Tara only had one class, and they had found themselves alone in the Summers house after everyone left. About a split second before it became awkward, Tara had cleared her throat and suggested that she try to teach Willow some magic. If Willow was anything like her counterpart, she would have a knack for it, and it might help them pinpoint the other Willow's inter-dimensional location.

It had sounded like as good an idea as any, certainly much better than sitting in silence. But Willow hadn't counted on the physical interaction she would have with Tara. The touches were innocent enough - smearing some oil on her forehead, sprinkling herbs into her hands - but Willow felt each touch like electric fire and tried hard not to show it. At least the confusing instructions about chakras and bellies were serving as a distraction.

She tried to do what Tara said, and imagined a stream of light emerging from her abdomen and gathering under the feather. As her fantasy gained shape, she saw the feather rising up to eye level and beginning a slow rotation in the air. A thought sprang into her mind to have the feather caress Tara's cheek and neck, but quickly crushed that thought. Instead she imagined the feather zooming upward at an angle and circling the light fixture, which was shapely and round just like...

"Willow? You can start now."

Willow's eyes snapped open and she was startled to see the feather still on the ground in front of her. It apparently hadn't moved at all.

"I had started," she said, chagrined. "I thought I was moving it."

Tara's voice was encouraging. "It can be hard to learn how to channel the energy the right way at first," she said. "Here, let me help you."

She took Willow's hands in her own, and Willow had to school herself not to flinch. She felt suddenly flustered, but Tara didn't appear to notice.

"Can you feel the energy from my hands flowing into yours?" Tara asked. "It's pretty easy to redirect it back outside of your body, like how it's easier to hit a tennis ball that's already in motion instead of trying to get it started from a standstill. The hardest part is pulling the energy out of the earth, especially when we're in a house and separated by the floor and foundation and everything."

Willow frowned. "Um, I don't think I feel anything."

Tara gripped her fingers tighter. "You don't feel that? It should feel tingly and in motion, like when you hold your hand under a faucet."

"I feel your hands, but I don't feel any motion," Willow said apologetically. She was feeling tingles, but not the kind Tara probably meant.

Tara looked puzzled. "That's odd," she said. "Most people, even ones who can't perform magic, can sense it." She paused, thinking. "Here," she said, readjusting her grip on Willow's hands. "I'm going to float the feather myself, but I'm going to draw the energy through you."

Willow felt like she had disappointed Tara, although she wasn't quite sure why. "Okay."

Tara closed her eyes briefly and exhaled. She opened her eyes and stared at the feather with detached concentration.

It didn't budge.

Tara narrowed her eyes and stared harder at the feather, which stayed stubbornly put.

"Wow," Tara said, dropping Willow's hands. "Nothing. Not only can you not do magic, I can't even draw it through you. It's like it doesn't even register."

Willow blinked, feeling absurdly disappointed. "Are you sure? Maybe it's a bad feather."

Tara glanced at her, and back at the feather. It shot up from the floor and zoomed over to the mantel, where it gradually settled back down next to a picture of Joyce.

"I guess not." Willow brushed the herbs and sand from her hands into the paper bag they had come from and folded her arms across her chest. "Well, this was a waste of time."

Tara climbed to her feet. A strange mixture of disappointment and relief flitted across her face, so quickly that Willow wasn't sure if she had seen it at all.

"Not a total waste of time," she said. "We learned that you aren't attuned at all to magic, which might mean that there just isn't much in your world."

"How does that help us?" Willow asked, getting up as well.

"Well," Tara said with a thoughtful expression, "Willow's a really powerful witch. More powerful than me, and almost everyone we know, and probably a lot more people than that. In fact, I would have expected her to have figured out a way to get back herself by now - she's always experimenting with magic." A faint touch of disapproval tinged her tone, although Willow thought that perhaps Tara wasn't aware of it.

"So if your world doesn't have a lot of magical energy in it, then it might explain some things," Tara continued. "Maybe she isn't back here yet because she doesn't have much to work with."

"But if that's true, then how did I get here in the first place?" Willow asked. "Magic must have been involved."

Tara nodded. "Well, I don't know exactly. Maybe there were special circumstances that helped. Like, all kinds of forces aligned at the same time. A one in a million kind of situation."

"So all we have to do is figure out what the factors were, re-create them, and see if it works?" Willow asked.

"Yes. Figuring out what they all were will be the hard part - but this is the kind of thing that Giles is really good at. At least it gives us something to go on."

Willow nodded. Truth be told, she thought it sounded much more difficult than Tara was making it sound, but she wasn't about to cast any doubt on the theory. Tara was showing more excitement and life than she had in the whole time Willow had known her, excepting the very first time they met. Willow decided it suited her.

Tara gathered up the remnants of their magical experiment and started to climb the stairs to return them to her room. As she glanced at the clock, a speculative expression crossed her face.

"Hey Willow," she called from the stairs. "I have some time before my class starts. Do you want to try a mocha?"

[center][/center]

Willow's head was buzzing and her thoughts were racing. She had never before felt such clarity of mind and voice - as if her mind was a stewpot previously set to simmer, but was now at a rolling boil. Words spilled out of her mouth like rice from a bag.

"Anyway it just seems to me that from what everyone says it was chaos here for months. Buffy was dead - dead! People just don't die and come back from the dead. I can't even believe it. But when she was dead you all were trying to keep it together and keep the vampires from taking over the town, and I'm not surprised that everyone has drifted apart."

As Willow paused for another sip of her mocha Tara started to speak, but she didn't get to say anything as the redhead's motormouth resumed its fifth-gear cruising velocity.

"Don't try to pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about! I can totally tell from talking to Xander and Buffy that things haven't been like they used to be or what any of you consider normal. No one's talking to each other. And Dawn's hardly ever around and when she is, she's upset and teenagery. I'll bet the rest of you don't have any idea what's going on with her, or each other. Not that I'm going to betray anyone's confidence, so don't ask."

Tara blinked as the monologue stopped. "You seem to have picked up on a lot since you've been here."

Willow nodded vigorously. "You'd be surprised what people tell you when you're a quiet person, and when you just sit back and observe. It's like all people want is someone who's a good listener and then the floodgates just open. What are floodgates, anyway? You never see them around town. Is a floodgate like a dam? But yeah - I think everyone has been talking to me because I'm pretty quiet."

Tara smiled wryly. "I can see that."

"I don't know why I've never tried coffee before. It's really good. I always thought it was bad for you. Hey, I know that guy! How do I know that guy?"

Tara turned in her seat to see where Willow was pointing, but all she saw was the back of a head as the object of Willow's interest left the Espresso Pump.

"I saw him before when I was here with Xander and it drove me crazy then. I feel like I know him but I just can't place him. I hate it when that happens. It happens sometimes when I'm writing a paper and can't think of the right word to use."

"Do you write a lot of papers?" Tara asked.

"Yes, I'm an English major and it's practically all reading and writing. I mean, what else are you going to do when your major is English, right? It's not like you can do an experiment in a lab or anything. But people have to write up lab experiments too, because otherwise how will anyone else know what the results were? It's all about communication. I think that's why I like it. What's your Willow's major?"

"Computer science," Tara replied. "But she's taking an English class right now for her humanities requirement and she hates it."

Willow seemed stunned. "She hates it?"

"Well, maybe that's too harsh. It doesn't come easily to her and she's not used to that. She has a paper due this week, actually - I guess she'll have to get an extension when she gets back. I don't think she's even read the book."

"What book?"

"The Prince and the Pauper."

Willow grinned. "I love Mark Twain. He's one of my favorites." She started to take another sip and then frowned as she noticed the mug was empty.

"I'm out of coffee! I should get another one. Do you want anything else?"

"No, thank you. I need to get to class. And Willow? Maybe you should call it a day with the coffee, since it's your first time."

[center][/center]

Willow rolled over and exhaled in frustration as sleep continued to elude her. It had been an eventful night at the Magic Box. Giles had listened to Tara's theory that Willow's world had no magic in it and that was why they hadn't heard from their Willow with cautious optimism and had quickly swept up the group into a search for esoteric texts about magical dead zones. He had handed Willow a book almost as an afterthought, and she had noted with a mix of amusement and annoyance that it was the same one she had given back to him the previous day after she had finished reading it.

All in all, it had made for a boring night, especially compared to the afternoon. She cringed when she remembered how uncontrollably she had chattered at the coffee shop with Tara. It was so unlike her - but strangely, Tara hadn't seemed to mind. After Tara had left and the immediate effects of the caffeine wore off, she was left with a slightly drained, worn-out feeling that had been exacerbated by the evening spent with dusty books. And afterward, Tara had announced that she would accompany Buffy on patrol that night, leaving Willow to be dropped off at home with Dawn.

Dawn had quickly retreated to her room and Willow had done the same, but it seemed that the coffee wasn't done tormenting her, and she had been lying down for the better part of an hour without even feeling drowsy. Finally she could stand it no longer and got out of bed.

An idea had been nagging at her all evening, and with Tara and Buffy not expected home for a few more hours she thought she had enough time to complete it. She padded down the hallway to Tara and Willow's room, hesitating briefly before opening the door. She felt slightly guilty as she crossed the room and unplugged the computer from its power cord, but shook off the feeling by reasoning - she was doing Willow a favor, and in a strange way, since she was Willow's counterpart, this was sort of her computer too. Not really - but it made her feel a little better as she carried the machine back into her room.

The computer was on, and it beeped as she pushed a couple of buttons. Willow sighed in frustration as a dialog box opened. Of course a computer science major would password-protect her computer. She read the instructions, which said Please swipe your finger or enter your password. Swipe your finger? She looked at the keyboard and noticed a rectangular pad nestled in the corner. Tentatively she moved her right index finger over the pad, and the computer beeped again. A new dialog box came up saying Hello, Willow! The screen then resolved itself to a normal desktop.

"We might not have the same magical abilities, but at least we have the same fingerprints," she said, double-clicking on a document on the desktop that was titled "TP&P." She smiled when the document came up, totally blank except for two lines: The Prince and the Pauper, by Willow Rosenberg. With a contented sigh, she settled back against the headboard as she began to type.

[JustSkipIt]

Dibs for me and also Huh?

ETA: Ok. I'm back a day later. First off, I'm doing a happy and surprised dance to see an update here. I still just don't know where this is going or how it will end. I liked this update very much. It's interesting that this Willow not only isn't magical but actually kind of squashes magic. That's some serious non-magic--like those people who suck the humor out of a room when they enter.

The coffee "date" was absolutely hysterical. I love the idea of what happens if you give caffiene to a Willow who has never had any. And she became a total truth-speaker--telling them all the idiot things they were doing. Ha ha. I totally got that she would write the paper for the other Willow. I'd have to go back and read but is it for the Prince and the Pauper? Another trading places scenario if I remember.

Finally, I have to wonder what's going on with Tara emotionally. We don't really see much of her emotion here but I would have to think that she's still in a very strange place. Surely she can see how this Willow is becomming more and more attracted to her and at the same time, any contact with this Willow must seem a little like she's cheating on her Willow. You know? It's a strange concept.

Anyway, great update and I'm really really really happy to see it. Deb

[SithLordWiccan]

Second dibs.

ETA: Nice little chapter you've got here, Sally. Really loved all the interaction between Willow and Tara, especially the first part (and, of course, I got a whole "Star Wars" feel to it all. Of course, that's where my mind went to, and may or may not be what you wanted to show.)

Loved how you insinuated that it may be C(anon) Willow whose dabbling in magic resulted in the switch between her and A(lternate) Willow. I get the feeling that may be the reason. (Though since it's been a while, I can't remember whether or not that theory has already been postulated and knocked out. If it has, it's a good misdirect.)

I kinda like the idea of A Willow finishing C Willow's book report. It makes the idea that these two Willow's, while different, compliment one another rather well.

The small scene regarding Dawn does have me worried, though. I have to admit that, while I grew to love her in Buffy (and am as big a Michelle Trachtenberg fan outside her "Buffy" work as anyone could be), given how she is in at this point in the whole canon, I don't see her being all that helpful. Hopefully I'm wrong, because the last thing this story needs is to have Dawn be all "Teenage-Angst-'GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!!!!!1'" and make a bad situation worse.

Good work, Sally! Glad to see you back.

[tazraven]

Third dibs for me then, lol. I'm confused, which doesn't happen often. I'm confused about where you're going with this, and I'm wondering where the heck the other Willow is. Is she in the Sunnydale that this Willow left from? Darn dimension hopping. Makes things confuzzling. (Yes, it's a word in my world). Anyways, good chapter. Interested to know what's gonna happen

~Sara

[Lonewolf22]

SallyMcFine: Great update, I really liked seeing Willow squirm a little when she was trying to do the spell with Tara. It was very funny seeing Willow all hyped up on mochas, and I thought that she babbled before. How does the other Willow's world not have magic? I can't wait to read more.

Lonewolf22

[Grayson]

Nice parallel with the use of The Prince and the Pauper - doubles, mistaken identities, etc.

I like seeing Willow's emerging feelings for Tara - they feel natural, believable. I also appreciate seeing Tara's emotions through Willow's eyes. I don't know how much Tara is picking up on this Willow's attention to her, but I wonder if she's been getting this level of awareness from her Willow. Toss in the fact that this Willow is in zero danger of overusing magic, and she might start to be pretty appealing.

I hope the next update will be soon!

[db]

[center]
Sally pants!

*squeeeee*

An update!!!!!

*yay yay yay yay yay!!!*[/center]

So. Feedback. Tara makes Willow all tingly... "but of course" she says with a twist of her (imaginary) twirly twirly mustachio! Heh heh heh.

I have suspected that there was a lack of magic in alterna-willow's world for a while now... but, I dunno, I guess I think it has to be a little more complicated than that. I don't know what, I haven't got any real suspicions except that they share so much (including, apparently, fingerprints and an attraction to Tara)... I guess I am beginning to think that they are somehow interconnected in some way. I know, I know... I'll find out in due time.

I think their interaction in this chapter was both sweet and telling -- it is the first time we've really seen them together. Of course there is an innate chemistry. I can't imagine that Tara wouldn't feel it too to some degree (at least the non-magic tingles). I bet she is harboring some serious guilt over it if she is. Poor Tara.

It was also sweet and interesting for me to see how Tara was with Willow and the Mocha and Willow's babble-tude. Plus -- hmmm. It was interesting to see how much coffee seemed to effect alterna-Willow -- it seemed to invoke many of the character idiosyncrasies we associate with Willow...

Which brings me to the paper. It sweet and completely "Willow" for alterna-Willow to write Willow's paper for her. It made me grin in that it was *so* "Willow" to use her brain to help; to try and help in the only way she could (by writing Willow's paper)... and to overstep her bounds just a bit. I hope Tara isn't upset with her for going in her room and accessing Willow's computer without permission -- I don't think she will be, but you know, it is a bit invasive to go into Tara's room and take her girlfriend’s computer without asking. I wonder why she didn't ask? Huh. Seems willow like to me -- to get a brilliant brainstorm and barrel ahead without really thinking about consequences.

I am so glad to see this story back!

Great update Sally!

Yay for Dimension Dementia!! I can't wait to see what happens next!

db

[taralicious]

Sally,
Intriguing how the divergences between the two Willows and their respective worlds continue to manifest themselves in small but significant ways.
Willow from Earth-Prime i.e, the world where the supernatural is fictional, not only is devoid of any magical ability but has never fallen under the spell of the Columbian caffeine pusher, Juan Valdez, either.
She can feel the sparkage recognition factor when Tara takes her hands in her own but as if the saftey catch is on, nothing comes of it, or from it.
Willow gains some measure of perspective as the tide turns in her direction affording the opportunity for her to be of concrete and practical use to her doppleganger with her degree in English.
It's a good thing I'm not writing this story or when Willow opened the home base's Willow's laptop, she would have found Willow/Tara smut on there preferably of the NC-17 variety.
Just as well she found the unwritten "Prince and the Pauper" essay and set about tryng to fill in a small void of the repercussions resulting from the continued absence of this world's Willow from the grind of daily life.

[watty]

Welcome back Sallypants. That was a great update. Does this Willow really have no magic (zip, nada, empty)? Not even latent potential? She hasn't had caffeine before, but look at what it does to her once she has a mocha! I wonder if there is a magic equivalent to mocha, to find / unlock her magic potential the way it unlocked her babblefest tendencies.

If Other!Willow is in a world without magic, then she'll probably have to sit tight till she's rescued. Or does she want to be rescued? Like Willow-now says, the situation in this dimension isn't peachy with all the tension and the no-speaking going on. I know it's far-fetched but I won't be surprised if Other!Willow did some sort of spell that took her out of this dimension to one that is in her mind more pleasing. And then in good ol' Willow tradition, something goes wrong. I dunno, I'm just speculating here. It just seems that Willow-now and Tara are generating a huge amount of mutual attraction that they are unable to act upon, unless they're given the okay by their other dimensional counterparts. Or will dimensions / consciousness merge somehow? Intriguing.
[br]

[tarawhipped]

Hurrah! Sally's back! After I first read this chapter and muddled over it a bit, I had a Eureka! moment (not the vacuuming kind) and somehow knew exactly what was happening, and how, and where this world's Willow was. Then I spent the last hour rereading the entire story and realized my Eureka moment really was the vacuuming kind, in that it sucked. *sigh*

I'm just gonna wait for you to tell us what the frilly heck is going on...though I have a sneaking suspicion it involved

Hey, I know that guy! How do I know that guy?

since back in Part 9 Willow saw:

a college-aged boy with dark hair caught her eye. He looked familiar, but she couldn't place him

and I can't believe it's just some random guy you threw in there twice. Dark hair, huh...well, that narrows it down. Parker, Jonathan, Goth!Riley? Whoever he is, I'm sure it's all his fault.

Unless it's bunnies.

-Cam (who's very glad to see you here again)

p.s. I forgot to mention how absofrickinlutely adorable CaffeineBuzz!Willow is! You rock the images, dude!

ETA: I just have to add that with this post I attained Gay Now status. Sally made me Gay Now!

[sadie]

I don't think I ever replied to this last update, poo me! But thought it was also a good opportunity to bump this up a bit ...Don't shoot me!!

Loved how Willow finishes other-Willow's paper.. that's cute Also interesting about the no-magic I'm so curious about how she got there now!! ;D

Hope there'll be another update sometime soon. Thanksa lot

[masterjendu]

I'm still pretty new to all of this, but I really love this story and hope you will start writing it again.

[db]

I miss this story

[Pinocchio1940]

I miss this story

Me too. I really loved the concept...

[FineyMcFine]

I miss this story

Me too. I really loved the concept...

Hey Pinnochio1940 and everyone else - I'm sorry it's been a few months since I've updated DD. I have part of the next chapter, so I promise to put my nose to the grindstone and finish that chapter and the rest of the story. I think it's about 5-6 more updates. Anyway, I'll make it my goal to finish up DD by the end of 2007!

[Knock yourself out]

Anyway, I'll make it my goal to finish up DD by the end of 2007!

Hooray!

[AntigoneUnbound]

Sally McFine, I've taken a shine
To this wonderful story--so smart; so divine.

I'm sorry I fell behind on it, but li'l Miss Mary done got all caught up, yes she did.

You know, you took an interesting approach to this story. I mean, obviously the theme itself is interesting, but I'm thinking more about how you're handling it; specifically, the matter of the parallel lives. It would have been easy to write each person as identical in the two universes; it would have been easy to write complete psychological antonyms. But your approach brings to mind the notion of random events and how they shape up. Suppose that at any given point in time all possible incarnations of our essence are identical, or dwell in the same space. An event hits that essence, and we begin to splinter outward, like the ripples on a pond. Perhaps we were side by side when the event hits, but as time passes--as the ripples arc outward--the lives look increasingly dissimilar. Does that make any sense? Anyway, these characters resemble each other...sort of. And that makes for all sorts of intriguing possibilities. It also prevents the reader from assuming she knows what's going to happen. Perhaps there will be a spark of familiarity; perhaps not. And this was a long-winded way of saying that I'm fascinated by what these people are doing and saying.

The other theme that keeps wending its way through my reading is the issue of loss. Each of these people, in each universe, has lost so much. It has shaped them; it has nudged them down certain paths. Death seems to have been the event that hit their essences, I guess.

A random note: You know, I'd never thought about the aspect of Oz actually having killed someone, but he obviously did. We saw him as the wolf, kill Veruca as the wolf, but Veruca was just as much a human as he was. He didn't seem real broken up about it, did he?

I thought it was a great move to discuss Jesse b/c, as Willow reflects, his death makes all of this real. She knew Jesse, at least one version of Jesse. They'd drifted apart. But in this world, Jesse had been turned to a vampire and Xander--her dearest friend--had killed him. Nice strategy, Sal.

You give some great descriptions in this, but one of my favorites is Willow's first encounter w/ a vampire. I loved her terrified (and random) question as to whether

"mountains formed in the same violent way"

as the vamp's brow was transformed.

You also do a great job taking us through Willow's process as she tries to assimilate all of this. I esp. loved her recent musing that the impossible is becoming less so. We adapt, or die. I wonder sometimes (forgive the philosophical ramble here) if our ability to do so costs us: we get inured to violence; it takes more to shock us. Hmm...

And finally--how much did I love Willow on caffeine?! Oh god, that was great! When she first mentioned she didn't do coffee I felt a strange foreboding fall over me. Now, at last, there is some semblance of rightness in her being! At least as I define rightness!

So...head on back whenever you can. (I'm the last person to smack somebody for a delay.) I'm really enjoying this.

Mary

[LittleBit]

I love this story! It is so weird to read about a Willow who's major is English Literature. lol

Hopefully you will update this story soon!

[FineyMcFine]

JustSkipIt

Hi Debra! Yes, I thought it would be interesting to have this Willow be non-magical. The hypothesis about infinite parallel universes having every variation of every person and their lives, as well as infinite universes where that person doesn’t exist at all, has always fascinated me. On the one hand, how could it be true, but on the other hand, maybe it is.

Anyway, that’s a long way of saying that I thought it would be neat to have a Willow who is the polar opposite of canon Willow in terms of magical ability and aptitude.

Yes, the Price and the Pauper is one of the quintessential trading places scenarios (also Freaky Friday but a little different idea). I love Mark Twain but I haven’t actually read TPATP, though I’m sure one day I will. Anyway, yeah, I just wanted to put a little switcheroo reference in there. Maybe AU Willow can actually write a better paper than she normally would have, given her now-firsthand experience with switching.

I’m totally sure that Tara’s in turmoil. Since I’m trying to tell this story mostly from AU Willow’s perspective, we don’t see a lot of it, because I can’t imagine Tara breaking down around this Willow without seeking comfort, and that would totally seem inappropriate or cheating-like. Maybe she worries a bit that it would just be too easy to let herself melt into this Willow and pretend that it’s her own. Yes, that's what I think it is.

[hr]

SithLordWiccan

Hey Alex, thanks! I'm sure that whatever happened to switch these Willows, there were actions on both sides that caused it, although probably not intentional on either side. And having Willow finish Other Willow's book report almost had to be how it happened, in my mind. We never really saw on the show what classes Willow took besides the obvious, and I'm sure she did fine in them, but I'm sure she enjoyed some less than others, so I imagine that she left some work till the last minute.

As I recall during the canon time when we've come in here, Dawn was kind of whiny and annoyed with her mother being dead and Buffy being sort of mentally MIA and shirking responsibility. So while I liked Dawn a lot too, I'm trying to portray her as I remember her being during canon.

Thanks for reading!

[hr]

tazraven

Is the other Willow in the Sunnydale this Willow left from? Well, who can say - but that's a darn good guess. I think I'm glad to know that right now after 12 chapters that you (and most people) don't seem to have an idea of where this is going, although I hope with a few more chapters it might become more clear. Soon!

[hr]

Lonewolf22

Hi Lonewolf22 - thanks! I'm glad you liked seeing Willow squirm. And who hasn't squirmed, at least internally, in a similar situation, eh? I'll hopefully give you more to read soon. I think it's an interesting question about how Willow's other world doesn't have magic. Here's how I see it - there are many theories about the possibility of parallel universes, and the one that I like postulates an infinite number of parallel universes, each differing from the others in one small way. So Willow can exist in infinite universes (and also there are infinite universes with no Willow at all). So one of those universes is bound to have no magic.

Thanks for reading!

[hr]

Grayson

Thanks Grayson! I knew you would pick up on the Prince and the Pauper. I'm also glad to know that you think Willow's emerging feelings for Tara are believable. I worried that it would seem artificial or forced. I think you are astute to wonder if Tara has been seeing this level of awareness from her Willow - my guess is, probably not. I hadn't really thought about this Willow being appealing since she can't overuse magic, that's so interesting! I think that Willow's magic is one of the things that attracted Tara to her in the first place (like in Hush, remember when she was going on about how Willow was special?), and like anything that's so powerful, in excess it can probably grate on her (that's probably too tame a way to put it).

[hr]

db

Howdy do, db-pants! Yes, lack of magic in AU Willow's world for sure. I'm so glad you thought their interaction was sweet and telling. There has to be some innate chemistry, since this Willow is similar to original Willow in many ways (also it would be a more boring story if there was no attraction). And yes - serious guilt.

Yeah, I think that the caffeine and Willow just sort of brings out her personality, and breaks down some inhibitions. AU Willow, in my mind, has been so tragicified by events in her life that she doesn't have the same spark as this Willow - and she doesn't have a large support system of friends to bolster her like our Willow does. In fact, Buffy, who is so strong in regular Sunnydale, is a real neurotic insecure codependent in AU Willow's world, due to her life's events. So I think that the combination of getting a little friend action (not THAT kind of action) and having some coffee is bringing out something in this Willow which has hitherto been dormant.

You're so perceptive to put into words that it's very Willow for Willow to write the paper - helping but also overstepping her bounds just a bit. It is very like her to just barrel ahead with something. I think you're right, that's a large part of why she didn't ask permission - but I think she also wanted to do something nice for her counterpart, and asking might have ruined the "surprise" somehow. If she thought about it that much. Probably she just wanted to feel useful and help, like you said.

Thanks db! I hope I will have more soon!

[hr]

taralicious

Howdy doody, Blayne! Yes, a non-caffeinated Willow seems almost harder for kittens to fathom than anything else. And yes - I think the safety catch is on in a big way, mostly on Tara's part.

Lordy, I didn't even think of having anything like WT smut on Willow's computer. Blayne, the places your mind goes, honestly. I think we can all agree (or some of us, anyway) that the Prince and the Pauper essay is a more...appropriate scene to have happen here. At this point. Or maybe any point. Heh.

Thanks for reading!

[hr]

watty

watty - zip! She's a Muggle, in Harry Potter terms. Not even latent magic. Her dimension just doesn't have that (well, not much - or else she wouldn't have been plucked from it by magic - but I digress). But it seems that caffeine is magic for this Willow, anyway. And isn't caffeine magic anyway? I venture to say yes. This from a gal who is down to a half-cup of coffee a day and MISSES it.

Well, I can't say for sure about Other Willow, but I venture to guess that she probably wants to be rescued, or to return to her original dimension. Being somewhere else and escaping all the stress and tension probably has some novelty to it, but ultimately I'm sure she wants to be back with her friends and her main squeeze, Tara.

I know it's far-fetched but I won't be surprised if Other!Willow did some sort of spell that took her out of this dimension to one that is in her mind more pleasing. And then in good ol' Willow tradition, something goes wrong. I dunno, I'm just speculating here.

Your theory is intriguing! I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

[hr]

tarawhipped

Hi Cam, Eureka! We have a Dirt Devil, ourselves, in this household. I want to know what your Eureka moment was, though. Maybe you were right? We'll get to the frilly heck soon enough. And that guy! How do I know that guy! He has a part to play too, we'll see that soon enough. You're clever to catch the reference to the guy in the two separate chapters! Yes, it's the same guy. Goth!Riley, that made me laugh. Heh!

Of course, I am VERY happy to have made you GayNow. How many women can claim that?

[hr]

sadie

sadie, thanks for the reply! I am glad you liked Willow finishing her counterpart's paper. She might as well earn her keep, right? Heh. Update soon - thanks!

[hr]

masterjendu

Thank you very much! I am definitely going to keep writing it and finish the story in 2007.

[hr]

Pinocchio1940

Thanks for keeping the torch, as it were, burning! I appreciate it. Sorry for my hiatus - an update soon!

[hr]

Knock yourself out

Hooray!

[hr]

AntigoneUnbound

Mary Mary, never contrary
Your lovely feedback is magic like it's from a fairy

Poetry is not my forte! Doggerel, maybe.

I love what you have had to say here. Life is so complex and it's rarely as neat as anything we read in books or stories where things get wrapped up with a neat little bow. And so I've tried to make these Willows complex too - not identical, not polar opposites, but just enough overlap and similarity and stark difference to make it confusing and a little messy for people who are unfortunate enough to get caught up in the middle of it all.

I think about that a lot, apart from this story - how random events have huge effects. Would I be a cautious driver today if I had not had a fender bender that could have been much more disastrous in high school? Maybe I would have continued to drive recklessly, and would have had a major accident and died, or killed someone. And how would my life have been different if my passenger had been killed the day I actually had the fender bender? Well, it's not something I care to think about - but anyway, you get the point, certainly, since you wrote about the point originally.

Loss - yes, the Buffyverse folks lost a lot. And in AU Willow's way, she lost as much if not more.

Yeah, my lovely and talented beta told me about the whole Veruca actually being killed thing - I missed that episode somehow and have never cared to go back and watch it. He indeed did not seem broken up about it at all, Oz did not.

That's the thing - humans are pretty adaptable! And so all the things that made Willow's jaw drop when she first arrived here are seeming less fantastic. I think we definitely get inured to things - be it violence, or simple inconvenience, or living in a way that would seem horrible to outsiders. I guess whatever we're presented with, if we're presented with it over and over, it becomes the new norm.

Thanks so much, Mary!

[hr]

LittleBit

Thanks LittleBit! I will update soon. I appreciate your reading and the feedback!

[cammy]

luv it hope it gets an update someday