The Crappy Feelings Thread (HOTLINES in first post)

[EndlessDestiny]

I'm doing horribly in pretty much all of my classes. I don't know how I'll be able to pass them.

[LesbianJedi87]

My sister and her husband have the funniest friends. I met them when I was in Alaska and they just moved here. I like being around fun people and I'm sad to be moving home later this month.

It's finally hit me. Moving home. Ugh.

[Sapphire eyes]

Tomorrow is the anniversary of my Nana's death, she died when I was 12 and I am 23 now but the pain is still there, I wish that she had lived longer so I could have known her better, and also for my mum's sake my mum always tells me how she misses her and there's nothing I can do...and my mum has to go to the doctors tomorrow, its nothing serious thank goodness but the date of the appointment is cruely ironic.
I wish my Nana hadn't died.

[mangled_monkey]

The nightmares are getting worse, and I don't know who to talk to.

[JujuDeRoussie]

The convention is over :(

[umgaynow]

Too much stress this week...appointments with government agencies and the lawyer for my disability case...I've never had to deal with a lawyer before...plus I requested a change of doctor because I wasn't comfortable with the one I saw and since it is a teaching hospital, they sent a letter saying I have to meet with the doctor and her department head...oy...like that's not going to create an adversarial dynamic and make me even more uncomfortable...God I hate having no money...having to settle for a 3rd year resident at the community health clinic instead of a specialist becasue no one else is taking patients...freaking podunk town/state

[gorn]

Oh, how I hate Monday's. Let me count the ways.
One. Two. Three ...

[dlline]

Hey!

How bad does everyone want to be me tomorrow? I get to go to the dentist at 11am for three fillings, and then I get to go to a different dentist at 3:15pm for a root canal.

Woo-hoo! I'm so psyched.

[gorn]

Damn, if you'd done it today - on a Monday - it would've been perfect!

But no, I do not want to be you tomorrow. As much as my day sucks today, it is not going to be anywhere near as bad as that ...

I'm feeling much better about myself now! Thanks, dlline! I ought to go post in the Happy Feelings Thread!

[LesbianJedi87]

I don't exist again. She's hiding everything again and I was really stupid to think it'd be ok. It's not. She needs to grow a pair. I see everyone else in these l/d relationships that have lasted so long and are going so well and I wonder how the HELL do they do it?

[JustSkipIt]

We went to get lunch at the neighborhood restaurant that we frequent. Basically there are three employees usually there: K (the owner), J, and C. All great people. J said, hey y'all haven't been in a few weeks so you don't know. C died. For the past two years his partner has lived in NY going to chef school and C was up there for the graduation. They've seen each other frequently and were engaged to be married. Well, A graduated Friday, they spent Saturday sight-seeing, and Sunday C had a heart-attack and died. He was a really awesome, sweet guy and so was A. I feel really sad about something so random! He was HIV+ for over 20 years but died of a heart attack? How crazy. I know it could be related.

Given that someone died the second thing about lunch seems pretty minor: For the first time in 8 years this happened. We finished eating and I said, "I didn't bring my wallet, can you pay?" And Rachel said, "Yeah. Me neither." So I had to drive home and get my wallet and go back and pay.

[umgaynow]

It's still raining

[littlewicca]

Again s

[Sapphire eyes]

Why is it taht when I had problems and needed support rather than anguish she didn't want to know and now she has a problem and she expects me to help her. I ama a good persoin and can not deny her but sometimes I wish I could just say no because when I begged her to be tehre for me she turned away and now its all weird.

[LesbianJedi87]

Why don't people ever take me seriously? I say one thing and they think another and I can't sway their set thoughts. Whatever. I don't need to deal with it cause I've got my own crap to deal with. I'm moving in a couple weeks and I'm freaking out. My girlfriend and I decided to end the "relationship" part of our relationship and it doesn't make any sense because nothing has changed. We still talk every day, our feelings for each other are the same, there's just certain things we don't do any more. My sisters been down my throat about my life and I'm sick of all these opinions and judgments towards my decisions and when it comes to my sexuality. They don't get that it wasn't a choice and they never will accept this. Moving home just means I have to hide it again and pretend to be the perfect daughter my mom wants me to be. I'm sacrificing so much to be with my girlfriend and live with her and all the while she's not even out and she can't do a thing to make this situation any better. So for the next 6 months I have to suck it up and pretend I'm someone other then who I really am now. It sucks.

Rant over.

[umgaynow]

OK that's it...no more cider!!

[Willowtree252]

the Dr. said he thinks I have Pneumonia ...... well crap

[JujuDeRoussie]

Well... People managed to let me hope... Now I'm pretty sure I'm going to end disappointed... I don't like to hope!

[Sn0wflak3]

God i just need someone to hold me so i can let it all out. so alone.

[Boschi]

My self editor really needs to get her act in gear. I'm having serious diarrhea of the mouth problems - I'm spouting off half-thought-out opinions at hurtful moments. Dumb dee dumb dumb dumb.

[umgaynow]

I'd like to be able to stand up straight now, please

[mangled_monkey]

The random chest pain is apparently just more Fibro. While I'm relieved that I didn't have a heart attack, or anything serious, it's pissing me off that people take that diagnosis and go "oh, it's JUST the fibro. You can't be hurting THAT badly."

Wanna bet?

Grr. Sometimes I really hate my body for what it does to me. But other times I know I'm stronger for it. I still wish this hadn't happened so young, because then I could've at least known what it was like to feel normal. I'm sure I had the fibro my whole life, even if I was only diagnosed at 16.

Holy crap, today is turning into a rant-fest. I guess that's what I get for annoying the ER doctors so much last night.

Oh well.

[LesbianJedi87]

The only thing that's getting me through this week is knowing this will be the last week I'll have to deal with this crap. Just 6 more days and I'm moving back to Cali. In the meantime I still have to continue to put up with this bullshit and fucking people who really need to realize I don't give a SHIT about their problems because I have my own to deal with. Sorry I can't find the sympathy for your LACK of actual problems. Just your own petty bullshit that can be taken elsewhere.

Not to mention I really really miss her....can't do anything about it...can't ask her to forget all this and start over....hmph.

[Yours]

Aw man, I'm having a pretty crap night tonight... Me and my best friend are having a few problems and I don't know how to go about fixing it... It's my own stupid fault, I live far away from her and I got rather drunk (which I don't plan on doing any time soon) and depressed and gave her a call and we ended up having a bit of an argument.

I love her to bits and I can't believe that I hurt her... Stupid stupid stupid !!!!!!!

OK rant over. *Sigh*

Be safe, be happy.

XX Rachel XX

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Someone stabbed me in the eye with his thumb today. It did not feel good. And I got C's in most of my class. And I have a headache. bad day....

[gorn]

I had a big fight with Mrs. Gorn tonight, but that's not why I feel crappy. She left the sink full of dirty dishes and went to bed ... which is her unspoken way of giving me a chance to make everything alright. No kidding, we have NEVER spoken about this before, but if I clean the kitchen then all is forgiven the next day (I don't think it's my fault this time, but that doesn't matter). This isn't why I feel crappy, either, though, because I know I don't do anywhere near enough to help around the house and I feel bad about it. Cleaning the kitchen tonight for a little harmony in the house is really the very least I could do. No, I feel crappy because the kitchen happens to be PARTICULARLY messy tonight, and I'm too tired to roll up my sleeves and go at it. Which means all won't be forgiven, and I'm probably in for a not so pleasant day again when I get home tomorrow.

[littlewicca]

Why the hell it does not load??

[umgaynow]

damn it...I know we had a frost last night...I saw it on the neighbor's roof...and yet I am still all snuffly!

[Sn0wflak3]

Too many f*cking questions, n no answers to be found. Want to shut out the world. don't want to think about it anymore.

[woahnellie]

Could my week get any crappier? Let's see on Monday I hurt my back at work. So I've been out of work for the past couple of days. I'm scared to go back b/c I work with kids and they tend to just jump on you whenever. I have to go to the chiropractor the rest of the week to get my back readjusted and ouch is that painful. I just off the phone with my mom and my grandma is in the hospital. I think she will be ok but it still worries me. And to top it off I had to listen to 4 hours of crying from my best friend last night and then my other friend called and she was crying. My ears kind of hurt. But I try to be a good friend, even if I had a crappy week myself