Killed by Death

[EndlessDestiny]

Hi there. I finally decided to stop being a wimp and put one of the novels I'm working on online. This is one of the earliest ones that I started and I suddenly got back into it. I warn you now that I update randomly, but I'll try to be decent about it. The trouble is not knowing what to write. I've got this plus three other novels I'm working on (one of which used to be a fanfic here). One more thing, it may not seem for a while that there will any femslash, but there will be eventually. Also, feel free to point out type-o's, suggestions, etc.


Killed by Death

Prologue







‘My whole life I felt as though I were working towards something. Something important.’ I think this as I lay here staring at the ceiling. It’s white, just like my mind. Blank. It’s all so strange; the doctors all have names but I don’t. They told me they were pulling up my files to find it.

Where’d my life go?



I feel strange, different. My head feels hazy and light. I try to remember my name but all I get is a blank. I know things, but none of it’s personal. I have to have a name. A life too.

The doctors told me that it doesn’t make sense. My memory I mean. I know who the president is, laws, how to count and tie my shoes, but nothing about me. It’s a giant blank.



Why does my mind have so many holes?



I want to get up. I want to know what I look like.

I’m getting up now. Slowly. I need to find a mirror. The moment my feet hit the floor, a wave of dizziness and nausea hits me. I feel terrible and my eyes won’t focus.

I don’t care. I slowly make my way to the bathroom while using the wall as a support. The second I turn the lights on, my eyes explode.

No, wait, they’re still there. They’re burning though. Now I head towards the mirror.

Once I get to it, all my hopes of remembering disappear. Looking back at me is a complete stranger. The girl looking at me has long black hair and deep green eyes. She has a three-diamond tattoo on her left arm.

I slowly bring my hands up to touch her face. I then touch her hair. It’s black. That doesn’t seem right. Not her hair, not her eyes. I feel a little panicked. My hand reaches to touch the tattoo. I know that it means something, but what that is I don’t know. It comforts me a bit though.



The girl in the mirror is me?!



I can’t take it! I don’t know her! She can’t be me!

I stagger away from the mirror in a frenzy. I trip and fall but I don’t care. I have to leave this place. The reflection. My reflection.



I don’t like hospitals.



For the first time since I’d woken up, I finally realized where I was. A hospital. I looked at my attire, a hospital gown. Why was I here? Was I hurt?



And then I remembered.



I had died. At two in the morning my death was called.



I woke up ten minutes later…

[SJ]

Great writing!

[EndlessDestiny]

Chapter One




Doctor…something…was trying to explain what had happened. He wasn’t doing a very good job. My mind was still blank and no one knew how I was still alive. Tabula Rosa. I giggled for a moment and the doctor looked at me in a funny way for a second then went back to talking. Tabula Rosa, that’s what my mind was, a blank state. Well, my memories anyway.

From what he told me, I had been in a fire. It was the smoke inhalation that did me in. I was waiting for him to tell me about myself. To give me a name. He looked at me and asked me if I had remembered anything. I told him I hadn’t and eagerly waited for him to give my identity, He did. Sort of.



‘Dana.’



I have a name. I was so happy that I missed the other things he said. He waited until I calmed myself down to restart.

Apparently I was seventeen and a runaway. I hadn’t been home in three years. He then told me that he would be contacting my parents. He left the room. I was alone again.

I walked back to that hateful mirror to look at her. To look at me.

As I walked in front of it, she came into view. That strange, alien looking girl. Me. I tried to give her my name. I tried to give me my name. It didn’t fit.

I should be feeling happiness and relief at having a name. I felt nothing. How could that be my name? It had to belong to someone else, not me. It had to be a mistake. Yes, a mistake.



But I knew that wasn’t true.



Just as my temper began to flare up, the doctor came back in. I made my way over to the bed. I needed to hear what he had to say. After that I could relax. I could meditate. That would relax me.

Meditate! Where did that come from? I barely even know what meditation is, yet alone how to do it.

I looked over to where the doctor had taken a seat. He looked so calm. I wanted to strangle whatever he knew out of him. I needed to know who I was. I needed to be her. I needed to be the girl in the papers, in the mirror. I need to be me.

The doctor, unfortunately, didn’t here my silent plea. Instead of telling me what I wanted to know, he told me about the procedures the hospital would be taking for my ‘special case’. I really wanted to hit him.

“How do you feel?” It was the first question that didn’t directly ask about my broken memory. I told him I felt fine. A little dizzy and tired, but fine.



…And empty…



“Are you sure?” I think he wants something to be wrong. Damn doctors. “I would think the smoke inhalation would have damaged your throat.” As I said before, damn doctors.

He’s right though; my throat shouldn’t feel fine. It would be too strange if it didn’t hurt at least a little. It would also lead to too many questions, so I lie. “It f-feels a little strange.” He looks satisfied with himself and says he’ll have a nurse bring me some pills. Yet again, damn doctors.

I don’t want any though. I’m fine. I A-M F-I-N-E. As crazy as that may sound, it’s true. I don’t want any of those doctors to bother with my ‘case’ or me. I don’t want anyone told about me. I don’t want my family to know. If I ran away, there must be a reason for it.

And then I made up my mind. I was going to leave this place. I felt too vulnerable. As I continued with my plans, I suddenly remembered-the pills. Something I don’t want or need.

I better hurry or I’ll end up taking them. Without thinking, I jumped back into bed and feigned sleep. The door opens a minute or so after. A nurse walks over to me in an attempt to wake me up. I’m aware of everything, and suddenly, I’m not. I wake up hours after the sun has set.

I am aware of two things. One: I want something, and two: my feet are heading towards the door.

[SJ]

I like the narration it has a noir feel to it.
Great update!