by Kessari » Mon May 04, 2009 7:36 am
Dear person, who gave birth to me.
I'm so darn pissed off at you! Again! Yes, I've been angry for ages now and it makes me sad somehow. You've been there for me like all my life, but for the last six years I've been more angry with you, than I thought I could be angry in my whole life. Do you understand, that you are truely destroying my family... that you are destroying us?! I don't think you do.
You try to control my life, get me in trouble at work, so that I almost lose my job and you won't let me rest one single day. LEAVE ME ALONE for gods sake!!! You're calling up to 20 times a day? Why? To piss me off? To drive me away even more?
Lately, I remembered the funeral of your adoptive mother, the control freak. Yes, you cried standing next to her grave and why? Because you were f***ing GLAD, that she was gone! Do you want the same for me? I don't, but you just don't see...
Yesterday, you called, yelling at me again, telling me how worthless I am, how I destroyed your life, how disappointed you are in me! AGAIN! This time, I didn't just sit there and take it. No and you know what? I won't take your insults anymore... He took the phone away from you and I thought he'd be mad at me, but he wasn't. HE understood and HE is on my side. You see, you're losing here. WE won't take this anymore and now you say you're sorry? FORGET IT! Not this time.
See, I don't hate you, I don't love you, I just don't care anymore! I won't let this bring me down any longer and so won't he. It's time to break lose and this is what I'm doing now. Don't expect me to call, because I won't. Don't expect me to write, cuz I won't and don't expect me to come over again, because I JUST WON'T.
I'm sorry things have to be this way. I tried. I tried six years and I just can't do this anymore and I won't. You know, when I moved out four years ago, I thought it would get better and not worse. I've been keeping up with your insults, those hateful words every day and this stops here. RIGHT NOW. Back then, I thought it was my fault, that you would be better off without me and guess what, I almost acted on that thought. Now I'm very glad I didn't. Life can be a bitch, but it's worth living and this is where our paths take two different directions.
Yes, this is the end. Don't expect me to turn back. Not this time. It's over! Here, right now!
Dear Kitten,
I know the things said above sound harsh and cruel. I'm none of those things, believe me. It's just something I have to do, because otherwise I will lose myself along the way. My best friend tried to convince me to take this step a long time ago. He just can't see my cry every day anymore.
Don't think it was his decision. It's mine and I have to live with it.
Maybe someone here can understand me. I honestly don't know. I don't even know, if anyone will ever read this or if it all makes sense, but I had to say this somehow to draw the line. I love ya guys. Thanks for everything.
Kat
Dear best friend,
it's been a long time, since I saw you. We've been talking over the phone about every night for the last 13 months. I'm so grateful I met you and I will cherish this friendship with every heartbeat.
You truely are the most important person in my life and believe me I miss you! I miss you terribly. You've been there for me for all those years and still offer to listen to my never ending ramblings...
I'm always here for you, no matter what and someday you will meet a lady, that makes you happy. Just believe in that. You're an awesome guy and deserve to be happy. I love you!
You don't believe God, I don't believe in luck,
They don't believe in us, but I believe we're the enemy... ~ My Chemical Romance - Destroya