Mrs. Pineapple Would be terribly funny (and spectacularly awesome) if I ended updating with the same frequency as the beginning, but sadly I don't think the park indeed. I think Giles popped up in a previous chapter, a name drop by Willow, but it is nice to have him pop up again because I like me some Giles. Hope you like what happens on the roof; I think memorable is a good word to describe, for sure. Thanks so much!
BuffyFan4ever Thanks so much. They've had the star discussion, for the most part, in Tara's studio in a previous chapter, so the fog gazing will be the bits and pieces they haven't covered plus some new stuff. (Esp. since there are no stars out, all fog!) And update at least one a week!?! Maybe in my wildest dreams!! I write when I can steal time, and schedules play no part in that special brand of madness. I update when I can; if it's a week, a month, a year, it's the best that I can do considering real life, etc. and honestly at this point I count every update - no matter how long in coming - a small personal victory! Hope you like the next update!
Zampsa1975 Yeah, I think they're both thinking at this point - great date, indeed! Glad you like the figuring; I'm glad that it's not coming off as too contrived or silly. Not sure about the naughty-touching (Willow has a plan, after all), but hopefully you'll enjoy the fog-gazing nonetheless. Thanks!
SylverMaki Another shout out for Giles! Yay, I'm glad you guys like seeing Giles pop up in fics as much as me. And haha, wedding?! I think if I wrote a wedding into this story I'd still be working on this well into my 80s. More on the park soon - I anticipate that it'll get a few updates, at least. (At least, I hope so; I'm looking forward to writing it.) Hope you enjoy the fog-gazing, and thanks so much!
lonelylanding I'm glad that you liked Willow's "nope!" It felt silly, yet totally seemed like something Willow would do. I can imagine her sheepish, not-at-all-sorry face right now. No music listening for Tara, sadly, she's a woman on a mission once she gets painting in this next bit. And I think the song will change... something. I don't know if between them, but I imagine Tara will be affected by it. We'll see! And thanks re: the music. I enjoy music quite a bit, and the songs on Willow's CD are happily ones that have stuck with me. Please enjoy the next bit!
Bellalocke Thanks - I really appreciate the kind words. The story is a little on the epic side, but I think that's just cause I'm excessively wordy.
I imagine that the story is a lot more tangible now that they mostly have a clue; it certainly is harder to write though! It's hard to not have them just get on with the kissing, you know? I'm really glad you like the detours. They seem important; they need to have these moments to strengthen their friendship, and their friendship is essential for their relationship to work. I always liked that about Willow and Tara on the show - it was so obvious that they were friends first, and that friendship carried through. And haha about the neighbors. In my head, Tara's apartment is in a building with one other apartment unit, and the owner travels a lot and is hardly around. The girls will have free license to be as loud as they want.
And thanks for the reassurance re: the frequency of updates. If I had my way I'd update every couple of days. Alas... I hope you like the next update and thanks again so much!
wayland Honestly, I can't believe I updated so quickly either! Regarding the green-eyes painting; Tara painted a small rectangle canvas, probably 4x6 or 5x7 when she was first creating the match that she gave to Willow, then later that afternoon took the remaining paint and filled a larger canvas, just to use the paint, and possibly use the canvas as the base for another painting. At least, that's what she did in my mind; not sure if I ever wrote it down. So, if I didn't, that's what she did with the leftover paint! Thanks re: the angst vs. the happy ending - I worry too! Not that I think I'm a great angst writer - I certainly don't - but it is a shift to go from obscuring their relationship to trying to have it not blossom too fast. It's a tricky balance, so I'm relieved that you think it's going well so far. And completely re: the invitation - language is so subtle. It's amazing how a few words can change everything. I have a fun time figuring that out. Agreed about the code, though I think Willow is starting to figure it out too, thank goodness! And I'm intrigued by what you thought was going to happen. It's weird, because I look at how the story is going and I think to myself how some people probably have a preconceived notion of how it's going to unfold, and will they be disappointed with what I write... but it's the story. It's Willow and Tara's lives. Hopefully how they come together works because it's not manufactured. It's just how life unfolds sometimes. If that makes sense.
(And truly, I think they'll both have regrets, but hopefully they'll realize that whatever happened happened and the future is theirs.) Thanks so much Clare - really appreciate it.
Sassete Haha, Willow is smooth, isn't she? And seriously, she's the worst plan minder in the world. How she thinks she's going to pull this off is beyond me. Hilarious about the love triangle. I suppose Superman/Clarke Kent/Lois Lane is the greatest love triangle ever. (Off the top of my head I can't think of another contender, as most of the ones I can think of are actually love rectangles.) So, so funny that this story reminded you of that, and yet, I can see your insane superhero logic clearly. The when is the key, isn't it. (Thank you Pens! Love that 'will they, won't they' is not in play.) I don't know, I try when I write this story to never manufacture anything. I can't sit and write angst or plot twists. Like, 'oh, this will really get the readers in a tizzy!' I think if I tried, I'd fail miserably. I just try and write honestly about things that could reasonably happen to people in this situation, with the underlying motivator that they're good people doing the best they can. And you're right, those good intentions have led them to sexual frustration hell. The desire is certainly bubbling up, and honestly, it's Willow's will more than anything that is in question. She's the one with the plan, after all. And very interesting that you're up in the air about which you'd prefer. I find that very intriguing.
Awesome breakdown of Willow's modes. That's it, in a paragraph-shaped nutshell. I enjoy #2 the most, I think. I just think of her meek little "damn," in 'Triangle' and it makes me want to write her watch her carefully led plan goes astray. That said, #1 and #3 are pretty awesome as well, and I think I'd have fun writing her those ways, too. Who can resist Willow in any form? And yay for you writing! Even if it never sees the blue background of Pens, I'm thrilled to know you're writing. The world needs you writing; it's just a fact. And thanks for the super kind words. I really, truly appreciate it Sass. Hope you enjoy the next part, and how the rest of the story unfolds.
Kajun I actually found the video from a friend who is moving from San Francisco and was getting verklempt at the thought. I must have watched it 50 times since, and teared up half of those times. Love, love, love San Francisco. Thanks so much for the kind words. And agreed, Willow would be devastated if she knew Tara felt like a secret. And the park - I promise, more on that relatively soon. (Four or five or six updates from now? I think? I haven't written it, but that seems right pace wise...) Funny about the waitress having Buffy-syndrome. I'm glad that you liked Willow's "nope!" I think the last song on the CD will definitely affect Tara. I don't know about seals the deal, but she'll definitely be invested in it, much like she has been with the rest of the songs. It's Willow's favorite, after all. (And you just have to wait!
) Glad you like Brave!Willow. I don't know if she realizes that Tara has a Willow-inspired spark, but I think once all is said and done she'll be pretty bowled over to know that she was a muse. I'm glad you liked the happy; we all need happy from time to time. And re: your wish - granted. Just share a little with me, if you don't mind! Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy the next bit. (And football?! SF Giants, SF Giants!
)
Owl So funny about reading through your fingers. I write that way sometimes. Very slow going.
The closeness of them is madness. And, while there is a plan, it's a Willow plan, and she seems sort of shaky on the details herself, what with Tara being you know, Tara. Being apart was hard when they didn't suspect, and now that they know? Good lord. Willow is definitely playing with fire, that's for sure. Glad you liked the Europe backpacking talk - more on that in the future, for sure. Also glad you liked the "nope" - I was so worried that would seem stupid, so relieved that people seem to like. And you're right, Giles probably would not approve of books being used as blunt instruments to inflict pain. And yay for fog-gazing. I am a fan of The Shins (the ninth song on Willow's Real Me CD is 'Saint Simon') and love that line. Hopefully you'll enjoy their time together.
You know, I mentioned to histchic on my last round of feedback that I realized that I was introducing anachronisms, and that is should bother me but it really doesn't. As I mentioned to her, the story isn't set in 2004 so much as that's just when I started writing it; it sort of exists in a nebulous time. That's no excuse, for consistency's sake it should be one or the other, not all, but for a while, I couldn't edit any of the previous updates to play catch up because they were uneditable, imported from the old EZBoard. And now that I can, I just haven't had time to wade through and find them all. And that was going to be my story, and I was going to stick to it, but then I got to thinking and, you know, I should be better about the timeline. I did mention that the museum wasn't in the park anymore, which does set it in a certain timeline, so, moving forward, will likely be a little more flashback with the references. So, enjoy the Lady Gaga line now, because in the future it might morph into something different! Thanks so much for everything. And never fear rambling - because in my experience you don't ramble. (And what's wrong with rambling? I don't think there would be a story to comment on if I wasn't such a fan of rambling!) Thanks so much!
LonelyTara Thanks so much! Hopefully you enjoy both the new painting and their time on the roof. I'm glad you like the references to the park. I try not to be too ham-fisted with them, but it seems like the closer they get, the more they would be remembering the last time they were as close... if that makes sense. Glad you liked Tara zeroing in on Jealous!Willow. She's done it before, but this instance was clear as day. And good that they're starting to be honest with their feelings, even if not all the way honest. They seem to be getting enough of it for it to work. And patient Tara is indeed marvelous. I think that's what Willow needed in that moment. She's terrified of coming out, but the promise of being with Tara on the other side is so, so real to her. Thanks again - I really hope you like the next update.
fhiwda Thanks so much. The coming out is coming up... in a bit. And Tara and Willow kissing on the roof.... Hrm, stay tuned!
dreamingstate47 I love that people are still discovering BtVS. Makes me so happy. Just out of curiosity, how did you discover the show? (Recommendation from a friend, reruns, etc.?) I know what you mean about Pens; it's just the reality of these types of forums. Luckily, as you've discovered, there are some really great finished works floating around. And, if you don't mind the unfinished ones, some gems there too. (I love imagining the endings; great day dream material.) Yay for supportive roommates, certainly helps! And amen about the good souls who have stuck with this story for six years. I'm relieved that you don't think the journey has been contrived, and REALLY glad you don't think the last "week" has been tedious. I certainly never intended to write this much, or cover so much of their time, but it I've had fun doing it. It's been a real pleasure to see them get closer. I really hope you like where the story goes from here, and thanks very much for the very kind words.
JustSkipIt That's pretty funny about the y'all. Funny partially because when I first started reading your comment I thought you were annoyed with the waitress because she was calling them "girls," like it was disrespectful or condescending or something! I agree that there has been a shift, and yes, they're totally dating. Willow is holding on to the fiction that it's not really "dating" dating until she's out and she asks and it's all out in the open... but it's dating. I mean, she has convinced herself that until she says, "I'm gay, Tara will you go on a date with me," that this can be explained as good friends who are simply, yet definitely, madly flirting... but it's dating. And yes, they're being very patient but it's also really new, this thought that they like each other. I think a certain shyness is a part of this; they're seeing each other differently, trying to figure out where the lines are. I agree that this is a romantic time for them and they will look back fondly, if they can get past any regrets they might have. I'm glad you liked Willow's "nope" - as I've mentioned to others, I was worried that it was too silly, but it seemed so her that I had to include it. And Tara's knowledge is all story - exactly. It's sort of like she's watching a foreign film without subtitles and is figuring out what's going on as best as she can. How much she trusts the current version of story moving forward should be interesting; more on that in the next update. Funny about the hormones. Also funny observation about imminent updating. She'd probably disagree, given the number of times I've surprised her; I don't always give a head's up! And "go Rangers?!" Sounds delicious. Thanks Deb!
marlaman22 Thanks so much - I hope you like the next update!
inspiron Thanks! Yeah, Tara's pretty much on board with Willow being gay. I think she's sporting that cool, calm, collected vibe because, well, partially it's her nature to close in on herself when things get dicey, and partially because she's sort of numb from shock. I'm sure that when she's had time to really let things sink in she'll be all sorts of freaking out. And so glad you liked Willow in the last part. I do think the awkwardness will fade once everything is out in the open. And more time on the roof is indeed a good test for their will! As for the Tara CD, I think it was a vague 'I'm making something for you and it's not ready,' though I'm sure once she's out she'll be more than happy to make Tara a million and one mushy mix CDs. Thanks so much - really hope you enjoy the next bit.
wimpy0729 Delicious! Love it - thanks for the highly paid compliment! I'm really glad you liked their date. And yes, Tara cluing in about Willow's jealousy - I'm pretty sure she had suspected before but this was like shining a spotlight on it. I hope you like the next bit. A rooftop date is romantic, even if Willow tries to pretend otherwise. And re: Christmas Quickie - seriously, who could forget LNF?! It's just too, too epic.
Sanpfa Re-read? Wow, cause that would be a long haul. I don't know about most anticipated - I think that is a bit down the line, but hopefully this next update is enjoyable nonetheless. I'm so glad you liked their date, and that Willow had the guts to just say what was on her mind about Tara's painting. (Well, at least some of what's on her mind - there rest would probably be a little overwhelming and very off-plan!) I'm glad you think the details are working. I like to read layered stories myself, so I'm glad that my hamfisted attempts to do the same are working, at least somewhat. I really hope you like the next update, and the roof date in general. Thanks!
DaddyCatALSO Exactly - here Tara is wondering if she should offer her shoulder while Willow is hoping beyond hope that she doesn't. Empathy vs. stubborn independence. And yes, S4 Tara probably felt like she was in a pretty closeted relationship, or at least, hidden from the people that meant the most to Willow. I wanted to kind of bring that out here, along with a few other things from S4. (More on that in the next few updates, I suppose.) Tara has decided to trust Willow, or at least, her gut feeling about Willow, and we'll see how that goes. Tara is patient... but so far, she's only had to be patient for like a day (since that's how long she's been sure that they're flirting and dating, etc.) And, while it's completely noble that she wants to be patient, who's to say given the right circumstances she will be able to. Will power, will power, will power - that's pretty much what this story is boiling down to now! And yeah, I think Willow's coming out scenes will be hard to write (though I've already written some of them), because coming out is hard no matter what, but I think there are other things that will be even harder for me to write. Like, for instance, that day in the park! I have some of it, but I want to make sure it's up to snuff, so to speak. That may take some time. Anyway, thanks a bunch, and please enjoy where the story goes from here.
Foomatic Haha, yeah, I did worry that they might burn off the fog with their combined hotness but then hey, stargazing! So, it'll all work out in the end.
Funny about your partner; isn't that the way sometimes? I'm just glad Willow and Tara have clued in that yes, they are dating. I think they both needed that, despite the frustration and confusion that it brings. (And yes, Willow totally asked Tara out - I'm sure she didn't even think about how it must have sounded as she blurted it out, but the way she said it - Dateville indeed.) Willow is indeed a hefeweizen girl (Hef girl totally made me think about the Playboy mansion, and that sort of gave me the willies!), though I think she's prefer a martini over a beer most days of the week. Thanks so much! Hope you like the next update.
sadie Thanks for the thanks. You know, it doesn't feel quick, but I suppose anything with less than a year gap is positively lightening fast. I'm glad you liked the date, and yes it is gong deeper. You're right, Tara is more sure about Willow's feelings with nothing more than what she thinks she's reading from the redhead. It really is flimsy, when you think about it. Sure, Willow is outrageously flirting without being out, but beyond that there's the whole in the closet thing that Tara has looming over her head like an anvil. I'm sure that despite her growing confidence she does have a small voice in her head that is shouting, "wishful thinking!" And Willow is totally going in two directions - very much against plan while insisting that there is no plan violation at all. Their will power on the roof is going to be tested, for sure. Hopefully you'll like what happens, even if it's something unexpected. (Not that it will be, I have no idea what you're expecting, just, yeah...) And I hear you on the paradox. I can't wait to write 'the end' yet it will be sad to say goodbye... thankfully, don't have to worry about that for a bit. Thanks again!
sabina Yeah, they have come a long way since the first few chapters, haven't they? Amazing what spending time together and trusting each other can do. (And Willow stopping spazzing for a few minutes and letting Tara be her friend.) So glad you liked their secret-yet-totally-not-a-secret date. They are indeed both all in, as they say. I think you're partially right about Willow and the fear; she is terrified about coming out. But, she also wants to be out when she starts dating Tara, for Tara's sake, and she wants to be able to tell her mom that she hasn't dated anyone so that her mom doesn't think she's been living this secret life. If that makes sense? Hopefully you'll enjoy the next update, even if the fog gazing is not quite in it yet. Thanks!
SMGOVAN Hrm, there's no real way to word this that sounds good, but misery continues in the next update! Hope you enjoy, despite the miseryness of it.
Thanks!
WillowRTaraM1 Hey Jackie! Good to see you. That's so funny about not associating Neverland with Buffy or fanfic anymore and wow, wow, wow flattering about it being a fav. That's just, wow. Thank you, so blushing right now. Thank you re: the feeling. I try and be as honest as I can when I write, and imagine what it would be like to be in their shoes. Feels the most real, that way. I'm so glad you like how their relationship has been progressing, and so right to wonder about Willow and her plan. Whether she chucks the plan or sticks with it is the key; the ball is sort of in her court, after all. And yes! Definitely getting closer to finding out about that day in the park. (I think in like 5 or 6 updates, if I'm seeing into my crystal ball correctly.) Thanks for the family well-wishes - doing great and just gearing up for Halloween as I'm sure you are too! Hope you enjoy the next update and the fog gazing as well.
Agilulfa I'm so glad you liked Willow's "nope," as well as their conversations. It is weird to have them talk so much. They've been so in their heads that actually talking to each other seems exotic! More talking to each other coming up, promise. Very funny about the change to when to how. Hopefully you'll enjoy the fog gazing. Thanks!
shiraz I'm so glad that you loved their date and that you think things are really starting to move! And Willow can't help herself, can she? What was supposed to be a quick dinner out has turned into the never-ending date. But seriously, who can resist the fog and a pretty lady? I know I couldn't. And funny about wanting Willow to shuck the plan, though brrr about the rooftop loving. (Though, they could just warm each other up...) Thanks so much - I hope you enjoy the next update and what happens on the roof.
ms_psyhco_pep_squad Big blush - thank you, though don't get in trouble shirking on duties and responsibilities or what not. This story ain't going anywhere. Here are the song and artists on the CD so far (and thanks for the kind words):
Tule Fog - Charmless
How We Know - The Thermals
Yawn, Yawn, Yawn - Les Savy Fav
Midas - Rubicks
A List I Could Write - The Eskimos
Lost - The Open
Smoke Baby - Hawksley Workman
Let's Get Lost - Tina Dico
Saint Simon - The Shins
The Idea of Growing Old - The Features
4:35 AM - Gemma Hayes
Switching Off - Elbow
Every Shining Time You Arrive - Sunny Day Real Estate
Love At First Feel - Mark Kozelek
For The Windows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti - Sufjan Stevens
For Those of Us Gone - A Northern Chorus
Mad As Snow (Acoustic) - Kitchens of Distinction
vampyregurl73 You're right, they are starting to recognize their emotions. It's a scary, nervous time, but so far, so good, and the countdown is indeed on. Your question about Willow being able to hold back is really the big question for the next couple of updates. It's her plan; can she stick to it? The dance is bittersweet and you're right, the little moments do mean so much. I really hope you like where the story goes from here, and thanks so much.
BeMyDeputy Wow, thank you for the incredibly kind words. I feel incredibly sheepish, however, because I only wish I was as good a writer as your feedback makes me out to be! Thanks re: the interrupted statement. You know, I certainly didn't intend for it to be a big tease or cliffhanger. It was just the right time in the conversation for the food to be delivered.
That they were having an honest moment and that Willow was sharing more than she usually does... I wish I could say it was done for some larger dramatic effect, but it really was just one of those 'poor waitress timing' moments that seem to happen just when you finally feel like your conversation is taking off on a date. (Haven't we all been there?) Similarly for the mirrored conversation. I wish I could say I worked really hard on it, fully aware that it was a rhetorical device, but honestly it is just a happy accident. I think about actual, real conversations and we as people tend to mimic and repeat conversational styles; it certainly helps when you want to have a truthful conversation but you're a little unsure of how to proceed, or are shy. "Let me ask you a question," "Okay, now let me ask you a question." I originally had Willow playing with a tablecloth, but the restaurant doesn't have tablecloths, so I thought pouring some water would serve a similar fidgety, buying-some-time effect. For Tara, I was going to have her drink some beer, but her beer by that time was empty, so water it was.
As for the "simply" responses - happy accident, or more likely, no synonym worked as well. Re: "I can be patient" - I think both know. I mean, I know Tara knows, and even if she doesn't completely trust that it is referring to her situation, Willow knows too. I'm glad you liked the 'she knows' - it's those lightening bolt moments when you're out with someone you love and you realize, wow, so maybe she can see through to the real of what's going on that are so fantastic. And Willow is so far ahead of herself with her plan to ask Tara out on a date after she comes out that she basically goes ahead and does it before. Will they actually go? More on that in the future, of course. Thanks so much! I really hope you enjoy the next part.
dragonfly Hey Clau! Glad to hear life is smoothing out for you, and yes, our little guy keeps us very busy in all the best ways! Thanks very much for the kind words. I'm glad that you thought their date was heart melting. It was important for them to stay brave throughout the date and they actually managed. I chalk it up to them trusting each other more. I think it's a good sign that their friendship is strong, which I think it really important for them to have a happy relationship eventually. And yes, Willow is about to burst. Whether she keeps quiet and sticks to the plan is the big question. I'm glad you liked Willow's "nope" and Tara cluing in to Willow's jealousy. Hopefully you'll like their roof date. I know if I was going on a roof date to check out the fog I'd definitely count on some snuggles! Thanks again - hope you enjoy the next update.
mishki Thanks so much for delurking - means a lot. And wow to the re-read. I know I shouldn't be amazed anymore that people have read this more than once but it still gets me every time. I'm glad you like the build up; the journey is my favorite part (hence the whole, taking so long thing). Thanks again for the kind words, truly.
WillowRulez Thanks - I'm glad I've stuck with the story. I'd kick myself daily—possibly hourly—if I ever dropped it. I want to know how it ends just as badly as you guys do! And glad that cracked you up. Cracked me up a little too, which I know is dorky cause I wrote it, but whatever. Hope you like the next update. No coming out, but definitely some food for thought.
Cyteach Aw shucks, thanks so much. I really hope you like the next update.
Suzyque4215 Welcome! Both to the board (it looks like you're newish) and to the story. I hope you're having fun reading the stories on Pens and in the archives. There are so many awesome stories and authors. It's a great community. Thanks for the very kind words - totally blushing. I agree that coming out to her mom and Buffy is so necessary for Willow to be what Tara really needs. This story will definitely go a little beyond the coming out - I can't write all this without getting to experience some of the them-together. Thanks re: sticking with the story. As I've mentioned before, I love this story so much and want to experience the end as much as everyone else. Hope you enjoy where it goes from here and thanks again!
pipsberg First, go Giants! Second, you're not late if you beat the update.
Yes, they've definitely been on several dates. Will be fun once they're together to go through all of their dates and reminisce. (And I just spelled 'reminisce' right on the first try - I am ridiculously proud of myself!) Glad you thought I got Magnolia's right. I wanted them to go to another restaurant actually, in SOMA, but lo-and-behold it has gone out of business since my time in SF. Such a shame, cause it was a nice place. However, Magnolia's proved to be a solid stand in. Thanks re: their dialogue. I have a lot of fun picturing what and how they say things, and I try and frame it from a canon perspective. I'm glad you liked Willow's "nope" and post-"nope" ramblings. Seemed very her. I'm sure looking back Willow is going to feel like she might as well worn a shirt that said, "Totally Jealous of Morgan." I'm glad you thought it was a good first date - best first dates are the best! Thanks again, and again, go Giants! xoox
Naeryn Thanks so much - I'm glad you liked their date. It was awkward in that first-date sort of way, but they were committed to not getting derailed so they didn't. I'm glad you thought their interactions were "them" - as I said above, I really try and picture whether canon-W/T would say the things that they end up saying here. I try and get as close as possible, with mixed success. Yay for Willow being honest (mostly) and yay for Morgan! She does deserve a little happiness, though I'm not sure if she'll find it with the waitress. (Just have a feeling about that...) And definitely live the fog gazing scene vicariously - it is a pretty romantic set up, despite all that Willow tells herself. Thanks again, and please enjoy the next bit.
Stupid Buffy for interrupting Tara's painting time & putting some doubts back into her head... I'm really glad that Tara very quickly overcame those doubts... I kinda hope that Willow figures out that her coming out priorities are slightly wrong, she should come out to Tara first and then to her mom & Buffy because when Willow comes out to Buffy, Buffy is going to call Tara immediately and I think Tara needs to know Willow is gay before that...
Bring on chapter 76 I say!
