Ariel:
Yay…DIBS!!
I’m really glad that Tara wasn’t raped. That’s the classic trauma and this one is more realistic and it also shows something about the kind of person Tara is; that it still hurts her. Very new take on her mother, no longer a force of pure good in her life.
I never had any intention of doing a rape, child abuse, etc. Nothing violent or self inflicted/drug related, etc. I wanted something purely accidental, yet a bit traumatic just the same. You are right about rape being the ‘classic trauma.’ It’s written, in general, so often that one would assume nearly every woman has been raped at some point in her life. I’ve never know anyone that was raped, however, I’ve know several women that have had accidental/unwanted pregnancies. It’s not the end of them, but it does affect them deeply. As for Tara’s mom…fame is brutal and it does things to people. She’s not a Dina Lohan, but she did put fame over her daughter’s well being.
Shel, I got teary-eyed over this. You kept us waiting a long time and it was worth it. So tender, hearts open and their eyes so full of love for each other . . .
Thanks!

Kelly is a HORRIFFIC BITCH!!!
On a less romantic note, Kelly the BITCH GODDESS
Tara needs to shit-can THAT loser in a New York minute! Bye, bye bitchie!!!!!!!!
LOL…but will she???????
Good that Willow can see the strategy. It is completely believable since skilled softball requires strategic thinking, too.
I really wanted to show that W/T are on the same page and understand the other’s life because, it’s going to become very important later.
Thanks for the feedback!
Laragh: Wow, I wish I'd had a Cyndi when I was coming out!! Efficient!
Uh, I second that!
I'm starting to feel like Kelly has a big ole crush on Tara.
Hmmm…maybe………..maybe not.
Poor Tara. Shit, that's awful. So much to deal with, so young. Fuck.
I know and I promise that’s it with the earth shattering personal trauma’s. But…we still have to deal with Sheila and their coming out. So, I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens there.
I'm sad and happy now. Damn you with your confusing emotional updates.
Hahahahahaha…sorry???
Thanks for the feedback!!!
zampsa19752001: I'm glad that both Cyndi & Tara are aware of Kelly's worsening attitude... I hope Tara very soon solves that problem permanently... I'm glad that Willow now knows Tara's secret that has bothered her for years... Extra big yay for Willow saying those 3 magical words...
Kelly will be dealt with, but you know Tara…she’s loyal. Yes, Tara’s secret is finally out, but Willow still has a few of her own…nothing as big, but they need to be dealt with all the same.
Thanks for the feedback!!!
LonelyTara: I'm glad that they've finally admitted their love, though I'm sad that it had to be prompted by such painful memories for Tara.
Yes, well, I debated doing the I love you’s here for several weeks and then in the end decided that it was the right time. It was what Tara needed to hear to strengthen her resolve and really show her that Willow’s in it for the long haul.
It's tragic that her mother forced her to have an abortion because she was worried about her daughter's career. How traumatic.
Yes, quite. I really wanted to show her mom as human. People do things sometimes and it’s shocking, but it happens…especially in Hollywood. The allure of fame changes people…even the good ones.
Thanks for the feedback!
SMGOVAN: Wow, You caught me off guard with that one. I'm kind of stunned right now. This has 2 be a first..at least it's the first time that I have seen it in a Willow/Tara fic.
YAY!!! From the start of this fic, I was racking my brain looking for something new. Like yourself, I’ve read hundreds and I’ve never seen it either. Plus, I wanted something accidental, something to show that Tara is in fact human, as is her mother. Not to mention it’s a total Hollywood thing to do. I got the idea listening to an interview on The Howard Stern Show with one of Charlie Sheen’s porn actress girlfriends, LOL.
Without getting into the whole abortion rights issue, I'm shocked to read that Tara, at any age, would have an abortion. I have very mixed emotions about this right now. The strongest being...I think I love your Tara even more..because you have made her very human.
I debated over this for several weeks before I decided to throw caution to the wind. Here’s the thing: Tara is the only child of a single mother that had tremendous influence over her life. She was acting since she was little and her mother was in charge. It’s doubtful that she attended regular school after she was 10, so her mom was it. By going through with it, she simply allowed her mother to make yet another ‘career’ decision for her, even though it wasn’t what she wanted. She was 15 and naive.
Man, You have huge balls (figuratively) for taking such a beloved character and putting her in such a controversial situation. I for one love it..bravo!
My balls thank you! Lol
ps. Kelly deserves to go to hell..with gasoline drawers on!
Now there’s a thought…
Thanks for the feedback!
silent_x: I was with Willow when Tara started her story- I thought 'Oh god, she was raped.' The twist was surprising and original, and I liked how you used it to bring more depth to your characters.
Thanks!! I’m glad it caught everyone a little off guard.

Reminds me of Lily's 'You are dead to me' look from HIMYM.
Which was a take off on Dark Willow, lol. That HIMYM episode is one of my favorites:)
Thanks for the feedback!
Indigokane: bout time Kelly's true face started to show. whether she has a crush or is an opputunistic freeloader, she's still a coniving bitch and going to cause Tara major problems.
Kelly probably has more potential than anyone to hurt Tara. She knows everything about Tara, not to mention living in her house. I’m not sure that Tara sees it that way yet, but by being on the “outside,” Willow is starting to see things a little differently.
Tara's secret was bad, but i think it could have been worse.
Yes, it could have been MUCH worse, but thankfully it wasn’t!!!
Thanks for the feedback!!!
BeMyDeputy: Okay, it sounds like I'm in the minority here, but my reaction to Tara's big reveal was "Oh. Okay. And you haven't gotten therapy about your decades of night terrors WHY?"
This is addressed a little bit in the next chapter and I may or may not delve more deeply into it later. But I can say this: Tara’s was basically programmed by her mother not to tell a soul, so to her, that includes a Dr. She’s ashamed that she did it and paranoid about it getting out. You gotta remember, her mother only died a few years ago and up until that point, Tara was still firmly under her thumb.
the fact that this has clearly damaged Tara in a way that clinical psychology is there to address
Here’s the thing about night terrors: they come and go and are not something that happen every night. Night terrors in adults are usually trauma based, but can also reoccur from childhood. My brother had them well into his teen years, always revolving around a set of glowing green eyes. They can become a mixture of things that bother or scare you. In adults however, they mostly occur due a lack of sleep, poor eating habits, stress, etc. While I don’t think Tara’s are serious enough for her to seek extensive therapy, she does need to talk about what happened and just talking with Willow will no doubt help.
I really liked how seamlessly the "I love you"s came into play
Thanks!!

As for Kelly, she's being a petulant child.
Ha! You hit the nail right on the head.
Thanks for the feedback!
xlaurax1: In saying that, she was so young when it happened, and being forced to go through with it agains her will, that's pretty bloody harsh.
Sadly, that happens all the time to young girls. Back before abortions were legal, parents used to send their daughters away to have the babies and then force them to give them up. I think the latter would be worse emotionally. In her mother’s mind, she was doing the only thing she knew to do to protect Tara, but in reality it was more to protect her career and her ‘America’s Sweetheart’ reputation. Ah, Hollywood…
On a happier note, I really liked the conversation with Cyndi, she seems like one the few people not out to get them.
She’s been with Tara for a long time and knows where her bread is buttered. Plus she’s kind of a surrogate mom as well.
Thanks as always for the feedback!!!
vampyregurl: Unless they have it and raise it as a sibling freaky scenario was used, but that's just creepy.
Hahahaha…I actually thought about that!! Reminded me of that Sally Field movie ‘Soap.’ Her niece was really her daughter raised by her mother, lol.
Please tell me she doesn't have the place rigged with cameras and microphones.
Hahaha…no. No evil trio gnome cameras.
I still can't wait for the trip home,
And I can’t wait to write it!! I’ve been writing it in my head for months!!!

Thanks for the feedback!!
JustSkipIt: I remember when the two of them were talking about therapy and she was basically saying that she had no need for it. Newsflash: yes. You do.
This is addressed a bit in the next chapter. Even though night terrors can be a serious problem, Tara’s are infrequent. They mostly occur when she is over tired and stressed. I think the simple fact that she actually told someone is a big first step for her.
I had it narrowed down to either abortion of drunk-driving-murder
No, no drunk driving murder, lol. I don’t think Willow could have let that one go.
I enjoyed the love yous because they were quite unconventional.
Thanks!!

Re: Kelly - my theory is she's worried about losing her job to Willow. Basically she sees Willow as an unemployed student.
Hmmmm…interesting theory.
Just to check is Cyndie suggesting that Tara come out before T-giving but just not say that she's dating Willow? That's what it sounds like. It also reminds me of the number of semi-closeted lesbians who like spend all their time with an out lesbian
She’s basically suggesting that they be seen together with out officially coming out. Her theory is that the more they try to hide, the more ravenous the paparazzi will get. If random photo’s of Tara are snapped of her going to a movie with a friend, having dinner, etc. that it will satisfy their hunger and they’ll stop camping out on her doorstep. A short term fix to keep them in the closet until after the trip home.
BTW…Queen Latifa…good grief! Come out already!!! How many pictures have we seen of you snuggling and kissing a woman?? “She’s just a friend.” Does she really think that we’re THAT stupid???
Thanks for the feedback!
DaddyCatAlso I read it as Cyndi's suggesting Tara let Willow become a "known person in Tara's circle" but have the coming-out be after the holiday.
Yes!
Very good choice for "The Secret."
Thanks!!
Thanks for the feedback!!!
beautiful_love Now that Tara knows about her shoddy treatment of Willow I'm curious as to where that will go.
Not only does she know, but got to see it first hand and I doubt she’ll let her get away with it.
I enjoyed the shared "I love you's." You didn't make a big reveal about it and I adore this story so much more because you didn't. While emotional, it was just an ordinary moment between them and I think that makes it more special because it's more real.
Thanks so much! That’s exactly how I wanted it to come across:)
Thanks for the feedback!
LonelyTara Nice update. I admit, as others have expressed, to a certain apprehension about Kelly's behavior. I hope it doesn't have anything to do with me inadvertently giving you an idea about Morgan. :(
Yes! This was all your fault!! LOL

I actually already had this chapter written. Kelly’s behavior continues to raise eyebrows in the next chapter as well.
Thanks for the feedback!!!
wimpy0729[quoteThis is always such a touchy subject, but you handled it so well and realistically, and it just made my heart ache for Tara. [/quote]
It is and I’m glad that it came across so well.
Maybe by telling Willow, and now knowing she loves her no matter what, can at least start a healing process.
Therapy or not, just saying it out loud was a huge step for Tara.
That has to be one of the most emotional updates I've ever read where they've declared their love for each other. Simply beautiful in so many ways.
Yay!! Thank you!!

I'm liking Cyndi a lot. It sounds like she knows what she's doing, and I like how she's not going to take any shit from Kelly.
She does and in this business she has to be tough to deal with all the crap. So she knows bs when she sees it. I’m sure sometime in the not too far future, she’ll talk with Tara about Kelly. BTW…I think she really is just stupid, lol.
Thanks for the feedback!!
KnightkyLoveWhew, that's intense. Definitely perspective on the whole Kelly thing/ LIFE. hahha.
oh man. now I'm depressed. I thought this was a happy story. gahhh..
I don’t know…besides this chapter, I think it’s pretty happy, lol. I promise that was definitely the biggest emotional reveal and there will be much fun in Texas. Ok, maybe a little drama too, lol.
Thanks for the feedback!!
bluncer73 OH WOW...that was a curve ball...was not expecting that at all...
Yay!!! Exactly what I wanted!!

Kelly will get her just desserts…eventually.
Thanks for the feedback!
willowtaralover I found the teams coach reaction was interesting in that she was more concerned about how Willow having problems with Morgan is gonna be a bigger thing for the team to deal with than Willow dating a bona fide star.
The coach is seeing the Tara thing as personal and the Morgan thing as team business. Willow seeing Tara won’t affect how they play together, but Morgan and Willow infighting definitely will. So, that’s what she’s seeing.
Even if Willow and Tara weren’t dating but just best friends Kelly should have shown proper courtesy and respect for Willow and not been so offensive. Cos that’s how you end up getting your ass kicked all round town.
At this point we don’t know exactly what Kelly’s agenda is. It could be anything, she acting like a petulant child for reasons unknown to everyone, even me! haha
Wow, what a huge admission on Tara’s part. It’s easy to see how Willow could assume that Tara had been raped, but it is a change to see a story where Tara’s sex was consensual and not forced on her. I have read quite a few stories where Tara had been raped and, while it is certainly not a nice subject nor one to be taken lightly, I think it can get overused, and it does seem to get overused with Tara.
I agree and that’s why I wanted to go with something totally different. My Tara is strong and confident. What happened to her could have happened to anyone and I feel like it really just made her that much stronger.
Thanks for the feedback!
Love_2003 At least now Tara knows that there is some friction between Willow and Kelly.
I think that if Willow had told Tara first, w/o her seeing it first hand, that she may not have thought it to be such a big issue. Now she knows that there is a problem with Kelly and it needs to be dealt with as soon as possible.
I don't know what I was thinking Tara's secret was going to be, but I didn't see that coming.
YAY!!! The element of surprise is always fun when it actually works!
Thanks for the feedback!
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