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New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

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New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Katharyn » Mon Oct 01, 2001 10:52 am

As someone pointed out to me (thankyou K) this part (and part II as it will be) are not easy fic's to read for some W/T fans. So a few words of explanation...
Some people like AU's and some don't (personally I am not a massive fan of them though there are some great ones completed and ongoing out there.) But beyond that the hard edged Tara is also a departure that is hard to take - I know I still feel that and worry about it when I write that Tara. She is definitely "grey" and getting closer to darkness. That is not where Tara is "supposed" to be I know.
Also there is the lack of Willow. This is "The Wish" reality but in summer between S4 and S5. Willow, there, is over a year dead as is Buffy and some other characters we love. I can see why this is hard to read, so it might be worth mentioning what the future of this "Sidestep" is, if it has one (which I am still not decided on.) That might hopefully show that things are not as grim as they look... well they are but they get better!
The immediate future is Part II - simply the interview. This is split between the Beginnings Cycle and the Sidestep as Part I was. No Willow in the Sidestep just yet, sorry Molly... This will happen and will be posted hopefully Wednesday this week. That may well be the end of the Sidestep, but regardless the Beginning Cycle will continue and be completed before I even come to look at SS again.
The longer term future if I proceed... Well let me say this. Willow is back in it, though that will take a few parts to set up. Ultimately as I see it the Sidestep Series would be a story of redemption, the restoration of hope, of being haunted by events past, present and future. And yes, damnit, love conquers everything... And not just for "Tara." There are some things in every reality that are meant to be and will be... and W/T is one of them as far as I am concerned.
I had to take Tara down to those murky depths (and hated myself for doing it!) so that she could raise herself out of them once more with a little help. That is what really interests me about this idea.

Hope that shows why I am messing with Tara! This and part II are just set ups for the potential spinoff... normal service will shortly be resumed - bear with me if you are not keen on the Sidestep.

Katharyn

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She's my always

Katharyn
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Katharyn » Wed Oct 03, 2001 10:38 am

Well here it part 29 and the second of the two Sidestep stories. Rather less humourous than the attempt I made at the fanfic challenge (the stories in that thread should cheer you up after I depress you mightily) though I have included some smoochies (and more) for relief...

Katharyn

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Title: The Beginnings Cycle – Sidestep II – The Interview (Currently Part 29)
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: More so than ever. This time I really want to know if anyone wants to see more of the Sidestep. If you do/don’t like it and don’t want to post anything on the board please e-mail me. katharynrosser@hotmail.com I really want to know.
Spoiler Warning: Limited spoilers for events up to and including “Restless.” Reference to the heritage that Tara believes is his her birthright, ultimately revealed in “Family.”
Summary: Following Sidestep Part I we actually get to the interview(s) and what follows them. You need to have read part I for this and therefore it will be no big surprise that this involves Tara’s interview for a summer temp job at the magic box and another Tara’s interview with someone else…
Disclaimer: I still don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc, etc. I am making zilch from this series of stories.
Rating: PG13 – but with non-explicit sexual activity (mainly by implication and reference.)
Couples: W/T as always.
Notes: This is officially now the longest part of a fic I have ever written. A real monster I hope you manage to make it through it. Back to Willow next I promise. She had been lacking lately! As mentioned in the endnotes to Sidestep I the whole Sidestep concept is my attempt at: a) playing around with characters I always wanted to and b) to setup a spin-off fic for after the Beginning Cycle is complete (the aftermath of Family.) I kind of like the concept and have several idea’s but am committed to completing The Beginning Cycle first. This is your chance to have your say. Willow will return to Sidestep if I pursue it rest assured of that – in fact it is critical to that Tara’s “redemption.” There will be virtually no crossover with the standard Buffyverse as in these teaser parts, it will be self contained (apart from the continuing dream theme) – but do you want to see more? (Bearing in mind there are only so many hours in the day and eventually I want to deal with the rest of Season 5 (post-Family) and the S5/S6 hiatus in another series, not to mention a W/T future – cripes I had never seen how much I intend to do written down before… aaah! I need to win the lottery and write full time!)
Thanks To: Anyone who can and bothers to make it right through this monster. Whoever it was I stole the line “She wasn’t exactly Dracula’s sister” from. It isn’t mine and I can’t remember whose it was (though it was a published work of fiction) – but it seemed to good a line to pass up. Kerry for some very astute observations that have been proved right about these two parts and L who isn’t Dracula’s sister either. Far from it.


The Beginnings Cycle

Sidestep II – The Interview

By

Katharyn Rosser.

INSTEP
She was alone. She was all alone.

She had never had… anyone. She had been close once though. Hadn’t she? Back before… Before what? What had happened to her? She knew it was important. She knew that it had altered her life beyond all measure. That people had been hurt and died. People she cared about. But she couldn’t remember who. She couldn’t remember what had happened and why she was so alone.

She was clutching a pillow to herself in a cruel parody of the embrace that she might give to a lover. Running her hands across the cotton case as if it were a person’s skin. The substitute love of a pillow. If it was supposed to be a comfort then all it really could be was a reminder of what she didn’t have. She thought that she might have been talking to it at one point… how lonely and sad did that make her? To be so alone that you talked to fluffy inanimate object.

And where was she anyway? It looked like a hotel room, but she couldn’t remember where it was. Or why she was here.

Whatever it was that had brought her to the room, it was a terrible purpose. She knew that she had accepted that she might never sleep in a bed again. And she didn’t care. Why should she? She had nothing to live for except… what?

What was that purpose? What was her driving force? The overwhelming passion that had brought her here? That had made her happy to make the ultimate sacrifice?

She didn’t know.

A telephone rang and somewhere there was an alarm clock and over them, with them… a voice. Soft, gentle. Loving. Welcoming someone to the day but the phone she had to get the phone -

Tara awoke with a start to the alarm and found herself still embracing Willow as the love of her life murmured good morning to her. The dream was gone… except for a terrible sadness for anyone that could feel… whatever it had been that the dream person had been feeling.

SIDESTEP
She wasn’t alone. She never had to be alone.

She had… someone. She couldn’t for the life of her remember the name of the person she was lying with. By the Goddess how embarrassing was that? To find yourself next to someone and not have any idea who they were. To have to ask them when they woke up… sorry we shared a bed and had smoochies but I still have no idea who you are. Or perhaps to stay quiet and hope that they would let it spill.

The woman she lay in the bed with was hidden by the quilt, given away on by the shock of red hair that lay beside her face on the pillow. They were in spoons, the other woman curled up in her embrace her hands on the woman’s soft flesh, their night clothes not seeming important last night after they had fed each other here in this bed. What had they eaten?

And where was this bed?

She didn’t recognise the room, though she instinctively knew it was hers. Possessions that she had not seen in three years littered it. Photographs. One with her bed mate in it as well. She ran her hands over the flesh of that woman, appreciating the soft warmth of her body and knowing that she knew it far more intimately than the lack of a name would suggest.

Eventually her almost subconscious motions stirred the other woman. What was her name? The woman shifted in the bed, under her hands but she kept the hands on her as the other one moved beneath them, exploring new area’s that she already knew. The woman murmured at her as an alarm clock started to chime somewhere… ‘Morning Tara love.’

Love?

She knows me, Tara thought. She knows me so well. And I know her. But I have no idea what her name is… I need to know her name. And then she was saying it. She was returning the greeting as somewhere else a telephone rang. She was about to name the person. She knew the name but could not remember it. Her subconscious was about to tell her. ‘Morning -’

She awoke with a start and found herself all alone, clasped against the pillow, the telephone ringing and the details of the dream were gone. All that remained was a desperate desire to find out a name.

That name.

INSTEP
Tara was awake. She had set the alarm to go off early, but knew that she didn’t need to get up yet. That way would lead to pacing and worn carpets. Besides how could she rush off and abandon her love to a lonely bed. She owed it to Willow to either get her up too, or to stay here with her in comfort for a little while longer. There really was no competition… the idea of anyone being alone in a bed seemed too horrible right now. Besides she was stiff with that overlong walk yesterday, which had been Willow’s fault.

So they lay there together and Tara knew that she would settle for this. Waking up with Willow in the mornings and falling asleep with her at night. That was what was important. That and knowing that they were in love. It was a wonderful positive in a day that had long threatened to be a bad one.

The interview.

But think of the benefits, she told herself. A couple of weeks work and she would be free for the entire rest of the vacation to be with Willow. That kind of had its attractions. After all she should treasure these days. She had, what, two more summer vacations to be with Willow before real life intruded. There would never be such a large amount of free time again in their lives. Not till they were old and grey anyway… and even that kind of had its attractions too.

Always assuming she made it past her next birthday able to face her love, but she was looking forward. She was seeing possibilities and they were good. That would probably change the nearer the birthday came. She would have a good long time to worry about that. But that was another day’s worries. This day had it’s own.

‘You should get up baby,’ Willow told her. ‘You need to get ready.’

Tara looked at the clock, it was still only twenty past the hour. Plenty of time yet. She said so.

Willow, though, got that grin on her face. The kind that promised… ‘I was kinda hoping I could take a shower with you… now that the dorm is empty.’

And suddenly Tara had to agree that she did need to get up, urgently, after all you had to be really clean to go to an interview. Didn’t you? Well you did now…

Possibly cleaner than she had ever been she arrived back in her room with Willow chasing her from the bathrooms in a fit of giggles. Good job that nearly everyone had gone home she thought as they collapsed to the bed, tickling, stroking and hugging in almost equal measure. Eventually though they did split and Willow lay atop the rumpled and now slightly damp covers watching her move around the room as naked as the day she had been born. As naked as Willow herself was.

First thing was the hair; get it into something resembling a shape rather than a Willow-tangled bundle stuck to her head. As she combed it through she looked in the mirror at Willow and knew that the lovely woman was not the only reason she was struggling to stay in Sunnydale.

It had never been said that she was expected to go home in the long summer vacation but it was almost a given, accepted as fact by everyone when she had left. Because of what was coming and the possibility it might come early. Besides it cost money for her to stay away from her family. Money they could not really afford.

Maybe without Willow she would not have fought it, but there was another reason not to go home. She might not be able to come back. At least if she stayed here then she would have the chance. And the time…

And so the job.

It was freedom. It was independence. What she chose to do with that freedom and independence was to stay here with Willow. She could not fail. Not with all that at stake. And thinking of that did not help nerves one jot.

She was lost in the mirror for that time, during those thoughts. Her hand suspended in mid-stroke in her long hair and suddenly Willow was no longer on the bed. She was stood behind her, her face hidden as it disappeared out the top of the mirror’s reflection. The brush was taken from her and Willow worked it through for her. Long, slow, strokes that sent a tiny spark of electricity through her every time the brush returned to make another motion. Only two people had ever brushed her hair for her and she didn’t want to lose the second one.

‘You look you are about to fall into the mirror, Nervous?’ Willow asked as she brushed.

‘Yes.’

‘You’ll be great,’ Willow reassured her as she finished with hair and sank down behind Tara to kiss her back, teasing there as if writing with her fingers – sending shudders through her. ‘And now you have to get ready,’ Willow continued briefly resting her chin on Tara’s shoulder before kissing her ear.

‘Yes.’

The journey to the shop passed by as if in a blur and Tara was relieved to see that she had actually beaten My Bogarty to the shop as well. When he pulled up in his car a few minutes after she arrived he commented on her punctuality and apologised for his own late arrival.

‘So Tara… have you ever interviewed for a job before?’ he asked her as he helped himself to a glass of fruit juice.

Though he offered her one she declined and immediately regretted it. Everyone had told her… accept the drink, even if you don’t want it. Classic interview faux pas. Oh dear, great start Tara… well done.

‘N-No’ she replied not sure if that was a good thing or not and she had known that her voice was going to let her down. It was a given really. He seemed not to pay any attention however. He knew her of old. Of pre-Willow days and she had been much worse then.

‘Me neither. Well I have never done an interview… there has never been a job before. This has always been a strictly one-man band. I was actually hoping you could tell me what to do. Last interview I was involved in was 1964 out at the old Jobson’s plant. Course that was before I got the lease on this place.’ He waved his hands around expressively at the dark shop. For some reason the place never seemed to be well lit – even when all the lights were on. It was tough to read the labels some times.

‘Sorry,’ she smiled at the problem. There she had been reading up on interview technique and he had less of a clue than she did.

‘That’s ok. Well I guess we should do something. I read you application again last night – want to know a secret?’ he asked.

‘If you w-want to tell me Mr Bogarty.’

‘You’re the only applicant – well the only one who has even stuck her nose through that door before the advert went out. What do you think of that?’ he asked a mischievous glint in his eyes.

‘W-well err - ’ She didn’t know what to think or say to that. It was almost saying that…

‘You’d have to screw up pretty badly not to get this job Tara. Especially as I know that you know your way around the shop. But the shop isn’t the problem. I know what is in the shop. Come with me.’ She followed as he led her out back into a room as large as the shop itself. Along all four walls stood banks of old shelf units. Tables, chests and boxes filled the centre of the room. ‘This is my problem. And I hope to make it yours. What do you think?’

What she thought was that she would have done this for free. To be let lose amongst all this… great stuff. She stepped from beside him and to the nearest table. A box of books, she opened the lid a little and top of the pile “Jancis’s Codex.” A famous, if a little obtuse, text that she hadn’t seen since her mother’s copy had been removed from the Maclay house following her death.

The box next to it. Tack – if she was any judge. Tourist and New Ager fodder. She dismissed it and pulled another box closer and came across a box of amulets that were all tangled – but each beautifully carved from bone – reeking of charms, spells, focus and magicks.

‘Straight to the good stuff eh?’ Mr Bogarty asked her.

She smiled. ‘You have some… wonderful things here. But even with all this – I am not sure it will take two full weeks.’

‘You shouldn’t try to talk yourself out of a pay day Tara. The job is yours, if you want it. But I think that it will take you all that time. I think you might end up spending a lot of time reading…?’ he asked.

‘Oh no -’

He cut her off. ‘Oh yes. And I don’t mind at all. I’ll even give you a staff discount – say 10% - on anything you dig out and want. There is two weeks pay for you – pretty good money if I say so myself. If you finish in less then you still get it. If it takes you a month then it’s still just the same money. Ok?

‘Oh yes… thank you… boss.’

He laughed at that. ‘Worked in that plant for thirty plus years and no one called me boss… I like it. Start tomorrow?’

‘Yes boss.’

SIDESTEP
Tara was only mildly disappointed to find that the alarm call she had requested was three minutes late, but despite the effects of that dream she had swung her legs out of the comfort of the bed within ten seconds of the call coming through. It was the part of her day that requested the greatest discipline of her. Each and every day she swore that one day it would kill her. But away from the discomfort of getting up she knew far, far better what would actually account for her life. Even sleeping on a cold concrete floor covered only by a coat she’d had troubles getting up – though it had been a while since she had failed to find a bed and it would, after today, be longer still. Or her next bed would be her grave… Possibly a spot where her body could rot in the basement of the Master’s lair.

Had she been here any day other than this one she would have gone for her accustomed run and used the opportunity to spy the lay of the land – and the options it presented to her. But not today. Today was too important. She needed to prepare and not risk the possibility of being “distracted” whilst out there. It didn’t matter that her explorations were so far limited to maps and the journey from the airport. Whilst maps never gave you the full story she would either have days to find her bearings or it wouldn’t matter anyway.

No… she thought be positive.

She would explore later when she had been confirmed in the position necessary to see justice done - finally. When she knew she had a reason for knowing anything other than where her enemy was located – and that fact was already firmly established in her mind. It was in the warehouse district, she had heard it was an old club. Besides she would only need to follow the stench of death if the time came.

Instead she went into a cycle of callisthenics designed to bring the practitioner to a state of bodily readiness. It wasn’t like she was muscle-bound fighting gal – she relied on her craft to achieve her objectives, not her body – but without a reasonably healthy body there was a limit to what the mind could achieve. And she couldn’t afford to be limited. The exercises had been recommended to her by Zabuto and though she despised the necessity to practice them, she recognised it. The year of poverty and hunger she had endured immediately after leaving home had starved her of some of her more womanly curves and she despised the toning that the exercise had added to that. She had been more than happy with her appearance, now she felt like some cheerleader fighting to keep her weight down. But weight wasn’t the issue. The magick took a calorific toll as well as a mental one and she was so reliant on it that she couldn’t put weight on if she tried. That always made her smile. The high school princesses who had tortured her during her school days would have killed for her metabolism.

Course now she knew far more interesting forms of torture. A little holy water, not too much of course, and the judicious use of a religious symbol. Those were the classics for dealing with vampires, but she had quickly found out that they were as susceptible to other methods as any human was. As a New York gang leader had told her “Kick ‘em in the nuts. It works for me.” What was that? Eighteen months ago? Dead for sixteen of those. Always assuming they had nuts… And so she had learned those methods too… by trial and error. She had become quite sophisticated though she never let herself enjoy it.

She had also learned by being on the receiving end of attempts to extract information. She knew that she could break a human as easily as she could a vampire… though she had never tried and no desire to start.

She knew because she had been broken. And it had cost lives.

But that was by the by. She wouldn’t allow herself to care. If she cared then she would falter. And if she faltered…

If she faltered she would die.

And she couldn’t die until she had accomplished the only thing that mattered.

Justice.

With such thoughts boiling through her head she hardly noticed the passage of the routine and, sweating lightly after half an hour of exertion, she showered quickly and rang down for breakfast – a meal more substantial than the sandwich she had selected the night before. She might need her strength before the morning was out as it would be best to make the, final, move during daylight hours should she fail the interview. That way there might still be a way out.

She was unconcerned as the waiter ogled her in her underwear making his delivery. Poor guy must be younger than she was and already stuck in a job like this. But she had done jobs to survive. When his eyes lingered on her body she didn’t appreciate it, but she understood it. She knew she wasn't exactly Dracula’s sister – had exploited the fact on more than one occasion when there had been no other way to achieve her goals. It didn’t make her feel good to do that – but if that was the extent of it, not feeling good, then she had no concerns about the tactic.

Actually, she had it on pretty good authority that Dracula didn’t have a sister – at least not one who had joined him in unlife. Now there was a vampire she would like to actually meet. To converse with, to find out what lay behind the legend. To match his reputed “parlour tricks” against her own skills. All she had known about vampires three years ago had been movies about the “dark prince.” And now…

He was a relatively low body-count bloodsucker by all accounts and not interested in world domination or anything much besides his own games and pleasures. She could tolerate that long enough to learn what made him so successful. The psychological aspect of the hunt fascinated her – though her own methods were more direct. But she wanted to learn.

Then she would dust him like the rest.

Maybe one day he would come to visit this Hellmouth and it’s town. If she had survived her mission of revenge… no… justice… it was justice… then she would continue her work with him – and every other vampire that was unfortunate enough to cross her path. She would not fail. You didn’t have to be a Slayer to deal with vampires… indeed it was said that one Slayer had already been overmatched by the Master. Another one who required justice. She would deliver for that one too. What was that? Two slayers, one watcher, countless people who had helped her and paid the price. Thousands of people who had become meals. Her family… She owed it to all of them.

Reputation meant little to her. Dracula’s, the Master’s, those slayer’s… none of them. If it had made any impression on her then she would have accepted the death of her family and never chosen to seek her brand of justice beyond those vampires immediately responsible. She would never have imagined the death of the self-styled “Master” at her hand. She would never have contemplated working for the person who she was now going to try and impress into employing her.

She hated showing off. It was against her basic nature and once she had been painfully shy, but she could barely remember that girl. She was a stranger to the person she was now. Someone she had heard about maybe, but who she couldn’t believe had ever really existed. To get by in the shadowy world that she and her enemies occupied you had to make your own reputation. It defined who you were and what you could do. She had been forced to overcome that disinclination to display her capabilities. You couldn’t do this and be shy, retiring and withdrawn – that had faded along with her innocence, as her family lay bloodless in that barn. She had done many things before an audience that she would once have never dared to even attempt in private. And now she would have to do so again. She just needed the tools and the “volunteer.” She was sure she would impress. They had never seen anything quite like her. No one had seen anything quite like her for hundreds of years.

And once she had the job then she would go back to her usual methods. Silent, stealthy and deadly. Unless there was a message to be sent…

The only message she was interested in sending though was to the Master.

His time was almost up.

The nerves were back once more, fluttering around in her stomach like moths. That would never do. She ate the grapefruit, cereal and toast – drained the orange juice and then sat, unclothed, in the middle of the floor. Closing her eyes and accepting the thoughts that rushed through her mind. Some might have regarded it as meditation if they had seen her doing that, but she knew different. It was just preparation for the day that was to come. Plans, possibilities, contingencies. The ideal, the worst case. Incantations and silent commands. The present and the future Burning memories of the past.

And a fleeting memory of that dream she had endured. One in which she was not alone. In which she had been held by a woman with flame red hair. Whose name she could not remember. Now was not the time to get sentimental… but what was the name. In her dream she might have been about to say it, as if she had known… but it was gone.

She put that aside and continued with her mental preparations – adding in her responses to the likely questions that would be asked of her. And not just questions. It was certain there would be a practical. Fortunately she had one planned. One that was suitably impressive but would not overly tax her abilities – substantial as they were.

Five hundred heartbeats later she opened her eyes and stood. Put on the carefully laid out jacket, skirt and blouse and packed her few possessions, carefully protecting the photographs in the pockets of her case, then finally pulled the protective emblems from the walls. She would not be back here tonight – whatever else happened. Once she stepped inside City Hall her future would be changed. When she crossed that threshold she would be labelled by those she already counted as her enemies. Whether she succeeded or not in the interview – they would know who she was. And if she failed then it would be time to meet her fate.

Funny really. That didn’t scare her. Not the prospect of failure. Not her intention to take the fight to her enemy to try and deliver justice – even if she had to do it alone. Nor the very definite likelihood that it would cost her life – and maybe not quickly either. It could be drawn out for days – weeks even. What scared her was the interview. She’d had lots of “jobs” but never been interviewed. She’d undertaken many tasks and functions for people – and things that weren’t people in any sense at all - but never actually had to smarten up and present herself like this. That was what was scaring her now.

Finally she pulled a seat around and sat facing the door. She had fifteen minutes still to wait for Deputy-Mayor Allan Finch. Fancy title, but seemingly his bosses errand boy. She could be patient though. She was very good at that. She had waited. She had bided her time. She had taken the time to learn what she needed to. She had carried out tasks that would once have made her feel less than human to support her development and her monetary needs. But then she wasn't fully human was she? Time was just an asset like any other. And she avoided wasting any of it. She lived her life as she had to. To her life was a fatal disease. Death could come at any moment. She intended to make use of the last moments of her life… whenever they happened to actually be.

She sensed Allan’s approach even before she heard his footsteps. His mind was a swirling mass of fears immediately recognisable here where there were few others to clutter her perceptions. He even sounded nervous as he came to her door, hesitated – no doubt at the still closed curtains – and then knocked.

She picked up her case, the bag, swept her eyes over the room to ensure she had not missed anything then opened the door and swept by him. ‘Morning Allan,’ was her concession to civility. She didn’t comment on his excellent punctuality. That was not something to be praised. It should be expected.

‘Morning Miss Maclay. Ready?’

The respect. The fear was still there as it had been last night. Her hard earned reputation may well have preceded her. But to inspire fear… that was never something she had looked for, or wanted. At least not amongst humans.

The impression that she had tried to give, it had become distorted.

Or maybe not… she thought to herself as she swept passed Allan. Maybe I have been distorted. Maybe I have gone too far. Maybe I am going too far.

But maybe too far, was just far enough. There was no turning back. Not now.

She let herself into the back of the limo and waited for Allan to drive her to their destination, once again engaging in small talk whilst her brain was elsewhere. Eventually though he seemed to realise he did not have her attention and shut up. She was almost grateful as she examined the route they were taking and the signs of the decay of this town. Award winning – or so said the entry in the 1985 guidebook she had checked on the flight – Sunnydale showed little sign of it’s more beautiful and peaceful past.

Every window had heavy metal shutters. It seemed like every other wall was daubed, if not with graffiti then with the evidence of violence. Dried blood, police markers and tape, missing persons posters and here and there bullet holes. Maybe she would be doing the people a service when she inflicted her own brand of justice on their problems. The living would benefit as the dead were allowed to rest. Maybe.

They slowed and parked directly in front of the doors to City Hall. This time she allowed the Deputy Mayor to open the door for her. This time she wanted to create the right impression on anyone who might be watching – and she seriously doubted that it would be just her prospective employer who would be doing the observing. Let them think she stood on ceremony. Let them think that manners mattered to her. Let them think that she felt she was superior.

Let them underestimate me, she thought. Only at the end will they get the true measure of Tara Maclay.

It was with a rush of disgust that she realised that the security in the lobby was a vampires – not even bothering to disguise his nature from her – or anyone else who walked in. It might be wearing a suit but it was a blood-sucker nonetheless. But why would the nature of the security be hidden? In Sunnydale everyone knew what was going on – at least they did now that it was too late, when awareness could no longer help them. But it would not survive her interview for this job - either in this post or in unlife. Of that she was certain. And it wouldn’t have to step over the conspicuous point on the carpet that would mark the furthest progression of sunlight into the building to get dusted. She would deal with it all. She had found her volunteer and fixed it’s location in her mind.

For later reference.

Allan took her right up to the destination floor where a joiner was fitting replacement doors to a frame. Leaning against an opposite wall was the reason. Someone had not bothered to try to manipulate the lock to access the office – instead choosing to go right through the door to get into the room – which, as she was led inside without a customary knock by Allan, bore no other sign of a struggle or a disturbance.

‘Mr Mayor – sir?’ Allan said to the figure facing away from his desk in a swivelling chair. The figure did not turn around. Allan hesitated. The fear was back and it was far, far, greater now. And it was not of her. ‘Mr Mayor, this is Miss Maclay.’

The figure in the chair spun around and was not at all what Tara had expected. The man’s reputation did of course precede him and she had seen him on television but this...? With the rising of the Master, Mayor Wilkins had been forced to be reveal himself as a force to be reckoned with just to survive and people gossiped – so did demons and she had spoken to several about him – only some of which had survived the conversation. The expansive smile though, that was plastered over his face was disarming, pleasant and seemed entirely genuine. Of course it could all be for effect. What she had heard about this man did not bear repeating in most company and the most pleasant description she could recall having heard was “snake.”

‘Miss Maclay welcome to Sunnydale – can I call you Tara? I think it so important that we get off on the right foot here – after all you may be joining our merry band and I like a first name basis in office, right Allan?’

‘Oh absolutely sir,’ the deputy replied, not at all suggesting that he would dream of calling this man Richard – let alone Dick.

If he was even still a man. His aura was dark and like trying to read book through muddy water. The words were there but there was no telling what they were. The mayor looked around as if he could feel her trying to sense him. Then the smile was back again.

Tara tried to smile back and knew she just came off as nervous – she couldn’t lapse into timidity. Not now, not so close. The Mayor waved Allan out of the office and also motioned to the joiner.

‘Gerry, would you excuse me and Tara – we have some sensitive business to discuss. Mint?’ he asked her as the elderly joiner packed his tools without looking at her.

‘N-no thank y-you Mr Mayor.’ She replied, cringing as her stammer made its first appearance since the months after the death of her family.

‘You have a bit of a speech problem there?’ he asked as if just curious but clearly measuring her all the same.

‘When-n I’m n-nervous. A b-bit’ Tara replied. ‘I thought it w-was better.’ And she had. She hadn’t stammered for a long, long time. Well over two years now, and here it was back again.

‘Don’t be nervous, your young – starting out on a whole new portion of your life – which I can promise you will be very, very exciting.’ She could not doubt his sincerity or the assurance.

‘But p-possibly short?’ she asked him pointedly.

He smiled that disarming smile again and made no attempt to conceal the truth about himself. ‘I remember when I went for my first job. Actually it was with Gerry’s great-grandfather – that man taught me the fundamental principles of building. Strong foundations and the best materials.’ She did not miss his reference to her strength – or potential lack of it. ‘If you have the right materials you can build something that will last oh – a hundred years. But that’s why we are here isn’t it – to see what you are made of. So what do you think of my town?’ he asked her.

‘Very n-nice. At least it would have been five years ago. Before someone came to try and take it away from you – or should I say came back?’ Bold. That was the impression she wanted to create. Which would work great if she could keep her voice under control.

Her implied insult didn’t seem to phase him – though he did stop, looking at her like a hawk a pigeon. Considering. ‘The very fact that you took the fact that Gerry’s great-grandfather taught me my first trade so calmly tells me that you either think I am aging well or something strange is going on. You know what you’d be right either way.’ He laughed again. ‘But obviously you are aware of at least some of my problems. Sure you wouldn’t like a mint – I promise it isn’t a test I won’t consider it rude, look.’ He showed her the mint on his own tongue he had been sucking between sentences.

‘No thank you.’ He was charming she had to give him that. With only a few words he had calmed her – and with nothing but the words… some of which might be considered a threat. She would have felt any mystical effects – though she could not read him at all through that muddied aura.

‘Ok then – take one for later. Win, lose or draw you might as well have something to take out of here.’ He pushed the bowl forward, refusing to take no for an answer. ‘Go on.’

She took a mint.

‘Take two. Go on. One calorie – go on,’ he insisted with all the menace of her grandfather offering her toffee.

She did take them. Though she had no intention of losing and didn’t know what a draw would mean. Perhaps that she would fail the interview but keep her life. At least until this afternoon.

‘Good girl.’

She looked at him.

‘Sorry. Sorry. Young lady. You know that is one of the things I have the most problems with. The latest terminology. Sometimes I just lapse into my old bad habits – when I am excited. And I am excited by the way. Your application was quite impressive and your… ah… references were impeccable. But I guess the question really is what can you do for me?’ Right down to business with the drop of a hat.

‘I’m here to help you solve some of your problems. Blood-sucking problems.’ She replied glad to be able to address the issue – it was her strength after all. Her determination. Her abilities. Her will. All were devoted to that end – and the justice that would bring. Finally.

‘And I’m guessing, well actually hoping, you don’t mean mosquitoes young lady,’ he came and sat on the edge of his desk before her seat.

‘No. Vampires… one particular vampire really but vampires generally,’ she replied.

‘You know about that so called Master?’ he asked, obviously slightly impressed probably by the distance she had travelled to be here. But she had come much further than her résumé suggested. She had been east long before she had come back west. And even that was not was not the extent of her journey from the girl she had been to the woman she was today.

‘I would be a fool to come here not knowing – to a mystical convergence. Or not knowing the rumours about why you built this town and how the Master is interfering with those plans.’ She said, trying to conceal the venom in her voice as she mentioned that vampires name. ‘I understand he cost you your Ascension.’

The mayor didn’t rise to the bait and instead continued to focus on her. Fair enough – it was his interview. ‘You really don’t like him do you? It’s personal not just what you do?’ It was a rhetorical question as it was plain to see in her. ‘But personal grudges aren’t going to get this done. You don’t see me obsessing about him. It’s like wearing blinkers – do you ride Tara?’

She nodded, remembering the horse she had once had. Before…

He continued. ‘If you’re wearing blinkers then you can’t see the entire picture. Avoiding distractions is good Tara, but sometimes you need to see the whole picture. This is not a one-task job Tara – the things you might be asked to do as my assistant are many and varied – and sometimes not very pleasant - I admit that. It will not be all about that “Master.” If that is all you can think about then you should leave now and take your mints with my blessing – but I hope you don’t because, gosh, I like you already. I have a feeling about you Tara. A good one.’ He smiled again. ‘And the perks are great.’

‘Such as?’ Tara asked, sensitive to just how narrow her focus was, how he was reading her. She had no interest in perks. She could carry everything she wanted or needed in the world but she would hear his offer. It was only polite. And if he suspected how narrow her focus really was…

‘Easy but varied hours, a nice place to live, assisting me in reaching the next opportunity for my ascension, helping kill that so-called Master and make Sunnydale a place where people can walk the streets at night without fear of being bitten – by vampires at least.’ He laughed again. ‘And most importantly a friend. I’m guessing you haven’t had a friend in a long time.’

And that last… How true was that? Maybe he had a touch of the empathic ability she had always used to great effect. Though she wasn’t sure she had any interest in being his friend. But if he wanted to be hers then she would let that happen and she would use him to accomplish both of their aims. If he wanted to be a demon then that was just fine. She was already on that path herself and she didn’t have to wait thirty seven years to do it when the next alignment of the planets and the mystical forces occurred. What would Sunnydale look like then?

Tara mused on that thought as the Mayor reached into his draw and pulled out a stake clearly freshly carved. He’d probably been whittling. He looked like a closet whittler and she had found it to be relaxing herself at times during the last few years. Course it was also good for developing close, precise control – whittling without using your hands.

‘So young lady, show me what you can do for me.’ All business. No fun or jokes in his voice now. He placed the stake on the desk in front of her. With no volunteer provided he was clearly challenging her to locate and deliver one herself – as her reputation no doubt suggested she could.

Tara looked him in the eyes and never wavered from that gaze as she incanted under her breath. She didn’t turn to look behind her as the vampire from the lobby materialized, landing from his two-inch fall to the floor with a slight thud.

‘What-’ was all it managed to say.

The stake flew off the top of the desk and over her shoulder angling upwards. The next thing she heard was the vampire combust and turn to dust. Their eyes still hadn’t left each others. Not until he reacted and gave her a brief round of applause.

‘Very good. Excellent. But was that really necessary? I just had this carpet cleaned. At least you could have warned me – I would have laid down plastic.’ The mayor asked seeming impressed in spite of himself. His reference to the cleaning was no doubt a joke as it had been his challenge.

‘Have I got the job?’ Tara asked by way of reply then again incanted, cleansing the carpet speck by speck – a steady stream filling the empty glass on the desk.

The mayor rounded his desk and squatted behind her chair, licked a finger and dabbed it to the carpet and found nothing to betray her thoroughness, stood and came back around Tara and pulled out a moist towelette and cleaned his finger before neatly and carefully folding the disposable paper and placing it in the bin. He picked up the glass and studied it. ‘Very impressive – shows a lot of control to lift the fine particles of dust like that. I could keep you around just to do the cleaning.’ He laughed. ‘And yes the demonstration itself was also very impressive. You are exactly as advertised. But you do have other talents I take it?’

‘Yes.’

‘Good, good. We’ll explore them later, right now I have an appointed with Principal Snyder of the High School, but I would love to have brunch with you… if you would like to wait for me. I can see no need to see any further candidates. Welcome to the team. The winning team Tara. Our team. You and me Tara were going to take on that so-called Master and see some vengeance gets done.’ He came around and shook her hand and she let him. He was her employer – but he wasn’t her motivation. Revenge couldn’t be her motivation, but let him think it drove her if he liked. It was simply justice, whatever the price was for that.

It couldn’t be just revenge.

INSTEP
‘Mmmmmn,’ Willow moved up against her lover and her actions promised snuggles in celebration. If not more after what had been a good day.

Tara wasn’t so sure though. ‘I have work tomorrow love.’

‘So you keep saying, and I know why. I’m so proud of you baby,’ Willow told her, tightening the embrace around her torso even as a hand started to wander into interesting places. ‘I just want to show you how proud I am,’ she continued with mischief in her voice. And not a little promise.

‘I have to get my beauty sleep, I want to be rested tomorrow when I start in my new job.’ Tara was mocking herself now. She had been on cloud nine since she had got the job – even if it hadn’t been a classic interview. And, initially through pride and excitement, she had been mentioning the job every time she could get it into a sentence – or so it had seemed. But now… now she was just teasing.

And being teased. Hands in very interesting places.

‘Your beautiful enough for me Tara,’ Willow told her, continuing her caresses. ‘And besides you turned me down last night as well…’ Willow looked up pouting. ‘If I were suspicious I would think that you didn’t want me anymore… now you got your new job and all.’

Tara rose to the teasing. ‘I’ll always want you. Always. Besides I seem to remember a shower this morning…’

‘Moments snatched…’ Willow dismissed the encounter.

And Tara raised her eyebrows at the phrasing before Willow continued.

‘This is what I want… always this.’ Willow pulled herself closer still and it seemed that their whole bodies were connected. Which was no bad thing.

‘Always?’ Tara asked, knowing the answer.

‘Always.’

SIDESTEP
She had the job and she had celebrated with the last few dollars that she had – at least until tomorrow. A Chinese takeout – she hadn’t had one since New York. And now she was going to bed. What else was there to do? Her new employer had left her in this apartment and she hoped that she had given the impression that she liked it. He had seemed enthusiastic during and after their brunch together – even if that little toad of a school principal had been along for the first half an hour. Snyder had probed, scathingly it had seemed, into her educational background and she had lied claiming to have finished high school but not revealing where.

It didn’t matter that she had lied. The Mayor already knew the truth and Snyder was so far under her employer’s thumb that he could be a map pin. He wouldn’t make waves or try and check on her – and if he did then there were ways to convince him that he shouldn’t further pursue the matter without involving her employer. If she had a problem she would solve it herself. That was her function. To solve problems – not to create them – and Snyder was hardly worthy of the description. The Mayor though had let him ask his questions – seemingly to find out whether she would buckle. Whether she could evade convincingly. Employed she might be but not yet trusted – not totally.

That might not have been it. It wasn’t a question of trust. The Mayor seemed to trust her in as much as he knew that should she prove unworthy of that trust that he would remove her from employment. Anyone’s employment. He knew that. She knew it. That allowed trust to build – of a kind. No he was just measuring her. It was a kind of probation and she could understand that. In this “business” you couldn’t afford to trust reputations. You relied on results. That was all that mattered. And she had yet to show any. Fair enough.

He was very… nice. Enthusiastic, supportive and generous. But knowing what he was made that seem hollow and she knew that she would have to watch her step in the next few weeks. She would have to maintain the flashy shows of her abilities that she had shown in the interview rather than using the basic tried and trusted methods she had developed over the last few years. Tried and trusted they might be – but they were not exactly “showy” or convincing. They were simple and effective. That was all that mattered to her, but that would not quite be enough in the first few weeks here. First he had to respect her abilities. Then she would show him results.

Though she didn’t start her job until tomorrow – with added responsibility for the Mayor’s security after she had dusted one of his more able vampiric lieutenants – the perks had already commenced. The apartment was already registered in her name as was a city hall credit card, the invitation to another lunch with him tomorrow – her duties allowing. He wasn’t trying to buy her, that was clear. He was just trying to make her comfortable. But that was entirely the wrong tactic for either of them. All she cared about was in her cases and she had not fully unpacked them. Would not unpack them even if she started to feel safe. Because in Sunnydale she could not be safe. She could not feel comfortable. No one could. To feel those things would just be an illusion that could get her killed before her task was complete.

She would probably stay in this place. After all it had everything she needed and no less than two acceptable alternative exit points should things go wrong. You always had a spare if circumstances allowed. “Where things are in doubt ensure you have a way out.” Who had told her that? She couldn’t remember… but suspected it was someone in Chicago. So many people who had helped her in return for her services. And nearly all of them were dead.

She was not the only person who could think of contingencies though. Hence the spare. She had already tested both. The bathroom window that had a strong waste water pipe alongside it that went down to a ledge that could followed to a low roof and the alley. And was the obvious escape route. No doubt that would be blocked by any group with half a brain between them. But the sheer drop from the flat roof outside the main living area… For most people such a fall would be dangerous, if not lethal, but with her abilities it offered a clear exit to the main street that might restrain pursuers and it was a way that few could follow and fewer still would anticipate.

She had scouted out the area surrounding the apartment and was generally pleased with what she found. The alleyways offered excellent prospects for both evading pursuit and for luring the typical brainless bloodsucker to its fate with her ‘weak little lady’ act. And all within shouting distance of where she was staying. It was within four minutes run of City Hall and her duties. Tactically there was little she could do surpass it with the main road that ran out front being also on the most direct route of her enemies from their lair into town.

But it was no more home than last nights hotel room. No more home than the whore filled hotels of Chicago, than the concrete floor of the abandoned office building in LA, than the sewers and the park benches of New York. No more home than the empty shell of what had once had that title – now that her family was not there.

She had no home.

Home was where someone was waiting for you.

And she was alone. There was no one waiting. Never had been. Never would be.

Always alone.

Always.

She curled herself up against a new pillow. She could not sleep now without that comfort. She needed something and a pillow was all she had. Maybe she would dream – maybe in the dreams she might have something else in her life other than justice and serving one evil to overcome another.

Maybe in her dreams she would find love.

Maybe in her dreams she would find that woman with the red hair.

IN AND OUT OF STEP
They awoke at the same moment in the early morning hours, separated by more than distance, but not by time. And both started to cry.

One for what her dreams had shown her she was missing – what might have been.

One for what her dreams had shown her she might not have had – also what might have been.

One had someone there to comfort her, to ask her what was wrong and rock her back to sleep when she could not explain it.

One just had a pillow to cling to and dampen with her tears and the feeling that it wasn’t fair that in one dream there was more happiness than she had ever known.


------------------
She's my always

IP: Logged

Forrister
Willowhand


Posts: 413
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 03, 2001 14:26               
This is a worthy successor to the first part, as I fully expected it to be. My only disappointment is that there is no more of the Sidestep story just yet. When it does arrive somewhere a ways down the track I will be following it like a wogdog on a fairy's tail. I doff my crest and offer it up as a token.

[Forrister plucks the remaining two plumes from her helmet and lays them at Katharyn's feet.]


Pulchritudem crea, tamen tenebras celebra.
(Create beauty, yet celebrate darkness.)

IP: Logged

lurker
unregistered posted October 03, 2001 15:27              
Hello lurker, please read the FAQ before you post again. Criticism is fine, but please take care how you phrase it in the future.

[This message has been edited by WillTara (edited October 04, 2001).]

IP: Logged

Zahir
Gay Now!


Posts: 1238
Registered: Nov 2000
posted October 03, 2001 15:59               
Yo! Lurker!

If you have specific criticisms, that is one thing. But that was nothing but a flame.

Katharyn, I'm at work. Later, at home, I'll read your story. Personally, I'm very much looking forward to it...

Lurker--learn some manners.

Okay, now I've read the story. I'm quite intrigued about this (but then, I've a taste for A.U.s). And more, I'm touched by the suffering of the Sidestep Tara, and hoping somehow, somewhen she finds her Willow. My only complaint--entirely personal--is that so much of the story goes on inside the characters' heads and not enough, for my taste, in between the characters themselves. But this is a matter of taste. The story is still far above average, and I look forward to each new chapter!

------------------
"O let my name be in the Book of Love.
If it be there, I care not of
That other book Above...
Strike it out! Or write it in anew.
But let it be in the Book of Love!"
--Omar Kyam

[This message has been edited by Zahir (edited October 03, 2001).]

IP: Logged

IP: LoggedForristerWillowhand


Posts: 413
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 03, 2001 14:26               
This is a worthy successor to the first part, as I fully expected it to be. My only disappointment is that there is no more of the Sidestep story just yet. When it does arrive somewhere a ways down the track I will be following it like a wogdog on a fairy's tail. I doff my crest and offer it up as a token.

[Forrister plucks the remaining two plumes from her helmet and lays them at Katharyn's feet.]


Pulchritudem crea, tamen tenebras celebra.
(Create beauty, yet celebrate darkness.)

IP: Logged

posted October 03, 2001 14:26                This is a worthy successor to the first part, as I fully expected it to be. My only disappointment is that there is no more of the Sidestep story just yet. When it does arrive somewhere a ways down the track I will be following it like a wogdog on a fairy's tail. I doff my crest and offer it up as a token.

[Forrister plucks the remaining two plumes from her helmet and lays them at Katharyn's feet.]


Pulchritudem crea, tamen tenebras celebra.
(Create beauty, yet celebrate darkness.)
IP: Loggedlurkerunregistered posted October 03, 2001 15:27              


Hello lurker, please read the FAQ before you post again. Criticism is fine, but please take care how you phrase it in the future.

[This message has been edited by WillTara (edited October 04, 2001).]

IP: Logged

posted October 03, 2001 15:27               Hello lurker, please read the FAQ before you post again. Criticism is fine, but please take care how you phrase it in the future.

[This message has been edited by WillTara (edited October 04, 2001).]IP: LoggedZahirGay Now!


Posts: 1238
Registered: Nov 2000
posted October 03, 2001 15:59               


Yo! Lurker!

If you have specific criticisms, that is one thing. But that was nothing but a flame.

Katharyn, I'm at work. Later, at home, I'll read your story. Personally, I'm very much looking forward to it...

Lurker--learn some manners.

Okay, now I've read the story. I'm quite intrigued about this (but then, I've a taste for A.U.s). And more, I'm touched by the suffering of the Sidestep Tara, and hoping somehow, somewhen she finds her Willow. My only complaint--entirely personal--is that so much of the story goes on inside the characters' heads and not enough, for my taste, in between the characters themselves. But this is a matter of taste. The story is still far above average, and I look forward to each new chapter!

------------------
"O let my name be in the Book of Love.
If it be there, I care not of
That other book Above...
Strike it out! Or write it in anew.
But let it be in the Book of Love!"
--Omar Kyam

[This message has been edited by Zahir (edited October 03, 2001).]

IP: Logged

posted October 03, 2001 15:59                Yo! Lurker!

If you have specific criticisms, that is one thing. But that was nothing but a flame.

Katharyn, I'm at work. Later, at home, I'll read your story. Personally, I'm very much looking forward to it...

Lurker--learn some manners.

Okay, now I've read the story. I'm quite intrigued about this (but then, I've a taste for A.U.s). And more, I'm touched by the suffering of the Sidestep Tara, and hoping somehow, somewhen she finds her Willow. My only complaint--entirely personal--is that so much of the story goes on inside the characters' heads and not enough, for my taste, in between the characters themselves. But this is a matter of taste. The story is still far above average, and I look forward to each new chapter!

------------------
"O let my name be in the Book of Love.
If it be there, I care not of
That other book Above...
Strike it out! Or write it in anew.
But let it be in the Book of Love!"
--Omar Kyam

[This message has been edited by Zahir (edited October 03, 2001).]

Katharyn
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Forrister » Wed Oct 03, 2001 11:26 am

This is a worthy successor to the first part, as I fully expected it to be. My only disappointment is that there is no more of the Sidestep story just yet. When it does arrive somewhere a ways down the track I will be following it like a wogdog on a fairy's tail. I doff my crest and offer it up as a token.

[Forrister plucks the remaining two plumes from her helmet and lays them at Katharyn's feet.]


Pulchritudem crea, tamen tenebras celebra.
(Create beauty, yet celebrate darkness.)

Forrister
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby lurker » Wed Oct 03, 2001 12:27 pm

Hello lurker, please read the FAQ before you post again. Criticism is fine, but please take care how you phrase it in the future.

[This message has been edited by WillTara (edited October 04, 2001).]

lurker
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Zahir » Wed Oct 03, 2001 12:59 pm

Yo! Lurker!

If you have specific criticisms, that is one thing. But that was nothing but a flame.

Katharyn, I'm at work. Later, at home, I'll read your story. Personally, I'm very much looking forward to it...

Lurker--learn some manners.

Okay, now I've read the story. I'm quite intrigued about this (but then, I've a taste for A.U.s). And more, I'm touched by the suffering of the Sidestep Tara, and hoping somehow, somewhen she finds her Willow. My only complaint--entirely personal--is that so much of the story goes on inside the characters' heads and not enough, for my taste, in between the characters themselves. But this is a matter of taste. The story is still far above average, and I look forward to each new chapter!

------------------
"O let my name be in the Book of Love.
If it be there, I care not of
That other book Above...
Strike it out! Or write it in anew.
But let it be in the Book of Love!"
--Omar Kyam

[This message has been edited by Zahir (edited October 03, 2001).]

Zahir
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby WiggleStick » Wed Oct 03, 2001 1:58 pm

I only have one thing to say I LOVE THIS FIC!
I hope that you write the Sidestep series because it seems cool from the little glimpse we have had. The Beginning series is one of the best fics I've read.

[This message has been edited by WiggleStick (edited October 03, 2001).]

WiggleStick
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby nika » Wed Oct 03, 2001 3:35 pm

I don't know why anyone would think that this is a bad fic. To each his own I suppose, personally Katharyn for what it's worth...I love it. It's not good writing, it's excellent writing. A great story line, compelling and intelligent dialogues, interesting out of canon propositions and whats more important scenes and lines that go straight to the heart. Keep it up, hope to read more very soon.
nika
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Brynn » Wed Oct 03, 2001 4:10 pm

I really enjoy this fic ... the sidestep is interesting -- though I can't wait for you to get back to original story and of course willow!!!
Brynn
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby xita » Wed Oct 03, 2001 8:49 pm

Lurking person. Know that this sort of comment is not welcome here. Respect is our number one rule. Given your lurking status, know that we have your IP and this is your only warning.
xita
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby mollyig » Thu Oct 04, 2001 4:38 am

Oh Poor Alternate Tara, that was so sad, Katharyn, and so incredibly good!

------------------
"Adding up the total of a love that's true multiply life by the power of two"
- Emily Saliers (Indigo Girls)

mollyig
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby WiccanBex » Thu Oct 04, 2001 8:27 am

i'm really enjoying this story... and i'm just really glad i didn't read the flame that was posted on the previous page.

i don't like reading stuff like that, so thanks for deleting the post before i had the misfortune of stumbling upon it

------------------
"if you throw a stone, something's gonna shatter somewhere. We're all so fragile, we're all so scared."
nocturnal review site

WiccanBex
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Katharyn » Thu Oct 04, 2001 10:34 am

Thankyou for your feedback and support everyone. Just to confirm that the Sidestep will be done up into a series, but only after the completion of the BC.
As to the other unfortunate matter, thankyou Xita and WillTara as well as those who expressed a different viewpoint. Unfortunately I did see what was posted before it was edited out (I was about to log off but chose to check Pens one more time, more fool me) but other than saying that I choose to keep silent about it.
The next post will likely be a double. The first will be a redraft of the fanfic challenge fic I submitted yesterday (just brought more within this cycle as it is ideal for the summer vacation.) If you have read that already don't worry about reading it here again the changes are not that big. The other - I don't know yet I still have to write it. Look for it Saturday or Sunday.

Thanks again.
Katharyn

------------------
She's my always

Katharyn
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby rocketdyke » Thu Oct 04, 2001 6:39 pm

guess i missed what the lurker wrote, but just so you know, kath, you need me to kung fu anyone's ass, you just say the word.

i think this is a great story, and the new alternate tara is really interesting. im eager to see where you take it. thanks so much for all the time you put into this.

xox michele

rocketdyke
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby the_slayers_girl » Fri Oct 05, 2001 4:31 pm

Ive been reading this fic from the beginning and I dont think that I have said anything about it yet....in all truthfulness i dont remember
Anyways I just wanted to tell you that your story is amazing. You are wonderful at writing both Tara and Willow. Thank you for the pleasure of reading this story and I look foward to reading more

Cait

the_slayers_girl
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby willow-phile » Sat Oct 06, 2001 9:48 am

Wow...that's all I can say...wow...I've read quite a few W/T fics, and I'm amazed at how well you can get into their heads...wow...you rock...keep it coming...wow

------------------
Hello...gay now...

willow-phile
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby tommo » Sat Oct 06, 2001 9:46 pm

Katharyn, I really liked the opening chapters of your fic, and said so in feedback. You tended to get inside the heads of Willow and Tara successfully, building us up to the culmination of their attraction and the burgeoning relationship.

However, I have to admit that I'm finding the new path your fic has taken a little confusing. The AU is fine per se, but mixed with the continuing storyline of your present fic, it seems a little difficult for me to follow. I think perhaps that the AU fic would work in a rather more coherent manner if it was separated from the current story and given a life of its own to grown and expand.

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"She looked across at Willow, whose face was filled with light. She had never felt so calm and happy, and strong..." ~ Unseen: Door To Alternity

tommo
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Katharyn » Sun Oct 07, 2001 12:49 am

Rest assured Ruth that the those parts are the only sighting of the AU that will be seen in this series. It was really just a teaser to see if people liked it. The AU will only be followed up in a seperate series after this cycle is complete.


Katharyn

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She's my always

Katharyn
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby tommo » Sun Oct 07, 2001 12:57 am

LOL I'm not worried katharyn. I just felt like your AU diverted reader attention from the main thrust of your fic, that's all. Well, it did mine anyway.

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"She looked across at Willow, whose face was filled with light. She had never felt so calm and happy, and strong..." ~ Unseen: Door To Alternity

tommo
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Katharyn » Sun Oct 07, 2001 3:05 am

Your absolutely right Ruth... which is why I am getting back to it. A few more parts in the summer then back to angst in the buildup to "Family," the aftermath of which is where this cycle ends.

Part 30 below (there will be a doublepost as I am posting part 31 as well.) As noted Part 30 is a minor reworking of the fanfic challenge response I did - included here just for completeness. Part 31 is all new though so just skip down too that if you read the challenge.

Katharyn

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Title: The Beginnings Cycle – Rollers, Warmers and Birthmarks (Version 2) Currently Part 30.
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Not really needed as this has already been posted see below. katharynrosser@hotmail.com
Spoiler Warning: None I think apart from generally events up to the start of season 5.
Summary: The first version of this was posted very recently as a response in the fanfic challenge thread on the Different Coloured Pens Board this is a slightly extended and edited version – but if you read the original you don’t need to read this one it is included here only for completeness and to bring it slightly more into the cycle than was possible in the challenge thread. A double date for Anya/Xander & Willow/Tara.
Disclaimer: I still don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc, etc. I am making zilcho.
Rating: PG13 but with Anya well on form so caution.
Couples: W/T, X/A,
Notes: The original conditions set in the fanfic challenge are included at the bottom of this fic for reference. I am not quite so twisted as to come up with all of this myself.
This fic is presented here as well as in the challenge thread as it is based on the backgrounds that I had established for my version of Any and Tara – i.e. they have become friends of a sort (which I think is backed up by the canon to some extent.) Thanks To: Xita for setting the challenge in the first place and L for reassuring me that it touched the right notes.

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‘Remind me again whose girlfriend came up with this stupid idea?’ Xander asked Willow for the third time in half an hour as they sat watching those girlfriends out on the rink.

‘Ah, I think that would be yours,’ Willow replied no more impressed with the results than he was. She had a badly bruised butt and thought that she had wrenched just about every muscle in her arms whilst trying to save herself or Xander from another tumble or embarrassing and painful splits… in many different, seemingly physiologically impossible directions. And she had fallen over only about half as often as the X-Man. Tomorrow would not be a fun day – she suspected that she wouldn’t be able to move without a great deal of pain. Still it was a Saturday, Tara wasn’t in work and she could stand to have a massage or two…

Meanwhile Tara and Anya frolicked.

Yup, that was definitely the word – they were frolicking out on the rink. Sweeping round at speed, dodging those other people who were inconsiderate enough to be out on the rink when novices were trying to skate and generally showing their partners up for the unbalanced fools that they were. Fools who had accepted the incessant nagging and later bitching by Anya, subtly supported by arguments of fun to be had by all from her new friend Tara, and agreed to this double date.

‘Aah yes, but your girlfriend helped.’ Xander had his own private suspicions – and lets face it fantasies – of just what that persuasive help may have included. Anya had not been any less subtle. Actually she had started to threaten the withdrawal of… privileges, which he somehow doubted had been Tara’s tack with Willow. But you never knew.

Who the heck had taught Anya how to skate anyway, unless it was natural side-effect of being a ex-vengeance demon. Which was unlikely. Horns. Big teeth. Scaly skin. Now those were side-effects you could respect in a ex-demon. Skating prowess – er no.

‘Those two are getting way too close,’ Willow observed, to herself as much as to Xander resenting the fact that Tara actually seemed to like Anya. How could she like her? She was… Anya.

‘Yup,’ he agreed.

They looked at each other for a moment… the obviously stupid idea running through their heads. ‘Nah…’

‘Nah…’

They both turned to the rink again, watching from the table at the side behind the rail, roller boots still strapped to their feet, and very, very glad that they had chairs. By unspoken agreement Anya and Tara would be dispatched to get their shoes from the lockers, no way, no how were they getting up on these miniature death-traps again.

‘I said bowling,’ Xander finally volunteered. ‘But Anya vetoed me on account of how rolling a ball at ten fat sticks was just stupid.’ Of course Anya had gone on a little more about it than that, but it was a fair summary of that entire evening.

Willow nodded.

They looked at their girlfriends again and could not come to any other conclusion than that which suggested that rolling around backwards as fast as you could on a crowded oval floor whilst distracted by laughing and joking was as close to stupid as anything they had ever seen – let alone done.

‘I suggested the basketball game – last years team against the gym teachers from all the Sunnydale schools,’ Willow admitted. ‘Everyone likes basketball.’

‘Even Anya,’ Xander offered in support. ‘I think it has something to do with tall men for her. Though some of the coaches aren’t really very tall, but she didn’t seem to realise that.’

‘Yours is a miraculous love,’ Willow told him and it was true. It was a miracle that they had put up with each other so long and though she hated to think it she had to admit it must be love.

‘I’m lucky I know,’ he replied sarcastic at his own expense.

‘Tara vetoed basketball. She said that it was also…stupid. Bouncing a ball and throwing it through a hoop… We’ve been set up,’ she concluded noting the similarities between their experiences. The compromise that the two girlfriends had reached, supposedly separately.

‘Oh yeah. We have sooo been set up.’

‘What are we going to do about it?’ Willow asked him, knowing the answer already.

‘Not a damn thing. We’re powerless in the face of the women we love.’ Xander replied, resigned.

‘Oh yeah.’

‘Besides Anya scares me,’ he added. ‘Not in a demony way though.’

‘She scares me too if it makes you feel better,’ Willow offered supportively.

‘Thanks. I think.’

Eventually Tara and Anya returned to the table, out of breath, giggling and almost deliriously happy. It made Xander and Willow sick but they put on their best brave, smiley faces nonetheless.

Anya plonked herself down next to Willow and started to fiddle around.

Willow opened her mouth. Then shut it quickly. Nope there was definitely a question needed there. ‘Uh, Anya?’

‘Yes?’

‘Is that your hand I feel?’ Willow asked as the thing in question seemed to be determined to stick itself under her aching butt an area theoretically off limits to anyone other than Tara.

‘Yes. I need something from my coat pocket and Tara said you told her your butt was too sore to keep skating – so I thought you wouldn’t want to move. You can keep sitting on my coat if it helps,’ Anya offered as if that made everything ok. She saw the look on Willow’s face. ‘Oh come on it’s not like it’s a gay thing!’

‘Ohhh… I know it’s not a gay thing…’ Willow shut up, not pursuing the matter, just lifted herself up and let Anya grab her coat from under her. Accomplishing her aim Anya went round the table and sat next to Xander instead, allowing Tara to resume her place next to Willow and start a little hidden stroking of her aching thigh that certainly could be a gay thing – or just a nice way of relieving the pain. Better the former tonight – she doubted after a nights sleep that she would be capable of moving… let alone anything gay, straight or even involving basic movement.

‘What did you want anyway?’ Willow asked, trying to be nice to the ex-vengeance demon, even though she disliked her with a fierce passion – though that was one step up from her former hatred. Who knew, by next summer she might actually be able to stand the presence Xander’s girlfriend. feeling like that she had to wonder why she had agreed to even the basic idea of a double-date. Oh yes, her favourite witch wanted to celebrate her first weeks pay…

Anya beamed and reached into the bag she had retrieved from her coat pocket. Held up a something bright green. Two things actually. It was fluorescent bright. It was the sort of bright that you would wear on a pitch black night to stop yourself getting knocked over. They could have advertised a club if it had been capable of blinking on and off. They were a pair of leg warmers.

Xander groaned and murmured a denial of the inevitable as if he had a dream about this moment.

Anya pressed ahead seemingly not caring. ‘You know that costume shop we used for Halloween, I was in there today and look what I bought!’ Anya boasted.

Xander hid his head in his hands and groaned once more as the bruising was rubbed up the wrong way by his movements to hide himself from view. If he could have stood the pain he’d probably have slid down under the table out of sight. It was actually more of a nightmare.

‘They’re leg warmers,’ Willow said. Deadpan.

‘Yes.’

‘And they are green.’ Tara added.

‘Yes.’

‘Fluorescent Green.’ Willow finished.

‘Yes, you think they are too bright?’ Anya asked, suddenly unsure of her purchase.

‘Well, just a little… bright,’ Tara said enthusiastically.

‘I would have said gaudy,’ Willow volunteered not really wanting to sound as if she respected Anya’s judgement – being as she didn’t.

‘I got some pink ones too.’ Xander groaned again. ‘Two for the price of one. A bargain.’ Anya held up the pink ones too and if it were possible they were even worse. And it seemed that Xander had visible shrivelled in his chair. As if by willpower alone he could make himself disappear. It was just getting worse and worse obviously.

‘I know I am going to hate myself for asking but…’ Willow was definitely going to hate herself.

‘Why?’ Anya completed and Willow nodded.

‘Ahn.. hun… no.’ Xander made another attempt in vain to prevent the what was going to be said as Anya totally ignored him.

‘Xander has a 1980’s exercise fantasy,’ Anya completed proudly. ‘The Kids from Fame.’

Quite why Anya was proud Willow couldn’t figure out. Xander having been through the repertoire of groans and moans just sat quietly nursing his head as if he had a hangover.

‘And he… Xander… wants you to wear… neon pink leg warmers?’ Willow was definitely afraid of the answer now. She had once had a crush on this guy?! Definitely glad she was gay… course she had never enquired about Tara’s fantasies. After tonight it might be a while before she did.

‘Oh no…’ Anya started.

‘Yes…’ Xander cut in quickly. ‘That’s in. I’m twisted I know I like the idea of Anya in pink leg warmers.’

‘But the pink ones are for you. You asked for them specially,’ Anya chided him, then turned back to Willow and Tara. ‘I get the green ones.’

‘Somebody shoot me,’ Xander gave vent to the death wish he had harboured since those leg warmers had emerged and the music on the roller rink jukebox, “I Will Survive” seemed strangely at odds with his current situation. ‘Ahn… enough. Willow and Tara don’t want to know.’

‘But they asked!’ Anya protested.

‘No… no… he’s right we really don’t want to know,’ Willow confirmed to her looking at Xander in a whole new light – which seemed to be something she did more and more often when Anya was around. ‘In fact let’s go.’ She looked over at Tara who was grinning in total contrast to her usual embarrassment at such public talk about intimacies. The worm was turning with Tara. Since she had been friends with Anya… she’d changed… in different ways to the changes that seemed to have occurred since they had become a couple. And for the better. Willow had to admit that.

Had she known? What had she and Anya been talking about? And was it just Xander or had she been a topic too? Anya didn’t seem the kind to tell a secret and not expect something in return and if nothing else Tara was a giver. ‘Let’s go… now.’ She repeated firmly to her girl friend noticing Xander was also moving and getting Anya to put the legwarmers away.

It was as they were changing from the boots into their street shoes that Anya confirmed Willow’s suspicions, looking at the small of her back, revealed by bending over to lace her shoes and said ‘Is that your banana shaped birthmark?’ Willow just looked at Tara, death in her eyes. Still it was just a birthmark. She didn’t give Anya the benefit of an answer until the Xander’s girlfriend continued. ‘I understand you have had fun with ban-’

Willow twisted, tweaking her already sore back and put the pain into cutting her off viciously. ‘Enough Anya. Don’t even dream of completing that sentence.’

‘Bu-’

‘Not another word,’ Willow demanded.

Anya might be insensitive but she had the self-preservation instincts necessary to meet the challenge and shut up after adding under her breath, ‘We’ve had fun with fruit too.’

Xander to his immense credit pretended not to hear. They all did.

‘And you -’ Willow turned to Tara who was seeming to move from shock to laughter. ‘I’ll see you later.’ She sounded like a teacher… the sort of teacher she had never been able to be when she was actually teaching.

The way that Anya hung back and took her place alongside Tara on the walk back suggested that they had more to talk about. And the ex-vengeance demon could be heard to exclaim ‘Oooh punishment!’ this time suggesting to Willow and Xander, who were walking ahead of their two naughty girls, that something along those lines was indeed due. But without leg warmers… definitely without leg warmers.

‘What we do-’ Xander started to say to Willow and broke off as he saw Harmony pulling a very depressed looking Spike along by the hand, a pair of roller boots slung by the laces over her shoulder, towards the Roller Rink. The boots were glitter strewn and shining under the glare of the streetlights. ‘Hey Xander, Hey Willow-’ Harmony called out then seemed to remember that she actually hated them and just carried on. Not the brightest was Harmony.

Seeing them Spike called out… ‘Not a word ok… not a sodding word, and if you tell the slayer…’

Suddenly Xander and Willow were a little more cheerful and heard the vampire comment ‘God – what a bloke has to put up with for a shag in this town.’

Willow and Xander looked at each other. Never a truer word was spoken as Anya and Tara continued to giggle.

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Conditions of the challenge(what sort of evil mind thinks of this sort of stuff…?)

1. The fic must be a double date between Willow and Tara, and Anya and Xander. It has to take place at a roller rink.
2. You must include leg warmers in your fic. Must. Essential.
3. The classic tune 'I Will Survive' must play at some point. Why? Because it's a classic.
4. Someone needs to have a funny looking birthmark. Where, who and what is entirely up to you.
5. The line "Is that your hand I feel?" must be said. Again, your choice.
6. Harmony must make an appearance.
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She's my always

[This message has been edited by Katharyn (edited October 07, 2001).]

Katharyn
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Katharyn » Sun Oct 07, 2001 3:08 am

Apologies for the double post but it is two separate fics....

Katharyn

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Title: The Beginnings Cycle – Just Us… (Currently Part 31 )
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. katharynrosser@hotmail.com
Spoiler Warning: Limited spoilers for events up to start of Season 5.
Summary: Just one night at Tara’s place in the summer between S4 and S5. All by themselves…. Or not.
Disclaimer: I still don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc, etc. I am making zilch from this series of stories.
Rating: PG13
Couples: W/T, X/A,
Notes: A lightweight piece of fluff that doesn’t progress the cycle at all… other than to give Tara more and more reasons not to give up, as if she needed more than Willow.
Thanks To: Zahir for pointing out the lack of interaction in my fics, I had got stuck in a groove I think (which I will get back into later.) Hopefully this addresses some of that. And just everyone OK! That includes the one who always demands her credit…


The Beginnings Cycle

Just Us…

By Katharyn Rosser

The place Tara had found was, Willow had to admit, pretty amazing. She hadn’t even known such places existed – apartments for visiting lecturers – but somehow Tara had found out and persuaded whomever it was you had to persuade that it was better to make some rent off it than have it sit empty over the summer vacation. And so here she was.

Here they were.

Tara’s stuff, of course, rattled around the large apartment, which was far too big for just one witch. But she wasn't going to move in and have to explain to her parents where she was staying, who with and least of all why just to fill it a little more. Not yet anyway. It was all semantics though. She might be living at home but she was eating, sleeping and loving right here.

With dinner finished they had washed up and moved into the living room. Tara had stayed late at the magic shop to finish up on her last day and now it was time to celebrate another pay cheque. Without involving roller blades, boots or that rolled attached to you feet. Or legwarmers. Least of all leg warmers. Willow’s butt was still bruised from last week’s double date with Anya and Xander. And so they had been looking forward, all week, to a quiet night in front of the television – which was a rare enough thing for them anyway – with no more work for Tara to send them to bed at a reasonable hour.

As she came into the room Tara was already sat in a beanbag she had found stuffed in the top of a cupboard when they had moved her stuff in. Very therapeutic it had proved in the last week for sore butts too. Tonight though she had promised to do her girlfriends hair so Willow sat on the sofa behind Tara, her knee’s enclosing Tara’s shoulders. The long blonde hair before her and waiting for her touch as Tara played with her ankles.

Tara had long ago told Willow of how her mother had always used to brush out her long hair for her. Platt it for her. How close it had made Tara feel to her. Willow had deliberately avoided offering to do the same for a long time after she had found out. Really though she had been longing to do that service for the woman she loved. At first it had just been doubt about how close they were or could be, and then a determination not to interfere with the memories that Tara had of her mother. All she had left of a mother she had lost - memories. But then Tara had asked her to. It seemed stupid to have planned something as low key and seemingly insignificant as this. But they had. Brushes and bands ready and waiting after they had eaten a home cooked dinner following a, for once chaste, shower together. That hadn’t been part of the original ritual but washing Tara’s hair first seemed to be a natural extension to Willow and not without it’s highlights for the senses.

The television was left with the sound off and really hardly the point. They could have done this to music or watching a film or other TV programme or just in silence as they were now… It wouldn’t have mattered to them but as soon as Willow started to smooth Tara’s hair down prior to taking the brush to those long tresses she knew that she could sit here and do this all night. It was sensual without sexuality. It was intimate, she thought as she picked up the brush, without naughtiness. It was being together. Close. And the way Tara almost purred as she took the brush to her resembled nothing as much as Miss Kitty’s reaction to a prolonged stroking and grooming – though Miss Kitty hated her brush with a vicious passion that you could only find in enraged feline.

Neither of them were sure just how long it had been since Willow had picked up the brush when the knock on the door came and Tara actually groaned such was her disgust at the interruption of the grooming. Not that she actually needed any more. It had been years now since anyone had brushed her hair for her – until Willow last week which had brought it all back for her. Made her ask for this intimacy. As long since she or anyone else had taken more than five minutes to do so – even on a really bad hair day. But it wasn’t about having nicely arranged hair. Willow had been curling the long strands on one side of her head. Absently, not really trying to sculpt it just yet. Just revelling in the texture and sensation of doing that for Tara. And so this would seem the worst possible moment for an interruption. But nevertheless Tara got to her feet, pressing herself up against the giving surface of the beanbag that sank away beneath her hand and left her precariously balanced with one hand resting on the floor, the bag pouring away beneath her buttocks and shifting her. She caught herself against Willow’s knee and pressed herself upwards once more.

‘Get…’ Willow started.

‘…Rid of them. I intend to’ Tara replied, no keener to prolong this interruption than her love was. This evening had been destined, as nearly all of them had in this apartment, to end in snuggling. But it would be just us. All night.

Until the knock at the door.

Tara padded her way, barefoot down to the door and opened it on the chain. And was immediately taken aback.

Willow sat in the chair, her legs spread round the empty beanbag, awaiting the return of her love. And was shocked to here the voice at the door that she did even after Tara had said, obviously surprised herself by her tone.

‘Mr Giles.’

‘Yes hello. Your not busy are you? I’m not disturbing…anything.’ came the voice which sounded more bothered about the “anything” part of that than the actual disturbance itself.

‘No, no.’ Tara replied and invited him into the apartment. Brought him though to the living area and Willow.

‘Hi Giles, Evil afoot?’ Willow greeted him, meeting Tara’s eyes and sharing a private moment of resignation. ‘Ooh, wine.’

‘Yes well, I know that you are not – strictly of age for that, but it is sort of traditional – housewarming and all that. And no, there is no “evil afoot” I was just…well you did invite me round… and I was – well – bored.’ Giles replied then stopped and looked at the bottle in his hand as he saw what was resting on the table beside Willow.

Willow picked up the glass and raised it to their visitor in a toast.

‘Aaah. Well here. A spare.’ He proffered the bottle to Tara who took it with a smile and a word of thanks. ‘I brought a video too I thought we might….ah.’ Giles looked towards the muted television and spied no sign of a VCR. ‘Oh.’

‘Thank you for that too. But we don’t have a player.’ Willow was not being inhospitable… but she wasn’t exactly softening it either. Basically she wanted to get back to what it had been. Herself and Tara. Just us. And received an almost, but not quite accidental, nudge in the shoulder from Tara. That woman was just too nice for her own good. But Willow relented. I mean how long could the ex-librarian actually stick around with them? It wasn’t like they talked anything much but shop…and things had been quite since the fall of the Initiative and the Exodus of demons and beasties from Sunnydale that had caused. Funny really why they left when things got so much easier for them… but then Buffy had dismantled Uber-demon Adam. That had to give them the wiggins. But then she had said all this to Giles already. ‘Have a seat. And a glass?’

Giles took one and instantly felt more awkward than a grown man in the midst of young women. More awkward than an unemployed ex-Watcher without a slayer in amongst people who actually had a future. More awkward even than one of the Queen’s subjects amongst the colonials. Which was saying something after all.

Willow leaned down to Tara’s ear and whispered to her, asking if she had arranged a housewarming. The blonde shook her head.

All of which made Giles feel even more out of place, now they were whispering… still never mind. Social butterfly and all. He waved the video at them. ‘It was monster trucks.’

Tara’s ears nearly fell off her head hearing that as she sat down again in front of Willow once more, but Willow’s reaction was not what she was expecting. I mean monster trucks. Not exactly cricket was it?

‘You actually started to like it eh?’ Willow asked him.

She was, Tara realized, obviously referring to something in the past. Willow didn’t offer to explain which meant it was something they didn’t talk about much... Everyone one had a past round here. Except for her. Tara actually doubted she had much of a future either. All I have, she thought, is right now.

‘Well,’ replied Giles phrasing carefully, ‘like is perhaps a little too strong a word for it. But it has a certain base appeal.’

‘It appeals to the typical male within?’ Willow suggested.

‘Yes, if you like.’ He looked at the screen. ‘So what are we watching?’

We? Willow and Tara shared that thought…

‘Just flipping channels really,’ Willow replied giving no hint of her annoyance. It was kind of hard to stay annoyed with Giles. He was always so perfectly polite and reasonable that it was sort of like kicking a well-behaved dog. There never seemed any reason for it.

‘I understand that program about the three witches is on…’ he suggested tailing off then regaining his impetus. ‘In a few minutes… do you not like that?’

‘You watch that Mr Giles?’ Tara asked him, more than slightly surprised. It had struck both her and Willow as laughably bad when they had watched it together.

‘Yeah Giles, how did that happen?’

‘Well... the title.’ He started out his explanation awkwardly. ‘I thought it might be something well… civilized.’

‘Like monster trucks…’ Willow suggested.

‘Yes – No.’ Giles saw Tara stifle a laugh at his expense and so tried to justify himself. ‘Well you know how we found that fairytales have some basis in fact. It is quite possible that TV…of a certain kind… is the modern fairytale. Programs like that might prove to be invaluable one day. Invaluable.’ He looked up from his shoes to find Willow and Tara, looking at him - doing their best, no doubt, not to appear sceptical. ‘And alright the ladies involved do have a certain amount of charm.’

‘Oh yeah…’ Tara commented and received a knee in the shoulder from Willow. ‘Oh come on you know you like the older one!’

‘Yes, she’s my fav-’ Giles shut up as he realised he was doing his best dirty old man impression which wasn't helping. Neither were Tara and her girlfriend who just smirked knowingly. ‘Well I am allowed to have a libido you know. Some of people actually manage to keep it beyond the age of forty.’

‘So votes for Enchanted then?’ Willow asked reaching for the remote.

Tara raised her hand and Giles did the same feeling a little foolish, not having stuck his hand up since school.

It was just as the credits were starting to roll, with two of the witches already in an impossible predicament that they would escape with the help of the third well within 60 minutes, that the doorbell rang again.

‘Oh bloody hell,’ Giles commented angrily. ‘It’s just starting.’

Tara twisted her head and looked at Willow not believing that he had just said that. Their thoughts exactly - ten minutes earlier.

This time Willow got up, lifting her leg over Tara’s head to escape and as she did so found a finger running down the other one.

Which Giles pointedly tried to ignore concentrating instead on the credits. Which were if not fascinating then at least safe. Willow moved past him and headed for the door and he tried to think of something to say to Tara. Hadn’t she been working at the magic shop? He seemed to remember something about that.

So he asked.

‘Yes.’ Tara replied.

‘Oh. Fascinating.’ Well that was that then. Neither of them were great communicators it seemed. He shut his mouth and turned to the screen where a spell was going to have to be cast pretty soon or there was going to be one less witch and the power of two didn’t have the same ring – though it seemed to work in the real world.

They both heard Willow greet Xander. And both of them were, for different reasons, disappointed. Tara because just us was rapidly turning into just the Scooby gang rather than “Just Us.” And Giles because that young man was definitely going to lower the tone.

‘And Anya.’ Willow added, trying to sound happy about it, but obviously failing from another room entirely so face to face…

A much, much lower tone then.

Tara immediately perked up, which Giles was surprised to see. That was something else he had heard from his position so far out of the loop that it actually looked like a straight line to him. That somehow quiet, self-effacing Tara, had become a friend of loud mouthed ex-vengeance demon Anya. Perhaps it was something to do with having two a’s in you name that did it. Perhaps it was some evil magic. Alexander. Tara. Anya. What else could it be? Everyone else apparently hated her. No Giles, perhaps that is unfair. Detested might me more reasonable.

Anya steamed into the room with a jumbo bag of popcorn and plonked herself down in Willow’s seat behind Tara without a word. Offered the blonde some and then went back to eating it herself.

‘And hello to you too Anya.’

‘Oh you’re here,’ she commented then shouted to Xander, ‘Why is the ex-watcher here?’

‘I don’t know hun,’ Xander replied coming into the room with Willow. ‘Hey Giles. Ahn, why don’t you ask him – remember what we said about talking to people nicely?’

Anya considered, then politely turned to Giles, offered him some popcorn showed her over-immense pleasure when he declined and then asked him. ‘Why are you here?’

‘I just brought a housewarming gift for Willow and Tara. Did you?’ he asked pointedly.

Xander looked questioningly at Willow who was shooting daggers from her eyes at Anya for having taken her seat, or more importantly the position behind Tara. Willow shook her head. She didn’t know anything about a housewarming either.

Anya, however, replied for herself. ‘We brought popcorn.’ She grabbed the remote and started to flip channels.

‘A gift that just keeps giving… when you pull it out of the sofa in a month it will taste just the same,’ Xander pointed out.

‘Oi!’ Giles shouted. ‘We were watching that. We were watching that weren’t we?’ Seeking some support from his hosts.

‘I’m in favour of pretty witches.’ Xander offered sitting on the couch next to Anya and leaving Willow to take a chair opposite Giles. ‘I always wait for the scene where they start to dance around naked… I live in hope anyway.’

‘Xander – you know I am on tonight’ Anya chided cycling though the channels until she got to a movie channel. It seemed to be in Russian or something and very old…

‘You’re on TV?’ Tara asked suddenly not so bothered about the witchy TV show.

‘You’re on TV?’ Willow repeated decidedly less excited.

You’re on TV?’ Giles was just plain disbelieving.

Anya missed all but the literal words. ‘Yes, wait a second, wait… wait. There that’s me.’ Anya pointed at the screen and woman in a cardboard mask.

‘That’s my little ex-vengeance demon,’ Xander crooned.

Anya just beamed.

‘Anya that isn’t you,’ Willow told her a second later.

‘Well not literally of course I haven’t been there in centuries. But that character is me. Anyiska the Corruptor.’

They sat there watching the film for five minutes before anyone actually pointed out that there were no subtitles and they had no idea what was going on. Which was, Giles realised thirty minutes later a huge mistake. Only Tara and Xander had seemed interested. But even Xander was rolling his eyes now and definitely looked like he wanted to have the witches back on. Please god let us have the witches back on.

‘… so I gave him leprosy.’ Anya concluded her tale and looked around as if expecting questions. Which no one had. Tara looked as if she was about to ask, but perhaps sensitive to the mood in the room wisely didn’t.

‘Yes…err…very good. Top draw curse, but perhaps a little extreme.’ Giles said breaking the silence that followed and searching for something to say.

‘I thought so. If I had realised though what that would do to the rest of the village I might have settled for a boil. It sort of spoiled my reputation in…’

‘The area?’ Giles asked hating himself for opening the door.

‘Well Europe and Asia actually. Took me a hundred years to live that down. But they still cared enough to make a film about me!’

Cared? Giles wondered, but wisely said nothing.

Xander tried to make light of the bad result. ‘But still they were armless.’

Anya looked at him as he grinned in that insane way waiting for others to join it. ‘Only some of them. The others lost legs, some just hands or feet.’

‘Thanks Anya.’ Willow said trying to shut her up.

‘That’s ok,’ she replied. ‘Some of them lost noses too.’

‘Ahn… I think that’s enough with the gross ex-demon talk’ Xander stopped her, realising what a can of worms he was risking opening.

Anya didn’t see to care much. She had found the hair brush and picked it up moving it to start doing Tara’s hair herself, totally ignoring the look Willow gave her. No one else in the room could though.

‘Uh, Ahn?’ Xander asked.

‘Mmm?’ She kept brushing Tara’s hair and she wasn't objecting. ‘Tara, who has been brushing this? It’s a mess,’ she said as she started to sort it out in her own way. ‘You know you should consider a different colour.’

To his credit Xander’s reactions were equal to the task of shutting his girlfriend up. This time with a hand over her mouth and a nod towards Willow. ‘Ahn… hun… stop.’ And she actually did for a second, but was about to speak up again when the doorbell again rung.

Saved by the bell.

If Giles was any judge there might have been blood on the walls, or possibly a squashed rodent in the carpet, if Willow hadn’t stalked out to answer the door with a loud ‘What?!’

‘Hey sorry Will, bad timing?’

‘Buffy.’ They all Willow say. ‘No. No. The gangs all here.’

Funny but four people in front of the TV got the impression that Willow wasn’t especially thrilled about the gang all being here. Least not now. But only one of them was likely to say anything about that.

The two women came back into the room and Buffy waved in response to a smile from Giles, a little wave from Tara, an absent minded salute from Xander who was engrossed in his girlfriends past even if he couldn’t understand a word, and a total blank by said girlfriend. Business as usual.

‘No one told me there was a Scooby night in’ Buffy said.

‘That’s funny,’ replied Willow a little less peeved, ‘nobody told us either.’ Buffy at least got the meaning of that and gave her a little supportive smile. But of course it was far too late.

‘Have you patrolled tonight?’ Giles asked, desperately trying to sound as if he actually had something to say in a gathering he was a generation removed from these youngster. A generation and several hundreds years of culture. Still the film wasn't bad compared to the sex and violence that filled most American films. Course a film about Anyanka was likely to be filled with… Good job it was old really.

‘Yes.’ Confirmed Buffy. ‘Nothing to report. Just the one vamp. I’ll do another sweep later.’

‘Good. Good.’ Could he get away with saying “good” again? Just for something to say. ‘Good,’ Giles finally added and went back to the film when everyone just looked at him.

With no more seats available Xander took the opportunity to a bit more control of Anya and invited her to sit on his lap.

It probably, thought Giles, wasn't the only reason he did that. Her grin suggested that other things were on her mind as well.

That left the seat behind Tara free again and before Willow could even make a move towards it Buffy had flopped into it. Tara turned and saw Willow knash her teeth, more so at what Anya had done with her girlfriend’s hair, half platted.

And then Buffy started to brush it through herself. ‘Who’s been doing your hair Tara? Platt’s don’t suit you.’

‘Hey!’ Anya shouted before a nudge from Xander restrained her outburst. ‘Sorry…’

‘Yeah hey!’ said Willow who had after all been first. Did Giles want a go too? Not that Tara was complaining much. Like some sort of treacherous kitten she had accepted the grooming from whomever sat behind her. Though she wasn't purring like she had when Willow had been doing it. Tara smiled at her and Willow resigned herself to having to wait to sort it all out later…

‘So Anya is on TV?’ Buffy asked.

‘Yeah, she gave an entire village leprosy to reward the head man for his infidelity’ Xander summed up, obviously paying far more attention than the others. ‘At least I think it may have been the head man. Kind of hard to tell they all have beards and furs around their face. Even the women.’

‘It was the headman. He deserved it. But he didn’t look anything like that. He was far less… hairy. And it was summer – they weren’t wearing furs.’

‘Artistic licence,’ Buffy suggested.

‘Arctic licence,’ Tara counter-suggested making a joke. Everyone thought about that for a second or too. Everyone got it. No one found it very funny or laughed and she just went back to letting Buffy brush her hair through.

Finally Anya said, ‘It wasn't in the arctic.’

‘Oh. Ok.’

‘Though I did once visit an Inuit settlement-’

‘Isn’t leprosy contagious?’ Buffy asked suddenly worried about the consequences of one little infidelity and determined not to let Anya tell her anything about yet another bout of vengeance.

‘Yes! Alright! I made a mistake OK!’ Anya bit back. ‘I learned my lesson too. No more contagious diseases for this vengeance demon.’

Xander just shook his head and distracted Anya by stroking her hair. When her hand headed south Giles fixed his eyes on the screen and didn’t dare look up again for a while.

‘You know Tara,’ Buffy said. ‘You could colour your hair…’

The only person who heard Willow’s mental scream was the blonde witch who just looked up with a wry smile.

It was a film and a half later that Giles was the last to leave Tara’s apartment. Buffy had gone on another patrol sweep as promised. Anya and Xander had… well they had gone to do what it was they did. A lot. And he was going home to bed. Better perhaps next time to be bored at home… or to summon up some big brewing evil for the group to focus on.

‘Thank you very much… it was very nice to-’

He was cut off by the door closing as Willow said ‘Goodnight Giles,’ and heard Tara call from inside ‘Goodnight Mr Giles.’ But the door was already shut, almost in his face.

‘Yes, goodnight,’ he murmured to himself and set off home.

Tara was already in the bedroom when Willow got back and turned the TV off. ‘Try again tomorrow night?’ she asked as Willow came in and started to undress.

‘Definitely. Just us.’

‘Just us.’

‘You aren’t going to dye your hair… are you?’ Willow asked unsure how Tara would look as anything but the blonde goddess she loved to worship.

‘I don’t know… convince me not to,’ Tara teased.

What Miss Kitty couldn’t understand was why, when she jumped onto the bed between those snuggling two humans - whose presence she tolerated in this place afterall - she was firmly ejected and shut outside the door of the room.

‘Just us.’

‘At last.’


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She's my always

[This message has been edited by Katharyn (edited October 07, 2001).]

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Ed Wood
Big Pineapple


Posts: 840
Registered: Jun 2001
posted October 07, 2001 07:31               
WOW!

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legend
Cool Monster Fighter


Posts: 138
Registered: Jun 2001
posted October 07, 2001 10:14               
I'll second that WOW! and throw in a BRILLIANT!

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Forrister
Willowhand


Posts: 413
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 07, 2001 15:37               
Poor frustrated Willow. I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who itches to get my hands on Tara's hair. And Tara! A secret hair brush ho!

This has certainly put a smile on my dial. Thanks.


Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri?
(How do you get your hair to do that?)

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Zahir
Gay Now!


Posts: 1238
Registered: Nov 2000
posted October 07, 2001 16:03               
Oh that was delightful! And original, too! I adore the idea of Tara and Anya being pals, along with the notion of a movie getting made about something Anya did centuries ago with her forcing everyone to watch it!

Well Done!

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"O let my name be in the Book of Love.
If it be there, I care not of
That other book Above...
Strike it out! Or write it in anew.
But let it be in the Book of Love!"
--Omar Kyam

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kpmuse
Willowhand


Posts: 308
Registered: May 2001
posted October 08, 2001 11:29               
Fantastic chapter! Brushing Tara's hair - Oh my! Shiver!

kris

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Bunny
Doll's eye crystal


Posts: 107
Registered: Jul 2001
posted October 08, 2001 16:58            
Excellent. I was really there getting really tense wishing they would all just go!

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Katharyn
Sassy Eggs


Posts: 590
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 09, 2001 13:14               
Part 32 will post tomorrow Kittens. One to start easing you back into the spirit of the cycle... less of the fun more of the thought. One more fun one after that to round out the summer(assuming I can think of something fun to write) then the final hurrah from BvsD towards Family and...gasp... the end of the beginning (via Willowhand which I am still trying tomake suitably special.)

Katharyn

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She's my always

[This message has been edited by Katharyn (edited October 09, 2001).]

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KittyKo
Willowhand


Posts: 351
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 09, 2001 20:19               
Oh... I'm affraid I'll start getting repetitive... but I loved it.

Hugs,
KittyKo

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Katharyn
Sassy Eggs


Posts: 590
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 10, 2001 13:11               
Here you go kittens, as mentioned not so fluffy this time round.

Katharyn
----------
Title: The Beginnings Cycle – Better Not Look Down (Currently Part 32)
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. katharynrosser@hotmail.com
Spoiler Warning: Limited spoilers for events up to start of Season 5
Summary: In the aftermath of some Scooby action Willow thinks about a decision. Tara makes it for her.
Disclaimer: I still don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc, etc. I am making zilch from this series of stories.
Rating: PG13
Couples: W/T
Notes: It always struck me that more often than not Tara was, unless being chased by something, usually out of the way when Scooby action was taking place. This perhaps gives one reason why that is.
A little more serious than recent parts and starting to get back onto track after the fun, games and diversions. And after proving to myself I could actually do some interaction that people seem to have liked I have shied away from it once more. Sorry Zahir.
During the redraft of this fic I totally changed the tense from present to past. I hope I picked up all grammar. UPDATE - I have just re-read this and found myself drowning in a sea of "had"s. Sorry about that. Too many to change.
“Better Not Look Down” is the title of a BB King song (though I believe it was written by someone else.) This part was originally called “Supporting Acts” but I think the current title better reflects the final message of this part and I hope by the end it is clear why and what this is the beginning of.
Thanks To: All the usual suspects…L.

The Beginnings Cycle

Better Not Look Down

By

Katharyn Rosser

Willow wasn’t sure exactly how it had happened. She’d missed the Scooby meeting where it had all probably been spelled out in the information rich way that Giles still liked to operate. What Tara had been doing there without her – she didn’t know. She hadn’t asked.

Yet.

She also didn’t know where that nest of demons had sprung from. She didn’t know what they’d wanted. She didn’t know if they’d just been on the basic “crush, kill, destroy” or trying to end the world. She didn’t know what kind of demons they had been. She didn’t even know how they had come to the attention of the Scoobies.

She’d probably find out the rest of the details tomorrow. It was all in the past. Because they had dealt with it without her.

And with Tara. Tara had been a part of it.

And that was what was really bothering her. Not being missed out, after all she had taken herself out of the loop by being out of town, but instead figuring out just what Tara had been doing there with them. How had Tara got into the Scooby loop?

Xander and Anya hadn’t been there. But Tara was. Course if those two had been in that demon infested basement… instead of Xander’s only slightly less infested basement she would never have known where to find the battle… and Tara.

It had been strictly the Scooby big guns. If you could call Giles a “Big Gun.” Now there was a thought – but he wouldn’t ask Buffy to go anywhere that he wouldn’t go himself. Not for that sort of set-piece battle anyway. Patrolling was different. They could all usually handle that. It was an old hat. It was comfy. It was one or two vamps at a time after all. It was familiar if sometimes terrifying. This had been a basement full of things that weren’t even vampires. They had been more your generic demon. If you couldn’t figure out what they were then kill them and figure it out later. If you had time.

Riley, government trained to seek and destroy all manner of creatures, critters and no doubt humans too. One of the “Big Guns.”

Spike. Well he was just Spike. With vampiric strength and reflexes he’d overmatched two slayers in the past and lived for the kill. Perhaps lived wasn't the right word, but Spike was more than useful. When he was sufficiently motivated. Which had probably meant cash. But still a “Big Gun.”

Buffy, of course. Nuff said there.

And Tara Maclay…

Mild mannered wicca by day… and mild mannered Wicca by night too. Definitely not “Big Gun” material.

Or so Willow had thought until tonight. It had been a shock.

Two shocks. One when she had found out and one when she had seen…

Now she, Tara, lay there, in the small hours of the morning, in the bed that they were supposed to be sharing. But Willow was far too concerned to sleep. Instead she sat in the chair across the room looking at the rise and fall of Tara’s chest. The expansion and contraction of her nostrils as she breathed quietly in her slumber. The tendril of hair that looped into the edge of her mouth and blew gently.

She supposed that being missing and not, in theory, due back until tomorrow – today now - then the magical support act had to be found elsewhere. She didn’t suppose that anyone had actually asked Tara to go with them. They wouldn’t have done that. Aside from the fact that they would want to protect her as much as Xander and Anya, Tara had also been an unknown quantity after all – and not really even an “official” Scooby. They hadn’t really known her. Even after last night they probably didn’t feel that they did. Tara had faced her share of dangers but never sought it out as the rest of them had.

No… Tara had probably felt that she should go.

Because I wasn't there to do it myself.

Xander and Anya had made it pretty clear that they had been surprised that she had gone with Buffy. Factored herself into their plans. Anya especially had seemed shocked. Might even have argued against it if her concern later was anything to go by. And Willow had thought that the ex-vengeance demon cared only about two things. Maybe there was one more thing in her not very complex personality matrix. She didn’t know if that said something for or against the woman sleeping in the bed… Probably best not to think about it.

She knew it had been Tara. It was just the way she was. More of a sense of duty than one of self-preservation. Always giving and asking so little in return. Which could be a good thing, the goddess knew Willow had benefited from her kindness and her sensitivity enough – even before they had fallen for each other so devastatingly and completely. But sometimes she just wanted Tara to say no. Or at least to say what she actually wanted for herself – or for them - more. She was getting better, more and more confident in expressing her own desires, but Tara was still sometimes too considerate for her own good. Too attentive to the wants of others. Would it really be so bad for her to be a little selfish? What was the worst that could happen?

Willow just couldn’t see Tara actually wanting to go along with Buffy and the others. But she had gone nonetheless.

If she had been there then Tara wouldn’t have gone. Not because she would have stopped her, but because there would have seemed to be no need. Tara had never asked to go with her in the past for Scoobyage. She had never volunteered. She had gone to meetings when Willow had. She had researched and helped plan. But she had never leapt into the fray. She just accepted Willow’s absence, probably worried in silence and then rejoiced on her safe return.

But with Willow not there it appeared Tara had felt that she should go. That someone should and she was the only one who could.

So she had.

And it had not been a bad thing. From a Scooby point of view. Tara had been all wicca-spellslinger gal.

Willow had not been that late in getting there. The battle had still been raging, the others had probably made a stealthy approach, planned what they would do. Willow had just charged over. She had run halfway across town following Xander’s directions. She hadn’t run so far since Coach Murphy had banished her at high school to a session of laps five years ago. Nor had she ever run so fast. But something other than energy had driven her. Not even willpower. She had been running on love and concern.

Her Tara had put herself in danger. That had been all she had been able to think about.

She hadn’t doubted that the others would look out for Tara, more so because she was relatively new to it all. But it wasn't always possible to protect everyone. How many times had one of them taken a hit whilst everyone else had been fighting for their lives? Xander, Giles, Willow herself. All of them had been flattened, injured, knocked out – though that was Giles’s speciality – more than once. Not because no one was looking out, but because everyone was caught up in their own survival and sometimes that had to come first. And where might that have left Tara?

She had arrived to find a dead demon on the ground by the basement access and was pretty sure at that moment that she had the right place. She had gone downstairs and she could feel the magic in the air. It had been a tangible thing. She’d been able to smell it, taste it, feel it. She’d heard the slight occasional crackle. She had been able to witness some of the effects as she’s stepped into the basement. Most of all she had been able to feel it. Right between her ears. Thick as treacle. And the only person who could have been wielding it was her Tara. Giles was more your big preparation guy than a think on your feet, necessity being the mother of invention blond-wicca-goddess spellcaster.

Fortunately for him. She wasn't sure, looking back, that the demons would have taken him seriously in a blonde wig – even with a sword.

She had emerged into the basement, at the other end from where the fighting was now, but obviously they had fought their way in and through the occupants. There had been dismembered demons at her feet – probably Spike getting over enthusiastic with the axe he had still been wielding in a cheerfully psychotic fury.

Giles had been up against one of the red skinned things with a sword, the cross bow strapped to his back and had seemed to be coming off the better. Buffy too had an axe, but had seemed a bit less cheerful than Spike. Enthusiastic but not outright happy.

Riley… Riley, when she had stepped into the basement had been in trouble, down on the ground with two going at him as he’d struggled to regain his feet.

Tara. Tara had been slightly out of the thick of it, but if there had been a rear then that was not where Tara had located herself, she had been in the danger zone letting off spells one after another. Helping the others when they needed it. Taking independent action when she could. But even there, in what had appeared to be the danger zone it was as if she had been in… a different place. Nothing had seemed to be going for her. The demons had been just totally ignoring her. One had charged down from behind her and Willow had been about to shout out a warning but the demon had bypassed the woman she loved and was another attacker for Riley.

That had made three, far too many for the grounded soldier to have a hope against. The others, well all except Spike, had rallied to his cause but they had their own problems.

It, the demon then trying to get in a position to rip Riley’s head off, hadn’t even looked at Tara and Willow realised that for some reason the demons had just not been able to see her. Willow had noticed the open air vent panel on the street outside. The right ingredients and the right words before hand… Certainly she didn’t think that Tara knew any spells that she could have just cast off the cuff to achieve that effect. She had been prepared.

And it might have been what kept Tara alive. Which was a very, very good thing.

But right then even that blessed thought had been submerged beneath her fascination at Tara’s actions in the thick of events.

Tara had gestured, her lips moving in silent incantation and Riley’s latest attacker had fallen to the floor. Not hurt, just unconscious, a sleep spell. It fell in front of Spike who, before its fellows could attempt to wake it with their bellows of rage, had cleaved it’s head in two with his axe. Messily. The vampire gestured at Tara and had flinched when Tara waved back, but it had just been a wave not another spell. The vampire had treated her a bit like she had been waving a gun around… he had been afraid of her. Tara must have really proved herself.

That had still left Riley under attack by two – whatever the heck they were - demons. Buffy had been struggling to dispatch her own targets and reach Riley but had been forced to divert via Giles who was had been having problems with a demon that had taken up a metal pole far longer than his sword and threatened to skewer him.

Tara though had been equal to the task and with another gesture and a cloud of faintly glowing dust one demon had lapsed into convulsions of… tickling? Typhas’s Tickles… a spell taught to children, Tara had once told her, who were involved in Wicca. Willow had suffered from that herself one night – being forced to beg Tara to end the spell. Absolute hell if you couldn’t stand to be tickled. It had looked like the demon couldn’t. Willow had then realised that Tara was throwing her entire repertoire at the demons in support of the Scooby’s. Magical smoke still had been lingering in the air from some earlier spell.

There had been nothing dark about Tara’s efforts. Not in the slightest. Nothing overly powerful even. The invisibility had been limited to Tara herself. The demons had been able to see the others just fine. The sleep spell had been focused and not general. Tara had not been tapping unknown reserves or the darker powers, she had just been using what she had in the best and most effective ways. And it had succeeded in ways that Willow never dreamed it could do.

Tickling a demon? With magic? Who would have ever considered that? Only Tara perhaps. Maybe you could kill with kindness.

Now, hours after the event, it made Willow wonder. She had always been researching, tinkering – looking for bigger and bigger effects. As if big equalled useful – and she wasn't convinced that wasn't true. How much better would a general sleep spell have been? But what Tara had done – that was worth thinking about.

It had been then that Tara had made her mistake, but perhaps it had been Willow’s mistake really.

Riley had been able to twist the head of the demon he was struggling with. With an awful snap that had gone through Willow’s chest even at the other end of the basement its head had lolled at an unnatural angle. Unsupported the demon had collapsed on top of him. The ex-soldier had struggled to free himself but the demon had just become dead weight. Just as Riley would have been if he didn’t get loose.

And so Tara had directly entered the fray.

She had sidestepped both the demons and the Scoobies, avoiding giving away her presence too early by disturbing them and making herself visible to them once more. The mistake, at the time, had seemed to be struggling to lift the body of the demon off Riley. Her presence had become obvious to them as she interacted with the environment in a way that their brains could not have explained away. It had been as if a shroud had been lifted and suddenly they had been aware of her. One of them had started to make for directly for Tara.

From behind. She couldn’t have known it was there. Shouldn’t have.

But somehow she had. Even as Willow had screamed her name in warning Tara had turned to it, starting to gesture and no doubt incant.

Willow’s cry had distracted her though. Willow had been able to see that, the horror in Tara’s face as she had turned back to see her lover standing there. Wasting precious fragments of the seconds she had. The beginnings of the spell had gone from her mind – and she had been defenceless with the demon getting closer. The fear on her face had given way to confusion as Tara had obviously being groping around in her head for something – anything that could have saved them.

Riley couldn’t help her, he was still pinned. No one else could have got there.

Willow knew she might have got Tara killed then with her scream and the panic that brought had caused her to start to summon her own powers. To find something, anything that would have distracted the demon. Stopped it. Killed it. Blown it to dust.

Before it could have got to Tara.

But she hadn’t been able to. Nothing would come to her then.

Or rather too much had come. The demon and the Scoobies had seemed to be moving in slow motion to her. So slowly. She’d seemed to have plenty of time. An age to prevent what was coming. But she hadn’t been able to prevent a thing. To do a thing about it.

What had come to her had been fragments. Beginnings. Ends. Middle bits. Different spells. Any one of which would have saved the woman she loved. But not coherent. Not one. Not anything she could have used. Nothing would come when she needed it to.

And so she had run.

Towards Tara but she had known she was going to be too late. Too late.

Riley had still been struggling to shift the weight.

Looking back now, which all she had been able to do for the past hour since she got up from their bed, she would guess that Tara was by then having the same problem she had been having. The calm balance that had allowed her to centre herself, anchor herself to unleash the magics had gone. Replaced with panic. Tara had been able to do nothing.

Willow had known she would be too late but she’d kept running anyway.

And at the last moment, a classic cliché she realised later but the sort of thing that happened nine times out of ten, before the demon had reached Tara and Riley a silver blur had flashed across between Tara and Willow. Where it had started she hadn’t known then. Where it had ended had been lodged in the demon’s chest splattering Tara and Riley with an orange viscous fluid.

And within seconds it had all stopped. Seconds that would have seen Tara and Riley dead but for that well aimed axe.

Everything had stopped.

Only the Scoobies had been left standing – or lying. A few of the demons had been sleeping. A few had been immobilised. Others had been lacking limbs but still alive. That hadn’t lasted long. Spike had retrieved his axe and set about finishing them all with a triumphant shout and a thick splatter.

Spike.

Spike had saved Tara.

All she, the woman who loved her, had done was to confuse her. To put her life in more danger than it already had been.

And that was the problem. Tara had perhaps done more in the circumstances with magic than Willow had ever done. Willow knew she would have gone for a big spell and probably being unable to do anything else – a burden to the more physical fighters. But Tara… Tara had been there throughout. Only at the end, when I had distracted her, did she need help. She had saved Riley.

And Spike had saved her.

I just endangered her.

Willow knew then that they couldn’t do that Scooby thing together. Research fine. They could be research gals together. And ok sometime there might be a need for big magic which we can only do together. But we can’t be there together like that in a fight. I can’t be there with her like that. Willow couldn’t, much as she loved the others – well all but Spike who she had gained a sneaking admiration for – care as much about them as she did Tara. Tara was the one she would worry about in such circumstances. And the worry brought the inability to act.

If she had thought for a second she would not have interrupted what she had known Tara was doing. If she had trusted Tara to accomplish it…

But to do that she would have to love Tara just a little bit less and that was an even less acceptable option.

So what should she do? Tara had proven herself far more effective with magicks in the battle than she would ever have dreamt of being – least not without going places Tara didn’t like her to think about. Should she let Tara take over the magical support act for the Scoobies?

Could she? Was she strong enough to do what Tara did? Could she let the woman she loved go off into danger and sit and wait for her? And what if she got hurt? Or worse. What then? She would hate herself. She might blame the others for letting it happen and it wouldn’t be their fault. She might even blame Tara for getting herself hurt. Resent it.

She would rather… not. It might not be the best thing for the Scoobies, but it was the best thing for them – and that might be the same thing in the long run. She wasn't as strong as Tara. She couldn’t accept the risks unless they were just to herself.

Though she had been looking towards Tara she had really been staring into the space between them, reliving what she had seen. She realised that Tara’s breathing had changed. That Tara was watching her just as she had been watching Tara.

She went back to her side of the bed and climbed in looking at the woman she loved.

‘You’re worried about what happened?’ Tara asked.

‘You aren’t?’ Willow countered sighing.

‘Yes.’

‘You can sleep though,’ Willow chided.

‘I’m exhausted. You’re worried about what will happen the next time we find each other in danger?’ Tara asked as if it been on her own mind.

‘There will be a next time,’ Willow told her as Tara stroked her ear.

‘I know.’

‘I….’ Willow started stopping as Tara started to say the same thing. ‘Go on.’

‘I don’t think that I should… Do you mind?’ Tara told her.

All Willow could ask was why… it might have been what she wanted, but why would Tara have reached the same conclusion? Willow knew her reasons were largely selfish, at least to the extent that she was trying to protect the both of them. But Tara had proven that she could be more than useful to the Scooby gang. Why would she not want that?

So Tara told her. ‘I don’t think that is what the magic is for.’

‘You mean it is dark?’ Willow doubted that. Doubted that Tara would go near the dark powers even for the best of reasons.

‘No… not dark. But it is close. Doing what I did… it killed those demons. I did it and I knew that would be the result even if I didn’t do it myself. I know they were bad… but that isn’t what the magic is for. I knew that but the magic… it was like it was whispering to me… wanting me to do more. And if I kept, doing that sort of thing then I might start to listen to it. If I started to look down into that dark place… it is seductive. I might find myself liking what I saw there,’ Tara told her, shuddering as if chilled as she did so. ‘Do you know what I mean? Have you felt that?’

Willow couldn’t answer that question. It had done more than whisper to her… sometimes it screamed at her and it was getting harder to resist it – when the need was great enough, when everything was at stake would it be so bad? To look down and accept just a little of what came from below? To use it for the best of reasons? But it was obvious where Tara stood, she had long since known it. Perhaps her lover was just being ultra cautious. There might be times when it was right to heed the whispers… and she didn’t want to have to promise that she wouldn’t.

When the need was great enough.

So instead she kissed Tara on the nose and answered another question. ‘I don’t mind at all love. I just want you safe.’ She pulled the covers up over them and snuggled down with her to ease into sleep.

If Tara had noticed that she had avoided the question she gave no sign.


------------------
She's my always

[This message has been edited by Katharyn (edited October 10, 2001).]

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Forrister
Willowhand


Posts: 413
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 10, 2001 13:50               
Tara: "I'm not so good with the whole ...." (Flails arms about.)
Willow: "Swimming?"
Tara: "Violence."

I often wondered how Tara would fit in on a serious scooby raid. This answer has the beauty of logic and simplicity. I can also see why she chose to give it up in the end. With the 'I'm gonna be a demon soon!' thing hanging over her head, is is any wonder she'd want to avoid any vague leanings towards the dark side? Great story!


Numquam periculum sine periculo vincitur.
(Danger is never conquered without danger.)


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IP: LoggedEd WoodBig Pineapple


Posts: 840
Registered: Jun 2001
posted October 07, 2001 07:31               
WOW!

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posted October 07, 2001 07:31                WOW!IP: LoggedlegendCool Monster Fighter


Posts: 138
Registered: Jun 2001
posted October 07, 2001 10:14               
I'll second that WOW! and throw in a BRILLIANT!

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posted October 07, 2001 10:14                I'll second that WOW! and throw in a BRILLIANT! IP: LoggedForristerWillowhand


Posts: 413
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 07, 2001 15:37               
Poor frustrated Willow. I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who itches to get my hands on Tara's hair. And Tara! A secret hair brush ho!

This has certainly put a smile on my dial. Thanks.


Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri?
(How do you get your hair to do that?)

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posted October 07, 2001 15:37                Poor frustrated Willow. I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who itches to get my hands on Tara's hair. And Tara! A secret hair brush ho!

This has certainly put a smile on my dial. Thanks.


Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri?
(How do you get your hair to do that?)
IP: LoggedZahirGay Now!


Posts: 1238
Registered: Nov 2000
posted October 07, 2001 16:03               


Oh that was delightful! And original, too! I adore the idea of Tara and Anya being pals, along with the notion of a movie getting made about something Anya did centuries ago with her forcing everyone to watch it!

Well Done!

------------------
"O let my name be in the Book of Love.
If it be there, I care not of
That other book Above...
Strike it out! Or write it in anew.
But let it be in the Book of Love!"
--Omar Kyam

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posted October 07, 2001 16:03                Oh that was delightful! And original, too! I adore the idea of Tara and Anya being pals, along with the notion of a movie getting made about something Anya did centuries ago with her forcing everyone to watch it!

Well Done!

------------------
"O let my name be in the Book of Love.
If it be there, I care not of
That other book Above...
Strike it out! Or write it in anew.
But let it be in the Book of Love!"
--Omar Kyam
IP: LoggedkpmuseWillowhand


Posts: 308
Registered: May 2001
posted October 08, 2001 11:29               


Fantastic chapter! Brushing Tara's hair - Oh my! Shiver!

kris

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posted October 08, 2001 11:29                Fantastic chapter! Brushing Tara's hair - Oh my! Shiver!

krisIP: LoggedBunnyDoll's eye crystal


Posts: 107
Registered: Jul 2001
posted October 08, 2001 16:58            


Excellent. I was really there getting really tense wishing they would all just go!

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posted October 08, 2001 16:58             Excellent. I was really there getting really tense wishing they would all just go!IP: LoggedKatharynSassy Eggs


Posts: 590
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 09, 2001 13:14               
Part 32 will post tomorrow Kittens. One to start easing you back into the spirit of the cycle... less of the fun more of the thought. One more fun one after that to round out the summer(assuming I can think of something fun to write) then the final hurrah from BvsD towards Family and...gasp... the end of the beginning (via Willowhand which I am still trying tomake suitably special.)

Katharyn

------------------
She's my always

[This message has been edited by Katharyn (edited October 09, 2001).]

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posted October 09, 2001 13:14                Part 32 will post tomorrow Kittens. One to start easing you back into the spirit of the cycle... less of the fun more of the thought. One more fun one after that to round out the summer(assuming I can think of something fun to write) then the final hurrah from BvsD towards Family and...gasp... the end of the beginning (via Willowhand which I am still trying tomake suitably special.)

Katharyn

------------------
She's my always

[This message has been edited by Katharyn (edited October 09, 2001).]IP: LoggedKittyKoWillowhand


Posts: 351
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 09, 2001 20:19               


Oh... I'm affraid I'll start getting repetitive... but I loved it.

Hugs,
KittyKo

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posted October 09, 2001 20:19                Oh... I'm affraid I'll start getting repetitive... but I loved it.

Hugs,
KittyKo

IP: LoggedKatharynSassy Eggs


Posts: 590
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 10, 2001 13:11               


Here you go kittens, as mentioned not so fluffy this time round.

Katharyn
----------
Title: The Beginnings Cycle – Better Not Look Down (Currently Part 32)
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. katharynrosser@hotmail.com
Spoiler Warning: Limited spoilers for events up to start of Season 5
Summary: In the aftermath of some Scooby action Willow thinks about a decision. Tara makes it for her.
Disclaimer: I still don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc, etc. I am making zilch from this series of stories.
Rating: PG13
Couples: W/T
Notes: It always struck me that more often than not Tara was, unless being chased by something, usually out of the way when Scooby action was taking place. This perhaps gives one reason why that is.
A little more serious than recent parts and starting to get back onto track after the fun, games and diversions. And after proving to myself I could actually do some interaction that people seem to have liked I have shied away from it once more. Sorry Zahir.
During the redraft of this fic I totally changed the tense from present to past. I hope I picked up all grammar. UPDATE - I have just re-read this and found myself drowning in a sea of "had"s. Sorry about that. Too many to change.
“Better Not Look Down” is the title of a BB King song (though I believe it was written by someone else.) This part was originally called “Supporting Acts” but I think the current title better reflects the final message of this part and I hope by the end it is clear why and what this is the beginning of.
Thanks To: All the usual suspects…L.

The Beginnings Cycle

Better Not Look Down

By

Katharyn Rosser

Willow wasn’t sure exactly how it had happened. She’d missed the Scooby meeting where it had all probably been spelled out in the information rich way that Giles still liked to operate. What Tara had been doing there without her – she didn’t know. She hadn’t asked.

Yet.

She also didn’t know where that nest of demons had sprung from. She didn’t know what they’d wanted. She didn’t know if they’d just been on the basic “crush, kill, destroy” or trying to end the world. She didn’t know what kind of demons they had been. She didn’t even know how they had come to the attention of the Scoobies.

She’d probably find out the rest of the details tomorrow. It was all in the past. Because they had dealt with it without her.

And with Tara. Tara had been a part of it.

And that was what was really bothering her. Not being missed out, after all she had taken herself out of the loop by being out of town, but instead figuring out just what Tara had been doing there with them. How had Tara got into the Scooby loop?

Xander and Anya hadn’t been there. But Tara was. Course if those two had been in that demon infested basement… instead of Xander’s only slightly less infested basement she would never have known where to find the battle… and Tara.

It had been strictly the Scooby big guns. If you could call Giles a “Big Gun.” Now there was a thought – but he wouldn’t ask Buffy to go anywhere that he wouldn’t go himself. Not for that sort of set-piece battle anyway. Patrolling was different. They could all usually handle that. It was an old hat. It was comfy. It was one or two vamps at a time after all. It was familiar if sometimes terrifying. This had been a basement full of things that weren’t even vampires. They had been more your generic demon. If you couldn’t figure out what they were then kill them and figure it out later. If you had time.

Riley, government trained to seek and destroy all manner of creatures, critters and no doubt humans too. One of the “Big Guns.”

Spike. Well he was just Spike. With vampiric strength and reflexes he’d overmatched two slayers in the past and lived for the kill. Perhaps lived wasn't the right word, but Spike was more than useful. When he was sufficiently motivated. Which had probably meant cash. But still a “Big Gun.”

Buffy, of course. Nuff said there.

And Tara Maclay…

Mild mannered wicca by day… and mild mannered Wicca by night too. Definitely not “Big Gun” material.

Or so Willow had thought until tonight. It had been a shock.

Two shocks. One when she had found out and one when she had seen…

Now she, Tara, lay there, in the small hours of the morning, in the bed that they were supposed to be sharing. But Willow was far too concerned to sleep. Instead she sat in the chair across the room looking at the rise and fall of Tara’s chest. The expansion and contraction of her nostrils as she breathed quietly in her slumber. The tendril of hair that looped into the edge of her mouth and blew gently.

She supposed that being missing and not, in theory, due back until tomorrow – today now - then the magical support act had to be found elsewhere. She didn’t suppose that anyone had actually asked Tara to go with them. They wouldn’t have done that. Aside from the fact that they would want to protect her as much as Xander and Anya, Tara had also been an unknown quantity after all – and not really even an “official” Scooby. They hadn’t really known her. Even after last night they probably didn’t feel that they did. Tara had faced her share of dangers but never sought it out as the rest of them had.

No… Tara had probably felt that she should go.

Because I wasn't there to do it myself.

Xander and Anya had made it pretty clear that they had been surprised that she had gone with Buffy. Factored herself into their plans. Anya especially had seemed shocked. Might even have argued against it if her concern later was anything to go by. And Willow had thought that the ex-vengeance demon cared only about two things. Maybe there was one more thing in her not very complex personality matrix. She didn’t know if that said something for or against the woman sleeping in the bed… Probably best not to think about it.

She knew it had been Tara. It was just the way she was. More of a sense of duty than one of self-preservation. Always giving and asking so little in return. Which could be a good thing, the goddess knew Willow had benefited from her kindness and her sensitivity enough – even before they had fallen for each other so devastatingly and completely. But sometimes she just wanted Tara to say no. Or at least to say what she actually wanted for herself – or for them - more. She was getting better, more and more confident in expressing her own desires, but Tara was still sometimes too considerate for her own good. Too attentive to the wants of others. Would it really be so bad for her to be a little selfish? What was the worst that could happen?

Willow just couldn’t see Tara actually wanting to go along with Buffy and the others. But she had gone nonetheless.

If she had been there then Tara wouldn’t have gone. Not because she would have stopped her, but because there would have seemed to be no need. Tara had never asked to go with her in the past for Scoobyage. She had never volunteered. She had gone to meetings when Willow had. She had researched and helped plan. But she had never leapt into the fray. She just accepted Willow’s absence, probably worried in silence and then rejoiced on her safe return.

But with Willow not there it appeared Tara had felt that she should go. That someone should and she was the only one who could.

So she had.

And it had not been a bad thing. From a Scooby point of view. Tara had been all wicca-spellslinger gal.

Willow had not been that late in getting there. The battle had still been raging, the others had probably made a stealthy approach, planned what they would do. Willow had just charged over. She had run halfway across town following Xander’s directions. She hadn’t run so far since Coach Murphy had banished her at high school to a session of laps five years ago. Nor had she ever run so fast. But something other than energy had driven her. Not even willpower. She had been running on love and concern.

Her Tara had put herself in danger. That had been all she had been able to think about.

She hadn’t doubted that the others would look out for Tara, more so because she was relatively new to it all. But it wasn't always possible to protect everyone. How many times had one of them taken a hit whilst everyone else had been fighting for their lives? Xander, Giles, Willow herself. All of them had been flattened, injured, knocked out – though that was Giles’s speciality – more than once. Not because no one was looking out, but because everyone was caught up in their own survival and sometimes that had to come first. And where might that have left Tara?

She had arrived to find a dead demon on the ground by the basement access and was pretty sure at that moment that she had the right place. She had gone downstairs and she could feel the magic in the air. It had been a tangible thing. She’d been able to smell it, taste it, feel it. She’d heard the slight occasional crackle. She had been able to witness some of the effects as she’s stepped into the basement. Most of all she had been able to feel it. Right between her ears. Thick as treacle. And the only person who could have been wielding it was her Tara. Giles was more your big preparation guy than a think on your feet, necessity being the mother of invention blond-wicca-goddess spellcaster.

Fortunately for him. She wasn't sure, looking back, that the demons would have taken him seriously in a blonde wig – even with a sword.

She had emerged into the basement, at the other end from where the fighting was now, but obviously they had fought their way in and through the occupants. There had been dismembered demons at her feet – probably Spike getting over enthusiastic with the axe he had still been wielding in a cheerfully psychotic fury.

Giles had been up against one of the red skinned things with a sword, the cross bow strapped to his back and had seemed to be coming off the better. Buffy too had an axe, but had seemed a bit less cheerful than Spike. Enthusiastic but not outright happy.

Riley… Riley, when she had stepped into the basement had been in trouble, down on the ground with two going at him as he’d struggled to regain his feet.

Tara. Tara had been slightly out of the thick of it, but if there had been a rear then that was not where Tara had located herself, she had been in the danger zone letting off spells one after another. Helping the others when they needed it. Taking independent action when she could. But even there, in what had appeared to be the danger zone it was as if she had been in… a different place. Nothing had seemed to be going for her. The demons had been just totally ignoring her. One had charged down from behind her and Willow had been about to shout out a warning but the demon had bypassed the woman she loved and was another attacker for Riley.

That had made three, far too many for the grounded soldier to have a hope against. The others, well all except Spike, had rallied to his cause but they had their own problems.

It, the demon then trying to get in a position to rip Riley’s head off, hadn’t even looked at Tara and Willow realised that for some reason the demons had just not been able to see her. Willow had noticed the open air vent panel on the street outside. The right ingredients and the right words before hand… Certainly she didn’t think that Tara knew any spells that she could have just cast off the cuff to achieve that effect. She had been prepared.

And it might have been what kept Tara alive. Which was a very, very good thing.

But right then even that blessed thought had been submerged beneath her fascination at Tara’s actions in the thick of events.

Tara had gestured, her lips moving in silent incantation and Riley’s latest attacker had fallen to the floor. Not hurt, just unconscious, a sleep spell. It fell in front of Spike who, before its fellows could attempt to wake it with their bellows of rage, had cleaved it’s head in two with his axe. Messily. The vampire gestured at Tara and had flinched when Tara waved back, but it had just been a wave not another spell. The vampire had treated her a bit like she had been waving a gun around… he had been afraid of her. Tara must have really proved herself.

That had still left Riley under attack by two – whatever the heck they were - demons. Buffy had been struggling to dispatch her own targets and reach Riley but had been forced to divert via Giles who was had been having problems with a demon that had taken up a metal pole far longer than his sword and threatened to skewer him.

Tara though had been equal to the task and with another gesture and a cloud of faintly glowing dust one demon had lapsed into convulsions of… tickling? Typhas’s Tickles… a spell taught to children, Tara had once told her, who were involved in Wicca. Willow had suffered from that herself one night – being forced to beg Tara to end the spell. Absolute hell if you couldn’t stand to be tickled. It had looked like the demon couldn’t. Willow had then realised that Tara was throwing her entire repertoire at the demons in support of the Scooby’s. Magical smoke still had been lingering in the air from some earlier spell.

There had been nothing dark about Tara’s efforts. Not in the slightest. Nothing overly powerful even. The invisibility had been limited to Tara herself. The demons had been able to see the others just fine. The sleep spell had been focused and not general. Tara had not been tapping unknown reserves or the darker powers, she had just been using what she had in the best and most effective ways. And it had succeeded in ways that Willow never dreamed it could do.

Tickling a demon? With magic? Who would have ever considered that? Only Tara perhaps. Maybe you could kill with kindness.

Now, hours after the event, it made Willow wonder. She had always been researching, tinkering – looking for bigger and bigger effects. As if big equalled useful – and she wasn't convinced that wasn't true. How much better would a general sleep spell have been? But what Tara had done – that was worth thinking about.

It had been then that Tara had made her mistake, but perhaps it had been Willow’s mistake really.

Riley had been able to twist the head of the demon he was struggling with. With an awful snap that had gone through Willow’s chest even at the other end of the basement its head had lolled at an unnatural angle. Unsupported the demon had collapsed on top of him. The ex-soldier had struggled to free himself but the demon had just become dead weight. Just as Riley would have been if he didn’t get loose.

And so Tara had directly entered the fray.

She had sidestepped both the demons and the Scoobies, avoiding giving away her presence too early by disturbing them and making herself visible to them once more. The mistake, at the time, had seemed to be struggling to lift the body of the demon off Riley. Her presence had become obvious to them as she interacted with the environment in a way that their brains could not have explained away. It had been as if a shroud had been lifted and suddenly they had been aware of her. One of them had started to make for directly for Tara.

From behind. She couldn’t have known it was there. Shouldn’t have.

But somehow she had. Even as Willow had screamed her name in warning Tara had turned to it, starting to gesture and no doubt incant.

Willow’s cry had distracted her though. Willow had been able to see that, the horror in Tara’s face as she had turned back to see her lover standing there. Wasting precious fragments of the seconds she had. The beginnings of the spell had gone from her mind – and she had been defenceless with the demon getting closer. The fear on her face had given way to confusion as Tara had obviously being groping around in her head for something – anything that could have saved them.

Riley couldn’t help her, he was still pinned. No one else could have got there.

Willow knew she might have got Tara killed then with her scream and the panic that brought had caused her to start to summon her own powers. To find something, anything that would have distracted the demon. Stopped it. Killed it. Blown it to dust.

Before it could have got to Tara.

But she hadn’t been able to. Nothing would come to her then.

Or rather too much had come. The demon and the Scoobies had seemed to be moving in slow motion to her. So slowly. She’d seemed to have plenty of time. An age to prevent what was coming. But she hadn’t been able to prevent a thing. To do a thing about it.

What had come to her had been fragments. Beginnings. Ends. Middle bits. Different spells. Any one of which would have saved the woman she loved. But not coherent. Not one. Not anything she could have used. Nothing would come when she needed it to.

And so she had run.

Towards Tara but she had known she was going to be too late. Too late.

Riley had still been struggling to shift the weight.

Looking back now, which all she had been able to do for the past hour since she got up from their bed, she would guess that Tara was by then having the same problem she had been having. The calm balance that had allowed her to centre herself, anchor herself to unleash the magics had gone. Replaced with panic. Tara had been able to do nothing.

Willow had known she would be too late but she’d kept running anyway.

And at the last moment, a classic cliché she realised later but the sort of thing that happened nine times out of ten, before the demon had reached Tara and Riley a silver blur had flashed across between Tara and Willow. Where it had started she hadn’t known then. Where it had ended had been lodged in the demon’s chest splattering Tara and Riley with an orange viscous fluid.

And within seconds it had all stopped. Seconds that would have seen Tara and Riley dead but for that well aimed axe.

Everything had stopped.

Only the Scoobies had been left standing – or lying. A few of the demons had been sleeping. A few had been immobilised. Others had been lacking limbs but still alive. That hadn’t lasted long. Spike had retrieved his axe and set about finishing them all with a triumphant shout and a thick splatter.

Spike.

Spike had saved Tara.

All she, the woman who loved her, had done was to confuse her. To put her life in more danger than it already had been.

And that was the problem. Tara had perhaps done more in the circumstances with magic than Willow had ever done. Willow knew she would have gone for a big spell and probably being unable to do anything else – a burden to the more physical fighters. But Tara… Tara had been there throughout. Only at the end, when I had distracted her, did she need help. She had saved Riley.

And Spike had saved her.

I just endangered her.

Willow knew then that they couldn’t do that Scooby thing together. Research fine. They could be research gals together. And ok sometime there might be a need for big magic which we can only do together. But we can’t be there together like that in a fight. I can’t be there with her like that. Willow couldn’t, much as she loved the others – well all but Spike who she had gained a sneaking admiration for – care as much about them as she did Tara. Tara was the one she would worry about in such circumstances. And the worry brought the inability to act.

If she had thought for a second she would not have interrupted what she had known Tara was doing. If she had trusted Tara to accomplish it…

But to do that she would have to love Tara just a little bit less and that was an even less acceptable option.

So what should she do? Tara had proven herself far more effective with magicks in the battle than she would ever have dreamt of being – least not without going places Tara didn’t like her to think about. Should she let Tara take over the magical support act for the Scoobies?

Could she? Was she strong enough to do what Tara did? Could she let the woman she loved go off into danger and sit and wait for her? And what if she got hurt? Or worse. What then? She would hate herself. She might blame the others for letting it happen and it wouldn’t be their fault. She might even blame Tara for getting herself hurt. Resent it.

She would rather… not. It might not be the best thing for the Scoobies, but it was the best thing for them – and that might be the same thing in the long run. She wasn't as strong as Tara. She couldn’t accept the risks unless they were just to herself.

Though she had been looking towards Tara she had really been staring into the space between them, reliving what she had seen. She realised that Tara’s breathing had changed. That Tara was watching her just as she had been watching Tara.

She went back to her side of the bed and climbed in looking at the woman she loved.

‘You’re worried about what happened?’ Tara asked.

‘You aren’t?’ Willow countered sighing.

‘Yes.’

‘You can sleep though,’ Willow chided.

‘I’m exhausted. You’re worried about what will happen the next time we find each other in danger?’ Tara asked as if it been on her own mind.

‘There will be a next time,’ Willow told her as Tara stroked her ear.

‘I know.’

‘I….’ Willow started stopping as Tara started to say the same thing. ‘Go on.’

‘I don’t think that I should… Do you mind?’ Tara told her.

All Willow could ask was why… it might have been what she wanted, but why would Tara have reached the same conclusion? Willow knew her reasons were largely selfish, at least to the extent that she was trying to protect the both of them. But Tara had proven that she could be more than useful to the Scooby gang. Why would she not want that?

So Tara told her. ‘I don’t think that is what the magic is for.’

‘You mean it is dark?’ Willow doubted that. Doubted that Tara would go near the dark powers even for the best of reasons.

‘No… not dark. But it is close. Doing what I did… it killed those demons. I did it and I knew that would be the result even if I didn’t do it myself. I know they were bad… but that isn’t what the magic is for. I knew that but the magic… it was like it was whispering to me… wanting me to do more. And if I kept, doing that sort of thing then I might start to listen to it. If I started to look down into that dark place… it is seductive. I might find myself liking what I saw there,’ Tara told her, shuddering as if chilled as she did so. ‘Do you know what I mean? Have you felt that?’

Willow couldn’t answer that question. It had done more than whisper to her… sometimes it screamed at her and it was getting harder to resist it – when the need was great enough, when everything was at stake would it be so bad? To look down and accept just a little of what came from below? To use it for the best of reasons? But it was obvious where Tara stood, she had long since known it. Perhaps her lover was just being ultra cautious. There might be times when it was right to heed the whispers… and she didn’t want to have to promise that she wouldn’t.

When the need was great enough.

So instead she kissed Tara on the nose and answered another question. ‘I don’t mind at all love. I just want you safe.’ She pulled the covers up over them and snuggled down with her to ease into sleep.

If Tara had noticed that she had avoided the question she gave no sign.


------------------
She's my always

[This message has been edited by Katharyn (edited October 10, 2001).]

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Forrister
Willowhand


Posts: 413
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 10, 2001 13:50               
Tara: "I'm not so good with the whole ...." (Flails arms about.)
Willow: "Swimming?"
Tara: "Violence."

I often wondered how Tara would fit in on a serious scooby raid. This answer has the beauty of logic and simplicity. I can also see why she chose to give it up in the end. With the 'I'm gonna be a demon soon!' thing hanging over her head, is is any wonder she'd want to avoid any vague leanings towards the dark side? Great story!


Numquam periculum sine periculo vincitur.
(Danger is never conquered without danger.)


IP: Logged

posted October 10, 2001 13:11                Here you go kittens, as mentioned not so fluffy this time round.

Katharyn
----------
Title: The Beginnings Cycle – Better Not Look Down (Currently Part 32)
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. katharynrosser@hotmail.com
Spoiler Warning: Limited spoilers for events up to start of Season 5
Summary: In the aftermath of some Scooby action Willow thinks about a decision. Tara makes it for her.
Disclaimer: I still don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc, etc. I am making zilch from this series of stories.
Rating: PG13
Couples: W/T
Notes: It always struck me that more often than not Tara was, unless being chased by something, usually out of the way when Scooby action was taking place. This perhaps gives one reason why that is.
A little more serious than recent parts and starting to get back onto track after the fun, games and diversions. And after proving to myself I could actually do some interaction that people seem to have liked I have shied away from it once more. Sorry Zahir.
During the redraft of this fic I totally changed the tense from present to past. I hope I picked up all grammar. UPDATE - I have just re-read this and found myself drowning in a sea of "had"s. Sorry about that. Too many to change.
“Better Not Look Down” is the title of a BB King song (though I believe it was written by someone else.) This part was originally called “Supporting Acts” but I think the current title better reflects the final message of this part and I hope by the end it is clear why and what this is the beginning of.
Thanks To: All the usual suspects…L.

The Beginnings Cycle

Better Not Look Down

By

Katharyn Rosser

Willow wasn’t sure exactly how it had happened. She’d missed the Scooby meeting where it had all probably been spelled out in the information rich way that Giles still liked to operate. What Tara had been doing there without her – she didn’t know. She hadn’t asked.

Yet.

She also didn’t know where that nest of demons had sprung from. She didn’t know what they’d wanted. She didn’t know if they’d just been on the basic “crush, kill, destroy” or trying to end the world. She didn’t know what kind of demons they had been. She didn’t even know how they had come to the attention of the Scoobies.

She’d probably find out the rest of the details tomorrow. It was all in the past. Because they had dealt with it without her.

And with Tara. Tara had been a part of it.

And that was what was really bothering her. Not being missed out, after all she had taken herself out of the loop by being out of town, but instead figuring out just what Tara had been doing there with them. How had Tara got into the Scooby loop?

Xander and Anya hadn’t been there. But Tara was. Course if those two had been in that demon infested basement… instead of Xander’s only slightly less infested basement she would never have known where to find the battle… and Tara.

It had been strictly the Scooby big guns. If you could call Giles a “Big Gun.” Now there was a thought – but he wouldn’t ask Buffy to go anywhere that he wouldn’t go himself. Not for that sort of set-piece battle anyway. Patrolling was different. They could all usually handle that. It was an old hat. It was comfy. It was one or two vamps at a time after all. It was familiar if sometimes terrifying. This had been a basement full of things that weren’t even vampires. They had been more your generic demon. If you couldn’t figure out what they were then kill them and figure it out later. If you had time.

Riley, government trained to seek and destroy all manner of creatures, critters and no doubt humans too. One of the “Big Guns.”

Spike. Well he was just Spike. With vampiric strength and reflexes he’d overmatched two slayers in the past and lived for the kill. Perhaps lived wasn't the right word, but Spike was more than useful. When he was sufficiently motivated. Which had probably meant cash. But still a “Big Gun.”

Buffy, of course. Nuff said there.

And Tara Maclay…

Mild mannered wicca by day… and mild mannered Wicca by night too. Definitely not “Big Gun” material.

Or so Willow had thought until tonight. It had been a shock.

Two shocks. One when she had found out and one when she had seen…

Now she, Tara, lay there, in the small hours of the morning, in the bed that they were supposed to be sharing. But Willow was far too concerned to sleep. Instead she sat in the chair across the room looking at the rise and fall of Tara’s chest. The expansion and contraction of her nostrils as she breathed quietly in her slumber. The tendril of hair that looped into the edge of her mouth and blew gently.

She supposed that being missing and not, in theory, due back until tomorrow – today now - then the magical support act had to be found elsewhere. She didn’t suppose that anyone had actually asked Tara to go with them. They wouldn’t have done that. Aside from the fact that they would want to protect her as much as Xander and Anya, Tara had also been an unknown quantity after all – and not really even an “official” Scooby. They hadn’t really known her. Even after last night they probably didn’t feel that they did. Tara had faced her share of dangers but never sought it out as the rest of them had.

No… Tara had probably felt that she should go.

Because I wasn't there to do it myself.

Xander and Anya had made it pretty clear that they had been surprised that she had gone with Buffy. Factored herself into their plans. Anya especially had seemed shocked. Might even have argued against it if her concern later was anything to go by. And Willow had thought that the ex-vengeance demon cared only about two things. Maybe there was one more thing in her not very complex personality matrix. She didn’t know if that said something for or against the woman sleeping in the bed… Probably best not to think about it.

She knew it had been Tara. It was just the way she was. More of a sense of duty than one of self-preservation. Always giving and asking so little in return. Which could be a good thing, the goddess knew Willow had benefited from her kindness and her sensitivity enough – even before they had fallen for each other so devastatingly and completely. But sometimes she just wanted Tara to say no. Or at least to say what she actually wanted for herself – or for them - more. She was getting better, more and more confident in expressing her own desires, but Tara was still sometimes too considerate for her own good. Too attentive to the wants of others. Would it really be so bad for her to be a little selfish? What was the worst that could happen?

Willow just couldn’t see Tara actually wanting to go along with Buffy and the others. But she had gone nonetheless.

If she had been there then Tara wouldn’t have gone. Not because she would have stopped her, but because there would have seemed to be no need. Tara had never asked to go with her in the past for Scoobyage. She had never volunteered. She had gone to meetings when Willow had. She had researched and helped plan. But she had never leapt into the fray. She just accepted Willow’s absence, probably worried in silence and then rejoiced on her safe return.

But with Willow not there it appeared Tara had felt that she should go. That someone should and she was the only one who could.

So she had.

And it had not been a bad thing. From a Scooby point of view. Tara had been all wicca-spellslinger gal.

Willow had not been that late in getting there. The battle had still been raging, the others had probably made a stealthy approach, planned what they would do. Willow had just charged over. She had run halfway across town following Xander’s directions. She hadn’t run so far since Coach Murphy had banished her at high school to a session of laps five years ago. Nor had she ever run so fast. But something other than energy had driven her. Not even willpower. She had been running on love and concern.

Her Tara had put herself in danger. That had been all she had been able to think about.

She hadn’t doubted that the others would look out for Tara, more so because she was relatively new to it all. But it wasn't always possible to protect everyone. How many times had one of them taken a hit whilst everyone else had been fighting for their lives? Xander, Giles, Willow herself. All of them had been flattened, injured, knocked out – though that was Giles’s speciality – more than once. Not because no one was looking out, but because everyone was caught up in their own survival and sometimes that had to come first. And where might that have left Tara?

She had arrived to find a dead demon on the ground by the basement access and was pretty sure at that moment that she had the right place. She had gone downstairs and she could feel the magic in the air. It had been a tangible thing. She’d been able to smell it, taste it, feel it. She’d heard the slight occasional crackle. She had been able to witness some of the effects as she’s stepped into the basement. Most of all she had been able to feel it. Right between her ears. Thick as treacle. And the only person who could have been wielding it was her Tara. Giles was more your big preparation guy than a think on your feet, necessity being the mother of invention blond-wicca-goddess spellcaster.

Fortunately for him. She wasn't sure, looking back, that the demons would have taken him seriously in a blonde wig – even with a sword.

She had emerged into the basement, at the other end from where the fighting was now, but obviously they had fought their way in and through the occupants. There had been dismembered demons at her feet – probably Spike getting over enthusiastic with the axe he had still been wielding in a cheerfully psychotic fury.

Giles had been up against one of the red skinned things with a sword, the cross bow strapped to his back and had seemed to be coming off the better. Buffy too had an axe, but had seemed a bit less cheerful than Spike. Enthusiastic but not outright happy.

Riley… Riley, when she had stepped into the basement had been in trouble, down on the ground with two going at him as he’d struggled to regain his feet.

Tara. Tara had been slightly out of the thick of it, but if there had been a rear then that was not where Tara had located herself, she had been in the danger zone letting off spells one after another. Helping the others when they needed it. Taking independent action when she could. But even there, in what had appeared to be the danger zone it was as if she had been in… a different place. Nothing had seemed to be going for her. The demons had been just totally ignoring her. One had charged down from behind her and Willow had been about to shout out a warning but the demon had bypassed the woman she loved and was another attacker for Riley.

That had made three, far too many for the grounded soldier to have a hope against. The others, well all except Spike, had rallied to his cause but they had their own problems.

It, the demon then trying to get in a position to rip Riley’s head off, hadn’t even looked at Tara and Willow realised that for some reason the demons had just not been able to see her. Willow had noticed the open air vent panel on the street outside. The right ingredients and the right words before hand… Certainly she didn’t think that Tara knew any spells that she could have just cast off the cuff to achieve that effect. She had been prepared.

And it might have been what kept Tara alive. Which was a very, very good thing.

But right then even that blessed thought had been submerged beneath her fascination at Tara’s actions in the thick of events.

Tara had gestured, her lips moving in silent incantation and Riley’s latest attacker had fallen to the floor. Not hurt, just unconscious, a sleep spell. It fell in front of Spike who, before its fellows could attempt to wake it with their bellows of rage, had cleaved it’s head in two with his axe. Messily. The vampire gestured at Tara and had flinched when Tara waved back, but it had just been a wave not another spell. The vampire had treated her a bit like she had been waving a gun around… he had been afraid of her. Tara must have really proved herself.

That had still left Riley under attack by two – whatever the heck they were - demons. Buffy had been struggling to dispatch her own targets and reach Riley but had been forced to divert via Giles who was had been having problems with a demon that had taken up a metal pole far longer than his sword and threatened to skewer him.

Tara though had been equal to the task and with another gesture and a cloud of faintly glowing dust one demon had lapsed into convulsions of… tickling? Typhas’s Tickles… a spell taught to children, Tara had once told her, who were involved in Wicca. Willow had suffered from that herself one night – being forced to beg Tara to end the spell. Absolute hell if you couldn’t stand to be tickled. It had looked like the demon couldn’t. Willow had then realised that Tara was throwing her entire repertoire at the demons in support of the Scooby’s. Magical smoke still had been lingering in the air from some earlier spell.

There had been nothing dark about Tara’s efforts. Not in the slightest. Nothing overly powerful even. The invisibility had been limited to Tara herself. The demons had been able to see the others just fine. The sleep spell had been focused and not general. Tara had not been tapping unknown reserves or the darker powers, she had just been using what she had in the best and most effective ways. And it had succeeded in ways that Willow never dreamed it could do.

Tickling a demon? With magic? Who would have ever considered that? Only Tara perhaps. Maybe you could kill with kindness.

Now, hours after the event, it made Willow wonder. She had always been researching, tinkering – looking for bigger and bigger effects. As if big equalled useful – and she wasn't convinced that wasn't true. How much better would a general sleep spell have been? But what Tara had done – that was worth thinking about.

It had been then that Tara had made her mistake, but perhaps it had been Willow’s mistake really.

Riley had been able to twist the head of the demon he was struggling with. With an awful snap that had gone through Willow’s chest even at the other end of the basement its head had lolled at an unnatural angle. Unsupported the demon had collapsed on top of him. The ex-soldier had struggled to free himself but the demon had just become dead weight. Just as Riley would have been if he didn’t get loose.

And so Tara had directly entered the fray.

She had sidestepped both the demons and the Scoobies, avoiding giving away her presence too early by disturbing them and making herself visible to them once more. The mistake, at the time, had seemed to be struggling to lift the body of the demon off Riley. Her presence had become obvious to them as she interacted with the environment in a way that their brains could not have explained away. It had been as if a shroud had been lifted and suddenly they had been aware of her. One of them had started to make for directly for Tara.

From behind. She couldn’t have known it was there. Shouldn’t have.

But somehow she had. Even as Willow had screamed her name in warning Tara had turned to it, starting to gesture and no doubt incant.

Willow’s cry had distracted her though. Willow had been able to see that, the horror in Tara’s face as she had turned back to see her lover standing there. Wasting precious fragments of the seconds she had. The beginnings of the spell had gone from her mind – and she had been defenceless with the demon getting closer. The fear on her face had given way to confusion as Tara had obviously being groping around in her head for something – anything that could have saved them.

Riley couldn’t help her, he was still pinned. No one else could have got there.

Willow knew she might have got Tara killed then with her scream and the panic that brought had caused her to start to summon her own powers. To find something, anything that would have distracted the demon. Stopped it. Killed it. Blown it to dust.

Before it could have got to Tara.

But she hadn’t been able to. Nothing would come to her then.

Or rather too much had come. The demon and the Scoobies had seemed to be moving in slow motion to her. So slowly. She’d seemed to have plenty of time. An age to prevent what was coming. But she hadn’t been able to prevent a thing. To do a thing about it.

What had come to her had been fragments. Beginnings. Ends. Middle bits. Different spells. Any one of which would have saved the woman she loved. But not coherent. Not one. Not anything she could have used. Nothing would come when she needed it to.

And so she had run.

Towards Tara but she had known she was going to be too late. Too late.

Riley had still been struggling to shift the weight.

Looking back now, which all she had been able to do for the past hour since she got up from their bed, she would guess that Tara was by then having the same problem she had been having. The calm balance that had allowed her to centre herself, anchor herself to unleash the magics had gone. Replaced with panic. Tara had been able to do nothing.

Willow had known she would be too late but she’d kept running anyway.

And at the last moment, a classic cliché she realised later but the sort of thing that happened nine times out of ten, before the demon had reached Tara and Riley a silver blur had flashed across between Tara and Willow. Where it had started she hadn’t known then. Where it had ended had been lodged in the demon’s chest splattering Tara and Riley with an orange viscous fluid.

And within seconds it had all stopped. Seconds that would have seen Tara and Riley dead but for that well aimed axe.

Everything had stopped.

Only the Scoobies had been left standing – or lying. A few of the demons had been sleeping. A few had been immobilised. Others had been lacking limbs but still alive. That hadn’t lasted long. Spike had retrieved his axe and set about finishing them all with a triumphant shout and a thick splatter.

Spike.

Spike had saved Tara.

All she, the woman who loved her, had done was to confuse her. To put her life in more danger than it already had been.

And that was the problem. Tara had perhaps done more in the circumstances with magic than Willow had ever done. Willow knew she would have gone for a big spell and probably being unable to do anything else – a burden to the more physical fighters. But Tara… Tara had been there throughout. Only at the end, when I had distracted her, did she need help. She had saved Riley.

And Spike had saved her.

I just endangered her.

Willow knew then that they couldn’t do that Scooby thing together. Research fine. They could be research gals together. And ok sometime there might be a need for big magic which we can only do together. But we can’t be there together like that in a fight. I can’t be there with her like that. Willow couldn’t, much as she loved the others – well all but Spike who she had gained a sneaking admiration for – care as much about them as she did Tara. Tara was the one she would worry about in such circumstances. And the worry brought the inability to act.

If she had thought for a second she would not have interrupted what she had known Tara was doing. If she had trusted Tara to accomplish it…

But to do that she would have to love Tara just a little bit less and that was an even less acceptable option.

So what should she do? Tara had proven herself far more effective with magicks in the battle than she would ever have dreamt of being – least not without going places Tara didn’t like her to think about. Should she let Tara take over the magical support act for the Scoobies?

Could she? Was she strong enough to do what Tara did? Could she let the woman she loved go off into danger and sit and wait for her? And what if she got hurt? Or worse. What then? She would hate herself. She might blame the others for letting it happen and it wouldn’t be their fault. She might even blame Tara for getting herself hurt. Resent it.

She would rather… not. It might not be the best thing for the Scoobies, but it was the best thing for them – and that might be the same thing in the long run. She wasn't as strong as Tara. She couldn’t accept the risks unless they were just to herself.

Though she had been looking towards Tara she had really been staring into the space between them, reliving what she had seen. She realised that Tara’s breathing had changed. That Tara was watching her just as she had been watching Tara.

She went back to her side of the bed and climbed in looking at the woman she loved.

‘You’re worried about what happened?’ Tara asked.

‘You aren’t?’ Willow countered sighing.

‘Yes.’

‘You can sleep though,’ Willow chided.

‘I’m exhausted. You’re worried about what will happen the next time we find each other in danger?’ Tara asked as if it been on her own mind.

‘There will be a next time,’ Willow told her as Tara stroked her ear.

‘I know.’

‘I….’ Willow started stopping as Tara started to say the same thing. ‘Go on.’

‘I don’t think that I should… Do you mind?’ Tara told her.

All Willow could ask was why… it might have been what she wanted, but why would Tara have reached the same conclusion? Willow knew her reasons were largely selfish, at least to the extent that she was trying to protect the both of them. But Tara had proven that she could be more than useful to the Scooby gang. Why would she not want that?

So Tara told her. ‘I don’t think that is what the magic is for.’

‘You mean it is dark?’ Willow doubted that. Doubted that Tara would go near the dark powers even for the best of reasons.

‘No… not dark. But it is close. Doing what I did… it killed those demons. I did it and I knew that would be the result even if I didn’t do it myself. I know they were bad… but that isn’t what the magic is for. I knew that but the magic… it was like it was whispering to me… wanting me to do more. And if I kept, doing that sort of thing then I might start to listen to it. If I started to look down into that dark place… it is seductive. I might find myself liking what I saw there,’ Tara told her, shuddering as if chilled as she did so. ‘Do you know what I mean? Have you felt that?’

Willow couldn’t answer that question. It had done more than whisper to her… sometimes it screamed at her and it was getting harder to resist it – when the need was great enough, when everything was at stake would it be so bad? To look down and accept just a little of what came from below? To use it for the best of reasons? But it was obvious where Tara stood, she had long since known it. Perhaps her lover was just being ultra cautious. There might be times when it was right to heed the whispers… and she didn’t want to have to promise that she wouldn’t.

When the need was great enough.

So instead she kissed Tara on the nose and answered another question. ‘I don’t mind at all love. I just want you safe.’ She pulled the covers up over them and snuggled down with her to ease into sleep.

If Tara had noticed that she had avoided the question she gave no sign.


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She's my always

[This message has been edited by Katharyn (edited October 10, 2001).]

IP: Logged

Forrister
Willowhand


Posts: 413
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 10, 2001 13:50               
Tara: "I'm not so good with the whole ...." (Flails arms about.)
Willow: "Swimming?"
Tara: "Violence."

I often wondered how Tara would fit in on a serious scooby raid. This answer has the beauty of logic and simplicity. I can also see why she chose to give it up in the end. With the 'I'm gonna be a demon soon!' thing hanging over her head, is is any wonder she'd want to avoid any vague leanings towards the dark side? Great story!


Numquam periculum sine periculo vincitur.
(Danger is never conquered without danger.)


IP: Logged

IP: LoggedForristerWillowhand


Posts: 413
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 10, 2001 13:50               
Tara: "I'm not so good with the whole ...." (Flails arms about.)
Willow: "Swimming?"
Tara: "Violence."

I often wondered how Tara would fit in on a serious scooby raid. This answer has the beauty of logic and simplicity. I can also see why she chose to give it up in the end. With the 'I'm gonna be a demon soon!' thing hanging over her head, is is any wonder she'd want to avoid any vague leanings towards the dark side? Great story!


Numquam periculum sine periculo vincitur.
(Danger is never conquered without danger.)


IP: Logged

posted October 10, 2001 13:50                Tara: "I'm not so good with the whole ...." (Flails arms about.)
Willow: "Swimming?"
Tara: "Violence."

I often wondered how Tara would fit in on a serious scooby raid. This answer has the beauty of logic and simplicity. I can also see why she chose to give it up in the end. With the 'I'm gonna be a demon soon!' thing hanging over her head, is is any wonder she'd want to avoid any vague leanings towards the dark side? Great story!


Numquam periculum sine periculo vincitur.
(Danger is never conquered without danger.)


Katharyn
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Ed Wood » Sun Oct 07, 2001 4:31 am

WOW!
Ed Wood
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby legend » Sun Oct 07, 2001 7:14 am

I'll second that WOW! and throw in a BRILLIANT!
legend
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Forrister » Sun Oct 07, 2001 12:37 pm

Poor frustrated Willow. I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who itches to get my hands on Tara's hair. And Tara! A secret hair brush ho!

This has certainly put a smile on my dial. Thanks.


Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri?
(How do you get your hair to do that?)

Forrister
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Zahir » Sun Oct 07, 2001 1:03 pm

Oh that was delightful! And original, too! I adore the idea of Tara and Anya being pals, along with the notion of a movie getting made about something Anya did centuries ago with her forcing everyone to watch it!

Well Done!

------------------
"O let my name be in the Book of Love.
If it be there, I care not of
That other book Above...
Strike it out! Or write it in anew.
But let it be in the Book of Love!"
--Omar Kyam

Zahir
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby kpmuse » Mon Oct 08, 2001 8:29 am

Fantastic chapter! Brushing Tara's hair - Oh my! Shiver!

kris

kpmuse
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Bunny » Mon Oct 08, 2001 1:58 pm

Excellent. I was really there getting really tense wishing they would all just go!
Bunny
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Katharyn » Tue Oct 09, 2001 10:14 am

Part 32 will post tomorrow Kittens. One to start easing you back into the spirit of the cycle... less of the fun more of the thought. One more fun one after that to round out the summer(assuming I can think of something fun to write) then the final hurrah from BvsD towards Family and...gasp... the end of the beginning (via Willowhand which I am still trying tomake suitably special.)

Katharyn

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She's my always

[This message has been edited by Katharyn (edited October 09, 2001).]

Katharyn
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby KittyKo » Tue Oct 09, 2001 5:19 pm

Oh... I'm affraid I'll start getting repetitive... but I loved it.

Hugs,
KittyKo

KittyKo
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Katharyn » Wed Oct 10, 2001 10:11 am

Here you go kittens, as mentioned not so fluffy this time round.

Katharyn
----------
Title: The Beginnings Cycle – Better Not Look Down (Currently Part 32)
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. katharynrosser@hotmail.com
Spoiler Warning: Limited spoilers for events up to start of Season 5
Summary: In the aftermath of some Scooby action Willow thinks about a decision. Tara makes it for her.
Disclaimer: I still don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc, etc. I am making zilch from this series of stories.
Rating: PG13
Couples: W/T
Notes: It always struck me that more often than not Tara was, unless being chased by something, usually out of the way when Scooby action was taking place. This perhaps gives one reason why that is.
A little more serious than recent parts and starting to get back onto track after the fun, games and diversions. And after proving to myself I could actually do some interaction that people seem to have liked I have shied away from it once more. Sorry Zahir.
During the redraft of this fic I totally changed the tense from present to past. I hope I picked up all grammar. UPDATE - I have just re-read this and found myself drowning in a sea of "had"s. Sorry about that. Too many to change.
“Better Not Look Down” is the title of a BB King song (though I believe it was written by someone else.) This part was originally called “Supporting Acts” but I think the current title better reflects the final message of this part and I hope by the end it is clear why and what this is the beginning of.
Thanks To: All the usual suspects…L.

The Beginnings Cycle

Better Not Look Down

By

Katharyn Rosser

Willow wasn’t sure exactly how it had happened. She’d missed the Scooby meeting where it had all probably been spelled out in the information rich way that Giles still liked to operate. What Tara had been doing there without her – she didn’t know. She hadn’t asked.

Yet.

She also didn’t know where that nest of demons had sprung from. She didn’t know what they’d wanted. She didn’t know if they’d just been on the basic “crush, kill, destroy” or trying to end the world. She didn’t know what kind of demons they had been. She didn’t even know how they had come to the attention of the Scoobies.

She’d probably find out the rest of the details tomorrow. It was all in the past. Because they had dealt with it without her.

And with Tara. Tara had been a part of it.

And that was what was really bothering her. Not being missed out, after all she had taken herself out of the loop by being out of town, but instead figuring out just what Tara had been doing there with them. How had Tara got into the Scooby loop?

Xander and Anya hadn’t been there. But Tara was. Course if those two had been in that demon infested basement… instead of Xander’s only slightly less infested basement she would never have known where to find the battle… and Tara.

It had been strictly the Scooby big guns. If you could call Giles a “Big Gun.” Now there was a thought – but he wouldn’t ask Buffy to go anywhere that he wouldn’t go himself. Not for that sort of set-piece battle anyway. Patrolling was different. They could all usually handle that. It was an old hat. It was comfy. It was one or two vamps at a time after all. It was familiar if sometimes terrifying. This had been a basement full of things that weren’t even vampires. They had been more your generic demon. If you couldn’t figure out what they were then kill them and figure it out later. If you had time.

Riley, government trained to seek and destroy all manner of creatures, critters and no doubt humans too. One of the “Big Guns.”

Spike. Well he was just Spike. With vampiric strength and reflexes he’d overmatched two slayers in the past and lived for the kill. Perhaps lived wasn't the right word, but Spike was more than useful. When he was sufficiently motivated. Which had probably meant cash. But still a “Big Gun.”

Buffy, of course. Nuff said there.

And Tara Maclay…

Mild mannered wicca by day… and mild mannered Wicca by night too. Definitely not “Big Gun” material.

Or so Willow had thought until tonight. It had been a shock.

Two shocks. One when she had found out and one when she had seen…

Now she, Tara, lay there, in the small hours of the morning, in the bed that they were supposed to be sharing. But Willow was far too concerned to sleep. Instead she sat in the chair across the room looking at the rise and fall of Tara’s chest. The expansion and contraction of her nostrils as she breathed quietly in her slumber. The tendril of hair that looped into the edge of her mouth and blew gently.

She supposed that being missing and not, in theory, due back until tomorrow – today now - then the magical support act had to be found elsewhere. She didn’t suppose that anyone had actually asked Tara to go with them. They wouldn’t have done that. Aside from the fact that they would want to protect her as much as Xander and Anya, Tara had also been an unknown quantity after all – and not really even an “official” Scooby. They hadn’t really known her. Even after last night they probably didn’t feel that they did. Tara had faced her share of dangers but never sought it out as the rest of them had.

No… Tara had probably felt that she should go.

Because I wasn't there to do it myself.

Xander and Anya had made it pretty clear that they had been surprised that she had gone with Buffy. Factored herself into their plans. Anya especially had seemed shocked. Might even have argued against it if her concern later was anything to go by. And Willow had thought that the ex-vengeance demon cared only about two things. Maybe there was one more thing in her not very complex personality matrix. She didn’t know if that said something for or against the woman sleeping in the bed… Probably best not to think about it.

She knew it had been Tara. It was just the way she was. More of a sense of duty than one of self-preservation. Always giving and asking so little in return. Which could be a good thing, the goddess knew Willow had benefited from her kindness and her sensitivity enough – even before they had fallen for each other so devastatingly and completely. But sometimes she just wanted Tara to say no. Or at least to say what she actually wanted for herself – or for them - more. She was getting better, more and more confident in expressing her own desires, but Tara was still sometimes too considerate for her own good. Too attentive to the wants of others. Would it really be so bad for her to be a little selfish? What was the worst that could happen?

Willow just couldn’t see Tara actually wanting to go along with Buffy and the others. But she had gone nonetheless.

If she had been there then Tara wouldn’t have gone. Not because she would have stopped her, but because there would have seemed to be no need. Tara had never asked to go with her in the past for Scoobyage. She had never volunteered. She had gone to meetings when Willow had. She had researched and helped plan. But she had never leapt into the fray. She just accepted Willow’s absence, probably worried in silence and then rejoiced on her safe return.

But with Willow not there it appeared Tara had felt that she should go. That someone should and she was the only one who could.

So she had.

And it had not been a bad thing. From a Scooby point of view. Tara had been all wicca-spellslinger gal.

Willow had not been that late in getting there. The battle had still been raging, the others had probably made a stealthy approach, planned what they would do. Willow had just charged over. She had run halfway across town following Xander’s directions. She hadn’t run so far since Coach Murphy had banished her at high school to a session of laps five years ago. Nor had she ever run so fast. But something other than energy had driven her. Not even willpower. She had been running on love and concern.

Her Tara had put herself in danger. That had been all she had been able to think about.

She hadn’t doubted that the others would look out for Tara, more so because she was relatively new to it all. But it wasn't always possible to protect everyone. How many times had one of them taken a hit whilst everyone else had been fighting for their lives? Xander, Giles, Willow herself. All of them had been flattened, injured, knocked out – though that was Giles’s speciality – more than once. Not because no one was looking out, but because everyone was caught up in their own survival and sometimes that had to come first. And where might that have left Tara?

She had arrived to find a dead demon on the ground by the basement access and was pretty sure at that moment that she had the right place. She had gone downstairs and she could feel the magic in the air. It had been a tangible thing. She’d been able to smell it, taste it, feel it. She’d heard the slight occasional crackle. She had been able to witness some of the effects as she’s stepped into the basement. Most of all she had been able to feel it. Right between her ears. Thick as treacle. And the only person who could have been wielding it was her Tara. Giles was more your big preparation guy than a think on your feet, necessity being the mother of invention blond-wicca-goddess spellcaster.

Fortunately for him. She wasn't sure, looking back, that the demons would have taken him seriously in a blonde wig – even with a sword.

She had emerged into the basement, at the other end from where the fighting was now, but obviously they had fought their way in and through the occupants. There had been dismembered demons at her feet – probably Spike getting over enthusiastic with the axe he had still been wielding in a cheerfully psychotic fury.

Giles had been up against one of the red skinned things with a sword, the cross bow strapped to his back and had seemed to be coming off the better. Buffy too had an axe, but had seemed a bit less cheerful than Spike. Enthusiastic but not outright happy.

Riley… Riley, when she had stepped into the basement had been in trouble, down on the ground with two going at him as he’d struggled to regain his feet.

Tara. Tara had been slightly out of the thick of it, but if there had been a rear then that was not where Tara had located herself, she had been in the danger zone letting off spells one after another. Helping the others when they needed it. Taking independent action when she could. But even there, in what had appeared to be the danger zone it was as if she had been in… a different place. Nothing had seemed to be going for her. The demons had been just totally ignoring her. One had charged down from behind her and Willow had been about to shout out a warning but the demon had bypassed the woman she loved and was another attacker for Riley.

That had made three, far too many for the grounded soldier to have a hope against. The others, well all except Spike, had rallied to his cause but they had their own problems.

It, the demon then trying to get in a position to rip Riley’s head off, hadn’t even looked at Tara and Willow realised that for some reason the demons had just not been able to see her. Willow had noticed the open air vent panel on the street outside. The right ingredients and the right words before hand… Certainly she didn’t think that Tara knew any spells that she could have just cast off the cuff to achieve that effect. She had been prepared.

And it might have been what kept Tara alive. Which was a very, very good thing.

But right then even that blessed thought had been submerged beneath her fascination at Tara’s actions in the thick of events.

Tara had gestured, her lips moving in silent incantation and Riley’s latest attacker had fallen to the floor. Not hurt, just unconscious, a sleep spell. It fell in front of Spike who, before its fellows could attempt to wake it with their bellows of rage, had cleaved it’s head in two with his axe. Messily. The vampire gestured at Tara and had flinched when Tara waved back, but it had just been a wave not another spell. The vampire had treated her a bit like she had been waving a gun around… he had been afraid of her. Tara must have really proved herself.

That had still left Riley under attack by two – whatever the heck they were - demons. Buffy had been struggling to dispatch her own targets and reach Riley but had been forced to divert via Giles who was had been having problems with a demon that had taken up a metal pole far longer than his sword and threatened to skewer him.

Tara though had been equal to the task and with another gesture and a cloud of faintly glowing dust one demon had lapsed into convulsions of… tickling? Typhas’s Tickles… a spell taught to children, Tara had once told her, who were involved in Wicca. Willow had suffered from that herself one night – being forced to beg Tara to end the spell. Absolute hell if you couldn’t stand to be tickled. It had looked like the demon couldn’t. Willow had then realised that Tara was throwing her entire repertoire at the demons in support of the Scooby’s. Magical smoke still had been lingering in the air from some earlier spell.

There had been nothing dark about Tara’s efforts. Not in the slightest. Nothing overly powerful even. The invisibility had been limited to Tara herself. The demons had been able to see the others just fine. The sleep spell had been focused and not general. Tara had not been tapping unknown reserves or the darker powers, she had just been using what she had in the best and most effective ways. And it had succeeded in ways that Willow never dreamed it could do.

Tickling a demon? With magic? Who would have ever considered that? Only Tara perhaps. Maybe you could kill with kindness.

Now, hours after the event, it made Willow wonder. She had always been researching, tinkering – looking for bigger and bigger effects. As if big equalled useful – and she wasn't convinced that wasn't true. How much better would a general sleep spell have been? But what Tara had done – that was worth thinking about.

It had been then that Tara had made her mistake, but perhaps it had been Willow’s mistake really.

Riley had been able to twist the head of the demon he was struggling with. With an awful snap that had gone through Willow’s chest even at the other end of the basement its head had lolled at an unnatural angle. Unsupported the demon had collapsed on top of him. The ex-soldier had struggled to free himself but the demon had just become dead weight. Just as Riley would have been if he didn’t get loose.

And so Tara had directly entered the fray.

She had sidestepped both the demons and the Scoobies, avoiding giving away her presence too early by disturbing them and making herself visible to them once more. The mistake, at the time, had seemed to be struggling to lift the body of the demon off Riley. Her presence had become obvious to them as she interacted with the environment in a way that their brains could not have explained away. It had been as if a shroud had been lifted and suddenly they had been aware of her. One of them had started to make for directly for Tara.

From behind. She couldn’t have known it was there. Shouldn’t have.

But somehow she had. Even as Willow had screamed her name in warning Tara had turned to it, starting to gesture and no doubt incant.

Willow’s cry had distracted her though. Willow had been able to see that, the horror in Tara’s face as she had turned back to see her lover standing there. Wasting precious fragments of the seconds she had. The beginnings of the spell had gone from her mind – and she had been defenceless with the demon getting closer. The fear on her face had given way to confusion as Tara had obviously being groping around in her head for something – anything that could have saved them.

Riley couldn’t help her, he was still pinned. No one else could have got there.

Willow knew she might have got Tara killed then with her scream and the panic that brought had caused her to start to summon her own powers. To find something, anything that would have distracted the demon. Stopped it. Killed it. Blown it to dust.

Before it could have got to Tara.

But she hadn’t been able to. Nothing would come to her then.

Or rather too much had come. The demon and the Scoobies had seemed to be moving in slow motion to her. So slowly. She’d seemed to have plenty of time. An age to prevent what was coming. But she hadn’t been able to prevent a thing. To do a thing about it.

What had come to her had been fragments. Beginnings. Ends. Middle bits. Different spells. Any one of which would have saved the woman she loved. But not coherent. Not one. Not anything she could have used. Nothing would come when she needed it to.

And so she had run.

Towards Tara but she had known she was going to be too late. Too late.

Riley had still been struggling to shift the weight.

Looking back now, which all she had been able to do for the past hour since she got up from their bed, she would guess that Tara was by then having the same problem she had been having. The calm balance that had allowed her to centre herself, anchor herself to unleash the magics had gone. Replaced with panic. Tara had been able to do nothing.

Willow had known she would be too late but she’d kept running anyway.

And at the last moment, a classic cliché she realised later but the sort of thing that happened nine times out of ten, before the demon had reached Tara and Riley a silver blur had flashed across between Tara and Willow. Where it had started she hadn’t known then. Where it had ended had been lodged in the demon’s chest splattering Tara and Riley with an orange viscous fluid.

And within seconds it had all stopped. Seconds that would have seen Tara and Riley dead but for that well aimed axe.

Everything had stopped.

Only the Scoobies had been left standing – or lying. A few of the demons had been sleeping. A few had been immobilised. Others had been lacking limbs but still alive. That hadn’t lasted long. Spike had retrieved his axe and set about finishing them all with a triumphant shout and a thick splatter.

Spike.

Spike had saved Tara.

All she, the woman who loved her, had done was to confuse her. To put her life in more danger than it already had been.

And that was the problem. Tara had perhaps done more in the circumstances with magic than Willow had ever done. Willow knew she would have gone for a big spell and probably being unable to do anything else – a burden to the more physical fighters. But Tara… Tara had been there throughout. Only at the end, when I had distracted her, did she need help. She had saved Riley.

And Spike had saved her.

I just endangered her.

Willow knew then that they couldn’t do that Scooby thing together. Research fine. They could be research gals together. And ok sometime there might be a need for big magic which we can only do together. But we can’t be there together like that in a fight. I can’t be there with her like that. Willow couldn’t, much as she loved the others – well all but Spike who she had gained a sneaking admiration for – care as much about them as she did Tara. Tara was the one she would worry about in such circumstances. And the worry brought the inability to act.

If she had thought for a second she would not have interrupted what she had known Tara was doing. If she had trusted Tara to accomplish it…

But to do that she would have to love Tara just a little bit less and that was an even less acceptable option.

So what should she do? Tara had proven herself far more effective with magicks in the battle than she would ever have dreamt of being – least not without going places Tara didn’t like her to think about. Should she let Tara take over the magical support act for the Scoobies?

Could she? Was she strong enough to do what Tara did? Could she let the woman she loved go off into danger and sit and wait for her? And what if she got hurt? Or worse. What then? She would hate herself. She might blame the others for letting it happen and it wouldn’t be their fault. She might even blame Tara for getting herself hurt. Resent it.

She would rather… not. It might not be the best thing for the Scoobies, but it was the best thing for them – and that might be the same thing in the long run. She wasn't as strong as Tara. She couldn’t accept the risks unless they were just to herself.

Though she had been looking towards Tara she had really been staring into the space between them, reliving what she had seen. She realised that Tara’s breathing had changed. That Tara was watching her just as she had been watching Tara.

She went back to her side of the bed and climbed in looking at the woman she loved.

‘You’re worried about what happened?’ Tara asked.

‘You aren’t?’ Willow countered sighing.

‘Yes.’

‘You can sleep though,’ Willow chided.

‘I’m exhausted. You’re worried about what will happen the next time we find each other in danger?’ Tara asked as if it been on her own mind.

‘There will be a next time,’ Willow told her as Tara stroked her ear.

‘I know.’

‘I….’ Willow started stopping as Tara started to say the same thing. ‘Go on.’

‘I don’t think that I should… Do you mind?’ Tara told her.

All Willow could ask was why… it might have been what she wanted, but why would Tara have reached the same conclusion? Willow knew her reasons were largely selfish, at least to the extent that she was trying to protect the both of them. But Tara had proven that she could be more than useful to the Scooby gang. Why would she not want that?

So Tara told her. ‘I don’t think that is what the magic is for.’

‘You mean it is dark?’ Willow doubted that. Doubted that Tara would go near the dark powers even for the best of reasons.

‘No… not dark. But it is close. Doing what I did… it killed those demons. I did it and I knew that would be the result even if I didn’t do it myself. I know they were bad… but that isn’t what the magic is for. I knew that but the magic… it was like it was whispering to me… wanting me to do more. And if I kept, doing that sort of thing then I might start to listen to it. If I started to look down into that dark place… it is seductive. I might find myself liking what I saw there,’ Tara told her, shuddering as if chilled as she did so. ‘Do you know what I mean? Have you felt that?’

Willow couldn’t answer that question. It had done more than whisper to her… sometimes it screamed at her and it was getting harder to resist it – when the need was great enough, when everything was at stake would it be so bad? To look down and accept just a little of what came from below? To use it for the best of reasons? But it was obvious where Tara stood, she had long since known it. Perhaps her lover was just being ultra cautious. There might be times when it was right to heed the whispers… and she didn’t want to have to promise that she wouldn’t.

When the need was great enough.

So instead she kissed Tara on the nose and answered another question. ‘I don’t mind at all love. I just want you safe.’ She pulled the covers up over them and snuggled down with her to ease into sleep.

If Tara had noticed that she had avoided the question she gave no sign.


------------------
She's my always

[This message has been edited by Katharyn (edited October 10, 2001).]

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Forrister
Willowhand


Posts: 413
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 10, 2001 13:50               
Tara: "I'm not so good with the whole ...." (Flails arms about.)
Willow: "Swimming?"
Tara: "Violence."

I often wondered how Tara would fit in on a serious scooby raid. This answer has the beauty of logic and simplicity. I can also see why she chose to give it up in the end. With the 'I'm gonna be a demon soon!' thing hanging over her head, is is any wonder she'd want to avoid any vague leanings towards the dark side? Great story!


Numquam periculum sine periculo vincitur.
(Danger is never conquered without danger.)


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IP: LoggedForristerWillowhand


Posts: 413
Registered: Aug 2001
posted October 10, 2001 13:50               
Tara: "I'm not so good with the whole ...." (Flails arms about.)
Willow: "Swimming?"
Tara: "Violence."

I often wondered how Tara would fit in on a serious scooby raid. This answer has the beauty of logic and simplicity. I can also see why she chose to give it up in the end. With the 'I'm gonna be a demon soon!' thing hanging over her head, is is any wonder she'd want to avoid any vague leanings towards the dark side? Great story!


Numquam periculum sine periculo vincitur.
(Danger is never conquered without danger.)


IP: Logged

posted October 10, 2001 13:50                Tara: "I'm not so good with the whole ...." (Flails arms about.)
Willow: "Swimming?"
Tara: "Violence."

I often wondered how Tara would fit in on a serious scooby raid. This answer has the beauty of logic and simplicity. I can also see why she chose to give it up in the end. With the 'I'm gonna be a demon soon!' thing hanging over her head, is is any wonder she'd want to avoid any vague leanings towards the dark side? Great story!


Numquam periculum sine periculo vincitur.
(Danger is never conquered without danger.)


Katharyn
 


New Fic: The Beginning Cycle

Postby Forrister » Wed Oct 10, 2001 10:50 am

Tara: "I'm not so good with the whole ...." (Flails arms about.)
Willow: "Swimming?"
Tara: "Violence."

I often wondered how Tara would fit in on a serious scooby raid. This answer has the beauty of logic and simplicity. I can also see why she chose to give it up in the end. With the 'I'm gonna be a demon soon!' thing hanging over her head, is is any wonder she'd want to avoid any vague leanings towards the dark side? Great story!


Numquam periculum sine periculo vincitur.
(Danger is never conquered without danger.)


Forrister
 

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