I like angsty stuff, so...well...you're warned...
Path of Thorns
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Author: TheFire (awcc@angelfire.com)
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Um...this all kinda takes place after an undeterminate time from Tabula Rasa, so I'm guessing everything up to and including that episode would be safe.
Feedback: would be extra cool.
Disclaimer: Don't own them, etc etc etc. Joss is a genius, etc etc etc.
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The floor was damp and cold and hard and generally just not all that pleasant. Not that it mattered that much to Willow - not that anything mattered that much anymore. Not after what she'd lost, not after everything she'd gone through. Still, her butt was getting sore and she began wondering
again why she was sitting here, hugging herself for warmth, lost in the catacombs of a large tomb all cold, wet and miserable like. And alone. Couldn't forget that. It was the loneliness that hurt the most.
"I just wanted everyone to be happy." Willow whispered to herself, her voice echoing softly through the empty corridors. A faint sound could be heard in the distance, but it was too far away to make out.
"Can't they understand that?" tears threatened to pour from her eyes, and Willow just let them fall. What did it matter anyways? Nobody cared, nobody was here to see her. They all abandoned her...they didn't need her anymore.
Willow, what's wrong with you? These spells you're doing...what's happened to
you Will? I know you and Tara had a fight...ok so a major one...but this isn't the way to cope, Will. It's...it's just wrong and I...I just don't know if I can trust you anymore.
Wrong? What was wrong? She'd just been doing what she'd always been doing. They didn't
seem to mind before. Can't break into the Initiative? Ok, use a spell if you have to.
Can't get the tracking device out of Spike's shoulder in time? I know you know there's a
spell that'll buy us some time. What was different now? She was still trying to help.
Ok, so maybe she made some mistakes. But those were ok if you tried to fix them right? Afterall, everyone made mistakes and the most you can expect from a person is that they try and fix them. And she did. She had had it all planned out. They wouldn't even know. No more pain, no more suffering, no more arguements and no more getting ripped out of heaven by your best friend...it'd just be like the way they used to be. Together and happy, living the Scooby life. But it backfired on her didn't it? Now she had nothing. Not Tara, not her friends, nothing. And now...now they didn't even want her for her magick. She was useless... she used to be so useful. If any one of them needed help, they would go to her. It made her feel happy, like she was needed and finally belonged to something. Now...now they didn't want to have anything to do with her.
How could this happen? How could this happen to me?
Willow sniffled and wipped away some of her tears with the back of her sleeve. Unknown to her a pair of eyes silently observed from the shadows.
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"You sure we should leave Willow like that? I mean...she did come out here to help us
with the new evil and all. ... Not that I think we couldn't do this without her or anything ...but she could be a major help. Maybe do that cool lightening thing with the black eyes and the floating and..."
The Slayer glared at him.
"Hey, just a suggestion," Xander raised is hands in surrender, "no need to get all killer-looky."
Buffy rolled her eyes at him tolerantly before continuing down the corridor, Slayer senses alert. Truth be told, she wouldn't have minded having someone with Willow's powers with her right now. The demon they were tracking seemed to have an affinity for magick and fighting fire with fire didn't seem like such a bad idea. Slayer strength really doesn't count much when you're dangling in mid-air with your limbs flailing.
Buffy cringed at the memory. That had been...interesting and not something she wished to repeat. Hopefully they'd catch the thing by surprise this time so they wouldn't have an encore performance of Buffy: the dangling magick finger puppet. No, having Willow along would have been a definite asset...but there were other things to consider.
"Willow has her own problems to work out. I don't want to drag her into this. Especially in a magic weilding type capacity." Buffy explained as they walked, "I don't want to encourage her."
"That's probably a good idea. I've seen this sort of thing before and it rarely goes well. Especially if the person continues to dip into the darker magicks."
"What sort of thing?" Xander asked.
"Magick addiction. You don't spend a thousand years as a vengeance demon without seeing a few wiccas go wonky."
"Wonky wiccas?"
"Yup. Actually, if you know what I know, Willow isn't all that bad. At least she hasn't outrightly hurt someone. Well...intentionally at least."
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Tara's heart was breaking. Willow looked so lost and alone curled up on the floor like that...probably because she was. The brief meeting with the Scoobies was painful to watch. It wasn't hard for her to see that her Willow was devistated. Tara knew how much being a part of the Scoobies meant to Willow. How much she just wanted to help people. But she was going about it all wrong. The Dark Magicks probably had a lot to do with that. Tara didn't know before what Willow had done in order to save her
from Glory but after a while she found out. Seeing the book labeled 'Darkest Magicks' hidden behind their night table had nearly brought her to tears. Oh, Willow, what did you have to sacrifice to get me back? But for a while Willow was fine. Sure, she would cast an occasional spell without really needing to but she was still Willow, her Willow. They were together and they were happy. For a while that was all that was important, all that mattered. But soon Tara realised just how much Willow had changed, just how much the Dark Magicks were effecting her. Before, when they did a spell
together it was always...well...it was always a pleasurable experience. The blonde wiccan smiled a little sadly at the memory. But that last time, that last time they had tried to do one together...Tara shuddered.
She could almost feel the dark energy flooding through her aura again, it was that intense. And to think that it had come from Willow... She knew then that Willow was heading someplace very dark and tried her hardest to stop her from heading down that path. She had hoped that by staying close to Willow, she would be able to help lead her away from that. But that didn't go too well now did it? Willow wasn't listening to her - she couldn't see what the Dark Magick was doing to her - and worse yet, Willow was playing with her memories. That had been the big wake up call. What she was trying to do wasn't going to work, they weren't going to work. Not like this and certainly not with Willow walking down the path she was on. Tara was too close to everything, to Willow, to actually help her. If she stayed she would just be being selfish, trying to cling onto whatever that was left of the Willow she loved. No, that wasn't going to happen even if it killed her, she loved her too much.
'Oh Willow' Tara thought silently to herself as she watched her love from the shadows.
'I'll find you, I promise. I just don't know how to do it yet.'
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to be continued?
[This message has been edited by TheFire (edited November 18, 2001).]
[This message has been edited by TheFire (edited November 18, 2001).]