Note: A bit brief, and sadly the last part of my fic...Will probably do a sequal, based around the events in ''Family'', if anyone thinks it's worth it...? Once again, thanks for all the support, guys...Oh yes and...ANGST ALERT!
The dreams never left Tara, not even in the harsh light of day, not really. If she so much as closed her eyes, she was back there, bruised and bleeding. Her father's cruel smile, and Donny's leering, mocking gaze. Hands that grabbed her hair, leaving blonde strands within calloused fingers. Hands that struck her if she stuttered, when her fear made speech impossible. The heavy tread of Donny's boots outside her room, the creaking of her door and the look on her father's face the morning after, pretending not to know…The guilt, the shame, the dirt that wouldn't rub off no matter how hard she tried. Tainted. She avoided the company of others, fearing this sickness to be contagious. Believing that no-one could help her, and wouldn't want to if they were ale to. Why help this twisted thing, her evil all of her own making, all her own fault, just like they said. Because they were right, Donny and her father. Always right. She had to be kept in line for her own good, and if she made them do things…All my fault. I did this to them…Even with Willow, the thought always nagged at the back of her head, If she knew…if she knew…she'd HATE me. Willow's warmth and light soothed her, calmed her restless spirit and quieted the voices running around inside her skull. For the first time in so many, many years - too many - she felt loved, as though she could be good, underneath all this evil. But Goddess, just give me the chance. Don't make me tell her too soon…Despite all the wonder in her new-found friendship, the shadow still hung over her, never quite dispelled. Willow was a demon-fighter and Tara was…I'm disgusting. How could she love a thing like me? A thing so corrupt that I pretend to be what I'm not. The more time passed, the more Tara was afraid that her inner self would burst through, through all the peace and the love, all that was Tara Maclay, and destroy everything that she had so painstakingly, so timorously, built. I'm buying time. That's all I need, to make the wickedness go away.
Her heart thumped so loud in her chest that surely Willow must hear it, surely she would guess that all was not as it should be. Oh God, not now. Not so soon. Don't make me lose her. Oh Goddess, Momma, don't let me lose her now. Oh, Willow, forgive me. Forgive me for what I am about to do. I'm doing it for you, Willow, for us, for what we could have between us. Someday you'll understand…Understand that only you can save me…
Just a little more time…And, feeling sick with her sense of double betrayal, Tara tossed the shiny powder under the bed, so that only a mere film of residue was left on her hands.
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''We HAVE to kill some cooler people'' - Sunday the cute vampire
''Those of you who fall into my good graces will come to know me as Maggie. Those of you who don't will know me by the name my T.A's use and think I don't know about: The Evil Bitch Monster of Death''. - Maggie Walsh